March 26, 2020 | Maria Cruz

Men Share What Instantly Turned Them Off From A Woman 


There are a lot of adorable things that women can do to attract a man. Their clothing, cute smiles, and coy behavior are enough to drive people wild. However, when you’re too invested in yourself or have breath issues, those traits are enough to drive people away.

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#1 Ask My Boyfriend

Her daughter asked her for permission to go to a friend's house. She told her daughter to ask me for permission. I had only been dating this particular woman for about a month. To make matters worse, I had also only met her daughter once. It was very uncomfortable. I had never seen a nine-year-old cringe before.

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#2 Life’s Not Fair

I was in a relationship that, over the course of three years, we had broken up twice. Both times were more her idea than mine. The final time we broke up, I refused to take her back and she got upset with me. She said that we got back together the first two times, so I would have to take her back this time. She got mad at me saying that it wasn't fair because she didn't want it to be over. I just looked at her and said, well sometimes breakups are one-sided.

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#3 Couldn’t Fake It

My second date with this one girl was going to a Christmas party of a mutual friend. After we were there for a little while, she started talking to this other guy and they went to some corner where no one else could interrupt them. They then talked for an hour. When they were done talking, she immediately told me she was leaving and up and bounced.

It totally turned me off, so I didn't talk to her again for a while. A month later, she reached out and was like, "Why haven't you called me?" I was kind of dumbfounded that she would actually ask. I didn't have anything else going on at the time, so I figured we could try again, but the Christmas party left such a bad taste in my mouth I couldn't even feign interest.

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#4 Finishing Sentences

I had a girlfriend recently that only lasted about seven months. Every time she talked about something and I thought she finished speaking, I started to speak. But then she continued speaking, but in a slightly louder tone as if I rudely interrupted her. And if I happened to do it again, she just went from loud to louder. Her speaking pattern was filled with pauses, so it was very easy to mistake one of those pauses for a finished sentence.

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#5 Mom’s Friend

She told her friend in public that my mom was “stupid”  and made fun of her for 20 minutes. She didn't know my mother's friend was sitting next to her in the restaurant and heard the whole thing. We were in college and in a different town, which made the whole experience for her that much more unfortunate. I was done particularly because my mom was nothing but the kindest person to her and made every effort to make her feel welcome when she visited.

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#6 Appropriate Response

I knew that it was time to leave when this one woman thought the appropriate response to me saying something she didn’t agree with was a slap across the face. She had gotten into a fight with her friend because of something she was completely in the wrong about. I guess I made the mistake of calling her out on it.

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#7 Endearing Impersonations

I have a fairly prominent accent. I have to admit that anyone who is way too into that gets the boot pretty quickly. I once walked out on this one date because she spent a whole half an hour trying to impersonate me. Oddly enough, she couldn't understand why I didn't think that her impersonations were endearing.

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#8 Instant Clinginess

Instant clinginess. We went out, had a great date and some light fun at her place. She called me the next day while I was out with a friend. I didn't answer. She then called me over and over again until I finally answered (we're talking about 10-15 calls in a row). When I answered, I asked if anything was wrong. She said no and that she just hates texting and prefers talking on the phone.

I had to calmly explain to her I was out with a friend and if I don't answer, I will call you back. But, calling me over and over makes me think it's an emergency. We tried one more date, but at that point it was awkward and I was no longer invested. I also had one girl text me over 130 times in one day after one date. It was worse because we worked at the same place, albeit different departments. It surprised me. 

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#9 In This Car?

Bad attitudes. I met a girl online once. She seemed cool, met her in person and she immediately started off with, “This is the kind of mustang you drive?” I’m not exaggerating, she said it as rudely as possible. So, I asked her to get out and she refused. “You owe me a movie, we’re going to see a movie. Stupid car or not!” I had to throw her purse out the window to get her out of my car.

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#10 Taking the Test

Calling her university professors stupid after 30 minutes on our first date. She couldn’t take the test because she didn’t show up a couple of times. She thought it was her professors’ duty to tell her in advance. Well, read the syllabus, you're not in high school anymore. She told me all her elaborate plans of getting him fired. After I told her she was in the wrong, she got mad.

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#11 In Love With Love

Desperation. It's a common internet meme for men to be desperate and scare women away. Let me tell you, it happens the other way as well. I met a girl online who was pretty, had a good job, kind, generous, and was overall a solid catch. The problem she had was that she was way too desperate to find a partner. 

I'm not even saying she was the kind of girl who had the relationship mapped out in stages. Those girls exist, too. But this girl was just desperate for a partner. She was pursuing the idea of coming home to her partner, cooking him dinner, making him lunch, sitting on the couch in sweats eating popcorn. Basically, she was in love with the idea of being in love. All those things are great goals for a relationship that you can aspire to over time. Not so much something to pursue or dream of on the first or second date.

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#12 Lazy Train

Overall laziness. She worked two silly jobs so ends could meet and she stayed home reading fanfiction for Supernatural and Twilight crossovers all day. She didn’t do any of her chores, didn’t do any cooking or cleaning. She just read a bunch of fan fiction and produced trash. It kind of destroyed my interest in her.

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#13 Bragging Rights

I was with this one girl and she actually thought it would be appropriate to brag about sleeping with a married guy. She then realized that I was disgusted and she quickly tried to back-pedal by saying, "He was the wrong one. I was single, man!" Honestly, that just made everything worse. You're both culpable.

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#14 Them or Me

Giving ultimatums and having too many rules that will never apply to her if I play the reverse card. Basically, it’s a totally rude move. This girl I was seeing before made me choose between her and my friends. She wasn't even there in my direst of need, but had the gall to restrict my friends from seeing or taking me out for a night out.

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#15 Funny How That Works

I got dumped and she came back. Got dumped a second time, which oddly hurt way more than the first time. I'm guessing it's because we opened up a lot about things after the first one and got closer. It's been many years, so I don't remember for sure, but I think we had a third round before I wouldn't take her back. She went ballistic when I wouldn't take her back. She told everyone I dumped her. Funny how that works. 

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#16 Total Meltdown

We literally met each other two days ago and I wouldn’t text her while I was at work the following day. So, she had a complete meltdown and her mom started texting me, asking what I did wrong. I didn’t even know this girl at all. I met her Monday morning and by Tuesday evening, I blocked all contact with her.

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#17 Thank You, Next

For me, I’d have to say that it’s being unintelligent. You don't need to be a genius or super educated, but a girl who doesn't have a real opinion or foundation of knowledge about anything (other than herself) is a hard no. Like, I really don’t care if you're an Instagram model… whatever that means. Pass. Next.

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#18 Ideal Image

Something that immediately turns me off of a woman is when they desperately try to change you. I dated this one girl who was constantly trying to change the way I dress and grew my facial hair. She asked me to swear more and tried to encourage me to start partying. I guess that her ideal image of me was Fred Durst.

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#19 Me, Me, Me

I was talking to this girl for a few weeks. Our conversations were typically one-sided. I would just ask her questions about her, get to know her a little bit. Our conversations would usually spark from there. But after a couple of weeks, I realized she didn't know a thing about me because she never asked. Like what my major is in school, why I pursued that degree, what my brother's name is, trivial stuff. 

I then told her I forgot my suit at the dry cleaners one day and had to wait until the next week to pick it up. I told her it was for an interview. She never asked things like, "Oh, what's your interview for? What company?" I had mentioned it was for an interview quite a few times, just like enticing her to ask me about it. Then she proceeded to tell me a long story about how she forgot something at some store and had to drive back there to get it. I really got annoyed and just left her alone. She always made things about herself.

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#20 Checking Out 

We were in college together. She was pretty with long red hair and dressed like a model. She liked to take walks in snow storms and sing old Irish songs. She would wink at me while we were in a crowd when she was chatting to someone else. She would sometimes ask me, weirdly, if I thought that she was a “bad person.” I always said, "No, of course not." 

Then, one evening as I was standing with her in line at the checkout desk of the library, she referred to the classmate in front of us as a racial slur. It felt like the blood instantly drained out of me. I looked at her and she winked at me the old way. I stuttered and said that I had forgotten one last book. Instead of climbing the stairs, I made my way through the library and out into the night, feeling soiled by her words. I ran through the dark to my rooming house a mile away but still felt bad. We never dated again.

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#21 I Still Don’t Know

We were still casually dating and she asked me if I was talking to anyone else. I said no and she said she wasn't either. A few days later, I asked her to be exclusive and she said she wasn’t sure about the other guy she was talking to. She then immediately looked like she regretted saying it. She didn't go behind my back, but I don't appreciate liars.

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#22 You Figure it Out

I had a girl I dated and we were pretty into each other. One day, she got extremely upset with me for saying something pretty innocuous because it reminded her of something from her past. I said I'd remember not to bring that up in the future and apologized, though that didn't seem to suffice. It appeared I was to be punished or treated poorly for it. 

I asked if I could get a pass on this as there was no way I could have known what I said would have bothered her, but no. I asked her if there was anything else that really set her off like this and she said yes, though I'd have to find out on my own. I asked if there was anything I could do in the future to avoid upsetting her or causing one of these situations and again she angrily said no.

I was getting a little perturbed by this point and asked if she was really blaming me for saying something harmless that I had absolutely no idea would set her off that way. She said yes. So, I tried to reason with her one last time. "So, you're telling me that there is a minefield out there. That you know where all the mines are but refuse to tell me. And that if I step on one of these and it goes off, it’s my fault and I should be punished as a result?" Indeed she did. We were supposed to go out for dinner that night, but I told her that I wasn't hungry. I then got in my car and went home. 

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#23 Time to Rise Up

I don’t mind paying for dinner every once in a while. But, If I'm dating a woman and she hasn't even reached for her purse to throw in a few bucks or cover the tip by the third date, it’s over at that point. By the third date, she's officially in my "hit it and quit it" file. It's 2020, ladies. Time to rise up.

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#24 Meet the Parents

If she’s still terrified of her parents to the point that making any decision without their consent or approval makes her terrified. She was 32 and we were going on a trip. I told her I was going to rent a car and she said she thought we should only rent a car if her dad thought we should. It was just the two of us on said trip.

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#25 Fun, Fun Times

I was dating this girl who seemed awesome and everything was going well. After a few weeks, I introduced her to some friends, including one female friend. Everyone liked her and all seemed well, but as soon as we left, the girl I was dating started interrogating me about my “relationship” with my platonic female friend. 

My friend has been with her boyfriend for nine years, but this woman was convinced that something romantic was going on between us, no matter what I said. It escalated to the point where she said I had to cut the friend out of my life completely. She’s been a close friend of mine for seven years, so that wasn’t happening. After about an hour of fruitless arguing, I ended things. I don’t think I’ve ever gone from being super attracted to someone to beyond done with them that quickly before. Fun, fun times… 

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#26 Thanks, Daddy!

I once dated a girl for about two months. I knew she had a daughter who was four years old. On the third date, I went over to her place after dinner and a movie. While my girlfriend was doing a load of laundry, the little kid came running up and said, "Mom said to ask you if I can have some cookies please?" I told her, “Yeah, go for it.” Then the kid hit me with, "Thank you, daddy!" and runs off while I'm in shock. I went and told the girlfriend what her daughter just called me and she said, “Yeah, I told her to call you that because you'll be adopting her when we get married." I haven’t noped out of a relationship that fast since high school.

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#27 Chicken Chaser

I saw her kick a chicken. I had been dating her for several months at that point and neither her trashy family or bug-infested trailer were hard passes for me. I honestly liked her up until that point. She was cute and generally fun to be around. Then, she just kicked a chicken. I got in my car and ghosted her.

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#28 Need Any Help?

I was dating someone and she got mad that I wasn't helping her in the kitchen. I previously asked her if she needed help and she said no. So, I didn't help her. I caught trouble because of that. Two weeks later, her microwave was experiencing some sort of issue. I got up immediately to help her and she started freaking out at me for trying to help her. Do you know how you avoid getting into trouble in situations like this? You never see her again. It works 100% of the time.

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#29 Tommy Texter

I paid for dinner, I paid for the movie, I paid for the movie snacks. Would it hurt you to look up from your phone for more than 30 seconds? The icing on the cake was how in the middle of the movie I got so upset and asked her who she was talking to. She replied, "my ex." I got up and walked out. She texted me an hour later and asked why I left. I didn't respond.

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#30 Life-Building Skills

I get turned off by women who balk at life-building. Things like having independent goals, taking steps toward them, and being prepared to be a partner at every step of the relationship. No one wants to hear "I'm just not good at that stuff" when it comes to cleaning, cooking, setting doctors' appointments, paying bills, following through, and generally being a decent, respectful adult. This goes for men and women.

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#31 How She Treated Me

I had a predisposition to asthma, so I dislike smoke of any kind. I broke away from a relationship, not because of her issues, and that's another story. When we tried to reconcile, she was adamant that smoking was fun and I was being immature and boring for not liking them. It wasn't her habit, I could try to live with that. It was how she treated me.

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#32 An Ultimatum

We were having a discussion about how she needed to get a full-time job to support our family and keep our kids in a great school. I was doing a semi-dangerous second job that was affecting all aspects of my life. She said, “I'd rather divorce you than get a full-time job” and has since gaslit the whole conversation to make it seem as if I was the party who wronged her. 

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#33 Rows of Homes

A girl I was dating at the time was walking down the street with me after we had partied. She was just pointing to every house and saying all the things she did with guys in each place. My insides felt like they were withering. This is also the girl who would just ignore me at parties. I started leaving parties when she did this. I still can't believe I dated her for eight months.

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#34 Valuable Time

Entitlement. Thinking your time is more valuable than mine. I was raised “old school.” If I ask you out on a date, I plan on paying. But, if the entire time we’re at dinner, you’re on your phone, taking selfies and pictures of your food or ignoring me, I will excuse myself, pay for my half, then leave. Have the other guy you were texting the entire meal come pay.

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#35 White Privilege

A girl once told me I was only successful because of my “white privilege.” Yeah, not because I overcame a 10-year battle with addiction, defeated homelessness, got professional help, showed up to work early, stayed late, got promotions, and helped others. (She didn't know any of this. It was our second date). It was the ol’ “white privilege” that got me there. We don't talk anymore.

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#36 Witchy Woman

I'm really sorry, but once they start pulling out the witchy energy stuff, I'm going to politely withdraw pretty much right then and there. I have a little bit of tolerance for supernatural caution, but once you start thinking you can talk to your deceased dog or that the stars told you to do something, it's really a big turn off.

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#37 On the Spot

I dated a girl for a few months. She had a falling out with the girlfriend of my housemate. Part of the falling out was going in on a rental together fell apart, which left my girlfriend out some money owed to her by the other girl. I loathed this other girl. Everyone knew this, especially my girlfriend. I tried to make it no one else's business, but I actively avoided ever speaking to her if I could get away with it.

So after the falling out, I stepped in and arranged for my girlfriend to get her money back. Nothing in return. I just sorted it so she didn't have to. I got screamed at and a toaster thrown at me for this. For doing something I hated, just to help her. Asking nothing in return. Putting no new obligations on her at all. I broke up with her on the spot.

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#38 Stick to the Plan

I dated a girl who just couldn’t have fun for the life of her. She was incredibly neurotic and had to follow a schedule to the ends of the earth, so she was always unwilling to be flexible or stay out slightly later and chill. She’d want to leave places early to keep the night on track instead of going with the flow. She was the type of girl to leave before the credits of a movie.

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#39 Fight for Me

I remember going out with a girl three or four times back in the day. I went to a small party with her and she just kept flirting with a bunch of different guys. I found out the next day that it angered her that I wasn’t being jealous and trying to fight the other guys over her. I dodged a terrible woman, didn’t I?

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#40 Two Profiles

She told me that she loved me on our second date right after telling me an hour-long story about her and her ex. She did all of this while deleting her online dating account right in front of me, both of them. There was the one that I found and one of just her butt under a different name that was looking for "hookups only."

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#41 Breath Issues

Stinky breath is a big deal-breaker for me. I had a crush for a very long time. She is from a different class so I don't get the chance to talk to her. However, when I finally did, I was really turned off by the stinky odor coming out of her mouth every time she spoke. I don’t know, I lost interest after that.

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#42 Direct Correlation

Being self-absorbed is something that drives me up the wall. Not just women, really, but anyone. Unfortunately, there seems to be a direct correlation between how attractive a person is physically and their tendency to focus entirely on themselves with little or no empathy for others. I just don’t get it and it’s a big turn-off.

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#43 Nice Vacation

A girl I was dating went on a nice vacation with her family. Not 24 hours into her trip, she had her mother book a flight back for her while the remainder of the family stayed behind to enjoy a vacation for a week. Her mother was a single mother and she paid for everything on a waitress's income. A pretty vile thing for the daughter to do.

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#44 Respect Your Elders

Whenever her grandma used to phone the house, her and her mother would ignore the phone and pretend no one was calling. When they did pick up the phone, they weren’t interested in what the grandmother had to say. I ended up talking to her quite a lot of the time so she could actually have a conversation with someone. It’s a major turn off when you don’t respect grandparents.

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#45 The Complainer

I went on a date with this girl once. I took her to this little Asian place I like and she was rude to the waitress. She was very demanding and complained about everything. The sake was too hot, the food wasn’t as good as this other place, and so on and so forth. She just complained and complained. There was not a second date.

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#46 High School Mentality

I dated a girl that wouldn’t go see any of the Marvel movies because “comic books are nerdy.” It had nothing to do with the movies for me, it just became clear she was the type of girl who would cling to the immature high school social status mentality, which is such a massive turnoff. Oh, and she was like 24 years old.

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#47 Tell Me I’m Pretty

Coming off as disinterested. I’m not hounding you for anything. You don’t owe me a reply or even a match. So why bother matching and replying if you’re just not going to hold up your end of the conversation? There’s also narcissism. I dated a girl recently where her main form of communication was sending me dozens of pictures of her a day just to hear how pretty she was. All we ever talked about was her.

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#48 Pants on Fire

A girl I went on a date with once lied about some old man talking to her when I went to the washroom. When I came back, I asked her which guy it was talking to her and she put her head down and said, "It didn't happen. I just make stuff up sometimes." Not going to lie, I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

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#49 Saying it With Pride

We were dating and both of us had kids. My son was pretty young at that point. She was telling me that she had to get on her kids that day in the parking lot of Walmart. She said that she took her shoe off and was spanking her kids with her shoe in the parking lot. She told the story with a kind of happiness that didn't sit well with me. I don't have anything against spanking. I've only spanked my child a handful of times and it was more of a swat than anything. My issue was that she seemed so proud of it. All I could see was her spanking my child with a shoe and it was enough for me to lose interest in her.

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#50 Cracked Windshield

So, I once went out on a date with a girl. She insisted on picking me up, which I was totally fine with. When she arrived, I saw that her windshield was cracked. When I inevitably asked her about it, she told me she punched it. I can't deal with a woman who's willing to destroy her own property out of anger. 

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