April 25, 2019 | Molly Seif

People Share When They Realized Their Best Friend Had Turned On Them


True friendship is a gift, perhaps a much rarer one than we may realize. While it's easy to call someone a friend during the happy-go-lucky times, real friends are the ones who are there through thick and thin; who will lend you cab fare or give you a place to sleep when you show up unexpectedly. They are the ones who listen when you talk and care about what you have to say; the ones who don't desert you when you need them the most.

Sometimes, we think someone is our best friend, but when the going gets tough, we learn the hard way that the bond wasn't as strong as we thought it was. Losing a best friend is painful, regardless of the reason. The following stories that people have shared about when they realized they lost their best friend are heartbreaking, upsetting, and downright infuriating, especially when deep betrayal is involved.

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#1 Mean Much?

She told me that my husband and I would make hideous babies because, in her opinion, red-headed babies are the ugliest things she has ever seen. She also locked me out of our hotel at 3 a.m. because we had gotten into a heated argument. It was all because she made a rude comment about how my husband kills people for a living (he's a chemist who works on developing chemotherapy). That was the last time I spoke to her. Such a jealous woman.

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#2 Better Off Without A Friend Like That Anyway

He didn't invite me to his birthday party. I went over to drop off a present, thinking he wasn't having a party (he hadn't mentioned anything at school) and I found him with his better friends.

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#3 Finding Out Your Best Friend's True Colors Can Sting

He told his brother to tell me he wasn't home if I called for him. I was upset, but it also made me realize not to waste my time on that person anymore. His brother felt guilty, but I told him not to worry because I said I'd never call back again.

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#4 Talk About Being Left In The Dark

He posted wedding photos on Facebook and I didn't even know he was dating anyone. Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything, especially if they're getting married and planning to throw a huge wedding.

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#5 Getting Blocked Is Serious

Our conversations were getting shorter and less intriguing. One day, I received great news and wanted to share it with my best friend. I then realized that they deleted and blocked me on social media.

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#6 She Probably Should Have Mentioned That Before The Dinner, Not After

She invited me out to dinner as a Christmas gift. When the check was dropped, she told me she actually couldn’t treat me because she had impulse-bought her awful boyfriend a plane ticket when she was tipsy the evening before. That was the moment, among other moments, when I was really like, wow, my friendship means nothing to her.

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#7 Some People Are Just Users

While they were driving, they decided they wanted to party. No one had money, so they suggested they should call me, Varvatos, since I always had money. I'm not their personal money bank. It sucks to feel like the only reason your friends keep you around is that they think you'll pay for everything.

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#8 Putting A Girl Before The Friendship Always Ends Badly

My best friend in high school, who I thought would be in my life for a long time, started to hit on a girl that I was talking to. He would lie about me to change her opinion of me. And the best part is, he never admitted to a thing. Maybe it wasn't that bad, but I felt really betrayed.

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#9 The Opposite Of Supportive

I found out she was uploading my art to a "bad art blog." I only found out because I was sent an anonymous hate message and when I went to her crying over it, she admitted it was her who sent it. I thought I could still fix things, but then I found the bad art blog with my art on it and found out she was talking trash about me to her other friends. I was only 15, and even though it's been years since, I'm still messed up by it in some ways. If you don't like someone, don't pretend to like them and make fun of them behind their back. Just let them know you feel like you can't be friends anymore and distance yourself. Yeah, that will hurt in the short term, but it won't monumentally traumatize someone's entire psyche.

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#10 He Didn't Take The News Well

He ghosted me after I told him I had a tumor that ended up being cancerous. It was probably the worst thing any friend of mine could do to me, let alone my best friend. Who ghosts their friends when they're at their absolute lowest point?

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#11 It's Clear Where His Priorities Lie

I have lived within two hours of him for the last six years and he has never come to visit me. It's always me visiting him. The last straw was during a July 4th BBQ that I hosted. I invited him and he declined so that he could go to a lake with strangers.

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#12 The Most Back-Handed "Compliment" Of All

She told me she doesn't like other girls except me because she likes to be the prettiest girl in the room. It may seem overdramatic to end a friendship over a snarky comment, but it's not even that she was being sarcastic. She 100% believed what she was saying.

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#13 A Friendship Should Not Be One-Way Street

When my "best friend" had marriage troubles, I was there for him—all through his wife's infidelity, the divorce, and even the custody battle. I testified on his behalf in court and he got custody of the kids. Fast forward two years later, I found out my wife was cheating on me. He was not really interested in talking to me about it so much and even acted like he wasn't home when I stopped by for a visit. He's a good dad and a fun guy to hang around with, but he's just not emotionally available to help other people out much.

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#14 A Liar And A Backstabber

When we went out to eat, I offered to pay (as usual) because she told me that she forgot her purse. She ordered loads of food and ate only half of it. After leaving, her shoelace was loose and when she bent over to tie it, I saw a $100 bill sticking out of her back pocket. She did this to me for four years and I never realized. I gave her another chance without saying a word, but three days late, I found out she was constantly using my Instagram to text my ex-boyfriend in an attempt to end my current relationship.

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#15 Sadness Is Not Weakness

I opened up to her about my postpartum depression and she told me that she didn’t have time for depressed friends. She saw depression as a sign of weakness. I was never vulnerable to her, but I was dying inside. I really needed someone and she told me she didn’t care. I began shutting her out at that point.

#16 They're Both Trash

When my girlfriend left me, my best friend at the time said, "It's cool man, I hooked up with her. You don't want trash like that in your life." He was right.

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#17 And They Lived Happily Ever After

We stopped talking when he married his wife. I moved away for college and he stayed local, during which time he was still dating the woman who would later become his wife. We stayed in contact and everything, but the distance was very hard for both of us. Staying in contact meant like, a phone call every four months or so. I still think of him as my brother, and I was the best man at his wedding. But during the course of the wedding and reception, I realized he had made a new best friend, and now he was marrying her.

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#18 If Only She Hadn't Insisted So Much

After years of giving me a hard time for eloping with my first husband, plus insisting that she be invited to my second wedding once I got divorced, I invited her. On the big day, she got her mom to babysit her kids, then went to her ex-boyfriend's house all weekend, totally blowing off my wedding. My wedding was extremely small. Besides my daughter, she was my only invited guest. She showed me that moment exactly how important I was to her.

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#19 You Can't Control How You Feel

I was the problem, not him. I fell in love with him and could not reverse my feelings. I'm ashamed of this. He deserved a better friend. He has moved on, but I still miss him.

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#20 Why Don't You Say What You Really Think

He was asking for help with his homework from people in our class. They suggested he asked me for help since I sat next to him, but he replied, “I’m not asking him, he’s freaking stupid.” I was near him, printing stuff out when he said it, and I was so surprised. I just pretended I didn’t hear anything and went back to my desk. I didn’t speak to him for a while after that.

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#21 Better Off Without Him, Bro

When my ex broke up with me, I needed my best friend to be there for me. But he didn't give me a single call, text message, or word about it, even when all our other friends were genuinely worried for me. Nah; instead, the guy just started hanging out with my ex more.

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#22 So Much For The Butt Wiping

It was after my divorce. I moved in with my best friend at the time, who I considered my brother. Aside from the divorce, I was going through a lot, like having to apply for disability and my mom being terminally ill. Meanwhile, he had started taking testosterone and gotten married to a woman who insisted on "traditional values" and him being the "man of the house."

This all translated to him being completely insensitive. He kept calling me lazy and accusing me of mooching off him, despite the fact that I was doing all the housework. He kicked me out after a month. For context, five years before he had been really ill, I moved in to take care of him when nobody else would. I even gave the bastard sponge baths. I wiped his literal butt for him and he couldn't handle the fact that some days my disabled self had to skip doing the dishes.

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#23 Now That's What You Call Two-Timing

I went to my boss asking why my best friend was promoted instead of me when I had been working longer and had a better work ethic. My boss told me that my "friend" had mentioned I wasn't interested in the promotion. My friend and I lived together and we had talked about how nice it would be for me to get the promotion. She sabotaged my career for her own gain.

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#24 Talk About A Drama Queen

When I told her I was moving in with my boyfriend in a different state, she screamed and swore at me. She busted into my room at my home (while I was talking to my boyfriend on video chat), saying he would probably kill me, or just dump me on the street after breaking up with me. We still live together and she eventually got over it, but it hasn't been the same since.

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#25 Daughter Comes First

My friend completely ghosted me after I had my daughter. She never called or texted me. She got angry if I invited her over. Later, she told me she was upset with me because I wasn’t paying enough attention to her. Good riddance.

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#26 Apparently A Friend For The Wrong Reasons

He asked to "borrow" $3,000 so he could buy his car. I don't lend large amounts of money. Last time, he borrowed $50 for Mother's Day and I never got it back. So naturally, I said no. He never wanted to hang out after that.

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#27 It's Not The Same

She tried to tell me that she understood how I felt about my mom's death because her parents were getting divorced and she would only be able to see her dad every other weekend. Then, she made it all about herself by saying how she wasn't sure if she could cope with the depression. I had to comfort her in my time of greater need. I'm not trying to minimize the impact of the divorce on her; I'm sure it hurt a lot, but at least she still had her dad. My mother was gone! The two are not the same thing.

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#28 Toxic Friendships Can Really Sneak Up On You

I had an exceptionally close friend in high school. We'd talk on the phone several times a week and share our innermost feelings with each other, but we mostly joked around. Lots of people thought we were dating but we both kept it platonic. The closer I got to her, the further I drifted from my other friends, not to mention my family who she didn't really care for. It obviously added some baggage to any romantic relationship I found myself in.

When we went off to separate colleges, we had a lot of time apart. I ended up going to therapy for my depression and my therapist pointed out that although the friendship had its merits, it wasn't exactly healthy. The thought had honestly never crossed my mind before! I thought she was exaggerating, but I kept in the back of my mind.

On the drive back from a strange day trip to see her, it just hit me how toxic the friendship really was. She was incredibly nice to me, but she subtly led me to believe that it was us against the world; that I couldn't really trust anyone except her. I wouldn't jump to calling it abusive, but it was definitely messed up. I ended up ghosting her the next week. At first, I felt guilty about it, but ultimately, I think it was the right move for both of us.

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#29 Who Would Miss Someone Like That?

I realized that I was always the one making the plans, while she was always canceling them. She'd only go through the trouble of contacting me if she wanted something from me. She'd often agree to plans with me as a placeholder, then cancel if she found something more exciting to do. If I called her on it, she'd act like I was being clingy. Back in October, I realized all of this and thought, "I wonder if I'd ever heard from her again if I stopped trying to make plans."

So I stopped contacting her and didn't hear from her again until last week when she pretended to start up a casual conversation with me. She started asking about my job. I knew she had been considering leaving her job, so she was definitely hinting at me to help her get a spot at my place of work. When I said I couldn't help her, she didn't even bother continuing the conversation with me. I think the sadder part is that I don't miss her.

#30 Only There For The Good Times

My best friend of 20 years wasn't there for me when my dad passed away, He sent a simple condolence text on the day it happened and made a quick visit at the wake. She was literally at his 70th birthday the week before. We went on vacations together. It's been five years and I feel like I lost two people that week.

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#31 No Rude People Allowed

She started to say some really offensive stuff. I mean, appallingly offensive. I think she had some serious issues. Neither her mom or her dad seemed all that blunt, but she sure was.

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#32 Time To Say Goodbye To That One

I realized that, despite her absolute best intentions, she was leading me in the wrong direction. She had me believe that I wasn't ever going to find any other deep and meaningful connections in my life. It all started when I got close to a girl who I had a lot in common with. I fell hard, and unhealthily so.

A huge part of the reason why I fell so hard was that I had been conditioned to believe that it was unreasonable for me to expect to find people I could bond with over the things that truly get me excited in life. My best friend, on the other hand, made herself out to be an outright unicorn. The weird thing is, she was right—I was never going to find people like that within the circle she curated because that circle consistently dismissed so much of what I'm passionate about and who I am.

#33 At Least Some Good Came Out Of A Bad Situation

I realized she only wanted to receive support and kindness, but never give it. She had a rough home life growing up and I always supported her through everything. I would drop what I was doing when she’d call me in tears to help her. Then, I had my own rough patch that left me in a depressive rut. She was always too busy with her hobbies to even talk to me when I sought her support. She would get angry when I asked her to hang out because it was too “needy.”

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#34

Disabilities Are Not A Joke

My family was in a rough spot, so we lived with my friend for a bit. As time went on, I could tell my friend seemed uncomfortable around my wife. I told him that if he had a problem with my wife, then he had a problem with me. Word got around and he eventually had to kick us out. I haven't heard from him since.
A lot of people have difficulty realizing my wife is disabled. She has a condition called fibromyalgia, and many of my friends and family just thought she was lazy. Forget them. We've been married almost 14 years, have a great relationship, four kids, and despite all the horrific pain and suffering she goes through, we're doing okay for ourselves now.

#35 No Need To Say Goodbye Twice

My brother passed away, so my best friend promised to be my best man in his place. The only thing is, he didn't show up to the wedding, for no reason whatsoever. As if that wasn't enough, after the wedding, he spread incredibly nasty rumors about me.  He eventually passed away after a car accident and I didn't fly home for his funeral. I don't know what else to say except that it seems like I already said goodbye to him a decade prior.

#36 A Person Who Steals From You Is Not Your Friend

I'm in the creative industry and I used to have a "writing partner", who was also my best friend. After I left for Los Angeles, suddenly he had a website, a podcast, and people to invest in him reopening a small town movie theater. I thought, good for him until I looked at the website and realized he stole ideas that I had pitched to him.

They were dumb things of course, but very specific, and on brand with what I had thrown away. He's pretty successful now. That's when I realized, he never called me, or texted me, or told me anything about any of his successes. Then, I came home for my birthday, and after getting super intoxicated together, he asked me, "Aren't you going to congratulate me on the theater?"

I pretended to not even know what he was talking about. It was like he was waiting to be face to face with me so that he could gloat? He has some weird, residual resent from me leaving town and trying to do bigger things. I don't think he's resolved it within himself. I used to be so angry about our relationship and his flippant, showboating, fake attitude that he adopted in order to play businessman. But, after my last visit home, and seeing how everyone we knew treated him like a nuisance, I just feel bad for him.

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#37 It Wasn't Actually About The Voting Though

We voted in the 2016 election. On the way there and back, she kept talking about how the voting was a waste of time and how she couldn't believe I dragged her into it. "One vote doesn't make a difference," she'd always say. After we voted, she dropped her phone and the screen shattered. She said it was the universe telling her that voting is useless and later proceeded to blame me for her broken phone. I had never met a more delusional and self-absorbed person.

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#38 Baby Mama Wasn't Having It

When he got his girlfriend of three months, a pregnant mother with two toddlers, he cut all communication off between us. I sent him messages and emails every couple of weeks, but no response at all. It broke my heart. I have a feeling his baby mama took his phone and blocked me. He was my best friend for 13 years, turned into a stranger.

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#39 Hey, Jealousy

She told me I was terrible because I have a perfect life. Side note, she watched me grow up in an abusive household for seven years, ever since we were in school together. I moved out at 17 and have supported myself since then. She lived at home while her parents paid her way through college. I’m now in a happy (but far from perfect) marriage and her bitterness exploded when I found someone.

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#40 No One Likes A Controlling Friend

When she told me to get rid of my daughter because I was struggling at the time. She was super rude about it and went on about how much worse having a child would make things. I stopped talking to her that same day and haven't spoken to her since. My daughter is 15 months old now and in the time since this conversation happened, I've paid off my student loans, gotten off of all government help, paid off my car, and bought a house.

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#5 What A Horrible Thing To Say To A Friend

She asked me when I would lose weight to look beautiful again.

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#4 Dogs Are Family Too

She ignored me for three days after my dog died, despite knowing full well just how important my dog was to my life. She was my everything. When your everything gets suddenly taken away from you, you feel the emptiest you've ever been. That's when I needed my best friend most, but she was too busy chasing guys I guess.

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#3 High On The List Of Things A Bad Friend Says

I excitedly told him that I’d gotten into medical school and his response was, "Um... Okay... I probably should have told you this before, but I think you won’t make a good doctor."

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#2 I Guess Glow Sticks Always Win

I was leaving for boot camp and asked her if she wanted to hang out the night before I left. She told me there was a rave going on that night and she had been waiting to go to it for a few weeks. Instead of telling me goodbye during a really emotional point in my life, she went to a rave to wear glow sticks.

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#1 Be Careful Who You Travel With

She said to me, with a straight face, that she would rather leave me behind in a foreign country and hop on a plane back home alone. I had accompanied her to France for a graduation trip, and she treated me like a slave the entire time. When I confronted her about it, I was gaslighted. That turned out to be the last week I ever spoke to her.

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