People Share What Made Them Ghost A Friend
One of the best feelings in the world is knowing you’ve found a friend for life. On the flip side, one of the worst is when that person doesn’t turn out to be that great after all. From mistreating pets to making the rest of the group uncomfortable, these are the reasons someone cut ties with their so-called friends.
#1 All About Me
I invited an old friend for lunch a couple of months back and all she did was talk about their problems. We’ve more or less gone our own paths, so we have different friends and schedules etc. At one point, we were best friends. Among other stuff, that just solidified my decision to let things deteriorate naturally. She didn’t ask a single question about me but I listened to a lot about her. She was really interested when it came to my jobs and how much I was making.
#2 Wasting Time
I was bullied in school – but my worst bully was my “best friend.” I used to come home and cry to my mom. I’d would be heartbroken over how my “best friend” was treating me. Honestly, I don’t remember what my mom would tell me, but I wish she would’ve told me that I was worth way more than the treatment than I received from her.
I wish she told me that she was a bad friend and I should drop her, that I had friends who treated me with respect and that I should spend my time with them. I also wish that she told me she would have forbidden me from hanging out with her — anything. I wasted something like 15 years with that girl in that toxic friendship.
#3 Starting a Family
Her fiance was arrested and did time for possession of underage material. When he got out, she married him and talked about how excited she was to have children with him. I understand that people are concerned about any children that are born to these people. I’m concerned too. That said, I cut off contact with her six years ago. I can’t Facebook stalk her due to her privacy settings. I also moved a few time zones away, so I’m not in the same social circle as her anymore either. All I can do is hope that the people who are still in her orbit do their due diligence. It sucks, but that’s the option available to me.
#4 Room to Grow
When I realized she was maybe my best friend, but I was not hers. In fact, I was only “useful” to her. I was so mad at her after our last conversation that it took me months to calm down. Then I realized she was more of a burden than anything else, that and the fact she loved drama. When she contacted me back four years later by email and apologized, I quickly realized it was fake. She said it wasn’t her fault we stayed out of touch for so long, it was her ex-boyfriend who forced her to cut contact with all her male friends. At 42 years old, she didn’t change and never will. It’s never her fault in her opinion. I simply deleted her email, and I was relieved.
#5 Group Chat
Every time there was a girl involved, this dude turned into the cringiest being there is. He’d try so hard to get laid. In a group chat, when two girls were talking about what to wear for their girls’ night out, he started bringing up panties, bras and whatnot. I left that group and started a new one with everyone from the old group except him.
#6 Changing Attitudes
He started talking smack about me to my girlfriend and best friend. His dad had a history of drinking problems and he was starting to exhibit the same behaviour. So, I suggested we should both take a break from drinking for a while and try to focus on some healthier stuff. He apparently took that as “I’m not the same person” and my girlfriend was the person who changed me.
#7 Just Kidding
This guy told me “You’ll never be a good teacher.” He said that after two years of unemployment following my graduation with a teaching degree. I realized the tool had meant every “joking” insult he’d ever said to me. I still have relationships that throw around a lot of humor like that, but it comes from a place of absolute trust. We know each others’ no-go spots and the stuff we can joke about. Generally, it’s riffing on stupid things we’ve done, not who we are or what we believe.
#8 Nobody’s Errand Boy
He knocked on my door one night and said, “Let’s go for a drive.” This wasn’t that odd since I love driving to cool my head. So, we started driving and maybe 10 minutes in, he started directing me on where to go. He asked me if I mind making a quick stop. I was annoyed but said sure. We ended up at this sketchy house in the middle of nowhere and my buddy went inside, but told me to wait in the car.
Almost 45 minutes later he came back out and said we had to go to the bar. It took me about 10 seconds to realize this jerk went in there to get a substance and was already off his rocker. I told him that I wasn’t feeling it that night and dropped him off at his place. I spoke to him once after that when he wanted to hang and I told him I was nobody’s errand boy. I never cared if he got the message because I haven’t spoken to him since.
#9 Poking the Bear
They used way too many insults as their sense of “humor,” which really messed with my esteem. We were friends for a while and it was almost always insulting humor. That combined with a slew of other things just got to me. I took it personally and ended up blowing up at them. I really don’t have any way to talk to them and don’t care anymore.
#10 Everything I Do
My only “friend” and her boyfriend got mad at me for not talking to them as much when I was in a relationship. I don’t remember any time either of them reached out to me. I’d send funny YouTube videos or stories about customers and there would be nothing. I cut off contact and got told that I was trying to pick my ex over them. I told them before cutting off contact that my ex apologized to me and we came to terms that we had significantly different goals in life. It hurt to realize that, but I can move on with my life getting that closure.
I was told by her loser boyfriend that neither of us were mature enough to come to that conclusion. He also made fun of how much debt I was in for trying to go to school to reach my dreams. He got mad at me for looking into buying a used car in the next year because the transmission seemed like it was going out in mine.
I’m done with people for right now. I have no friends anymore. But it’s better to have no friends than to have people like that in your life. I just want to work on my own goals without someone breathing down my neck like that and criticizing everything I do. Even my own mother doesn’t pick apart what I do like that.
#11 Better Plans
My “best friend” growing up was a kid I lived next door to from the age of nine until 18. At school, he would pretend not to know me so he could seem cool to the popular kids. He would invite me places then ditch me. He would break plans so he could free up time to hang with his cooler friends. That got real old, real fast.
When I was 18, I moved to the other side of town. We were growing apart more and more but I would still try to hang out with him when I could. One day he asked me to come over to his house and play Tony Hawk’s ProSkater when it first came out. I was so pumped that I walked three miles to his house only to be told that he was going to go hang out at his other friend’s house instead, but asked if could I babysit his siblings.
Needless to say, things weren’t the same after that. I stopped answering his calls. He would stop by and I would leave just to avoid him. He would make plans to hang out and I never bothered going. I just gave up on trying to be friends with that guy. I tried so hard for almost 10 years to be a good friend to him and he pushed me to the wayside.
#12 The Worst Kinds of People
I was getting super close to an old friend from college, his new wife and their kids. We were going out of town for like a week and asked them to dogsit. It was the worst-case scenario. They neglected my dogs . There were at least two days where they didn’t get let out or fed. They also left my younger dog in his kennel for 24 hours.
When I asked why there was waste in his cage, their response was, “If I had known it was there, I would have cleaned it up.” Like, you’re missing the point. I’m not mad I had to clean it up. I’m mad that you neglected my dog s. He never went potty in the house, let alone his kennel. I was absolutely livid with them.
If that wasn’t enough, the house was a wreck. They took $40 out of our change jar, let her kid lose all the pieces to my vacuum, let her kid play with a pound container of garlic salt and spill it everywhere (don’t worry, she swept it underneath the couch). They also used all our tea and coffee and put a whole pot of macaroni down the garbage disposal, giving us plumbing problems to this day. For months it was like finding little cherries on top as I discovered yet another terrible thing they did.
#13 Paying the Bills
I came home to find the power off because the bill hadn’t been paid. We were friends from work. He had split up from his ex and I needed to be closer to work, so we went halfsies on a rental. He also had three kids from the previous relationship. With me being the nerd, I agreed to pay the tech bills like the Internet, phone, cable TV.
He agreed to pay the power as he burnt more because his kids were over on access visits. Well, I came home one day to a dark house. Hmmm. I investigated and found out he hadn’t paid the power for ages because his new girlfriend wanted the money. Then I discovered he wasn’t paying his rent either for the same reason. I was down $5k, had no power, missing half the rent, and we were evicted. Ghosted.
#14 Time Passes By
Depression. Keeping up communication is rough sometimes. A day of not replying to a message can become a week when you don’t know how to explain that you just couldn’t be around people that day. It can then become a month when it always seems impossible to reach out and explain where you’ve been. Thankfully, my friends are the understanding sort and don’t give me too hard a time, but I still feel awful.
#15 Up All Night
When I was in college, I (M) and a friend (M) went out drinking with a mutual friend (F). We drank enough to decide to all crash at my apartment, which was within walking distance of the pub. My female friend passed out on the sofa as soon as we got there. I chatted with my friend for about 10 minutes, before he starting talking about my passed out girl.
He’d keep looking at her and say things like, “I could touch her right now and she’d never know.” I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t kick him out. What I did was stay up all night sitting in a chair next to her, just to make sure he didn’t do anything to her. That guy was the worst. Needless to say, I ghosted him after that night.
#16 Boss of You
She burned the bridge. For most of the year and a half that she and I started working at the same place, she bullied me, micromanaged me, made me feel left out, and gaslighted me whenever I tried to confront her behavior. It was almost always my fault, nothing I ever did was right, and she refused to believe that she has control issues or that she was using me. She started doing this thing where she wouldn’t text me unless I texted her first, then get mad if I didn’t text her. So, once she quit the job, I stopped texting her. I haven’t spoken to her at all since August 2019 and I don’t regret it.
#17 Laundry List
When I realized she liked hating things more than liking them. I hate beer, EDM, Marvel, Channing Tatum, and football. Those are all things she said at one point or another. It’s okay that we don’t enjoy the same things, but she’d go out of her way to let me know she hated something and rarely talked about what she liked.
#18 Pretend it Didn’t Happen
This happened with multiple people. They tried to tell me I was too sad and depressing not even a month after watching my father pass away. They said that I should just pretend it didn’t happen when I was around them. I called them out for the trash they are and said if they ever show their face around me again, I’d fight them.
#19 Miserable Existence
I’ve always been the “if there’s no better offer” friend. They’ll plan to do something with me until something they’d rather do comes up, then they’d do that without me. People are stupid, selfish and cruel. I’ve been alone without anyone I call a friend for years now. Better that than fake friends, but it’s still a miserable existence.
#20 Turning the Tide
I had a friend who I probably should have stopped talking to long before I did, but his escapades included sleeping with my ex of three years a week or so after we broke up. He also got really handsy with my sister (against her will) on my 21st birthday. He was just being a general creep to girls for a long time. I do not talk to this person anymore and these were the events that definitely turned the tide almost immediately.
#21 Shiny New Friend
She started hanging out with a new friend, which was fine. Then while we were hanging out, as pre-planned, she would leave to go hang out with her new friend. She’d also break plans with me to hang out with her, all while tagging the new girl on Facebook, so none of it was being hidden. Three years later, she reached out to me and apologized. It was genuine as she mentioned insightful things she would have no way of knowing unless she had grown and been very honest with herself. We were friends for another two years until she started to hang out with another new friend. Rinse and repeat.
#22 Sharing Triggers
I loved this girl. She was so clutch for me when my life was in ruins. The issue was that she and I were both addicts at the same time and both came from the same types of affluent families. For whatever reason, I got clean and turned my life around while she got worse. I got clean and only recently (seven years later) started experimenting with maybe one or two drinks per month if I’m out with my husband.
She ended up with this awful guy who she wouldn’t give up and who got her hooked on harder substances. I was there for her for a long time. After rehab and a few arrests, she stayed at my house for a bit on two different occasions. But the last time she did, she tore my house apart looking for alcohol (which we didn’t have).
She also took my ID so she could get Postmates to deliver vodka to my house and nearly got us both hurt by grabbing my steering wheel while I was going 80mph. I tried so many times to help her get and stay clean, but she kept going back to that guy and her triggers are my triggers. I had to distance myself because she was making me relapse.
#23 Worst Possible Thing
Whenever I would talk about feeling stressed and my mental health not being in an optimal condition, she would say, “Oh come on. You don’t have actual problems, there are people out there that actually have depression, anxiety, etc.” She always downplayed the struggles I’d go through just because it wasn’t the worst possible thing that could happen.
#24 Too Much For Me
There was just way too much drama. She once told a sob story in order to garner sympathy points, but the story didn’t check out. In the end, no one believed what she was saying, so she got even angrier about it. I honestly decided to book it because her stories and blame-games were getting to be too much for me.
#25 Going to Grad School
She betrayed my best friend when they were dating. The three of us had known each other since high school and they started dating in college. She got into grad school in another state and I moved in with him since he needed a roommate. About two months into the long-distance relationship, she slept with someone else. I just stopped talking to her after that because she hurt him so much.
#26 The Cat Incident
We were friends for years. I did so much for her over the years and didn’t even bat an eyelash. One time, I asked her to watch my cat while I went on a 10-day vacation (a cat that she also “loved” because it belonged to her family before me). She agreed. I even called her about four days into my vacation to ask her again to go and check on my cat to make sure it had food, water and a few scritches.
When I came home, my cat’s water and food bowl were bone dry and she let out the most tormenting meows I have ever heard. My “friend” didn’t check on her once in the 10 days that I was gone. She played stupid when I confronted her about it and said, “Oh! I completely forgot!” That was the beginning of the end.
After the cat incident, she tried to make me feel guilty for being mad at her for it. I think I even ended up apologizing because she was so beside herself. A few more disagreements accrued after that, and I was always put on a guilt trip. I decided that I didn’t need that negativity in my life anymore and I ghosted her. To this day, she tries to get back to me. Even through mutual friends, she bad mouths me, then tells them how much she misses me. She’s insane.
#27 Obsessed With Me
He became obsessed with me telling me he loved me in front of my friends. He’d become super angry and jealous whenever I talked to my other male friends. He also told me that when I visited him I would have to sleep in his bed. I made it very clear we would not ever be a thing. He then started reaching out to my friends to get them to convince me to talk to him again. They told him to shove it after they found out why I ghosted him. It’s been a few months now I haven’t regretted the decision.
#28 Twisted Revenge
An ex-friend of mine was gay and developed a huge crush on me, but couldn’t take a hint no matter what I tried. When I told it to their face that I wasn’t gay, they took it badly and replied with, “I only think you’re gay because everyone else does.” That made me paranoid about what other people thought of me ( even though there’s nothing wrong with being gay, it’s awkward when people think you’re gay when you’re not). I was still prepared to forgive him until he set me up for failure with my crush at the time as some kind of twisted revenge antic.
#29 The Nice Guy
I had a friend who always became a different person as soon as other ladies were around. We knew each since before puberty and he viewed me more in a sisterly light. Well, so he said. He’d always want to not be within five feet of me if other girls were around because he “didn’t want them to get the wrong idea.”
Until he decided he did actually like me enough to try and date me days after a breakup. I let him down gently, but then he started screaming at me and calling me names because he knew I’d slept with my ex. But he was “always there for me” and I just wanted to find another jerk to sleep with. I’d dated my ex for just under a year at that point, my longest relationship to date as a petty and shallow teen.
The guy went full incel and stopped speaking to me. He also started spreading awful rumors about me in school, which I was already frequently accused of because I dressed really punk and liked wearing plaid skirts, fishnet sleeves, and collars. As far as I know, nobody from our old friend circle talks to him anymore. Last I heard, he was still very hateful and when asked if he’d talked to me recently, he went on a whole rant.
#30 Wedding Invite
We stayed in different hotels at his destination wedding. He called me to set a dinner date and they no-showed. I figured they were tired from travel, but they posted on Facebook that they were out partying it up with her best friend. When I called him about it, he said I was complaining. I reminded him of all the times I was there for him.
I was the only person — including family — to go see him after his first wife passed away. He even lived several states away. I also lent him money when he was unemployed and thought we should be treated better than that. I added that they were pretty rude not to even call and let us know they weren’t coming. He told me to “grow up.” I laughed and just hung up.
My wife and I spent the day being tourists. He called that night after we were asleep and left multiple messages wanting us to meet them. He left maybe 10 messages. The more time passed, the more tipsy messages we got. He was crying in the latter stages. My wife and I got up really early the next day to go scuba diving and I figured I would call him when we were done. By the time we got off the boat, we got a text saying we were “uninvited.” I haven’t communicated with him since and never will again.
#31 Incredibly Selfish
It was when I lost a job I had a couple of years ago and she didn’t say she was sorry to hear that or ask if I was okay. She ghosted me for a week and then when I heard from her, she said, “Now that you have this wonderful life, I guess you don’t need me.” I hardly had a wonderful life. I lost my job and health insurance and didn’t know what I was going to do. But she assumed things were great because I had marked on Facebook that I was going to some activities (which had been planned before the job loss). I realized she wasn’t a friend and how incredibly selfish she was.
#32 High School Friends
We were good friends in high school and he started getting into substances. At first it was just grass and alcohol, but then he started hanging out with people I wasn’t comfortable with. So, I transitioned to a new set of friends and so did he. Fast forward a year or so and we bumped into each other at a college party.
He started telling me these stories of being completely out of his mind on substances, etc. I realized that he was putting his life into these things. A few years later and he was arrested for armed robbery. Then when he got out of jail, he OD’d and now he’s gone. Maybe I could have helped, but now I’ll never know.
#33 The Tipping Point
We were hanging out having a great time and he said, “I always forget how fun you are.” I said, “It’s like you forget I exist unless I’m right in front of you.” He laughed and agreed, thinking I was joking or something, but it was very real. Unfortunately, I stuck around for a few more months, but that was definitely the tipping point.
#34 Pleaded for Forgiveness
I was really good friends with this girl in the fifth grade (or so I thought). When we first met, we got along really well, but I started noticing after two years that she’d hang out with me when I was with my guy friends. She’d then pretend that she was there to hang out with me, push me to the side, and flirt with my guy friends.
Now, obviously I could tell that her actions made my male friends uncomfortable. So, I confronted her about it one day and she just said, in front of my guy friends, “I don’t know you. Why are you here?” After that, I stopped inviting her to hang out and she pleaded for my forgiveness, but I just ignored her.
#35 Can I Interest You?
Multi-Level Marketing. She was pretty aggressive with selling Monat to me and a couple of other friends we shared. So much so that she started posting passive-aggressive messages about finding out who your true friends are when they don’t support you. I was trying to be nice and purchased two bottles to support her just once. When she charged me, though, she tacked on a bunch of “fees” that she didn’t mention before. One hundred dollars spent to learn that real friends don’t strong-arm you to buy and upcharge you on their stupid products.
#36 Leaving a Note
She was controlling and judgemental. A couple of months after my grandfather passed away (he raised me), she was hounding me to go out to the club because I needed to get over it. I slowly faded myself out after that. She didn’t handle it well. She showed up at my house asking my grandmother where I was and left a note on my car. Nope.
#37 Warning Others
She stirred up stuff between everyone. It was just a game to her to ruin friendships, people that she wasn’t even close friends with. Nearly 10 years later and I’m told she still tries it on with her wider circle (or rather, her husband’s circles, as she no longer has any friends of her own). But they all treat it like a joke and ignore her. They even go so far as to warn others in a joking manner.
#38 Quip On Their Feet
The majority of the jokes in my friend group are just jabs at me. For example, we play online together every day because and sometimes we play Quiplash , a game in Jackbox . How you play is two of you get the same prompt and have to finish the line, which the audience then votes on the funniest one. It just sucked how many made fun of me. I know they were meaningless, but it still hurt a bit.
#39 Study Partners
A girl I met in one of my biology labs came off as really nice. I didn’t really know anyone in the small lab and she invited me to be study partners, which I gladly accepted. The first study session was at a coffee shop off-campus. She complained about her “best friend” for three hours. She was the most negative, entitled person I’ve ever met. After that semester, I deleted her number and never talk to her again.
#40 Three Days Later
I realized I was only their friend because they had no other friends who would put up with their nonsense. They were addicted, “afflicted” because they were gay (nobody had any problem with this), and constantly said they were going to end their lives. I was patient for longer than anyone else and even said how I was feeling. They would get high and text me about 20 times throughout the night almost every night. I blocked them three days later.
#41 Tire Me Out
He was complaining non-stop about his life with no intention to change it. He would complain about this and that, asking me for advice, and whenever I gave advice to him he would say, “Yes, but I can’t…” There would always be a pathetic excuse for not trying, even the most basic stuff. All of this eventually started to tire me out.
#42 Friend Group
I ghosted my entire friend group of over five people. Some of those friends I had since kindergarten. I wasn’t enjoying hanging out with them anymore. I don’t know what changed, but it just wasn’t the same. Additionally, I wasn’t having fun and I found myself not wanting to go anymore. I regret it some days and it could be because they were such life long friends. That or the fact that I don’t have the skills to make new friends. It kind of sucks.
#43 A Known Dependent
He married a known dependent who then conceived his child. I was going through a tough time during my divorce and he asked me to move 14 hours away to live with him and his family. I saw the daily interworkings of their lives and relationships and saw her physically and emotionally attack him. She often threatened to say he was sadistic and she was going to take their son away from him. I told him he needed to get out of the relationship before she hurt the kids or him beyond repair. He wouldn’t do it so I packed up one night and drove 14 hrs home. I haven’t talked to him since.
#44 Stance on Kids
My ex-friend had a child and most of our conversations would lead towards inquiring about my stance on having children in the future. They’d frequently check if my stance had changed and then try to convince me to change my mind in a variety of ways. I ghosted once the method of persuasion began to revolve around “not having children means no value of life.” I do occasionally miss our thoughtful conversations on mutual interests.
#45 Failed Relationships
This guy dated a couple of girls I knew. Through separate conversations with them, I learned he consistently treated them like dirt, while complaining to everyone who would listen how awful they were. It only confirmed my suspicions. If the sole common factor in all of your failed relationships is you, you are the problem.
#46 Learned His Lesson
He was a decent person, but wouldn’t stop trying to impress everyone he met. He wanted to be seen as cool and would over-exaggerate his accomplishments to everyone who would listen. The last straw for me and another friend was when he got upset at us after we called him out for lying and calling himself a hero for perks. We were there and knew what really happened. I hope he learned his lesson.
#47 No Mention of Me
She started ghosting me when she got a boyfriend and kept wondering why we never hung out. She ended up breaking up with him and we started hanging out again. Then she started ghosting me after she got back together with him against everyone’s advice. I was still going to give her a chance until she finally invited me to hang out again with her and another friend and asked me to take pictures for them at the end of the night. She ended up posting the pictures with no mention of me.
#48 Wonder What She’s Saying
A while back, I asked my mom why she had stopped hanging out with one of her good friends. They’d do coffee dates, my mom would sometimes play bass in her band, their drummer was another family friend. Her reply was, “I realized that every time we hung out, she was complaining about her other friends to me. It made me wonder what she was saying to them about me.”
#49 Core Beliefs
She was my best friend and we used to talk every day and hang out as often as we could. She lived out of state for a while and then moved about an hour from where I lived. Basically, her core beliefs had changed so much and she kept pushing them on me. She’d get angry at me if I didn’t agree with her and preach at me. I had arguments with her about it, telling her to let me live my life and agree to disagree, but she couldn’t let it happen. So, I just stopped answering her texts. She got the hint, left me alone and stopped following me on Instagram.
#50 Ending Your Problems
I made the decision to cut out a very close friend of mine last December. She always had a problem with something and I was more than willing to listen to her. But if I ever had my own issues (depression, anxiety, stress) she would tell me to go vegan and meditate twice a day like she did and it would fix all of my problems. Like, it didn’t fix yours, why would it fix mine?