When you’ve been married for years, sometimes decades, it’s natural for the romance to fizzle. If you throw children into the mix, it can be even harder to find time for each other, often worsening the problem. It’s never a good feeling to look across the room at your spouse and wonder if the magic is still there. But, the good news is that you can do a multitude of things to recapture the fairytale you once had.
Every Relationship Has Ups and Downs
In an interview with Woman’s Day, author Alisa Bowman said that a lot of couples panic when they recognize fading romance. Every couple out there essentially believes that they’ve married their perfect person, so when a wrench is thrown into the mix, they lose their heads. While this is a natural response, it’s important to remember that every relationship will have its ups and downs.
There are a lot of different lows your relationship can reach, so there are various ways to deal with them. However, keep in mind that there are a few things here and there that can help avoid a serious plummet. Keep your head about you, talk things out with your partner, and take responsibility for any wrongdoing. Patience is also critical when dealing with any low in life.
Always Communicate With Your Spouse
A huge issue that many couples face is not sharing what they should. If something is bothering you, you need to have an adult conversation with your partner about it. Not only do you air your own grievances, but you encourage your partner to follow suit. In the end, you both welcome better communication, which only strengthens your partnership.
If you’ve noticed that your partner doesn’t pay as much attention as they used to or that your date nights have fallen by the wayside, say something. If you don’t pipe up, how are they supposed to know what’s bugging you? Not to mention, talking things out nips any resentment in the bud. Your relationship can’t get any better if you have years’ worth of bitterness built up.
Talking things out will also bring you guys closer, which is a simple way to recapture romance and intimacy. Did you see a great date idea online? Suggest it! Were you upset that they didn’t help with the chores? Mention it. Always keep those lines of communication open.
Make Time For Each Other
Juggling a job, kids, hobbies, and alone time rarely leaves time for dates. While it’s easy to slip into the crack, try to make more time for each other. Even if you spend all your time together in the same house, you can still feel a serious lack of intimacy. After all, you’re living with a spouse, not just a roommate.
A good way to rekindle romance is through some basic touching. When you guys were first dating, you undoubtedly held hands, snuck secret kisses, and hugged each other more often. At one point, the touching may have stopped, but it’s time to bring it back. Hold their hand when watching a movie. Snuggle together on the sofa. Kiss them on the cheek when they’re making coffee.
Date nights are also another way to ensure you guys don’t lose touch (pun intended). Schedule a day in the week where you guys do something special together. To avoid falling into a routine, switch up what you do. Maybe alternate suggestions for date night to introduce a new kind of spark. There are hundreds of fun date ideas just waiting for you.
Don’t Forget Your Needs
Just because we’re talking about marriage doesn’t mean you should ignore your needs. Everyone needs some alone time now and then. You’re separate people and should act as such. So, recharging your batteries is a solid way to clear your head and remain committed to your relationship. Plus, alone time also involves a certain level of trust, which also helps to strengthen your connection.
It’s natural for the excitement to fizzle out of long-term relationships, but that doesn’t mean that it needs to be your new status quo. Recapture the magic by welcoming more time together and opening the lines of communication. Keep committed to maintaining that spark and know that every relationship has its ups and downs!