People Confess The Absolute Worst Thing They Have Ever Done, Ever
It’s amazing the level humans will go to to be the absolute worst to each other. All you have to do is check the headlines to see people being truly awful on a daily basis.
Once in a while, the worst folks can be right in your backyard (literally, but we’ll get to that in a moment), and sometimes, they’re so devious, you don’t even realize that they’re messing with you until it’s too late. Or, you never realize, and just wonder what the heck you’ve done to deserve this.
We scoured the Internet to find those awful people and their stories about the worst things they’ve ever done. Clearly not ashamed of their actions, these people have done some pretty awful things. Although, when you listen to their reasons, it’s pretty clear some of these people had it coming to them.
#25 The Food Thief
In my biology class, there was a girl who would always take some of my food. A good friend got a hold of ghost pepper peanuts a couple weeks later, so I filled a Ziplock bag with them and left them on my desk as an easy target. I was at the back of the room when I heard a squeak and then saw the same girl fly out of the class, only to return 10 minutes later covered in water. No shame.
#24 They Taught Him a Lesson
My physical education teacher was a suspected adult who liked young children and would always be flirting with teenage girls and inappropriately touching them. He also put his hands on my friend’s brother and threatened him, which was not met with discipline on his part. He lived right across the street from the school and was so strict about his lawn it was unreal. So I bought a 5lb bag of zoysia grass seed and would chuck a handful out onto his lawn every time I drove by before and after school.
Come next fall it had established itself. If you know anything about zoysia grass it spreads like crazy, taking over a lawn and turning yellow in the colder seasons. An awesome lush lawn in good weather, not ideal for Illinois where it gets cold. He tried everything to get rid of it but couldn’t. Now, eight-plus years later, if I’m in the area and drive by his lawn it’s still as bad as ever. Even though I had seen him all those days spreading seed trying to fix it. I like to think I broke him.
#23 Your Hair Looks So Shiny…
My flatmates stole my shampoo and conditioner after I repeatedly asked them to use their own. So, I bought myself a fresh bottle which I kept in my room and would bring with me to the shower. I then urinated in both the shampoo and conditioner bottles left in the shower and never used them again. I just observed their levels going down over time.
I never told them and never stopped. It was so worth it.
#22 Kids Can Be So Cruel
In the fifth grade, I had my first girlfriend. We would hold hands and kiss each other on the cheeks. This was going on for about a month or so until some other kid started hitting on her. Eventually, she told me that she wanted to break up, and would hold hands and cheek-kiss that other guy. I remember clearly that was the first time I was heart broken.
Then, after a few weeks, he broke up with her and everyone knew about it, so she was walking around all sad and stuff. I went up to her and said: “Hey, do you want to get back together again?” That’s when I saw all the sadness vanish from her face, just like the clouds disappear after the rain and a rainbow comes out. She, of course, said a convinced “Yes!” Which is when I told her “Oh, I see, okay… because I don’t.”
#21 That’s Got to Be Illegal…
My friend lived on a man-made lake (maybe 12ft deep at most). A lot of people had pontoons, but some pretentious guy had a sailboat. He would put on his sailing gear and sail around this tiny lake with his binoculars, scoping out people’s backyards for Home Owners Association violations and report them. My friend’s dad got nailed by The Skipper for having a dock that stuck out like a foot too far into the lake.
So one night in high school, my buddies and I get suited up in wetsuits, Seal Team 6 style. We make the midnight swim on a new moon out to the other side of the lake with a hand auger in tow. We silently drilled a hole in The Skipper’s boat and shove a rubber plug in it.
Now, attached to this plug was a length of cord and a cinder block we set about 20 feet away. The sailboat sat for a few days as if nothing happened. Then one fateful morning, The Skipper pulled out of port, thus releasing the plug. The boat was taking in water. About 200 yards down the “coast” the boat came to her final resting place, with only the stupid mast sticking out of the water. A few days later she was gone and The Skipper’s reign of terror ended.
I have some remorse, it was probably an expensive boat but then again, that guy had it coming.
#20 That’s a Really Crappy Thing to Do
I ate way too many wings at Buffalo Wild Wings one time… probably in the 20-25 range. I started driving home and after about 2 minutes I realized I wouldn’t be able to make it without relieving myself in my car. I pulled into a CVS and asked to use the bathroom. They said it was for employees only but I think I looked like I was in a lot of pain. They let me in.
I sprinted to the toilet and ripped down my shorts. As soon as I pulled down my shorts I exploded out of my backend. The only problem is I hadn’t sat down on the toilet yet and I completely missed the toilet on the first explosion and destroyed the floor of their bathroom. I made it to the toilet after that and continued draining everything inside of me while gagging because of the smell. I finished my business and walked out of the CVS and waived to the lady who let me in there. I still live near this CVS and haven’t been back in since.
#19 Yeah, You Sound Like a Bad Person
I would like to think I’m not a bad person but 18 years ago a friend and I were coming back from a club and found a crate of empty milk bottles. We decided to urinate in them all so that each one had a few inches of urine in them. Then we put a bottle on the door handle of every house in the street, so when the occupiers opened the door in the morning the bottles of urine would shatter on their doorstep. I woke up the next morning feeling pretty guilty.
#18 Girls Fart Too, Ya Know
I was in the Army and in an office with another soldier I didn’t know getting some paperwork taken care of by a Sergeant. My stomach had been giving me issues that day and I accidentally let out a silent but truly horrific smelling fart. The stench permeated the small room in no time, at which point the Sergeant sniffed, half gagged, and proceeded to berate the other soldier for doing something so nasty in his office. The Sergeant just assumed it was the other soldier because I’m a female. He even made the poor guy do push-ups for it and I never said a word.
#17 At Least He Owned Up to It…
It came to a close, and the teacher said, “Somebody should say pardon me!” I sat there red in the face as the whole back row of year threes, fours, fives, and sixes blamed me for it and my friend sat next to me looking mortified.
I had the nickname ThunderNerd for a year before I moved schools.
#16 What’s That Smell?
I had a neighbor who would play loud music at night. I asked them nicely to keep it quiet but they still played loud music. So, one night I decide to hide a chicken breast inside their AC unit. A few days later I saw them trying to find the smell.
#15 Anything to Be a Pokemon Master
In third to fifth grade I used to collect pokemon cards, but I was a thief about it. People always used to push me around or nick my cards. So, on the bus home, I’d ask people to see their decks. I’d slowly rifle through and every three to five cards I’d slip them out when they were not looking and hide them under my rear end. I always took the really rare ones too, like one of those holographic Charizards. I didnt know the value at the time, and they always chalked it up to just misplacing them.
Jokes on me because I left them in a shopping cart by accident after school one day.
#14 I Think This is Called Bullying
I remember my first day of high school there was this kid in my class who liked to one-up people with his stories. It irritated me, so I took his story apart piece by piece until we got into a back and forth pointing out each other’s faults. I did it again, and few more times, and yet he never backed down. He would set-em-up, and I would knock-em-down. I took it to be a game – two willing participants locked in a battle of wits day in and day out. I was already winning every battle, but after a while, he started developing a stutter which made it all the easier.
As the year went on it just got easier and easier, almost too easy. On the last day of school, I remember him sitting quietly avoiding eye contact, while most of us were in our little groups laughing. I don’t remember everything that happened when I approached him. I don’t remember what he said or why I said what I said, but I remember leaning in and telling him, “If you want me to stop, just say so.” Tears began to roll down his cheeks. He didn’t return to school next year, and after that class, I never saw him ever again.
Turns out we weren’t Holmes and Moriarty. I wasn’t Professor X to his Magneto. There was no rivalry. I was just a jerk.
#13 She’s Not Going Anywhere Anytime Soon…
I was about to back into a parking spot when this lady, who very obviously saw me trying to back in, decided to zoom into the spot and take it. Now I generally don’t consider myself a jerk, but I am sort of prone to a bit of road rage. So, I hopped out of the car and asked her very politely why she took my parking spot. To which, she replied, “I don’t give care, I was there first and I’m in a hurry.”
She must have been in a hurry because she did hurriedly jog into the coffee shop for a quick cup I guess. That day I just so happened to have a toolkit in the back of my truck, so I calmly walked over, took out the valve stem tool, and pulled all four of the valves from her tires. She came back out as I was putting the tool back. I didn’t stay long enough to say anything. I hopped back on my truck and whipped around the lot. I could see her trying to flag me down as I left the plaza, but I just drove to my other coffee shop of choice.
#11 30% Hearing Loss, But 100% A Bad Friend
I threw one of those little popper things at my friend’s head. Literally flew inside his ear and blew up. He lost like 30% of his hearing in that ear. Sounds fake but I swear it’s true.
#10 Does Laughing at This Make You a Bad Person Also?
I got under the influence and spent a night taping Get Well cards and balloons to fresh headstones in various cemeteries across the county.
#9 The Price of Friendship is $100?
Back in high school, a friend of mine let me borrow a pretty rare video game, and I never returned it to him before I went off to college. I sold it on eBay for $100. Every time he asked for it back I would just say “Sure man, I’ll bring it next time I see you,” knowing I would never see him again.
Although karma got me on this one since the exact same thing happened to me a decade later.
#8 Maybe This Kind of Behaviour is Why She Broke Up with You?
When my ex-girlfriend broke up with me I told her friends all the horrible things she had said about them, with proof. Sorry.
#7 Points for Creativity
A girl cheated on my best friend for two years and used him for free meals and dates the whole time. I put her number on Craigslist for a free couch with a picture of a nice black leather sofa. She got hundreds of texts. After the ad went down, I made another saying I was an elderly man who lived alone with a 55-gallon barrel full of pocket change I had accumulated over my life, but it was far too heavy for me to move. I offered 50% of the money to whoever would help me get it to the bank.
When Y2K was a thing, my grandmother was convinced everything would go to heck the second after the ball dropped. She stocked gallons of water and enough freeze-dried food to feed an army. New Year’s Eve came, and I was too young to drink and didn’t have any great plans that night.
What I did have, however, was a car and a key to their place. My buddy and I went over at around a quarter to midnight, quietly let ourselves into the back entrance of the garage, and waited. My grandparents are a bit hard of hearing, so I can hear the ball drop countdown even with my friend whispering the countdown he’s reading from his watch.
3… 2…1… annnnnddddd I hit the breakers. The lights go out and all I hear is my grandma saying “What’d I say Donny?! I told them this would happen! Jesus, God, and Heaven!”
That was 17 years ago, and she still tells people about how I almost killed her.
#5 At Least He Apologized…
This was five years ago now. I decided to teach my friend a lesson when he kept his Facebook logged in on my laptop. I was like I’ll write “haha lol I’m gay,” but that was letting him off the hook too easy, this would be the last time he left his Facebook logged in I told myself.
I know him very well so it wasn’t hard to write a paragraph where it really does sound like he is coming out to everyone.
Everybody bought it. Within five minutes his aunt posted something like “Oh dear boy, I always knew about you! No shame sweetheart.” His family called his mom. His mom didn’t know about it and she called my friend. He was in class so he didn’t answer. She called the head of school, my friend was pulled out of class to a phone where I imagine his mom was asking something like, “Aunt X just called and said you’ve come out as gay to everyone, when were you planning on telling me?” And he didn’t understand what was going on.
I won’t lie, I laughed really hard at the whole thing until he showed up crying on my doorstep because he would never have expected it from me. He was having a hard time in class and I had just given them ammo for years and pretty much stabbed him in the back when he wasn’t expecting it.
When I heard his side of the whole thing (I’d only seen the comments), I apologized profusely and wrote a post about it, explaining it was me etc. Still, to this day there are people calling him out to admit he’s gay after all.
I’ve done some bad stuff, but as far as the breaking of trust goes I think that takes the cake.
#4 The Devil Incarnate
I started a soul trade in high school. I would walk up to another student and offer them $1 in return for their soul. People would think it was funny at first and immediately accept the deal. I would walk away like nothing happened, and let their choice fester for a couple hours. Sure enough, they come back at the end of the day trying to return the dollar for their soul. That’s when I’d spike the price to $5 and collect a nice profit. One time I got $100 from a stupid kid I worked with.
#3 All She Wanted Was a Big Mac
I watched an old woman in McDonald’s drop £20. It landed straight into my pocket.
She went up to the counter, ordered and then rifled through her (many) pockets to try and find her money. She didn’t have anything else so she left, hungry.
Yes, I was a jerk.
#2 The Customer Isn’t Always Right
I was once working in an optician’s office. In my defense, the woman in this story had been a rude, awkward, cantankerous, old bat from the second she stepped in the store.
The woman was putting her glasses away in her bag when a £5 note fluttered out on to the floor right next to her. She didn’t notice it escape and I didn’t mention it to her.
She left whilst I stayed seated at the desk and as she walked away I slid my foot over the note. Once she was out the door I made sure no one else was looking and bent down and swept the fiver off the floor.
Victory was mine!
She came back in about two hours later asking if anyone had handed a fiver in or we’d noticed it. A colleague informed me of this shortly after she left again, whilst the victory sandwich I had purchased with my illicit “winnings” digested comfortably in my stomach.
#1 But You Won, Right?
My cousin had his 9th birthday party at Laser Quest (that’s a laser tag place). Now I was about a year younger than my cousin and his friends, and besides my other cousin (his sister) I was the youngest there. His friend Mike, who recently was hit by a car and had a broken leg was in a wheelchair and needed someone to push him around the course when the game began. He went out of his way to ask me specifically to do it because he at the time, had a crush on me so I agreed – ONLY so I could use him as a human shield. Now the entire time the laser tag game progressed I used him as a human shield and got first place for the game (only being hit by a laser once the entire time) and he thanked me for doing that. I still feel kind of bad about it but the victory was sweet.