Protective Fathers Describe The Worst Boyfriend Their Daughter Has Ever Had

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Everyone is bound to end up with someone rotten at some point. However, these girlfriends’ terrible significant others redefine the horrors of bad relationships! Luckily, there are plenty of protective fathers and brothers in the world to retaliate against these train-wreck dates. From being extremely neglectful to mooching off their daughters, these tales of lowlifes will have any parent reviewing their kid’s most recent romantic fling.

These stories from fathers, brothers, mothers, and the daughters themselves who got tangled up in some insanely awful relationships!

| Humaverse

#1 A Psycho Driver In Panic

My dad would say it was the one who got under the influence and drove with me in the car resulting in an accident that left me with a compound fracture to my arm. Mainly because after the accident, I called my dad crying hysterically because the dude had pushed me down and stepped on my broken arm that wasn’t in a cast yet. My dad came to the rescue and basically choke slammed the guy. My dad is my hero.

lifeinthefastlane999

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#2 Super, Duper Creepy Teen

My older sister dated a lot of losers. The worst was Gilbert. Once he blocked my path and asked for a kiss when I was only 11. He kept insisting he was going to be family. Then he got under the influence and took a swing at my dad. My dad is about 5’7″ and Gilbert was about 6′ tall. Luckily, my dad dodged it and kicked him out. My brothers paid him a visit that night and Gilbert never returned to our house.

Cucurucho78

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#3 A Long Line Of Jimmys

My step-sister was a serial dater in high school.

Seriously, every month or so, there’d be a new boyfriend. My dad got tired of becoming emotionally attached to each new guy before the break-up, so he started calling them all ‘Jimmy’ – They could have their own name if they lasted 2 months, or if he hung around enough to make dad actually like them.

One guy’s name was actually Jimmy so Dad called him Tacklebox, due to the excessive amount of facial and ear piercings the guy had.

We kept track of who was who by adding hyphens to the front of them.

daitoshi

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#4 A Wishy-Washy Jerk

I dated a guy for 5 years before he broke up with me because he didn’t love me anymore. We decided to give it another shot a couple of weeks later, but whenever he would come over, my dad would go to his and my mom’s room and shut the door so he wouldn’t have to see/talk to my boyfriend.

About a month later, we broke up again. For me, it was for good but my ex wanted to try again just like the time before. After I ignored all of his attempts at communicating, he came by the house. My dad came to my room to ask what the heck HE was doing here. I told my dad that I was ignoring him and that he would go away eventually. My dad just smiled and walked out of my room. I look out my bedroom window and see my dad storming across the front yard waving his arms and screaming at my ex who had just gotten out of his car. I’m not sure what all was said but that was the last time I saw/heard from my ex.

My mom later gave me the rundown of what my dad had screamed at my ex about. Basically, my dad had told him that if he couldn’t treat me like the most important thing on Earth, then he could get lost.

omglookawhale

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#5 Completely Unhinged Trainwreck

As a teen, my sister had a real beauty of a boyfriend.

The kid was about 17. Got under the influence one night, smashed up an adult beverage store, then showed up at our house at about 6:00 AM and threatened my mother and I with a butchering tool. It was not for any specific reason other than he knew how badly he’d messed up his life. I’m not sure what he expected we’d do about it.

That was the end of that relationship.

Bunktavious

#6 Transforming A Mild-Tempered Man

This happened to one of my aunts when she was a teenager, and my grandfather was the father in question.

This happened in the early-mid 60s and my aunt’s boyfriend was a bit of a Jack the Lad type, and as the story went, he slapped my aunt over something minor.

My grandfather never swore, never raised his voice and had a Mr. Rogers-esque personality. Getting him riled up was very difficult and until his death this was the only time my mom, any of my aunts or my grandmother heard him yell. He ran over to the boy (who was stupid enough to hit someone in plain view), grabbed him by the ear and marched him to the door while yelling: “How dare you raise a hand to a woman, sir! I ought to have you horse whipped!” He then threw him out the door where the boy fell on his rear end.

dead-ced-dead

#7 An Embarrassing First Impression

In Highschool, I had met one of my girlfriend’s fathers whilst wearing a shirt that read, “I like to rock out with my c**k out”.

It was bright yellow with purple letters.

Chinstrap_1

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#8 A Drastically Deadbeat Family

A boyfriend asked my daughter to move in with him and his mom. Neither worked or attempted to work. My daughter worked 2 jobs and paid the rent. When questioned his grown mom was like “I’m letting her live here, so it should be expected”.

maple33

#9 Horridly Abusive Pet Owner

Not my daughter, but my sister came home from college for Thanksgiving with a new boyfriend and his dog, an animal so skittish that it would not let anyone touch it other than the owner. When he called the dog it would literally crawl on the floor towards him, obviously terrified that it was going to be beaten.

Before the day was out the dog had stolen a scrap of food (it was emaciated) and was promptly taken to the workshop garage (former farm) where you could hear the man beating the dog senseless.

When he returned to where we were standing around the grill, my father calmly told him to get in his car and leave or he’d be spending the night in jail. The dog was taken to the vet (and presumably the shelter after that) and I had to drive my sister home.

Personally, I think my father should have called the police and had him arrested.

Drusgar

#10 A Little Casanova

That jerk that waved at her last week. I’m on to you, Justin.

I don’t care if you’re in kindergarten.

SpicyThunder335

#11 Horrific, Heartbroken Vandal

My older sister dated a crazy person in high school. She dumped him for being a crazy person and he spray painted a defamatory word on her car and smashed all her windows. What a guy!

slibberynibble

#12 Majorly Awkward Confrontation

My girlfriend’s father once angrily told me:

“So you’re the brat who took my daughter’s virginity!!”

I said: “Sorry. I promise it won’t happen again”

I guess he doesn’t like me much.

ozzymustaine

#13 Father-Brother Tag-Team

Back in high school, my sister had a younger boyfriend who I can best describe as a jerk-nozzle. I remember once, he was being his usual jerk self, annoying my sister who was hanging out with me and my girlfriend in my room. She kept asking him to leave her alone and go home, but of course he wouldn’t. I spoke up and said, “dude, she doesn’t want you here, it’s our house, go home.”

He takes this as a personal challenge and stands up and gets in my face, yelling at me and trying to start a fight. I don’t remember everything either of us said, but I do remember him telling me to hit him, I imagine it’s because he was too much of a weakling to start a fight with me in my house, but figured he could fight back?

I just told him to “shut up and go get your rear end in the car.” My dad drove him home, and he “tattled” on me by telling my dad I cussed at him. My dad said he told him “Good. When you’re asked to leave, leave. I’m happy he stood up for his sister.” And I’m sure my dad had some other words for him.

They didn’t date for much longer afterwards.

lekniz

#14 A Teeny-Tiny Narcissist

This kid is absolutely the worst. Totally ignores my daughter ninety percent of the time, then freaks out when she won’t pay attention to him. They were at a huge event a few months ago and he had her in tears – he wouldn’t even acknowledge she was there.

thepariaheffect

#15 A Sister’s Strange Guy Type

My almost 40-year-old cousin has a type: sketchy dudes who are addicted to substances and work in kitchens. It’s weird because she hates substances and even at parties would kick people out for doing them. She’s like a sister to me, I’ve never seen her get into a relationship with someone who she won’t eventually freak out on because he’s smoking substances or addicted to pills.

The best part is she likes to listen to cheesy romance songs like “Chasing Cars” or “Teenage Dream” and I wonder where in her head does Brett the dishwasher who loves Percocet fit into those fantasies.

bupdup

#16 Uber-Strict Helicopter Father

In high school, I was someone’s dad’s least favorite boyfriend.

My girlfriend had very strict parents who didn’t allow her to date, so we had to sneak around them to see each other. Her parents used to leave the house on Saturdays for a long time to run errands, so we would hang out at her place most weekends.

One Saturday we were in bed and we heard the front door open and her dad come home. I was up like a shot and got my clothes on, then hid behind the door. Her dad came in to say hi to her, and stood in the doorway making small talk for over 20 minutes, with me holding my breath only 3 feet from where he stood.

TooSoonTurtle

#17 An Impossibly Lazy Mooch

My daughter is seeing this guy now – he doesn’t drive so she ends up conning my wife into giving him rides. He comes over, digs into my daughter’s stuff without asking, gets my wife to make him food. Total moocher. Says he wants to marry my daughter but seems totally aimless. He doesn’t have any career goals, doesn’t have a job, he’s in school but has no plans for when he gets out. He lives with his mom – who quite obviously picks out his clothes for him.

eviiedwin

#18 Beyond Horrible Husband

My daughter actually married and had a kid with this guy who had already done 2 stretches for assault with a deadly weapon.

His next violent crime will be his 3rd strike.

She has defended him by saying that he never hurt her or the baby and that he was bi-polar and couldn’t help it.

Either way, he’s back in prison for 4 years after pleading guilty to a felony making criminal threats of bodily harm to her.

She’s promised to divorce him while he’s gone.

iconoclast63

#19 Foolish Facebook-Caught Robber

My sister married a loser who I saw a Facebook post saying a friend of mine was robbed and they had CCTV footage of the robbers and the guy in the picture was my loser brother-in-law loading an air conditioner into his car. He got off by claiming he didn’t know he was helping somebody rob the place. His friend told him he was helping them move.

DTG_58

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#20 Literally Wrecking Their Girlfriend’s Life

My ex-girlfriend and I had been dating for a few months, exclusive but not anything super-serious yet. One day she invited me to meet her parents, so I drove over to her place for dinner. While I was pulling up on their street, one of my car tires popped when I hit a pot hole and I lost control of my car. I ended up absolutely destroying their mailbox and running over her little brother’s bike.

Also, she hadn’t told them that I was her GIRLFRIEND, not her boyfriend. So the first time they found out their daughter was into girls was when her girlfriend destroyed their property.

We ended up breaking up for other reasons, but her parents never liked me much.

partofbreakfast

#21 A Full-Grown Crybaby

When I was 16 I didn’t really date very much. My parents had one rule before I was allowed to go out to the movies with a guy. They had to meet him a few times first. Have him over for dinner and the like. So I met this guy we will call D. His real name is actually quite feminine and he was already quite an insecure individual about it. Add that to “I’m meeting this girls parents for the first time” jitters.

The guy gets dropped off and rings the door bell. My dad answers it and the kid bursts into tears on the spot.

iamthepixie

#22 Hilarious Torture By Documentary

The “Hang around late at night waiting for me to go to bed so you can get intimate with my daughter on the couch” guy. I know your game! I invented that game! Hope you enjoy this History Channel documentary on The Cold War.

Richard-Hindquarters

#23 An Uncomfortable Age Gap

My daughter’s boyfriend who was older than me.

SenatorJim

#24 Criminally Horrid Boyfriend

I know my dad would say my sister’s current boyfriend. He ran from the cops for weeks after failing a substance test (he had been caught selling substances in a school zone years ago). He ended up hiding out in my parents house without them knowing and then the cops came to their house and arrested him. My parents were furious and said he couldn’t come over again until he apologized. Well, he is too chicken to apologize to them so he hasn’t come over in a year. She is still with this jerk too.

sleepininanuber

#25 Jaw-Droppingly Disgusting

The one who pooped into his hand in my shower and cussed at me for building the toilet too far away. He missed his throw and it ended up in the wall, after the cussing he was very politely escorted out.

oneGassyQ

#26  What’s a Potato?

The boy didn’t know what a potato was. We didn’t want to freak out to be rude, but even my daughter started to get angry at this impossible situation. We had to kick the boy out and luckily my daughter broke up with him.

casualhobos

#27 An Awkward Situation

He was homeless. She was 17 and he was 25. At the time she was living with her ex-boyfriend and his family (in an awkward situation where she wouldn’t leave) and let her homeless boyfriend move in with her/her ex/her exes family. She ended up getting knocked up and kicked out and announced her pregnancy during her eulogy for our great grandmother’s funeral. When my mother, a respected scientist, met him for the first time, she punched him in the face right outside a Secretary of State. She ended up having to file for a protective order because he was physically abusive to her and their child among other issues he had. Immediately after that one, she got knocked up by another guy. Who just so happens to also be our cousin’s baby daddy. Making our cousin’s daughter, her son, and her unborn child both cousins and siblings at the same time. Yes, family reunions are awkward.

t8um

#28 He’s a Keeper

He most recently got out of jail because he failed to notify the registry of an address change, which all sex offenders MUST do before moving. If you’re unaware, this involves making a phone call and not much more. He still didn’t do it and had to go away for three months. At a family reunion, he bragged that his main source of income was buying cigarettes from the Indian reservation and selling them to minors. He has the Horde symbol (from World of Warcraft) tattooed on his bicep with his username tattooed underneath it. He is missing all of his front teeth. He owns three vehicles, none of which are in his name.

Just recently, he claims to have had a stroke and can’t speak or use his right arm anymore. This was proven false when he ran into my wife at the store carrying a basket of groceries in one hand and his 4 year old son in the other. Yes, he went to jail and left my daughter with his kid for three months. She seems to be in on this ruse, but they are both just so stupid that they think they have everyone fooled.

Throwthekeyaway69

#29 Depressed, Lonely and Trapped

I’m fairly convinced her fiancé actually has no soul. Never smiles. Never has anything good to say. Always argues. Always thinks he is correct. Endlessly plays video games. The last thing wouldn’t be so bad except they have two children which he ignores while he plays for hours on end. My daughter is depressed, lonely, and above all, trapped. Honestly I wish the guy would just leave her at this point so the family could be happy again.

viciousformation

#30 One Day Too Late

My daughter allowed her boyfriend to drive her new car the day before we got it insured and he crashed into someone. No one got hurt, but I had my license pulled and had to pay over $10,000. He’s taking responsibility, but damn.

Quigleyer

#31 Keeping It In The Family

Two of my daughter’s ex: Yes, it’s the same idiot. He was unemployed, was in college but dropped out. He came down from college and stayed with us for a month. In that month, he did nothing but play video games, eat all the food, and drink all of our sodas. He didn’t bathe the entire month he was with us, didn’t go out, didn’t do anything. He was disgusting and we had to throw the couch out after he left because his funk stuck to the couch and didn’t come out after multiple treatments. Later on my other daughter started dating him. She married him, had two kids with him, and nothing changed. It still disgusts me years later.

IGNOREMETHATSFINETOO

#32 “You Have Very Poofy Hair”

My daughter is 16 so I fear it’s only just begun. Her last boyfriend, the day I met him, walked with her home from school. She texted me to say she would be out on the porch for a little while. I texted back, “Ok cool, no visitors inside today. Your sister is having a bad day”. Her sister is developmentally delayed and a bad day means it’s BAD and she can’t handle new people very well even on good days. About 20 minutes later, I hear them both walk in the door, and my daughter arguing with him about it. He came in anyway, not just uninvited but specifically NOT invited. And then the first thing he ever says to me: “You have very poofy hair”. (I have very thick, coarse hair and hadn’t had a chance to do anything about it that day). That was day one. It only got worse until I forced a breakup a few weeks later by not allowing her to see or talk to him. She didn’t even argue so. I don’t think she liked him much either.

DontThrowSoCloseToMe

#33 At Least He Apologized

She had a boyfriend that gave me an instant migraine whenever his name was mentioned. The worst thing he did was when our family went on a vacation. We asked this guy to watch our place while we were gone. He loses our cat (she actually was hiding in the closet), and then he decides to throw a party at our house. The cabinet was raided, guys were spitting on the carpet, tile floor was stained with whatever everyone spilled (which also left sticky residue), and the house reeked of smoke.

If that wasn’t bad enough, he did not bother to clean it up, so we walked into a pit when we got home from vacation. So he comes over to return the key, and at least apologized for having the party and losing the cat. My wife still offered to pay him for watching the house (not sure why), and instead of refusing it for what happened, he took it. My daughter was super pissed about it and decided this guy was not worth it.

Fanabala3

#34 Think Of The Twins

My daughter got pregnant (with twins) within a few weeks of them dating. He’s super rude, thinks he’s the smartest person in the world (thinks he’s an expert on any subject) and talks down to my family. He’s one of those atheists who thinks anyone who is religious is an idiot on principle. My wife and I are both christian, the kind that would never force their beliefs on anyone, but this guy is constantly trying to start fights with us over theology. Oh, he’s also an alcoholic, and hasn’t had a job in the last 9 years (the age of their twins) because he got a DUI and refused to go to AA to get his licence back (was caught drunk driving WITH my daughter in the car.. luckily their babies weren’t with them). …what else.. oh, she’s caught him cheating on her, she’s tried to leave a few times but keeps going back to him, he spends all the money on dvds for some reason, and tries to pick fights with my son.

Detectivespecial

 

#35  Never Date a Neckbeard

My eldest daughter’s husband. She was 19. He was 16. He was very much a neckbeard-esque, gross teenage boy. Spent countless hours playing video games. Grease spiked his hair. Never shaved, showered, or wore deodorant. Gave himself home piercings and would melt plastic, then mold it with his fingers for makeshift jewelry. She had a baby from a previous relationship, and was very pretty. She wanted someone she thought could support them, and was convinced she found a winner. He was going to be on lifetime disability for fetal alcohol syndrome.

When I found out my daughter was seeing him, I nearly had a meltdown. When I told her I wouldn’t allow it, she told me she was pregnant with her second child and he was the father. They got married when he was older. He held one job in his twenties, at a Target, and was fired because he had some anger issues and had a meltdown at work.

He has a bad smoking habit, buys and takes pain killers with his disability money, and showers once every 6 months. My daughter pays all the bills while he stays home. He plays video games on his computer all day, and doesn’t help with the kids. Lives in a literal mountain of trash. Smokes at his desk, ash and soda cans everywhere.

BabyGirlR

#36 Partying Like a Rockstar

When she was 18, my daughter took a temporary leave of her senses and started dating this guy who was, basically, your stereotypical drummer in a band. He had no job because his band was “about to get signed and go on tour”, he had tattoos that looked like they were done by a drunk 5 year old with a nervous twitch during a black out, he didn’t have a driver’s license because he could “always get rides from friends”, referred to me as “Dude” and my wife as “Babe”, and he lived with his singer and his 2 dogs in a camping trailer behind his uncle’s house.

The first night he met us (me and my wife), after finding out my wife was an EMT / paramedic, he asked her how bad he’d have to be hurt to get morphine administered to him in the ambulance. He then followed that up by saying that he “almost wanted to get in a wreck” so my wife would give him CPR. My wife (politely) excused herself and pulled our daughter aside to tell her she was “messing up royally” but it was (of course) blown off as “oh he’s just messing around” kind of thing. We decided at that point we’d just stand back, watch the chaos and step in only if needed, and let our daughter learn a “life lesson”.

My daughter was with him about a month and a half and in that time…he got busted once for trying to steal about $15 worth of steaks and a bottle of A-1 Sauce from a Food Lion…he puked in her car twice after drinking too much at gigs…he decided to do a “dine and dash” and ran out on her when they were eating at Denny’s one morning after a gig…and finally–he “borrowed” her cell phone to “make a call”, found her best friend’s phone number, and used my daughter’s phone to send her friend some inappropriate pics saying that it was an offer to her (the friend) since my daughter “wouldn’t put out”.

UncleJay74

#37 She Just Dodged a Bullet

Right after my daughter broke up with her first serious boyfriend his “best friend” started checking in on her more and more. Then he’d meet her at the local park (they were 15/16) to walk around. Started saying things like first boyfriend didn’t respect her, etc. She insisted his intentions were pure and friendly when I explained that they were not. Innocence is naive like that. Eventually he came by to pick her up when he had access to a car and I met him in person. If you didn’t really speak to him you’d probably think he was an alright kid, but I did speak to him. Everything was just a little too polite from him. Sharky smile with unengaged eyes. Even if this guy wasn’t going after his best friends girl 2 weeks after they broke up he would have been a thumbs down for me. I tell daughter as such. I’m obviously too dumb to know what I’m talking about, because: parent.

Fast forward a few weeks later and she tells me she is starting to have feelings for shark boy and he has asked her out. I told her I did not approve of the relationship (or any relationship so soon after having such a serious one so young). I didn’t like or trust that kid. Apparently my approval mattered enough for her to tell him as much and suggested they “try going on a few dates to take it slow and see if mom comes around”. Kid. Goes. Off.

He’s enlisting in the Marines and, apparently, needs someone to fly out to Texas to see him, not some girl to go on dates with. He’s not going to waste his time on some girl who isn’t a sure thing. He couldn’t believe she’d been leading him on this whole time. He’d put all that time in “for nothing”. Etc. She came home a little upset but the best part of my briefing on the encounter was her walking in my room saying “You were right, I just dodged a freaking bullet!”

notsweetenough1

#38  Young Love

She’s currently 16 and he’s 18. He is a compulsive liar, constantly cheats on her (100% confirmed), tries to sneak into the house, has diagnosed personality disorders that he refuses to get help for, drinks, tells her he is the only one who will ever love her, AND… last year, got her pregnant.

He has no job, and currently no future. Any money he gets, he spends on himself. My daughter is in counseling but she’s wound around this predator’s finger so tightly that she won’t leave him and chooses his needs over her own and the baby’s. She does not have custody of the child right now and neither does the sperm donor.

I begged her to get a restraining order to no avail because she was too scared of hurting his feelings.

dabPrassion

 

#39 An Expensive Relationship

She was engaged to a guy who wasn’t all that bad at first. He was pretty boring and just played video games. He had pretty bad psoriasis so we’d constantly find stray bits of dead skin around the house. About 2 years into their engagement (they never set a date because he refused to do any planning whatsoever), a letter got posted to my house which was addressed to my other daughter. The envelope and 15-page love letter to my other daughter were all handwritten in this guy’s unmistakable chicken scratch. My daughter promptly ended the engagement, and then I was left to deal with him crying and begging me to fix it. Also he left her over £9,000 in debt.

(Deleted)

#40 What Was He Thinking?

My daughter came home from a date saying how generous this guy was, he took her to a nice restaurant, bought her some fancy perfume afterwards etc etc… turns out when he picked her up from our house he had swiped my wife’s credit card from her bag in hallway and used it to fund the date. Not sure if ballsy or stupid, either way cops tracked him down pretty quickly

Pete4000

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