For some reason, the plights of man are often overlooked as nothing more than cowardice or non-problems. But the truth is that men battle their own sets of struggles. The prevalent myths about men are usually hyperbolized or downright wrong. So, these men are here to clear the air.
#1 In the Mood
People really need to understand that men aren’t in the mood all the time. I once had an ex-girlfriend who pushed for time alone with her while I had a tube coming out of my back to drain my kidney. I was also on opiates that made it nearly impossible for me to actually do anything. In the end, she got hers, though.
#2 Little Kid Lover
That if we like children but don’t have children of our own, we’re automatically given at the very least a little grilling, if not straight-out asked if we have a disturbing interest in kids. I like dogs too, for pretty similar reasons. Nobody ever asks me if I’m doing something inappropriate with a dog. I don’t get it.
#3 Tricky Situations
We don’t miss signs from women because we’re stupid. I used to pick up on signals and not act on them for two reasons. One: Low self-esteem. Two: I was terrified of taking something the wrong way and getting trapped in a situation where the girl would actually not have been flirting. There’s any number of bad outcomes if a girl does something you think is flirting. For one, obviously, she could call you a creep for coming on too strong since you already thought she liked you. For another, maybe you just don’t want that one last blow dealt to your self-confidence. It’s a tricky situation.
#4 I’ll Have You Know
It's getting better now, but back in the day basically every guy on TV was a sports-obsessed, car and motorcycle loving, or a beverage-swilling ape who couldn't function without his wife to look after him and the kids. My wife went away last week for work and I'll have you know that only half my kids got eaten by wolves.
#5 Single Dad
My father was a great single dad to my sister who’s mother, unfortunately, chose not to participate in her daughter’s life for the majority of it. He has gotten no end of unkind looks, comments, and assumptions that bother him so much they’ve brought him to tears. The ones that matter know, but this world does not appreciate single dads raising young ladies like they should.
#6 HouseKeeping Duties
I’ve been married for years and my wife complained I didn't do enough. I told her I did plenty. She insisted. A parlay was struck and for two weeks I did nothing. This was easy since I'm home (and awake) maybe four hours a day. By the end of it, the sink was overflowing, the trash was piled high, the floors were disgusting, the laundry was backed up, and all the other "fix it" tasks were completely messed up. She hasn't said a word since. My trick, clean up as you go. If you're the last to use it up, or fill it up, take care of it. Years of taking care of a woodshop translates well to housekeeping.
#7 Wedding Planner
That we're all not interested in or incapable of being involved in the planning of our weddings. I cannot tell you how many comments I received during the two-year lead-up to our wedding like, "Remember, it's her day, not yours!" I'm not going to lie to you and say I'd been looking forward to getting married since I was 12 or something. But, I took an active interest together with my wife in the planning of our wedding.
"It's not my day, it's hers?" Nope. It was our day. We planned it together. Her vision definitely brought it all together and she did an astounding job, but she didn't just make decisions on her own. We talked about and worked together on every single thing involved in the event. We were both ecstatic with how it turned out. It turned out beautifully. I try not to toot my own horn very often but I never thought the best party I'd ever go to would end up being my own!
#8 Pushy Men
Men can get harassed by women and even other men. I've had some very pushy gay men approach me, one going as far as trying to touch me inside my underwear after I said three times that I was straight and not interested. Luckily, the women I was out with immediately chastised that guy. But, to be honest, guys laugh at me when I tell that story and talk about how badly they would've beaten him up. Women who I've told were always shocked and emphatic.
#9 Fruity Drinks
Fruity drinks are not always for women. I always order fruity frozen drinks and my wife always orders lagers. Half the time, the waiter gives me the lager instead. Nobody scoffs when a dude's got a knockout Slurpee, but as soon as you add some of the good stuff, it's a girl's drink? No way, man. I’ll drink what I want whenever I feel like it.
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#10 Get a Grip
Where to start. I was a stay-at-home dad for two years. The sheer volume of Karens at parks and playgrounds used to drive me up a wall. They were always dumbfounded when I didn't need their help. Yes, I can change a diaper. Probably faster than you can. Yes, I have snacks. Celery, carrots and a little ranch. Yes, I have drinks. Water bottles and juice boxes. Yes, I have lunch. Chicken cutlet sandwiches. No, we didn't buy them at the deli, I can actually cook. No, I don't need wine. It's 10:00 a.m., Karen. Get a grip.
#11 Without Fear
Apparently, people seem to think that as men, we aren’t afraid of walking alone through a dark parking lot at night. After a great deal of asking everyone from police, to self-defense instructors, to a green beret and a bunch of combat vets, to the most cracked-out nuts. I’ve not yet met a single person who had no fear.
#12 Friends Wanted
I want friends just like anyone else. But when I try to talk to people like my guy friends, they assume I'm trying to date them. No. I just like asking my friends how they were because I hate people who only talk to you when they want something. So, I talk to everyone as a show of you are my friend, not the services you offer.
#13 Male Victims
The hypocrisy is astonishing to me. If a woman physically attacks a man, he somehow must have done something to deserve it. This gets even worse in those cases where male victims of domestic abuse somehow get arrested in case the police get called. It happens even though they’re the victims and not the attacker.
#14 Man Up
I had a friend get told that he needed to "man up.” This happened when he told a girl that he wasn't ready for a relationship with someone new yet. My friend had just lost his wife of 15 years and told this girl he wasn't looking for a long-term relationship from the outset. What she said is just manipulative.
#15 Captain Horndog
I probably don’t want to sleep with you. It’s usually a decision figuring out if I actually want to sleep with you even if I’m already interested in starting something with you. Although, promoting ourselves as Captain Horndog makes us look cool to other guys, so a lot of dudes do that. Either that or they’re desperate.
#16 Super Creepy
Apparently, all men are creeps. A few ruin it for the rest of us, and now some poor random guy is getting arrested because he was watching over his kids on the playground. The other one that bugs me is the assumption that men don't care about their children. People see a guy with his children and are all like, “Oh, Mommy must be busy, are you having fun babysitting?” No, he's spending time with his kids, like any good parent, you idiot.
#17 Men Have Limits
"The only reason men exist is to meet the needs of my family." In the span of eight months, I moved my family to their reservation, bought a car and truck, restored a trailer, rebuilt the motor to my truck, bought my son a motorcycle, and met every want my wife and son had. All while working six days a week.
After seven months, I snapped. My wife said, "I had no idea that you felt this tired." In that time, I took one weekend off and some fool burned my house down. I went a full year of not taking personal time because of the rebuild. At one point, I was skipping showering for a week at a time because I would just drop without warning. Men have limits too. A family should take care of each other, not a single person taking care of the family.
#18 Actually Nothing
When women ask, "What are you thinking about?” and you reply with "Nothing," we actually are thinking about nothing. My wife never believed me until a family counselor brought it up. Made her realize I wasn't the only one doing it. Either that or what we're actually thinking about is so trivial and stupid that the second we're interrupted with the question, we immediately forget what it was. Sometimes, we also just don’t feel like sharing if we do remember because it is kind of dumb.
#19 All the Same
"All men are the same." God, I wish. I can't tell you how many times I've been to a stupid event with my girlfriend and she disappears and I'm left hanging out with the other boyfriends and husbands and there's nothing for us to talk about. I'm not into cars, sports or any other basic male activities. All men are not the same.
#20 It Is Possible
I'm not a man, but one thing that annoys me about male stereotypes is that they can't be friends with girls without wanting to go to bed with them. Most of my friends are guys and none of them have ever tried to get with me. Men can just be friends with you and maintain a platonic relationship. It is possible.
#21 Miss Independent
Usually women who say men are threatened by independent women tend to be condescending, obnoxious and narcissistic. Men aren’t threatened by “independence.” I’m sure a lot of men would love being in relationships where their partner also has their own life and hobbies separate from them and can give them some alone time too. Women who only have a surface-level mentality and appearance without any of the strength of character are not attractive to anyone.
#22 Non-Manly Preferences
I work with a lot of people who are coming to terms with non-manly preferences. I, on the other hand, lift for fun, love craft lager, sports, superheroes and fast cars. Some of my colleagues act like I'm culturally oppressed or not in touch with my sensitive side. Never mind that maybe I like what I like and my sensitive side is not reserved for you.
#23 Toy Store
Get too close to a child and you’re automatically branded a predator. I work as a low tier manager in a toy store. Even though I have a company t-shirt and name tag, people still ask me if I work there. People still look at me weird when I’m going around the store doing whatever. It's sometimes hard to ignore. I just hope people will understand that working at my dream job doesn't mean I want to do stuff to their kids. It hurts sometimes.
#24 A Fun Time
I don’t understand why women think that men are always in the mood. Either that, or we’re doing something wrong if we’re not in the mood. My girlfriend got so upset with me that she almost broke up with me. I had been up for 20 hours by that point and had a headache. I was exhausted. Boy, she got mad. That was a fun time.
#25 House for Free
My ex used to use male victim-blaming all the time. She went to law school to be a defense attorney. When I broke up with her, I told her to move out of my house (I owned it way before meeting her). She refused, so I applied for an eviction. She told me if I ever went through the eviction, she would just call the police and tell them I abused her so I would go to jail and she would use my house for free.
#26 Marinate in Problems
This whole “be a man” schtick that leads guys to internalize their problems and marinate in their own issues and neglect their mental health drives me nuts. It took me a long time to find female friends just so I’d feel comfortable talking about my depression and get advice on how to get the help I need. If I did not, I would without a doubt be gone right now. I stamp this thinking out wherever I can find it. It was almost the end of me.
#27 Giving Up
When a guy gives you a compliment, stop assuming he's trying to sleep with you! My mom was a hairdresser and I spent a lot of time in beauty salons as a kid growing up. It was mind-numbingly boring, but I did see how hard it was for women to get their hair done and how much work is involved. As an adult, when I see a woman with nicely styled hair or fingernails, I can appreciate how much time and work went into it, so I'll compliment from time to time. Problem is, too often, my compliments are often met with scoffs and eye-rolling. Eventually, I just gave up complimenting anyone.
#28 In Need of Assistance
It bothers me that if I see a child on their own in a supermarket looking lost, I have to look for an employee or any female. It just so happens that men can't approach the child themselves. Please note, this is not the same everywhere. When I taught English in China a number of years ago, it was not a worry.
#29 Safe Distance
There’s a myth that men are scared of periods or can't go shopping for tampons or pads. Give me a break. If a girl ever sends me to the store to pick up some pads for her, I'm grabbing pads. I’ll also pick up some other essentials like ibuprofen and chocolate to throw at her from a safe distance behind a couch.
#30 Taking Advantage
If you support your wife's career 100% and she is more advanced than you professionally speaking, or if she earns more, then you could be considered a loser. You could also be considered lazy or taking advantage of her. But, if you’re the one who’s successful or earning more, then it's because your wife must be a great supporter behind the scene.
#31 Man Cave
Personally, I hate the man cave nonsense. My wife and I peacefully coexist in a space we create together. Neither of us needs to carve out a hiding place from the other. Why would I want to spend most of my time away from her? I mean, yeah sometimes you want to be alone. You don't need a dedicated room for that.
#32 Strong Wife
There’s one myth in particular that I really can’t stand. Just because my wife is a strong woman with opinions and feelings, I don't "wear the pants" in our relationship. I like her strong beliefs, that's why I got married to her. I don’t appreciate how people think I am less because my wife is an amazing woman.
#33 Don’t Teach
I’m not a guy, but I'm studying to be a special needs teacher. Last week, a professor of mine said that men weren't good teachers because they lack empathy and can't understand children or other humans. Oh, and she said she could say that because that was just the experience she made. I honestly hate her so much.
#34 Normal People
I can't stand the style of writing in men's magazines where everything presumes we're these eternal frat boys, lager-chugging, women-chasing, carb-loading buffoons who can only speak in bro language and innuendo. I get that you're trying to build community, but just talk about things in normal language and treat us like normal people.
#35 I Could Go On
All the men who aren't hot are immediate creeps. Men never ask for directions. Every man gets opportunities handed to them regardless of qualifications, simply because they’re men. All men like sports. Men are hardwired to be aggressive and competitive. I could go on forever with the ridiculous stereotypes out there.
#36 She Has My Respect
I don't care if a girl is interested and flirting with me. I have a wife and would never leave her for someone else. I had a girl who wouldn't stop pestering me and then asked, "What? You don't think I’m attractive?" Yeah, you're attractive, but so is my wife, and she also has my respect as she wouldn't try to sleep with a married guy.
#37 Toxic Masculinity
I hate the commercial for those Alpha King (or whatever they're called) where they play on the "We have less testosterone than our fathers, and even less than their fathers!" It’s as if to imply that men are weak if they have slightly lower testosterone. It really capitalizes on a level of toxic masculinity that is just so barbaric nowadays.
#38 Rainbow Objects
I was at a festival and offered a chick some water since it was hot out. Her friend stormed up to me and screeched, "She has a boyfriend." Without saying a word, I turned, looked at her and pointed to the three different rainbow objects on my body. I then pointed to my husband standing next to me. She had a dumbfounded look. A few minutes later, the girl I offered water to came up and apologized to me over it. That was the first time I had ever even remotely experienced something like that. Somehow, me offering water to someone when it's 90 outside means I want to sleep with them…
#39 Men and a Baby
Apparently, society seems to think that as men, we’re incapable of parenting as well as a woman can. Either that or we need a random woman to come hold a man’s child because they’re crying. My personal favorite is when someone automatically assumes that we are “babysitting” when our spouse isn’t with our children.
#40 Facebook Groups
I'm in a lot of girl groups on Facebook and you'll get some posts from women saying that their boyfriend doesn't want as much intimate time as she does. You will literally get hundreds of comments saying that he's either gay, with someone else, or doesn't love her or doesn't find her attractive anymore. Even when the poster would say that he's on antidepressants or that he's gained or lost a load of weight, everyone tells her to leave him because "He's not a real man." I've gotten into a lot of arguments with other women when I tell them not all men are relations crazy.
#41 Perfectly Capable
I changed thousands of diapers and it never bothered me once. I was perfectly capable of dressing my children. I know how to open a jar of baby food. I know how to wash and hang my kids’ school uniforms. I'm not looking for a prize because of it, but I'm also looking to not be treated like I'm an idiot without help.
#42 Depressing Parking Lot
I used to eat my lunch at a local lake that has a park next to it. I would park facing the lake with the park behind me. I just sat in my car, listened to podcasts and ate my lunch. One day, a lady called the cops on me for "being suspicious.” She said that she was afraid for her children's safety. Luckily, the cop was cool and told the lady I was free to eat there since it was a public place. But, I didn't really want to risk getting a not cool cop in the future. So goodbye calming lake, hello depressing parking lot.
#43 Baby Yoda
That we only ever think about one thing. Technically that's true at times, but it's rarely the "one thing" you assume it is. For example, the only thing I can think about the past few weeks is how stinking adorable Baby Yoda is. I mean, what the heck is that? Is it even legal for something to be that adorable?!
#44 Believe It or Not
It made me really upset when I told my previous girlfriend that I was a virgin (I was 22 at the time) and she refused to believe it. It’s hard enough telling her something like that as it is. For her not to believe it was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I had several opportunities growing up, but was always too nervous (parents were always trying to catch me) and wasn't able to perform until I finally got my own place and was in a comfortable setting.
#45 Nowhere to Turn
That we never need help. When my ex-wife would hit me and throw glass bottles, I didn’t have a lot of places to turn. Family and friends claimed I should “handle her” and outreach groups said that they didn’t have a lot of resources for a man who just needed a safe place for a night. The managers at our apartment complex claimed I must have been the abuser even after I got police reports showing that she was removed. We bruise as easy, but are told to “be a man.” I think that’s part of why self-harm is more likely to take us than women.
#46 A Better Place
That we “manspread” to assert dominance. Anyone who says that doesn't have an organ hanging between their legs. It's quite uncomfortable when you squish them with your legs closed or if you let it sit on your lap then your package is like “hello.” It’s such a sexist term. Sexism works both ways, people. We “manspread” for comfort. We're not all machismo insecure men trying to put women down. And if you’re offended, please find me a better place to put my junk.
#47 A Mile in My Boots
I'm a gay white male and I'm repeatedly told that my whiteness and maleness overcomes whatever other adversity I may face. I sure wish those people would shut up and walk a mile in my boots before making such blanket claims. Everyone struggles, we should be focusing on lifting everyone up, not turning it into a ladder of adversity.
#48 Correcting Men
That men, on the whole, are worse people than women and women exist to correct us. My opinion is that humanity is flawed period. Acting like one gender is better than the other is not constructive and also, wildly inaccurate. It doesn't mean there aren't saintly women and terrible men, but the opposite is also true.
#49 Man Cold
I'm not "mansplaining" because you're a female and I think you're an idiot. I'm sharing my knowledge because I actually know what I'm talking about. I don't care if you're female or not and I don't think you're an idiot. If I didn't know, I wouldn't be talking. Also, the "man-cold" — if you get sick, I'm compassionate, bring you tea, make you soup and wrangle the kids so you can rest. If I'm sick, it must be a "man-cold" so fie on me.
#50 Men's Pressures
Society seems to think that men don't have body issues and anxiety or neuroses about their self-image. There's a somewhat prevalent mindset that guys aren't held to the same beauty standards as women. Yeah, tell that to the balding, overweight guys who are also under six feet tall. Men are under similar kinds of pressure.