#1 She Decked A Nun
When I was in second grade (1994) I went to Catholic school. I learned about other religions through TV and asked my mom if those other people who follow other religions would go to eternal damnation. She told me, "Honey it doesn't matter what you believe in as long as you are kind to others." I was so stoked. I went to school and told my friends what she had said and they all got super excited. Well, the news got around the school and I was called into principle Sister Gene's office.
She spanked me for spreading blasphemy. My mom was called to pick me up because I was inconsolable afterwards. I'm sitting outside the nun's office watching my mom and her talk when suddenly my mom DECKED A NUN IN THE FACE!!!
Now my mom is a guidance councillor at a large high school in Genesee MI. She's the nicest person I've ever met. I will never forget that moment. She came out yelling "go ahead and call the authorities" and we went and had Slurpees. A week later I started public school and my mom started her job as a teacher.
#2 She Risked Her Life
When I was like 12 years old, my family made a trip to Croatia and we wanted to cross through Serbia. After like five hours of driving with the car, I really had to go to the bathroom out in the middle of nowhere. But because of possible mines still around after battle, my mom told me to stay at the car while she made a safe path to a place I can go to the bathroom. It took me five years to realize that she had put herself in the serious danger of getting taken out by a mine just because I had to empty my bowels.
#3 She Was Committed To The Chase
My brother was misbehaving so my mom wanted to hit him with the slipper. I was in the bathroom so when I came out I was surprised no one was home. I looked out the window and saw my brother running across an empty field and my mom chasing him with the slipper in hand. The funniest sight I ever saw.
#4 She Let Him Have It
My mom once got out of the car at a stoplight to walk up to the driver's side window of the truck in front of us so she could scream at him until the light turned green for intentionally swerving to run over a box turtle along the side of the road.
#5 She Was A Crazy Cat Lady
My mum puts all of the bowls of catfood in the oven in winter so they don't have to eat cold food. We have nine cats.
#6 She Was Ready to Fight
I was having a fire in the back yard with a friend. Early in the night I saw a shadow of someone in a yard over and I told my friend. He said nah, I don't see anything. Yes. There's a man there. A couple of hours later I see the same man, only this time from another neighbor's yard. My friend gets to take a look and scares the guy off. We decide to call it a night.
Our dogs (who had been inside) bark when they hear the side gate as I let my friend out. My mom wakes up, asks what's happening. I tell her about the creeper. She grabs a flashlight, hands me the phone and says, "Call 9-1-1 if you hear anything wrong!"
Armed with just a flashlight, her tank top and panties she was sleeping in, she runs outside to look for the creep! Turned out to be my ex-boyfriend following me. Officers were called.
But I will always remember her running out there with nothing but a flashlight and a mom's courage, and thinking "she's crazy."
#7 Pops Her Collar
She pops her shirt collar every day. Every. Day.
#8 She Went Back For It
We were driving down the road once when I was younger. My mom suddenly pulls into a random driveway and jumps out of the car and starts walking down the street the way I came. She bent down to pick something up. She comes back to the car with a coin in her hand and says "I knew I saw a quarter on the sidewalk."
#9 She Fended off Coyotes
My mother fended off a pack of coyotes that were approaching us by yelling and waving sticks at them. After hiding me off to the side, she took off as bait to lead them away.
That could have gone so wrong.
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#10 She Yelled at Granddad
I made some drawings on some cards and sent them as invitations for my birthday to my family members. My granddad thought it was a fun idea, and made a drawing of his own which he sent to me, accepting the invitation and letting me know that he looked forward to it. This short-circuited my mother's brain for some reason.
When I got home from school, she threw my little brother and myself in the car and drove us to my granddad's house where she proceeded to scream at him, seemingly forever, about how despicable he was, how he played favourites, and how he was a terrible person for not having sent a card to my little brother for his birthday a month earlier.
The fact that my brother hadn't sent out any invitations, and that he didn't care at all about me getting a reply for my effort, didn't matter to her at all. Things were never quite the same between my mother and my granddad after that day. It's one of those things we don't talk about. And I didn't send out invitations in the years which followed.
#11 She Smashed Dishes
I once didn't wash the dishes so she decided to smash one of those dishes on the wall. I knew not to mess with my angry mom after that one.
#12 She Yelled Profanities
I've never heard my mother use any profanity in my entire life, not as a child, or an adult. We had a retirement party for her, and a lot of co-workers showed up. She was her usual pleasant self, and at the end of the night, she got up from the table, called her boss an "effing worthless piece of you-know-what" and left the restaurant.
#13 She Put Her Fist Through A Window
My mom decked the back window of a van when he almost hit me while backing out of his driveway, and she also confronted the driver. I have never seen my mother so livid, nor have I ever seen a man be so scared of my 5'4 mom. It was crazy.
#14 She Was A Bad Driver
Not evil crazy, but stupid crazy. My mum can't drive. She has: Driven down a flight of stairs because she thought it was the car park entrance; Reversed into a table that somebody was moving; Gotten wedged half off a retaining wall after driving forward instead of reversing. She has also scratched her eye twice. Once on an envelope and another time at the store on those metal things you hang stuff off.
#15 She Hit Him Where it Hurts
My mother was angry with my dad for bossing her around. She proceeded to grab him by the nuts and squeeze with all her might. My dad was screaming and rolling on the floor.
#16 She Had No Rules
Oh, my mother. Love her to bits but she definitely has shaped her own category of how to be a parent. First off, she works and has worked 60-70 hours a week my entire life. She loves her job, and that’s why she’s there so much. Wasn’t really around the house, but when she was she was drinking Coke by the can and watching Forensic Files. Stopped using a babysitter for my younger brother and I when I turned eight. Set no house rules or curfews. Said, “Rules don’t make men, mistakes do.” Then sips her soda and watches her show.
#17 The Cuckoo Clock
Mom is a meticulous housekeeper. That's why, according to Dad, she neatly placed daily newspapers under the cuckoo clock, "just in case."
#18 She Fell For It
She fell for a Nigerian (Jamaican) lottery con. After she had my dad thrown in lock up (she was blocking the bedroom door where $2000 in cash was and he pushed her aside to get the money before she sent it to the people) we had an impromptu intervention. The bad people would call the house every five minutes. She lost about $6000 to them. She would beg them on the phone to bring the lottery money because we didn't believe her. It was very sad.
#19 She Went Crazy
She was so upset she pulled out two huge tins filled with screws and nails—and sorted them. Another time she was upset I came home to her standing on a chair, washing all ceilings with a cloth. We lived in a 300 kvm house. It took hours.
#20 She Was A Silent Film Actress
We were hiking the Grand Canyon and it was day two so we were hiking up and out, which is, of course, more challenging than walking downhill. My mom kept complaining about the heat and how tired she was, and along comes a park ranger leading a group of tourists on a burro ride to the bottom. She walks right in front of his horse (the rangers ride horses, the tourist's burros/donkeys) and collapses on the ground, crying and wailing.
The ranger asks if she needs medical help and she literally holds the back of her hand against her forehead like a silent film actress and sobs that she can't carry this backpack any farther, etc. The ranger says he can take her backpack and drop it off next to the ranger station at the top of the canyon and she thanks him about 12 times, crying non-stop. All this time the tourists are staring at this spectacle and that was enough for me. I was so embarrassed. I told my sister I would meet them all at the top and I took off on my own.
#21 She Pushed Him In
My five-foot-tall mum saw a man taking coins from a fountain, so she pushed him in.
#22 She Hulked Out
One time because I didn’t tell my mom what was making me upset, she literally hulked out and ripped her shirt off. I still didn’t tell her what was wrong, but there was now an additional problem of seeing the angriest half-dressed woman in existence.
#23 She Was Tough
My mom is a bada**. She raised three boys all by herself working as a bartender. I can’t fathom doing the same thing and to me, it’s crazy how it’s even possible with no child support or nothing. Every time I hit a certain age and actually think about it I’m baffled. I hit 22 and I’m like, “Hmm mom had three kids at this time. I hit 30 and think, “She bought her first house at 30, what is wrong with me!” It’s just crazy to me.
#24 She Freaked Out
When I was around 14, she went on a blind rampage calling us (myself and two brothers, ages 13 and 11) lying little brats, that no one would ever trust us and we'd get nowhere in life, that she hates living with us and she wishes she could pack up and leave like our father did (he left to escape her, and is still very much involved in our lives). Why? Someone ate the last biscuit in the packet and no one would own up to it.
#25 She Was An Incredible Soccer Player
My mom was a very good football player in her youth. Growing up in Dublin though there was no future for her and she ended up being a shop worker most of her life. When I was about 15 we were playing soccer on the street. It was late evening and my mam was coming around the corner, home from a 12 hours shift. We used to play with a tennis ball to try and boost our control.
As she walked around the corner the ball came to her. Not missing a beat she took it down on her chest and flicked it over one of the lads head, she then dropped the shoulder and nearly broke my mates ankle as she jinked him and then proceeded to smash the ball into the top corner past me without me even moving. She would have been 53 at the time and did it all in her works shoes, uniform and carrying her handbag. We just all stood there in silence as she just pottered off into the house.
#26 She Ended A Lethal Snake
My mom hoofed a lethal snake a meter in the air. We were walking along the beach when a Dugite slithered over her foot. She couldn't see what it was because she was carrying two large bags, but instinctively kicked it to the side as if it was a tree branch or something and kept walking. Meanwhile everyone behind her was trying to process what the heck just happened.
#27 She Hunted Him Down
Some creep flashed me just as I was getting into the house where my mum was recovering from a really bad case of the flu. So instead of leaving it she took off down the street to hunt him down in her nighty with her hair stuck to her head. I think she would have ended him If she'd found him. She then found two bin men and told them so the three of them were hunting this creep down together.
#28 She Was Mean To Staff
She used to be the kind of person who would yell at retail and fast-food employees. One time she freaked out at a Blockbuster employee because she accidentally gave me the wrong game. I always checked to make sure we got the right one before we got home, so it really wasn't a big deal. Later when she was telling my dad what happened she lied and acted like she was the victim. Very uncool. I was only 10 and even I knew better than to act like that.
#29 She Got Very Jealous
She got jealous because my boyfriend got me flowers and my dad didn't get her any so she proceeded to turn the gas hob on and leave the gas pouring out to see if anybody noticed her.
#30 She Dueled With A Monkey
A monkey entered my house through the back door and went straight into the kitchen. It started breaking things and throwing stuff around. My mom tried to shoo it away but it wouldn't budge. So she took a stick to save herself incase it attacks and started shouting at it. The monkey started making these sounds trying to scare her. This went on for about 10 minutes. I guess the monkey got tired and it left but ill never forgot the sight of my mom who is usually kinda calm trying to duel with the monkey.
#31 She Panicked At The Sight Of A Candle
I accidentally fell asleep with a candle still lit when I was a teenager. My mom saw, and instead of walking over and putting it out, she completely panicked. She let out a big yell, grabbed the candle and swung it around while trying to put it out. She spilled wax everywhere.
I realize that's unsafe, but nothing else was on fire that might cause a panic. To this day I can't figure out why she was so freaked out by a candle that she lost her mind and spilled wax all over the place rather than just using her breath to put it out.
#32 She Legged It In A Nun's Costume
My mom was looking out of a window and saw a traffic warden about to put a parking ticket on her car. Panicking, she flung open the window and shouted "WAIT!" She sprinted down the stairs and up the street towards him. The best part was she was currently starring in a production of the Sound of Music and as such was dressed in a full nuns habit (the window she leaned out of was at the back of the theatre) so this traffic warden got to witness a nun come belting up the street shouting at him in a very strong opera singers voice.
#33 She Tripped
A few years ago my mom was going through the menopause and wasn't really feeling great about herself. My step-dad and I were trying to cheer her up and give her compliments but it didn't seem to do much to help. One Saturday evening I was having dinner with them (there was a lot of booze involved) and we were discussing how my mom wasn't feeling very confident or beautiful anymore.
I told her she needed to embrace who she is and that she should be proud of her body and her looks (she is truly the most beautiful woman I've ever known), and the next thing we know she has stepped outside into the back garden, taken her t-shirt AND bra off and is streaking around the garden in a moment of madness. We live in an urban area, and our garden is overlooked by quite a few houses. She got her confidence back from that little outburst though, and the neighbors probably got quite a surprise. You do you, mom!
#34 She Was Unstoppable
I live near Tampa. Hurricane Irma had just came through and knocked a tree into our yard. My mom brings out the 20-inch chainsaw and goes to town on the tree. Now, this may seem normal right? Wrong. Mom was injured in February of 2004 from slipping on the ice when we lived in Illinois. She had a torn rotator cuff for 10 years, she injured her neck and lower back as well. She instantly got Fibromyalgia and nerve damage on the fall. To make matters worse, she acquired heart disease and diabetes.
So imagine a permanently disabled woman taking a 20-inch chainsaw to a 4-foot thick oak tree. Mom was the craziest, strongest person I'll ever know, and I'll love her forever. She passed this year on February 17th. She saved my life and I miss her dearly.
#35 She Decked A Seagull
When I was a kid, my mom took me and my little brother to a park for a picnic. I was eating a cookie when a seagull, like the idiots that they are, swooped down and tried to take it out to my hand. I didn't let go and it started to get aggressive with me.
That's when my mom came in with hands of maternal fury and decked the gull right in the head. He shrieked and flew off. To this day I've never seen anyone else get in a fistfight with a bird.
#36 She Sent Her Food Back
Probably sending back her food at Red Robin because it was served in a plastic basket. She said “I don’t want to eat out of a basket like a prisoner.” When they brought her her food on a plate she was incensed that it was the same food. She wanted them to make her a fresh burger because the first one was served in a basket. Could have also been the time she (successfully, somehow) returned a jar of mayonnaise WE HAD EATEN OUT OF FOR A WEEK because she found it cheaper somewhere else.
#37 She Got Re-Married
Got married.... 7 times.
#38 She Lost Her $%*^
Mother's Day 11 years ago my very petite mother decided to take my brother and I to Ross (local clothing store in a strip mall). We are pulling in and I guess she stayed at the stop sign a half a second too long so the guy behind us lays on his horn and starts flipping her off. She responds by driving at a turtles pace to make sure he was even more irritated until we actually pulled off to park.
Instead of moving along and just being angry the man decided to follow us into the parking spot and pull up so fast to my mom's door he almost hit it when she got out and started screaming in her face. Instead of being afraid she went full psycho mode pushed him backward and kicked four perfectly size 6 boot size dents into the side of his car while screaming some of the craziest things I've ever heard. After he fumbles his phone out to call the authorities we peel out and head home. I did not get to go to Ross.
#39 She Had A Breakdown
My mother painted our living room ceiling pink and then decided to paint herself from head to toe in the same pink paint. She ran around the house screaming, adamant that I wasn't her child. I was about five, it was the day after Christmas and it scared the heck out of me. This was the beginning of two days of a psychotic episode and a later diagnosis of schizophrenia. I was in care a lot after that.
#40 She Took On Three Thieves
One night after kayaking with my parents, we got home really late so we decided to leave the kayak strapped to the top of the Tahoe. In the middle of the night my dad creeps in my room and peaks out my window. I wake up and he hushes me. My mom comes in and goes “Come on.” They head downstairs and I hear my dad pick up the phone and start talking to the authorities.
I suddenly hear the front door slam open and my mom scream “DROP THAT EFFING KAYAK.” The woman is outside pointing and charging at three thieves cutting the kayak down.
I then hear my dad say to the officers: “Hold on a second” followed by “SANDY, WHAT THE EFF!”
The bad guys ran off and my mom remains the baddest mom in the world.
#41 She Microwaved Plants
My mother is a really enthusiastic gardener and she sometimes resorts to odd ways to solve her problems. The one that sticks out to me is when she was microwaving numerous flowerpots filled with soil in order to kill potential larvae residing in there. Most of the things she does seem weird at first but make somewhat sense once she explains it.
#42 She Lost Her Mind
Grab a broken toy out of a box full of perfectly good ones, take it to the counter and ask for a discount for it being broken, and proceeding to call the cashier profanities because she said she isn't allowed to discount the toy. I told my mom it was wrong and she grounded me for being wrong.
#43 She's Back
I was told my mother had passed at around four years old and then suddenly introduced to her, without warning, when I was 16.
Legend has it that she spent some of that time in a mental hospital. So while I didn't actually see it, that's pretty much the definition of crazy.
#44 She Gamed For Two Hours Straight
She sat down to play two hours of Tomb Raider on the PS1. No real reason besides just curiosity of what it was, and never want back to it. I got a lot of respect then, that a parent would take that much of an interest in their kid's hobbies. It doesn't take a lot of effort or time to get an idea, even if only small, of what younger generations are into. Not really that "crazy" but still not something I would ever expect.
#45 She Flipped Out On A Bear
When I was growing up there was a spring when a bear was coming around our yard and knocking over the bird feeder and eating the seed. He must have ruined like three feeders before my mother stopped buying new ones and started taping/gluing it back together. So one morning I'm sitting at the table with my mom having breakfast when she looks out at the feeder, then stands up and rips the slider door open, storms out onto the deck and starts screaming "HEY, GET OFF MY FEEDER!"
At this point, I peek around the corner and sure enough, there is the bear coming down off its back two legs looking very confused as to why its getting yelled at. The bear walks off into the woods and she comes back inside as if nothing happened. Me and my dad just look at each other and start laughing. My mother, one of the tamest and level headed people I know just flipped out on a BEAR and scared it off.