Partners should share just about everything with each other… but there are some secrets we prefer to keep to ourselves. The problem is that we’re not exactly as secretive as we’d like to think, which leads to our significant others catching onto the act pretty quickly.
#1 Did You Hear That?
The first time my significant other and I slept together, I woke up during the night to use the bathroom. I came back into the room and she ripped one of the loudest toots I've ever heard. I started laughing like crazy and she almost woke up. Almost. We've been together for seven years and she has no idea I heard her.
#2 Lies on Lies
He lied about his last name, age, degree, being in the military and being an offender. I only figured out the lie about the degree and broke it off. Then, he started stalking me and I figured out everything else. I don't know if he figured out that I know everything else. We live in a relatively small town and a girl was about to meet up with him, so I warned her. He’s still lying about his age. You're not 29, you're 42!
#3 Hiding Scars
My ex-girl had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it. She wouldn't even take her shirt off the first night we were together. When I asked her about it, she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young. Fast forward a little and I'm out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend.
I pick out a sexy singlet and her friend just looks out me like I'm stupid. Apparently, the scar on her back, which the singlet clearly revealed, wasn't from a fall, but an ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbikes exhaust pipe. We ended on good terms, and I never told her I knew. I hope she’s doing well.
#4 Power Dynamics
Her Caesar salad dressing. It's actually the best thing ever, but even after two years, she refuses to tell me what's in it. What she doesn't know is that I have secretly been watching her make it over the past few months. So, little does she know that I’ve finally pieced it together and now I have the power!
#5 Figuring it Out
My ex and the going behind my back. She thinks I found out when I looked at her phone, but I knew about two months earlier when she sent me a picture of herself watching Netflix in bed. I don't think she realized that the dude's face was 100% visible reflected in the laptop. After that, it was a matter of me being in denial and trying to fix things.
#6 On a Call
When we were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, uninsured, and the doctors thought it might be serious, I lost it a bit. She was so brave. But her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk but she didn't know that the sound echoed pretty loudly into the room. I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn't know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I'll never tell her I heard her, but it was heartbreaking.
When she came out, you wouldn't even know she was even upset. She hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and certainty. She literally took out her computer and started making a spreadsheet of our finances. I knew how much she loved me at that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me. I don't know why, but I got so calm after that. I haven't broken down like that since, even with worse news. I guess she makes me strong… God, I love her.
#7 Genius Snacks
Everybody likes snacks, right? Well, my wife likes croutons. Frozen croutons to be exact and she tries to hide it like an addict hides bottles. Where does she hide the croutons? In the freezer. At first, I'd put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store, but they'd always end up in the freezer. I'd be like, "Uh, hon. What's up with the croutons in the freezer?" and she'd act like she had no idea what I was talking about.
Now here's the thing. I've tried them and now I'm addicted to them, too. So now I openly eat cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack, and she tells me what a weirdo I am while she eats half the bag with me. No idea why she's embarrassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack. By the way, the best kind is Chatham Village garlic and cheese flavor.
#8 I Didn’t See Anything
A girl I dated a few years back had just graduated with her bachelors, so I took her out for a night on the town. Her and our friends got absolutely demolished and since this was before Uber, I volunteered to be designated driver. Around 2:00 a.m., she was tanked and we headed out because she wanted Krystal burgers. She was very adamant about that, so I stopped by Krystals and ordered a steamer pack so I can have some too.
She ate somewhere around 8:00 a.m. I got her home, got her into her bed and she immediately passed out. I was sitting next to her watching some TV when I smelled something. I notice that she has just soiled herself. She’s one of those people who would be so ashamed of herself if anyone found out, so I just… left.
I called her the next day and told her I dropped her off, got her some water and headed home. I never mentioned her soiling herself or anything, so to this day, she thinks she did it in her sleep after I left. I could have stayed and helped her clean it up and I probably should have, but she would have cried over that. She also would’ve avoided me sporadically for weeks.
#9 Good as New
My wife dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily, it has been so used there was a large pile of number two, which gently held the phone above the liquid. She cleaned it off and gave it back to me. A year later, I upgraded and gave her my old phone. She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids told on her.
#10 No, He’s a Real Guy
My ex made up a person and spoke to me as them. We met when we were quite young and both pretty weird. I put it down to insecurity and wanting to look like she had cool friends (I was a little older). I never let on that I knew because it would have been super embarrassing for her and this was literally the start of the relationship. She made up quite a few stories about this guy and I got a few emails from "him.” She didn't realize that changing the name of the account didn't actually change the address, which was fully visible.
#11 Switching Places
My partner smokes when I'm not home. I know this because I always move the router to the window where the signal’s best. When I come home, the router is in a different position away from the window. I put it back without her knowing and call her out for smoking, but she still has no idea how I keep finding out!
#12 Can’t Move On
His affair. I knew for three weeks before he left (to look after his allegedly sick dad) and for two weeks after before I told him I knew. He said last week he's ended it and sees what he missed, but I know he's still sleeping and living with her while messaging me. I'm his wife and we were together for 12 years. He just can't stop lying. He may be genuinely remorseful right now, but I can't get past his deceit.
#13 It Was the Cat
My ex-boyfriend once wet the bed. He had no idea that I knew he did it. He had told me about it at one point after I had suspected it for a while, but subsequently, he forgot ever telling me. He then blamed it all on the cat. Also, this happened way back in high school, so I don't know much about the condition.
#14 Moving Out
My (soon to be) ex-wife met another guy about a year and a half ago. She was so bad at hiding it that I thought she wanted to get caught. She’d post romantic stuff on her Instagram when we hadn't been romantic in a long time. I confronted her and she lied, even with solid evidence. A few months later, stuff started disappearing from the house and it was pretty obvious that she was moving out.
Then we started to have no money every month. I realized she was stealing money by paying her bills twice a month with three times the minimum payment and not paying mine. I let it go on for a bit and finally confronted her. Again, she didn’t admit to it. I finally just pulled my check from our joint account and she said she was leaving, but was going to be homeless. The next day, she had changed her Facebook back to her maiden name and had a picture of her and the other guy at their new place.
#15 Blame It on the Dog
I am not sure what events led up to it but he went number two in bed. I’m guessing he trusted a toot he shouldn't have, but it happened. He didn't hide it very well, he just put the sheets in the washing machine but didn't start it, so I smelled it. He claimed the dog did it, but the boxers he attempted to hide (pretty haphazardly) in the trash told a different story. I’ve attempted to bring it up, but I don’t want to break the illusion he has of himself.
#16 Second Apartment
Before my ex-wife and I first split up, I had found out she was hiding a storage unit with an entire apartment set aside in it, just in case the breakup went bad. She worked a graveyard shift and I was using her laptop while watching The Walking Dead to use the story sync. Because she uses all Apple products, her iMessage was tied to her MacBook.
I don't normally read any of her messages, but considering the number of notifications that were chiming in, I could tell she was having a rather lengthy conversation. I opened it and started reading. Turned out, she had sent a picture message of a fully-packed storage unit to her best friend out in South Carolina.
It had furniture, appliances, and everything she needed to start out with an apartment on her own. I sat on that for several months before finally bringing it up out of nowhere. We were literally sitting on the couch one night and I just turned to her and said, "So, I know about your storage unit.” Her eyes just about popped out of her head. It was the last thing she ever expected to hear because she thought she was being sneaky. The conversation actually went quite well, though, and we ended up deciding that we were going to file for divorce.
#17 No-Touch Zone
My wife wouldn't let me touch her head. While we were dating, she wouldn't let me touch her head or play with her hair. For the longest time, she avoided it. Her mom asked if I knew about her condition. I said no and she told me I may find out one day. One night, my wife invited me to stay the night and of course, I was all about it. As we laid there, I pulled her to me and ran my fingers through her hair.
She didn't fight and didn't say anything, but I could feel her scars and how her skull had healed. I felt her tears rolling down my forearm. I told her no matter any scar, or anything else, I was never going to let her go. I swore at that moment I would take care of her for the rest of my life. We dated about six months, and have been married for 10 years.
#18 Never Say a Word
I know that my partner used to work as a person of the night, was in some adult films, and worked as an exotic dancer. They did all of this when they were young and hungry. They have no idea that I know, but they also have no idea that I don’t care either. I'll never say anything about it. Middle-class morality is not a luxury everyone can afford.
#19 It’s Your Money
He spent a ton of money on Bruins tickets. Whenever he got tickets to a match, he claimed he got them for free through work or downplays the cost, but I know he paid for them. I don't really mind since he can spend his money how he wants. But it's funny to me that he thinks I wouldn't realize he was spending a few hundred bucks every time he went to a game.
#20 Everyone Has a Past
I know that my significant other actually spent a night with my boss before we knew each other. It was also before I had been hired into the company. I'm not mad about it or anything, everyone has a past, but she carefully dances around ever coming into my work. I'm now extra careful not to bring him up to her.
#21 There Was an Attempt
We were long-distance when we first started dating. One time, she came up to where I lived for four days, but I had to work during one of the days. When I was gone, she had to go number two and clogged the toilet. She couldn't get it to plunge and was freaking out, so she went to the kitchen, got a fork and a plastic bag and dug the mess out of the bowl.
She then threw everything in the dumpster out back. She called her friend panicking and the friend thought it was hilarious. The friend then told me about it one night when the girl had left the room after we moved in together. I find it really funny but I don't want to embarrass her, so I never said anything!
#22 Years After the Fact
This was an ex of mine. Some time into the relationship, I found out I was just the guy she was using to get back at the other dude who she dated before me. It crushed me because she was the first girl I really loved and did absolutely everything and anything for her. I kept the relationship going without letting her know and then tipped off the other dude. I confronted her and broke up with her on the same day that dude broke up with her. She deserved it. However, I never really fully moved on. It's been years and I haven't had a relationship after that.
#23 I’ll Marry Him
My partner is a veteran and very stereotypically “manly.” He doesn't talk about his personal life with friends and he's pretty quiet in general. This is a Southern traditional dude who opens every door for every person. He calls every person older than him Ma'am and Sir. Anyway, he has a lot of friends who are also this way and they often tease any man who says nice things about their women.
His friend spilled the beans that one night, right after I met him, they all got partied-out and he told all of them I was the love of his life and we were going to get married one day. They all teased him and were playing around when this one dude he didn’t know very well told him I had a nice chest. He clocked him. He made such a commotion that he's not allowed back there. After his friend told me this story, I realized I had asked to go to that pub a few weeks ago and he had made some excuse about it being overpriced. I will never tell him I know, but if he asks me, I'll marry him.
#24 More Than Friends
She deliberately told me she had never slept with a mutual friend of mine and I then saw a Facebook message from him one day because she was logged in on my phone. It read, "Remember when we did things, more than just things friends do, was I good?" She has no idea. I wouldn't care except for the fact that she, out of nowhere, told me she had never done anything with him.
#25 Good to Know
When he's about to fall asleep, he's completely honest. It was about seven months in when he grabbed me and whispered into my ear, "You're gonna be the mother of my children." I told him and he was thoroughly embarrassed he apologized. However, I neglected to tell him that pretty much every night he would tell me that he loved me starting a month in. I don't mind. I'm not trying to rush things and neither of us have any plans to jump into that sort of stuff right away. But, it's nice to know.
#26 Put a Ring on It
I found out my fiancé wanted to ask me to marry him but wanted to get a super expensive ring for me first. So, it was taking time to save up. I don't care about that type of thing. I'd marry him without a ring. That's not what's important to me. So, I went to his mom and told her what I knew. She told me we should go look at rings together so maybe I could pick something less expensive. She would then tell him we went shopping and I had fallen in love with a ring he could afford.
I know, I'm sneaky. Anyway, I found an incredible ring that was normally $500 but on sale for $100. I bought the ring, she called him and told him what she did. He was so happy! He asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve and it was by far one of the best days of my life. He has no clue that I was involved in the purchase. So, he's keeping the secret that he doesn't know that I know.
#27 Supporting the Arts
Back when I was first starting to make my artwork public, I had a Kickstarter campaign to fund a tour. I had just started dating my partner, but he gave a relatively significant amount of money anonymously. He tripped up in selecting his "backer's reward" — an original piece mailed to his house. When I saw the address, I definitely didn't suspect his roommates were just super supportive of my art.
#28 Birthday Surprise
My girlfriend decided to surprise me by buying a holiday to Brussels for us over my 30th birthday. I accidentally intercepted the hotel confirmation email, so I decided it was a good time to propose, as I'd been considering it for about six months. I acted all surprised when she told me. Then when we were having dinner in the restaurant on the first night, I got down on one knee and proposed. We’ll be celebrating our three-year wedding anniversary at the end of next month.
#29 Admitting the Problem
He has been hiding he's autistic from me for 10 years. He suffered harmful therapy and because of it, he thinks hiding his autism is the most important thing. Except that's like trying to hide an elephant in a bathroom and he's not always super high-functioning. So, it's always a weird charade of me pretending he's not autistic while busting my butt to gently handle that.
I have no idea how to talk to him about it. I know he has a formal diagnosis. He was so traumatized by institutional medical harm in the name of therapy that even mentioning it or acknowledging it can cause him to have a meltdown. He thinks if I knew, I wouldn't love him anymore, but I've known for years and I still love him. I like him just how he is, I just want things to be easier and less scary for him. I don't know how to help most of the time because he won't admit the problem.
#30 Non-Responsive Partner
Sometimes I'll forget to text her when I get home late at night or I forget to respond to her "good morning" text. The next day, she'll surprise me by showing up to my door and bringing me food, or wanting some "spontaneous alone time.” She really just worried that I passed away in a car accident or got kidnapped on the way home. But, I'll never tell her I see through it because it's cute, and I really enjoy the surprise relations and Philly cheesesteaks at noon on Sunday.
#31 Pearl of Wisdom
I know he already bought an engagement ring and that it's a pearl, not a diamond. But he's just awful at hiding gifts from me. Not physically, but he just asks me a ton of questions about what I want and then plays it off like I could never figure out why. I already knew he had gotten a ring because he left mail out from Zales and suddenly had a Zales rewards card in his wallet.
I figured out it was a pearl because a few weeks ago he went out to dinner with me and one of my girlfriends and she was talking about what engagement ring she wanted. We went on about how neither of us wanted a diamond. He got very serious and asked me if I liked pearls and acted relieved when I said that I did.
#32 Not About Me
I'm actually the secret keeper. I got diagnosed a few years back and it wasn’t great, but not stage four. I couldn't really deal with it, and my partner’s father was losing a battle to the same thing. I just didn't want to see him more afraid. He needed me to help him out during this hard time and I didn't want to make it about me. I didn't tell him for two and a half months. He had found out at the one-month mark, but was waiting for me to say something. I didn't. He showed up to my treatment one day like it was nothing and held my hand. We cried a bit and he was pretty mad at me.
#33 All Romantic Attachment
My ex was trying to hide her addiction from me. She was also going behind me back with someone else. I told her parents what was going on in an effort to get her the help she needs for her problem. She accused me of conspiring with them to ruin her life, told me she hated me and accused me of hurting her throughout our relationship. I know it's just the substances talking and that she still cares about me on some level, but that doesn't make things any easier. I still love her and care about her as a person, but all romantic attachment I had is gone. She's no longer the amazing woman I fell in love with.
#34 Friend Group
My significant other really disliked my friends (or maybe thought they disliked her), which led to awkward hangouts when we were in groups. It also eventually led me to have uncontrollable anxiety when they were in the same room. Yeah, unfortunately, it was a terrible feeling that was never actually addressed.
#35 Beating the Odds
She quit taking birth control. She then “somehow we beat the odds" and ended up with a daughter. The more I think about it, the more I think she did it just to keep me from leaving. That or the time she hurt herself and said she was attacked. She did all of this to hide the fact she was seeing an ex-boyfriend of hers.
#36 Credit Card Debt
I found out she had a credit card she had charged $2200 to. I confronted her for hiding it and she admitted it and we paid it off. That's the stupid part, we had the money in the bank. Her brother is in prison and he manipulates her into sending him money. She agreed not to do that anymore. The other day, I drove her car and there was an invoice stuck down between the console and parking brake lever. She has another credit card. I opened it and discovered she owes $1800 on that one. She doesn't know I know… yet.
#37 Family Ties
My wife's sister and my older brother have been good friends forever, way before her and I started dating. About 15 years ago, my brother and his girlfriend got pregnant with a son, who they put up for adoption and my wife's family ended up taking him. My brother never told anyone in our family about it, and made my wife's family swear to secrecy. I found out after finding a box of paperwork and old pictures a few years ago while helping them move. My 15-year-old brother-in-law is actually my genetic nephew and no one knows I know. My wife has never spoken a word about it.
#38 Keeping Secrets
He is becoming complacent and a bit lazy I guess, so I know about the several other girls he messages on almost a daily basis. He’s not always asking about the weather or their opinion on the Cuban Missile Crisis. We live together and the secret I’m keeping from him is a painting I’m getting made of his family for his birthday.
#39 Getting Worse
I know that my significant other started using. It started out with pain pills, that much he didn't try to hide from me at first. But then it just kept getting worse and worse. I keep finding little baggies, messages in his phone, and pawn tickets in his wallet. I also have no idea how to talk to him about this.
#40 The Tightest Hug
I was talking to my girlfriend's mom one day, whom I get along with pretty well, when she told me that my girlfriend was attacked by her father when she was a child. I was shocked and confused because I could never have imagined anything like this in her past. She’s the most loving, caring and confident person I have ever met. The next time I saw her, I gave my girlfriend the tightest hug ever. She was pleasantly surprised. She eventually told me about her past after a couple of months. I never told her that I knew. I've already bought an engagement ring.
#41 Upcoming Competition
My husband is dropping weight for an upcoming competition. He swears up and down he's sticking to his macros, doing fast cardio, etc. But, he hasn't lost one pound in a month. Yes, I know "muscle weighs more than fat." Yes, I know "the scale isn't a true definition of fitness, doesn't take into account muscle gains" blah blah blah. We've been involved in strength sports for years. My husband has just been lazy about dropping into a lower weight class for an easy win. Much like hips, the scale doesn't lie.
#42 We’re Swingers
When I told my neighbor I was divorcing my husband and moving, she said she saw him with many females for years. When she confronted him, he told her it was okay because we were swingers. I felt so hurt when I heard this from her and she believed his lie. So, all of the neighbors must have believed that too. No wonder they stayed away from me. I never told him even during the divorce process.
#43 Hidden Video
While moving a video I took with my boyfriend's phone to my computer, I found a video he took of my best friend showering. My male best friend. I’m too paranoid to bring it up to either of them and it's been around five years since I saw it. At first, I was very hurt, but now I don't really care as long as it was consensual when taken. Unfortunately, I'll never know that unless I ask.
#44 Behind Closed Doors
She sent a guy photos last October. I know her Snapchat password and I checked. She asked him what he thinks and he said that those were the most perfect pair he'd ever seen. They both knew we were still dating, but there were no mentions of that. I want to move on so badly but I'm scared I'll never meet someone like her. She really seemed like the perfect girl, maybe even the one. I try really hard every day not to think about it because she'll know that something's up. But when I'm alone, I almost start crying and sometimes I do. I don't know if I can trust anyone ever again.
#45 Big Fat Man Hands
I knew my boyfriend was going to propose because I woke up early one morning to him measuring my finger. I pretended to still be asleep so as not to spoil the surprise. He got the wrong size ring anyway. Not just a bit wrong, like eight sizes off. I still said yes, of course, and he's still marrying me despite my big fat man hands.
#46 I’ve Got You
My wife went to a high school reunion with her best friend. Her best friend texted me when they got there saying my wife was checking their coats. She pocket-dialed me. I sat home for hours listening and laughing to conversations. Her dirtbag friend from high school was hitting on her and started to get physical. She said they could dance and that was it.
She doesn't know I know and hasn't told me. She probably thinks I'd kick the daylights out of him. I did better, though. I sent him the part of the conversation I recorded and asked him if his wife or teenage daughter would like to hear it. He offered to buy it and I told him to get lost. I also said if I heard of any nonsense from him towards anyone else, his wife would get it.
#47 Ending a Marriage
My husband has been talking to different divorce lawyers. I think he's lawyer shopping to get out as smoothly as possible. I guess he's had enough of my crazy bipolar shenanigans. Nine Inch Nails said it best, “Everyone I know goes away in the end." I guess even a 10-year marriage can't withstand mental illness.
#48 Birthday Gift
She bought me an Xbox one for my birthday, but it was late because she’s still working on money management. So, a few months after my birthday, it just showed up. "Oh, it must have got lost in the mail and finally got here." I don't blame her and I never called her out on it. I even thought it was adorable. She would ask to visit the game store to just look around and passively mention I can just sit in the car. I went in there one day and the guy knew me and knew she was my wife. He asked when she was going to have the Xbox out. That was when it dawned on me. I love her so much.
#49 Generic Videos
A girl I was courting for a month mentioned she had a couple of cam videos of the generic variety. I managed to figure out her alias she used to post the videos and virtually all of them involved her ingesting waste, which I'm definitely not into. We had a final meeting which lasted 10 minutes and I said I wanted to be friends. She legitimately has no idea I've seen the videos. We still bump into each other on occasion.
#50 Childhood Moments
Some traumatic childhood moments. He did eventually tell me, but it kinda sucked pseudo-knowing. He'd drop hints a lot, but it was never clear. I worried a lot about it. After he finally told me, oddly a lot of other things in his life moved forward. It was as if trying to forget bad memories messed with other things.
