Life can be pretty hard sometimes, and we always try to compromise and make things easier for ourselves, so we can live as happy as we think we can.
Sometimes though when we're compromising, we ignore some obvious things in life. When those things come back at us, it can be pretty hard to accept those things.
The Internet doesn't let us forget though, and has brought us some words of wisdom, and brings us pills in life that are hard to swallow. Read on to see them and make sure to have some water ready before swallowing.
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Stuff just happens, no matter how prepared you are.
Unexpected breakups, unexpected death, unexpected injuries, unexpected job changes.
In life, you can only control what you can. Everything else will happen however it will happen.
It takes two people working all the time to make a relationship work, but only one to decide it's over and then it is just done at that very moment.
You can't make someone love you.
Admitting you're wrong is a huge pill for a lot of people to swallow, they would much rather blame others or make excuses rather than admit fault and take responsibility.
Very, very rarely does anyone actually care about you as much as you care about you. You are a side character to everyone else. Often not even an interesting one.
This one actually has a positive side though: You get to stop being so self-conscious. Your coworkers are not going home to their families talking about how this loser at work wore the same shirt twice this week.
Some people will not like you. No matter how much you may want to be friends, you cannot "make" someone like you back.
"A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion why the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so."
Some people are just scorpions.
You don’t get to decide that you aren’t a jerk. Sometimes you do things that hurts people you care about even when you have good intentions.
Similarly, behaviors that kept you safe in an abusive situation are often harmful and can destroy your healthy relationships.
You are judged immediately on your gender, appearance, dress, voice, height, fitness, race, socioeconomic status...
Some of those things you can control to your benefit. Mostly you cannot. And there is nothing you can do about it.
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If someone can find a way to pay you less than you're worth, they will. And there will be times when you have to accept that because you need the money. And sometimes those "times" will be years and years.
Life can be unfair sometimes.
You can be a good person and still get unlucky. You can work your behind off and still be struggling, yet some jerk gets everything handed to them. You can do everything right and your life can (and will) fall apart.
But as true as it is, if someone is going through a hard time, don’t ever tell them “nobody said life is fair.” That’s one of the most irritating things I can think of.
Lou Bloom in Nightcrawler is the perfect example. He read all those self-help books and knows his armchair psychology yet he's a little off and comes across as creepy.
So you can do all the right stuff like calling people by their first name yet that tactic can give you a used car salesman aura if you're missing that magical 'It' factor. Same with the asking questions technique; it can sound like an interrogation. Or eye contact. Where's the line between attention and staring problem?
Oftentimes, who you know is as important or even more important than what you know.
As a sheltered kid who was taught to focus on academics solely, this was a very rude awakening.
Every single relationship you have, with any person, is either going to end with one of you leaving or one of you dying. Enjoy it while you can.
Your parents are mortal, limited and flawed humans who were not prepared to raise you and made most of it up as they went along, terrified that they were doing the wrong thing and hoping just to make it through the day. Just like pretty much everyone.
The best part of your life might very well be already over. Whether that means adventure, free time, health, fitness, romance, lack of stress, whatever. I’m 33 with 3 kids... and don’t get me wrong, I plan on still having a heck of a great life but... when I look back at 22... yeah there’s no getting that lifestyle back.
When your friend—especially your best friend—gets into a relationship, they SO will replace you. At best, your friend will make an effort not to let you notice, but you will notice. You'll notice in the way they're just going through the motions when they tell you about their day because the weight that talking to you lifts off their shoulders is inconsequential by comparison. You'll notice in the way that you're the first person they want to tell about new and exciting experiences instead of the one with whom they make those experiences.
If you aren't trying to marry someone, you're ultimately vying for second place in their life at best, and the only way you can remain each other's best friends for life is in the absence of real contenders for first.
You never really understand anyone else's issues, and they never really understand yours. Even when you think you get it because you went through something similar, you don't. Every time you share your problems with someone (and vice versa), they will give you their take and advice, and it will never adequately address the problem.
It will only serve to frustrate. The only thing you can do is give unconditional support. That whole thing about women not wanting advice, just a hug? Ya, that's just because you can't give advice. If you could magically fix their problems in a sentence, they would be thrilled.
That way you feel on an off-day, healthwise? That's the way you will dream of feeling in 10-15 years, and this cycle is only going to continue.
Doctors can fix a lot less than most people think. If you get certain diseases it's still forever. Some people get several of these. I'm one of those people.
Genetics dictate a huge aspect of our lives, more than most people want to admit. People have no problem admitting that certain athletes are elite in their sports because of their phenotypes (LeBron James, Michael Phelps), but then refuse to admit that the same principles apply in everyday life as well.
You can always try harder, work smarter, and strive to be a better version of yourself, but many people's "best" is still subpar when compared to others who have more favorable/desirable genes.
You can change your life at any time. You can (within reason) do whatever you want and be whoever it is you want to be. It sounds like something people just say but you actually can. I could get in my car and drive away and never come back. I could go out and talk to random people on the street and ask them silly questions. I could make some crazy plans I've always wanted to make and actually do them. (I mean, I'm an anxious mess so I FEEL like I can't but... it's technically possible. For me, or anyone.)
We could all do things that feel impossible but actually aren't. It's kind of bizarre to realize we're the only ones holding ourselves back. That we've literally just constructed a reality where there are limits to things we can do, only because we say so. I'm not saying there aren't any limits but a great deal of them are just things we've told ourselves. I've been telling myself heaps of these lies and hope someday I can train myself out of them.
It doesn’t make sense. There’s no pre-determined path to walk down. There’s no official guide on how to live your life. The universe just keeps on existing with no regard for you. Stuff just happens.
It’s especially jarring because back in school, it wasn’t really like that. There was a clear path: do good enough in school to make it to the next grade. But after that, it’s up to you to forge your own path. And who can really say what’s going to happen on your journey or where it’s going to take you?
People say you are dying from the moment you’re born. Not true - you’re growing until around the age of 27 (quite literally, new functional tissue). But from then on this growth stops, and your body then maintains and repairs what is already made.
Of course with each repair and as new cells replace the old, the damage is incurred in every system.
So from age 27 you’re basically in decline and dying. Every day you wake up you’re just a little more dead.
On the bright side, you accumulate experience and necessarily become more specialized in the things you do. But the trade-off here again is the older you get and the more specialized you become the less able you are to become fast specialized in anything else. You’re constantly trading your finite resource of potential for specialization.
Back to the dark side - if you’re wasting your life doing menial unskilled work, you’re wasting your potential to become specialized in something that isn’t of any particular value, and in a lot of cases likely specialized in a task that a computer or a machine might replace in your lifetime. When it does, your potential to specialize in something else will be all but gone, and even if it’s not, employers won’t waste their time on a slow learner like you - they’ll give it to the huge pool of ever growing young talent that are desperate for employment.
Moral here? Make use of the potential youth gives you. It’s less every day and one day it’ll be all but gone and you’ll be old and will have wasted your life.
That some things in life are suddenly just too late.
Try finding a partner to start a family with at 25-30, easy as pie, might even be too early. Try again at 35-40, desperation sets in and you might get lucky and find another with the same problem. Try at 40 and it's a good night, the train has left the building. It goes for both genders.
And then add the mounting mountain of regret of not having compromised one's life and career earlier to get those dang kids and then fight a lot harder life for 10 years instead. And then be a lot happier that at least you experienced that part of life.
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