Ever been to a wedding where it was clear that the couple wasn’t a good match for each other? These wedding photographers have seen their fair share of red flags that the marriage wasn’t going to last long and took to Reddit to share some of the worst ones. If only someone had spoken up during the objections.
1. Mic Drop
The ceremony was beautiful and the couple looked so happy. Then it all fell apart in an instant. At the start of the Best Man's speech, he asked the guests to look under their tables, dropped the mic, and promptly walked out of the venue. Under the tables were photos of one of the other groomsmen sleeping with the bride on the hood of his car, apparently taken days before the wedding.
As you might expect, the event quickly descended into an absolute disaster from that moment on. I had to load my gear out a window in the kitchen to avoid the ongoing brawling and chaos at the front entrance.
2. Take Two
The wedding was on a golf course. The bride had a vision she wanted of her husband driving up on a golf cart to see her for a first look.
He got one look at her from the top of the hill and vaulted the cart, ran down the hill, picked her up, and twirled her around to tell her how gorgeous she was. We caught it all. It was the best first look ever. But what the bride did next was awful.
Once he set her down, she straightened herself and looked back to us. “Okay, I don’t want that. Let’s do the golf cart now”. And she sent him back up to do it again.
3. Bridal Shower
My mother was a wedding photographer till I was about 18-19 and I helped out on many of them. The one that stands out the most was when we were at a campsite where both the wedding and reception were being held.
About halfway through the reception, I heard the groom start laughing maniacally. I peeked over his way—and gasped in horror. I could see two groomsmen hauling the thrashing and screaming bride toward the lake. They threw her into the freezing cold water with her veil and dress still on.
When she got out of the water I genuinely thought she might shoot somebody. Saying she looked like a drowned rat would have been an insult to rats. Her hair and makeup and probably the dress were ruined beyond repair. The fact that the groom laughed and didn’t do anything stuck with me as being a gross move even as a teen.
Apparently, she thought so too because I later found out that they didn’t even make it six months.
The bride was such a monumental tool, her mom gave me a $500 tip for not walking out on the event when she was treating everyone (even her now husband) like a piece of dirt employee.
She did the whole clicking fingers thing when wanting someone to do something for her, and she berated the DJ for grabbing a sandwich when he'd been there for about eight hours and was told that he should've brought his own lunch and she would be taking the cost of the food (like an open buffet style) out of his paycheck.
They were divorced within three years, but not before having three kids that have stupid names.
5. Just Keep Swimming
This was around 2009. On the second day of the wedding, a nightmare ensued. The bride went swimming in the ocean. It took place in Tenerife. She swam out too far and was basically ‘lost at sea’ for nine hours or so.
She eventually found her way back but was in bad shape. Everyone panicked the whole day and thought she drowned. By the time she got back, she wished she had. Her husband found her phone and read a bunch of messages supposedly from her aunt.
But it was quickly clear from the naughty content, it wasn’t her aunt at all. She had been having an affair with the best man for years, apparently. They got an annulment shortly after. $60,000 down the drain—one of the most opulent weddings I’ve ever been to.
6. Check It Out
I'm a videographer and the groom called me a couple of days after the wedding. I've never rolled my eyes so hard. He wanted me to make sure I didn't include any footage of him checking out the women at the wedding.
7. Never Enough
I've photographed a few weddings but this comes from a time my friend bought his girlfriend a ring for Christmas. It was obviously an engagement ring. But she claimed it was just a Christmas gift. My friend agreed. We all knew he was lying.
A year later, they become engaged. She insists on a location wedding. She wants to fly off and get married on a tropical island. My friend profusely apologizes to me and tells me he wanted me as the best man, but she wants her best friend's husband as the best man. I don't go to the wedding.
The bachelor party took place after their honeymoon. We were all drinking and having a good time. He tells me that the ring from Christmas was his first engagement ring to her, but it wasn't good enough. She was just a showy girl and needed a bigger rock. He spent twice as much on the second ring.
It's been three years since that bachelor party. They have been divorced for a year. She's now pregnant by a man as old as her father.
8. A Mutual Arrangement
While filming the wedding video, I attached a microphone to the groom for audio and proceeded to prepare for the ceremony. Just as I was about to adjust my audio settings, the groom stepped into another room with a friend. As I put on my headphones, I overheard something that made my jaw drop.
The groom confided in his friend, describing the wedding as a "wedding of convenience" and reassuring them not to be concerned about what would happen in their relationship.
9. Take Some Weight Off
I did a wedding for an acquaintance and her husband. The day goes great, I’m really happy with almost everything I took, everyone was feeling it and having fun. But, (and this is one of the reasons I quit photography) the bride sees some of the photos I had sent her, and immediately calls me.
“I need you to do the editing magic and make me look skinny, John was saying I was going to look too fat in my dress and wanted me to lose weight but I knew you could just edit it, so haha I didn’t”. So I have to explain (this is like 2010) I can only Photoshop so much.
I can make you look a tad slimmer in certain photos without making it noticeable. But I can’t do it to all of them, and if I was to, the editing would be noticeable, and I will have to charge you a lot of money to edit you in all the photos.
She tried to convince me to edit hundreds of photos for a couple hundred bucks, and I have other jobs going and had given them a great deal already so explained I couldn’t. So she insisted I do at least some of her main pics, I told her when people see the rest of the pics they will see the difference. She didn’t care and continued to insist.
So I do the photos, and a couple of weeks later when I thought it was all done, she calls me and leaves me a voicemail about how I ruined her wedding, her new husband is upset at how she looks in the pics and keeps making remarks about her weight. So it didn't seem like they were in a great place from the get-go.
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10. A Match Made In Heaven
I went to one of the most awkward best-man speeches ever. The couple are still very much together, but the best man ruined their wedding. These are the stories he told: that the bride had cheated on her ex-husband with her new husband (that wasn’t broadly known), that the husband took a dump in the backyard because he needed to.
He also told countless stories of the husband being a horrible person as a late teen. Like ordering multiple soft serves from Mcdonald's and then throwing them at the poor girls that served them. The only thing that wasn’t shared was that the husband had slept with the bride's sister a year or two before he had hooked up with her, an untold story to this day.
He went for a solid 10 minutes. The bride was holding back tears. Utter muppets doing that speech.
11. Face Morph
I’m a wedding photographer from India. This is my most memorable story.
The bride's mom dissed the groom to a couple of our photographers. She believed that her daughter was too beautiful for the guy they promised her hand to and that she'd rather have him pass sooner than see him with her daughter.
The bride and the groom had the first dinner separately because the bride wasn't just in the mood to have their reception dinner together. This one is the final nail in the coffin.
After the wedding when we were about to photograph portraits of the couple, the groom walked up to us saying that he was too tired from the wedding, so it'd be better if we could use the photos from the previous weddings we photographed and morph his face on to those and walked away.
They divorced three months later.
12. Still On The Market
I went to a wedding for a girl who used to be a friend with benefits. We sort of faded into friendship. The wedding was amazing. She went all out. But there were 18 bridesmaids/groomsmen.
The groom picked his guys' outfits (all letterman jackets and jeans in a country where our high schools/colleges don't do that). The bride had the bridesmaids all in shabby, short-skirted versions of her wedding dress and Sketchers shoes. Honestly, it looked alright.
The wedding photos with the bridesmaids and groomsmen looked fun, like a flash mob in a movie; well choreographed and rehearsed clearly. BUT, here's the awful truth.
In all the pictures of the groom, he was always on his phone, scrolling or texting. Even in the wedding cake photos, he has his phone in one hand behind his back, fully in view. What was so important on his wedding day? Well, he was checking dating sites. The whole. fricking. day. Everyone except the bride seemed to know.
They lasted six months.
13. Bros Before Brides
This was my wedding. He ignored me most of the reception and I had to drag him onto the dance floor, but even then he only gave me a single song. I kept going around the wedding looking for him, and when I'd find him he'd be in the middle of a conversation and I'd have to just stand quietly behind him because he wouldn't fill me in on what they were talking about.
At the end of the wedding, we had a send-off moment where everyone made an arm tunnel for us and cheered us on our way to the elevator. It was cute, but I felt his hand slip out of mine and I turned around at the door to the elevator to see that he'd stopped a few feet back to talk to his friends some more.
I looped my arm through his—yet again, he didn't include me in their conversation—and stood there awkwardly rubbing his arm to try to get his attention. When I finally managed to get his attention,, I think I cracked a joke to the whole group "We have to go consummate the marriage or it isn't official, see y'all at the afterparty!"
He raised his voice at me, saying that I was tearing him away from his friends. He had spent all day and night with his friends! I just wanted to take a turn! It was the most pathetic version of myself I've ever been. We lasted four years.
14. Oh, Brother
This was 15 years ago or so. It was so bad—I left wedding photography a few months later. The reception was at their home, they didn't want photos at the ceremony and didn't want wedding party/family photos between the ceremony and reception, triggering the first raise of an eyebrow on my end.
At the reception, the groom didn't want his brother, the best man, in the photos. The other eyebrow goes up. The mothers of both the bride and groom both scolded me to let them be and told me to eat instead of taking photos.
The groom and the best man got completely plastered and did a weird play-by-play of the brother making way too many toasts and the groom making grossly inappropriate speeches about what he's going to do to the bride on the honeymoon.
As the newlyweds were making their grand departure the bride tosses the bouquet, and everyone cheers. The groom shouts, "I knocked her up so hard she's got two babies in the oven". The guests react in various ways of shock and happiness about the pregnancy test—but the best man does the unthinkable.
He lunges at the groom, shouting and swearing. The family holds the best man back as the couple runs out to a car. The groom flips off the spectators and pulled out of the driveway. Two houses down, the car stops, the groom gets out and pukes on a neighbor's lawn, the bride gets in the driver's seat and takes off, leaving her husband yacking into a flower bed, and the best man ran down the street trying to flag down the car.
They divorced four months later.
15. “My Eyes Are Down Here”
I have so many stories to choose from. This one immediately comes to mind: The groom would not make any eye contact with the bride. There were so many photos where she is gazing lovingly at him, and he’s just like, 10-yard stare, right over the top of her head. That was a tough edit.
Then the groom’s speech included a line about how opposite he is from his bride because “her friends have never even been to Paris". WHAT??
16. Catch You Later
I went to a weird wedding. It was my wife's high school best friend's wedding. My wife's friend in my opinion is a wonderful person, very caring and smart but suffers from a bad inferiority complex.
She did the online dating thing for a while and dated this stereotypical rich dude from a WASPy family (he was a corporate lawyer). He absolutely did not mesh personality-wise with her. I forgot to mention my wife's friend also came from a very well-off family, but she never flaunted it or fit any of the stereotypes of a rich person.
So they end up getting engaged and every time we hung out as a group, I would struggle to find topics to talk with the guy about because all he wanted to discuss was baseball and the stock markets, two topics I couldn't care less about.
So, at the wedding, which was held at this very fancy venue in our city, they did the obligatory religious ceremony, walked around together, and thanked people. But once the reception was going on, the groom did his bride dirty. He literally hung out with his frat brothers the whole time.
My wife's friend pretty much stayed glued to my wife and her other friends and they danced all night. The only time the groom peeled away was to do the first dance thing together and then he literally went back to bro-ing it up with his friends.
I even pointed this out to my wife during the reception and my wife tried to steer her friend to her friend's now-husband, but he would see them approaching and yell out he needed to grab some drinks for the guys and disappeared. This is the worst part.
At the end of the wedding, the expectation is they would leave together, right? Nope, the groom said he and the guys were going to go out around town so he could say a final goodbye and he will meet his wife at the hotel later. I was completely blown away at what a horrible match he was.
17. Mr. Wrong
When my best friend got engaged, I begged her not to marry him, even up until the night before, but she insisted it was what she wanted. I think she thought she'd never be able to do better, which is NOT true.
I spent the whole wedding weekend sneaking off to go sit in my car and cry on the phone to my mom. Since I knew she wasn't going to be happy, I tried to at least make her wedding day happy, but even that was difficult with him stomping around, spewing nastiness at her.
I remember literally standing guard outside the bridal changing suite at the venue before the ceremony, stopping him from throwing her out so that he could change. It was the bridal suite, she was already in her dress and having a nice moment with her mom and sister, and her dad paid for the venue. I made him go change in the bathroom.
The photographer got a photo of me standing in front of the door looking annoyed. My friend thinks it's funny, but I could still cry, thinking about it. It's been six years, and she still won't leave him, even though he's awful to her
18. Paid For
When I worked as a wedding planner for a hotel chain, the groom found out his bride was having an affair with her brother's best mate. The bride's mother knew about it but insisted on the wedding and paid a fortune.
The groom wasn’t drinking much and at the speeches, stood up and revealed he knew and said he was getting an annulment. He got the best revenge though. He then took his best man on his honeymoon—the honeymoon the bride's parents had paid for.
19. Are You Sure About That?
At the rehearsal, the groom refused to sit next to the bride and insisted on sitting next to his female best friend. The priest said, "Don't you want to sit next to your soon-to-be wife?" Kind of chuckling like the groom had just not gotten around to sitting next to her yet.
He says, "I have the rest of my life to sit next to her". The gasp from both sides of the family was AUDIBLE. Everyone was horrified. He did not move. The bride spent the rehearsal dinner crying in the bathroom. They still went through the wedding the next day, which was in October.
She kicked him out and filed for divorce AND annulment (Catholic) by that December.
20. “We Don’t”
At the ceremony, the minister asked the bride's friends and family to say some affirmation (like "we do" or similar) about how they supported the marriage. Those people said the affirmation and cheered loudly.
The minister then asked the groom's friends and family to do the same thing. Complete silence. But it gets worse.
The minister, very flustered, said "Hey how about I give you folks another chance" and again asked the groom's friends and family to affirm their support of this marriage. This time—complete silence.
The minister continued with the ceremony. The couple lasted maybe a few years. It turns out many of the groom's friends and family had begged him not to marry this woman, up to and including the day of the wedding. She was that horrible.
21. Substitute Spouse
I used to be a wedding photographer in Las Vegas at several hotels and downtown wedding chapels. I’ve got so many of these stories. Here’s a fun one.
Monday: I get booked to shoot the wedding.
Wednesday: The hotel calls me to cancel because the bride backed out.
Thursday: The hotel calls to rebook me because the wedding is back on. Same groom but different bride.
Friday: I shoot the wedding with the new bride about 18 or 19 years old (the groom was early 20s) and it’s clear they barely know each other.
The bride just kept saying, “This is so crazy, I can’t believe I’m doing this”. Neither could I. No, it wasn’t a mail-order bride.
22. Yeah, Whatever
Here’s a sad one… An older couple, I’d guess in their 40s/50s. The limo driver calls and tips me off that the bride is being a problem. She arrives and is extremely rude to everyone on the staff while the groom is being apologetic and super nice.
The ceremony starts and she fast-walks down the aisle and doesn’t wait for the groom. The groom sheepishly catches up at the altar. When it’s her time to say “I do” she says “yea whatever” in an annoyed tone. The groom says “I do”. You could cut the tension in the room with a blade.
The minister keeps things on track and finishes the ceremony and we get to the kiss. Instead of kissing the groom she turns her face and gives him her cheek. She then fast walks back down the aisle, signs the paperwork and leaves. The groom was in tears. I never saw them again and I’m sure it didn’t last.
23. Misery Loves Company
The bride looked visibly miserable the entire ceremony. While photographing the men’s “getting ready” portion, the groom repeatedly kept joking about offing himself.
During the toast, the bride ran off to the bathroom for about 30 minutes and came back wiping her tears with her eyes red and puffy. Neither of them had any chemistry at all, it made no sense why they were together to me. That was the last wedding I photographed.
24. Out Of The Stratosphere
This is a fun story…The wedding I was photographing was at the top of the stratosphere tower. The couple shows up and the bride is a new-age crystal type—very, let’s say, spiritual. Meanwhile, the groom straight up looks like an 1849 gold miner. Rope belt, floppy hat, three teeth—the whole thing.
The bride tells me there would be spirits and angels in the photos and the reason they got married at the stratosphere is because it’s the closest place to heaven that they could get married.
They were so weird about it and said so many times that they wanted to be with god and go to heaven that the hotel had the authority dog sniff them before getting on the elevator to go to the top. We lie and tell them it’s standard practice to have the dogs sniff everyone.
The wedding happens and they start chanting nonsense words (speaking in tongues?) then proceed to have the grossest make-out session I’ve ever seen. Then I found out their backstory. Turns out, they met that week in AA.
25. “We Object”
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the bridal couple left the reception and as if on cue all the bridesmaids started ugly crying. We’d all tried to talk the bride out of going through with marrying the demeaning, insecure, piece of garbage and couldn’t hold back any longer.
The bride’s family came over to see what was wrong and just sadly nodded at us. It’s been 35 years and they are still locked in the most emotionally unhealthy relationship I’ve ever seen. So much potential happiness thrown away.
26. Breach Of Contract
My ex-wife was very, very insistent on getting a lot of wedding photo edits done for free but she wanted me to talk to the photographer about it. I did so, as I wanted to keep her happy, but the photographer said no to almost all of what I (really, my then-wife) was requesting, which was entirely fair.
I repeatedly tried to convince my then-wife to just let me do the edits as I am a hobbyist photographer myself and most of the edits she wanted were well within my skill set. But for whatever reason, my then-wife was insistent that the photographer should do it because we'd paid them already.
She couldn't wrap her head around the idea that she was asking for levels of work beyond what was in the contract. And it was work that I was offering to do for free!
So anyway, we only lasted about 18 months...
27. Best Man Or Worst Man?
In another life, I worked catering shifts for loads of Saturday weddings. I'll never forget the best man's toast of the groom. It was a shameless roast.
He spoke openly about the groom's willingness to screw anything when he's had a few. He then went on and on about the groom's deadly gambling habit and his short fuse when he doesn't win.
He asked the stone-faced groom, "How many thousands of dollars in golf clubs have you destroyed or lost in countless ponds?" Nobody was laughing. The bride had tears in her eyes and the groom's parents sat in stunned silence.
28. One Good Thing
The maid of honor very tipsily said in her speech for the groom to call her once the marriage was over (a couple of her friends said that in their speeches actually) and the best man told the bride the groom's phone lock code in his speech because "she was going to need it". Those two lasted maybe a year.
The bride ended up moving states for a new job which made sense to me after seeing how awful her friends and family were during that wedding. The other couple I can think of had 12 bridesmaids/groomsmen EACH–yes 24 people just in the wedding party, not including ushers, guest book attendants, flower girls etc.
The bride and groom belonged to a sorority/fraternity at the same school, that's why there were so many people. The bridesmaids/groomsmen had all dated each other and several of them had dated the bride and groom in college too, so it was a ton of fighting and drama the whole day.
Those two lasted a while, I think five years. But the bride got pregnant on their honeymoon. I doubt they would have lasted a year if she hadn't gotten pregnant so quickly. Years after they broke up, I was invited to the bride's younger sister's bridal shower (they were family friends) and the OG bride got lit on champagne.
She talked about how miserable she was planning her first wedding, and apart from having her daughter, it was the biggest mistake of her life blah blah, so that was fun.
29. We’re Going To Need A Bigger Bucket
I met with potential clients to go over the details of the wedding and to see if we would be a good fit to work together.
I tried to schedule something at a cafe, but they insisted on me coming to their house. When I arrived, there was a five-gallon Home Depot bucket of dirty diapers on the front porch. I had a feeling this wasn't going to go well. A young kid, probably seven or so, answered the door.
All I could see and hear were children running around everywhere. The soon-to-be-husband was sitting on his bed that was in the living room, watching TV, and the bride was in the kitchen with two kids on either hip. She told me to sit at the kitchen table to go over the wedding details.
She shouted at her fiance to come and join the meeting but he didn't acknowledge that I was there to talk about photographing their wedding. The bride was annoyed, then asked if I saw the bucket full of dirty diapers on the porch. I said that I had, and she said her fiance has so many kids with other women that that is the only place to keep them so they don't stink up the house.
I did not take the job. I always wondered what happened to that couple.
30. Ignorance Is Bliss
I issued marriage licenses for years. I could go on for entirely too long—we used to joke about how well a reality show based in our office would do. I'll give you a taste.
You need an ID and birth certificate to get married. If you’ve been married previously, you need a divorce or demise record. There's lines to enter up to four previous marriages on the license (yes, we have had to add lines for people's 6th+ marriage). It is located below all the other identifying information, and just above where the groom and bride sign respectively.
A couple came in. The guy seemed head over heels. We asked them for IDs and birth certificates, and whether there were any previous marriages. They said there were not. "Okay, go ahead and take a seat, we'll give back your IDs after copies". They started walking over to the seating when she goes, "Oh, go ahead honey, I have to ask them something". He says, with a big, happy smile, "Okay!"
She had two previous marriages that ended in divorce, she whispered to us, but the groom thinks she's never been married before. She wanted to know if we have to tell him about them. We said, well, of course, it has to go on the record and you two both have to check your info, swear it's correct, sign it, and hold it in your possession until the wedding day.
She said that's all fine, as long as we don't verbally tell the guy he's her third—not first—marriage. I was really curious to see how she'd pull it off. She started by pulling out both divorce records, fully prepared with the info we needed to copy ready for us, slid it over the counter real nonchalantly.
Next, we naturally typed that info onto two of the four lines granted for previous marriage info, and at the end, before asking them to sign, asked them to review the info printed. This was it, he was about to catch her, I thought!
He took the initiative by putting his hand on the paper, sliding it to his fiancée, and saying "You know me down to my social, babe. Everything look right?" She said yup, and with that, they put their signatures...right next to/under where the divorce information was typed, mind you. Like, a centimeter away. Clueless.
She folded up the license and put it in the same pocketbook that produced her two secret divorce records. I wonder about them sometimes. Also, having worked at the marriage department, it's made me never want to get married.
31. Candid Camera
Oh man, I was a wedding photographer for about five years.
I get being awkward on camera and not wanting to do any public PDA. I’m very awkward myself! But when prompting couples for fun poses like whispering things in each other's ear for a laughing photo, nuzzling close together, etc, most couples eventually let their guard down and enjoyed holding each other. It was so sweet.
A few times though, I had couples that visibly didn’t want to be near each other at all. Once the photo was done, they went back to standing a foot apart. They would complain about each other and make fun of each other in front of me. It always left me with a bad feeling in my gut—and most of the time the marriage didn’t last long!
32. Let’s Take This Outside
When cutting the cake, the bride playfully got some on his face. The groom's response was barbaric. He proceeded to grab a giant chunk and PUNCH her in the face with it, several times hard. She was digging it out from underneath her eyelids bawling and her Dad needed to be held back.
My guess as to why people were holding the dad back was that the groom was in full Marine dress uniform and they used his sword to cut the cake. That sword was very much in arms’ reach of the groom after this happened, so everyone was probably worried something really bad could happen if those two got near each other.
After the incident, it was really awkwardly silent as the groom apologized to the family and if I remember correctly (this was 10 years ago or so) him and the Dad went outside for around 20 minutes, then came back in. The rest of the reception went normally after that.
33. Goat Of Honour
This is the trashiest wedding I’ve ever been to. My cousin got married by a country justice of the peace. She allowed them to use her backyard, a barren clumpy plot of land that abutted a cornfield. They decorated her clothesline pole with crepe paper the night before to be used as an arbor. But it rained in the early morning so it was all splotched and sagging by the time of the service.
I was asked to be the wedding photographer because, you know, the experience a 16-year-old high-school newspaper photographer has makes him very qualified. Near the clothesline, there was a goat tied to a tree, casually munching on whatever goats eat. There were hardly any chairs to sit on, so most people gathered around the bride's mother (my aunt) who was beaming with joy.
The Justice, a dowdy, matronly woman, didn't seem happy to be there as it was obvious from her demeanor that this wedding thing was disrupting her day and her soaps. When her Honor determined a quorum had gathered, she clapped her hands and said "Let's get this over with!"
At that point, it was discovered that the goat wasn't tied so securely to the tree and it ambled over to his owner to stand next to her, making it an official part of the wedding party. After two minutes of a rushed exchanging of vows, the justice stomped up her back porch and disappeared into her house.
The goat wandered back to his tree. The wedding party broke up quite quickly from there and we all waved as the blissful couple departed in his Sunbeam bread-delivery truck that they were going to use as a camper to spend their honeymoon at the beach.
I wish I could tell you that I have pictures to post, but the bride asked for the undeveloped rolls of film explaining she would develop them herself. Three months later, she was able to get the marriage annulled when he left to do a late-night, emergency bread run and never returned home.
I so wish I had a picture of that goat.
34. One-Way Street
I’m a minister and officiant. One of the things that I do with wedding couples that I do not know well personally, is ask them a bunch of questions about what the relationship and their partner mean to them (I ask them these questions individually, without the partner present).
One particular couple has always stuck in my mind, because their interviews disturbed me. When I spoke to the groom, every single answer he gave was about how he could serve the bride and her needs. And when I spoke to the bride...every single answer she gave was about how the groom could serve her and her needs.
It was bad enough that I took the groom aside and asked him whether he really wanted to do this, and he said that he did. I gave them six months, in my mind. But I was wrong; they're still together, 15+ years on. And he's miserable.
The light has completely gone out of his eyes, every time I've seen him since. But he's also a man of his word, so he'll go on being miserable. Indefinitely.
35. Refined Taste
I worked at a (fairly high-end) venue for a reception dinner and the new husband refused the meal (chicken wellington, baked potato) and didn't want the kids meal (chicken strips and fries) and was throwing a tantrum about it when suddenly one of his buddies burst into the dining area triumphantly carrying a Wendy's bag and his friends all hooted and hollered.
I looked over and the newlywed wife was sitting alone at the nicely made head table in her beautiful dress with a thousand-yard stare.
36. What Did She Do?
When I was photographing the groom pre-ceremony, he got a phone call:
"She did what?" He had a pained expression, with a bit of a lip snarl and head shake, as well as a tone of sad resignation.
"Well did anyone call Susan?"
... long pause while the other person talks.
"No, I can't say anything like that to her today".
No idea what it was about, but he looked like he had a mix of "this is my life now" and contempt. They lasted a few weeks and after splitting agreed to split all the remaining wedding bills. He paid his half. Then found out a year later that she never paid her half and sent me the rest.
I sent it back and told him he'd already paid enough for that mistake. We still have drinks or a round of golf every year or so, 20 years later. Good dude, bad judge of women.
37. An Unsuitable Match
The groom didn't want to put on his suit to take portraits even after the bride insisted, because "it's uncomfortable and hot".
I saw the groom down an entire bottle of red in one go when he finally had a minute to himself. I took the picture thinking it was just going to be a goofy moment, until later on while I was editing pictures, I realized what I was seeing. But that wasn't the worst part.
The bride was also 30 minutes late. When I was in the room with the bride while she was getting ready, she told bridesmaids how her sister drove her all around town because she couldn't make up her mind about if she really wanted to get married.
38. You Have No Idea
I'm a wedding photographer. Most of my couples are super awesome. Occasionally, some couples are grumpy with each other during photos and it's not a great look, but honestly, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. Your wedding day should be a happy day, but sometimes it's just stressful; stress can get to people and make them act in a way they normally wouldn't.
I think the "worst" moment I witnessed was when a couple clearly didn't know each other very well. The guy made a comment about not knowing she had OCD during photos and her mom whispered behind me, "You have no idea”... I have no idea if they're still together.
39. Harold And Maude?
I photographed a wedding where I would guess the bride was in her 70s and the groom was in his early 20s. One side of the chapel was all walkers and oxygen tanks while the other was tipsy twenty-somethings. I’m pretty sure it was a money grab but it was notable because normally the genders are reversed at these kinds of weddings.
40. So, How Do You Know The Bride?
So, I arrived at the venue and heard some tragic news. The entire wedding party plus families were at the hospital, since the bride had fainted, hit her head, and had a seizure about four hours before the ceremony was supposed to start.
We had time to spare, and you know, I'd already been paid, so I hung around in case they came back. They did eventually, but before then, the priest, videographer, and I found a brewery down the street that was open and hung out for a few hours.
The priest was a chill guy, but the videographer kept wanting to talk about how he didn't usually do weddings and mostly worked with sororities, making recruitment videos. He kept bringing it back up or forcing the conversation in that direction.
I thought it was weird for a guy in his early 40s to be that excited to talk about all the time he spent with teenagers/early 20s kids, and he said a few things that implied that that's how he knew the bride. I figured it wasn't meant to last, but the guy seemed like a liar, so who's to say?
41. Get Those Angles
I filmed a wedding where the bride constantly made everything about the photos. During the first dance—and this is the moment I had a feeling this was more about the wedding than the marriage—the bride was never focused on her groom.
The groom was being so careful and loving with her, smiling all the way, while she made sure to stop dancing with him every five seconds to reposition them to always be facing the camera. She would stop the most intimate moments to always remind him where the camera was and to ALWAYS look at that camera.
I felt so bad for him from the moment they shared their first look too cause she just kept forcing him to tell her how pretty she looked and to make sure that he cried when she actually walked down the aisle.
42. It’s A Family Affair
It was a big wedding, over 300 people. But the bride had some skeletons in her closet. It turns out, she had been having an affair with her cousin’s husband. The cousin had known for a little bit, but waited until after the wedding to go table to table letting everyone know the bride was sleeping with her husband.
The poor groom was blindsided. The worst part was his father-in-law was well off and opened up a restaurant for him. Well, he lost his wife and his restaurant.
43. That Takes The Cake
The drama started with the best man/groom’s brother just absolutely roasting the bride and her parents. He basically called them gold diggers and stuff in front of several hundred family and friends. Then they cut the cake. Apparently, the groom was told under no uncertain terms not to shove cake in her face.
Well, he did it anyway and she stormed off, not to be seen for 20 minutes. The reception went on as planned, she got tipsy and I’m told she passed out that night in the middle of the street while still in her wedding dress. Pure class. They’re divorced now.
44. Third Time Lucky?
At his third wedding, my Uncle's best man started his speech with, "I told you buying my suit would be cheaper than renting". He got his third divorce after about six months. Which, to be honest, was longer than we expected because we all saw it coming like the steamroller security guard from Austin Powers.
45. Word To The Wise
I met with the couple over coffee, at our initial "do they want to hire me" meeting. They argued bitterly the entire time and eventually, the groom just sat back in his chair with his arms crossed and wouldn't speak to either of us.
I went home and the next day, emailed them the old "something suddenly came up" and that my schedule had unfortunately changed. Red flags aren't just for the people in the relationship. Vendors, see them and heed them.
46. Poor Manners
I worked at a wedding where every one of the groom's family who gave a speech made a reference to the bride's family being poor and the bride was visibly irritated about it. The groom went up to give a speech...and he talked about her family being poor as well. Weirdly enough the "poor" family were better tippers...
47. Keep It Classy
I’m a videographer. I had to pull the video up to transcribe it. This groom thought he was such hot stuff. During the ceremony, he wore sunglasses for one. Then for the vows, he wanted his young kids to come up and be next to him for some reason.
So during the bride’s wonderful, long, thought-out vows, the kids were screwing around with the lapel mic I put on him the whole time, so all he did was ignore her and pay attention to them. When her vows ended he laughed at her. All the guests laughed when he laughed. Then it was his turn and these were literally his vows…
“I mean, imma wing it. I just knew about this last night. I mean, what can I say? You’re perfect. Um. You make my heart stop. Um. (Points to his kids) these are my boys. You are my world. That’s all that matters”.
And that was it. He never said "I love you" once to her the whole day. During the toasts, he gave a speech thanking the bride’s mom for funding the wedding…then to the guests:
“I want to thank all of you guys for joining us on this special event. Um. Life changing. Um. I love my sons, my brothers, and parents, and aunts, and uncles, and cousins, and my co-workers! Wooo! Um. I love you guys. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be part of this day. You guys are my world. And to Ashley (his wife)...We’re having fun yeah?"
And that’s all he said to her. He thought he just delivered the best speech ever too and when he handed the mic over to her, he said “Top that” with the most smug look on his face. As a bonus, his best man was sloshed and this was his toast...
“I’m hap-happy for (the groom). Ha-happy for Ashley. Happy for her parents, his mom. For his friends. It makes everybody happy when... yer-one person’s happy... at all. And if it doesn’t... then honestly, you got problems. Straight up (sips his drink)I don’t know half of you guys, half of you guys don’t know me. And I don’t care”.
“That’s it. (He chugs his drink and places the glass on the couple’s table) I met her mom the last couple days. And Matt (a groomsman). Matt is cool as heck. I don’t give a... I got three sisters, and I’m here for them. So to her mom, dad, and Matt. I got you, Matt. That’s it. (not quite) But when I met Ashley… I thought she was just another person. But you’re not. That’s it. (He picks up the bride’s drink and takes it with him)".
48. My Husband, Vinny
I was a guest of a friend of the bride, and I did not know anyone attending. It was a very expensive over-the-top place, with several hundred guests at this very Italian wedding. The maid of honor grabs the mic at cocktail hour and begins her speech, rambling, intoxicated. It went as bad as it could possibly go.
It quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what finished her. Plus Vinny will never give up sleeping with other women. She is tackled by several people and dragged away.
The happy couple separated and divorced within a year.
49. The Show Must Go On
The groom got so intoxicated the night before that he couldn't make it to the altar at the ceremony. They still had the ceremony with only the bride and her party, plus one of the groomsmen, who apparently didn't get trashed.
Everyone there was shaking their heads the entire time. The groom did make one singular appearance for a few seconds at the reception. He looked like a zombie and was wearing street clothes. And this was no trashy wedding.
The bride was a professional dancer for a major label pop star, so that gives you an idea of the type of people that were in attendance–200-plus people at the ceremony alone, probably double that at the reception.
They divorced within six months.
50. Falling For The Bridesmaid
One of the bridesmaids cried the entire time from makeup to reception. She would have nothing to do with the groom. She kept wanting photos of just her and the bride. Well, that should have been a clue. Eight months later, the bride and groom are separated and she up and elopes with the bridesmaid.