March 4, 2020 | Maria Cruz

Men Share The Last Time They Cried And Why


It’s normal for people to show their emotions every now and again. Men, however, are often told to keep it inside. But, when life throws a curveball at you (or hits you with some beautiful moments), it’s hard not to shed a tear. 

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#1 Let Go Now

I actually cried a couple of days ago when I was taking a shower. The song "You Can Let Go Now Daddy" came on earlier and I listened to it. My grandfather had an aneurysm blow and my mother sang that song to him when they unplugged the machines in the hospital. I honestly think that song will always make me cry.

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#2 GoFundMe Page

My friend and gym partner took his life and I didn’t know for a whole week. I was texting him daily things like, “Hey man where are you at? Why aren’t you replying? If you don’t respond to this message I’m calling the police for a welfare check.” Then a friend found the GoFundMe on Facebook. I cried so hard and loud that I heard my roommate approach my door to knock, he heard me through the door and retreated back to his room.

Today, someone approached me in the gym saying, “Hey, do you know what happened to Ryan? He was in my class and just stopped showing up one day last semester.” I went full deer in headlights before straightforwardly answering what happened. I then returned to my workout to avoid the emotions and awkwardness. 

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#3 I Need You

I was tucking in my seven-year-old daughter a couple of months ago. She told me that she was worried about me passing away before her (I'm only 42 and healthy). So, I had a conversation about how old I am, how likely I am to live and that she will be an adult when I pass. Then she said, "But when you do, will you help me because I need you so much." I lost it.

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#4 Best Case Scenario

One of my nephews was in surgery for something his doctors had never seen in a kid his age before. I got news from my sister that the best-case scenario has happened and they were able to take care of things. So, yeah. I was crying in relief at my desk at work. It's hard to explain what it means to have kids like him in your life.

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#5 First Ultrasound

I cried last week when my wife and I went in for our first ultrasound. My wife and I have had two miscarriages thus far and we had an appointment for our latest pregnancy. While we were there, we saw the precious heartbeat. This little peanut has stuck around the longest so far. So, we have our fingers crossed.

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#6 Proud of Him

After a night of hanging out, a very good friend of mine and I were ending the night at her apartment. We had been chatting for a bit when at one point, she redirected the conversation and began to beam about how she was proud of the man I’ve become. She talked about my character, how I treat people, and my habits. She told me there are things I do that she admires. Things that I’ve been doing for years, and that I thought no one noticed. 

It was a super tender moment between the two of us and I couldn’t help but tear up a little. I’ve never had a friend or loved one, other than a relative, say such beautiful things about me. Bless her soul, I don’t know what I would do without her. To say that my friend is an amazing person wouldn’t be enough.

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#7 Getting it Out

I took a small getaway trip a few weeks back due to stress. It was about an eight-hour drive. I played all of the songs I shouldn't play on the drive up and let myself unwind in the car and get all of that stuff out. I got everything out regarding my job stress, feelings toward my ex, the whole gamut. The trip did me well.

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#8 Reaching Out

I was reaching out to a few different friends to see what they're up to, but everyone else had pre-existing plans. It hit me hard when I realized that I'm always making an effort to reach out, but I don't get the same in return. I do a lot of the work, and when I try to make plans, there's always something that comes up or they're too busy.

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#9 A Little Discipline

I cried about a month ago. I was yelling at my kids because they were misbehaving and I put them to bed early. I broke down afterwards and cried on the stairs. I knew I didn't have to yell as much and said some unnecessary things. My wife talked with me on the stairs and it turned into a turning point in my life. I'm doing much better with discipline. Immediately after the talk with my wife, I went and apologized.

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#10 Childhood Friend

I've teared up a few times, but last time I legitimately cried was in 2010 when we put my childhood dog down. I was a senior in high school when we had to put him down, but we had him since I was in first grade. He was my first and only childhood dog, a Siberian husky and I feel like we grew up in that house together. 

He had some tumor in his stomach that was spreading rather quickly. The attempt at removing didn't go so well as they couldn't get it all. We decided as a family to let him go peacefully so he didn't have to suffer. I'll never forget holding him in my arms in that room as the vet asked me if I was ready for the moment. When she injected him I felt his entire body sink into my arms, he was lifeless in an instant. 

I was so happy he went peacefully without pain, my best friend growing up. I've never expressed my emotions from that moment to anyone besides my parents and my current girlfriend. Whenever I think back to that moment, I get teary-eyed. But, I'm happy I was there for him in his final moments. I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back in time. 

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#11 Grumpy Father

When my father was so grumpy that he just kept on shouting at my mother. He shouted at her so much that she ran out of the house, taking her keys with her. I joined my mother a little later outside and sat with her until she went home. I then headed over to my girlfriend’s house and just cried on her shoulders.

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#12 Staying Friends

When my ex-girlfriend broke up with me through a phone call after six years. I just couldn‘t hold it together. It’s been a few weeks and I feel a bit better now. We also met up and talked about it a bit. The sadness and frustrations are still there, but she found the guts to talk to me about it personally and I appreciate that. She says she still wants to stay friends and all that stuff but, I have no idea how that‘s supposed to work out. I‘m in the process of moving out.

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#13 Black Mamba

I don’t typically get upset over celebrity deaths. Mac Miller’s passing upset me, but Kobe... I feel like I lost a long time friend. I’m not even a Lakers fan, but I love basketball. I grew up watching Kobe. Any kid who’s ever been alone in a gym imagining they had the ball down a point with seconds on the clock knows who Kobe is. He was the Black Mamba. He seemed invincible. 

He should be here, transitioning into his role as the elder statesman of the NBA, offering sage advice to all the rooks who grew up watching him dominate for two decades. His wonderful daughter GiGi should be able to grow up and play for UConn and the WNBA. Instead, I lost a childhood hero, basketball lost a legend, and the world lost someone who truly seemed to care and want to give back.

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#14 Perfect Moment

I teared up last year when my son was born. Not a full-on cry, but unexpected emotions. Last night I was feeding my now 10-month-old, and he was in turn feeding my old Doberman. It just hit me like a wave. Everything was perfect at that moment. My wife started crying because she had never seen me cry. Then my kid started laughing hysterically and my dog barked so loud that he forced a fart out. A perfect moment.

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#15 Good News

A few weeks ago when one of my best friends told me he's going to be a dad. I can go for months and months without shedding a single tear. But, this news got me really emotional in the best sense of the word. This has been an eye-opening experience for me, as I had no idea I was capable of feeling such things.

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#16 Another State

My marriage was on the verge of collapse when my ex-wife got a job offer in another state. She had been unemployed for some time, so she had to take the job. We decided I should stay behind since I had a steady job and divorce was inevitable. My wife moved out and the kids stayed with me until she got a home in her new city. Taking my kids to the airport and putting them on a plane to move away from me was soul-crushing. I held it together until they boarded. Once they got on the plane, I lost it. My kids only lasted a few months with mom before packing up and moving back to live with me.

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#17 When it Rains it Pours

When was the last time I got teary-eyed? Cats in the Cradle. The last time I cried, though? Wow, it must have been years ago. I’d have to say it was when I lost my job, got dumped by my partner and my grandfather passed away. All of it happened within six hours. That was definitely enough to set me over the edge.

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#18 Cool Uncle

Last Friday I was fairly partied out and thought about how much I love my nieces and nephews. I won’t lie, I’m the kind of guy who cries pretty often. I’d have to say that I cry about every other week or so. I don’t think it’s healthy for men to bottle up their emotions and not cry for months or years at a time.

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#19 Ice Cream for Life

My wife has had a sudden onset of insomnia and anxiety since Christmas, which has started to trigger panic attacks. She had one while I was at work and called me. When I was free to call back, my son answered the phone. I was sobbing listening to my six-year-old talk her through the breathing exercises we had practiced. That kid gets ice cream for life, no questions asked.

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#20 Man and Dog

I cried more in the last month than in my entire life up to a month ago. It's just, the years of loneliness caught up to me and it's hitting me really hard. People who say you can be happy on your own are full of it. We need people, we need social interaction, we need love. You can't be healthy and happy without those things, and I don't have those things. It's just me and my dog, and soon it will be just me.

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#21 Disney Movies

I only cry when I watch sappy Disney movies alone. I sometimes cry on purpose just to get it out. I never cry at any other time, though. I do really let the floodgates open when I do have a good cry, though. I can only imagine that I look pretty ridiculous when I full-blown weep at a mildly sad cartoon scene.

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#22 Distance Between Them

In July 2019, I surprised my long-distance girlfriend for her birthday after not seeing her for three months. Her reaction was bland, which shook me a bit, but I thought she was maybe tired from college and work. I got us a nice Airbnb for two nights so we could have some privacy, but nothing felt right. 

Last night, we were just listening to some music. She was sitting on the bed pressed against the wall, eyes closed, I was laying on my stomach and then “Georgia” by Vance Joy started playing. I teared up and covered my face with my arm. That moment I realized our relationship peaked sometime before, it was only downhill ahead. 

I cried without any sound and she felt the bed shaking from me sobbing. She asked me what was wrong and then I opened up about how I feel that I'm 100% into this relationship but not getting the same back. She started crying as well, confirmed everything I said and promised she'd try to improve. We broke up three months later.

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#23 Built-Up Stress

I actually cried a few days ago. I’ve been crazy lonely lately and stress from finals built up. I always used to be able to deal with things, but the past months it felt like no one would ever like me. I felt like I sabotaged everything I tried and started because I never knew what to do and I didn’t know why.

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#24 Dear Jane

Just over a year and a half ago when I was writing up a little letter for my recent ex-girlfriend. We both decided to go our own ways but I was scared she would react. So, I wrote a letter to let her know that it was just an honest handful of issues I couldn't get past and that I would always cherish what we had. Part of the reason I was crying was knowing full well that I cared too much and was constantly taken advantage of. But there I was, selling my soul up the river to try and give her closure so she wouldn't do anything reckless.

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#25 Grandpa’s Stories

The last time I really let go was when my grandfather passed last year. He was a World War II veteran and one of my primary influences for joining the army after high school. I spent about the last 15 years going to visit him at least every other weekend sitting and talking with him, but mostly just listening to all of his stories. We both knew once his time was coming to an end, but it absolutely gutted me once he wasn't around anymore.

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#26 Little Women

This past Saturday afternoon, while watching Little Women with my wife. I hadn't read the book, and the story touched me. I cry often. I don't believe that compromises my manhood. I believe it enhances my humanity. I cry when I see others hurting. I cry when I witness beauty. I cry when I feel sadness. Sometimes, I even cry happy or proud tears! Empathy is what enables us to connect with one another more easily.

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#27 See You in My Dreams

I cried just the other day. I often have these dreams where my dog Snoopy is there. However, he passed away almost five years ago and in my dream, I will recognize this and say to myself, "Wait, Snoopy passed away, how is this possible?" Then somehow, I can't really explain it that well, but me wanting so bad for him to be alive again overwhelms the logical part of my mind and I rationalize that he actually didn't pass and it was a miracle. I then have a great time and am able to enjoy playing with my best friend again and having him come along on my adventures. 

The thing is that these dreams can mess with me when I wake up. I then have to come to the sad realization that he is gone again. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being able to see him again in dreams, but it can be really emotionally overwhelming as well. So, some days I wake and cry because I miss my best friend.

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#28 Fond Memories

Last week when I was reminiscing about my mom, brother and grandmother. I just parked the truck and sat there for at least 20 minutes, just thinking. Sometimes you can't help but get emotional when you're reminded that you won't ever see them again. So, all you have sometimes is fond memories of family members.

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#29 Couldn’t Hold it In

A couple of days ago. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for three years now with no luck. We've been to the fertility doctor several times, had several tests run on both of us, done IUI, the whole nine yards. Nothing. The doctor says there's no physical reason why we shouldn't be able to conceive. It’s been a long, emotional journey for both of us.

A friend then came home from church work in Africa and just got married in September to a native guy in her church. She then came home to see her family and announced that she was expecting a child. My wife and I are certainly happy for them, but it still hurts a lot to see it. I couldn't hold my feelings anymore.

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#30 Snap Scene

I cried last Thursday. I couldn’t sleep, so I was watching YouTube, and a review for Avengers: Endgame popped into my feed. While watching that review, I decided to watch audience reactions to the Thor’s Hammer scene and the snap scene. Seeing and hearing the joy from those scenes made me lose it for some reason. I’ve done this kind of thing before, especially when I was younger. I’d stay up thinking about what kind of dad my dad would’ve been and cried my eyes out knowing I’d never find out. My mom would tell me that sometimes, people just need to cry.

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#31 Moving Out

Today. My wife is looking at an apartment to move out. I want nothing more than to make our marriage work. I'm holding on hope that the space will help her see that she does want to give us another try. If not, I know I will be okay eventually. But this woman is everything to me. It's hard enough now sleeping in different rooms. Waking up not seeing her at all is going to suck.

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#32 Out of Control

The last time I cried was when my daughter was born. At first, I was stoic throughout the whole process. I was next to my wife, coaching her with breathing exercises and the like. My daughter then popped out. The moment I heard her voice, it reverberated in my heart. Next thing I knew, I was bawling out of control.

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#33 Stressed Out

Last week. My wife is pregnant with our third kid, and when my wife is pregnant her body decides to be in so much pain that she can't really do a whole lot. Our older two are twins that are 17-months-old. This new baby will probably be here this week. I've just been having a hard time with working full-time and doing everything without having enough time for me to just sit down. I just let it all out the other night and cried like I haven't cried in years. I just can't wait for this baby to be born so I can have my partner back in my life and don't have everything on my shoulders all the time.

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#34 Rewatching Scrubs

A couple of months ago I rewatched Scrubs. Honestly, the episode when Brandon Fraiser passes away got me crying. I don't really know why. I’ve watched it several times in the last decade, so I know what's going to happen to him. That and I'm not really the crying type, but that episode got me. Felt strangely good.

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#35 Camera History

Two months ago when I found out that my wife made out with a friend of ours on our porch while they were both partied out. I saw the video on our doorbell camera history the next day. She doesn't remember it happening nor does she know why she did it. I have forgiven her for it and we have talked about it many times. But it still hurts.

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#36 Bad and Worse News

Middle of summer 2019, my mom and dad come into my room while my mom is holding a teddy bear. She said, “I have bad news and worse news, which do you want to hear first?” I said bad news and she told me that they were both going to be deployed at the same time. The worse news was I was moving in the summer of 2020. I cried so much. I’m still unable to cry and still unable to support the military that does nothing for us within the past four years.

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#37 Good Puppies

Last year, I had to carry two of my BullMastiffs to the vet (they were sisters) because one had a thing on her tongue. I figured I'll carry both for a check-up. I left the vet without them since they were both sick and had to be put down because it was getting worse. I was with my mother, sister and my wife who all came along for the ride. Everybody was stunned and in tears. 

I tried to brush it off like no big deal, that everything would be fine and that that was for the best. When I dropped everybody home and was finally by myself in the truck, I had to pull over at the next corner to just let it all out. I cried so hard driving became impossible. I must have remained parked there for 10 minutes easily.

A month after that, at my workplace, I adopted this stray dog who wandered into our site. I named him Bruno. He was super playful and the cutest mutt ever. Anytime work got too stressful or my anxiety got the better of me, I'd leave the office and walk out to the car park where he 100% was always there to get my mind off of things. I have spent 30 minutes almost every day just sitting down and rubbing his tummy. Just the sound of my truck coming down the hill to the office and he'd know it was me. He’d prepare his attack on my clean work pants with his dirty paws.

The last time we spent together, I was outside giving him his usual tummy rub and love up. I was then called out to make a couple of runs in my truck. There was a bad thunderstorm that day and I must have been gone for only 15 minutes. Upon returning to my office site, I saw the reddish mane of my buddy Bruno all wet and sodden, just laying in the middle of the road. I told myself it could not be him, no way. 

I parked my truck in the office and a few of my employees told me the bad news. They saw a car hit him. Being their employer, I played it cool and had them go and pick up his body for me, which we buried on site. Like before, as soon as I was left alone, I collapsed in anguish. I have never cried so hard in my life, and this time I cried for days after as well. Anytime I would pull up to work and begin parking, the fact there was no excited mutt to navigate around just broke me up. I have lost family members, teammates and very close friends alike. But, I never cried for them like I did in these two cases.

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#38 Reminded of Her

I cried last night. I was just working on my computer while listening to some music. A song came on that reminds me of my wife who passed away back in 2013. She was only 39 years old. It's been several years and my life has settled into a new normal, but sometimes I cry when I think about her. I still miss her.

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#39 Taking the Time

I had been having a really rough week. When I got off of work and headed home, my girlfriend was at work, so I knew I’d go home to an empty house. But she set me up a bath with balloons everywhere, written with sweet messages and my favorite drinks. It was so kind and sweet. It made me just start crying because she took the time to make me feel better.

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#40 All Over Again

I'm crying right now. I'm having trouble getting over my ex. We dated for eight months but broke up over six months ago. I know it doesn't sound like much, but he was everything for me going into college. I ruined it all by being too obsessive and emotionally distant. I thought I finally had my stuff together recently. But, after a month of not even seeing him in real life, he messaged me something cruel out of the blue and I'm a mess all over again.

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#41 You Owe Me, Sir

A couple of months ago, my dog was hospitalized and I was pretty certain he was going to leave this world. He didn't actually pass away, though. So, my tears were thankfully for nothing. We did, however, have a lengthy conversation about how he’s not allowed to ever leave and he owes me a lot of money for vet bills.

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#42 Lunch with Friends

I was at lunch with my friends. I was ordering my food and got a message that Kobe Bryant had passed in a helicopter crash. Somehow, I maintained my composure and didn’t cry there. I went home, put on my #8 jersey and cried myself to sleep. He was my idol, the only reason I even liked basketball. And now he’s gone.

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#43 Change in Behavior

Lately, my wife has been very angry and snapped at me more than I deserve. I'm tough-skinned and can typically take the flak I get, even when I don't deserve it. Recently, she snapped at me for apologizing for missing the turn she suggested in the car. Instead, she bit my head off for apologizing ahead of time to ease the anger. I started crying wondering what else I could do to be a better husband and make her happier. Yesterday, my wife told me she was very sorry for the way she has been treating me and has noticed her change in behavior.

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#44 Saying Goodbye

I had a decent cry three years ago on the day before I got married. I moved in with my now wife. I cried when I was pulling out of my driveway from my parents’ house. They only live an hour away, but just knowing that I was leaving the house, and the people who raised me for 23 years, was just really emotional.

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#45 A Realization

When I came to the realization that my dad was never going to be the same again due to his progressing Alzheimer's. He recently began having trouble walking since his motor skills have declined. It hit me when I had to help him up a couple of steps into our house. I kept telling him which legs to move and to hold the handrail, but he just couldn't do it. 27 years ago, he was carrying me in his arms up the same steps.

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#46 Supporting Kids

Last night. I've been a stay at home dad for three months now and have hit a wall with how hard it is. I’m struggling to give enough patience and emotional support to my two little girls and struggling to get energized to do it day after day. A lot of it is great and I'm so glad I've got the opportunity while they’re such a great age. But, it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Looks like I'm going to need to do it a good bit longer before a few other things work out. 

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#47 Talking to Dad

I cried last night. I finally worked up the courage to open up to my dad about my anxiety and depression. When I told him everything I was experiencing, his response was, "name one thing you have to be anxious or depressed about." So, he basically just invalidated all of my feelings. It honestly really hurt me.

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#48 Who Grandpa Was

A month ago, my mom told me she was physically harmed by my dad when I was little. He passed a while ago. I grieved him then and now I have to grieve the idea I had of him being a broken, but an otherwise good person. Cried when I told my therapy group. I will cry again when I have to tell my kids who their grandpa really was when they grow up.

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#49 Three’s a Crowd

My wife is leaving me and her boyfriend has been staying at our house. I’m pretending that everything is mutual and cordial but in reality, I’m losing it. I’ve never felt like this, I’ve never felt so lonely. A few times a day, reality strikes and I realize I’m never going to lay in bed with her and rub her hair or watch movies and I just lose it.

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#50 Ready to Help

I’ve been type one diabetic for almost a year now. I’m an actor. The other night, for the first time since I’ve had it, I went pretty low during a show. When I got offstage, stage management and the techs went through such lengths trying to take care of me. They had a chair ready for when I got offstage, water, Skittles, etc. When I got home that night, I called my fiancé and sobbed because I was so bummed that this will be the norm for me now. I was also very moved by everyone’s willingness to accommodate me.

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