People Share The Most Hilarious Thing A Completely Random Stranger Has Said To Them
Sometimes, moments with complete strangers can be more impactful than we realize. Strangers can, at times, offer perfect wisdom, give you a hand, or simply add a bit of joy to your day. Memorable strangers are often few and far between, yet those that stick in our heads often have a great story behind them. In the cases of these goofy people, humor is what made them so amusing.
When we’re lucky, a good stranger can make us grin. However, has anyone ever made you bust out laughing? These silly strangers managed to send those surrounding them into chuckles. Their jokes, jabs, and comments were hilarious enough to be memorable for years after each incident. Read on for stories about the most hilarious thing a stranger has ever said to someone else:
#1 What A Performance!
I was in Wendy’s drive-thru one time. An employee exited the building with his headphones on and was singing “Who Let The Dogs Out” at the top of his lungs. He saw me, stopped singing, and started walking away. A few seconds later, he came up to my window and said, “Yes, that is what I’m listening to.” Then he walked away. I laughed so hard at the whole situation.
#2 Guess We’re Going To Heck
Okay, the laughter was not entirely inside, but years ago on the subway in NY, a crazy dude walked on the train and screamed at everyone: “You’re all going to heck!” Then he stepped off as the doors close. Total silence filled the tram as the weirdness of the moment settled in. Then, without missing a beat, a guy across from me said, “Darn, I thought this train was going to Harlem.” The entire subway car of cynical New Yorkers burst out laughing.
#3 It’s A Graveyard In Here
I was at a 50th wedding anniversary party and there were LOTS of elderly people in attendance. An old man was standing next to me and said, “It looks like a graveyard in here.” I literally spit my drink out. The kicker was the guy was close to the same age as everyone else. I can only hope I have the same sense of humor about my age when I get older.
#4 Thanks For The Enthusiasm!
One day, I walked into Walmart and the door greeter, in the most nonchalant, boring voice said, “Welcome to paradise”. It was so very unexpected, and I lost it. I mean, technically the guy was doing his job—no one could criticize his delivery and tell him he needed more emotion in his voice because his monotone voice put smiles on everybody’s faces.
#5 Spoiled Much?
I was at a gas station filling my truck up and overheard a guy yelling at his dog to move over in the car so his wife could get in. It went like this:
Man to dog: “Come on, get in the middle so mommy can get in.”
Dog: *Starts yipping back at him as if she’s arguing.*
Man to dog: “Quit arguing with me, I told you to get in the middle. You don’t always get your way.”
Dog: *Keeps yipping*
Man to dog: “If I have to tell you again, you’re not getting your jerky.” *Holds up a stick of beef jerky.*
Dog: *Still yipping while reluctantly moving to the middle.*
Man to dog: “Okay, promise me no more arguing and you’ll be a good girl.”
Dog: *Hasn’t stopped yipping*
Man: to dog: “Okay, seal it with a kiss”
Dog: *Gives the man a kiss.*
#6 Hey, She’s Not Wrong
I was in the bathroom at work washing my hands and one of the professors who I don’t think I’ve ever actually spoken to came in and started washing her lanyard in the sink. I try to make small talk with work people even though I suck at it, so struck up a conversation that went down as follows:
Coworker: “Ugh… I spilled coffee on my lanyard and now it’s all sticky.”
Me: “Blah… that’s the worst.”
At this point, she turned off the faucet and looked at me completely deadpan with eyes that said she wanted to feed me my own innards. She then said, “I think genocide is worse.”
So I awkwardly mumbled, “Umm…Yeah okay bye, have a nice day,” and quickly escaped.
That moment has turned into a running joke in my office now though. Anything from the printer being out of toner to a fire drill on a cold day is now “literally worse than genocide.”
#7 I Don’t Think That’s How That Works
I was doing tech support over the phone for an internet company at a call center. I got a call from an elderly woman because her internet stopped working. After checking remotely that the modem was working and that there were no issues on her area, she suddenly said:
“Oh, I know what happened. The cat was playing around the router yesterday?”
“Right, you think it took a cable or something?”
“No, he probably took away the Wi-Fi.”
“You mean like he moved the router?”
“No, no, he probably took the airwaves of the Wi-Fi. You know how cats see things we can’t, he surely saw the Wi-Fi signal, grabbed it and took it away.”
It took all my willpower to not laugh in her face and finish the call.
#8 Well Played, Kid
A few months ago, I was waiting at a road crossing with loads of other strangers, waiting for the green light. A little girl on the other side of the road did THE MOST ACCURATE IMPRESSION of the ‘beep beep’ that the crossing makes so blind people know it’s safe to cross, and the entire crowd of people just stepped into the road. I had seen her do it, so I stayed put, but I couldn’t stop laughing. My girlfriend was confused. 50 adults pranked by one absolute genius 6ish-year-old. It was magical.
#9 Well, There Goes His Self-Esteem
I was grocery shopping yesterday. A single mom was there with her two girls, both aged between five and eight. The girls were really enjoying shopping, touching every item, speaking to every employee and customer, and goofing around really hard. Their mom kept telling them to stop and apologized every minute to somebody. I passed by the girls, the older one was pretending to be a witch using a flashlight that was on display, working spells on anyone nearby.
So she put her spell on me, making me a giant. I am nine feet tall weighing 330 pounds. She yelled: “Mom look, it worked! I made him big!” I was already laughing. What really made me die laughing inside, was when mom, ultimately stressed apologized on autopilot, while doing the shopping, looked up and I saw her face, trying to look sincere, while hiding her laughter.
#10 It’s Actually Wednesday
When I was 14 years old, some older high school kid came up to me looking all menacing. He asked, “You know what today is?” in that half-threatening cadence. I quickly answered that I didn’t—it was a regular school day… to which he proudly responded, “IT’S FRESHMEN TUESDAY, where we beat up a freshman.” After processing his response for a few seconds, it didn’t make sense. “But, it’s Wednesday,” I responded. It was. His face was priceless.
#11 Yeah, That’s One Way To Do It
I used to work at a daycare. One time, this random three-year-old started talking about heaven. He wanted to go there so badly. I asked him how he was going to get there and he looked at me, saying with the happiest voice ever: “Well you could die!” It was unexpected, which made it hilarious. Kids really do say the darndest things!
#12 Is It Shrek Or Smurf?
So this guy was talking on his phone and I don’t know why but his face looked so serious. He was almost red as a tomato from the anger. The phone was on loudspeaker mode and he had been arguing about: “That green guy who owned a swamp and has a donkey friend.” The guy on his phone was saying its name was Shrek, while he was saying it was Smerf. They were screaming to each other and people just ignored them.
#13 A Big Tipper
This is a story my dad tells me a lot. He was in New York and a homeless guy asked him for five dollars for a cup of coffee. My dad asks him why he needs five dollars when coffee is just $2, give or take. He replied: “I’m a big tipper.”
#14 Pumpkins Won’t Impress Her, Man
My partner is a horticulture graduate student. He studies squash and melons. We attended the state fair last year and went to the veggie-growing competition. Particularly, we were checking out the biggest pumpkins that year. As we were walking over to the blue ribbon pumpkin, he asked me, “Do you know which state grows the biggest pumpkins?”
“Alaska,” I said. “You told me that last week.” Then a random guy walking by brushed my defeated partner on the shoulder and says, “Dude, it doesn’t work. I stopped trying to impress girls with my pumpkin knowledge years ago.” That was the highlight of an otherwise mediocre state fair. That’s what happens when plants become your entire life.
#15 This Conversation Is Over
I was waiting for the BART train (public transportation in the Bay Area) and some young, cocky-looking guy was yelling at the booth attendant because he missed his train. His first the rant was about the schedule being off, then he went off saying, “Wait until my father hears about this!”He didn’t stop there, though—he turned around and started referring to other passengers as “you people”, blaming them for his inconvenience.
The attendant pulled out a book and started reading. The guy got furious at this and demanded her attention. She loudly retorted: “When this conversation swings back to something germane to our situation then I’ll pay attention”. He yelled and stomped off, while I just stood there with love in my heart for that lady.
#16 Your Pants Are ‘HWAT’
When I was a freshman in college, I had a pair of rainbow bellbottoms that I wore a lot. I was walking through the city back to the dorms when a guy rode up behind me on a bicycle. He was old, had long, scraggly gray hair and a bright red and yellow wind suit on. He rode beside me for a second, stared and then yelled, “Miss your pants are HWAT!” and the rode away into the sunset. It was so random and hilarious. Every time I wore those pants, my friends would run up behind me and yell, “Your pants are HWAT!”
#17 Go Figure!
I was riding the public bus in Vegas about 13 years ago, sitting kind of in the middle. There was this guy sitting kind of in the front having an extremely animated conversation with another guy next to him. The other guy looked like he was barely acknowledging what animated guy is saying. We got to a stop and the animated talker got up, while the other guy stayed put.
It was then that I realize that they weren’t together and that this dude was just talking in a semi-crazy way to some random dude on the bus. But animated talker didn’t want to get off. He wanted the other guy to acknowledge that he was right about something. The other guy was just nodding and trying to get on with his life, but this lunatic just kept yammering away.
There was some audible grumbling from the other riders because the dude was now holding up the bus. He finally goes to get off. Dude makes it almost to the sidewalk when he does an about-face gets back on the bus and yells out “And another thing!”At that second, nearly everyone on the bus yelled at the guy. He obviously wasn’t expecting it as he kind of recoiled and skittered away.
Everyone on the bus, including myself just busted out laughing.
#18 Don’t Stand Near Him
“Every time I stand over the bins of apples in a grocery store I wonder how many people I could hit with a decent throwing arm before somebody stopped me.”
#19 What Did Your Dog Do?
I went out to a local ice cream shop in the evening, which was located around a lot of bars. It was a college town, so there were a few tipsy people around. I brought my dog with me and was walked in the busy building with my dog and asked the ice cream shop employees if I could bring her inside, and they told me that she couldn’t stay. No big deal though; I gave some cash to my friend and they got ice cream for the both of us since I waited outside with my dog.
After enjoying the ice cream and letting my dog lick a little bit for herself, a group of like nine college kids, mostly huge dudes, pretty much burst out of the building being boisterous and loud. They walked down the steps and saw my dog, then looked at me, and one guy who mustered as much coherency and seriousness as he could while being completely tipsy, said: “THERE’S THE DOG THAT STARTED IT ALL. YOUR DOG IS A LEGEND.”
They all erupted, shouting about my dog (I think they were saying they saw her in the building) but I didn’t understand most of what they were saying. After a minute, they went on their merry little tipsy way. I STILL laugh about my dog being a legend.
#20 Sorry About Your Failures, Doctor Banana
At my last retail job, one Halloween, I dressed as a banana. A small child approached me and asked: “Are you a doctor?” I decided to roll with it and said: “No, I failed doctor school and now I work here.” He looked at me so sadly and said: “I’m so sorry Doctor Banana.” So much laughter and squee! It was both one of the funniest and purest encounters I’ve ever had with a stranger.
#21 Ah, The True Test Of Love
I was canoeing with my fiance for the first time and we were having a bit of trouble at first getting a rhythm going. We ended up along the edge of the water hitting the canal. This random couple that was walking along the wall saw us. The guy said to his wife while pointing at us: “Ahh canoeing, the true test of love.” My fiance and I burst into laughter for 20 minutes and then finally got our rhythm together.
#22 A Load Of Barnacles
I was in a large college seminar, so I never knew the people that I was sitting next to. This professor was known for being a bit of a jerk, constantly switching up due dates and tacking on extra work to upcoming exams last minute. The murmurs of disapproval and annoyance from his class always spread through the aisles. The dude next to me leaned into my chair and said: “This is a load of barnacles,” in the same voice as the fish guy from Spongebob. It was just perfect and unexpected.
#23 That’s True Survival Instinct
I was crossing the street once and my sunglasses fell off my shirt directly to the floor. I just realized it happened after I got to the other side of the street and my mom pointed it out. The closest car was pretty far away, but I was still very anxious about it. I ran back to the middle of the street and tried to grab it but I was so nervous it fell out of my hands two times before I finally got it. When the car finally reached us, the driver stopped, rolled down the windows and said: “That’s what I call a survival instinct.”
#24 Wow, Life Just Played You
Years ago, I was at a stop sign. This beautiful woman who was walking her dog caught my eye and distracted me. I pulled out into traffic and almost T-boned this dude. He laid on his horn. I got angry and laid on my horn, even though I 100% knew I was in the wrong. Suddenly, I heard this “Hah Hah! Your fault!” coming from across the street, all Nelson, Simpsons style. I looked over and… yep… it was the beautiful woman walking her dog. I burst out laughing and tried to be a safer driver.
#25 The Ultimate Dad Joke
WhenI was about eight years old (some 40 odd years ago), my mother and I were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, and an older gentleman was ahead of us also waiting. The waitress asked him if he wanted to be seated outside in the sun, and he replied: “No, I may burst into flames later.” Young me laughed all through lunch at that. In fact, it still makes me giggle.
#26 He Really Wants Those Watermelons
I was passing through Norwood Louisiana with a friend at around 2 p.m. in the afternoon. We stopped to gas up and grab some snacks at the most podunk gas station known to man. A young man, extremely agitated, came in with frustrated gestures. He angrily shouted at the cashier with an accent that was beyond the region, beyond stereotypes, and just beyond anything I had heard before: “Where da’ got darned wally-mellyons at!” I died of laughter.
#27 Very Punny, Old Guy
I must’ve been about 10 or 11. I sat down on a bench next to an old guy to sort my shoe out. I took my shoe off and he just turned to me and said, “Are they golfing socks?” I looked at him with a completely blank look on my face thinking, ‘What?’ and as I looked away, he just said: “There’s a hole in one.” Very punny, old guy.
#28 You’re Old As Dirt, Dad
One time a kid said to me, “My dad turned 50 today! That’s older than God!!”
#29 Here’s Your Dr. Pooper
I was at a McDonald’s drive-thru and ordered a McDouble and a large Dr. Pepper. The cashier read my order back and said, “Okay, one McDouble and a large Dr. Pooper.” I was dying laughing and tried to keep a straight face when I pulled up. When she opened the window she said, “Hey, did you hear me say Dr. Pooper?” and I just started laughing uncontrollably.
#30 Well, Your Night Sucks
So last week, I got into a police situation.
Officer: Good evening, where are you coming from?
Me: From a friend’s place.
Officer: Did you drink anything?
Me: No, sir.
Officer: What a boring evening… have a good ride.
#31 Don’t You Know I’m A Chef?
I was in a supermarket in the fruit and veg section. Two women were arguing behind me. One said, “We should get this.” The other responded, “No! We’re getting this one! It’s better, I should know! You know I was a chef! I worked at KFC!” I had to go two aisles over so they didn’t hear me howling with laughter. A KFC chef. I was floored.
#32 Sorry About That, Ground
It was my first day of basic training. All heck had broken loose; it was just screaming and confusion. I had an instructor come up to me with another new kid in tow and yell, “Trainee, do you know where the latrine is?! I want you to escort this trainee to the latrine so he can go sick himself in the proper facilities!” I didn’t know where they were but figured I’d give it my best shot.
So I took the kid outside. I looked over at him and he was greenish, kind of whimper-crying, and hunched over. We took two steps outside and he projectile vomited all over the ground, making a huge mess. I looked up and saw an even bigger, scarier instructor rounding the corner about fifteen feet in front of us. He walked up, looked the kid in the eye, and with an icy hatred, said, “What the heck did you just do to my ground? Do you really hate my ground so much you’d sick yourself on it? I want you to apologize to my ground and then clean yourself up.” I nearly lost it. The kid whimpered out a “Sorry I puked on you, ground” and we were on our way.
#33 What A Great Compliment…
A homeless guy told me I looked like my English bulldog. Now, all the theories about people looking like their pets make sense.
#34 Yeah, I Think It’s Unrelated
I worked at a vitamin shop years ago. A customer came in complaining that one of our new products made her #1 smell funny. I couldn’t keep a straight face when I said I wasn’t sure if that was related. Then she said, “Oh, well it could be something I picked up from somewhere else I guess… Thanks!” As soon as she walked out, I let out a huge belly laugh.
#35 It Was Me!
The movie just ended, and my dad and I joined the mad rush to the bathrooms. The urinals were packed, and when it was our turn, suddenly someone ripped a huge one while we were doing our business. “IT WAS MEEEEE” a dude yelled out loud before running out the door. The whole bathroom erupted in laughter. It was a total guy thing to do.
#36 Kids Say The Darndest Things
Something I overheard as two kids walked past our caravan park site:
*A rumbling boom of distant thunder.*
Kid 1: “I like thunder. It sounds like a 200-year-old dog who’s retired and helps old people who are blind to get around.”
Kid 2: *Silence*
Kid 1: “You know?”
Kid 2: “But why is it retired?”
Kid 1: “Because it’s old.”
Kid 2: “But it’s still helping blind people.”
Kid 1: *Silence*
#37 Give Him Your Fireplace
We were at a festival, sitting around the campfire when a very intoxicated man kept saying, “I need to borrow your fireplace!” He wouldn’t let it go, despite being right by the fire. Turned out he needed a lighter, but he was so loose that he forgot what it was called. My laughter was not internal. I died laughing right in front of him.
#38 It’s A Puppy, Guys
I have a five and a half pound chihuahua. He’s about as intimidating as a bunny rabbit. I was walking him on the grass along the road. A couple of walkers were approaching me and my dog started barking at them, so I picked him up. The guy said, “Thank you for picking him up. We were really scared.” I laughed out loud, but I didn’t know if he was being sarcastic or not.
#39 You’ll Make A Great Dad
I went to Target last week and it was about 8 p.m. The cashier was a nice kid, probably 17 or so. I put my card into the chip reader and it made the usual error. I started mumbling about how my card always did that, etc, and without missing a beat, the guy said, “Yeah, it’s been eating a bunch of chips today. Must be getting full.” He chuckled proudly to himself and I walked out thinking he was too good at dad jokes.
#40 That’s A Blunt Favor
A few years ago, I let my friend cut my hair… it did not go well. I was living in Philadelphia at the time and was walking through South Philly when I passed two strangers in the middle of the conversation. As I passed, one of them said to the other: “Hold up, I gotta talk to this guy.” He shouted at me: “Ayo! Your hair looks horrible. Come over here.”
I was amused, partially because of his bluntness and partially because he wasn’t wrong. I was curious, so I walked over to him. He said: “Look, a buddy of mine owns a barber shop two blocks away. Here’s his business card— I’ll write my name on there and if you mention that I sent you, he’ll give you a good deal. Seriously, take care of that.”
I never ended up going to his friend’s shop, but I frequently use this story as the perfect example of Philly culture: rude, blunt and in your face yet, somehow coming from a place of genuine care.
#41 It’s A Boy!
I used to work at a gym in a small town. One morning, this large man (who obviously worked out a lot) came in and paid to use the gym for the day. He headed right over to the incline leg press, threw on around 150 pounds and started using it. As he was on it, he was grunting and moaning super loud as if he was pushing a lot of weight (150 pounds for a man his size should have been no problem).
This went on for a minute or two and it started to annoy other members. When he finally stopped, he was breathing super loudly and began to strut around like he just broke a world record or something. Then suddenly, one of the other members shouted out: “It’s a boy!!!” and all the other members began to cheer and clap as if the man just gave birth. I just about lost it! I had to dart into the back room so I could laugh my butt off!
#42 Good For You, Man!
I once saw an old man on the street with a big, jack-o-lantren grin on his face and two Chihuahuas under each arm loudly proclaiming to no one in particular: “I used to carry grenades! Now I carry dogs!” I’m guessing the man was a veteran. It was actually kind of heartwarming to hear him say that—you could tell he figured out how to deal with the trauma of war.
#43 Ah, I See What You Did There
Years ago when queuing up for movie tickets with my family, the attendant asked the ages of our four kids to see if they could all get children-priced tickets. I announced their ages as seven, nine, eleven, and thirteen. Without missing a beat, the stranger behind us declared, “That’s an odd group!” It took me a while to get it, but once I did, I was floored.
#44 He’s Sure Enthusiastic
When I was around 10, my dad took my brother and me to a Sox game at Fenway. We got to the park and I was putting mustard on a hotdog from one of those mustard boxes when this random guy next to me said: “YEAH BUDDY, LATHER THAT UP.” Ten-year-old me thought it was about the funniest thing I’d ever heard, and I still chuckle when I think about it as an adult.
#45 And The Pigeon Actually Listened?
I watched a guy walking to class at my college years ago saying, “Get out of my way” to a pigeon standing in his path. The pigeon quickly waddled off to the side. I about died laughing. You could clearly tell that the guy had absolutely no time for games that day; not from a human and definitely not from a pigeon. Why is it so funny when people talk to animals?