January 4, 2023 | Jen Browne

Breaking Up With The Apps: How To Find Love In Real Life


Every single lonely millennial is on—or has been on—at least one dating app. Tinder, Bumble, and Grindr have made it almost too easy to sift through every potential partner within a 10-mile radius of your house. But despite their advertised success, dating apps can often leave you disappointed. In reality, the conversations rarely move past "hey what up" and when they do, you find yourself in yet another craft beer pop-up bar with someone who looks nothing like their profile picture.

The good news is that there are no- and low-tech ways to find love. If you're willing to have conversations deeper than "hey baby, where do you live???" then moving away from dating apps can be liberating. Here's what you need to know about finding old fashioned love in the real world.

selective focus photography of man and woman sitting on dining set with man kissing hand of womanUnsplash/@relevantedesign

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#1 Delete the apps

Delete, delete, delete! There's more to finding love than your best holiday pictures and a shallow bio. If deep connections are evading you online, banish dating apps and give yourself the opportunity to meet people in real life without constant notifications distracting you. Deleting your dating apps also means you'll be less tempted to revert back to them if they aren't front and center on your phone.

two women operating smartphoneUnsplash/@youxventures

#2 Ask for a set up

Technology has made it easier to meet people, so if you're struggling to chat up that guy at the bar or that woman in the check-out line at the grocery store, ask a friend for help. A set up may seem antiquated, but it can actually be an incredibly easy way to comb through potential partners. Arrange a brief drink or have your friends bring someone along to a group event to ease the pressure.

man and woman holding handsUnsplash/@vdapinto

#3 Live your dating profile

Kayaking, biking, attending live concerts—all of the things you've said you love to do on your dating profile, you now have the opportunity to actually do. Make a list of what you'd like to start doing and do them. If you're confident enough to go on your own, do it. It might be the perfect opportunity to meet someone new.

woman on green and white kayak holding yellow oar under white clouds and blue skyUnsplash/@jeffisaak

#4 Get out of your comfort zone

If you do the same things with the same friends all the time, you're likely not meeting any new people. Sign up for a language class, volunteer at an animal adoption service, or try a new fitness class. Bring a friend if you feel more comfortable doing so, but getting out of your comfort zone will not only allow you to meet new people more easily, it will also give you an opportunity to grow and challenge yourself.

unknown person facing sideways outdoorsUnsplash/@annaelizaearl

#5 Be patient

The swipe hype of today's dating apps can make people forget that important things take time. It may take you days, months, or years to find someone you really click with—with or without an app. But distracting yourself by flicking through a catalogue of people on your phone isn't going to necessarily help you find that person. Be patient, don't give up, and most importantly, have fun.

man wearing blue crew-neck top and woman wearing orange spaghetti strap top standing seashoreUnsplash/@amyjoyhumphries


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