Comedian Jerry Seinfeld once said that dating is "all pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?" While some people are particularly gifted at picking up on those subtle hints that indicate if he or she is into you, it seems like others could be hit in the face with a frying pan of clues and still just not get it.
The community on Reddit was faced with a simple question: “Ladies, what is the most obvious hint you've dropped that went unnoticed by a guy?’" Plenty of gals (and clueless guys who either realized their mistake later or were clued in by a patient woman) had hilarious stories to share of the times that signals got crossed, lost, dropped or misread.
Perhaps there is something to the suggestion that men are from Mars and women are from Venus...
Don't forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!
#52 Dry Cleaning Is Expensive
Early interaction with my boyfriend-
Me: "That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor."
Him: "That would wrinkle the suit."
#51 At Least He Got An 'A'
I look back on it now and see how I totally missed the hint. In college, a girl in my class came over to study and when it got late she ended up wanting to stay. I had a couch in my room and said she could sleep on the couch. When I was getting ready for bed...
Her: "I usually have a hard time falling asleep. Do you want to lay down together and watch Netflix with me?"
Me: "Nah, I got a test tomorrow"
But hey, I got an A on that stinking test.
Christina if you're out there, I'm not gay, I'm just oblivious to hints.
#50 Do You Need A Written Invitation?
He asked if I had a boyfriend and said he was nervous to try to start something with me. I explicitly said no I don't and you shouldn't be. Yet he does nothing. Eventually 4 months later we end up going out, and we're still happily together now!
#49 Bless His Heart
My then-not-boyfriend and I were waiting at the train station on my train home; he would leave with the bus after it arrived. My train came and I thought 'screw it' and kissed my then-not-boyfriend on the mouth. Immediately after, I jumped on the train, on which the doors then closed. I didn't see his reaction nor felt it so I sat pretty anxious on the train, thinking I'd ruined it all. About 5 minutes later, I got a text saying:
"That was meant as a friends kiss, right?"
Lol, bless his heart.
#48 Last One In's A Rotten Egg
Last summer I was doing my best to seduce who is my current boyfriend. We were going swimming at a friend's house, and while they were changing into their bathing suits in the house, he and I make our way to the pool.
I take advantage of this moment to strip in front of him, as sensual as possible (my bathing suit was underneath my clothes).
He runs past me, full sprint, and cannonballs into the pool.
#47 Up High!
I put out my hand for him to hold and he high fived me.
#46 Signal Fail
Geesh... in middle school my best friend and I watched Scrubs all the time. We'd do a Todd high five in the hallways whenever we'd see each other, and one time the girl I had a crush on put up her hand like she wanted a five, so I smacked her hand as hard as I could and snapped... turns out she was waving to her friend behind me.
#45 Um, Hello?
Me: So you're saying, if I like this guy, I should just be straightforward and ask him out?
Him: Ya
Me: Ok, do you want to go out with me this Friday?
Him: Ya, just like that, it was perfect.
Me: ...
#44 Such A Gentleman
I love to share this one: A long time before my husband and I started dating we were partying in my apartment. He said he was going to crash on the couch. I told him "You can come sleep in my bed". I kid you not he said, "Well where would you sleep? I can't kick you out of your bed."
YouTube
#43 Crawling Out Of Friendzone
Back when my boyfriend and I were "just friends", there was a night I spent at his apartment after hanging out together all day. I was going to sleep on the couch, but I managed to talk my way into his bedroom.
To get myself into his room, I think I said his roommates or his neighbors were too loud. He got back up to get me a pillow and a blanket so I could sleep on his floor. I had taken off my bra and had asked to borrow his sweater at this point. After a while, I joked that he was hogging all the blankets up in his bed. He finally invited me up.
So then I said I couldn't sleep, and suggested we stay up together to watch a movie... and you know, chill.
I had just read that Jurassic Park was a good date movie, so I suggested we watch it on his phone (without mentioning the date movie part. I was beyond nervous at this point.
So we're in his bed, he's holding the phone above our eyes, and I decide to lean on his shoulder and slowly begin the process of inching closer to him. We laid there all night, curled up yet barely touching, neither of us breaking the spell for so much as a peck on the cheek. We fell asleep.
He wouldn't end up asking me out until more than 5 months later. We re-enacted this scene on a hotel bed after sneaking up a bottle of red from his office Christmas party. This time, I decided to stop being so shy. After a few sips, I finally felt brave. I looked up into his eyes and kissed him.
We've been together ever since, and we're moving in together in a few weeks.
#42 Must Have Coffee
Halloween morning 2014, he knocked on my door to drive me to work. We had been friends for a month and he wouldn't make a move, so I answered the door in a T-shirt and cat ears and absolutely nothing else; that jerk walked right past me and looked for coffee in the kitchen.
We've been married 10 months now!
He claims he totally knew my intentions but knew being a gentleman would get him farther, I say he's full of it.
#41 Just Can't Take A Hint
This girl was sitting with our group of boys and saying, "If I was to get with one of you, it would be you [my name]! I was just like "Ah thanks very much, very kind of you to say that".
If only I knew.
#40 He Won't Be A Third Wheel
Back in college, my now significant other of 4 years would walk me home from class at night. I finally mustered up the courage to ask him to "come upstairs and have a drink with me". Hard no. Ok, he's not into it.
Two months later, he invites me and my friends to a party. He's more than a lot tipsy when we show up, and tells my friend that he's in love with me and that he drank so much because he was nervous about seeing me. She convinces him to tell me, knowing that I was also into him.
Curveball: Told me that he was really into me, but didn't want to mess up my relationship. Uhrm.. what relationship? Ya know, that guy from our class that you always talk to and giggle with. Uh... Matt? As in Matt with the boyfriend, Matt? ...Oh, well that strangely explains a lot.
#39 Just Be Super Obvious
This actually happened to me:
Her: Guys are terrible at picking up on hints.
Me: Tell me about it, we're useless at it. What you need to do is be super obvious, like grab his hand and drag him into you.
Her: Like this? (She grabs my hand and starts dragging me away).
Me: Ha! Exactly like that, that'll definitely work. Bye!
It only clicked to me two days later but I was in already in the cold-shoulder zone by then.
#38 Creepy Eyeball Shot
I was hitting on my now boyfriend of three years. I was complimenting him on how handsome he was and how he had beautiful eyes. I told him I wanted a closer view of them so he texted me this really creepy shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible. He legitimately thought that's what I wanted. After our first date, I immediately started talking about potential future dates and how much fun I had with him. I stayed out so late that I missed my best friend's party. However, because I didn't hug him properly and asked to split the cost of the meal, he thought I wasn't actually interested.
#37 It's Not About Saving Money
I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink.
His response? "Why? We don't pay for water."
... Ouch.
#36 That Must Have Been Some Movie
I was the guy.
Her: Let's hang out after school, nobody is going to be at my house.
Me: Ok cool.
Drive her home and hang out with her.
Her: Hey I have a finished attic I like to hang out in and watch movies.
Me: Ok cool.
Go in the attic where a couch, sheets on the floor, and a TV on a stand are chilling. Turn on some random movie and she proceeds to cuddle on me.
Her: So what do you want to do?
Me: I don't know? random chatter about movie
Her: My last boyfriend couldn't last more than 2 minutes with me. No guy has actually.
Me: Oh I could do better than that.
Her: Oh yeah? ;)
Me: random chatter about movie
This is not a fire drill folks, this actually happened. She ghosted me pretty hard after that and I didn't really understand why until years later when I critically thought about that situation.
#35 It Took Years?
When I was in senior in high school during prom season, there was this girl in most of the classes I was attending. We were good friends, had a lot in common, and were both the top of our classes. I also happened to think that she was very cute. One day she and her friend approach me during lunch.
Girl: Hey, don't you wanna ask me something?
[Raises eyebrows]
Me: I don't know, what?
[She and her friend gives each other a look]
Girl: Are you going to prom?
Me: I'm not sure, I don't have anyone to go with.
End scene.
I didn't get the hint until years after. But I did end up going to prom with the fellas. I'm a fool.
#34 Baseball Vs. Baths
We were married for two full years before I finally understood that if she took a bath at night, I was going to get some.
I watched a lot of baseball while she lay sparkling clean in bed alone.
Doh!
#33 That's A Dumb Rule
I was staying the night at a female friend's house. I had a huge crush on her and it was the first night sleeping in the same bed.
Her: Just so you know, jeans aren't allowed in my bed. You have to take them off.
Me: Hahaha that's a dumb rule. *Keeps them on*
That one still stings.
#32 That's Nice
I was sleeping over at a friend's after a party when the pretty girl I had been talking to all night suggested we sleep on the pull out couch together so neither of us had to take the floor.
We lay down:
Her: "You have great lips."
Me: "That's really nice, thanks." *Rolls over and goes to bed.*
#31 The 64 Version Is Better
We were playing Super Smash Bros on Nintendo Wii together.
Her: Maybe we can play some real smash later..! *winks*
Me: You mean like the Nintendo 64 version?
Not my proudest moment.
#30 No Nintendo, Nothing Else To Do
A girl I was interested in (we're now married for almost 20 years) took me to the pharmacy to fill a prescription of birth control pills, then says to me that she's house sitting for one of her parent's friends and we could go there tonight if I wanted. I said, "And do what?" To which she replied, "Anything that you want." To which I replied, "Do they have a Nintendo?".
They didn't have a Nintendo, so I didn't go over and hang out.
She still brings it up to this day.
YouTube
#29 Sweet Set Up Man
Not a lady, but a girl once asked me ”so where are you sleeping tonight?", and I was just like "at home, I live five minutes away so that's pretty sweet". And it was pretty sweet until the day after when my friend told me that I’m stupid.
#28 Don't Like Texting
Guy here. A girl I like (whose number I don't have) recently asked if I like texting. I replied, "not really".
#27 What's The Secret?
Once a guy complimented me on my perfume and said something like, "you smell nice, is it Victoria's Secret?" And I said, "It's not from Victoria's Secret, but I have something from Victoria's Secret I can show you instead," he said, "what?" Like not a sexy "what?" Like a genuinely confused one.
deleted
#26 The Tattoo
I was flirting with this boy I had just met at work. We were texting and I told him I had just gotten a new tattoo. He asked me where, and I said, "you'll need to come to find it sometime later this week." His response: "why can't you just tell me where it is?"
deleted
#25 Flasher
I once flashed a guy in high school and he said: "those look weird."
deleted
#24 Teach A Man How To Cuddle
My current boyfriend and I started out in this weird friends that flirt stage. I was trying to find a way to get him to make a move. One very hot evening (middle of August) we were sitting in his backyard with a few of our friends having some drinks. I sat on the SAME lawn chair as him, kind of wiggled in, and said, "I'm cold".
He left me alone in the chair and proceeded to build a giant fire. It took like an hour. When he was finished making the fire he sat back down in a DIFFERENT lawn chair.
#23 Take A Hint
My husband went to a party at a friends house. The hostess asked if he wanted to see her lingerie collection, then said he should come sit on her bed with him. He said no thanks and chilled with his buddy before coming home and telling me all about it. He didn't believe me when I said that she wanted him. This lady has tried to sabotage our relationship and failed miserably because he can't take a hint. I found this hilarious.
#22 What A Knob
Me: I think you're really cute and I like you. A lot.
Him:... uh, thanks.
Accepting this unrequited crush, I decided I was happy being friends with him.
However, 3 months down the line he spent hours comforting me after a disastrous night and then finally confessed he had feelings for me, going back 6 months. When I asked why he didn't say anything when I told him my feelings "but I wasn't sure you liked me"
That was 4 years ago, he's still as cute and dense now, and is fast asleep next to me.
#21 Snuggle Please?
Before our third date, she said I could stay over at her place if it got late. So we're watching a movie on TV there, and at the end of it, I said "I guess I better let you head off to bed. I'll take the couch."
She literally had to say "I was hoping we could snuggle" before I got the hint.
Deleted
#20 Beach Bums
We were leaving the beach, and I decided to try the change the suit under the towel trick. Keeping eye contact, I told him if I messed up and flashed him, I hope he likes what he sees. He promptly turned around to give me privacy.
#19 Garlic
"I''m going regret this garlic if we kiss later."
We didn't kiss later.
Deleted
#18 "You"
Ok. At 17 I met this girl and she said come over. Let's hang out. It's 2 am. We hang out near her house. And at 3 am, she's like, "Let's go upstairs and have some coffee."
I said "no. I'm good. I'm tired. This was fun. Let's do it again ok?" And just left. She never responded to me again.
#17 Not The Winning Streak!
My wife started to slowly pull my shorts down as I'm playing video games. I tell her that she's going to ruin my winning streak. I got punched in my privates that day.
#16 Nighty Night
We were laying in bed together, making out, and I took off my shirt. And my bra. And my pants. "I'm taking these off. They're so uncomfortable!"
He said, "Oh, okay. Well, good night!" and rolled over and went to sleep.
#15 Undies
I changed my underwear in front of him and he still had no idea what to do.
#14 Take A Break
Before my husband and I started dating, we worked at the same grocery store. One day I worked up the nerve to ask him if he wanted to take lunch with me. He said, "Yeah, no." I walked away feeling rejected. He later realized I was asking him to take a lunch break with me, and not asking him if it was time for him to take his break.
#13 One For The Ladies
As a guy, here's a hint to the ladies: if it's a hint, it's too subtle.
#12 Send Pics
I sent him a daring text saying, "Send Pics!", except, you know, a little more naughty.
He didn’t.
#11 One For The Ladies
Me: "Want to see a movie with me?"
Him: "Sure! Who else is going?"
Worst part: Several months later, after we finally got together, he told me that he wished I had asked him to that movie as a date.
#10 Still No Idea
This was a hint that a girl dropped on me, I think. We were hanging out by the ocean, sitting on a park bench, when she put her leg on top of mine, hiked up her dress to show me her thigh tattoo. Then she put my hand on her leg. I didn't react at all. I think I just short-circuited. But afterward, while I was walking her back, she kept asking me where my place was because I live close to there.
I still don't know...was she hitting on me?
#9 Young And Naive
When I was a kid I had a crush on my friend Frankie who I knew also had a crush on me but we were both 12 and shy. I found a form-fitting shirt that said "Frankie's firecracker" on the back and would wear it to hang out with him all the time, he never noticed the shirt.
#8 Get A Scoop
I kept trying to get this guy I knew to come over for some ice cream. I bought two pints and we had been talking and snapping and he LOVES ice cream. I would try and get him to take one since I only bought two because of a BOGO offer. I brought it up a few times, whenever he was in my area, I would tell him to come over and pick up some ice cream.
He never got it. Ugh.
#7 He Had No Idea
In high school, I was popular but never dated anyone. I always thought no one really liked me that much so I'd talk to all the girls in my class and would be generally nice to them. The last week of school I had so many girls ask me why I never asked them out. I was really confused and would respond with, "I didn't realize you were interested."
Deleted
YouTube
#6 Ultimate Regret
The first guy I was ever into, we go to his place and I lay my head in his lap. 30 minutes go by, no move yet. So, I take it upon myself to say "I'd like it if you kissed me now." He looked surprised but in a good way, or so I thought.
He laughs and said good joke.
Deleted
#5 Malfunction
I fixed this hot girl's computer in the dorm. She said, "wow it would be handy to have you around I should get your number" to which I replied, "yeah, it probably would." I was annoyed because I didn't want to do more tech support for people. It only took me half a day to realize that she was asking for more than just tech support.
Deleted
#4 Can She Be More Obvious
I put my hand on his crotch through his pants and he still wasn't sure if I was into him.
#3 Netflix And Bail
We were texting.
Me: Ugh I'm so tired I just want to chill and watch Netflix
Him: Aww… what are you going to watch?
Me: I don’t know, you should come over and help me choose
Him: I think Netflix recommends movies based on your past choices
#2 Ouch
Texted him "we should make out" and he didn't respond.
#1 Boring
I told him I was home alone for the weekend because my parents had gone away and that I was scared. I told him to come and hang out with me to keep me distracted.
His reply was, "lol that sounds boring."
