It's not that difficult to understand the difference between basic human decency and jerk behavior. We have unwritten rules that have been established by society over time to help us make that distinction. They are under constant editing, but for the most part, they are reliable. Here are the telltale signs that someone isn't a good person, according to the internet:
#1 A Fortnite Jerk
Never accepting blame for anything. I knew a guy like that. His name was John. What a jerk John was. Back when Fortnite was still a thing , he would constantly lose his life and blame us for it. It was never his fault. He would randomly jump into a full team while we are still trailing behind trying to catch up. "Guys, I got one, what the heck were you doing???" Well John, if you would have just waited until we got to you before you jumped into them, we could have actually had a shot.
In real life, he would constantly fail all his classes and then blame the teachers. "They are terrible at teaching all they care about is money." Yet, he would never study at home or do homework. I was in the same class as him as a freshman and he would always be on his phone or be watching RuneScape compilations. I could go on but remembering all this is making me physically mad.
#2 Respect My Property
Being disrespectful of people’s personal property in their home. My roommate's sister is like this. We both came home from work and she had re-arranged nearly all of our furniture. My roommate was so embarrassed! Since the nutty sister was leaving the next day, we just looked at each other incredulously and said, "Oh, okay," and then we put it all back the next day after she left. She was not allowed to visit again.
#3 Messy Friends
One time, I invited a bunch of friends over and went to print something out for about a minute. In that time, they had taken all if my dad's Magic: The Gathering cards out without asking. Also, one of them kept taking food and drinks without asking, and he made a massive mess that I had to clean up. I know that a bit is okay, but they did it so much and were confused when I called them out on it.
#4 Self-Proclaimed Empaths
People who describe themselves vocally as "empaths" frequently tend to be narcissists. I used to be "best friends" with a self-proclaimed empath. It’s been a year since we last met—he orbits me on social media and doesn’t respond to my messages anymore. Yeah, he was a narcissist. He no longer responds to my messages, but he’s still acting like we’re best pals on Facebook.
#5 Unfairly Judgmental
Laughing at or making fun of other people's interests and hobbies. I hate this. My favourite thing in the world is watching people’s faces as they explain something they love (for example, my coach at my gym has explained this one thing to me like eight times, but I never stop him because I can see how much he loves coaching). When something makes someone happy, when it makes their whole face light up, it’s wonderful and anyone that tries to extinguish that is a garbage person.
#6 Just Enjoy It
I used to get annoyed when my dad would repeat stories, like "You just told me this last week." Then I learned to just enjoy listening to his stories no matter how many times he told the same one. He loved telling stories, and I realized that seeing him laugh when he repeated the same childhood memories that I heard a thousand times before is what I should be enjoying, not the story itself. It's been almost two years now, and I still wish I could sit down and listen to him tell me that story for the thousand and first time.
#7 Don't Be Rude
It seems to me that those who are critical of others hobbies generally think TV is their own hobby. This is a big one for me. Everyone likes their own stuff. Why do people feel the need to belittle other people’s interests? It doesn’t do anything but make you look like a jerk. I have former friends who did this all the time. They were then perplexed when I stopped calling to hang out.
#8 Invalid Justification
Being a jerk to everyone else, then trying to excuse that behavior by saying "I'm just brutally honest." They're always upset that other people get "triggered" or "offended" by things they say, but then other people turn around and keep saying things that make them get ticked off or angry as if these are completely different flavors of emotional reactions.
#9 Middle School Power Move
Talking badly about mutual friends when they’re not around. If they’ll do that with your other friends, you're dang sure they’re doing it with you too. And being nice when speaking to you on your own but in a group situation they show off and act like a jerk to you. They deliberately build the expectation that they’d have your back around others, then they quickly turn it around and attack some harmless thing you said, as some middle school power move to prove that they aren’t beholden to anyone. I always roll my eyes when adults act that way.
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#10 Mean Girls
There's a difference between venting about things that annoy you but that ultimately doesn't affect your friendship and legit Mean Girls-style gossip about people you pretend to be friends with but don't actually like. Venting is fine, but fake friendships are trash.
#11 Mental Gymnastics
I'm not big on punching up. All it takes is a little mental gymnastics and "up" can be anyone you want. Also, my own bias, but the people I've run into who are constantly talking about "punching up" and "punching down" tend to have really toxic social attitudes that they try to justify by having "correct" opinions. Just really tiring to deal with.
#12 Pure Trash
Littering. I went on a first date with a girl and we just finished playing laser tag. We got blizzards from DQ, and when she was done, she just threw hers out the window. Instant deal breaker. Why do people do this? I just don’t understand. I should've pulled over and kicked her out, but then I'd be no different than her.
#13 Karma Will Come Back
Stealing stuff, lying to people, avoiding your responsibilities and sticking someone else with the bill. Some dude who is always tipsy in his early 40s worked at my job for a few months and he was telling me and my coworkers how he saw this guy's wallet on the ground who was in line in front of him. After realizing it was his, he took it. He bragged about getting $300 because he's a jerk and wouldn't return the guy's wallet.
#14 "It's Just $5"
Never paying debts, even small ones. If you borrow money, even a dollar, with the promise to pay back, do so. The best ones are the ones where you ask for your money back and they’re all, “Dang, seriously? You’re asking me for those $5 back? It’s JUST $5.” Yeah, it is, yet here you were a couple a weeks ago desperately asking for JUST $5.
#15 Sensitive Nilly
Taking any kind of criticism or conflicting opinion as a personal attack. No, battering everyone else’s opinions into the ground and eventually personally attacking others and questioning their intelligence for disagreeing with you isn’t healthy discourse. Or when facts prove you wrong and your rebuttal is “I’m not going to concede my point of view.” Literally impossible to socialize (and be friends) with someone who’s too stubborn to admit they’re wrong sometimes.
#16 A Precursor To Worse Things
Hurting animals. That's a huge red flag. And it also doesn't stop there; households with animal abuse are also linked with domestic, child and other forms of abuse. Somewhat related, I worked on a dairy farm for a while and learned that cows are stubborn and sometimes they won't move without a smack on the butt. My coworkers and I really loved the cows and would only use this method as needed, never in a malicious way... except one guy. He was calm and talkative most of the time, but if something went wrong or slowed us up, a switch turned inside him and a monster emerged.
#17 No Filter
Making fun of other people’s appearances, especially of things that aren’t easily, immediately fixable and cost money to do so (acne, crooked teeth, big noses and such). If you feel it is necessary to point out someone’s physical flaws, or don’t care if it will hurt them, then you suck as a person. I don’t understand why someone would really WANT to have an awkward moment of hurting someone’s feelings like that. Then sometimes they’ll say, “What? I’m just being honest.” Like okay dude, clearly you’re not trying to have any kind of social filter, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay... There’s a lot of things we can say that are honest but still shouldn’t be said without good context.
#18 Words Can Leave Scars
I remember going to an amusement park when I was younger that also had a pool. I had a decent overbite that I was painfully aware and self-conscious of. I was walking around in the water and there was a group of three teenagers. One of them, a boy, said, “Hey, is your name Roger Rabbit?” I said no, and he said, “Are you sure?” I just nodded and continued on. I’m 37 and I still remember that and it still hurts. Words can leave scars.
#19 Bad Looking Out
Not taking personal responsibility for your actions and purposefully withholding important information from someone for your own self preservation or selfish reasons. My "friend" told me that the person I was interested in knew my feelings for him, but conveniently left out the part that he felt the same way about me.
#20 Just Say Sorry
Being too proud to apologize. This is the worst. I have a buddy who never apologizes. I understand if it was an accident and you didn’t mean to spill your drink on me, but at least give a “sorry” instead of just saying “Dude that sucks,” or “Well, I didn’t think it would hit you.”
#21 Not McGrateful
Treating wait staff badly. If they're willing to be rude to someone in public, I can only imagine the kinds of stuff they say in private. Anyone who relies on a service and then demeans those who provide that service are complete garbage. Like, I can understand why you might not see a job at McDonald's as a great career, but if you want to be able to McEat your freaking McNuggets you have to respect the people McProviding them.
#22 The Case Of The Ex
People will always blame everyone else for leaving them. Like “all my exes were crazy” is probably not true, you probably did something to drive them off the edge. Not being introspective enough to realize you’re the root of your problems is probably one.
#23 Put. It. Back.
My first job was in retail, and I used to think the worst bottom of the pile people were the kind of people who would take a bunch of clothes from hangars, try them on, and just leave a heap on the floor in the change room. Or in grocery stores—the people who randomly decide they don’t want that raw steak or gallon of ice cream they picked out so they leave it in some random aisle on some random shelf because they’re too lazy and selfish to put it back.
#24 Pricks On A Power Trip
Those people who throw popcorn onto the floor when they see a movie theatre employee to "give them something to do." And those who do make sure to tell the crew waiting to clean the theatre that they did, and that we should be thankful for it because without them being disgusting jerks we "wouldn't have a job." I actually really enjoyed my job at the theatre—my coworkers were awesome and I got so much exercise running around on busy night. But it felt like at least 30% of our guests were pricks on a power trip one way or another.
#25 A Caffeine Excuse
Being rude because you "haven't had your coffee yet" or some similar excuse. Be an adult like the rest of us and learn to control your emotions regardless of your caffeine intake.
#26 Your Worth, My Worth
People who aren't able to be excited for you when you succeed, no matter how small the success. They always see other people's success as a threat to their own worth. Then, they'll get upset if you don't celebrate for them. I had a best friend in high school (now an ex-bff) who yelled at me that I didn't deserve to get a flute solo in our marching band show because I was drum major. Believe me, I didn't want it or ask for it—I have bad anxiety. Anyway, what makes it worse was that she had a major solo (the whole ballad one year) every single year. She just didn't know how to celebrate anyone but herself.
#27 Exploiting Flaws
When a person thrives and builds a community off of the insecurities of others. (e.g. by picking on somebody and playing it off as a joke continuously, or constantly bringing up how lonely people would be without them). They tend to lack any encouraging words and don't ever say anything complimentary. If I could choose one phrase to describe these people it would be "Not to be rude or anything, but..."
#28 Guilt Trip
Playing the victim when confronted. My friend did this all the freaking time. Needless to say, we’re not really friends anymore, but if you told her that she really hurt your feelings she’d deny everything and walk away. Then she’d come back and try to guilt trip you.
#29 Three Things
If you hurt an animal that wasn't attacking you, you never take responsibility for your own actions, or you cheat on your partner Also, people who "only live in the moment" with absolutely no foresight or care for the consequences of their actions. By the way, eating meat does not fall under hurting animals in this scenario.
#30 The Other Side Of The Counter
Treating any retail staff badly. I've worked in retail virtually all my adult life and because I stand the opposite side at the counter, apparently that means I have to take all sorts of nonsense from the customer. Worst part is, they KNOW this. I own my own business now, so I love it when people are rude because I can tell them to screw off. No business is worth that.
#31 Spreading Germs
Coughing or sneezing without covering your mouth and nose properly. As someone who gets freaking bronchitis every time I get a cold, I hate people who do this and spread their germs. If I could track down who got me sick, I would break into their homes and reverse all their taps so hot was cold and cold was hot.
#32 Cutting In
On the highway, if there is a mile long line of people in the exit lane but the other lanes are moving at highway speed and you zoom all the way up to the last minute and then try to cut in to exit, you are a bad person. Unless you are about to go #2 your pants or have a pregnant lady in your car. Dire emergencies get a pass.
#33 Public Indecency
Encroaching on others' space on the bus or train by sitting with legs wide apart, elbows and forearms well over into the space of the next seat, no awareness of the fact this is making the other person extremely uncomfortable. The other thing they do is clipping their nails. On public transport. That clip clip clip noise makes me feel like I’m going sneeze my soul out of my belly button.
#34 No Good Reasons
Cheating on your partner. If you are not happy, dissatisfied, or upset, don’t go plowing some random girl or guy. Talk to them, try to fix it and if it doesn’t work itself out, go your separate ways. Oh, and “being away from them,” “bumping in to your high school flame who looks even better,” or “I was away on business, had too many margaritas at the wrap up dinner and ended up in the jacuzzi with three other mid-level execs” are not excuses; they’re some of the reasons that one is not a good person.
#35 Hope You Get Caught
Queue jumping. Those people cutting others off the line just because they think they should be first are spawns of the devil. To add to this, people who drive on the shoulder during traffic because they think they are some how above sitting in traffic like everyone else.
#36 Cart Consideration
Not putting the shopping carts in the designated shopping cart locations, and leaving them randomly in the parking lot. Especially in summer, in Phoenix. If you do this, screw you, and you’re mean.
#37 Respect Your Elders
Being disrespectful to anyone, especially elders. There are some extremely care cases where a little sass is sometimes necessary, but I just freaking hate it when people act so rude and disrespectful. Like, come on man. Have some decency.
#38 It Felt Like An Insult
I was at a convention for my job's industry where there are a ton of booths with smaller companies who are pushing their services. Basically you walk up and down and see what kind of companies may help enhance your business. Some regarding shipping, some with online checkout stuff. But the major point of this, besides seeing speakers about different topics, is to mingle with companies and see if anything might work for you.
I knew we weren't looking for anything major when we went but would just collect business cards and company info for what seemed decent and discuss it later.
My boss was leading me and my co-worker as we walked down the first lane. We saw a few things that were neat. At some point we're going and a guy hands a flyer or one-sheet thing about their company. This was common. We take a few steps and my boss just starts crumpling it up and then drops it on the ground.
It was a combination of "Really, dude? You're not going to wait until we at least get around the corner before just throwing that out?" and also "Really, dude? You're just going to drop that on the floor for someone else to come pick up when you could have put it on your pile or tossed it in the can over there?" that made me really dislike my boss. I don't know if he was trying to seem cool or whatever but I felt insulted on behalf of the employee just handing out info at the trade show. It just felt like such a bad person thing to do. I have a pet peeve about people who litter. This was indoors at a convention centre but it still felt like an insult.
#39 She's Trash
Berating employees, wait staff, and customer service reps when you’re out in public or in general. A few years ago my brother had a girlfriend that treated him great, but was a horrifying bitch to waitresses at restaurants, and employees in general. He didn’t think it was a big deal, but I warned him that if she’s treats other people like that, she will eventually treat him like that. Took about a year before he saw it and broke it off.
#40 Blatant Litterbug
I was walking on the sidewalk around my place (area with a few shops etc). and there was a car that just pulled up slightly in front of where I was heading. as I was walking past a middle-aged lady got out of the passenger side of the car, and whilst she did she flicked one of those mint aluminium containers out onto the sidewalk. I was gobsmacked as I don't really see that level of blatant littering much, and by the time I wanted to say something she was across the road. so I went back and put it on the windscreen "ditch" (between the hood and bottom of windscreen). I just don't understand! it's not like it was huge or annoying, it's not like a bin would have been far away. and it was in a public area.
#41 A Game Of Hot Potato
When someone is clearly thinking about what they are going to say next instead of listening to the person talking. Once or twice this is okay, but if it's all the time, then that person is probably very egotistical. If you've been in enough situations where you've frozen up in conversation, talking can seem like a game of Hot Potato. You've got to know exactly what to say and if you hesitate too long, other people will think that's weird and that you don't like them or something. Our culture basically teaches that socializing is easy if we're nice people, so messing it up will insult other people and ruin their evenings.
#42 Clout Chasing
Using your kids talents, skills, or really anything about them as a way to get likes and views, etc. I just found out that my mom did this with me and I know for a fact she is a dirt bag.
#43 Doesn't Matter How Or What
Manipulation, no matter how big. Whether it be lying about helping someone when you're actually hurting them, or confusing someone to the point they only listen to your guidance. Doesn't matter how, doesn't matter what.
#44 “It’s Just Business”
If you have ever uttered “it’s just business” at work, chances are you are a narcissistic jerk no matter where you are.
“What are those papers you’re holding for?”
“It’s just business.”
#45 They're Better, You're Worse
Calling things “cringe” for no reason. Just making fun of people for the things they love that don’t hurt anyone else. You’re not better than them, you’re likely significantly worse.