Anxious People Share The One Thing That Has Been Eating Them Up On The Inside
People who suffer from anxiety know just how debilitating it can be. It’s something that affects people in all walks of life and at varying degrees. Those who don’t really understand anxiety can compare it to the feeling of being constantly worried for no reason at all. While there are medications or natural methods for dealing with it, it’s something that seems to creep into people’s lives one way or another.
Experiencing anxiety is not a pleasant feeling, and no one knows that better than the following internet users, who recently shared stories about the one thing that has been constantly eating them up on the inside.
#1 Wandering About Work
I can’t settle on what I want to do with my life. I’ve tried different types of jobs, and looked into different lines of work—I want to go back to school, but can’t decide for what. It’s super frustrating, and I feel incredibly stuck.
#2 No Laughing Matter
I don’t remember the last time I laughed really hard and I seem to be unable to find a hobby that I like.
#3 Not A People Person
I’ve come to the realization that many of the people around me like my family but don’t really like me. My brother is, for whatever reason, extremely likable (I’m a girl but I see a lot of resemblance personality-wise between us) and people just gravitate towards him but are only cordial towards me.
#4 Taking The Blame
I witnessed my best friend drown in a terrible accident. Alcohol was involved. My best friend’s parents asked me not to go to the funeral but wanted to hear the story a mere two days following the funeral. I have yet to share my story with them—I don’t see the value at this point. It brings me anger almost every day because they asked me not to go to my best friend’s funeral like I was the bad guy…
#5 Parting Ways With The Toxicity
I disconnected contact with my mother at the beginning of last year. She and her husband went on a campaign of sending me abusive messages. They used different numbers and created new social media profiles every time I blocked them.
I feel like I had a malignant tumor removed.
The true confession part of this is that I’m relieved not to be saddled with caring for that toxic old tramp or cleaning out her hoarder house when she dies.
#6 Looking For Love
I fear I’ll never find somebody who I love and who loves me.
#7 Haunted By What Could’ve Been
When I was a kid, I heard a gunshot while walking down a street. I ran back home as fast as I could. I went to my room and watched TV to calm myself down. I didn’t tell anybody. Two hours passed, and the phone rang. Mom told me my uncle died of a gunshot wound, trying to stop a fight nearby. At the funeral, we were told my uncle could’ve lived if paramedics arrived earlier.
For twenty years, I’ve always thought I could’ve saved him.
#8 Disdain And Discontent
I feel lonely. It’s not that I’m alone per se, it’s just that the people in my life suddenly seem so superficial and distant. Scrolling through social media, I get a feeling of disconnect because of how artificial and impersonal everything is. I hate this feeling of disdain for people I should genuinely care about but I’m worried that if I ignore it, I’ll be sacrificing my own authenticity. Maybe I’m just a bad person.
#9 Suffering At School
School gives me anxiety now. I just want to stay in bed all day. I’ve always been the perfect kid, the goody two shoes, the A+ student and I really don’t want to disappoint my parents. At the same time, I want to throw up justing thinking of waking up and having to go to class.
#10 Anxious Over Ex
It’s been two years and I feel incapable of getting over my ex. I’ve tried to date so many other people but never feel anything close to that connection I had with my ex, even on our first date.
I’ve tried to hold out—not everyone will spark right away, but they seem to fall for me and it pains me to hurt them in the same way I’ve been hurt.
It’s not something I’ve got anyone to speak to about, but I’m taking steps to get some professional help.
#11 Trapt In Between
I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t necessarily want to die, I just don’t want to live, if that makes sense. I’m tired of trying and getting nowhere. I’m tired of dumpster diving for scraps. I’m tired of hearing about how happy everyone is when I’m scraping myself out of bed in the morning.
#12 Cancer Communication
I have cancer. Just found out on Tuesday. How the heck do you tell people? Like, should I just blurt it out? Am I supposed to call people or can I just send them a message? I did call a few close friends, but they didn’t answer, so I left them a message to give me a buzz. They haven’t called back yet.
#13 Familiar With Loneliness
I’m 21 and I’ve never had a relationship or even been kissed. Also, I didn’t have any friends growing up. I am so lonely but at this point, I prefer the loneliness I know over things changing. Change freaks me out.
#14 Fear For The Future
I am very afraid of the future. I often feel like I can never pursue my dreams because I am not good enough. I want to be a comedy writer but I never grew up writing or acting like everyone else. I have never made an attempt because I am afraid of not being good at it.
It’s like everyone’s found their calling and I cannot find mine.
#15 Affected By Medication
I think my medication is causing me to have anxiety attacks and I feel as though I have no control over it.
I started taking Imuran to treat a potential autoimmune condition (joint pain, diarrhea, ANA markers) about five weeks ago and it is not helping yet.
I have struggled with depression and mild anxiety for the past five years. I am 19 and currently studying engineering. I am too young for this.
I struggle to relax fully and I am scared that I will not be able to become an engineer if this doesn’t get better. I just need to talk to someone about it since I bottle everything up.
#16 Dues To Pay
I owe the IRS $200 and my most recent employer $160. I am unemployed, desperately seeking work. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared.
#17 Passing Gas
Two years ago, I absent-mindedly ripped a silent-but-deadly fart at work that was absolutely venomous. At the same time, another coworker ripped a little baby toot. Everybody was laughing at him when our boss walked in the room, right into my poison cloud. I let him take the fall.
#18 The One That Got Away
In six days, I’m officiating the wedding of the girl I love. Spoiler alert, she’s not marrying me. I thought I was handling it well, but tonight I read her vows, and it crushed me inside.
We’re long-time friends, and I’m still glad I decided to say yes when she asked me to do the ceremony, but damn, I thought I had gotten over feeling like this.
She knows how I feel about her. We sat down and had a serious conversation about it a while ago, and I respect that she doesn’t feel the same about me.
Still feels bad man.
#19 Overwhelmed With Love
Just how much I love my partner.
It sounds silly, I know, but I genuinely never thought I could feel like this. I’ve always had issues being comfortable around people and showing affection, especially since my dad died. Holy guacamole though, this guy, man. I feel bad you guys don’t know him, he is just so precious and kind. Is this what it’s like for most non-cold people? What have I been missing these 21 years?
I don’t speak about it much to those around me because I’ve pretty much exhausted it. Nobody wants to hear how happy you are these days. But I’ll be damned if I don’t thank my lucky stars every day I wake up to that drooling boy, his breath might stink and he might sleep in a funny position which makes me panic that he’s stopped breathing but he is the best thing since sliced bread.
#20 Conflicted With Sexuality
I feel conflicted with my sexuality at times because I’m attracted to men and women, but not feminine women or masculine men. It’s the reverse, but while I prefer relationships with androgynous women, I’m more sexually turned on by really really feminine guys. Ones that dress like girls but don’t identify as girls. They aren’t easy to find, and the ones that I do find aren’t into women at all. If I tell people what I want, I’m told that I’m a freak or just a lesbian trying to get hetero approval. Why does nature have to be cruel to me?
#21 The Weight Of Too Many
I feel like I’m completely disconnected with everyone in my life, but have no basis for this feeling. I’m a 29-year-old female, I own my own business, have a fantastic apartment downtown, I’m loved by so many people, I’ve got more friends than I can count. But I’m the person that everyone leans on, and I have no one to lean on. I just want someone to check in on me and care about my wellbeing rather than just assume because I’m positive and successful that there aren’t times that I need someone to be there for me. So, a reminder: check on your strong friends.
#22 All Set With Homophobia
I’m so sick of people getting upset whenever I bring up my boyfriend. My coworkers are constantly talking about women they find hot, or who they slept with, and one dude is constantly going on about how he and his wife are trying for a baby. I bring up my boyfriend in any capacity and people are quick to remind me that they don’t want to hear about that “gay stuff.” It’s extra annoying when someone asks me about who I’m dating and I answer truthfully.
#23 Trash Talk Torment
Most of my friends and people I meet seem unable to communicate unless it’s through trash talk. I think it’s cringeworthy, to the point where it nearly hurts me physically. I find it repulsive, and I have a hard time accepting that I seem to be in the minority with my opinion.
#24 Messed Up About Miscarriage
We had two miscarriages this year. Almost no one, including our parents, knows. It’s very isolating, but I have a type A personality, and I’m a doctor, and I have a problem showing vulnerability. I also just don’t want to be “that couple” that has fertility problems.
I now look at my life as “before miscarriages” and “after”.
#25 Cat Killer
A few weeks ago, I pulled out of my driveway, drove a few feet, and a stray cat fell out of my car, like where the engine is. I hit it. I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to, but my kids were in the car and didn’t realize what happened so I just kept going.
We’ve been through a really traumatic year, and all I could think was that if I kept going, they wouldn’t know and they’d be fine; but if I stopped… they’d be screaming, bawling messes for weeks. They’re still so fragile right now.
I saw a car going the opposite way to stop for the cat. I feel so much shame for not stopping, and I wonder what happened to it. I’m glad someone was a better person than I was, but it doesn’t take away the way I feel about myself for how I handled it. If it’d been just me, I would’ve stopped, but I just couldn’t bring myself to upset my kids after everything they’ve been through. Now all I can think is they have a garbage human being for a mom.
#26 Striving For Perfection
I am about to crack any day now from the pressure of staying on task with everything!
Get good grades. Make sure to exercise so that I don’t gain weight this year. Make sure to read a bit today. Make sure to get some sleep so you can focus tomorrow. Study for that ACT after studying for your school work.
Day after day, I am slowly getting used to it and I should be fine in the end, but there is always that uncertainty.
#27 Dating Soon-To-Be-Divorcee
I have been texting an older man who is in the process of getting a divorce. We found each other through Tinder (I didn’t know he was getting divorced until we started talking). We met up once, but nothing happened. A part of me feels guilty just because even though they are finalizing everything and it was due to infidelity on her part, he is still someone’s husband. I’m honestly not sure what to do now.
#28 No Pictures, Please
I chat with women anonymously a lot over Snapchat, Kik, etc. I have a lot of great convos with women I’d seriously be interested in dating, but ultimately they always want to see a picture. I dread this moment. On almost every occasion, the girl will block me immediately after seeing my picture. It makes me want to die.
#29 Leaving The Nest
I’m nearly 22, I haven’t gone to college, and I still live at my mom’s house. All of my friends now have their own places but I can’t afford it. My job pays too little and works me too much. My taxes are 20% of my income. I’d find a new job but this is the only one I’ve found that doesn’t make me wake up every day wishing I had a bullet for breakfast.
It’s the same as the mundane jobs that make me want to end myself. I constantly feel trapped and left behind. I just don’t know what to do.
#30 Drowning In Debt
I am thousands of dollars in debt and facing eviction from my apartment because of rent arrears. I have a court date soon and I’m extremely nervous. I am working with a debt advisor to get in on top of all of this, so at least I’m no longer burying my head in the sand, but I still can’t talk to anyone else about it because I feel like a complete failure facing bankruptcy and homelessness.
On top of this, my period is a week late after sleeping with a guy I’ve only just started seeing. I’m buying a pregnancy test tomorrow!
#31 An Unsure Heart
I’ve been in a relationship going on three years and I’m just not sure if it’s what I want anymore. This is the only serious relationship I’ve been in and it is by no means bad, but the longer it goes on, the more I tend to have thoughts about being with other people. Sometimes I really think I want to be single but I don’t want to hurt my partner or lose their friendship. I don’t want to leave them and then find out I was wrong and that they were the right one for me. Plus, at this point, I’m not sure how to move on because I’ve never had to before. I just feel stuck.
#32 Hung Up On Highschool Sweetheart
I have never gotten over my high school sweetheart. It’s been almost eight years since we broke up and if he asked to get back together today, I would probably leave my son’s father and say yes in a heartbeat. I am single but not actually a single mom—it’s complicated, and we need to figure things out before Charlie asks about his daddy.
#33 Passionate About Post
I am convinced that Post Malone and I would have a deep, deep connection if we met in person. I often daydream about a life with him.
#34 Pumping The Brakes
I failed my driver’s license test last week. Logically, that’s not a big deal. I’m 17. Almost everyone I’ve talked to at school who has taken it failed the first time. I’m taking it again in a few days. I know what I did wrong, so I just won’t make that mistake again. Nothing to stress over.
But the idea of taking the test again stresses me out to an unbelievable extent. I feel stupid and useless for not being able to calm down and for failing in the first place.
#35 Happily Never After
I got married recently and I hate my wife. She whines, throws tantrums or just shuts down and cries when she doesn’t get what she wants. On good days, she says she doesn’t like her behavior but when we start to discuss it further, she gets agitated and spirals into the same behavior. I don’t know how much longer I can keep up living with her.
While we were dating she was independent and productive. Now, it’s all gone. I wanted to have a partner I could grow with but now I constantly have to take care of her. I don’t have time to take care of myself or my work, so I resent her and I am embarrassed to be married to her. I feel like I’m hating her more and more and her parents for raising her to be such a terrible adult.
#36 Can’t Cash In
My dad died a while back. I just got the check from his estate and I am having an incredibly hard time cashing it. It’s the last thing I’ll ever have from him and depositing it is going to require me to move on. I don’t think I’m ready to do that.
#37 Not Interested In Nudes
A girl I really like sent her nudes to me and I made the mistake of saying that I didn’t expect that from her (I had no bad intentions, it just came out super wrong). She started showing less interest immediately and canceled our next date. I still tried to make it happen but I was a little pushy and she ended up ignoring my texts. I sent her a message apologizing and said I’d love to talk about it. She immediately saw it, read it, and hasn’t answered since.
It’s torturing me. I don’t know what to do; I really like her and she was really into me before that all happened, and it’s killing me that she still hasn’t answered.
#38 Gone Too Soon
One of my best friends died in the summer in a motorcycle accident. A few days before, he called me and asked if I wanted to go out for a coffee. I didn’t go because I didn’t feel like going out. I regret it to this day. I feel like there was so much left to do and talk about…
#39 Growing Apathetic
I’ve realized that as I grow older, for some reason I care about people less. I just feel so heartless towards everyone who tries to be a part of my life and I honestly don’t know how to fix it. I’m only 20 years old. I had a high school girlfriend of three years. I joined the service and immediately after boot camp, I didn’t care about her anymore. She’s a wonderful person, and I broke her heart. But I guess that just makes me a self-aware jerk.
#40 Delaying The Date
I recently started falling for a girl who I have been talking to for a month. The problem is she keeps moving back our date despite insisting she wants to go. I know that I need to just move on, but a part of me wants to keep giving her the benefit of the doubt and hope it works out.
#41 Going Nuts
To whoever sees this, if you are the man who was sitting next to me at the movies eating the world’s biggest, never-ending bag of shelled nuts, please know it took ALL of my patience to not grab the bag and chuck it out of your reach.
It was torture from the first ear jerking CRACK during the previews to the last sound of you dropping all of your garbage shells onto the floor when the movie was done. Please don’t do this to anyone else, ever ever ever ever again. Thank you in advance, you nutty man, you.
#42 Anxious About Being Alone
I don’t need to get this off my chest anonymously, but something that’s been eating at me is my husband’s upcoming work trip. He’s going out of state for training for three weeks. In the three and half years we’ve been together, we haven’t spent more than about 15 hours apart at a time. We’ve never slept apart since we got together. I’m so nervous about being alone and not having him here every day. I struggle with anxiety and he’s my rock. It’s so good for his career so I don’t want to let on about how worried I am, but it’s tough.
#43 Satisfied With Sleeping
I’m tired. All I do on my days off is sleep, it seems. But I’m still tired. I haven’t had a significant other in years because every time I try and date I just get immediately bored. The men I meet are just… boring. They don’t know anything about the movies or TV shows or bands I mention. They don’t care about my job. It’s just… boring.
There’s nothing to do on my days off. My best friend died and so far I have just co-workers and acquaintances to replace her. We do stuff every few months, but that’s about it.
I work hard in a very stressful environment. On days that I work, I come home to drink, eat dinner, and just sleep until I have to wake again. And then I pick up extra shifts, so sometimes I work six days a week.
I’m making more money than ever but I’m also eating out more. I can afford things I couldn’t before but I just feel so tired and alone all the time.
#44 Growing Pains
I’ve been struggling with what they say is arthritis for going on seven years now. Some days are better than others. But lately, I have been just exhausted. Physically and with everything in my life. Everything feels mundane and I am just wrapped up in my pain. I can’t relax. I struggle coping with just about every facet of life. I often wonder if it is something worse. I feel like I am dying, and most of the time I wish that I would just go away.
#45 Working It Out
I’ve been trying to overcome my gym anxiety to no avail. I really want to make it work but I’m having so much trouble with my insanely low self-esteem that just makes me freeze when I get there.