Kids are responsible for some pretty wild things. While it’s easy to dismiss most instances as childhood curiosity, some scenarios only worsen the more we think about it. From flipping off people in church to further soiling piles of laundry, these are some of the worst things people did as children.
#1 Practical Joke
I thought it would be a great practical joke to bury a corn holder, pointy side up, in my yard and wait for someone to step on it. Of course, being a kid, I lost interest after a time and forgot. Sometime later in the summer, while walking barefoot, I stepped on it. Jeez, that hurt. I learned a valuable lesson about practical jokes.
#2 Robot Clone
When I was six or so, I convinced the girl who lived next door, who was a bit challenged and a few years older, that I had built a robot clone of myself. I would go inside and come back out acting like a robot, complete with glitchy speech and movement. Then, when I got tired of pretending to be a robot, I would tell her I needed to "recharge" and switch back.
#3 Little Brother
When I was younger, I once gave my little brother Ex-Lax and told him it was chocolate. This all happened when we weren’t even ten years old yet. Don’t get me wrong, I knew that it would give him diarrhea, but I didn’t know how badly. I won’t lie, it was pretty messed up and I felt absolutely terrible about it.
#4 Boyfriend’s Drink
I tried to lace my mom's boyfriend’s drink once. I was probably around 11 when this happened. I had one of those awesome science kits from the Scholastic book fair. So, I took the citric acid and dumped the whole container into his drink. He sipped it and just said, "Ugh, this tastes awful" and dumped it out.
#5 He’s Mine Now
In seventh grade, my best friend asked me to ask the boy she liked if he felt the same way about her and would go out with her. I went over and asked him if he liked her, to which he said no. Then I asked if he liked me, to which he said yes. I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes. Then I went right back to my friend and told her that he didn't like her, but that he liked me and was now my boyfriend. I don't know why I did that.
#6 Cleaning the Evidence
I was pretty young when this happened, maybe 13 years old? I was in a hot tub with my friends and I thought I had to fart… only, it wasn’t a fart. As you can imagine, I wound up not farting in my bathing suit, but didn’t want to get caught. So, I casually grabbed it with my hand and while no one was looking I dropped it behind the hot tub.
#7 Put Your Hand in the Air...
My sister told me that flipping the middle finger was "swearing at God" when I was around five. But, I thought she meant "swearing to God," as in it was something you were supposed to do when you made promises. I used to walk around church with my middle finger up until some kind teenager gently told me to put it away.
#8 Going for a Ride
I dropped a rope out of my second-storey window, tied it to a plastic tricycle, asked my neighbor if he wanted to go for a ride, and lifted him up to the window with the help of my brother and sister. Then, we dropped him and caught the rope before he hit the ground. It was stupid, but none of us had parents responsible enough to watch us or teach us anything.
#9 Notebook Doodles
I had a notebook that I proceeded to fill with drawings, each page was like a comic book scene. My notebook told the pictorial story of a woman getting pregnant and giving birth with graphic detail. Well, as much detail as I could muster. I was only seven years old at the time and had a limited understanding of how birth worked.
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#10 Joke Cupcake
Some kid at lunch would keep stealing my break time snack at school. So, one day my parents baked a chocolate cupcake with Ex-Lax on the top. They gave me strict instructions not to eat it, even if it didn't get stolen. Well, it worked like a charm. I didn't get my cake stolen again after that. That kid was the worst.
#11 Sewing Machine
My cousin and I were around seven or so and playing upstairs in a room by ourselves. My aunt left her sewing machine there, ready to go. We were fascinated by how fast the needle moved up and down when we stepped on the foot pedal. Then, we had the bright idea to see who could get their finger out of the way before the needle started moving. He went. It was safe. I went. It was safe. He went… he didn’t pull his hand away fast enough and we both wound up screaming.
#12 Pants on Fire
When I was in the second grade, I told a lot of people that my teacher was poking students with pencils. Naturally, the other students were brought in, one at a time, and questioned about the incident. This did not happen and I remember the teacher quite fondly as a matter of fact. I have no idea why I did it.
#13 Boyfriend Snatcher
My friend had a boyfriend. So, I thought it was cool to like him even if I didn’t. I asked him whenever he was done being her boyfriend if he’d want to be mine. He dumped her and started “dating” me. We were in the third grade. I never understood why she was mad at me. I was such an idiot.
#14 Gully Romance
When I was 13 the blizzard of ‘93 rolled through, holding me captive for two weeks with my family. I was lonely and hadn't seen a female in two whole weeks. I was longing to get out of the house one day when I had one of the most brilliant ideas. I made my way to the woods behind my house and climbed down into a gully. In that gully is where I made her, a snow woman.
She was amazing. I gave her some curves and for some reason, a smile and two rocks for eyes to gaze into. I removed my gloves and got busy. When I finished, I brushed myself off and erased her. I then climbed out of the gully, through the woods and back to my room.
#15 Getting Revenge
Back when I was in the first grade, I used to have a couple of bullies who would go out of their way to terrorize me. One day, they decided it would be a good idea to strap me to a bench and abandon me there. For kicks, I guess. So you know what I did? I wet my pants right then and there. They never bothered me again.
#16 Animal Tails
I would make animal tails out of paper, tape them to my butt, then pretend I was said animal and run around on all fours. I would even make animal noises. Once, while pretending to be a ring-tailed lemur, I pranced straight into a closed glass patio door. Maybe that smacked the furry out of me (I didn’t grow up to be one).
#17 Couple o’ Ruffians
My friend and I ripped and stole pages out of a neighbor's Cosmo. We were 10-year-old girls at the time and got totally busted by my parents. That same friend and I also got into a different neighbor’s trash bags after Thanksgiving and decided to sample some of their leftovers. Kids are so strange.
#18 Schoolmate’s Sunglasses
When I was in first grade, a girl wouldn’t let me in her club. So, the next morning our teacher took away her sunglasses because she was wearing them during class. During recess, I snuck into the classroom and placed the sunglasses in the girl’s desk. Then I told the teacher when we got back that I saw her take her sunglasses back during recess.
My teacher believed me, but the girl vehemently denied it when she was questioned about it later. To see if she was lying, the teacher then pushed down her desk and, of course, the sunglasses were there. She got in trouble for not only stealing, but for lying about it. No one ever found out it was me all along.
#19 That One Kid
When I was around four, I remember my older sister (who was eight) playing around with the sewing machine. I got curious and stuck my finger right under the needle. I also tried to touch the fire while she was warming up milk on a gas stove. I was the idiot child who wanted to know what everything was and felt like. I’m surprised that I only have tiny scars here and there.
#20 Wash Your Mouth Out
I grew up in the ‘80s, so every time I swore my parents threatened to wash my mouth out with a bar of soap. I got tired of hearing it, so the next time they made the threat I went to the bathroom and came back with a bar of soap. With a smile on my face, I proceeded to scrub my mouth with it. Can't make it a punishment if I enjoy it.
#21 Snow in the Forecast
I still remember this one time I once threw two big bags of hamster bedding through my fan and acted like a news forecaster. With all that fluff, I pretended like it was snowing. My poor parents then woke up to see my room being covered in over an inch of bedding. Needless to say, I didn’t own the hamster anymore.
#22 Tunnel With Leaves
In eighth grade, during the fall, my friends and I were hanging out in this tunnel filled with dry leaves. As we sat on the walls of the tunnel, I was mindlessly throwing matches into the leaves. I had this weird obsession with fire since I was really young. I was spacing out just staring at the little flames until my friend grabbed me and pointed out how fast it was spreading. We started stomping on the leaves and the fire just kept spreading. We looked at the openings of the tunnel and black smoke was just pouring out of both ends.
My friends and I ran away. The way our neighbourhood worked, we could see the tunnel from my friend’s house without being seen by anyone else. The tunnel had a massive flame coming out of both ends. I can't believe how bad the fire was. But, it was in a remote area. There wasn't anything close to it that could burn down. All things considered, it was pretty harmless and luckily I never got caught.
#23 You Donkey
My sister and I would ask our friends a question from time to time. If they answered wrong, we would say things like, "You donkey!" and ride the person while making donkey noises. We’d say, "Walk, donkey!” and so on. A friend once said New York was the capital of the States and we rode him for half an hour.
#24 Master of the Sun
I once tried to look at the sun with a magnifying glass. I was looking at leaves and stuff up close and was amazed at the level of detail. That's when I got the bright (no pun intended) idea to look at the sun. My retina is fine. Though, I’ll admit that it obviously hurt immediately, so I flinched pretty quick.
#25 Damaged Dolls
When I decided I was done playing with my dolls, my brother and I hung them on the dartboard and used them for practice. My friends and cousins would come over and we'd shoot darts at the dolls. It was a good time. One of the dolls had a loose head, as well, so my cousin and I would just throw it around for hours. We’d then get the adults to put the head back on every time it fell off. Then, we started again.
My cousins lived off a pretty major street when we were growing up. We would put logs in the road for cars to run over. We like it because it would make a loud sound when it went off and hit the bottom of their car. We did this for a while until a motorcycle almost ran over it and we realized how dangerous it was.
#27 Grandma’s Ring
I stole my deceased maternal grandmother’s $30k engagement ring and lost it on the playground when I was six years old. My parents were losing the house at the time. My only reason for doing it was that I liked holding shiny things. I then soon forgot about it. We were basically almost homeless because of what I did.
#28 Rebel Child
I once used the washroom in a bottle of iced tea to make it look like iced tea before I gave it to my sister. She threw it out immediately. I also used to wipe grime on the walls when my parents got divorced. Then, I pencilled myself black one day in eighth grade before they suspended me. I was a rebel child who hated everything.
#29 Apple Skins
My parents used to peel my apples because apparently kids can have trouble swallowing and chewing the skin. Well, I didn’t like that one bit. Frankly, I was rather upset that I wasn’t allowed to eat the apple skin. So, when they weren’t looking, I used to pluck the skin right out of the garbage can and eat it.
#30 April Fools...
I once replaced my mom's sugar with salt on April Fool's in time for her morning coffee. She was separated, but not divorced, and teetering on the edge trying to make it work for her kids. As she took her first sip we giggled and shouted, "April Fools!" and she burst into tears. I am still sorry I did that. We were so clueless. She did not deserve our stupidity.
#31 Mom’s New Beau
I was absolutely terrible to the first man my mom dated after she and my father split. Like, really terrible. I once told the man, in the middle of dinner and apropos of nothing, that I hated him and hoped he got in a car wreck on the way home. I said it calmly with a straight face. That man did nothing wrong and was always good to me. I still feel terrible about it more than 20 years later.
#32 Dad’s Signature
I once got detention in the sixth grade. They gave me a slip that I had to make my parents sign so they would know that I had gotten detention. So, I went home and forged a signature (naturally) to avoid getting into further trouble. I forged my dad's signature, who happened to be deployed in Iraq at the time.
#33 Ding Dong Ditch
My friends and I were out riding our bikes and saw a squirrel on the road. Kid logic determined that picking up that carcass with some sticks, carrying it to a random front step and doing a ding dong ditch was a good idea. About a week later, we noticed a “For Sale” sign on that house. To this day, I'm suspicious this poor family thought they were being targeted by some sociopath and noped out of there.
#34 New Son
We decided to become a foster family. My dad was at work, mom was at the grocery, and 16-year-old me was home alone when DSS made the fateful call. I sound exactly like my dad, so they thought I was him. They told us, “We got an 18-month-old boy, do you want him?” I then responded, “We said we'd be a foster family for you, so yeah, sure, we want him.” They then said, “Great, he'll be there in 30 minutes.”
So, I called dad at the office and told him that we needed some stuff from the grocery that wasn't on mom's list. I asked him if he could pick it up for the house as soon as he could. He then asked what we needed so bad that it couldn’t wait. I just told him, “Diapers.” And that's the way I told my dad about his new son.
#35 Rearranging the Furniture
My dad had bad OCD and made the family miserable because of it. As a teenager, on Fridays after school, I would rearrange the furniture in the house or his precious tools in his workshop and then disappear for the weekend. As an adult, I realize he couldn't control it, he loved us deep down and I feel guilty about it. But, at the time, it was hilarious to me and my siblings and felt good.
#36 Christmas Ornaments
I was playing with some glass Christmas ornaments and rolling them on the ground because I thought they were balls to play with. That is until one smashed into bits. I knew I had done wrong, so I hid the mess under the couch and ran into my room to hide for hours. I don’t think my mom ever found who broke them because I never got into trouble for it.
#37 High School Hacker
In 10th grade, I found the password to access everything on all the public network drives. The thing I did was access random students’ essay files on their “private” storage and randomly added in horrible sentences with profanity in the middle of paragraphs. Eventually, I got caught and lost my computer privileges for a while, but they only punished me for installing a game like Scorched Earth on the drive, which I didn't actually do.
#38 Childhood Logic
On President's Day in first grade, I drew a picture of Honest Abe and George Washington just wrecking each other in a fight. Thank God this was at home, not at school. I should mention that I was not a disturbed girl. I loved dolls and stickers and the usual little girl things. I also loved drawing. For some reason, I assumed that because they'd both been presidents, they'd have automatically hated each other and, apparently, engaged in some sort of battle.
#39 Friendly Game
I used to trade punches with my classmate who was known to be the strongest puncher in my school. We even ranked our other classmates’ punching strength because of high school hierarchy nonsense. We just had fun that way. We’d talk about Playstation games and punch each other. The best one I remember was when we accidentally met in college. We just politely excused ourselves from our respective groups, walked calmly toward each other, then just exchanged punches while smiling like maniacs. We got weird stares.
#40 Perfect Sense
My family had a dirty clothes pile because we didn't have a basket or anything like that. We'd pile clothes near the washer and whenever my mom had time to do it, she'd throw it in the wash. This pile was next to my bedroom door. Me, using my stupid kid logic, decided that instead of walking down the hall to the bathroom, I'd just go on the pile. It made perfect sense at the time; the clothes were dirty anyway. My poor mother had to wash really foul-smelling clothes as the pile usually took about three days before it had enough clothes to be washed. I still feel bad about it.
#41 Honey Trap
I poured a bottle of honey on a neighbor’s metal gate after a feud with them. I waited for half a year before they started a feud with another neighbour. The very next day, I brought a large bottle of honey and poured it onto the metal gate of the house. Not only was it sticky, it was also full of ants and the ants were at their doorsteps as well as the gate.
They spent time fighting with another neighbor who insisted that they did not do such a thing. The neighbor we were fighting with ended up having to change the entire metal gate. I, on the other hand, helped them to clean their doorway. They were grateful to me for my deed but didn’t know that I was the mastermind and executed the entire deed without anyone knowing. Not even my parents.
#42 First Crack at TV
I used to ruin my brother's bed in the mornings so I would get first crack at video games or TV while he helped clean up “his mess.” I did not go on my brother, however. I used to make sure that I was aiming away from him and on top of the covers. This occurred just a couple of times, probably coinciding with some video game we rented for the weekend. I'm sure my parents were aware something was off about the whole thing, but they never let on and now don't recall being suspicious of me. I've told the story to my family and we laugh about it now.
#43 Flubbed Plan
I once convinced my brother to jump from the second-story window under the pretense of, “You're wearing basketball shoes, so you'll bounce back up." We had just seen Flubber and thought that would happen. Well, we didn’t really get a chance to find out because he wound up landing through the soft top of our mom’s car.
#44 Save the Forest
When I was a kid, there were some woods behind our neighborhood that my friends and I loved to play in. One year, when we were 11-13, they were cut down to put in a new neighborhood and we were super upset. Once the new mansions started going up, my friends and I would go in and try to sabotage whatever we could.
We'd toss entire pallets of drywall from the top floors, rappel down the sides of the houses with coax cable, break duct pieces and windows, and move equipment to distant places. This went on for months, and I have no idea how we weren't caught. But, I remember that I told them we should stop when I heard the vandalism mentioned on the local news.
#45 Lover of Syrup
I was born in 1993. Around the time when I was three years old, my parents caught me getting up at night and drinking syrup straight out of the bottle. I’m not talking about plain old maple syrup either. I mean that sugary Aunt Jemimah stuff. This was an ongoing thing… and also before Super Troopers came out.
#46 Sofa in the Summer
My friends and I used to hang out in this wooded spot on the outskirts of our neighborhood. We took an old couch there one summer to sit on. We proceeded to light the couch on fire and the flames got really big. Some trees also caught fire and a giant field burned down. We never said a word to anybody else because the fire contained itself, but it was pretty scary for a group of idiot 13-year-olds. We left before the fire department came.
#47 No More Sanitizer
In first grade, I used to put a bunch of hand sanitizer in paper towels, tie them up and chuck them at people in class. It got so bad that they stopped providing sanitizer in every class. I never got in trouble, though, since everyone else was starting to do it and got caught. But, I was the only one who could hit people from range.
#48 He Had it Coming
When I was around nine, I wrote my own name into the side of my house, but I spelled it wrong purposely to make it look like my little brother was trying to frame me. My parents totally believed it, and he denied it, of course. But, I was like, "Parents, would I have spelled my own name wrong?" and he got punished. No regrets, he had it coming.
#49 Kickball Game
One time at recess we were playing kickball. As this one kid was coming back to home base, I threw a big chunk of concrete blacktop at him for literally no reason. Nothing happened to the kid. He just bent over, I apologized, and he said “...It’s okay.” I was a very, very impulsive child. Right after I did things like that I’d think, “Wait, why did I do that? What did I think was gonna happen?”
#50 The Contractor
My father hired a contractor to frame out our basement. Being eight at the time, I was super curious at what he was doing. I spent hours asking him questions until one day he snapped and said that I couldn’t be down there anymore while he was working. I took that really hard, so much so that I went out to my neighbor’s rock pile and scratched “I hate you” in the side of his brand new truck. I then threw said rock through his window.