Our families should be full of people we want to share our secrets with. While that’s a great scenario for a perfect world, the reality is that thousands of people have secrets they would never share with their family members. Here, these people share what exactly those secrets are.
#1 For the Greater Good
My sisters and I have formed a pact. If any of us start exhibiting signs of becoming like our parents, it is the solemn duty of the rest of the sisters to bring that chick back to reality. In the event that this strategy of ours fails, we’ll have no other choice but to execute her. We have all accepted that this is for the greater good.
#2 Struggling Idiot
My extended family thinks I’ve had no career or salary advancement for ten years. I play a bumbling idiot with them who just can’t catch a break. The reason being, they’re a cavalcade of self-inflicted sob stories and GoFundMe grifters. I don’t want to be hit up for “loans” every other week. I’m actually a senior manager at an established consulting firm. If they had a good reason for their misery other than “got tipsy with the money for bills and didn’t pay them,” I would help them out. Pretending to be a struggling idiot deflects any attempts at soliciting me for money.
#3 Hating Home
I joined the Navy to get away from them, not because I felt some sort of patriotic duty like they tell people. I liked it, I found a purpose, I got great training that got me the job I have today. But I did it because I hated it at home. I was in from 1997-2005. I joined after high school, that I was expelled from but graduated through the "special programs" and was on probation.
#4 Reddit Account
I have a Reddit account. Both of my parents hate me talking to people online because they think I’m going to get kidnapped or attacked or something. So, I'm not allowed to post, comment or even like anything by people they don't know. Maybe it’s because I’m a minor that they think they’re protecting me or something.
#5 It’s All Drama
I'm really happy to only see them once or twice a year due to living 3,000 miles away. I just can't stand them. They all gossip and spin their wheels so much that you can't even have a normal conversation with any of them. It's all drama and always has been. I never understood how and why I was so depressed my entire life and found escapism through alcohol and partying. Since I've lived across the country, I'm sober, have a super awesome family, and I barely ever see them. It's great.
#6 Very Close Today
My younger half-aunt and I almost fooled around when we were kids. We didn’t know about each other. When we both met, she was 13 and I was 15. As we grew up, there was a ton of flirting and tension. It never came to anything — thank God — but we had some intimate conversations around it. Oddly enough, both of us are very close today and have even spoken about how ridiculous the whole thing was.
#7 Coming Clean
I used to smoke heavy substances. I've been clean for 13 years now and they'll never know. I smoked for five years. I got into a huge fight with my parents and moved to another city, so no one really saw me. This was before Facebook so there weren’t any gross pics being posted. I got clean with some help, moved back, and made up with my family. I'm running out of excuses on why I won't watch Breaking Bad though!
#8 Part of the Family
I don't feel like part of the family. I feel like I don't belong and like I’m just a substitute for when my brother isn't around. I don't feel respected or wanted, I feel like my girlfriend’s family likes me more than they do. If I had the funds to, I would’ve moved out long ago and they probably wouldn’t have seen or heard from me apart from Christmas The only reason I’d show up then is because of my cousins.
#9 The Worst Thing
In the third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I took my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch, I went nuts and pigged out. They then kicked me out.
But the worst thing I ever did was when I mixed a pot of fake puke at home. I went to a movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and made hurling noises. Then, I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. All the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
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#10 How to React
My husband knows, but I am very apathetic and don't feel a lot. I do feel and have feelings, but not the same as other people seem to. I know what I should feel and have learned how to react when I need to, but I tend to truly only feel more extreme emotions. The rest of the time, I am just content or neutral.
#11 Do My Best
I was attacked in elementary school, attempted to take my life, and have depression and social anxiety. It’s no surprise, but I’m not really in the best place right now. However, I will do my best to move past it. I’m still scared to see a therapist, but definitively will when the situation presents itself to me.
#12 Secret Accounts
My 13-year-old daughter found Wattpad from Minecraft gamer videos she watched. I missed the signs and it took me about 10 days to figure it out because of how secretive she was out of the blue. When I did, I realized she was already being groomed by two users. I went to cops and they lured them using my daughter’s account. One bailed pretty quickly and deleted the account. The other one started texting the number the cops gave her. Within three weeks, they lured her across the country and busted her at a hotel room in our town.
She had tape, ropes, some kind of liquid and needles in her car. I vomited in my mouth when the police sergeant told me about that. He said my daughter may have to testify, but maybe not because most of it happened after they took over the account. The legal folks would let us know. I wasn’t sure about that. My daughter knew a bad person was talking to her, but I didn’t share everything with her then. We dealt with social media use through better education and I started monitoring her better.
The prosecutor’s assistant contacted and said that they had contacted authorities in town where the lady lived. They found evidence at her house tying her to multiple missing girls in that area. Our case was being dropped at this time, so they could pursue the missing girl’s cases. I was relieved. My daughter is almost 18 now and I told her the full story when she was 16. It was upsetting for her; tears and shaking. But I knew she was going to be okay when she said, “Well, I’m glad we saved some other girls from her.” Yes, I’m glad, too. I hate Wattpad.
#13 Constructive Debate
I don’t agree with half of their views that sometimes range anything from racist comments, laziness, lifestyle, etc. It’s not anything special and not as bad as some of the other things people deal with. But it’s a bit annoying when you want to strike up a constructive debate with them but it only turns to yelling.
#14 I Have Issues
I don’t think I’d ever tell my family that most of my mental health struggles were caused by them. I love my parents but I am mentally screwed up. I’m not a sociopath but I have issues for sure. Plus, I’m Asian and mental health isn't something that is considered an illness in the Asian community. So, I don’t plan on telling them.
#15 Deep-Seated Trauma
It’s next to impossible to articulate how my parents made my siblings and I feel as children and the deep-seated emotional trauma that brings with it. We love each other even now, and by no means were they terrible people. They did their best and tried so hard, but they aren’t perfect and their mistakes cut deep. I still have a relationship with both of them and I love them dearly. I guess that’s probably why I’ll never tell them how awful it all was. I physically can’t bring myself to. It’s like trying to talk when your tongue goes numb. I can’t imagine breaking it to them that they sucked.
#16 I Understand That
I’ve been depressed for more than half of my life. I remember a family friend had taken their life and my parents were saying, “I don’t understand how someone could do that.” I calmly said I could really relate to why someone would do that. The look of disbelief and desperation on my mother’s face broke my heart and I realized how she had interpreted it. I don’t live at home and for almost a month afterwards she would call me every day to check on me and make sure I was okay. She’d also tell me that I was loved and if I ever needed to talk about anything, she and my father were always there for me.
#17 Thinking of Her
I have a daughter. I've never wanted kids but being young dumb, I got my fiance pregnant. With our issues, we couldn't deal with actually taking care of a kid, so we put her up for adoption. The family who got her was very excited and had been trying for almost a decade to have one of their own but couldn't.
They had just gotten through the background stuff the month before she was born and this was their first chance at actually adopting. They were super happy, my fiance cried giving her to them and I just wanted to go get tipsy and forget it. We got married and divorced a few years back. I got my life together but occasionally I think of her. I can't bring myself to try and chat; I would’ve ruined that child's life.
#18 For Their Own Good
I absolutely do know why no computer in the house seems to be able to access any Fox/Sky/NewsLtd website and could fix it in 20 minutes. But just like my parents refused to get internet at home until after I'd finished high school in 2008 "for my own good,” I'm now doing something "for their own good” as well.
#19 Questioning Things
Probably that I don’t believe in God anymore. I grew up in a decently religious household where we went to church every Sunday. I was really involved in my youth group from middle school until I left for college. Once I was in college, I finally started questioning religion a lot more and it wasn’t long before I realized it made no sense at all to me. I mainly loved going to church so much in high school because all of my friends were there and it was my primary social outlet.
At that point, I think my mom might’ve had suspicions. But in my mind, it would only do harm to confirm them and tell her because I was still able to be my 100% self around her. It would really hurt my parents. My grandma, on the other hand, is extremely religious. This is where I have more issues because I have to pretend I’m a totally different person around her.
As I get older, it really sucks and makes me question my relationship with her. I also know if I told her I didn’t believe in God, she would absolutely never talk to me again. It’s a really bad situation, but in the end, I’d rather not stir the pot. I’ll stick to calling her once a month to have the same meaningless conversation to keep her happy.
#20 To My Grave
When I was around six, I heard that cats always landed on their feet, so I thought I would test this out on our family cat. I picked up the cat and dropped her over the banister above the stairs in our house. She landed on her side, ran away and hid for a while. When I got older, I remembered a separate incident of her getting pregnant and all but two of the kittens being stillborn. I have no idea if she was pregnant when I dropped her over the banister but it haunts me as an adult to think about. I'm taking that story to my grave.
#21 The Mean One
Honestly, I really don't enjoy spending time with any of my family members. I've been the black sheep since I was a child and it sucks when the entire family thinks of you as "the mean one.” Then, for some reason, they actually have the audacity to wonder why you don't have any interest in spending time with them.
#22 Forbidden From the Net
I have this Reddit account and a Twitter account (I’m not allowed social media). I’m 14 and almost all of the kids in my grade have some form of social media. My mom doesn’t get it that some social media platforms are okay. Heck, she even said she doesn’t believe in social media, yet she has a Facebook account herself.
#23 Second Husband
My second husband that they all think is wonderful… has slept with someone else. It’s actually far worse than the situation that caused my first divorce from my high school sweetheart. I spent 15 years and had two children with him. Every day, I wish that if I had to work on a marriage, it was my first. I’m going through the motions and I smile and nod while they gush about him.
If they knew he had slept with five other women in the course of our relationship, it would be awful. I found out in the course of a few months, a year after we married. Had I even had a suspicion before, I wouldn’t be here. But he’s a cop and I was an RN in school with two kids. He’s in his 40’s and I’m in my late 30’s. I messed up by thinking we were busy adults and I didn’t need to babysit a grown man. I was wrong.
#24 Never Told Her Anything
That I've been attacked from a young age from multiple guys, one of them being my older brother. My mom found out about one of them and called me a bunch of names. Then said she wished I wasn't her daughter because I was a disgrace and I ruined her life. So, I never told her anything about any of the others.
#25 My Now-Husband
I’m actually already married. My husband and I ran off and got married early due to some personal issues. We’re set to get “married” in November. His immediate family knows and my friends do, but definitely not my mother. She would have a fit. I’m waiting until I get my stimulus check if she ever finds out so I can give her the money back if she wants it for my dress.
#26 What They Think
My actual political opinions. It’s not that different from them, but a lot of the times I don't entirely agree with them. I just pretend I do. It’s not like they're being morally messed up or anything. I just don't have the energy or the heart to get into a political debate that could change what they think of me.
#27 Granny Fever
I’d never disclose that my husband and I are trying to have a baby. Both my mom and his mom are really intense and badly have Granny Fever. I don’t want to be constantly hounded by them trying to figure out if I’m pregnant. I also don’t want everything I do to be criticized in case it might harm a bundle of cells before it’s even a fetus.
#28 Rude Houseguest
I honest to God can’t stand my mom, who lives with me at this point. She's judgmental, mean, interfering and wants to be in charge. I'll be 57 in three weeks. It’s lame to complain about my mom as a senior myself but she’s pretty hard to take. The past eight years of her in my home pretty much destroyed our relationship.
#29 Paternal Grandfather
I hate my paternal grandfather. He spent his life hurting my grandmother physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now, he's demented and we're trying to get him committed to a psychiatric facility. He has recently taken to grabbing her arm and not letting her go, screaming all through the night so she can't sleep, and demanding inappropriate acts from her.
We’re afraid he could suffocate her in their own bed with a pillow. He can't get out of bed from years of type II diabetes and a whole bunch of other stuff, but now his mind is finally going. He talks all the time about wanting to take his life. Last week, he had a mouth full of pills but didn't end up swallowing them. I wish he did. I wish my grandmother would inject too much insulin and end him.
#30 My Body Count
I sort of tried to self-medicate my post-Navy depression in college by having a lot of relations. And this isn't some weird humble brag. This is a confession. I felt like I had lost some semblance of control and relations gave me this idea that I was in control. It wasn’t healthy and I finally sought therapy, but not until my body count was in the 60s. I feel gross just thinking about it.
#31 A Better Home
I re-homed their dog and told them he passed away while they were on vacation. Hear me out, though. My parents had a really anxious dog that was kind of a nightmare after their other dog passed away. He was pretty up there in age and he really needed more open space and exercise than they were able to give him.
My mom made Craigslist ads for him multiple times but always cried and deleted them out of guilt. They loved him but they knew they weren’t giving him the best quality of life in his older years. It was obvious that the dog was becoming a burden on my parents in their old age. No one was winning in this situation.
I had a friend who lived on a huge wooded property and she had two other dogs. We knew that her dogs knew and got along great with my parents’ dog. So when my parents left for vacation, my friend and I brought the dog out to her home and there he lived for the rest of his days. He lived for another six months or so.
I told my parents he passed and they were sad, but I could tell they were relieved as well. Their dog had a wonderful time living his best life out in the woods with his friends and it ended up being a way better situation for him. He got lots of love, exercise, and treats. He passed away in his sleep on his comfy bed.
#32 Bringing Up the Past
I’m the picky, selfish, resting mean face black sheep to my family. I will admit I was misbehaved when I was a kid over ten years ago, but I’m not a child anymore. They just refuse to think of me as any different than I was and keep bringing up the past. Also, it’s not picky to not want to eat off of dirty, crusty plates dad!
#33 Can’t Forgive Her
In the worst part of my alcoholism, I tried to overdose on sleeping pills. On the way to the hospital, my mom said it might've been better for everyone if I just did it. I haven't forgiven her and I don't know if I can. I've bettered myself since this happened almost seven years ago. I'll have three years in September. I still love my mother and I understand how she could say that at the moment. I know what I did and I accept responsibility.
#34 A Family Member
A family member used to live in our home, groomed me and hurt me when I was around 12 years old. I’m not exactly sure about the age and I don’t really want to remember. But yeah, I don’t think I would ever tell them. The more I think about it, I’m not even sure they would believe me if I did say anything about it.
#35 The Stress it Caused
I was the one who reported my brother's first girlfriend to the child report. It eventually led to her harming my nephew after being investigated, my brother having a mental breakdown and my mom having to be the primary caregiver to the nephew. I have no regrets, but because of the stress it caused, it's not something I'm admitting to.
#36 In Writing
My father took his own life in a way that I would be the first to find him. I never disclosed how I know this was intentional, nor did I ever share the note, left elsewhere, explaining the choice to end his life rather than taking my mom’s life first. This has never been difficult to withhold from her because I think she suspects it. But, not in writing.
#37 Five Hours Later
I had a one night stand and lost my virginity about five hours after my mom finished helping me move into my dorm. Coming from a very Christian household… yeah. Also, my depression never went away and the shrink never helped. I just got better at hiding it. I'm empty inside and am just waiting for the next 50-70 years to pass so I can pass away already.
#38 The Rest of Their Lives
I want to get multiple fake IDs and a bunch of wigs and pretend I’m different people when I go out. It’s all just for the pleasure of people never really knowing that I’m under disguise. They will live the rest of their lives not knowing who I really am or what I look like. I also want them to find all this in a storage unit after I pass away with a bunch of other stuff. I want them to live with the fact that I lived multiple lives and they never truly knew who I was at all. I want the sweet pleasure of messing them up for the rest of their lives.
#39 Back to Bed
When I was seven, I had a sleepover with my older cousin, who was four years older at the time. I’m a male and my cousin is a female. Since it was a sleepover, we shared a room. I was on the floor with a mattress and she was in her own bed. We ended up playing truth or dare and things got weird real quick. We both ended up making out a bit and eventually stripped down. Nothing else happened after that. We just put our clothes back on and went to bed.
#40 It Helps Me
I smoke the devil’s lettuce. My family members all work in medical fields and wouldn't dream of trying it. But it helps me get out of my own head and stops me from worrying about things that I can't do anything about. It also helps me ignore the currently crushing loneliness of building a new life in a new city where I don't know anyone.
#41 Deliberate Burn
The burn on my wrist was deliberate. The day I got accepted into my dream university, I was happy all day. But by the evening, I just felt awful. In hindsight, I was terrified that the problem wasn't my home life and school, it was me, and moving to my dream school would just show me what a loser I was. I wanted to do something, and so I poured boiling water on my wrist. As I did, a teacher walked past the kitchen (I was at boarding school), so I had to pretend it was a stupid mistake and run it under the cold tap. It was visible for a surprisingly long time.
#42 Not Anytime Soon
I didn’t actually graduate this semester and I have no plans to. I’ve been working full-time at the company I interned at two years ago. I work in sales and do very well, so my boss doesn’t care at all if I have a degree or not. I told them there was no ceremony and got a fake diploma online to show my family.
After landing my job and doing very well, I had zero motivation to finish my classes. I withdrew from four of them last semester and didn’t sign up for any over the summer. They were so proud that their first kid finally graduated and told my entire extended family. I never wanted to go to college and don’t have the heart to tell them that I didn’t graduate. I might go back at some point and finish my last 15 credits, but not anytime soon.
#43 Scared of Their Reaction
Every day, my mood shifts from feeling fine to wanting to end my life. I've talked to them about depression in the past, but they never understood and would just get mad or cry if I ever told them about wanting to take my own life. So, I just stopped. They know I have depression but they don't know how bad it is. I'm scared of how they would react.
#44 Physical Contact
I absolutely hate physical contact (including things like hugging, kissing, etc). It’s been like that for so long that my family just assumes I don’t want it (my fault). But I find myself wanting it more than I ever would sometimes. That being said, though, I would never tell them that and I don’t really know why.
#45 Not Having the Freedom
I seriously, wholeheartedly, completely don't care about their religion. I also want them to get off my back with the whole "my greatest disappointment is that I failed you" stuff. Plus, my brother went through a "born again" act. It only involves him saying "God blesses you, man" and "Have you accepted Him or even spoken to Him?" Every time I enter the same room, he makes it a constant invitation for having the "Why are you an atheist" conversation. I'm not completely. I'm spiritual to a certain extent but haven't really had the freedom to explore that.
#46 It’s Just Writing
How much money I make. Both my wife and I came from relatively poor backgrounds and make pretty good money today. It’s nothing crazy, but higher than the top bracket in most household surveys. It's not like they would ask for money or be weird, but it just changes the dynamic. They might, like some friends have, start saying, "Oh, you get paid that much to write?! It's just writing!"
#47 Developed Anxiety
The reason I developed anxiety in the military wasn't from stress on operation. It was from my commanding officer. Over an eight-week border patrol at sea, he verbally attacked me constantly and eventually approached me on the bridge during a man overboard exercise. It took a while, but I'm better now and he was discharged after a court-martial. I'm still serving and hoping to prevent other people from going through the same scenario.
#48 Act Like Me
I honestly feel a greater sense of family and home with close friends than my actual family. I mean, I love my family, but I'm constantly watching what I say and how I act around them. If they saw how I really behaved, they'd probably hate me. Especially my mother. But when I'm around friends, I feel like I can act like me and still be loved.
#49 Hidden Address
My address. I'm a domestic survivor, but they know the truth. If I just would’ve stopped making him mad, been a better wife and kept the babies quiet, he wouldn't have felt like he had to hurt me. It's all my fault, actually. I moved to protect myself and my children, and they immediately gave him our new address. I've moved again and we are now no-contact.
#50 A Little Awkward
My student loan debt. I had to tell them I got so many scholarships and aid that it was paid for so they would stop harassing me for applying to begin with. They were very disappointed I applied and got accepted because "I was going to ruin the family and my life with debt." I have a job that pays that bill just fine, but it is a little awkward