November 7, 2019 | Jess Silverberg

People Share The Illegal Things They Can Get Away With Because Of Their Jobs

Working certain jobs come with certain special privileges, some of which allow workers to operate "beyond" what is common law. In society, we are told not to touch other people, not to steal from other people, not to invade other people's privacy, and so forth. However, some professions require their employees to ignore those common laws for the greater good, despite possibly going against their own morals. People from around the world shared the illegal things they can get away with because of their jobs. Do you agree with what they had to say? Keep reading to find out:

Canva - Group oO People Having A MeetingCanva

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#1 Risky Business

I arrange for people to take power tools, knives and ropes into prisons. It takes two hours to check-in, four hours for them to complete their work, and then another two hours to check out. Heaven forbid you forget an essential tool outside of the 17 locked doors and gates. One day, in the yard a gigantic guy walked over, picked up a 24-inch pipe wrench, and made a beeline for another guy. Luckily, a guard intervened.

160916-F-OR751-009Travis Air Force Base

#2 Grave Robbers

The grave robbing and general looting. For people asking how long has to pass for grave robbing to be considered archaeology, the short answer is: it depends. You can't put an arbitrary number on that. What culture is the grave from? Are there living descendants? What is the justification for excavation?

1280px-St_Mortlach_Church,_Dufftown._View_of_the_anti-_grave_robbing_guard_houseWikimedia Commons

#3 Boil 'Em, Mash 'Em

Disposal of bodies. My niece and her boyfriend are doing forensic anthropology in grad school right now, and they get tissue off of bones by a boiling process. He claims he can't eat the fancy ramen any more because the broth smells like the by-products. Boil 'em? Mash 'em? Stick 'em in a stew?


#4 Beating Up Clients

I rub oil on naked people for money. My sister specializes in deep tissue massage, and she calls it beating up her clients. They like it and tip her when it’s over. “Thanks, see you in two weeks,” her clients tell her as they hobble away. She beat up a cop the other day.


#5 200 Identities

I can freely lookup clients' social security numbers, sometimes their bank accounts, and just about all of their most personal information. Yep, I "stole" over 200 identities this past tax season. I even told the IRS I was doing it. I put it on a big form and everything. The best part is, my victims paid me to do it.

080412-F-4466M-006445th Airlift Wing

#6 Liam Neeson IRL

I'm allowed to carry on an airplane. Some people say air marshals don’t actually see any action. and that all they do is arrest tipsy jerks. But as an air marshal, in the event of an actual emergency, you'd have to be a pretty good shot while in a moving, cramped plane without hitting a civilian or wall.


#7 For Official Use Only

My dad gets to use all the "For Official Use, Only" center median U-turns on the highway. He works for the state highway department and drives an official vehicle. It's all on the up and up. I remember in high school my dad was dropping me off at this indoor track building for a race and he went down one of those center median U-turns so I could get in faster.

I said, "Dad that sign says this is for authorized vehicles only."

He said, "I don't know, I feel pretty authorized."

Then I remembered we were in his work car for the state highway department.


#8 All To Save A Life

I can cut off your clothes, see you naked, and electrocute you with 2 J/kg of electricity, all while I have my hands all over your chest. Also, I can drive far above the speed limit, force cars to veer for you, possess and inject opioids, and put unconscious people into a van and drive them off to a building where many people are regularly cut open.


#9 Ax-Wielding Is The Norm

I get to walk into my workplace with an ax and nobody blinks an eye. It would be very strange to not be carrying an ax, to be honest.


#10 Sensitive Content

I get paid by the US government to look at sensitive content. Mostly sitting in office buildings for Secret Service, FBI, Homeland Security, and, rarely, local police departments. This is because the government has to pay for a defense attorney if a defendant can't afford an attorney, and the attorney has the right to hire a computer forensic expert and check the evidence in person. In 20 years, I've seen only one case where the prosecuting attorney got the defendant mixed up with another defendant and I had to say, "Guys, this defendant does not have any of this evidence at all on his computer," and they quickly found the mistake.

Other than that, the government mostly gets it right, but there have been a few cases where although the evidence existed the government got search warrants that were not exactly legal. Most of the work is not designed to show that the defendant is innocent but rather to quantify how guilty he is, and/or find evidence that sort of explains the story, and/or if they represent a threat to others. In other words, it's used at sentencing but not at trial. No one wants to present this evidence in front of a jury.


#11 Mixing Chemicals

I have access to pretty much every explosive known to mankind. Also, I can legally cook illicit substances, s long as I do the paperwork for it. Yes, I'm a research chemist. The purpose of cooking is to train local LEO in spotting illicit substance labs. DEA occasionally runs clinics, I've participated in one.

Laboratory Compounds Chemistry Chemical ExperimentMax Pixel

#12 Allowed To Tackle

I can tackle people because they have something I want. I'm a PAID rugby player. I only played for 3 years, but one of my teammates went on to captain an international side!


#13 Need For Speed

I can drive fast, talk on my phone, put needles into people, and cut off clothing of unconscious people. The job involves just a little bit more than driving an ambulance though. Yeah, we don't do a three-year bachelor's degree program to be paid like we just drive around and do nothing else... Hold up.


#14 Sticking Victims

Last week, I had an appointment with a woman who stuck me repeatedly for the sole purpose of permanently scarring me. I wonder, though... If a tattoo artist ends someone in the process of giving them a tattoo... would the news report say they stuck the victim thousands of times before they lost their life?

Angry_womanWikimedia Commons

#15 Invasion Of Privacy

I  watch what everyone (in the schools) is doing on their PCs in real-time. It's a total invasion of privacy, but it's for safeguarding the students so it's all allowed. USB drives are disabled and the boot/bios are password-protected. Added that it's school-based, I don't work for the FBI, but please drink more water anyway.


#16 Push Them Out

I’m a tandem skydiving instructor. It would otherwise be illegal to push people out of an airplane from 13,000 feet above the earth. Fun fact: I have also had a few jumps from helicopters. For me, there was no noticeable increase in speed from the rotor wash versus jumping from a fixed-wing aircraft.

1280px-Defense.gov_photo_essay_111017-A-XXXXX-002Wikimedia Commons

#17 Not A Pokemon Go Player

I go on closed trails or off-trail in areas that have been closed to the public for field research. I used to go collect pristine soil for my research projects. To their credit, most hikers (who didn’t know what I was up to) would confront me about it. One old man yelled up the hill, “Boy, they’ll put you away for that faster than for ending somebody."

1024px-OSI_Specialists_Collect_Soil_Samples_-_Flickr_-_The_Official_CTBTO_PhotostreamWikimedia Commons

#18 Creepy For A Purpose

I watch people shower. I'm an occupational therapist. Occupations are activities that you need or want to do. That includes productivity, self-care, and leisure. Bathing, showering, toileting, grooming are all self-care occupations. Sometimes we need to know where the breakdown is to help people re-learn how to do these activities or how we can make them easier to do safely and independently.

1280px-Occupational_therapist_conducting_a_group_intervention_on_interpersonal_relationship_buildingWikimedia Commons

#19 Google Spy

I have access to clients' personal information. SSN, address, phone number, etc.along with their finances. My case management system is even creepier—I can pull up Google maps to get the exact location of where my clients live from a hyperlink attached to their address. Good if they live close to me and I don't want a wild client sighting. It still feels a bit weird that I have that power.


#20 Minimal Supervision

When I was in my earlier 20s, I got a job at Cooperators insurance consolidating files because they had thousands of duplicates. It was just a summer job in a room with about a dozen other 20-year-olds. We had access to so much personal info including social insurance numbers. I am very surprised we didn't have to go through a background check.


#21 Unlocked By Maiden Name

Insurance adjuster. It's shocking how easy it is to not only get your personal information from maiden names and SSN to every address you've been at from the last 25 years. Also, photos of your vehicle from tollways and prior estimates, etc. Thankfully, most of us are very ethical and are carefully audited and watched.


#22 Expensive Pew Stick

I'm allowed to handle a loaded automatic rifle, sure legal in some countries for most, but not in mine. And even the counties that it is legal, it's still hard as hell to get one. For example, in the US you would be looking at about $200 tax and would have to register with the federal government. That means filling out a 12-page application, submitting fingerprints, and sending photos to the Bureau. Then you get to wait nine months to a year before you even get any kind of word back. Only then you can finally buy your very expensive pew stick.


#23 Definitely Not Retail

I get to shoot grenade launchers, set off C4, throw grenades, and fire .50cal bullets at tanks and buildings. I also get to administer saline, set hemlocks, draw blood, and suture wounds in dirty environments. All of which without any licensing is completely legal for me.

131103-F-PB262-001Air Force Reserve Command

#24 Poison Locker

I handle and purchase very dangerous chemicals. Some lockers are literally referred to as the "Poison Locker." I have done research but right now I work with the production and purification of proteins. In a couple of weeks, I will step up one level and start working as a development engineer. We make antigens and antibodies intended for research. Since we don't make anything for clinical use we don't have to worry about prions. We probably don't accidentally make prions anyway for a multitude of biochemical reasons.


#25 Licence To Punch

I punch people in the face. Most people know me as that MMA fighter that went absolutely wild on that really tatted out guy who was weirdly confrontational. It takes years to become a pro fighter with training every day and a whole lot of dedication.


#26 Would You Trust A Butcher?

If put in basic terms— I can fire a very strong laser at people and cut out lumps of flesh from prone individuals, all with their own consent. A patient once asked me a most interesting question: "If you swapped places with a master butcher, then which one of you would be the most comfortable in their new job?" I said that I would think about that one! I never did see the fellow to give him my answer... My answer would have been that if I were marooned on an island with a butcher, and needed a quick, life-saving operation, then I would prefer a butcher to a joiner or even a mechanic!

I did once hear of a tale of a butcher using false documents in order to work as a surgeon. From what I remember, this fellow carried out many major operations and wasn't caught for ending a patient, but instead was caught because something on his file caused a worker from a medical records department to become interested in him... The game was at an end! I often think of how I would feel if I found out that a butcher had carried out a major operation on me... Probably quite satisfied if the operation was successful!

#27 That Was Easy

I worked on a military base as a civilian consultant. I was on a battleship, and after work, they said I could look around and take pictures. It was pretty cool, so of course, I did. As I was wandering around, a uniformed officer angrily came running up to me and started yelling at me. I just looked at him and said: "I'm working here." He stopped, looked a bit confused, and then said, "Okay." He walked away without checking my ID or anything. I thought, "Wow, that was easy." (I did have clearance to be there, went through the whole deal first and had my papers ready).


#28 Dangerous Rink Management

At my hockey arena job, I was able to handle extremely lethal substances with no vetting whatsoever. Mainly, the refrigerants for the ice, as well as straight ammonia. Those chemicals are pretty dangerous—take into account that dihydrogen monoxide in solid form is very easily lethal.

hockey-rink-1551192073Rm1Public Domain Pictures

#29 In The Name Of Medicine

I can end 200 creatures in an hour based on their age and genetic makeup. All in the name of medicine. I can also have hundreds of pictures of brains on my phone and it’s absolutely expected, as well as perform experiments on mice every day, then ending them when they're no longer needed. It's a jarring experience for sure.

Mouse in Research for Animal TestingFlickr

#30 Happy Men

I can cut women with a knife, sometimes just slicing their lower abdomen open, and pull their baby out. And while not illegal, it is usually frowned upon to make other men’s wives pregnant, but for me, that is not only fine but if I succeed, the men get happy.


#31 Legal Trespassing

I can trespass onto the abandoned property. Cops and security guards reasonably want to make sure I’m not there to start an illicit substances lab or to risk my life in the name of urban exploration. I’ve had security guards change from “What are you doing here?” to “Let me show you this thing I saw in this attic.” I once went from being held at the business end of a rifle in a remote canyon to a guided tour with one phrase: “I’m a historian.”


#32 A Truly Hard Job

I help people in their last moments to pass as comfortably as possible. I'm a hospice nurse. I previously coordinated chemotherapy trials for incurable patients before handing them over to palliative care once the treatment stopped working. It's a really hard job, but it's incredibly rewarding and it really brings you down to earth.

#33 Sewing Up Hearts

In my area, we poison people to an inch from dying, chill them so their brains won't work properly while someone else cuts their ribs apart to sew their hearts with a piece they cut from their legs. Very crude, very cool. Basically what I just described is the process for a coronary artery bypass surgery. I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon.

Cardiac_surgeon_wearing_loupesWikimedia Commons

#34 I Love Research Science

I buy a lot of controlled chemicals. I can buy 99% ethanol without tax. I can also request experiments on animals. I love research science.

“What happens if I feed a rat with 100 mL of 99% pure ethanol? Hypothesis, it lives.”

*Does the experiment*

“Hypothesis was wrong, but I have to end 1,000 other rats just to be sure that rats do pass away if forced to consume 100 mL of ethanol.”


#35 Turtle Tackler

I can tackle sea turtles. My occupation? Marine scientist. You tackle them from a moving boat then lead them to the surface so you can tag or study them. If you try to use nets, they freak out and drown, so this is the safest way to do it!

Marine Scientist Jennifer Stanhope, VASG Graduate Research Fellow Annie Murphy, and Mark Luckenbach take water samples from the cores over the course of the day to measure the nutrient concentrations in the water. ©Margaret Pizer/VASGFlickr

#36 Legal Arsonist

I can light things on fire. Tallgrass prairie restoration and oak savanna habitat restoration are fire-dependent ecosystems. So, in the spring and fall, we get to set things on fire to start an ecological succession. Volunteers always get a kick out of it.

Nez-IkesNational Park Service

#37 Unpaid Internships

As a student, I pay money to work. I guess it's kind of like working for below minimum wage, so my "job" is a massive labor violation.  I'm on unpaid practicum right now but still, I have to pay tuition. I did the math and I'm paying $4 an hour to work for free, wee! And people complain about unpaid internships...


#38 Perks Of Being Behind-The-Scenes

I have behind-the-scenes access to a lot of online stores. There's a lot of data, including customer information (names, addresses, billing). I'm a Shopify Tech Support? As much as I hate the job, that was always the one perk to working in tech support. I've had access to a lot of information that everyone else thinks is secure and safe.

Over the years, I've had access to personal medical records, classified energy projects, school grades for the majority of North America, and an unbelievable amount of credit card information. I've never been stupid enough to do anything with any of that information, but knowing how security is actually implemented has led me to be a little more careful with my personal information.


#39 Paid For Torture

People give me money to torture them in hopes that their body will readjust itself to the torture and can withstand an increased amount of torture each time. I'm a personal trainer.

Personal_Training_at_a_Gym_-_Cable_CrossoverWikimedia Commons

#40 No One Is Safe

I work in HR, which gives me full access to a lot of confidential information, including SSNs, addresses, dates of birth, etc. Obviously, I cannot and do not use it for any illegal purposes or give this information to anyone, but the mere fact that I have access to so much information about thousands of people is disconcerting when I stop to think about it. I know what benefits they have, I know their salary and work history, and I can even look up their performance appraisals and any disciplinary actions or medical issues for which they took time off.

I've sometimes had an employee try to give me some of their confidential information so I can do something for them. If I know them or they seem like they can take a joke, I just smile and say, "You don't need to tell me. I work in HR."

121210-F-IW726-002Whiteman Air Force Base

#41 Chasing Clues

I follow people wherever they go and record them. I wear different outfits to try to pretend to be from where the other person and I are going. I call the person’s doctor or family and pretend to be their insurance agent to get appointment information. I have limousine-blacked-out windows on my sedan. I'm a private investigator.


#42 Testing The Filters

I work at a high school and I occasionally navigate to adult websites on student computers. Any other staff member would likely be fired on the spot. But I have to test the filters sometimes.

#43 Take That, Police

I can walk into anyone’s private property that I want and they can’t tell me not to. I can also park illegally, and the police can't pull me over for traffic infractions. I'm a mailman.

1280px-Intelligent_Mailman_-_Ars_Electronica,_Linz_-_1994Wikimedia Commons

#44 Surgeon In The Making

I can pump complete strangers full of illicit substances until they fall unconscious, then slice them open and play around with their organs until I'm satisfied... I also charge them for it. I'm currently studying to be a surgeon.

Surgeon Dr Alex Cato performs an operation at the Vaiola HospitaFlickr

#45 Tattooing The Wild

I tattoo wild animals. Ecological research routinely requires trapping animals, but some studies we have to bring them into captivity. Some animals become 'trap happy', meaning they love being safe and snug in an enclosed cage with a big snack and will return frequently to the trap. Sometimes they'll return every night. So we tattoo an identifying mark (usually a number) inside their ear for quick identification and immediate release.




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