People Share A Ridiculous Load Of Nonsense They’ve Been Told

We’ve all had to deal with hardheaded people before—you know, the type to always assume they’re right as long as they state their opinions loudly enough. Sometimes, their logic and reasoning for certain actions or statements are so ridiculous you just can’t help but call them out on their nonsense. It’s even worse when they try to make themselves seem like an expert in a particular topic, not knowing that you have the real facts all along. People from around the world took to the internet to share the biggest load of nonsense they’ve ever been told, and their stories definitely do not disappoint. These tales will make you shake your head and think, “Do people like this really exist?”

Don’t forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!

#1 A Snoopy Mother

“I opened your mail by mistake.”  After waiting weeks for a letter from my preferred college to see if I got in, I came home to it sitting on the table clearly tore open. My mom blamed the mailman and then tried to throw me off by telling me I’m not college material and not to get my hopes up but she will always believe in me and maybe I have a chance. I got accepted but reading that letter after knowing she had already opened it was the worse feeling.

#2 Forever On Hold

“Your call is important to us and we will be with you shortly.” If my call is so dang important, hire more staff to answer the phones. I hate this one both as an employee and a customer. I always liked it when I called the unemployment office and had to wait an hour on hold. If only there were some sort of way to find people who don’t have jobs and get them to answer phones…

#3 Not A Good Deal

“I won’t get mad if you tell the truth.” Parents make this mistake pretty often, I’ve noticed. Being honest about your wrongdoings should not relieve you of the consequences… rather, lying just makes it worse. Parents, however, phrase it as though everything is fine and you didn’t do anything wrong as long as you tell the truth about it, which doesn’t really teach a good lesson and makes them look like hypocrites when they understandably punish you for doing something wrong.

#4 A Bad Liar

My sister-in-law was supposed to bring her kids for Christmas dinner. I wasn’t planning on making a huge meal until my mother in law asked if they could all come. So I dropped a ton of money at the store and spent all day cooking. When my husband’s sister was late, his mom called her. She claimed it was snowing with freezing rain and didn’t want to drive in the bad weather.

We lived an hour away and it was unusually warm for December… about 56°F. I checked the weather app and yep, it was56°F there, too. His mom said,”Well, sometimes the app is wrong,” so I called my brother, who lives in the same city as the sister. Yep… it was 56°F and sunny… a beautiful day. If you’re going to lie to me, at least make it believable. Diarrhea, the flu, car trouble…etc. Nope. She lied about the weather.

#5 Those Pesky Ants

“Ignore the carpenter ants in your house. They’ll eventually die off on their own without the need to pay for an exterminator.” And they will. Some years after your house collapses into a pile of rubble, they will move out for a more suitable habitat. I just wish they had made that point clear when we were actually faced with the situation.

#6 The Next Closest Thing

“This is your wish list. Put down all of the bases you would like to be stationed at and we’ll get you stationed at one that has an opening.” I put down every base east of the Mississippi River and every base in Europe, so they compromised and gave me the next closest thing… Freaking Clovis, New Mexico. That was a lovely surprise.

#7 Greedy Corporations

“There is no money in the budget for raises this year.” I got that one year at my old job. The company then split $35 million in bonuses to upper management. They could have given everybody 10% and still split $33 million, but no… there was no money in the budget for raises. I don’t know why I still put up with this company, to be honest.

#8 No More Favors

My ex-wife who had left me some years earlier called me and said how much she would like to see me again and how I was the only man she really loved. Turned out, she was going to be evicted soon and wanted me to rescue her. I told her nope—she was a terrible person and I made sure to remove all contact with her from that moment forward.

#9 Dust Tornado

I didn’t have my own PlayStation memory card and a friend let me save a file on his. When he came over a week later, it was deleted but he still had lots of space on the card. I asked him why he deleted it. He said on his way over that a HUGE dust tornado came out of nowhere and got dust all in the memory card. He tried to protect the opening with his hand but there was just so much dust and it must have gotten in there. I saved up for like, a month and bought my own.

#10 Big Fat Lie

“You’ll receive your full deposit back when you move out if there aren’t any damages.” I had two apartments try that on me. I documented everything, taking note of the condition before and after. Each time, I had to contact them twice to get a full refund. Only once did I have to cite the relevant regulations and casually mention that I was aware of fair housing regulations and the State Attorney General’s proclivity for enforcing said regulations. You just have to persuade them it’ll be cheaper for them to give you the money back than every other option.

#11 Cherry Pits

When I was five years old, my mom told a cherry tree would grow inside me if I swallowed a cherry pit. That backfired immensely because the five-year-old me was fascinated at the prospect of a cherry tree growing in my stomach, so I started swallowing all the cherry pits I ate. When my mom saw that there were no cherry pits in the bowl, she asked me where they were, and I proudly told her that I was trying to grow a tree in my stomach. She got really nervous, told me that she just made that up to scare me into not swallowing them.

#12 Shopping Woes

“We’re only going to one store.”  I was out shopping with my mother and she ran into one of her high school friends. I knew that song and dance so I just left and went to three other stores. I never got a call or anything. When I came back, she was still talking to her friend and didn’t even notice I had left. I hated shopping as a child and even now I spend as little time as possible shopping.

#13 I’m Not Stupid

To this day, my ex insists that she wasn’t cheating. She was lying to me about where she was, saying that she was out with friends when she was really out with him. I worked midnights, so she spent most of her time with him while I was asleep and got back before I woke up. They’d wait until his wife went to work (just after I went to sleep for the day).

She started pulling away from me emotionally and physically. I eventually caught them out together when she told me she was somewhere else. When I confronted her with all of this, she insisted that she wasn’t cheating on me. But she also didn’t want me anymore, after seven years of being together. Uh, huh. Sure. You totally weren’t cheating and coincidentally are leaving me immediately for the guy who you secretly have been meeting but aren’t cheating on me with.

#14 Nice Try

I got a new job a few months back. It offered better pay, better benefits and the office was near my home. My job at the time was run by absolute garbage management. I hated it. I had been job searching for months without letting my boss know and when I finally got a new job, I sat down to tell her. She was professional about it at first, but then she lectured me about how it’s really a common courtesy to tell your boss that you’re job hunting.

If I had told her, she would have started looking for reasons to fire me and I would have screwed. I did so much research on whether to tell her and even talked to several family members. They all said the same thing: “You have no obligation to do so.” My boss did so much stuff like that because she thought since I was young, I’d automatically listen to her. Thank God I was living with my future mother-in-law who always set me straight.

#15 She Knew All Along

They told me my grandma was going to recover. They said it wasn’t a big deal and to not take off work since I’d be driving two states away for nothing. My mother, the registered nurse, told me this. She freaking knew. My grandma passed away the next day, and I didn’t get to say goodbye to the woman who helped raise me. She was the kindest woman I’ve ever known. My mom later told me she’d asked for me right before she passed.

#16 Pushing STEM

“Go on STEM to get a job.” I’m a student in biology specialized in neuroscience. I LOVE my field, really. I don’t regret going into it—it’s amazing and I love learning new things about it every day. But jobs in neuroscience are freaking awful to get. It’s super hardcore. A bachelor’s degree is nothing in the field; you need a master’s degree to get at least taken seriously and most people do a Ph.D. after. The good thing is that once you land a job in a lab as a research director or whatever, it’s pretty much job security for life. Even if your lab closes, they relocate you to another lab and therefore you never really lose your job.

#17 Veganism And Yogurt

When I was explaining something about diabetes, a person responded by asking me if I knew that insulin medication was an artificial hormone that contained “chemicals” and that I should stop taking my insulin shots. Instead, the person recommended that I treat my type 1 diabetes by changing to a vegan diet. Bonus points to the guy who was adamant that I could cure my Aspergers with yogurt.

#18 Blame It On GoldenEye

“Video games are causing violence because it desensitizes you to it.” No, growing up does, mom. I still remember my mom catching me playing GoldenEye when I was eight years old and her wagging her finger in my face. She yelled, “When you end somebody and they ask you why you did it, I want you to tell them it’s because your father let you play GoldenEye!”

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#19 “Winners Never Quit”

“Winners never quit.” Someone told me that I was aching to leave a job due to a toxic work environment. Winners won’t stay winners for long if they have a mental breakdown from stress and anxiety. Just remember George Washington lost most of his battles. Often times, “winning” is really just learning how to fail better.

#20 Robot Pitcher

My wife and I were shopping for a used car. The saleswoman said, “This car is very clean. The previous owners didn’t have pets.” On the back of the car was the dusty outline of a dog bone magnet. More importantly, we took our dog with us car shopping. WE LOVE DOGS. Why lie? It was obvious she had done absolutely NOTHING in her head to establish rapport with us, and that those words were just part of her effortless robot-pitch to impress customers.

#21 Just A Folktale

A few years ago, I was watching a video about inventions that were accidentally invented (I think it was “Be Amazed” or something). It mentioned how tea was an accidental invention that happened when a tea leaf flew into someone’s glass of warm water. They sipped the drink and ended up fine. I believed this for years until I looked on Wikipedia and it said that tea came around as medicine and was not accidentally invented nor discovered.

#22 The Worst Case

She said the baby was mine when it wasn’t. But it’s not like that made me love him any less. I raised that little boy like my son, like my blood, and I have never loved anything more than him. And she took him away from me because she couldn’t deal with the guilt when I found out. Not to absolve myself of blame, I did a lot of really stupid things. But that’s my freaking child whether a DNA test says so or not.

#23 Biochemistry Myth

Someone told me that blood is actually blue on the inside. It only turns red when it oxidizes in the air. And yes. I am now aware that the whole point of blood is to transport oxygen. I now have a bachelor’s in biochemistry to add to the irony. Pun intended.

#24 EA, Why Even Try?

“The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heroes.

As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Open Beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we’re looking at average per-player credit earn rates on a daily basis, and we’ll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay.

Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.”

#25 “Crentist”

One of my best salesmen met with corporate behind my back about stealing my job. Corporate called and told me about it. I called him on it, and he told me he was at the dentist’s office. I asked him what his dentist’s name was and he told me it was Crentist.

#26 Not Falling For That One

“Giving 100% at work will get your pay raised.” Bullhonkey. I’ve been doing exactly that for three years and the only reason I got a raise is that I asked. Also, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Hand in hand with, “You can do anything and be successful.” More bull. My passion is art, photography, and making stuffed animals but people who aren’t furries or kinksters don’t want to pay for any of it.

#27 Hardheaded Debater

I got into an argument with a buddy of mine who told me (about nine years ago now) that we only had eight years of fossil fuels left. Say what? If we literally had eight years of fossil fuels left, not only would gas be more than the $2 it was at the time, but we would be in freaking crisis mode. We stopped hanging out for many reasons but we definitely drifted apart because he wouldn’t back down from dumb stuff like that. The dude always had to be right.

#28 Eye Color Theory

My aunt who is super into essential oils and natural forms of healing once told me that my brown eyes aren’t my natural eye color. She said they are “the color of my waste” because my body is so full of toxins.  I wonder if she’d understand how dominant (brown eyes) and recessive (blue eyes) genes work? Or maybe, just maybe, she can take those oils and shove ’em where the sun don’t shine.

#29 How Breakups Work

The whole “even if we break up we’ll still be friends” thing just doesn’t work. Either you’re gonna date for a short amount of time and break up because it’s a subpar relationship (at which point you won’t find that person appealing at all and won’t stay in touch with them), or you’re gonna date for a long time, become very close but then ultimately break up for some reason and it’ll be too painful for one of or both of you to be even remotely close with that person anymore.

#30 Waiting…

“Due to an unusually high call volume, wait times are longer than expected. Your call is very important to us. Please hold for the next available operator.” This is the most ubiquitous line of bull, alongside: “I have read and understood the Terms of Use.”

#31 Drink Your Water

I was taking a hardcore physical education class and after our three-mile jog break, we went to get water. My friend didn’t bring water and it was almost 100°F that morning so I offered him water from my jug. He told me, “No thanks I don’t drink water. You also shouldn’t drink so much water otherwise your body gets used to it and you get more thirsty. Think about it.” I’m not a scientist but I think his acne-scarred face meant he’d been on a water diet for a while.

#32 Your Honesty, Our Leverage

“Be completely honest in your exit interview. It won’t affect your reference in any way.” Exit interviews are such nonsense… What do you think you’re going to learn on someone’s way out that wouldn’t serve you and everyone else better if you knew immediately? Also, most people are just going to give “it was great” answers.

#33 Sure, Blame Obama

At a prior job, I was told we would no longer be paid time and a half because of new Obamacare laws… I proceeded to ask how in the world healthcare regulates employment law, only to receive a completely dumbfounded look from my boss… I can happily say I found another job. Sure, blame everything on the one president who actually cared.

#34 Three Strikes, You’re Out

Just a few weeks ago, some dude at work was talking about doing some welding using lightning back when he used to chase storms in Tennessee. After he said he did that, he continued with: “…and that was the third time I got hit by lightning.” I didn’t know what to say or think. I was just flabbergasted. I didn’t believe a word out of his mouth after that.

#35 Classic Wasabi Prank

I was at a sushi restaurant for the first time with a late friend of mine who was treating me to dinner. I asked what the squishy bright green stuff was. He said it was a sweet, minty condiment so I put the whole thing in my mouth. He and the Japanese guy sitting beside us laughed their heads off as my sinuses entered low Earth orbit from eating the big gob of hot wasabi.

#36 The Nursing Cycle

We can’t afford new staff because of the budget. Meanwhile, my confused patients end up with no sitter to keep them safe so we end up paying extra for the treatment after the eventual fall and get blamed for not being in two places at once. Our patient satisfaction scores go down, our evaluations end up being terrible, and we all end up looking for other places to work eventually which begins the cycle anew with a new grad higher to take the blame. (I’m a nurse).

#37 Fair Play

“All union members are lazy and just want more money to not have to work.” Source: I am a union member. Everyone I know loves the work we do and just wants to not be taken advantage of.

#38 Selfish Intent

The owner of the business I worked for said, “We are a small business, we just can’t afford to offer health insurance of any type to our employees!” Yeah, I was the bookkeeper, but his wife also had access to Quickbooks. She cut him over $200k in bonuses in less than three months, then tried to hide it by fudging some check numbers.

If you don’t want to offer insurance, or even pay for a portion of the employees’ insurance, then I guess don’t. But don’t try to say you can’t afford it and then cut yourself bonus checks that add up to over twice what houses go for in the area.

#39 Because I Said So

The response I always heard as a kid was “because I said so” which is just a jerk thing to say and an overall terrible thing to teach your kids. That’s teaching kids that people higher up than you don’t have to reason with you and they expect you to just follow orders blindly.

#40 Two Conditions

“Wake up and go to church or else God will punish you.” Considering how hard it was to fall asleep on those pews, and how my parents always woke me up if I did manage to fall asleep, it really felt like: “Wake up and go to church and God will punish you.” That sounds more accurate.

#41 The Future Of Humanity

I used to live in a town that had two libraries: one nice one, and one that attracted a lot of creepy people. On one of the rare occasions, I did go to the second one, I overheard two men discussing our planet’s future. Apparently, the US government has built vast underground cities for all the world leaders and billionaires, and the chemtrails left by airplanes are actually highly flammable and they are using them to put all of this flammable gas in our atmosphere. And when the time is right, they are going to set the air on fire and the planet’s whole atmosphere will burn completely away, and everyone on the planet’s surface will die, leaving only the world leaders and billionaires in the airtight underground cities. Because… um… why not, I guess?

#42 About The Russkies

My science teacher told us that the reason we weren’t going to the moon anymore (this was in early 1984) was that in 1975 the US and USSR fought a battle on the surface of the moon and the Russkies won. They were up there now plotting to conquer space and dominate the earth below. Mr. Logan, you were a moron. Never let a gym teacher teach a science class. Of course, being that I went to a hardcore Christian school, science wasn’t exactly held in high esteem anyway, so what did it matter?

#43 Set Phasers To Stun

Just a week ago, a man riding his bike stopped to ask me if there was another fire in our area. We live in California and even though one fire was dying down, another could have started, so I told him I wasn’t sure but I wouldn’t be surprised.

He then told me that the fires were being caused intentionally. He told me that the government was using “invisible” lasers shot from satellites in space to start the fires. I didn’t feel like arguing so I just nodded my head in agreement.

#44 CD Evidence

My ex told me he slept with the singer of a popular band and that she thanked him in the liner notes of their CD. He had a CD. His name was nowhere to be found. I’ve been lied to a lot but that had to be the dumbest and most blatant thing… I’m still baffled almost 20 years later.

#45 Carrying Baggage

I was forcibly indoctrinated into the most conservative sect of the American Lutheran church. As a result, my relationship with my father was permanently damaged. I had a vasectomy so I would never pass along such messed up baggage. I’m 63, and I’m still furious.

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