It’s understandable that people want the most special day in their lives to go exactly according to plan, but that so rarely happens. Love, marriage vows, and big expensive ceremonies offer little protection against this world’s many humiliations, tragedies, and dramatics—especially when alcohol is involved. Wedding guests shared the absolute worst moments they’ve witnessed at nuptials: here they are.
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#1 This One Leaves Me Speechless
I went to a wedding where it was actually a rule that guests weren’t allowed to talk directly to the bride. Her mom and maid of honor were the only ones allowed to.
#2 Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater
I went to a co-worker’s wedding where the maid of honor admitted to being the “other woman” that the groom had been cheating with for months. The bride ran out in tears. The groom immediately tried to salvage the ceremony by asking the maid of honor to become the new bride. She refused.
#3 You Win!
Nobody had even said “speak now” yet, but the groom’s ex still decided to get up and scream out that he was her soulmate, that she forgave him for “this whole thing,” and that they should just leave now because he’d proven his point—by breaking up with her five years earlier, falling in love with someone else, and holding a wedding.
#4 Father of the Bride
The father of the bride had been pretty absent after divorcing her mom. He had remarried and gotten involved with a controversial religious group. His new wife was not invited to the wedding, but the father came and seemed like he was there to be supportive—until he stood up during vows and proclaimed that my friend was “a pig just like her mother,” and that the groom should “get out while he can” because the bride was “a soul-leeching succubus.”
#5 Maid of Dishonor
I am supposed to be a maid of honor at my best friend’s wedding, but she told me that since I’m ugly, she won’t let me be in any pictures. I’ve never been so insulted in all my life.
#6 How Dare They Not Come
One day after her wedding, a friend I went to school with went on a rampage on Facebook about how none of her friends showed up to her big day, and the ones that did show up didn’t dance or participate in anything at the reception. She blasted everyone and made her wedding party feel bad because she spent too much money on unnecessary things that no one used (mainly the photo booth and tons of rented costumes and accessories to use in the booth).
She made a second post an hour later complaining about all of the people that stopped her to take pictures and didn’t let her enjoy her party. It was hilarious to watch the comments flood in from people who went and were angry, and a few requested their gifts back. The kicker here is that a former classmate, someone who has a lot of mutual friends with the bride, lost his infant son earlier that week and the baby’s services fell on the same day as the wedding. Most of the people she was complaining about for not coming had opted to go to the child’s funeral service instead of her wedding. She lost a lot of respect and a lot of friends in two hours.
This is a story of a groomzilla. The bride would set out a list of tasks for him to complete. Then, the second she was out of earshot, he’d turn to one of the planners and say, “You heard her. Get it done.” He was also just generally useless, coming to meetings late, always getting tipsy with his groomsmen and expecting his bride handle all the work herself.
#8 Telling It Like It Is
I was at a friend’s shotgun wedding. He was forced to marry this girl whom he had impregnated because she thought that expired aspirin was an acceptable alternative to birth control. During the ceremony, his cousin objected with something along the lines of, “Come on, man! The dummy was using expired aspirin as birth control!! You wanna spend your life with someone like that??!!” There was laughter, shock, and even some mild applause from the audience. I personally laughed till I cried.
#9 Take a Chill Pill
A couple I knew were getting hitched and I had no warning that his mom was totally crazy. She rolls up to rehearsal late and proceeds to be inappropriate at dinner. I have to escort her out. The next day she cancels most of the guests and catering in protest, then eventually assaults the bride’s dad, who was dying of cancer. Cops got called.
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#10 Someone’s Got Beef
We held my wedding at my grandmother’s house out in the country next to a cattle farm. No animal had made a peep the entire time. Then, at the precise moment when the priest asked for any objections, a cow loudly went, “moo!” We all laughed and continued with the ceremony.
#11 With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?
I’m a commercial photographer and my best friend since childhood asked me to photograph his twin sister’s wedding because they didn’t have the budget for an expensive wedding photographer. So I figure out my costs and tell them I’ll do it for a break-even fee of $400—about 1/4 of what they’d pay otherwise. They agree.
On the wedding day, the bride starts panicking because she doesn’t have her checkbook. She promises to pay cash later instead. I follow them around from 9:30 AM to 1 AM, hearing from both the bride and groom that they got enough cash as gifts to pay me later on. They never did. A week later, I’m about 10 hours into what would become 30 hours of editing 250 final photos and still no money, bills from my expenses coming due.
I Text them, no reply. Turns out they took off on a month-long honeymoon in Europe. I had to call up her dad and get him to pay me instead. No one ever even bothered to thank me for doing them this favor. My buddy and I now have a strained relationship as a result of this whole ordeal. I don’t shoot weddings or offer friend discounts anymore, with no exceptions.
#12 Bob’s Your Uncle
At the “Speak Now” part, my cousin Bobby stood up and said, “I object.” My uncle immediately yelled out, “Shut the heck up, Bobby!” Everybody laughed and my cousin sat down. We never did find out what he planned on saying…
#13 Little Sister, Don’t You Do What Your Big Sister Done
I was my sister’s maid of honor. During a peak planning time, our aunt passed away. I kept trying to get in touch with my sister that entire day. When I finally reached her, I explained that I had been trying to speak with her all day to let her know that our aunt had died. I got blasted about how busy she is, and then she ripped into me about where I stood with my tasks. She was pretty rotten on the day of the wedding, too. We are no longer close…
At my cousin’s wedding, everything had been going great. Then, all of a sudden, his son from a previous marriage interrupts the vows to announce that the bride has been cheating on his dad with their dealer and that he can’t let his dad marry her. My other cousin yelled at the son to either sit down or leave. The son left and the wedding continued. Five years and one baby later, he finds out it was all true. They are no longer together.
#15 Long Term Investment
I was my sister’s maid of honor and her unpaid wedding planner. She was a Bridezilla. Not only did I plan and pay for her wedding shower, but she also wanted a private gift from me—from her super expensive registry where I couldn’t afford a darn spoon. Everything had to be perfect and meticulously planned, right down to our toes, weight, and how much we ate and drank. She’s a micromanager by personality. The marriage didn’t end up even lasting three months.
#16 Maternal Instinct
I went to a friend’s wedding and, during the reception, his mother (an abusive alcoholic) got up to give an impromptu speech. She said, “I can’t believe that my son is marrying that horrible loser. She’s going to ruin his life!” The groom ripped the microphone out of her hand, then yelled at her and asked her to leave. For the record, the bride turned out to be an incredible person.
#17 Marrying on Borrowed Time
My step brother’s wife-to-be waited until my dad flew in for their destination wedding, and greeted them at the airport with “We need $12,000 for the location or there’s no wedding tomorrow.” Over 150 people had flown in for this wedding, many of whom couldn’t actually afford to go but came anyway because she bullied and degraded them into going in to debt to attend.
#18 Hearing Aid
I used to be an audio engineer at a small chapel that held weddings. At one of them, a woman stood up, dramatically trying to share an objection. I wasn’t expecting this, so I didn’t have any sound system or microphones hooked up that would have picked up what she was saying for the whole room to hear clearly. Nobody other than those right around her knew what she was saying. Before I could even think of what to do, someone screamed out, “Don’t you listen to nothing she has to say! You two go ahead and get married!” The whole room laughed and the ceremony continued. Phew!
#19 I Told You So!
I objected at a small wedding in Vegas. I was tipsy and had already voiced my opinion the night before to the bride-to-be. I told her that her future husband would probably end up back in jail and leave her to raise all the kids alone. His friends yelled at me when I made my little speech. Fast forward a year, he is now in prison for robbery and she is alone.
#20 Old Maid
I’m a photographer’s assistant. All of the brides and grooms I’ve had the pleasure of working for have been incredible, but the groomsmen and bridesmaids have been some real pieces of work.
One wedding, the maid of honor wanted to control the formal portraits, told the main photographer how to do her job, freaked out at the caterers because the cake was late even though they weren’t connected to the bakery at all, told one of the other bridesmaids she should have lost weight to fit into her dress better, and was really just an all around idiot who stressed the bride out all day long.
#21 No Laughing Matter
A friend of mine works at a wedding venue. She told me about one wedding where the best man decided to object by making some jokes about the time that he slept with the bride. He assumed that the groom already knew about it. Turns out he didn’t, and he was NOT happy. The reception was abruptly canceled and all the guests were sent home.
#22 Skin in the Game
The bride for a wedding I attended made all of her friends sign a contract promising we wouldn’t get any fake tans because no one was allowed to be tanner than her. Also, no tan lines on were permitted anywhere on our lesser tanned skin.
#23 Practice Makes Perfect
My step-sister’s best man objected during the dress rehearsal the night before the actual wedding. It was a very large wedding and the rehearsal was bigger than a lot of weddings are. The minister was going over the vows quickly, while giving instructions on what to do. When he said something about objections, the best man interrupted and declared that he had to put a stop to this. He was in love with the bride and was sure that she felt the same way. Everybody was horrified. It caused plenty of chaos and confusion. Neither the bride or groom ever spoke to him again.
#24 This Takes the Cake
The bride insisted that her mom make the wedding cake. The wedding planner warned them that you need to include a stand in the middle of the cake for support if you are going to use a wedding cake topper. The mother insisted she knew what she was doing and that her three cakes piled on top of each other were sturdy enough to support the large figurine cake topper.
Fast forward to them setting up the reception. I was speaking to the planner about something and, the whole time we were meeting, she kept apologizing for having trouble focusing because something about the cake was looking off. We were wrapping up our meeting when, suddenly, she screams and bolts out of her chair. The topper had collapsed through the three layers of cake, then through the front—leaving the entire front of the cake a pile of crumbs with frosting.
#25 Them’s Fightin’ Words
My cousin was getting married. My aunt and the mother of the groom did not get along well. During the ceremony, when the pastor got to the part about objecting, my aunt said something to my uncle. The groom’s mom jumped up, grabbed my aunt, and the two of them just started going at it—all the way out the door and into the parking area. They were eventually separated and the wedding continued.
#26 The Icing on the Cake
We had a guestzilla. An older aunt of the bride’s showed up wearing a white lace gown. She told the groom she didn’t want him in the group picture because it was only for “family.” When the caterer put aside the top tier of the cake and put it in a box for the couple to have on their first anniversary, she began to pick off and eat the icing with her fingers.
When the pastor got to the part “or forever hold your peace,” the bride said, “Yes, I’d like to say something.” Then she turned around to her guests and said, “I’d like to thank my maid of honor for sleeping with my fiancé last night.” With that, she threw her bouquet down and stormed off. The story even made it onto local radio at the time.
#28 Rags to Riches
My good friend is a wedding planner and had one client where the groom had treated her awfully and made the whole experience absolutely miserable for her. A week after the ordeal, his lovely bride asks my friend for her address as she wanted to send a cake over as a thank you gift. An hour later, she calls my friend to confirm that she had given her the right address.
My friend says yes, not realizing that the bride and groom were personally delivering the cake. My friend is super humble, but she lives in a huge mansion, doesn’t actually need the money from her event planning job, and doesn’t generally attend high society events because her father thinks it’s beneath them. The couple was in for a shock.
The groom tried to be overly friendly and chummy with my friend—hoping that she wouldn’t remember the disgusting treatment he’d given her last week. She just graciously accepted the cake, wished the bride well and closed the gate on them.
#29 More Than Bros?
Best man professed his love for the groom. It was a lot of awkward laughing and trying to play it off as a joke. Painful.
#30 Parental Discretion
In my experience, this one bride’s family was the worst I ever dealt with. She was marrying an Australian guy and her family made it immediately clear that they didn’t want her marrying a foreigner. They even brought in an ex-boyfriend to try to seduce her before the wedding. It was ironic, because the ex looked like a barely 5’6” tall while the groom was easily 6’6” tall and looked like some kind of Greek warrior.
The worst part was that this wedding was just a formality because they actually got married in Australia. The whole point of this wedding ceremony was to make her parents happy, and the groom was even paying for most of it as a gesture of goodwill—yet her family was the reason it was a disaster. I felt pretty bad for the bride.
#31 A Haunting Ceremony
My grandpa was getting re-married, and for some reason insisted that the wedding be held in an ancient dilapidated hotel in Western Pennsylvania. He grew up near there, so I guess it had sentimental value or something. Well, this hotel happened to be adjacent to a creepy old amusement park, which was hosting a giant Halloween party the night of the wedding. The entire ceremony was marred by bloodcurdling screams and chainsaws, and moaning people spattered in fake blood were wandering outside the wedding hall the entire time.
#32 Dip and Strip
One of the groomsmen was dancing with the maid of honor and they did a dip maneuver. The problem with this being that the maid of honor’s dress was strapless, and her boobs had recently swelled up—she was pregnant—so that maneuver made them pop right out of the top of her dress in front of the whole dance floor.
#33 More Like “Best Man They Could Get”
Was a wedding DJ for 7 years. DJ’d several hundred weddings. Seen a lot of stuff. One horrible thing I’ve witnessed: I introduce the best man to give his speech and hand him the mic. He starts out by saying, “Well, there were a lot of things that I didn’t agree with in this relationship when it first started, and that I still don’t agree with because it’s seriously messed up and unbalanced and the dynamic is too one sided, etc. etc.” He wasn’t even done yet.
He’s staring at the bride while saying this, proceeds to trail off, and then continues “… but…that’s not why we’re here today. We’re here…….. to celebrate the marriage between Jack and Ingrid….so I just want to say congratulations, best of luck to you guys, etc. etc.” Everyone in the whole place was just looking around, glancing nervously at one another.
Afterwards, the father of the groom or bride (can’t remember which one) comes up to me and says, “Thank you for not cutting the mic. I saw you looking at the head table and at us for direction and when you didn’t get it, you didn’t act. I appreciate that because I think it would have been even more awkward if he had just been cut off and didn’t get the chance to at least come back to congratulating them.” Most awkward compliment I’ve ever received.
#34 Stepping All Over Him
I saw one bride who had bullied her step-dad into paying for her lavishly expensive dream wedding, only to then ask her biological dad to walk her down the aisle instead of him. She had to bribe him till he’d agree to do it, while the step-dad had actually wanted to. When her step-dad finally put his foot down and refused to give her more than $15,000, she stole his credit card. In the end, the wedding was canceled because she couldn’t pay her bills—and the step-dad divorced her mom.
#35 Having a Cow Over Cutlery
I’m a caterer. One time, the mother of the bride found a single spot on a single knife on a single setting. She demanded that the entire $60,000 reception be free. Luckily, she was not the one writing the check, so she was shot down pretty quickly. Still, there was much rage.
#36 Is Now the Right Time?
I’ve only been to one wedding and it was dad’s cousin’s wedding. My dad’s uncle (the groom’s father) did a toast when the groom and bride were at the altar (is this normal? Everyone around me seemed confused), and he said, “I’m glad I made it out here today. I just want you guys to know that I have cancer and I’m going to die soon. Congrats to my son and his beautiful bride. Enjoy your time!” Everyone was in complete silence. It was the most awkward thing I’ve possibly ever witnessed.
#37 The Bottle Is My Baby
The groom ran full sprint around the wedding reception hall double-fisting bottles of beer. He slipped on the ground and dislocated both of his hips. His father popped them both back in while the groom screamed through tears—while still clutching the beers.
#38 Dropping Like Flies
I’ve shared this before, and in the end, it turned into a story to retell, but the pastor officiating my wedding had a heart attack, and my (now) wife and I caught him as he fell. We have video of my wife, in her wedding dress, consoling the pastor’s wife, who was in tears behind the podium. One of my groomsmen is an ER doc and handled the situation well, and the pastor finally came back around.
He was stubborn and insisted on finishing the ceremony (through the sound of sirens of the ambulance coming for him). Then my brother (best man) passed out minutes later. Apparently, he had put on the wrong collared shirt and it was too tight around the neck. At least the EMTs had something to do while the pastor finished up. My brother spun and handed the rings off to ER Doc groomsman as he fell, and my wife and I just busted up laughing at that point.
#39 Worst Man
I officiated at a wedding where the groom’s best man was a work associate. The best man thought it was a good idea to interrupt the proceedings to tell stories about how he thought the groom was really gay. I think he thought it would be hilarious, but no one thought it was funny—especially not the bride. When he was done, the bride’s dad stood up and said, “Patrick needs a new best man. Any takers?” Folks avoided the guy like the plague for the rest of the night.
#40 First Time for Everything
Went to a wedding where the first kiss as husband and wife was literally their first kiss. She went for the quick peck and he went for the “dog licking its bowl clean”-style kiss. She was not happy about it.
#41 Going to Excessive Lengths
At one wedding, the bride demanded that nobody cut their hair or gain any weight before the big day. All their hairstyles had to be the exact same length. She had to control every aspect of what they did. Eventually, the maid of honor had enough of her behavior and dropped out of the bridal party a few weeks before the event.
My time has come.
Good friends getting married; it was a medium-sized wedding (no more than 75 people, including the bridal party and groomsmen). It was a wedding and reception by a lake, and everyone knew the venue, so we dressed accordingly—shirts and comfortable trousers, sundresses and sandals, etc. Bride’s sister-in-law is dressed like she’s heading out for an evening of dinner and dancing. Sky-high heels, tight dress, rhinestones everywhere. She looks gorgeous! But it’s not comfortable. And we’re outside.
The ceremony is sweet… except for the words “bloody bugs… bloody pine needles, damn dirt…” that’s being picked up from the small (yet apparently mighty) microphone up front. Right after the ceremony, we walk over to the gazebo/picnic area where the reception will be, and the sister-in-law starts lobbing her high heels at her husband, screeching about what an awful day it is, gashes her husband’s eyebrow open.
While people are scrambling to get him napkins because facial wounds bleed and try to get him into a car to drive him the hospital for stitches, she decides to up the ante. She says, “I can’t take this anymore!” and throws herself off of the dock in a dramatic swan dive. There was just one little problem with it all.
The problem is, the lake at that point was only four feet deep, and marshy, so instead of a suicide, she just sort of… bobs along in the water because everyone’s more concerned with her husband’s eye/face. Sister-in-law’s father just turns towards the lake, tells her to get her ass out of there and cut the nonsense. They pile into two cars and drove off. It was surreal.
#43 Backhanded by the Holy Man
The bride was a former nun who left her order not long after taking her vows so she could marry a friend of my significant other’s family. During the wedding ceremony, the priest kept staring at her, shaking his head slightly and making facial expressions that displayed his disappointment in her decision. It became especially awkward during his homily when he said, “Keeping the vows we make—whether nuptial vows or religious—says much about our integrity and sincerity.”
#44 Tears of Joy?
My aunt was getting married to her second husband, and during the “speak now or forever hold your peace” bit, their baby started crying. The dude officiating it said, “If anyone older than six months has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace!” He got a laugh and the wedding carried on. They’re still together ten years later, so I guess whatever my baby cousin had to say was misinformed.
#45 Vape and Escape
Oh god. At my cousin’s wedding, her maid-of-honor was a complete and utter mess who said she wasn’t going to give a speech, then drank a bunch and insisted on it. She stood up and opened up her phone to the “notes” section and just started reading down this list of memories and then going off on tangents and then going back to the phone and saying “Whoops! lost my place. Where was I?”
Her stories were AWFUL. They were about how she loved my cousin so much and hated the guy she married and how she thought he’d ruin their friendship, but she learned to tolerate him. It went on and on until one of my aunts started clinking her fork against her glass to get her to shut up and everyone started doing it and the DJ had to come and turn off the microphone. So this girl sits down, crying, and opens her little purse and pulls out one of those GIANT vape pens and takes a big pull and then just chucks a massive cloud in the face of the groom. It was amazing.
#46 Any Friend of Yours Is a Friend of Mine…Or Not
I was paying for my stepdaughter’s wedding at a venue which holds 250 people max. I gave her a list of 20 people that I wanted to be invited since, you know, I was paying for everything. She told me that it was no problem and that she’d take care of it. So, I let these people know they’d be getting an invite and that they should save the date.
Saturday, I saw one of my friends on this list at the golf course and asked if he was coming. He told me that he wasn’t invited. He told me that he got an announcement in the mail, but not an invitation. He showed it to me and, sure enough, it was just an announcement—and my name was nowhere on it. It had her “real” dad’s name and her mom’s name, but not mine. This led to a pretty big fight with my GF, as I found out that NONE of my list of twenty “made the cut” for the final guest list because “250 people is very tight.” What a slap in the face, after all I’ve done for these people.
#47 Not Every Achievement Needs to Be Aired
The bride’s older brother gave a speech where he talked about how he changed her diaper when she was a baby. He then told the groom that because of this, he (the brother) “saw her first.” It was super gross and cringey.
#48 Unfortunate Timing
I was a banquet chef for about 5 years at a Country Club near Vancouver, where we had 4 reception rooms. Quite often we had more than one wedding on the same day, which could get interesting with parties running into each other. On New Year’s Eve (this was probably 2003-4?) we had two weddings, one upstairs and downstairs, so no worries normally.
I was working the upstairs wedding when the father of the bride had a heart attack during the reception and was rushed to the hospital. Obviously, it was quite somber, but the guests were still trying to celebrate the wedding, while the mother of the bride and a few family members were with the father. But it was about to get worse.
Unfortunately, the family found out the father passed away in the hospital and decided to announce it to everyone. Right as they told everyone (no joke, like 30 seconds later), the party downstairs were starting a countdown for a “Toronto New Year’s,” as many of the guests and family were apparently from there and celebrating it at 9pm for the time difference. So as everyone in the upstairs banquet room was in shock, they heard 100+ downstairs cheering and singing with joy. To say the least, one of the most awkward moments I’ve witnessed.
#49 Nice Try
At my uncle’s wedding, a friend of his got very tipsy. When the minister asked for any objections, the friend smiled and started to stand up. My mother immediately grabbed him by his hair and sat him back down by force.
#50 Marking Your New Territory
Didn’t witness the incident thankfully but got to see the awkwardness right after it happened. Groom gets completely tipsy before the wedding even starts, so after drinking for a few hours at the reception he can barely stand. He still goes up to his new father-in-law and says he wants to talk to him. Walks into the bathroom.
Father-in-law thinks that is odd but maybe the groom wants a few words with no one around. They walk into the bathroom and the groom proceeds to pee all over the wall and then walk out leaving his new father in law just standing there. The new father-in-law explained what happened to my date not long afterward. As far as I know, it was never spoken of again.
#51 They’ll Wait
A good friend of mine found out her friend was major bridezilla. Originally, she told my friend that she would arrange for her to get picked up at the airport and have a place for her to stay since it would cost her a lot of money to stay somewhere in NY. Two weeks before the wedding, she changed the date of the rehearsal and forced my friend to change her flight (costing her over $400).
When my friend landed in NY, she called the bride, who proceeded to tell her that she’s too busy and to figure things out for herself. My friend had to book a room at the last minute and call a cab to get there. The day before the wedding, the bridesmaids still didn’t have their dresses because the bride didn’t pick a dress for them until the day of the wedding….
The day of the wedding, the bride was running 3 HOURS late doing stupid stuff. Her friends and family reminded her of the guests waiting for her at the ceremony, but she just said “well, the wedding can’t start without me” and left her guests there waiting on a rooftop in NY for 3 hours (note, everyone is super dressed up, so not in comfortable attire to deal with the heat). After the wedding, I believe they stopped talking because my friend realized the bride was a spoiled monster.
#52 Purple Reign of Terror
I was definitely the bridezilla in my case. Our colors were purple and gold and, the day before the wedding, we get the deliveries to our venue and—brace yourselves—the napkins were the wrong shade of purple! I tore the delivery manager a new one, even though I knew it wasn’t his fault. Needless to say, this was not my proudest moment.
#53 All the Wrong Moves
The bride said she had a surprise for the groom, so she disappeared, groom got sat in the middle of the dance floor, and bride came back to do a seductive belly dance for him. In front of their whole families and friends. Neither of them is even remotely Middle Eastern. It was so, so bad.
I work wedding bars often in between library shifts, and I saw a wedding where the bride never turned up to the altar and texted the guy 15 minutes before saying, “Sorry but I’m not coming.” It was super depressing, they went ahead with the ‘party’ and the groom ended up leaving at around half 7, the rest of the guests at 10.
What had happened was the bride had spent all day with her parents the day before and they apparently hated her husband to be and had convinced her not to show up. Last thing I heard was she came to his door the next morning and apologized, they’re still together as far as I know… Man was that an awkward work night.
#55 The Groomsman and the Phantom Womb
Went as a date to a wedding of a family I didn’t know. The younger brother of the groom caused the ceremony to be 20 minutes late. They were running behind and getting no response from him, so they started the ceremony. He came in in the middle of their vows and announced “Sorry I’m late, but I just found out that me and his girlfriend are having a baby!”
No one said anything, and someone told him to sit down and be quiet. After the wedding ended, I asked my friend what that was about and she told me that the brother was a known attention-seeker and everyone was sick of his garbage. A few weeks later she gave me another update straight from the groom. There was no girlfriend, and no baby either. He’d made it up.
#56 Return This Wedding to Sender
My husband and I were invited to the wedding of a military buddy of his. We were running a little late but weren’t too worried. We got onto base and headed for the main chapel (there are three or four chapels on base). When we got to the main chapel, it was apparent that there was no wedding going on. Looked at the invitation again.
It just said, “Post chapel” and gave an address. So obviously, this wasn’t the post chapel that the bride had intended, and I whipped out my phone to look up the address. We drove to that part of the base and found the place. It was some sort of administration building, definitely not a chapel. We were confused, to say the least.
Nonetheless, we found a building with “Chaplain’s office” on the directory so we figured we’d been invited to some sort of civil ceremony. The building was locked. Now thoroughly confused and late at this point. As we were wondering what we should do, we see an older gentleman in a tuxedo wandering around. We had to find out what was up with him.
He’s pretty clearly in the same boat. Turns out he’s the groom’s father, and he doesn’t have any more idea what’s going on than we do. After a few more minutes, a soldier arrives. He’s the chaplain’s assistant and he’s looking for lost wedding guests (namely the groom’s father). Turns out the bride put down the wrong address and the wrong chapel name on the invitation.
By the time we got to the wedding (which they had delayed because the groom’s dad was missing), the bride was in tears. I felt so bad for her. They finally started the wedding, and the chaplain gave an awkward sermon about “being clothed in Jesus’ love” and lost his place several times. Finally, as the ceremony was over, and the guests began to applaud, a bat fell down out of the ceiling and died. Craziest wedding I’d ever been to.
A wedding invite from a friend of a friend said tattoos had to be covered, piercings taken out, minimum amount of a cash gift, and most annoying of all…she asked people to LOSE WEIGHT. This was two months before the wedding. You can bet I just tossed the thing out in trash when it came in the mail.
#58 Discounted Opinion
I was helping a friend plan her wedding. We literally had everything planned, had called in favors with friends to do everything at cost, and she had personally asked my mom to officiate. This was going to be gorgeous. She was in on the entire thing, as she should be.
Then, her in-laws got involved and she started saying yes to everything they were asking without telling me. They started asking me to get my friends to do it all for free or give them a bigger deal than just cost. When I pushed back on the price, suddenly I was making her wedding all about me and being made out to be a nutjob.
#59 You Should Have Gone First Class
When I was about thirteen I was flying with my folks to visit family in Hawaii. While we were waiting for our flight, I overheard a woman throwing a temper tantrum to the desk agent.
She kept going on and on about how she was the bride and how she needed to be upgraded to first class or it was going to ruin her honeymoon. Screaming, crying, like full on toddler style temper tantrum. It’s like, hun, the wedding is over. You don’t get to be Bridezilla after the wedding. If it was so important that you be in first class, you should have purchased a first-class ticket.
#60 Hit & Wed
My parents had a pretty disastrous wedding. I wasn’t there to witness it, but my parents and the guests tell the stories all the time. The wedding was in July, they were expecting a hot, sunny day but it ended up being a major downpour. My mother had a taxi scheduled to take her from her hotel to the church, due to the rain the taxi was super late.
As my mother was waiting, in her wedding dress, she gets hit by a car. She gets knocked to the ground, but it wasn’t hard enough to break any bones, so she just walks it off. Unfortunately, her dress picked up a lot of the mud from her fall and a big chunk of lace was torn. It turns out the car that hit her was actually the taxi that was supposed to pick her up. But oh, the day wasn’t done.
She finally makes it to the church, my father was in tears, on the verge of a nervous breakdown thinking that she wasn’t going to show. Again, because of the rain, about a third of the guests didn’t make it. The rest of the ceremony went ok—until the reception. At the reception, the hotel was understaffed due to the rain and the DJ couldn’t make it (again, due to the rain) so it consisted of guests sitting around in a silent room waiting for food.
A plus-one soon decides that she is literally dying of hunger, so she goes up and cuts a slice of the wedding cake for herself before my parents had taken pictures with the cake or sliced it. On the positive side, later on they discovered that a restaurant in the hotel had a jukebox, so the restaurant lets them move it into the banquet hall and they’re able to pop in some quarters to get music playing. It was a disaster at the time, but now they look back at it and laugh.
#61 Kiss and Break up
My husband and I were invited to his friend’s wedding last summer. They’ve known each other for a decade, went to college together and now work with each other. The wedding was lovely, and they had an open bar before dinner. During the reception, they were doing this game where everyone had to stop eating to watch each table answer trivia questions about the bride and groom or whatever.
Our table got it wrong, which meant spinning a wheel to get a punishment. Things like do a dance, etc. So, the wheel lands on “kiss.” The groom thinks he’s going to be funny and picks my husband, and after a lot of thought, another of their college friends. My husband hasn’t seen this dude in over ten years. They made brief eye contact and nodded at each other. The groom went pale.
Then BOOM, my husband and this other dude launch into each other’s arms and start kissing. Sloppy, noisy, face licking, grabbing, making out maybe 20 feet from the grandparents’ table. The other guy’s wife and I were cheering them on. The best man was collapsed laughing on the table. The groom could only watch in open-mouthed horror. The bride was furious. The pictures are amazing, though.
#62 Pretty People Need Not Apply
A bride told me she didn’t want me in her wedding because she thought I would look better than her on her wedding day. She only asked people that wouldn’t look better than her during the wedding.
#63 The Wedding Alley
They had practiced their opening dance, a tango, in a large room. The wedding venue was a long and narrow, small room. So, 1 step forward in tango style, 3 steps forward but trampling in place due to guests sitting in their way, 3 steps backward trampling in place again to take 2 steps back to reach the other side and start trampling in place again…
And right in the middle of all this, the kitchen starts bringing out food (they hadn’t served any food before, so this was after complaints from most guests about being hungry). So I have video and photos (I was photographer) of the couple trampling, with no guests at all watching them… Not even the bride’s mother…Who was destroying a pack of fries with her back turned to the couple’s opening dance.
#64 A Man on a Mission
I was working at a wedding when I was younger, running the bar at the reception. We were told that the reception would begin around 4pm. It was only about 3ish, and one of the male guests was already sitting there drinking. I asked if he was not joining the ceremony, to which he replied something along the lines of “I will when I have the courage.”
He downs his drink and leaves. Ten minutes later he comes back, looking extremely disappointed. He orders another drink. Less than 30 seconds later, another guy (who turned out to be the groom), walks in, punches him in the back of the head, and leaves. This dude just picked his drink up and sipped it further. I eventually found out what happened, and it was awful.
Turns out that this fellow had downed his drink, walked into the ceremony, publicly admitted to sleeping with the bride at her bachelorette party, and then ran back to the bar. He was never invited to the wedding, but had just shown up to inform the groom. He found out where the wedding was, suited up, and dropped the info on everyone mid-ceremony.
#65 The Bride Is Always Right
I went to a wedding with my boyfriend a few years ago. His friend was marrying a woman that no one liked. She was awful. During the ceremony we could all tell that the best man was uncomfortable. As soon as the ceremony ended, the best man burst into tears for about 10 minutes and had to excuse himself. You could tell he just realized that his best friend was gone forever.
We tried to cheer him up and reassure him that he and the groom would still be close, and that the bride wasn’t too bad. Everyone present knew it was a lie and we were all just so depressed. Later, the bride came and yelled at our entire group (all of her husband’s friends) because we weren’t dancing enough. We weren’t dancing because they had no DJ, just a short playlist with the couple’s favorite (not dance-y) songs being played on repeat. I think throughout the whole night we heard the playlist start and end about 5 times.
#66 Opposites Contract
Definitely my friends’ wedding last year. They had only known each other for 6 months or so before they got married. She was Mormon, he was Atheist. We all thought it was really weird. The parents of the bride and groom hated each other. Two moms got into a verbal argument, then it became physical. I don’t know who made the accusation, but one said they’re only getting married because she’s knocked up. Aaaaand she popped a baby out 6 months later, trying to pass it off as a preemie. Yea no.
#67 Not an Easy Mistake to Make
Was a bridesmaid in a wedding. At the reception, we couldn’t locate the groom for the first dance. We fanned out to search for him. I found him… in an intimate position… with his 2nd cousin. His excuse: he was tipsy and thought it was his new wife…even though she was in a bright red dress. The marriage didn’t last long.
#68 Three at the Altar Is a Crowd
The ceremony for my cousin’s (the groom) wedding had the most obnoxious priest. I think he was related to my cousin or a long time family friend. The whole ceremony became about him. Before every reading, he would explain what was about to be read for like 5 minutes, then after the reading, would explain it again for another couple minutes before explaining the next reading.
He gave terrible advice like “If you’re having problems, don’t talk to each other, talk to me. You have my number.” He mentioned multiple times how he had recently moved to Illinois (where the wedding was taking place). Even between the vows he had to throw his two cents in. After my cousin said, “I Do” he made some comment about “Oh, I thought you were going to do it with more gusto like when you’re cheering for the Bears. I DO!!!”
At the end, he just had to mention himself one more time: “And by the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, which I am now a resident of, I now pronounce you man and wife.” What could have been a 30-45-minute ceremony ended up taking 75-90 minutes.
#69 Gimme Gimme
At my best friend’s wedding, this one guest kept trying to steal or keep as much free stuff as possible—decorations, supplies from the table, you name it. Nobody cared since it was mostly just big empty boxes wrapped as decorations. In fact, he saved us from having to tear it all down after the ceremony.
#70 The Mother of All Grossness
The groom pretty much made out with his mother. Big, slobbery kisses on the lips. Then when he was dancing with the bride he spent the entire dance staring over her shoulder at his mother.
#71 It’s My Way or the Highway
I have a friend who took out a $7,500 loan for her wedding. Then she asked her fiancé to take out a $25,000 loan. (Forced him, really, by saying she’d leave him if he didn’t.) He had much better credit and he got the loan. Then she begged his parents to pay for their honeymoon. His parents were completely unaware that she had asked their son to take out a loan for the wedding.
They thought her parents were paying for a modest outside wedding at a local garden and she repeatedly lied to them until a few weeks before the wedding. She kept threatening to leave her fiancé if he didn’t do things the way she wanted them done. Anyway, his parents were so happy to pay for a cruise for their honeymoon. A really, really nice Alaskan cruise. Guess what?
Well, lo and behold, that wasn’t enough for this Bridezilla. She then lied to her own parents, saying that his parents were only giving them $250 for the honeymoon. Her parents were shocked by this as they were paying for the wedding and reception and thought the groom’s family would at least pay for some of the honeymoon.
They encouraged her to get a better job (she worked 20 hours a week as a receptionist at a nail salon) or to at least go full time at her current job and she flat out refused, saying that she had so much to do in planning for the wedding/honeymoon, etc. She was an absolute nightmare. They got divorced 14 months after the wedding.
#72 Nuts About Protocol
I was at one wedding where the menu for the reception was advertised as nut-free, coconut-free, and lactose-free, in order to accommodate a whole host of allergies among the guests and children. The chef for the buffet decided “Contract be damned!” and put walnuts in EVERYTHING. There were almonds in the salads, pecans in the desserts, walnuts in the chicken… Nuts everywhere!
It got awkward when the bride found out. See, the bride and all of her sisters have severe nut allergies. She ate Burger King at her wedding, and her sister—eight months pregnant—shot up her EpiPen and snuck out to go to the ER with anaphylaxis. The cringey, awkward thing was watching the groom try to soothe and cheer the bride.
It was very, very awkward: the bride was seething with just pure, totally unadulterated rage and the guests could only look on helplessly.The day was saved some two hours later when the bride and groom’s kids got silly and hyper, distracting the bride from her anger. It was really tense though, a lot of people left.
#73 Do Exactly as I Say
The woman who married my BIL. The highlight of her bridezilla moments (and there were many) was sending out a 4 page, front and back letter to all the members of the wedding party regarding what exactly was expected of them. This included exactly how much they were to spend on gifts for the couple (basically, “Oh, don’t go nuts, tee hee…But it had better NOT be too cheap!!”), expected dress code for everything from informal meet ups to decide wedding attire and favors to the stag/bachelorette parties, for her bridesmaids to lose weight, hair styles, cut and color had to be approved by her, and how they were to behave at all times.
This was to a group of punk rock, anti-establishment kids with tattoos, colored hair, and leather galore. This was not unknown to the bride, as she claimed to be part of that scene herself. She actually demoted the best man the night before the wedding and “moved up” another of the groomsmen because she felt the original best man (one of the groom’s oldest and best friends) wasn’t “pulling his weight” and doing things the way she wanted. This despite him honestly trying and being on his best behavior for everything, even though he had never been a fan of this girl. And that’s just the tip of the bridezilla iceberg. The marriage did not last.
#74 Best Man, Served Well-Done
It was only marginally bad and mostly funny, but, at some point during the ceremony, the best man took a step backward on the altar to allow the priest to walk past. Right into a candle that was behind him. Ended up setting his (light blue—yeah, this was the 90s) suit jacket on fire. It was quickly put out—happily with no injury to him other than a lost deposit on a tux and a charred shirt. Except he spent the rest of the day looking like he’d taken a mortar round directly between the shoulder blades. Much hilarity.
#75 We Interrupt This Program…
One of my friends interrupted his cousin’s wedding to publicly come out of the closet. He assumed that this would be an opportune time since everyone was gathered together and in a good mood. He couldn’t understand why his cousin was so pissed at him.
#76 A Little Too Much Fun
The groom’s sister got sorority girl wasted in the limo on the way to the reception. She stashed a brown paper-bag with two-fifths of Pucker under her chair for the Lord’s prayer. She held my hand the entire time chanting “I need to pee.” She drank heavily all through the meal and then caught the bouquet. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.
The guy that caught the garter had his head shoved up her dress while he was putting it on her. Once he finally emerged from her cavern of tipsy doom, he was bright red and ran away. She chased him around and literally flung herself at him to dance, aka grope, him in front of everyone. She got bored with that and started dancing on the DJs table.
The Bride was mortified and in all but tears, so her brother picked up this tipsy mess and tried to carry her outside. This sent the redneck boyfriend into a rage and he picked a fight with the brother. The cops were called. I just sat there wishing I had popcorn to watch the mess.
#78 Read the Room, Newlyweds
I was at a dry wedding where the main theme was “books.” You were assigned to read a book prior to the wedding and were sat with people who read that same book to create conversation. Interesting idea, but a majority of people aren’t going to do it. People were also purposely not put with people they knew, in an attempt to make people socialize with others. Basically, all we did is make a few sentences about how we didn’t read the book and left after a being served an inedible dinner and headed to a bar.
#79 That’s the Wrong Tie
The Bride slapped her husband and left him at the altar because he was wearing a red tie instead of a bright pink flowery one that she wanted all the men to wear to fit in with her “pink princess wedding.” She told him in a text that he had “ruined her special day.” Only her nephew was actually wearing the tie, and he was one years old.
#80 I Was Just in the Neighborhood…
My aunt’s second wedding. She married the guy who lived two houses down from her. That’s not the issue, the worst part was the toast at the reception. Another neighbor got up, “I want everyone to raise their glasses. 15 years ago, we all moved into this neighborhood married to the wrong people; by the end of the summer we will all be married to the right people.” Came to find out 8 couples had gotten divorced and remarried within the neighborhood, or as I call it: played musical spouses. We left very quickly.
#81 They’re All Gone
A Bride yelled at me because I wasn’t inside the church at exactly 7:00 to do her makeup (I got lost getting to the church in the middle of nowhere with no GPS signal), but I was in the parking lot getting my kit out at 7:00. She called and gave me an earful. Then while I was doing her makeup, she kept getting up to yell at her mom and sister about the groomsmen not having their shirts tucked in a whole hour before the ceremony.
She told her mom she could leave if she didn’t want to listen to her yell, told her sister to go home since she “obviously” was jealous that she’s getting married. Everyone left me and her alone in the suite after that. No one answered her calls or texts, no one came back to dress her, no one wanted to be around her. I felt bad for her, so I helped her get her dress and shoes and veil on and walked her outside to the entrance of the church and promptly split.
#82 What Could Have Been
My brother went to high school and college with this girl that he always thought of as a friend. Her grandparents lived next door to ours. I was friends with her little sister. Our parents were friends…. anyway, she gets engaged and starts planning her wedding. We were invited, of course. A couple of days before the wedding she comes over to our parents’ house because my brother was in town for her wedding and tells him that she will leave her fiancé for him.
Like, declares this in front of my family. He, of course, was all “What the actual heck?” They’d never dated. They’d never kissed. He was never interested in her. She was crying super hard and declaring her love for him and it was weird. She bawled like a baby to the point where she could barely get through her vows…we knew why. Fast forward like 15 years and she’s still married to the guy. They look happy.
#83 Fair Is Fowl
Ugh. I had friends get married in a “forest.” It was a stretch of meager woods between two cornfields. Mosquitoes galore. We had to sit on logs that were covered in damp moss, the mud was ankle deep in places, and the ceremony was inaudible due to a tractor plowing the field. They served food out of a “charming old cottage” that was actually a rotting former chicken coop that the groom literally dragged in from elsewhere. The entire event was a nightmare.
#84 An Endable Offence
The bride at a family wedding tried to end me because I wore a funky suit and tie. If I remember correctly, it was a grey/forest green striped suit. She claimed it didn’t go according to dress code. I do not remember a dress code being addressed. She grabbed her soon-to-be husband’s handgun from his glovebox and fired 4 shots at me.
She was arrested because a bullet grazed my arm, and the wedding never happened because husband realized Bride was absolutely crazy. He bought me a new purple suit afterwards and we became best buds. Miss Crazy is still in prison after she attempted to start my apartment ablaze. I now have restraining order and such, but all I can do is laugh at the situation.
#85 Shot on Location
At one wedding I attended there was a ceremonial “gifting” of a shotgun to the married couple from the family of the groom. Came out of nowhere and the entire room was sat in stunned silence until the most awkward “are we supposed to clap” applause nervously quivered into existence. But that’s not even the scariest part.
What’s scary is that both the bride and groom are extremely heavy drinkers, borderline alcoholics, and the groom in particular gets very aggressive when tipsy. I can’t think of a worse couple to give a firearm to. To their credit, the wedding was gorgeous apart from that. Great food and drink, stunning location, and cocktails.
#86 Cough Drops
My middle brother has a very odd sense of humor that occasionally causes issues. One of those issues is that he likes to whip his private parts out at random times and see how long it takes people to notice. The night before the wedding we were going to, he told me that at some point during the ceremony he was going to cough loudly, which would mean his you-know-what was out.
I laughed it off and didn’t think he could possibly be serious. Our officiant got to the “speak now or forever hold your peace” bit, and I heard a cough from where my brother was sitting. Both my husband and I whipped our heads around in disbelief, but the audience just thought we were daring any of them to say something, so they all laughed. Little did they know what was actually going down in the crowd…
#87 You’re Ruining My Shot
As the chef at a wedding venue for 4+ years, I saw every kind of bride there was and 99% are truly delightful people. That being said, none of us will ever forget one who still gets brought up as the ultimate bridezilla any of us had seen. She was a major type A+ from the start and asked us to measure straws to make sure that they fit in the water/soda glasses the way she wanted.
The worst thing about that whole wedding was that there was ZERO joy or fun when the wedding day finally arrived because it was all so choreographed. Her husband-to-be (who had threatened to not show up on the wedding day because of all of her crazy leading up to it) was instructed BY HER to buy and gift to her a specific strand of pearls.
The plan was that she would then open the gift in front of the photographer, while crying reading the accompanying letter. According to the photographer, she didn’t actually cry, so she just dabbed at her eyes, pretending to be overwhelmed with emotion at the “thoughtful” gift. She then proceeded to tell her mom she was a bad person because she was standing in the way of a photo. The girl was just in it for the image of a beautiful, happy day, and didn’t care who she had to stomp on to make it happen.
#88 Baked Out
The groom was a pastry chef by trade. As you can imagine, he went full-bore on his own wedding cake. This thing was a masterpiece. Astoundingly beautiful and intricate, and unlike anything you’ve ever seen. And the couple’s friends are also about 50% pastry chefs. Lots of professional bakers in the place. All of whom were dying to see this piece of culinary art.
The caterer’s assistant dropped the cake in the kitchen before it ever saw the light of day. The only people who saw the cake in its full glory were me, the groom, the best man, the caterer, and the groom’s baking staff. I was watching when it was dropped, and the person who dropped it said, “Well, we’ll just serve the sheet cake.” There was no sheet cake. They scooped up most of it and served it with a giant spoon.
#89 Stuck in a Rut (and a Marriage)
I was a banquet manager at a hotel for years and have worked hundreds of weddings. Worst one by far: The bride was AT LEAST 20 years younger than the groom, almost definitely an arranged marriage. Only about 20 people were invited to the reception, and the only decoration was a bad quality massive blown up picture of the bride and groom in the shape of a heart.
When the bride and groom walked into the room, someone put the Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling” on the CD player. Then the song played again, and again, and again for three hours straight. The only time it stopped was when the CD ended because apparently, no one learned how to use the repeat feature, so they just burned a CD with the same song on it 20 times. When it did stop though, someone just got up and restarted it. Also, no booze.
#90 Beware the Deserts
My mom used to work at a catering company. The company would make an announcement about what food would have nuts in them and other things. Well apparently this one time after they announced the food, one lady walked right up, ate like a peanut butter cookie, and went into Anaphylaxis. So they called an ambulance and she died on the way to the hospital. Apparently she knew full well what was in it.
#91 The Mine Phase
My brother’s brother-in-law was getting married. He had a daughter from a previous relationship who was 10 or 11 at the time of the wedding, and also had a second child who was 2 years old with this fiancée. The new wife wouldn’t allow the older daughter to be at the wedding because, “She’s not mine and I don’t want her distracting people.”
#92 Loose Lips of the Ma
When my sister-in-law and her husband were getting married, my (future) wife and I had just learned 5 days before that she was pregnant. But we had decided not to tell anybody, partly because of the three-month rule and partly because of the wedding. My mother-in-law was driving me and my wife to the wedding, so we were at her house on the morning of the ceremony.
My wife feels sick, so she goes to puke, and my MIL asks if she is pregnant. She doesn’t want to lie so she says yes but makes it very clear to my MIL that she shouldn’t go around telling anyone, especially at the wedding. When we get to the party after the ceremony, the mother decides to make a toast, and about how she is happy because she will have not 1 but 2 grandchildren soon (my SIL who is getting married is pregnant at the wedding).
So now everyone is looking at my wife and her other sister in a questioning way, my other SIL is baffled and asks my MIL how she knows about the pregnancy, turns out she was pregnant too. It all went downhill from there, and the bride and both her sisters were majorly mad at their mom.I retreated to the minibar and got tipsy with my future-father-in law.
#93 Nothing’s More Important Than Me
I had a bride walk into the bridal salon where I worked to pick up her wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, etc. She was in a bad mood and proceeded to tell me and my co-workers why. “I am SO ticked off one of my bridesmaids won’t be able to attend my wedding” (it was the day before her wedding). All of us answered “why?!” Super concerned. She said, “her brother got in a car accident or something and ended up hurting someone.” She then proceeded to roll her eyes and said, “I can’t believe she would drop out of my wedding for that!” All of our mouths were on the floor.
#94 Family Business
I worked at a mob wedding. I was in the band. The bride and groom looked like they were gonna end each other when they were feeding each other the cake. Men on either side jumped up from their seats to settle everyone down and pull them apart after they SHOVED the cake into each others’ faces. Then the “grandpa” sat in a chair and basically a receiving line formed for him. A limo pulled up outside and he left. All the guests cleared out once he left. Nobody gave a darn the reception was still going.
#95 Grow Them in This Color!
My friend is a florist and bridezilla came to her for wedding flowers. She wanted her bouquet and the table arrangements to be a certain color and a certain flower. When my florist friend (FF) informed her that that particular flower does not grow in that color, the bride replied that there was plenty of time before the wedding to grow the flowers in that color.
FF said if she wanted that color, it would have to be a different flower. (I believe dyeing was not an option because of the kind of flower, but I’m not sure). After much explanation, FF finally convinced the bride that if she wanted that color, there was a much better flower available. The order was signed and paid for.
The day of the wedding, FF and her assistants bring the flowers to the wedding/reception venue, set up the floral centerpieces on the tables, get everything approved by the groom, wedding planner, and manager of the wedding venue. About an hour later, the bride called FF screaming that the flowers are not the ones she wanted and to come back and fix them. FF checked the order to make sure and it was correct. FF drove back to the venue and saw flowers strewn all over the parking lot. They were the flowers that the bride had agreed to. FF turned her car around and went back to her shop and ignored the bride’s calls.
For years, the groom and his best man were super close. They had always roomed together, and there was a running joke that they were really more than friends. Eventually, the groom met the bride, fell in love, and proposed. The new running joke became that the best man must be very disappointed. At the wedding, the officiant asks if anyone has objections. The best man immediately objects. We soon found out what was really going on.
Turns out it was planned as a joke—the bride thought it would be a funny way to acknowledge the super-close friendship between the groom and his best man. Thankfully, the groom and the audience had a sense of humor, and no problems came out of this.
#97 Why Are These People Here?
I saw a woman in a wedding dress screaming about all these crazy freaks being at her wedding. She had scheduled her wedding at the same hotel as Acen that year, which is one of the largest anime conventions in the country. She was not happy and seemed to think that the hotel was hers and her guests’ for the weekend.
#98 I Do, I Guess
Probably my cousin’s wedding. It was nice, there was nothing wrong with the wedding itself. But a lot of people were/are very confused by the couple’s relationship. It doesn’t seem like they are in love, they could’ve be two strangers on the bus, that’s how much chemistry they have. It just didn’t seem like they were right for each other and just got married because they felt like it was the next step.
I talked to my sister about it the other day and turns out that a few months after they got married. my cousin asked our aunt (her mother) how she could get an annulment… but then a week later she found out she was pregnant. They’re still together today—she’s due this winter. No one knows she talked to her mom about it except me, my mom, and my sister. I don’t even think her husband knows.
#99 Pitching a Fit
Hub’s cousin. Her dress cost more than our wedding. Her wedding, all told, could have bought a respectable home for the young couple. The honeymoon could have bought a nice new car. If you’ve got the money for a wedding like that, great, but she didn’t. She just pitched tantrums until her parents and her fiancé went into MASSIVE debt for it.
But the moment that really sealed it for me was when she barred certain family members from being in her family wedding photo because they weren’t dressed fancy enough or because they hadn’t brought a gift to the wedding. There was both an engagement party AND a wedding shower, and apparently we were supposed to bring gifts to each.
#100 Attendance Is Optional
I was a DJ for about 10 years and I have seen a lot of bad things. At one wedding, I was supposed to introduce the wedding party. The bus showed up around 5:00, and out of 18 people in the wedding party, only 3 made it off. The bride, the best-man, and a bridesmaid. The rest were so hammered tipsy that they didn’t stumble inside until almost 9:30. They missed everything. We couldn’t have toasts, first dances, cake cutting, nothing, because the groom was passed out. By the time they did make it inside, almost everyone left. The bride was pretty mad about the entire situation. Who could blame her?
Another wedding I attended seemed like it was going great. Everything went without a hitch until the reception ended. The bride came up and told me that she found out the groom cheated on her the night before. She never signed the marriage license and they just went through with it since everyone was there. What made this entire thing worse was they didn’t return any of the gifts and then they split up the next morning.
#101 Private View
I used to work at a very pricy wedding venue in Massachusetts. It was right on the ocean and had beautiful views. The bride insisted that during the ceremony she and her future husband must be the only two that can see the water because it was her special day.
#102 Is This Game of Thrones?
A sibling’s wedding. It was a shotgun wedding, with the bride looking like a very-pregnant satin sausage, the groom tipsy off his butt (despite not being legally old enough to drink), the ceremony being performed by someone from the motorcycle gang the bride’s dad belonged to, while the groom’s mother and step-mother (who previously had restraining orders against one other) took a time out from their on-going feud to share shots out of the same flask, at a VFW hall off a major highway.
#103 Burning It up
My cousin got married last April and I only went because my parents were going, and I had nothing better to do that weekend (also, free bar). I got to watch her set her bouquet, the white carpet, and the groom’s pants on fire mid-ceremony because he had spiked his hair wrong. The best part was that the minister just kept reading the vows as it all went down. Eventually they got it all under control and the two said their I Dos. The divorce finalized a couple days ago.
#104 Getting a Second Opinion
The groom’s dad interrupted the wedding to ask the bride’s father to confirm whether or not she was truly a virgin. I couldn’t believe my ears! Truly a weird and embarrassing moment to witness.
#105 Band-Aid Those Boobs
I was in a wedding and doing hair/makeup for the gals. I was doing a run through with one of the girls, and the bride came in to “inspect” our progress. The bridesmaid looked great and none of the other people in the room had anything bad to say. The bride looked over the girl, pointed at her cleavage and said: “Can we do anything about THAT?”
I was confused at first, but then she started jumping up and down screaming about how her wedding was ruined because of boobs. No one could control this. She demanded that I put Band-Aids on the girl’s boobs to hide “it,” claiming it wasn’t Christian for her to have ANY cleavage in her wedding. I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t oblige and was met with yet another fit of rage.
I pulled my tank top down and flashed her, saying that what I had was as nice as the other bridesmaid and told her to shut up and deal. (I was doing makeup and hair as a courtesy because she couldn’t afford what I would normally charge). Her mom told her to shut up and she stormed off to her room. We all had a good laugh and went for pizza. I still did the wedding, and the boobs looked good when the bridesmaids were standing at the altar.
#106 Wedding Bells and Bad Attitudes
My cousin, who is in her mid-40s and married with two kids, got absolutely plastered at my wedding. Her husband couldn’t make it, so she came down with her two kids (kids did not attend wedding as it was adults only). My dad, who was my best man, was so embarrassed by her behavior that he had to leave in the middle of the reception to take her back to the hotel.
After the reception, a bunch of my relatives all went back to the hotel and found my cousin’s two kids alone in the hotel room (they were like 12 and 9 years old and they were fine), but my cousin was nowhere to be found. My 86-year-old grandmother went down to the hotel bar and saw her basically making out with some random dude.
Grandma told her it was time to go to bed and cousin refused, so Grandma said it again and my cousin got up, shoved my grandma to the ground and started screaming for security to come arrest my grandma for god knows what. Somehow, they ended up getting her to bed and nobody was hurt or arrested. But it still had lasting consequences.
This was over 5 years ago, and I haven’t talked to my cousin since. I never saw her crazy tipsy antics, but I am angry that she embarrassed my dad and made him miss over an hour of the reception (and pushing grandma is never cool). And the thing is, this type of behavior came out of nowhere (at least to us), so it’s not like we had expected or anticipated this particular cousin just going wild at a nice formal event. Just disappointing all around.
#107 Don’t Play That Funky Music
I play in a wedding band in Utah. The biggest bridezilla moment for me was when we got the request at the beginning of the party to NOT play any music by James Brown. We played a funk set that transitioned from one song to the next, but the last song of the set was “Cold Sweat.” Our bass player/leader forgot to tell a few members of the band that we were cutting “Cold Sweat.”
We couldn’t have known how huge of a mistake that was. Almost as soon as the band played the song, the majority of the wedding party starts booing the band, and the bride rushes up to us and starts screaming until she is red in the face. No explanation was given as to why she didn’t want James Brown played, but it was odd to say the least.
#108 Wish I Were You, Kiddo
Wedding photographer here. Easily the worst was when the father of the groom, apparently entirely sober, gave a ten-minute toast that devolved into openly complaining that his son got to hook up with the bride and he didn’t. And this wasn’t a mistimed joke about how pretty she was, this was a full-on lament about growing old and how women didn’t find him attractive anymore and that all he wanted was to take his daughter-in-law to bed.
I got a few photos of the bride and groom reacting in horror to this and then I went and hid with the catering staff in the kitchen, who were peeking out the door to observe the carnage.
#109 Headfirst Into Love
Groomsman had a little too much vodka and decided to propel himself through a tempered glass door head-first. Turns out tempered glass is really hard to break. His limp body proceeded to slide down a flight of cement stairs. As I was calling the ambulance a bridesmaid was screaming in my face about how I was “going to ruin the wedding” and how he would be “just fine”—as he twitched and drooled in my lap, completely sauced, concussed, and a good ounce stupider than he was five minutes before. We all went out for drinks after they carted him off, but the girl wouldn’t let it go.
#110 Clearing the House
I sometimes work for a wedding planner as a waiter on the day of the event. There was one wedding that was humming along right on schedule. Then, about 45 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin, a bridesmaid grabbed me in a panic and told me that the bride forgot her shoes. She told me that the bride absolutely needed her shoes.
I asked where they were and she told me they were about an hour away. The wedding planner talked to the bride and told her that no one would notice if she didn’t wear her shoes. The bride pitched a fit and made an uncle drive and get them. It took him about 2.5 hours to get them. The whole time, we were trying to convince the bride to start the ceremony and she refused.
The worst part was that her family came from another country and didn’t really speak English, so they had no idea what was going on at first. They got super restless and some people even left. We even told the bride that people were leaving. She didn’t care, she just wanted her shoes. Everything was delayed by about an hour and half. People were pissed. By the time the reception rolled around, about 50% of the people left the venue.
#111 Substitute Soulmate
We showed up to a wedding where the bride was not the girl everyone was expecting. Turns out the couple had called it quits like two weeks before, but the groom was so cheap he did not want to lose all the money invested in the wedding reception, so he decided to ask one of his ex-girlfriends to marry him. The girl accepted—it was very awkward because everyone at the wedding was talking about it.
#112 Having a Blast
My wife dragged me to a wedding that I did not want to go to—but I’m forever grateful that she did, because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. The bride’s secret lover objected in the middle of the ceremony: “I’ll be darned if I’m gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of crap!” he yelled out.
This deranged old redneck then proceeded to come at the groom with a loaded pistol, threatening to shoot him if he doesn’t give her up. Every single person in attendance started screaming and running away. The police were called. I grabbed my wife’s hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
When my dad got remarried, it was the worst event I’d ever been to. It started four hours late because the bride decided that she just had to have Olive Garden before the ceremony started, so she loaded up all these half-made-up bridesmaids into a couple cars and drove to Olive Garden, where we waited for like two hours for enough space for all of us.
We finally got back to the church and finished with the makeup. None of the bridesmaids had matching dresses because the bride decided on a dress like a week before the wedding, so she said for everyone to pick the closest thing they could find at the bridal shop. And the makeup guy was a friend of hers who claimed to be a runway makeup artist, but we all ended up looking cheap and 80s.
So their ceremony finally starts four hours late with a bunch of mismatched bridesmaids in horrible make up and giant hair, and two of the bride’s friends just decided to stand up next to the bridesmaids like they were part of the ceremony too, for some reason. At the reception, there was a guy with a guitar paid to sing and play, but one of those two friends decided she was going to be the main entertainment for the evening. She grabbed the guy’s mic and started singing in the most awful tone-deaf screechy voice I’ve ever heard. Finally it was all over and we could leave, and I went to my car in the parking lot… and someone had slashed my tires. All four of them.
#114 It’s a Dancefloor, not the Thunderdome
My cousin’s wedding. I was about 7 or 8 years old and vaguely remembered my grandmother grabbing my brother and I and leaving. I remember being mad cause I didn’t get any cake, didn’t get to dance, nothing. When I got married this year and was worried that my wedding was going to be a trash show, I was finally given the details as to why Gram made us leave so early.
My cousin was not in contact at the time with her birth father. He showed up at the reception anyway. Everyone more or less tolerated him for the time, as no one wanted to be the one to ruin my cousin’s wedding. At some point, he made a pass at my mom and said pretty nasty comments to a 14-year-old girl that was there.
My mom let the comments he made to her go, but the father of the 14-year-old girl did not. He punched him in the face. When he got punched, he fell backward onto another lady, whose husband, in turn, jumped on him. It turned into an eight-person brawl including my dad and one of my cousins. No idea how my dad or cousin got involved, but alcohol was a factor.
So where was my cousin—the bride—when all this was going down? She was in a truck with her new husband, engaging in some illicit substances. Twelve people, including my dad, one male cousin, the bride, and her new husband all got arrested at her wedding. She and her husband were caught in the truck when the cops showed up for the fight. I have a pretty trashy extended family.
#115 This Is a Classy Affair
It was my then-business partner’s second marriage, to a prominent lawyer. She was 40-ish but behaved like a Cosmo-swilling sorority sister and was obsessed with optics, image, status. The wedding was a twi-nighter at a banquet / event center in the city. When my wife and I showed up we discovered the guests had been partitioned into an A-list and a B-list.
We were on the shorter A-list who were invited for cocktails, the ceremony, and a sit-down dinner. The B-listers had been told to appear 2.5 hours later for cake and dancing. During dinner, the already-half-in-the-bag bride stood up and told us A-listers we were her “real friends,” the “cream of the crop,” and our standing with her was reflected in the fine catered dinner we were eating.
Things ran long and the B-listers began assembling outside. They were not allowed in, but the place had storefront-type windows and you could see what was going on in there from the street. We were having creme brulees. It began to rain and the B-listers had to stand outside getting wet and staring at us while the banquet part of the evening wrapped up. They clearly had not been apprised of the two-tier deal.
The favored A-listers were in acute discomfort. A gang of the bride’s alleged best friends, similar sorority types in little black dresses, talked major snark about her for the rest of the evening, mocking her dress, her weight, her choice of husband, and especially the uncool structure of the event. Finally the door was thrown open and angry damp B-listers straggled in bearing rain-washed gifts.
The groom was nowhere in sight and the by-now-tipsy bride was doing the electric slide by herself on the dance floor. The room was thick with tension and weirdness and my wife and I slipped out before the cake-cutting. (Later I would tell the bride how nice the cake-cutting, etc. had been and she said she had seen me and all the A-listers front and center.)
The marriage lasted about three years. Four months in, the bride made a serious pass at me in the office. Shortly thereafter the hook up was over, and she was sleeping on the sofa (she said). The whole wedding / marriage seemed to be merely a hook for a big party and a pretext for classifying her friends into first class and economy.
#116 I’m Taking This, OK?
When my old babysitter was prepping for her wedding, she hired someone to decorate and design her wedding. That person got one tiny detail wrong and was fired on the spot. This meant that the babysitter took over and went completely nuclear on everyone.
I came home from school one day to find out that she’d stormed over to our place, asked to borrow the canopy that hung over my bed, and without getting a yes, dismantled it and took it to the venue. I never saw it again. Last I heard, she ripped it when she was taking the decorations down because she had stapled the mesh into the wood paneling.
#117 What’s Good for the Goose Is Bad for the Gander
A tipsy groomzilla screamed at me and pointed in my face while his poor bride cowered behind him. Why? Because the venue ran out of Grey Goose vodka at 11:45 PM. The wedding ended at midnight. I filled up an empty bottle with water are served it to him and his annoying friends. They were satisfied.
#118 A Mortifying Plot Twist to a Job Well Done
When I was in college studying photography, I got friendly with a fellow student who had a wedding photography business but was studying to get his qualifications, etc. After seeing my work, he asks me if I want to assist him on his next wedding, I agree. The big day comes and I’m all prepared to go in see the groom and the best man, ushers, etc. and get some pre-match photos of them getting ready and what not, but the groom refuses to be in any pics, stating he was feeling under the weather.
I kinda thought he should suck it up, as it’s his wedding day, but he was insistent. The ceremony comes and goes, time for the bridal party photos at the church. Again, the groom refuses pics, much to everyone’s annoyance. Get to reception, speeches begin, and midway through the father of the bride speech, the groom just straight up leaves, saying once again he was feeling a bit ill.
This is where the bride drew the line and went into a rage and started pulling the small groom and bride figures off the top of the cake and stomping on it, yelling “I shouldn’t have married him!” Lots of hullabaloo and guests trying to console her. Everyone agreed he was being dramatic and basically a jerk. We got paid in full even though at that point we were done. But so much more was about to happen.
I go home, feet up few beers… phone goes off, it’s my friend Craig the photographer. The groom passed away shortly after leaving the reception hall. We do 2-for-1 wedding and funeral service now.
#119 Blast That Past
Ex-girlfriend of the groom showed up at the wedding…uninvited and tipsy. He broke up with her 10 years earlier and has not seen her in over 8 years. She was loud and saying very graphic things about what she wanted to do to the groom. The bride steps up, goes all out and punches the ex in the face…knocks the ex out cold. The bride we know is a normally calm and peaceful person. A few of us carry the ex out of the reception and drop her at her apartment about 20 min away. Bride told my wife that “there is nothing that will ruin my wedding day.”
#120 Ladies of Honor
Wedding 1: When the ex gf of the groom showed up during the ceremony and, when asked to leave, turned to run and sprained her ankle and needed to be carried out by the best man.
Wedding 2—The Matron of Honor was asked not to drink at the reception, so obviously she chose to get rip roaring tipsy, grinding on the buffet table, having hook up with one of the groomsmen in the washroom, and eventually had to be told to leave by the Mother of the Bride. But at this point her husband, sick of her behavior, had already left, so she just hung out outside the hall until everyone left.
#121 Not Everyone Wants an Encore
After the vows and the kiss, as the couple was walking together down the aisle, the mother of the bride stopped the recessional and announced that she and her husband were renewing their vows right then and there. The husband was mortified but went along with it. After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn’t want all of that to “go to waste.”
Once they had renewed their vows, the bride’s mother invited everyone to the “joint reception.” Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the bride’s parents would be exchanging vows.
Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the tipsy and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother’s “special day,” called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left. The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.
#122 Missed Encounters
At a wedding of a college friend of my husband’s, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there—and extremely worried.
My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the “introducing Mr & Mrs” thing—ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed—lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him.
She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly—her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “Well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed—he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.
#123 That’s What I Call a Death Drop
The bride’s aunt died on the dance floor while dancing. She fell down, and the DJ stopped the music until EMS arrived. They took her away, and when the music resumed, the DJ selected Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” as the next song. I still remember the looks people were giving him.
#124 Sensitivity Problems
I’m a wedding planner. We had an unexpected death in the family. Our 6-month-old nephew had passed away in his sleep. I knew the funeral was going to be the day of my client’s upcoming wedding, so I gave her a call to explain the situation. She’s clearly not paying attention to the call or the words I’m speaking, because I can hear her laughing with friends in the background. I get irritated and tell her I’ll call her back later.
I call back that night and again tell her what has happened and that I’d be sending an assistant to cover for me so I can attend the funeral. She tells me that I need to send my assistant to the funeral and that I had better be at the wedding. It took me a few seconds, but I calmly stated that I’d be sending her money back and that no one would be covering for me. That was the nicest way I’ve ever told someone to screw off.
#125 Well of Course They’re Hideous
The bride asked me what color her bridesmaids should wear (I was one). I told her that given all five of us were redheads, a pale, pastel lilac is the only color that should be avoided, as it makes us look dead. Guess what dresses she picked? Floor length silk, pastel lilac. I assumed she’d forgot. Her sweet husband later told me, completely nonplussed, that of course the bride has to put bridesmaids in awful dresses because she had to be the prettiest on the day.
#126 You Should Be Happy for Me
The bride spent weeks crying to my sister and I that “No one is happy enough that we’re getting married!” She literally wanted us to call her once a week and tell her how happy we were that she was getting hitched, and how lucky we felt to be in her wedding party. When we went bridesmaid dress shopping, she broke down crying when we chose the less expensive dress. But that wasn’t the worst part.
She also accused us all of trying to ruin her big day by making ourselves uglier. Yes, uglier. The next day, she called me to tell me I was out of the wedding party because I just wasn’t the kind of person she wanted in her wedding. You know, after we bought the dresses. She then invited other people to take my and my sister’s place in her wedding party, with the expectation that she’d be able to give them the dresses we’d paid for. She called, screaming that I had ruined EVERYTHING because when she went to pick up her bridesmaids dresses she was two short. I had called and cancelled the order and gotten a refund.
#127 Change of Heart
Amazingly, I was at a wedding where the groom himself objected. He just stood up there and started crying, then announced in front of everyone that he had fallen out of love with the bride a while before but didn’t know how to break it off. It was extremely uncomfortable, and they both stepped out. Ten minutes later, they came back in and got married—because she’d apparently told him she was pregnant. They’re still together, with three kids now. I’m not sure about the husband, but I can confirm that the wife is having an affair. Neither of them are happy, but she has a comfortable life and he doesn’t have the spine to leave.
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