When you decide it’s time to share your life with someone, there’s almost no greater feeling. After all is said and done with planning the wedding and trying 20 cake samples, you’ve earned a partner for life. Chances are that you and your significant other have spent enough time together to become each other’s best friend, and having that forever is a magical feeling.
Though, there are some instances where people get married for the wrong reasons. Whether they’re in financial trouble or simply getting married for tradition’s sake, marriage doesn’t always end well. Here are five signs that you may not be ready to tie the knot.
1. You Have Serious Doubt
Obviously, having wedding jitters before the big day is normal. Did everyone RSVP? Will your dress get ripped before you have to walk down the aisle? Will Uncle Peter cause a scene? These little snafus are ones that you can fluff off once you see that everything is going relatively well.
However, there’s a difference between pre-wedding jitters and cold feet . If you find yourself sincerely wondering whether or not this is the right move for you, it’s time to evaluate. You can always talk to your partner or even sign up for some couple’s counselling to get to the root of your problems. But, if you’re actually a bit worried about going through with it, it might be time to take a step back.
2. You Want Financial Security
A husband and wife will support each other through thick and thin. The two of you will most likely go in on some things together (a house, the wedding, etc.) and that’s okay. It’s when you’re getting married to avoid any financial disasters that are the problem. If you’re worried that you won’t make rent without your partner or that you can’t put a sizable down payment on your dream house, marriage isn’t the answer. It’s not fair to either one of you to lock yourselves into a commitment for the wrong reasons.
3. You Want a Dream Wedding
In this social media-driven world, it’s hard not to envision a perfect wedding. Most women daydream about their big day for years before it happens. But, marriage isn’t just about the wedding. Some people get married at City Hall, others have quiet ceremonies at home. It’s not the wedding that should excite you, but the idea of spending your life with one person. If you’re only thinking about your dress, the ring, and centerpieces… you’re not focusing on the right element. And, chances are, you’re probably not as engaged in the relationship as you think.
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4. You’re Expecting a Child
Don’t get us wrong, having a child before marriage is completely fine! Some couples even invite children from previous relationships to their wedding. If you’re committed and expecting, that’s great! But, if you’re trying to salvage a failing relationship with marriage and a baby, you’re heading for a dead end. After all, your problems will still be there after you have your first dance as man and wife. The only difference now is that you’ll have paperwork to deal with.
5. You Don’t Want to Be Alone
It’s scary to think that we’ll go through life without a partner. It’s also something that’s no doubt crossed our minds at one point or another. But, getting married to the wrong person can make you feel more alone than ever. Don’t rush into a lifelong commitment for the sake of avoiding loneliness. Be comfortable with who you are and learn to love spending time with yourself. Once you become comfortable with you, you’ll learn more about who you want and what you want, all without settling.
The bottom line is that marriage is a big step. You need to truly think about whether you chose the right partner and whether you’re committed for the right reasons. There’s nothing wrong with talking things out with your significant other or a certified counsellor. But, it’s not worth it to enter a lifelong commitment with someone when your heart isn’t in it.