July 2, 2020 | Maria Cruz

People Share Something About Them That Sounds Fake But Isn’t

Not everyone out there has an unbelievable story about their lives, but some of us definitely do. Whether it’s mugging back your stolen items or being related to famous football players, these wild tales can take some serious convincing.


#1 Best Man

I was the best man on both sides of a lesbian wedding because I had dated both the bride and the bride. We stayed close friends and I wound up introducing them to each other after our breakups. It was definitely one of the most unique experiences of my life. As for where I stood, I started on one side and they had a point in the middle of the ceremony where I moved to the other side.


#2 Best Birthday Ever

I was at a store when Tony Hawk was signing autographs. I was only 10 and was a huge fan. One of his early video games had just come out. The store had a couple of TVs on the wall and some video games to play. Being a kid, I waited for one controller to open up and for someone to leave. A kid ended up leaving and I grabbed the controller.

I started playing and minding my own business. A couple of minutes later, the store wanted to grab photos of Tony playing his own video game. He came over and grabbed the second controller and began to play multiplayer with me. It probably played for 10 minutes. The bonus was it was also my 10th birthday. So, I played Tony Hawk Pro Skater with Tony Hawk.


#3 Winner, Winner

Back in the day, I wound up on two televised game shows. Crazily enough, I wound up winning on two of them. The first one was a show called The $10,000 Pyramid (where I won $10,300) in 1975. The second show was called Sale of the Centur y (where I was there for nine days and won $34k in cash and prizes) in 1985.


#4 Scared of Cars

I got run over by a car, but the driver didn't see me and proceeded to back over me. My legs are perfectly fine now. It was also terrifying at the time and I was definitely scared of cars afterwards. But if someone were to ask me today if I was feeling any trauma to the moment, then I would say not very much.


#5 Coasting By

At one point in my life, I unfortunately, ran out of gas outside of La Paz Bolivia. I know that sounds bad for some people, but luckily, it was downhill for about six kilometers into the city. I coasted the whole journey on my motorbike, passed a few busses and drifted into a gas station. I never missed a beat!


#6 Constant Headache

I’ve had a headache since August of 2015. That's when I had a craniotomy to remove half a brain tumor. I've had a constant headache, right eye blindness, no feeling, and minor paralysis on the right side of my head. But, if you touch the right side of my head just the right way, even though there is no feeling to the head, it tickles my butt. I don’t know how it works.


#7 Very Dumb Line

I’m related to William Henry Harrison — the president who passed from hypothermia because he wouldn't wear a jacket. My great grandfather and his son both passed away from hypothermia as well, but under slightly different experiences. I have almost passed away from eating way too many vitamins, jumping into a ceiling fan, and jumping from a cliff. My dad almost lit a gas station on fire. Basically, we are a very dumb bloodline starting from William Henry Harrison.


#8 With the Cadavers

When my mom was attending grad school, she attended several labs where she worked with cadavers. Because my dad worked nights, my mom often had to take me to class with her. However, she couldn’t very well stop her work, so she'd usually just plonk me down on the table with the cadaver while she worked on it.


#9 The Crunk Mobile

I was once sponsored by the CRUNK energy drink company for sailing. I imagine I was the only sailor on their list. I literally just emailed them saying that I sailed and asked if they wanted me to put stickers on my boat. They sent me a few cases of the drink, t-shirts, hats, and the works. My car was known as the crunk mobile.


#10 Party Trick

I can't look left. Seriously. I'm not an ambi-looker, it's like the Zoolander of birth defects! It's called Duane's Syndrome and my left eye can't turn left. If I try to look to my left, I see double. Growing up, my parents raised me to believe it was a party trick and not a disability, so I would always show it off to friends. In retrospect, I thought that was pretty sweet.


#11 Missing Effects

I can’t see 3D effects in movies or games. I didn’t know that until a friend showed me his new Nintendo 3DS and I asked him whether this thing was a scam because it didn’t look any different to me than a normal DS. We actually had a fight over this because we both thought the other one was lying to the other.


#12 Accidental Job

Once in college, I applied for a job at the library help desk. I figured I would help people find books and didn’t give it more thought than that. During the interview, I aced all of the customer service questions. Then they asked me whether I knew how to defrag a hard drive. Cue alarm bells in my head, but I kept calm outwardly and said no. I worked in IT for three years by accident. They were too nice to fire me.


#13 Never Got Caught

My great great grandfather was a Pinkerton Detective, acted on Vaudeville, and had five wives in two different states. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that his families didn’t know anything about each other. He also slightly changed his last name each time and never got caught until an ancestry website happened.


#14 Particular Poignancy

I took my mother for a surprise trip to NYC. She got married to my father there in '68. The surprise was manufactured by way of telling her we were going to Australia (we live in New Zealand, so a trip to Australia is not a huge deal) and therefore she packed a bag and brought her passport. We got to the airport and said, "Surprise! We're going to New York!" She cried her eyes out with delight.

When we arrived on our first morning, I said, "Okay, what do you want to do?" She said, "When I was last here, in 1968, the Twin Towers weren't complete, so, I'd like to go to the top of them." "Your wish is my command!" I said and off we went to the WTC. That was the afternoon of September 10th, 2001. Suffice it to say, there was a particular poignancy when we looked out the window at around 8:00 a.m. the next morning.


#15 Holding Cell

Several years ago now, I was arrested and spent three days in a holding cell, all for a crime I didn’t commit. About a year later, the whole matter was done and dusted with and I never had to worry about it. Mind you, I know I said that I didn’t commit the crime. But, I was involved in the story from start to finish.


#16 Not Impressed

One of my dad's friends was in the RAF, but he got bored of it and went AWOL. He joined the French Foreign Legion. However, he got bored of that too, so he went AWOL and went back to the RAF and took his punishment. Later, he and his platoon (including my dad) were going on a skiing training camp in Italy. However, the route took them through France. This is the bit where he informs his platoon leader that they need to do a detour around France because he would be arrested upon entering France. Safe to say his friends were not impressed.


#17 Italy’s Biggest Baby

My grandfather got an award from Mussolini in 1935. He was just born with 6.3kg (13 lbs 14.2 oz) and was awarded the award of "Italy's Biggest Baby." Additionally, my great-grandma also worked as a cleaning lady one day before he was born (he was born December 24th, and she worked until December 23rd of that year).


#18 Young McGuyver

I was shooting some stuff in my village and a bullet ricochet and hit me in the torso. I was afraid my parents would yell at me if they found out (I was young), so I used a knife and tweezers to remove the fragment and a stapler to stitch it up. I then covered the wound and they never found out until a few years later when I told them.


#19 Routine Visit

I once won a $500 raffle during a routine visit to my local tea shop. It was the building's annual Black Friday event and there were five baskets with varying amounts of goods, services, and coupons. I needed tea, so my only stop was the tea shop. It cost me $20 to fill my tins, but they said raffle tickets were given out after a $25 purchase. I got a hot tea for me and the woman in line behind me.

I entered with that one ticket. Then, I got a call a few days later saying I had won the top prize basket. When I went to claim, they asked about my purchases. I told them and they said the drawings had over 1,000 tickets and many people had over a dozen entries. The raffle prize included $25 to the tea shop.


#20 Premature Entrance

I was born 12 weeks early (and was nearly born earlier — my mom had a weak uterus from endo, so they had to push me back and stitch her up). The doctors told my parents to expect me to be unable to breathe or walk on my own. The doctor performing the C-section nearly dropped from surprise at how hard I was screaming and flailing. I do have a few health problems, but it could have been much worse.


#21 Catching Frogs

I lost my heel in a lawnmower accident. I was four at the time and I won’t say who exactly did it. But he was mowing and it was a riding mower. It was the kind with a hitch on the back where you could hook a little trailer. I loved to stand on that part and ride. Well, this time I saw a frog in the grass and I jumped off the mower and onto the grass. I put my hands over the frog to catch it, he didn't realize I had jumped off and he backed up.


#22 Turning Brown

I have phytophotodermatitis. It’s okay if you’ve never heard of that before. It’s basically a big fancy word for saying that I can't get acidic juices (lemons, limes, apples, oranges, etc.) on my skin and go out in the sun. It turns my skin brown like a rash and doesn't hurt or itch, just discoloration. It’s happened three or four times in my life.


#23 You Have Explaining to Do

I found out my "father" wasn't my biological father in 10th-grade biology class. We were learning about blood types and traits. I raised my hand thinking I was a smart Alek, "You're chart isn't accurate, my dad has AB negative and I'm O positive." My teacher said, "I think your mom has some explaining to do!" and we all chuckled. Turned out, he was not my father.


#24 Storm in the Making

My parents almost named me Storm because I was born at 3:00 a.m. in the middle of a massive tornado. One actually touched down a few minutes after I was born. I was also essentially a goner as the doctors thought they were going to lose both me and my mom during the birth. But somehow, I lived through it all.


#25 A Plane Home

My dad kidnapped me and took me to Singapore for very malicious purposes. I was 15 and my dad literally had fake documents and suitcases filled with random clothes. When we got there, we went to a sketchy hotel. After 15 minutes, he went to the bar. A bit after that, some guy just walked in. I was confused, but he began muttering that I was “too pale” and “too old” and he left. I called my dad but he didn't answer, so I climbed out through the window and went to the police. They put me on a plane home that same hour.


#26 Perfect Streak

I've literally never been sick or at least never showed symptoms of being sick. I’ve never had any colds, haven’t had fevers or viruses and not even the flu. I really don't know what it's like to be sick or get sick. If I’m being honest, I hope I never find out what it’s like. It'd sure be ironic if the first time I got sick was now.


#27 Echoing Lives

There's a scientist who passed away on the same day I was born. Her research subject was very, very close to mine. Not just the field, but down to some articles she wrote and some of her side interests. Some tidbits of her personal life also echo some of mine. I only found out after I graduated and now I low-key feel like reincarnation might be a thing.


#28 Hey, Stop That

My ex and I were having a huge argument in a hotel parking lot. My friend and ex’s dad were there as witnesses. Two big buses pulled up and Justin Bieber got off one of them with a security guard and walked right past us. I was crying and my ex was yelling at me. JB said, and I quote, "Hey, stop that." My ex yelled back at him, "White people shouldn't have dreads!" Justin just got onto the other bus with his guard. My friend was cracking up saying, "Was that Justin Bieber?" and sure enough, some people in his entourage or whatever were staying at that hotel. He was in town that night for a concert.


#29 Serving the People

I can smell some illnesses and chronic symptoms. My sense of smell is normally pretty average, but I can sometimes smell if a person is sick before they start showing symptoms. I’ve also been able to identify and predict two seizures, a diabetic blood sugar drop, and multiple chronic migraines before they happened.


#30 Long-Term Investments

My great grandfather worked in the textile business and started importing rayon fabric from Japan in the late 60s and 70s. Keep in mind, this was during the early days of synthetic fabrics and travelling to Japan was not all that common. On a business trip, he met some Japanese businessmen who were selling newly designed transistor radios.

His contacts wanted to set up an exclusive import agreement for their electronics to North America, but my great grandfather declined because how many of these radios could you possibly sell? Turns out that was a short-sighted business decision because that company was called Sony Electronics. He turned down the exclusive import contract for Sony.

On the other side of my family, my Canadian relatives walked away from 100 acres of land in Alberta during the dust bowl and great depression. They decided it was not worth paying the taxes on their land. Turns out that land was right in the heart of the Alberta oil deposits. Also, on my mother's side of the family, they used to have a citrus orchard near Los Angeles. They sold it cheap to some land developers. That farm was right at Hollywood and Vine. My family on both sides is bad at seeing long-term investments.


#31 Beating the System

I never graduated high school, but I have a bachelor's degree. I was homeschooled and my mom never went through the legal steps to actually get me a real diploma, so she made one in photoshop that was then used to get me into this podunk community college that didn't verify it. From there, I got my associate's degree, which I then used to get into a decent university where I got my bachelor's.


#32 Taking it Home

I once won an expensive blanket in a raffle at work. The raffle was for charity and they bugged me to enter, so I bought a one-dollar ticket while all the older work ladies bought five or ten because they really wanted the blanket. I was the only person at the department store who only bought one ticket. (This was in the early 90s and I was only making $4.10 an hour 20 to 25 hours a week.)

On the day of the drawing, I sat in the break room and as I passed by the blanket. I thought, "I better not forget to take that home tonight.” I snorted in disbelief at the silly thought and went off to do work. A couple of hours later, I was informed that I had won the blanket and yes, I was freaked out and yes, I remembered to take it home.


#33 Bless You

I sneeze when I think about spending the night with someone. It happens to me every single time. My wife likes to give me heck if I just sneeze innocently. She thinks she's a riot. A lot of other people experience it, so if you sneeze because of relations, don't worry. You're still a freak, but you're not alone.


#34 Red Gatorade

I can't drink red Gatorade. This isn't super uncommon, but the red dye makes me nauseous and freak out. The funny thing is, I used to drink it all the time without a problem. But one year, I started feeling weird and sick all the time and I stopped. It definitely helped and I don't drink it. I tried it again a little while ago. Still nope.


#35 That’s My Car

The Volkswagen Beetle on the cover of Abbey Road by The Beatles belonged to my grandfather. We’re not 100% sure that it was actually his, but he was in London when they were doing the photo shoot. He had that exact car in that exact color and it had a few other telltale markings. He also claims that that is where he parked on that day.


#36 Circling the City

I repelled off The C.N. Tower in Toronto, Canada to paint the top white. We were anchored at the very very top. When you went down a bit and had enough rope above you, you could kick out, seeing right out into the open air above the city. If you kicked out at an angle when you came swinging back to miss the tower and end up circling it, you'd unwind and circle back the other way. It was like flying 1800 feet above the city. I miss that job.


#37 Weekend Party

When I was a young adult, I was jumped by a group of guys while attending a party weekend at a lake. I was roughed up pretty good, but with the help of a bottle I found while getting stomped on the ground, I managed to turn the tables and deal out a fight of my own. I saw my attackers in the light of the next day and a couple of them were looking pretty rough. I also later found out that one of my attackers was a 30-year-old male who had to get wedding pictures with stitches and bruises on his face.


#38 Proved Him Wrong

My husband (I’m 30), has been my best friend since I was seven. He was the new kid at school and I walked up to him and said, “We are going to be best friends.” He said, “No we aren’t. Leave me alone.” I bugged him every day for two weeks before he finally said, “If I’ll be your friend, will you shut up about it?” We were married 20 years later. Proved him wrong.


#39 Nose on Overdrive

I have an almost supernatural level sense of smell when it comes to food. I would spontaneously say, "I smell who's eating [insert food name here]. I would be correct, even if the scent was barely in the air or was in another room. But surprise, I just really have an oversensitive olfactory organ, so much so that it's literally like a canine sense of smell. That also means any kind of really strong smell like smoke, paint fumes, perfume or powder easily overpowers me to the point of gagging.


#40 Wrong Side of the River

I grew up "on the wrong side of the river.” I was considered by all to be the town loser and went to work as a janitor while still in high school. Then, in my 40s, I set a goal for myself (while still working full-time) to take one class at a time until I either graduated or passed away, whichever came first. At age 49, I finished my Bachelor's of Science Degree, at age 52 my MBA, and age 61 my Ph.D. Never let the arrogant elitists define who you are or what you can be!


#41 It’s Rocket Science

I was a rocket scientist and I worked on the 114-AGM. The science was “verifying” rocket bodies. The backbone of science is to repeat experiments. My job was to make sure we were going to get the same result every time. But people call me a liar all the time because the idea of a “rocket scientist” is Von Bruan.


#42 Pet Crow

I worked during the summer at some kind of summer camp for people from Eastern Europe. One of my colleagues, the cook, found a wounded crow, healed it and then trained it. The bird would sit on her shoulder when she was cooking, would come to her on command and would share cigarettes with her (also while cooking).


#43 In the Dark

Nobody knows why I'm half blind - not even WHO. I went blind in my left eye when I was seven — my optic nerve atrophied. There’s no explanation as to why. I have had everything tested and my body is (was at the time) completely normal. I've had plenty of tests, met far too many experts and had far too many tests. The answer is it just happened, we guess.


#44 Mugging the Muggers

One time, I was mugged in Belgium and I mugged the muggers back. I even got my wallet and my friend's purse back from those guys. I'm a pretty quiet, low key kind of guy, so no one believed the story. To add insult to injury, it's so disappointing because I'm pretty sure that I'll never be that awesome again.


#45 Seeing Purple

I have orgasm synesthesia! Whenever I reach that point, I see purple. Sometimes it's like a field of purple flowers or a whole bunch of grapevines or something, but it's always this lovely purple image. Except the one time it was Barney the dinosaur. Sometimes it's just a full picture of just a lovely lavender color, like my brain blanks on lavender.


#46 NFL Player

I am related to an NFL player and you would never know it. He’s 6’8, 265 and black; I’m 6’, 195 and white. We’re second cousins through his mom (a 5’ 2 Irish woman) and grew up together very close. We also still stay in touch with each other. I get to see him a couple of times a year and we pick up like nothing has changed.

Out of all the cousins, I think he spoils me because I’ve never once asked him for anything and always turn down gifts because, as I keep telling him, it’s awesome enough to see what he’s become for himself. It’s also a gift enough that we’re still as close as we are. It upsets me when the family shamelessly asks him for money. Like, it’s not yours, it’s his and he earned it.


#47 Fat and Stupid

My maternal ancestors were assumed to be French, coming across with William the Conqueror. However, they've been found to be Norsemen, who came through England and into France to fight Charles the Fat. They then went back and fought Charles the Stupid. William granted them land for their loyalty. I just think it's amusing my family made their name by fighting against fat and stupid.


#48 Recall the Music

I cannot see images in my mind’s eye when I imagine something. It’s called Aphantasia and it’s a relatively new concept that’s still currently being researched, I believe. If you were to tell me to close my eyes and imagine an apple, I do not “see” the apple. I see black. I know what an apple looks like through memory and I can describe an apple, but I cannot “see” it in my mind. Almost all of my imagination consists of conversations, verbal remarks, and music. If someone asks me to recount a memory of a concert, for instance, I don’t see the stage or how it was set up, but I instantly recall the music.


#49 Catching Up

When I was in primary school, I was one of the smartest kids in school. I got straight As on every test, could do math without needing a pen and paper, and had an IQ of 150 with potential to reach 170 as I got older. Because of this, I always ended up going on special field trips and doing advanced classes and tests.

I was also getting letters from around the world. I would get letters from special camps, colleges, and even some universities. One letter was from DC. They were picking gifted children to meet the president. I was one of the ones picked. Of course, I never got to go. My family was very poor and my stepfather was the worst.

One of the reasons that this is unbelievable is that I'm not smart anymore. Even after getting away from my stepfather, I still dealt with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and dark thoughts. I fell behind in school and my grades suffered. Then my mom's health got worse and I dropped out of school to get a job. Now I'm 20 and am just now overcoming my mental problems and am working towards getting my GED.


#50 The Kitchen Sink

My nose is crooked because my mother hit me with the kitchen sink. When I was 11, I was leaning into the sink to clean a bowl and my mother swiveled the faucet thinking it would swing right in front of me. But, I was in the perfect position for it to hit me directly across the nose. It broke pretty clean but healed crooked on my face. It isn’t at a crazy angle and I can breathe and use it (mostly) normally. But, after folks look at my face long enough, they always notice “something’s not quite right.”




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