People Share Their Absolute Worst ‘Meeting Their Lover’s Parents’ Story

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Dating is something of a game of chance, and if you manage to play the game well enough, at some point you will normally be asked to meet your partner’s family. Now, for most people, this is something of a standard ritual. You meet the parents with a bottle of wine, you have a delightful conversation over dinner and then you all go on your merry way. With that big milestone out of the way, you’re one step closer to finding out whether this partner is the one you’re going to spend forever with.

Sadly, this isn’t how it turns out every time.

Some people’s parents simply aren’t all that easy to be around. Sometimes, they have good reason to put up a fight for their child. Sometimes, they’re just plain bonkers. Now, let’s hear from 25 Redditors who ran into parents that weren’t the easiest folks to relate to in the first place. These are the worst “meet the parents” stories in history.

#25 Mom Was Rather Too Concerned With Their Intimate Life

His mom asked us if we were “dipping winkies” (please bear in mind I’m a female) and said if he ever needed condoms for us to tell her we’re “hungry for Hardee’s” and she’d know what we meant and wouldn’t have to explain further, and that she would either give us money for or go out and buy us condoms. I was fourteen at the time. Found out years later that she became pregnant and had an abortion at thirteen, she didn’t want us to have to make that decision, so she really was just trying to be helpful. But it was a little much the very first time meeting her.

[deleted]

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#24 Dad Turned Out To Be A Tad Violent

Met the father at my boyfriend’s hockey game. He was sweet and bought me a hot chocolate and himself a coffee. About 5 minutes later he gets booted from the arena for arguing with a referee and throwing his coffee at the referee’s face.

zepoopsmith

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#23 He Disgraced Himself

Sitting at dinner with the girlfriend and her parents (just met them 10 minutes earlier) having casual conversion when I sneeze-farted. I tried to play it cool but we all knew what happened. The worst part was about 30 seconds after it happened after everyone had moved on when the smell crept in.

your_inner_monologue

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#22 She Must Really Like Buffy

The first time I met my fiance’s mother, we had to walk past her to go to his bedroom, and he said, “Hi mom, this is nancydrewskillz.” I said hi, she said hi, and that was it. We were more formally introduced in the morning.

But the next time we saw each other I came stumbling drunk into the house, told her how much I loved Buffy (she was watching it) and had a 5-minute conversation with their dog about how soft he was.

Two and a half years later, she’s going to be my mother in law. And when her son and I were having a pretty serious argument a while ago she said to him, “If you break up with her, I’m trading you for her.”

nancydrewskillz

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#21 Dad Shares More Than He Had Planned

I was invited to a (former) boyfriend’s house for dinner to meet his parents. When I got there, his father wasn’t yet home from work so we decided to go for a walk. Boyfriend’s mother told us to be back to the house by 5, so we were playfully racing each other back so as to make it in time.

I got to the door a few paces ahead of him, opened the door, and found myself face-to-face with his dad who was standing stark naked in front of the door. I turned around and hid around the corner, the father kind of yelped and ran down the hall, and we were both mortified. Turns out he came home and was getting ready to shower when the phone rang, so he answered it naked since he hadn’t expected us back yet.

janemorrisgoodall

#20 A Clash Of Cultures Ensued

My ex-boyfriend wanted me to meet his parents, and he told me they wanted to meet me too. We decided to drive up to their place in the bay area (we lived in Orange County at the time) for Thanksgiving.

I’m white, and he (and thus his parents) are Chinese. I normally wouldn’t mention this, but apparently, my whiteness made them not approve of me, and therefore not actually want to meet me. I didn’t know they didn’t want to meet me, otherwise, I wouldn’t have driven six hours and showed up at their house.

When we knocked on their door, his mother answered, looked at me and said (in Cantonese) “I told you not to bring the white girl here.” More was said in Cantonese (I understood none of it).

To save money, his parents did not have the boiler on, nor did they have heat in the house. Not having a boiler meant not having hot water, and therefore not having showers. To remedy this, they had a membership at 24-hour fitness, where they went every night to have a shower.

They insisted that we go to 24-hour fitness for a shower, literally 15 minutes after showing up at their house. 24-hour fitness has communal showering. I’m absolutely terrified of communal showering.

I had to get naked with my boyfriend’s mother, 15 minutes after meeting her. At that point, she had never spoken a word to me in English. The first actual communication she showed me was to thrust a hairdryer in my hands.

Anyway, the next few days were excruciatingly uncomfortable. Next to nothing was said in English at all, and I felt like everybody hated me. I spent several days just being as quiet, submissive, and polite as possible. I was sent to his mother’s garden to pull weeds in the sun for a few hours, and after that, she apparently began liking me.

Later in the week, she decided I needed a checkup at the doctor (for what reason, I don’t know). Turns out she scheduled me for an intimate exam, conducted by a man. A man who I don’t know. A man who spoke in really broken English.

I explained to her that I was not comfortable with any of this. It was horrible and embarrassing.

[deleted]

#19 She Wasn’t Korean Enough For His Dad

I dated a Korean guy for a month or so in high school. I went to his house after school one day and encountered his dad on the sidewalk before we made it there. He looks at me, looks at his son, and begins pointing at me and yelling at him in Korean. I had to awkwardly stand there for about five minutes of them going back and forth before we parted ways and I just went home. Turns out he didn’t want him dating a non-Korean.

jambelaw

#18 Mom Wanted To Get Way Too Close For Comfort

She only had her mother, her father passed away when she was young.

I go to her house to wait for her to get home and meet her mom, she has a bottle of Dewars on the table. Her mom was pleasant (not drunk at the time) and she offers me a drink. I normally don’t drink the hard stuff, but I decided to be polite and take it.

Her mother gets a phone call, apparently, my new girlfriend is going to be about 2 hours late. The mother sits down next to me on the couch and tells me.

Then the unthinkable happens, her mom (not very attractive by the way) puts her hand on my upper thigh. She says we have 2 hours if I’m interested and smiles.

Now at the time, I was only 18, but I had enough common sense to get out real quick.

Meet up with my girlfriend later on that night and don’t even bring up what happened (what good could it do right?).

Two days later my girlfriend shows up at my house and is wide-eyed, her breath is labored (she ran to my house). She tells me that one of her best friends just told her that he had relations with her mom. I ask when it happened, and she said two nights ago.

So made the right choice!

MadLintElf

#17 So Many Roles In One Room

My ex’s mom surprised him with a visit while we were mid-relations. My clothes somehow ended up all over the apartment so I had to come out and greet her wearing nothing but his shirt and pretending it was a dress. She knew. Did I mention she was one of my bosses?

bankergoesrawrr

#16 His Ex Gatecrashed Their Meeting

Oh, I have a good one!

My husband and I are older (40’s) and had been dating about a year before I met his parents for the first time. They live on the other side of the country and flew out to visit him.

His ex-girlfriend found out and showed up at the restaurant, sat down, and dominated the conversation with all of the memories she had with them and my husband.

Awkward as heck.

They can’t stand her but are polite people. Anyway, this chick is a hot mess.

mauxly

#15 It Was Definitely Time To Be Leaving

Her parents had an RV and were on vacation when we met. When they returned home I was having relations with her in the shower. Her mom didn’t expect anyone to be at the house with her and just walked in. We had relations everywhere in the house and she was expecting them home the next day. Her Dad introduced me to his .357 and told me to get the heck out of his house.

I left.

kahunkennyg

#14 Girl Guides Are Good But Not That Good

Oh, I have a good one. It’s not a relationship-type meet the parents, but it’s the worst experience I’ve had with someone’s parents outside of my dysfunctional family.

My friend is the son of one of the Physics professors at my university. So when I got introduced to my future instructor (because I decided to major in Physics), I was forced to make some small talk. He also prepared a lovely dinner for us too!

I had no clue he had three other children in the family so he started talking about them. We talked a lot about how his oldest was in Germany and his second oldest skipped a grade (my friend). I started spacing out and instead focused on the food and how good it was.

At this time, he mentioned that his youngest daughter was at Girl Guides. And right when he said that, I let out the most satisfying “MMMM” to signify that I was really enjoying his food. I then clued back into the conversation and said: “Girl Guides, yeah I like them.” Which was a mistake when I quickly realized what I had just said. I could see my friend holding back laughter, but I just sat there and ate my food in silence.

He gave me this really weird look and I don’t think he’s looked at me the same since even after being my instructor for six upper-level Physics classes. We never spoke of it again, but my friend likes to bring it up every so often.

cooldude1391

#13 A Very Close Call With The Catholics

I met my ex’s mom when I was 15. They were a highly Catholic family and he wasn’t allowed to date. So I would go over after school until it was about time for them to get home. So we’re making out and my shirt and bra come off. Which was pretty escalated for us.

Then we heard a car door slam. He grabs my shirt and bra, hands them to me and tells me to go hide in his closet. So I do. Shirtless. His mom and he talk for what seems like forever just outside the door. She tells him she’s gonna go take a nap so to be quiet. After she went to her room he came and got me. Right as I am trying to get my bra on she steps out of her room and sees me. We broke up soon after.

vivolleyball15

#12 Meet The Parents… And Death

Dated a girl for just a bit, no plans at all to meet her parents at this point. We had just finished having relations for the first time when she got a call from her mom, apparently, they had a little much to drink and needed a sober ride home.

She asked if I minded and I didn’t so we headed to the bar to get them. They were kind enough to be outside waiting for us when we got there. They were both leaning back on a railing above some concrete steps leading to an outside basement entrance. She waves at them and they wave back.

Her dad lost his balance and went backward over the railing. Her mom looked over and just started wailing. Made her stay in the car and call 911 while I went to see what happened. He landed just right on the corner of one of the stairs and split his skull wide open, dead before I ever said a word to him.

That relationship didn’t last very long.

FetusChrist

#11 They Tried To Tip Him

When I began dating my girlfriend I ended up meeting her mother fairly quickly and we got along well; however, it wasn’t until nearly 3 years later that I ended up meeting her father as he was overseas working.

Now, a bit of background on her father, he was a very no-nonsense, straightforward, Buddhist, Asian, Engineer who trained zealously in martial arts. He had raised my girlfriend more akin to a son than a daughter so his expectations in any male his daughters chose as boyfriend were rather high (more so with the daughter I chose to date because she was both his first born and the one he invested the most effort into).

Maybe a month before her mother’s birthday, my girlfriend tells me that her dad will be coming down to stay for a few months so I would finally be properly introduced (beforehand she had only mentioned me in passing). Needless to say, I’m a tad nervous as her father has been built up in my mind to be an amalgamation of Bruce Lee, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bill Gates, and Hercules. It also doesn’t help that I was the last thing an Asian parent would want their daughter to bring home: an Arts major with shaggy hair who dressed like a Bohemian and spent a great deal of the time distracting said daughter (a very talented Molecular Biology student) with video games, city exploration, naps, laziness, pleasures, shenanigans, and fripperies.

The day finally arrives and, as had become the tradition at her household, I bought a cake to celebrate. Lo and behold, who else opens the door but my girlfriend’s father. To be fair he wasn’t nearly as big or as muscled as I imagined (he was in his late 50s) but his build denoted that he had seen quite a few fights in his day (cauliflower ears, thick/muscled torso, toned arms, etc) and, like his offspring, he wore that signature scowl on his face (thankfully I have the unique ability to remove that scowl from my girlfriend’s face). Her father gave me the once over, takes the cake from my hands, gives me a $20, and shuts the door. I’m stunned for a good 15 seconds but I knock again to try and figure out what’s up. Her father again appears, scowl unmoved, and glares at me before shouting back into the apartment, “Mazroll’s girlfriend, grab me my wallet, the delivery boy wants a tip!” Without going over the laughter and horror that my lady friend and her mother had when seeing who the delivery boy was, that was my first encounter with my girlfriend’s father.

[deleted]

#10 Sharks Smell Fear Like His Mom Does

Not so much a story, but before I met his mom, my ex said to me “my mom is like a shark, she can smell fear. So just, you know, like, don’t be scared.”

OH, OKAY.

[deleted]

#9 Choking To Meet You

My girlfriend had me over for dinner at her parent house for the first time. Steak dinner with all of the fixins’. I take my first bite, swallow, immediately start choking. I’m so scared that I’m going to make a bad impression, so I took a drink of water to try to wash it down. Didn’t work, so after about fifteen seconds without a single breath my face turns red, so I start freaking out and point at my throat. So my girlfriend’s mom does the Heimlich maneuver and I throw up all over the floor. Her two miniature schnauzers start licking up the aftermath, girlfriend’s dad puts his napkin down and leaves the room.

quiteright

#8 An Incentive To Keep Swimming

It was the first time I had ever gone to a girlfriend’s house to hang out and meet her parents. It was the summer before my 8th-grade year. Needless to say, HORMONES! so I was an awkward, squeaky barely teenage boy.

Her parents were really excited to meet me because I was the first boy her daughter had ever introduced them to, so they planned a family cookout so I could meet ALL the family. I got there around 5 pm, and, because it was in the country in Ohio, all the adults were already drunk.

To avoid as many drunk family members as possible, my girlfriend and I decided to swim in her pool for most of the night. At around 9 pm, most of her family had left; only her parents remained. They were inside (still drinking) and I and my girlfriend decided we would have some “naughty time” in the pool, which in 8th grade meant me taking off my trunks and her taking off her bottoms. We hid them under the towels on the deck so it wouldn’t be too obvious that I was naked.

After about ten minutes of fun skinny dipping, her parents decided to come out to check on us. However, in their drunken stupor, they decided instead to get in the pool with us. My trunks and my girlfriend’s bottoms weren’t easily accessible while remaining entirely in the pool, so I had to swim around naked while my girlfriend’s parents were in the pool. I never knew how good of a swimmer I was until that day because they never found out! However, I didn’t date her for much longer after that.

thatoneguybrad

#6 The Naked Truth

My boyfriend at the time’s parents were nudists. He did not tell me this in advance. I saw WAY more of his father than necessary within the first 5 seconds than I ever needed to.

I immediately ran back to the car feigning illness. Maybe not the most mature reaction, but can you blame me?

1_2_chachacha

Twitter

#5 The Worst Fears Went Unrealized

The worst for me was meeting my wife’s parents. We’re an interracial couple (BM/WF) and she was afraid her parents would disapprove so she hid me from them the first year. I allowed this to happen because my mother was disowned for the same thing and I wouldn’t make anybody choose their family over myself.

The problem is over that year you start gaining feelings for this person of love, trust, caring, commitment and so on all at the same time knowing you might lose her to some simple stupidity. It was one of the worst years of my life. That’s the bad part, obviously.

Anyway, it passed and then it was a completely normal thing, the parents didn’t care and we’ve been together for over 11 years now. After meeting some of her other family members, I saw where the feelings of uncertainty came from though just glad her parents didn’t fall into that category.

el_monstruo

#4 Too Much Information, Way Too Much

Current boyfriend has extremely Christian and somewhat square parents. They’re very sweet, albeit sheltered. So we have a running joke that he uses me for nothing more than my lady parts. So he texts and tells me he is at his parent’s house. Unbeknownst to me, he hands his iPhone to his mom to look up a brownie recipe at the exact moment that I text him “tell your parents your lady parts say hello :),” which of course popped up. She purportedly shrieked and he now has a cracked screen.

[deleted]

#3 Things Go Dark Quickly

My worst meet the parent’s situation was several years ago. I walk into his house and notice framed photos on the wall. All of them were stills from when they were on the show Wife Swap. That in and of itself is no big deal until I saw the episode, but then father approached me and I stuck out my hand to shake and he just looks me up and down, turns to his son and says, “Is she a subscriber to ‘The Way?'” Later on, we are all having dinner and his sister is telling the parents how she heard I was a prostitute and they attempt to evangelize me.

seinsmignon

#1 They Called The Cops

Went over to pick her up for a first date, met the parents and they seemed nice. While we were out her parents called the cops and told them I kidnapped her. It was really awkward nearly getting arrested.

[deleted]

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