Regretful People Share Their ‘It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time’ Story

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A lot of decisions can seem like good ideas before you think them through. That’s why thinking them through is so essential. Failure to do so, regardless of if it’s for a short or long-term decision, can cause things to end pretty badly. Only those that are lucky end up walking away unscathed and saved from some mild to moderate embarrassment.

The bright side is, many of the terrible ideas these internet users have gone through at least have left behind a hilarious story to tell. Whether it’s a tale of a backflip gone wrong, a hitchhiker who wouldn’t get out of the car or making the mistake of swallowing hot wax to try to cure a sore throat, these stories are bound to have you thanking your lucky stars it was them and not you.

| Humaverse

#1 Everything Is Always Better With Fire

Back in the day, my brothers and I were shooting a bow and arrow behind our house. We had a proper backstop and a nice target on a bale of hay. After about an hour, we were getting bored and one of my brothers had a stroke of genius. “Let’s freaking light one on fire,” he suggested. So there we were wiring rags to arrows, soaking them in gas. It didn’t take long for half the yard to catch on fire.

We’d shot pretty much every flammable thing we could burn in the yard. Since we were running short on stuff to shoot, my brother decided to launch one in a 45° arc over the woods behind the house. We all watched it soar, laughing and giggling. When it hit the apex, it dawned on us that this was, in fact, a really stupid freaking idea. All six of us sprinted off into the woods in the direction it’d been shot. It wasn’t hard to find since it lit an entire little meadow on fire. We ran around stomping out fires for an hour. When we finally got the fire put out, we were sitting by the creek and my oldest brother looked at us, saying, “Dad never hears a word about this.”

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#2 The Other Option When Crossing The Street Besides Looking Both Ways

I ran across the street with my eyes closed. I was 14 years old. I didn’t get hit by a car, however, I ran into a tree headfirst and cut my face and knee open. I have no idea what I was thinking.

howiejriii

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#3 How Not To Use A Swiss Army Knife

My friend and I used to play a game where we threw a Swiss Army knife up in the air at night time and then ran away from it… with the knife part out.
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#4 Lucky He Didn’t Burn His Eyes Out

We would shoot each other with fireworks on New Year’s Eve. One time, a firework landed directly in between my eyes… Thankfully, it didn’t go off and I wasn’t injured.
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#5 Law School Is More Fun With Degenerates Around

“Hey, you know those degenerates who you stay out drinking with until sunrise every other day? Why don’t you live with them for the last two years of law school? That won’t cause any issues at all.” Cue two years of abuse to my body and liver, as well as more than a little strain between me and my friends at the time. Overall it was fun, but not a good idea.

#6 Not The Safest Way To Ride A Skateboard

I held onto my friend’s car mirror while skateboarding on a newly paved parking lot. Let’s just say that the entire idea resulted in me having to owe my friend $250 to get his car mirror fixed.

meta_uprising

#7 Leave Nature Alone

I was in Uganda with my family, and we saw a large, curled up leaf hanging about eight feet off the ground. We were told that those leaves curled up and fell out of the trees, and they’re pretty heavy, so they can be dangerous. My dad and I thought, “Won’t it be helpful of us to get this thing down?” So, we started whacking it with sticks, trying to get it down, to no avail, when my dad said, “Hey, climb up on that wall there, son, and jump! Grab it and then pull it down!”

So I did just that… I don’t manage to get it all the way down, but as soon as I hit the ground, I got this burning sensation in my elbow. Turns out, there was a hive of Ugandan mud wasps living in this specific leaf, and they did not take kindly to us men trying to tug their home down. I sprinted back to the office where the rest of my family was sheltered from the sun, and I practically had two elbows on one arm at this point.

I made it back inside and my arm was numb, except for the searing pain in my elbow. Thankfully, there was no further reaction—the pain lasted only around three hours and the swelling was down by the end of the day. That being said, it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Even worse than the time I broke my arm into three pieces while arm wrestling.

sgste

#8 Backflipping Right Into A High School Exam

In high school, my friend discovered that he was particularly agile. He’d often run toward a wall and kicking off of it into a backflip. Then, one day, we were inside a classroom and the teacher had stepped out for a moment. Of course, he took this opportunity to try his little trick. He didn’t, however, take into account the fact that drywall might not support his weight. His leg ended up busting straight through the wall to the other side, into a classroom full of students taking an exam. I wasn’t actually in the class taking the exam, but to this day, I still imagine how strange and hilarious it would be to be sitting in that class then suddenly see a leg burst through the wall. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

ToughPack88

#9 Alone In The Jungle

I went on a solo trip to Costa Rica when I was 26. I’m a fairly petite female and I speak no Spanish. The eco-lodge I was staying at helped me arrange a guide for an all-day hike. We were flown by four-seater plane into the jungle, which was a 26-hour walk to the nearest town. We landed, Jose and I hopped out, and the plane took off again, leaving me, Jose and his machete alone for the day. Thankfully it went OK, but as soon as that plane took off, I realized I had made a bad choice.

#10 Never Move In With A One-Sided Crush

I was roommates with someone I had a huge crush on. It didn’t end well.

#11 Trees And Bikes Do Not Mix

When I was a kid, I tried to ride my bike up the trunk of a tree so I could kick-off and try to land it. Turns out, a tree trunk is rounded and so you’ll just slip off the trunk and hit your head on the tree. My brother still makes fun of me for being so stupid.

Brotatoman

#12 Picking Up Hitchhikers Is Risky Business

On a rainy day, I saw a hitchhiker near the university asking for a ride. He looked the part of a student. Although I never pick up hitchhikers, I felt sorry for him standing in the rain, so I gave him a lift… It felt like the right thing to do at the time. He told me where he was headed, so I went out of my way to drive him there. The guy just kept staring at me and said very little. When we arrived at his destination, he wouldn’t get out of my car, no matter what. Finally, when a police officer came along, I told him to hop out or I’d call the cop over for help. That ended it. If the officer hadn’t come by, I have no idea what might have happened.
| Humaverse

#13 Look, No Hands!

When I was younger, I tried to show my sister that I could swing without holding on to the swing. So I tried it and… I fell.

#14 Having A Vending Machine In The Garage Just Wasn’t Meant To Be

When I was a teenager, my brother, cousin, and a couple of friends decided to try to steal a vending machine by tipping it over into the back of a Ford Ranger pickup. We were like, wow, we’ll just put it in our garage and have plenty of soda. It was 2 a.m. and we were all inebriated. This was in the mid-’90s, mind you, and way out in the country.

There was a little store with the machine. We backed up and my brother and I got it rocking back and forth until it finally went BLAM into the back of the truck. It lifted the front end of the truck off the ground. My brother hopped on the back of the vending machine riding it like a majestic horse. But we forgot to unplug it and for some reason, it was just enough that it pulled the machine out the truck with my brother on it and crashed to the ground. We were young, dumb, and bored.

Thatdewd57

#15 Golfing Is Not An Indoor Sport

I “practiced” my golf swing while standing on my bed. It was raining outside. I managed to take out two lights with the first swing—the bedside lamp and the overhead light (that one crashed down on my head). There was broken glass everywhere.

BroodingBryanAdams

#16 Not A Wise Shortcut After All

When I was working in retail for the first time, I was hired with three other people as seasonal employees for Black Friday. Towards the end of the day, they would send us to go bring in any shopping carts that were outside. Usually, we would have to push it in ourselves because we didn’t have one of those machines that would push it for you. Someone suggested, “Why don’t we just make one huge cart line and push it in instead of having four different lines?”

Everyone agreed, so we got everything and lined up and all three of us pushed it as it was so heavy. We managed to get inside the store and into the cart area, but we couldn’t stop its forward momentum. It blew past the rail and unfortunately on the other side of the cart area is where we kept the dishwashers, refrigerators, and TVs that are supposed to be going out for delivery. We ended up breaking a TV and denting a fridge. Unfortunately, the store manager was doing his nightly rounds around the store and saw the whole thing as he was coming down the main hall.

#17 Use Pepper Spray As Directly Only

My cousin and I were sitting on his balcony on a breezy day, and we decided to shoot my pepper spray into the air to see what it smelled like… Into the wind. Oh, how our eyes burned.

#18 It’s Usually A Bad Idea To Drive Over The Median

In high school, my friends and I were lost at night. We pulled over to get our bearings. I was the driver and decided to make a U-turn. There was a five-foot-long median that we needed to go over. My friend and I assessed the curb from the car and we were pretty confident that it was a low curb. There were cars starting to come from both directions so I gunned it before it was too late.

As we approached the curb, we both realized the curb was not small. It was way taller and not the nicely-curved type. I was only about 10 feet away when I noticed. I remember hearing Kevin say, “Oh no, it’s big, it’s big!” My instinct was to not stop, but increase my speed so that with force, my car would pop over the curb. The curb was so tall it scraped the bottom of my bumper. The car did make it up onto the median but it felt like we hit it really hard. I think I even heard the car say ouch. I get my wits about me and zoom out of there before the oncoming traffic gets to me. The car turned out okay, thanks to it being an old, heavy Oldsmobile.

#19 How She Ended Up With The Shortest Bangs Ever

I cut my own bangs at home. “This YouTube tutorial looks so easy, what could go wrong?” I asked myself. Oh boy.

#20 College Can Be A Bit Pricy These Days

I spent $200,000+ on a college diploma.

gotalightsoycandles

#21 If It’s Not A Real Sled Dog, It Shouldn’t Be Pulling Sleds

I was playing “Sled Dog” with my newly rescued husky and a longboard on the hilly streets near my house in college. I ended up snapping my right forearm in half and I had to walk a mile back home to get a ride to the hospital.

#22 The Best Way To Get Your Email Blacklisted In A Matter Of Seconds

I did a 9,000+ mass email to help my boss advertise for his business. I had never done it before and I was just trying to be efficient. My computer was incapacitated for three hours and I had my work email blacklisted by all the major email servers. Never again.

#23 Never Trust A Car Dealer

I heard an ad on the radio for a car lot that my friend’s parents owned. They were offering $6,000 over Kelly Blue Book value. At the time, I owed about $6,000 more than my car was worth. I called them up to see what they could do. I found a decent car I liked and ordered it direct from the factory. It was brand new with zero mileage on it. I took the deal without doing research and overly trusting my friends to do the right thing. I’m now driving a brand new car, but I overpaid by about $8,000. Great move.

#24 Why Not Just Try Normal Medicine?

When I was like 12 and should have known better, I had a severe sore throat and had a hard time swallowing anything without pain. So, being the genius that I was, I decided the only way to deal was to swallow hot candle wax because it would dry and coat my throat, preventing me from feeling any pain as I swallowed. It actually worked surprisingly well, but drinking hot wax from a candle isn’t particularly pleasant to do, so I don’t think I’m doing that again.

#25 One Man’s Safety Is A Whole School’s Danger

I used to bike to school to save on gas, but I often got chased by loose dogs on country roads. I bought an air pistol to defend myself, just in case they tried to bite me. An air pistol won’t seriously injure a dog if you ping it in the hindquarters and I was a pretty good shot. Anyway, one day, I got to school and someone saw me stashing the pistol in my bag after locking my bike up. That person called 911 and the whole place got put on lockdown while it got sorted out. I made the front page of the local paper and got a violation ticket ($50) for bringing a projectile firing device onto an educational campus.

#26 The Legal Driving Age Is 16 For A Reason

I let my cousin, a 14-year-old at the time, try driving the family car. I was like, 18 years 0ld back then and I told him it was easy to drive an automatic car. I told him the gas was on the right and the brakes were in the center. I forgot to mention that changing the gear to “D” would automatically have the car move. We both panicked and hit a freaking tree in front of us at probably 1 mph. Luckily, we were in our neighborhood by a dead end.

windam1992

#27 Beware The Rope Swing If You Have No Upper-Body Strength

At a bachelor’s party last year, we rented a small house in a small town in the middle of nowhere. The second day we are there, we decided to go to a local state park which had a nice swimming hole. As we were getting ready to get out of the water, one of the locals mentioned a rope swing on the other side of the little island in the middle of the lake.

Always being an adventurous person, I decided to swim out with a few of my friends to check it out. There were a couple of locals there and we watched them go first. It was a pretty high swing off a decent drop and the water seemed to get pretty deep. At this point, I should mention that I am about 6′ 3″ and 250 pounds. I should also mention that I have very little upper body strength. I’ve been a cyclist and runner most of my life and rarely worked out my upper body.

I took the rope swing, backed up to one of the highest points I could, and launched off. As the swing hit the lowest point, my hands slipped just a bit, but enough for me to react by dropping my knees. As this happened, my feet hit the ground and my hands let go of the rope. My left knee smashed into the water’s edge, which was much rockier than anticipated.

My hands plunged into the water, which was also much rockier than I anticipated. I coasted out into the water on my belly and float for a few seconds before regaining my composure. My leg was bleeding and my right hand hurt a lot. We went to local urgent care shortly after. Long story short, I ended up with 12 staples in my left knee to close the gash from the rocks. I had X-rays on my hand after the weekend and found out that I essentially shattered my right middle finger. I ended up needing surgery and now have three screws in that finger. It has most of its functionality, but it does hurt from time to time.

snoopiku

#28 Who Knew Ice Skating Could Be So Dangerous?

I went on a date ice skating and ended up falling. I shattered my leg in about 11 places and now I have metal in my leg. This was about six or seven months ago. The date, you might ask? Oh yeah, he dumped me four days ago because he didn’t love me anymore. This is my life.

#29 This Is What Happens When You Show Up Unannounced

I was in the area, so I stopped at my (now ex) girlfriend’s house to ask her to go to breakfast with me. I pulled up to see her at the front door with her neighbor walking out of her place while putting his shirt back on. She saw me and I just shook my head, waved and then left. I never spoke to her again.

#30 Leave The Water Skiing For The Water

“Snow-water skiing.” I drove a snowmobile across a snowy field with my little brother skiing behind, holding a tow-rope. He ended up with two broken legs.

CarlSpencer

#31 Shoes On The Roof

When I was in first grade, my two friends and I invented a game where we kicked our shoes off of the swings to see who could kick theirs the farthest. Somehow mine ended up on the roof and the janitor had to get it. I only cried for like 20 minutes!

CautionWetFloor

#32 Some Noises Are Better Left Undisturbed

I heard a noise at the attic door, so yanked it open… only to find three squirrels fall out of the ceiling.

#33 People Are Not The Best Hold For A Zip Line

My twelve-year-old self made a zip line with my friends. After tying one end of the rope to a tree at the top of a hill, we realized we didn’t have anywhere to tie it at the bottom. So, we decided we’d all hold the rope taut while we each took turns. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Surprisingly, the first crash not only failed to dissuade us but somehow managed to encourage us all to take a turn! Again, again!

Q-Westion

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#34 Maybe Some Of These Kids Should Have Tried Out For The Olympic High Jump

We played a game on our playground in elementary school called “High Wire, Low Wire.” It was mainly reverse limbo—two kids held a jump rope, pulled it taut, and another kid would jump over it. The rope would gradually be lifted after each round and would get higher and higher. We were allowed huge running starts in an attempt to leap over it the higher levels. We won no prize for our victories other than looking cool to everybody for two days, then having them totally forget our coolness. Did I mention it was on the paved portion of our playground? It’s a miracle none of us fractured our skulls, yet here we are.

tattooedjenny

#35 Hot Dogs Do Not Belong In The Toaster

My microwave was broken and I wanted a hot dog. I put it in the toaster oven and it started a grease fire. I threw water on it. Luckily, I accidentally shut the door when the fire exploded everywhere and it eventually petered out while I was having a panic attack.
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#36 What A Waste Of $4,000

I went to Las Vegas with a group of four was inebriated from the start to the end. I barely remember the trip I used $4,000 on…

MiikeW

#37 Small Children Should Not Walk Big Dogs, Especially Not On Wheels

I was walking my dog in roller skates when I was eight. It looks so easy on TV, until you’re face down in the dirt and being dragged around holding onto a leash for dear life because your dog will dart and run if you let go. On the bright side, my mother thought it was hysterical to watch from the living room window.

#38 Not The Best Place For A Prank “Help Me” Sign

I put a “help me” sign up in the back of my driver’s ed car as one of the other students was driving. We wound up getting pulled over by a few squad cars as they yelled at our instructor to get out of the vehicle. Obviously, I had to finish drivers ed at a different location.

malinhuahua

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#39 Ruining Vinegar For Life

I put white vinegar in a water bottle, next to my other water bottle for a school science project in the 6th grade. Needless to say, I accidentally took a big swig of vinegar and I’ve despised it ever since.

basicwhitegirl63

#40 Dying Your Hair Isn’t As Easy As It Looks

When I was 16, I was going through this emo-punk phase and I decided one day that I wanted to put colored streaks in my hair. So, I went to Walgreens and bought this semi-permanent red dye for dark hair, because I had no idea how to bleach my hair. I got home, applied the dye and thought, “I’m going to look so awesome!”

I had no idea what I was doing and instead of ending up with red streaks through my hair, I got a huge red splotch at the top of my head because all the dye clumped together or something. It looked terrible and was no longer worth getting in trouble for. The next morning, I saw my mom—she took one look at my hair and burst into laughter, saying, “Wow, you really messed that up, didn’t you?” She wasn’t mad; in fact, she thought it was hilarious, and after a bit of teasing, she went to Walgreens and got me a box of black hair dye so I could cover it up.

#41 They Found A Way To Make Dish Soap Dangerous

There was a new parking structure at a mall where I lived many years ago. It was smooth concrete and had a slight downslope at the entrance. We noticed it was slippery when it got wet. We, as teenagers, decided to squirt a bottle of dishwashing soap at the entrance and photograph the driver’s surprise when they couldn’t turn or stop. It caused six cars to crash in about a minute. We ran off and threw away the film. We didn’t want any evidence.

#42 Moving Across The World To Surprise A Girl Doesn’t Always Go As Planned

I sold everything I owned and moved to Australia to surprise a girl. Life isn’t a romantic comedy. We are still friends and Australia was a great place to visit, though.

deleted

#43 Rat Hunt Ends Badly

My two brothers and I thought it would be a good idea to go “rat hunting” in our garage along with our cat. I was like, eight years old and they let me carry what we thought was a dead one out of the garage. I got bit by one, but luckily I didn’t die.

SerLadyJenn

| Humaverse

#44 This Is Why Male Birth Control Needs To Be Put Onto The Market

An old coworker of mine was a really charming and good-looking guy, but he was a big-time player who was convinced he was going to be a bachelor all his life. He did not want to have children so he and got a vasectomy. Many years later, he met a woman who was supposed to be one of his hook-ups, only they ended up falling in love. So in love, in fact, that they wanted to marry and have children together.

Unfortunately, the guy was now sterile. He was very stressed out because he heard about the costs and complications involved in having a reverse vasectomy, as well as not wanting to let his significant other down. He swallowed his fear and over time he put together some money for the procedure. They’re happily married now and have 2 awesome kids, a boy, and a girl.

#45 Umbrellas Do Not Double As Parachutes

I jumped off a roof using a patio umbrella as a parachute. It didn’t work.
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