Sure, the puppy love stage of any relationship is great. But, when you’re with someone for the long-term, your bond is only solidified as time goes on. Just when you think you can trust someone, though, significant others know how to surprise you.
She punched me while I was sleeping. Apparently, my phone had woken her when I received a text in the middle of the night from a girl asking if there was any chance I could come pick her up. She assumed I was dating someone else and figured that the most efficient way of addressing her concerns was to just attack me while I laid there sleeping. The text was from a cousin who had some sort of semi-emergency and needed to get picked up from a party.
We started dating in high school and had some ups and downs, but at the time I just chalked it up to us being immature. My last two years of college really proved he just had serious issues. When I moved out of state for good, it was like a switch flipped and he got extremely possessive and controlling.
He wanted all my friends’ numbers and gave me a schedule of when we “need to be in communication.” If I missed any, he would blow my phone up with threats. I finally got the restraining order when he showed up to my friends’ apartment looking for me, threatening to call the police because I still had a pair of his shoes (that I didn’t even have).
My fiancé was arrested for explicit material. It was over when I finally learned why Homeland Security and the county police department had raided my house. I had to take our four-year-old daughter for an evaluation, thankfully she wasn’t harmed. His ex-girlfriend bailed him out of jail. I worked with agents to record him confessing everything to me.
I will never forget the nonsense that I had to hear in response to some messed up questions they had me ask him. I learned he talked about our daughter online to other sickos. I also learned that he even tried to buy a very young girl from her mother. He went to prison last month for 25 years on a plea bargain.
We were spending a large amount of time together, with me staying at his house several nights of the week. He went mad one day because he said we weren't "spending enough time together." He pulled out a notepad and drew up a schedule, outlining in excruciating detail each hour that I would spend with him throughout the week from then on. I distinctly remember sitting there, saying nothing and feeling like I was in the Twilight Zone. Things got significantly crazier from then on, but this moment always sticks out in my mind.
I was young, dumb, and thought I was in love and ignored many red flags. As he got more comfortable around me, he let his crazy out. It took me another year and a half to leave. I did try breaking up with him, but he told me that if I ever tried to break up with him again, he'd hurt everyone I love and then himself so I'd know what it was like to be alone. That relationship ended in an order of protection against domestic violence. He was nuts.
I was dating a guy who was very sweet in the beginning. After about six months, he got possessive. He didn't trust me. An example of this was one night I told him I was meeting a friend I used to work with a block away. We lived in a safe area and it was a short walk. Her name sounded like it could be male or female, but I assured him she was a she. He showed up while we were there and it made him look very insecure.
For whatever reason, he then began tracking my phone's GPS. I found this out when I stopped at a relative's house after work on my way home. He freaked out and called my mom. My mom actually knew that was where I was, yet he had a hard time believing I wasn't with someone else. The last straw was my first week at a new job.
I worked nights and had my phone. I got this long-winded email regarding an innocent comment on a Facebook selfie of me. There were screenshots of it and a huge manifesto about why my buddies online all wanted to take me away from him. After I broke up with him, I got emails for months swinging between apologies and telling me I was the abuser. It was insane.
I graduated. She wanted to transfer schools. So, we moved to a college town where she told me she'd been accepted as a transfer. Turns out, she hadn't been accepted and when she applied, was not accepted. She got a job at Walmart while trying to figure out her next move. After about two months, she decided that we should move to Pittsburgh. She was convinced this would solve all her problems and make her happy… except we were in a recession and I just got my first good job. I didn’t want to move.
She became abusive. I didn't want to go home. She was constantly negative and on the edge of a screaming fight. I was just avoiding her at the end. We were together for four years before that and she was always moody, but nothing more. Six months after that, she went to her hometown to take a semester at a local school and stay with her parents. I called her two weeks later and told her not to come back. It had been like a weight was lifted from me. I never wanted to see her again.
We met online. We both had video games in common and hit it off. Fast forward two years and we got engaged. All was well until he started getting hurtful toward me and our pets. I felt stuck because I couldn't afford to live on my own. Then, he went on a business trip and I found explicit material on a hidden flash drive. I turned it in and he got arrested. Turns out, he was also hiring women and stuff. He’s in prison and it’s illegal for him to contact me.
A guy I was dating rammed my truck with a moving van, repeatedly, at an immigration checkpoint in New Mexico, well after dark. He thought it was funny. He’d been behaving badly, but I just thought it was the stress of the move. The aggravated assault by U Haul is when I decided to break up with him. He stalked me for years after that, harassing me at work, which led to me getting fired.
I switched from law firms to legal software and that seemed to make it harder to find me. His stalking ended in blowing up a brick and mortar mailbox with plastic explosives. I think he laid low after that because the FBI was looking for him. He eventually moved back to California, years later. An ex-girlfriend of his contacted me about seven years later when she was settling his estate. She wanted to make sure there weren’t any children.
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I started dating someone not long after a previous relationship. At first, everything was amazing and I did everything for her. For my 21st birthday, we went to Alton Towers with two of my friends (one boy and one girl) and we stayed over at the hotel. We were all in the same room having a laugh when suddenly my girlfriend stormed out of the room for no reason.
Rightly so, I followed her back to our room to ask what was up. Before I could even finish my sentence, she punched me square in the face, got me to the floor and kicked me. I asked why and she said it was because I was apparently “always looking at my (girl) friend.” In the morning, we set off for home and I assumed all was well. We dropped my friends off and as I pulled up to her house, she kicked my windshield, cracking it. I’m not sure why I stayed with her for a month after this as she scratched at my face when I accepted an old school friend on Facebook.
We were actually engaged to be married. Then she went on holiday without me and came back pregnant. She told me, "You have never done anything to prove you really love me… accept this baby and help me raise it to prove it." I declined and asked her to leave the home that I paid for. She refused. So I made arrangements, cancelled my lease, then left and told her there were four days left on the lease. She wailed, "But what am I supposed to do? I don't have a job!"
After being beaten down mentally by her, I started suffering from erectile dysfunction at 22 years old. Eventually, I mustered the courage to leave her. She quickly moved on to someone else (who would later become her husband) and called me every week to basically rub it in. I moved out of state, changed my number, and never heard from her again.
She called my parents and even showed up at their home, but they told her to go away. About 10 years later, my friend ran into an old friend of hers. Apparently, my ex got arrested for attacking her own mother. She got out of jail, went after her husband, then tried to take their kids from him. She was arrested again and later released. Guess I dodged a huge bullet there.
She was unreasonably hot. I feel I'm good looking, but she was just stupid beautiful. She found out my ex's name somehow, without my knowledge, found her Facebook and started sending her threatening messages. I have no idea why. She then deleted every female number from my phone. All my relatives except my mother and aunts that were listed as such.
Her hotness made me continue with her for another three weeks after this. She said that she has issues, but being pretty means that most guys put up with it. And I needed to just deal with it. Ending it with her felt more like trying to explain complex mathematics to a donkey. She wouldn't accept it for ages. I respected her self awareness about how psycho she was though. She made it clear what I was signing up for. I just didn't want to listen.
I knew it was time to leave my ex almost immediately after he did something stupid. He pushed a little girl in a store because she tried to pet his emotional support dog. Instead of just picking up the dog, he put hands on her. There’s a lot more, but that sticks out the most. I recently found out he was arrested again.
I started dating a woman who agreed with me on the idea of being childless. I was 100% certain, and still am, almost 25 years later, that I did and do not want children. We commence dating. Two months into dating, she told me that I had to quit my job — that paid very well — and get an even higher-paying job immediately if not sooner.
She also said that I had to purchase her a large house in Connecticut and that I had to get her pregnant immediately with the first of ten — yes, ten — children she wanted by me. She wasn’t kidding. I think I invented ghosting at that moment. After all, it was 1994. How hard did I ghost her? I moved from NY to AZ overnight. I vanished.
I was with a guy who was seven years older than me. One day, I came home from work and was told that my underage half-sister claimed that he tried to kiss her. He was out of it and passed out. I couldn’t wake him up to get his side of the story. So, I packed up his stuff in his car and made him leave when he woke up. I think we were together for three years and that's how it ended.
My relationship with my ex in university seemed really great. He loved me a lot, was super attentive and I even went on holiday with his family. I thought we'd eventually marry and start a family. Long story short, when I got busy with school and didn't see him as often, he started getting clingy and jealous of everyone (including my female friends).
I tried to break up with him probably three times before he accepted it. I explained how I wanted to focus on my studies and the situation wasn’t good for either of us. The last time, he seemed to understand my point and we remained friends. This also didn't last long and he eventually started stalking me online and in person. He’d also constantly bother my friends.
He managed to go to my senior year party, even though he wasn't in my year. Eventually, he texted me calling me a bad person, that I had gone behind his back, you name it. He also told this to all our mutual friends, so that was fun. He acted like a total lunatic, begging for me to reconsider a friendship after that. Obviously, there was no chance for that. The last straw was him showing up at the graduation ceremony, making it awkward for me and all my family.
I dated this girl from halfway across the globe and we actually met up. We had a great time, she got along great with my parents, and plans were made for me to head down there the next year. Somewhere along the line, though, we got into more and more online arguments, combined with me feeling heavily inadequate and some other things.
Around February of the following year, I broke things off. I felt bad, but I could've never continued that relationship. Then in August of that year, me, my sister and my mother were walking downtown and we suddenly saw her. She'd flown over in hopes of mending the relationship, even went out to see my father (though he wasn't home).
Date one went super well. She was very pretty and witty. We got along great. On the second date, I found out she was engaged to not one, not two, not three, but nine different guys. She’s 24 years old. Red flags were everywhere and I was just trying not to make the rest of the date awkward. Then, it got into children somehow and said I’d make great babies. We finished the date, I was kind to her and promptly didn’t see her again.
We started dating in middle school and he was my first boyfriend, so I was head over heels. I was constantly told by other people that he was seeing a bunch of people. I finally broke up with him after three years. After we broke up was when he went nuts. He broke into my house while I was at school. He would then wait outside my house on the front steps every day because he got out of class earlier than me.
When I finally got a job, he started showing up there. Once I started dating my recent boyfriend, he would continue to make up lies and tell my current boyfriend all these rumors. He would corner me at school and push me up against walls. I really dodged a bullet there. He still is crazy and continues to message me on Instagram six years later. As if I’ll ever answer.
I was told that it was okay to hang out with a friend for a few hours, but more than that wasn’t okay. I invited him to join, we were just hanging out, chatting and watching TV, but he didn't ever want to hang out with my friends. He wanted just him and me. He then informed me that his mother agreed that a few hours with my friends is more than enough time. Uh, no.
We were in a long-distance relationship for over three years and eventually, it started to fizzle. She’d tell me to move to the States and drop my college degree, my family and my animals to live as an illegal immigrant. She said I could just do whatever odd jobs I could find to be with her. I told her I needed to wait, but she’d get very upset every time I went out with friends and would bombard my Facebook wall. She’d also send me private messages with passive-aggressive insults and threats.
I broke it off with her and moved on, but she kept messaging me asking to be friends. I tried but she’d randomly blow up at me insulting me for ruining her life by making her think she could be loved. I told her she did deserve love and she’d get even more upset. We couldn’t talk at all. Last year, she messaged me yet again (we broke up in 2013) telling me that I had an obligation to marry her since I said I would five years ago. She expected me to fly up there and fulfill my obligation to her. I had to block her.
I was dating a guy who I really liked. He was smart, funny, and adventurous. We were getting pretty serious, he pretty much lived at my house. One weekend, I went home for my dad's birthday. All of my brothers were home, I have five of them. One of my sister-in-laws took some pictures and posted them on Facebook with me tagged in them. Got back to my house Sunday evening and my boyfriend was coming over to spend the night. When he got there, he was basically frothing at the mouth.
He shoved me and called me names. He started pushing me around ranting about how he had to see me exposing myself all over the internet and hanging on a bunch of guys. I told him they were my brothers, but at that point, I was done with him. I told him to get out of my house. He took that as an invitation to try to force me to kiss him. My roomie heard the commotion and came out of her room with a bat. Then he made the only good decision he made that day and decided to leave.
I threw all his stuff in a dumpster. He ended up stalking me for years. Showing up at places I'd moved to after we dated. Calling after I'd changed my number. He even texted me on the week of my wedding to ask me to reconsider marrying him instead. Yeah, you crazy jerk. I want to dump the love of my life for a crazy stalker.
I started dating this amazing girl, but she was just getting out of a harmful marriage and I was her first female partner. She started showing up at my work with flowers and coffee, which was sweet, but I had never told her where my office was. Then, she started showing up at my house at all hours and would get upset when I needed to sleep (I worked graves). She then wanted me to meet her daughters, which I wasn't comfortable with because we were in the first stages of a relationship.
I decided to break it off. She was too needy, which was understandable coming from someone who had just left a bad relationship and discovered their sexuality. But, I wasn't the person that could guide her. She decided that I was just afraid of love and started leaving books of poetry on my porch and long letters in my mailbox.
I finally had to call law enforcement after I came home to her in my bed. She had taken a ladder to my second-storey room window (I lived with roommates) and broken in. I found her in my bed. She proceeded to tell me that I was the only thing keeping her alive. I cut off all contact, but I truly hope that she has gotten some help and is doing well. She was a wonderful woman, but so, so broken.
What started as “I got out of a long, harmful relationship” started to trickle out over time as, “And it ended a week before I met you. Oh, and it was my high school sweetheart. Oh, and it was a marriage. It was my only relationship ever. Oh, and I was the bad guy.” When his brief time out of work turned out to have really been years and other lies were surfacing, I was already trying to get myself out.
By then, the whole fake personality he had constructed had disintegrated. When I dumped him, he called me every name in the book, then proposed, then threatened himself. I had a friend with me with the engine running and everyone knew where I was. Warned his mom of what happened. For months he would leave voicemails of himself sobbing. His next ex looked me up and called me for help when she dumped him.
I started dating this girl during my junior year of high school. We dated for about eight months when she started becoming a huge flirt. I don’t judge, but it’s not something I could emotionally handle, so I called it off. I started getting closer to one of my best friends as she was a huge support during the breakup. I eventually caught feelings. My ex didn’t like that. Late one night, I saw her flexing on Instagram and in the comments, she threatened two anonymous people. I went to the dean’s office at school the next day, she got arrested and spent the night in jail. I actually did end up giving a no-contact order.
When we lived apart, we spoke every day. We ran up huge phone bills in the days when texting cost money beyond a certain number of messages and everyone just had flip phones. We had a lot in common. We loved the same movies, books, games, food. It was college and I thought I'd somehow managed to find the perfect woman.
She hit me for the first time about two weeks after we moved in together. I'm a guy, about 6', at the time close to 200 pounds. She was about 5'2", maybe 115 pounds. I was pretty quickly terrified of someone I could hurt if I tripped and landed on them. I also have depression issues, so her telling me I deserved it pretty much agreed with what I was telling myself. The mental and physical harm went on for about two years before I realized that wasn't what love was meant to be like. Breaking up with her put me in the hospital.
He had a psychotic break, trapped me in the house for nearly three months and almost put me in the hospital twice. He stalked me for five years after I got away from him. I hope every bad thing happens to him. Last thing I heard from him was seven years after the fact. He was homeless and used his SSI checks to call me up and tell me we were meant to be together. I'll crush him if I ever see him again.
My high school girlfriend of seven years started getting involved with substances. She stole my grandfather's watch, which I had since I was a kid, and the engagement ring I intended to propose with. I didn't need a restraining order out of her being violent or crazy toward me. She just broke my heart and I never wanted to see her again. To clarify, I did not get a restraining order or think about getting one. I just wanted her out of my life.
I dated a chick years ago. She was essentially everything I thought I wanted in a girl. She was cute, funny, liked just enough things I liked for us to have common interests, but just different enough to show each other new things and experiences. I was heavy into her and she was heavy into me. Then things got… weird. She started getting jealous of high school friends I'd known way before her and even went as far as telling me I wasn't allowed to hang out with some of my female friends except for the few she thought were uglier than her.
Things got worse. She started getting jealous of inanimate objects like my game consoles and video games, some of which she gave me. It came to a head when my grandmother asked me to watch her dog. She was a tiny hand dog that I adored. One day, I was half asleep and saw her literally kick this tiny dog off my bed, like with her feet. I asked her what her problem was and she told me that she didn’t like that I gave the dog more attention than her.
Things got even worse. She would physically attack me when I did things she didn't like. Eventually, everything I did she didn't like. After a while, I got the courage to dump her and she tried to tell me that she was pregnant to keep me, which was an obvious lie. After that, I discovered she'd still stalk my Facebook page and told some friends that I was the one who hurt her.
It was a heat wave and our terrible apartment didn’t have AC. I suggested we get one. Apparently, this was a trigger for him and he flipped out yelling that I was too fussy and there were plenty of ways to stay cool. I was kind of too stunned to reply. He then dragged me (fully dressed) into the shower and held me under cold water. He was a foot taller than me and stronger, so I couldn’t do much about it. I joke now that he poured cold water on the relationship, but honestly I was utterly terrified. I don’t miss my early 20s.
My soon-to-be-ex just moved six hours away for school. She has formulated a "criteria" for me to follow, one video chat a day, must always reply to texts, etc. She also says, "I love you" way too much, although we’ve been together one and a half years. She still finds a way to weasel it in every second conversation. It's exhausting for me and feels like a chore rather than a fun relationship. She’s overly emotional and has said she would go nuts if anything prevented her from having me.
My ex-fiance said she was going to a basketball game with a friend. Days went by and I ran into said friend. She had no idea what I was talking about when I asked about the game. She told me that my fiance went with a male co-worker. I have no problem with her going with a male friend, but the lying was the red flag that made me want to confront her. So, I did just that she immediately accused me in retaliation. The fight continued and finally she admitted that she was planning to leave as soon as we had taken a trip to PR that I had been planning. When she realized I was going to kick her out and cancel the trip, she lost her mind and trashed my apartment.
I was super into a guy who was very sweet. He knew the right things to say, was very supportive and attentive. My friends and family liked him. Then after the third year together, he became more controlling. Every time someone called me, he’d demand to know who it was and would sometimes take the phone to hear their voice, just to make sure. If my jeans accentuated my butt too much, he’d tell me to change. No lipstick allowed. Couldn’t talk to any men unless it was absolutely necessary.
I don’t know what happened. He completely changed. When I had had enough, I asked him what happened. And his response was that he cared so much for me that he didn’t want to lose me or someone to take me away from him. I only lasted putting up with that for about two months and then I completely cut things off with him.
A female family member dated a guy who, at first, seemed completely normal. Later on, he would throw tantrums whenever a guy would check out my relative. This guy also somehow blamed her for everything and would publicly drop to the ground and start crying like a baby, even though he’s an adult in his mid 20’s.
We were going to sleep in her bed and she didn't want me to go to sleep, so she kept shaking me awake. Every time I fell asleep, she would shake me awake. It turned into this weird nightmare where she just wouldn't let me fall asleep and I was stuck between sleep and awake. The crazy part was she was enjoying it. She was just enjoying tormenting me. I thought it was strange and it really freaked me out, so I just left.
He started as this sexy, sweet, funny guy. Then he started lying to me, going with other women, using me for money. After we broke up, he accused me of attacking him, messaged me with thinly veiled threats, etc. I went to get a restraining order and was told that nothing could be done until after he'd done something, or made a direct, unveiled threat on my life.
He proposed. I should’ve jumped ship when he told me I was only allowed to wear skirts when he was around. I was only allowed certain friends, only allowed to go out during certain times. The straw that broke the camel's back was when he thought I was flirting with one of his friends (I was not) and he shoved me. We were in university, and although people saw, no one came to my defense. Months later, I found out he had another fiancé in a different country. He ended up marrying her. I lucked out.
I met this guy when I was 15 and he was 18. Red flag central. We hit it off pretty well and ended up dating. He had a really tragic life, told me in detail about being from a different country and having sisters who passed tragically in a car crash. I spent four and a half years building a life with him and helping him work through all of that trauma. He progressively got more and more mentally hurtful, but always blamed it on PTSD. It eventually came out that he lied about all of it. I went from having my whole life planned with this person to being terrified of going to the movies in case I ran into him.
He sent explicit pictures of me to my father because he thought I was going behind his back with someone else (I wasn’t). I went to the police, but at the time, there was nothing they could do despite him admitting it. It technically wasn’t illegal at the time. But stupid, young, dumb me married him anyway a few years later. We divorced after almost four years.
For absolutely no reason (as far as I can tell), we were two months in and she suddenly got very distant and weird. She basically started acting like we weren't even dating, wouldn't trust me at all, and refused to try and show any feelings towards me, especially in public. Even when we were alone, she just wasn't showing it anymore.
She was my first ever girlfriend, so not only did it completely shock and terrify me into thinking something was wrong with myself, but it also has made me fearful of initiating further relationships. She made me break us up after dragging me through the mud for another two months after that. She gave me a slight fear of opening up to anyone else. Absolutely maddening.
We started out head over heels for each other. We started dating at 16 and by 18, we were in love. I found out for a fact her home life was terrible. I knew I wanted to marry her, so I proposed and talked to my mother about us both living with her until we graduated college. It was all set, but she was too scared and wouldn’t move in with me.
She ended up giving me the ring back a year and a half later. We ended up dating on and off again until I was 22. Throughout that time, I grew and moved to a town over for a different college. Meanwhile, she stayed at her terrible home having her parents take a majority of her paycheck and becoming more of the same type of person she always was.
This last time we broke up, she went a whole ton of crazy and yelled at me over the phone because I had to move in with two friends of mine that were girls (they were lesbians, which I told her). She yelled that we were never dating anyway and that I was going to the underworld for how bad of a person I am. And that’s that I guess.
I spent all my free time with a girl for four or five months. I met her kid, parents, other family, etc. I then found out she was talking to a couple of other guys. When I asked what she really wanted out of us, her reply was, "Talk, hang out like we have been, relations whenever I want and talk to other people." Naw girl, I'm good.
We were married and it ended in a restraining order. I didn't learn what a healthy relationship was when I was younger and wanted a home and family. So, I married someone I shouldn't have. I wasn't particularly young or "dumb" in a traditional sense, but I didn't notice so many red flags. I left after he threatened me. I realized that I had been living in the cycle of bad behavior, but I didn't have that many people to confide in about what had been escalating for years. I confided in a few friends and got out. I’m much happier now.
One night while we were on a drive, he casually told me that if he ever needed to dispose of a body, he’d dump it at a tallow works. I guess because the lye would help with decomposition? He said the body would “disappear without a trace.” He also told me on another occasion that his ex had accused him of trying to hurt her. Turns out he was a textbook sociopath and I’m just waiting for that knock on the door from the FBI when he finally snaps.
I wouldn't go as far as to say I wanted to marry this person, but I really liked him. He was a really nice guy, studying for his doctorate and did a lot of volunteer work. I ended up moving across the country, but we continued to talk until he was arrested for taking inappropriate pictures of high school girls without their knowledge.
I can admit that, toward the end, that relationship made monsters out of both of us. That said, I didn’t go around trying to destroy all the friendships we mutually had with others, saying that she’d threatened me, acted menacingly, or that I should get a restraining order. She did. She’s the only person, to this day, who has ever looked me in the eye, called me some of the most despicable things I’ve ever heard uttered, and later claimed to be terrified.
I had been broken up with my ex-girlfriend for a bit, but we stayed friends on social media. My new girlfriend was uncomfortable with my ex being able to see what I was doing. I didn’t think it was a big deal, nor did I think she was even interested in what I was doing. I obliged and deleted her from my Facebook. Within five minutes, I got a message from her saying, “Why did you delete me from Facebook?!” So, yeah. I’m glad I listened.
We would be driving around town when she saw signs for some festival or concert. Then she would say, “Stop right now, let’s go.” 18-year-old me thought it was cool and agreed. She's a free spirit. That is until she asked too many times and when I said no, she would jump from my car when we were at a stoplight and hitchhike. She’d be gone for days.
One time, my ex-girlfriend actually showed me her mom's 10-year-old pregnancy test of her sibling and claimed she was pregnant when I wanted to end it. I asked her mom to come up to the room and pretended we were celebrating. I then learned that the pregnancy test was 10 years old. Her mom's facial expression was priceless.
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