People Share Their Horrible ‘Never Again’ Story
“Sure, I’ll try it.”
Famous last words, right?
Trying new things is generally good. It’s how you find new TV shows, amazing food, and some of the best adventures our world has to offer.
But trying new things can be tricky. It can backfire. Acting impulsively can be extremely rewarding. It can also be risky. Failing to really think things through is how you get into pickles like ghost pepper challenges. It’s how you get stomach aches from eating an entire bag of chips. It’s how you find yourself in the middle of an accidental drive-by shooting (yep, that one’s in here).
Let’s turn to the people of the internet who have come together to talk about their “never again” moments. Some of these we can all relate with. Others are pretty out there. Check them out!
#35 It’s Lit?
I took one of those extremely spicy food challenges at a local restaurant and got a picture on their “Wall of Flame.” The food was delicious and I’d definitely do it again, except for the fact that the digestive system can’t handle nearly as much heat as my tongue. I spent the next 24 hours lying down trying not to move, to say nothing of trying to use the restroom.
#34 It Was Gross
A friend of my grandma complained about not having any help to clean her house. She was a sweet, well-put-together old lady in her 80s. On a whim, and to impress my grandma, I offered to come by and clean up her house for her. I planned three hours for windows, floors, to shampoo carpets, all that stuff. I showed up to an episode of Hoarders. I made it up to five giant bags of trash without it looking like anything had been done. I had to bail. I told the lady that I wanted to help, but that I thought she probably needed a professional.
#33 Not A-Peeling
I made mashed potatoes without peeling and cutting the potatoes first. There was a rotten core inside one or more of them that I didn’t notice until I started eating. I threw up and couldn’t eat mashed potatoes for a long time.
#32 A Prune Awakening
I’m an excessive snacker. I’ll finish a whole bag of chips within a few hours if you let me. I once ate a whole Costco-sized bag of prunes within an hour. I was living with my grandma at the time who upon discovering that her bag of prunes she just bought was missing, asked me where they went. I came clean and expected her to give me an hour-long lecture as she was prone to do. Instead, she gave me this smug look like she had the last laugh.
#31 Granny’s Revenge
So my grandmother used to have bowls of candy on every table in her house. One day I went over and the bowl on the coffee table was gummy bears. I love gummy candy. So I take my huge hands and take a big handful. It was probably half a pound of them. When she noticed half the bowl was gone, she asked if I ate it. I said yes. She informed me that they were fiber supplements and two bears was a day’s worth of fiber.
#30 One Last Dab
I was at a hot sauce store where they had samples of everything they had, including a concentrate that only took a couple of drops to flavor a whole pot of food. They let you try a drop on the tip of a toothpick after signing a waiver. On this particular day, the staff didn’t feel like controlling the concentrate and just had it sitting on the counter. Instead of just putting some on a toothpick, I grabbed one of the little spoons that were used for trying other sauces and filled it to the brim before eating it. The pain never subsided and got worse over the course of the night to the point that I went to the ER. The entire team laughed, said I would be fine, and tossed me some hydrocodone to ride out the pain. Since that day I haven’t touched anything remotely close to as spicy as what I used to eat.
#29 Wrong Answer
Had a sleepover at a friend’s house in high school. Was invited to attend church with him and his family. I said yes. Two hours of a fire and brimstone sermon with the preacher (o pastor or reverend, whatever) condemning everyone to hell and warning that Jesus is coming back he’s angry with our sinful ways.
#28 Its Un-Bearable
Accidentally getting bear spray on my hands and taking a pee about half an hour later. Turns out washing your hands with soap three times still won’t wash away the spray. Talk about fire crotch!
#27 Mayo-Need Some Help
When I was 7 years old, I ate an entire jar of mayonnaise with a spoon. Have NEVER been sicker.
#26 That’s The Spirit
I once had an interview across the country, so naturally, I fly Spirit to save money. Now, I was on a time crunch so I took the red eye out, did my interview, flew back the same day. Holy crap was that terrible. I had a canker sore so my mouth was perpetually dry. Spirit gives no water or anything. The seats don’t recline and my head goes over the rest so I can’t even sleep. And I had basically zero hours of sleep before the interview. I said I’d never do it again.
Flying Spirit again in a few months.
#25 Peaches ‘n Scream
I went down in the pantry of my grandma’s house and ate 45-year-old peaches from a jar. Did you know the human body is capable of pooping peaches in roughly the same consistency they were consumed? Me either.
#24 Curry’d Away
I ate my Aunt’s cooking for the first time last year, even though it was famously known in the family that she was a bad cook. I had no choice, I was staying with her and her family for two days and my tummy would give me away. Day one and it was lunch time, she made a Thai green curry. My first time having curry of any kind, so I attempted to plate up more rice instead of curry in caution. It was sour. Extremely sour, as if it was entirely made out of lime juice. The potatoes were still raw, as were the carrots. And the smell, my gosh the smell. The first bite made me tear up, not only because it was so bad, but because the sauce was so thin it absorbed into all the largely-uncooked rice. I was silently crying. I was hunched over the plate and pretended to rest my head in my left hand as my aunt and cousins sat in the room over. I couldn’t stop myself from making faces so I was trying to hide. I was also texting my Indian friend frantically asking if this is what curry is meant to be like and what I should do. I tried to shovel in the food and just swallow it. It worked for a minute before my body started to reject it. I couldn’t lift the spoon to my mouth anymore, my body didn’t want it. Every bite was a hesitation and struggle. I managed to eat half the plate after 30 minutes of sweating, weeping, and contemplating life and death over this stupid Thai green curry. Never again. EVER.
#23 The Real Cookie Monster
I will “never again” share my secrets on Reddit, there was a post on what our secrets are and if we would share them with our Redditors. Well, my secret was that I hide cookies under my bed. I checked in the middle of the day. My wife ate them all.
#22 Not So Tube-ular
I basically almost died trying to tube on the Salt River. Never again.
#21 Guy Code
I decided to become one of my best friend’s employees.
I hadn’t realized how messed up he really was. He praised me over the tops after the first month, then “found out” about two weeks later that I was utterly useless. He was extremely critical about tiny details but completely overlooked larger issues. He also used to take planes to some Eastern country to go be with some timid blonde girls who wanted to marry him in the midst of critical client negotiations. A friendship lost, six weeks spent in agony and depression, work stress and alcohol, and after it all ended, I had to find me a new job, and had lost a good friend. Never again. Strict separation of friendships and work relations!
#20 IPoppy 7
A couple of years ago in high school, I thought it would be funny to have Siri call me “Papi Chulo” as a joke (Siri took it as poppy Chulo, sounded the same). I didn’t use Siri often and only brought that up as a joke with my friends. Some time passed where I completely forgot that that was my name on my phone, and one day in class we were doing one of those exercises where you get up and stand on one side of the room if you agree/disagree on a prompt, and then discuss why. Well, I got up to the respective side of the room along with some other students and was asked to elaborate on why I participated. As I began talking, being the center of attention, I leaned onto a desk, triggering Siri in my pocket, and the next thing I know, everyone hears “Sorry, I couldn’t hear that Poppy Chulo” and literally everyone there laughed, including the teacher. I shrugged it off but was so embarrassed that I’ll never have my phone call me something dumb again.
#19 Arranged Marriage?
Never again will I trust my parents’ opinion on who I should marry. And also, at age 15, I vowed never again to make promises.
#18 Sweet Pea
I and a friend once went to the store to buy some sugar peas to eat outside on a bench in the city center. The sun was out, the weather was nice, everything pointed towards a great setting. As we started eating away (we bought two packs) one of our other friends appeared. She saw that we were eating sugar peas and asked if she could have some. Sure she could. And while we were munching away she opened the sugar pea she got. She said that she knew it was a little weird because you’re just supposed to eat them like that, but she liked to do that anyway. Regardless, the first one she got had some web inside it and some small larvae. Yuck, so she asked for one more, same result, and a third one too with the same result again. My friend and I started to decline in munching speed after that and slowly came to the conclusion that we had been eating larvae and web all along without knowing. Never ate sugar peas again.
#17 Time Warp
Got sucked into a timeshare presentation. Wasted easily six hours of a day during a weekend trip with my then-girlfriend (now wife). “Needed to attend to get a free pass to the water park.” Well, we only had one hour after that to enjoy the water park. Never again with those people (or timeshares), they’re slimier than a used car salesman.
#16 Boat Trip
I went on a cruise once. I was not seasick in the traditional meaning of the word. I was not nauseated. I did, however, get vertigo, which essentially means I’d be walking down the hall and suddenly fall over for no reason. The only time I was okay was the night it stormed; the ship finally started moving enough that it was apparent it was moving and my body compensated for it. I actually do really well on small boats, even in rough waters, from growing up on canoes and fishing boats. Of course, that was the night everyone else was vomiting, so while I was fine, no one else could do anything. Worst “vacation” I’ve ever had.
#15 Drive-Thru Drive-By
Threw a milkshake outside a window and accidentally hit a car. I then got shot at FOUR times right after. All bullets missed. Never littered again.
#14 The Real Fort-Night
I went to a fort and it was a haunted place. I was walking with full courage, was watching each and everything in the fort with curiosity, touching walls and paintings made on the walls, but then suddenly I realized someone touched me from the back. I was so afraid and ran away. I will never ever visit that place again.
#13 Once Upon A Time In Mexico
I’m an Uber driver in Mexico. Last Saturday, I was working on a night shift and at the end of my turn I was very tired but got a client that needed to be on the exit of the city so I took it because I really need the money (it was like $30 dollars for the ride). I ended up doing the ride and on my way back my tire exploded and I had to change it on a very lonely highway in Mexico at 3 a.m. and had to spend the money earned on a new tire. I will never do another ride so late at night and that far.
#12 Baaad Taste
This isn’t as extreme as other people, but I’ll never eat sheep tongue again, probably. It’s like a delicacy where my family is from so we’d prepare dishes, rarely, but we still eat them. At least, they do. I never did because I tried it once as a kid, thought it was disgusting, and vowed never again. Then, a couple of years ago, we cooked some tongues and everyone was eating and I thought “Hey, let me try some again.” At this point, I hadn’t eaten it in a decade and my taste had changed since then so I thought that it might not be this bad. But no. One bite in and I regretted it immediately. I should’ve listened to my younger self. Never again.
#11 Longest Ride Ever
Going to Texas. Two days on a Greyhound, my luggage never transferred buses on the last leg, corrupt as heck station master sold lost luggage instead of sending it to lost and found, friend I was supposed to stay with for a few weeks flaked out on me, stayed with another friend for a week and drove back home with her and two cats that were supposed to debark in Nashville (she was transporting them for a rescue) but ended up going to Connecticut with us. No litter box because it was supposed to be a short ride. Drove straight through, no sleep, and came home to find out my dog had died while I was gone. God punished me for going to Texas. I’m not sure I believe in God, but I surely believed I was being punished. Never again.
#10 Foreign Hustle
Had to go to the U.S. for a study trip during masters. Everything but air tickets were paid for by the school. Didn’t have much money, so I bought very cheap tickets for 300 euro, Wow Air (Icelandic airline). Came back and had a 16-hour stop-over. Decided to explore Reykjavik. Couldn’t go as the last bus had left. Wanted to sleep at the airport and the guards came to wake us up and show us “no sleeping” signs on the board. I realize they do this so we buy hotel rooms and help the surrounding businesses. Then I get an email that the flight is full and the next one is 16 hours later. Nope, won’t do again. Won’t travel if I don’t have money.
Never going on dates with multiple people at the same time. By this, I mean talking to various girls I’ve met off Tinder, dating them all whilst going on dates with the others. I’ve been doing it recently because I’ve tried to plug a gap that is left there by my ex. I still love her and I thought all this would help. It doesn’t, I just blocked out my feelings and only now, five months after I broke up with her, am I dealing with it. It hurts.
#8 Lost & Found
I was 3-years-old and went to a supermarket with my mom. At the entrance of the store you had these cars that you fit your kid in; throw in a coin and the car starts moving around. I was in one of these while my mom bought stuff. After a while, I saw my mom, looked away, looked again, and she was gone. I looked around and saw someone with the same clothes as my mother. I ran up to her screaming “MOMMY!” Too late I discovered it was an old lady with the same clothes while my mother was on the other side of the store. So while I ran back crying the whole supermarket laughed at me. Since then, every time I lose, for example, a friend at an event with tons of people, I think back, say “never again,” and start looking at FACES instead of clothes. Amen.
#7 Not The Milky Way
I once drank half a liter of four-days-old milk before my brain went “this is… odd.” I was so close to just vomiting it all over the kitchen, but instead, I dry-heaved for a good 10 minutes. Now I always double check the date on the milk.
I went to a buffet. I try to get my money’s worth. I throw up in the parking lot. I “never again.” Until I did it again.
#5 Afraid Of Heights?
Fear of heights, went parasailing, ended up 300 feet above sea level with nothing but flimsy plastic, rope, and some fast-moving metal and plastic keeping me from falling. Never again.
#4 30 Minutes Or Less
I used to deliver pizza for a place that was open until 5 a.m. I had Monday and Sunday, on which we would close at 1 a.m. Once I got asked to cover a Friday night shift and I took it. I had deliveries until 3 a.m., most of them drunk college kids that give little to no tip. On top of that, one guy told me I wasn’t allowed to deliver to him again all because I had to call him to find his house in the pitch black. Closing by no means meant you could go home at 5 a.m. The store was packed with people until close and they left a huge mess that I had to clean up. I didn’t get home until 6 a.m. I do not work there anymore. Never again.
#3 Wrong Number
One time I called a number back and a tough-sounding guy answered saying this line was the FBI. That was the day I never called numbers back.
#2 Game Over
I will “never again” buy a day one release of an early access video game. No story needed, I think we all know why.
#1 Thinking Out Loud
Listened to Ed Sheeran for 20 seconds. Never again.