October 23, 2019 | Samuel Ira

Amazed People Share The Most Calculated Thing They've Ever Seen An Animal Do


Animals are incredible. Humans may think they are the superior species, but the animals in these stories challenge that notion. Some of them are domestic pets that managed to outsmart their owners, while others are wild creatures that were able to adapt to human behavior and successfully use that acquired knowledge to their advantage. From birds ordering food from drive-thrus to cats and dogs bamboozling their owners for their own personal gain, these stories will have you amazed at the intelligence of animals. Read on for some good laughs and ridiculous tales.

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Don't forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!

#1 PS4 Antics

My cat shuts off my PS4. He likes to lay on it because it's nice and warm, but in the summer it can be too hot so he paws around until he hits the button that puts it into sleep mode. It annoys me every time, but he doesn't give a heck. It has yet to occur to him that he can turn it on the same way when he's cold in the winter, but I anticipate walking in one day to find him laying there on a nice warm PS4.

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#2 My Dog Is A Sadist

I use to find lifeless mice in my dog's water bowl. I couldn't figure out why these stupid mice kept drowning themselves. Then, one day, I was watching my dog stalking a mouse on the back porch. She caught it in her teeth, brought it to the water bowl, and held it underwater with her teeth until it drowned. Then my dog walked away like it was nothing.

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#3 Diversion Tactics

A few years ago, there were a few slices of bread in the middle of the street for whatever reason. A crow kept flying down and treating itself, but whenever it did, one of the neighborhood dogs came and chased it off. The crow tried about three times to eat in peace, but the dog chased it off every time.

So the crow then decided to land a little bit away from the slices of bread and the dog ran towards it. The crow then flew off and landed about a meter away. The dog followed again. The crow repeated this until the dog was in a different street, then it came back and chowed down.

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#4 Mission Failed

I once saw a crow try to untie the knot in a balloon string that was tied to my neighbor's porch. It got as far as getting one of the loose ends in its beak and pulling, but it was tied too tight for the non-thumbed crow to undo.

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#5 Innovative Nutcracker

I saw a video of a crow that would drop walnuts into the crosswalk when the light was green for cars to go through. Then when the light turned red and the cars stopped, it would fly down from its perch and eat the, now smashed open, walnuts.

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#6 Wendy's Bandit

I once watched a crow eating fries from a box that had been dropped in a Wendy's drive-thru. It would grab a couple of fries then fly off to eat them in a bush as the cars pulled past. It ate maybe half of the box of fries in bits like this. Then, when a longer break in traffic in the drive-thru occurred, it proceeded to pick up all of the rest of the fries, put them inside of the box, and carefully pick up the box so to keep the fries inside.

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#7 A Nickel For A Taco

Just up the street from my apartment in San Francisco, there was one of those fast-food restaurants that was either a KFC or a Taco Bell, depending on the angle from which it was viewed. The establishment was a frequent stopping point for students coming from the nearby college... and those students were a frequent target for a remarkably bright crow.

Now, on most days, the bird in question would just hang around the restaurant (as well as other ones nearby) and scavenge for scraps. Every now and then, though, it would enact a much more complex scheme than simply going through the gutter: the crow had apparently discovered that money could be exchanged for food, so it would wait until it saw a likely mark, squawk at them to get their attention, then pick up and drop a coin. Anyone who responded would witness the bird hopping a few feet away, following its "victim" toward the source of its next snack.

When the crow approached me, it dropped a nickel on the ground. I stooped, picked up the coin, and then jumped slightly when the bird made a noise that sounded not unlike "Taco!" Needless to say, I bought that crow a taco. The final out-of-pocket cost for me, minus the nickel, was something like $1.15. Even so, I figured a bird that smart deserved a reward simply for existing. Of course, that was probably exactly what I was supposed to think.

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#8 Sisterly Teamwork

We used to have two kittens. One day at the dinner table, one of them stood up and put two paws on my dad's lap. We all laughed at her obvious attempt at trying to steal food. While our attention was focused on her, her sister jumped straight onto the table and stole a whole chicken drumstick. They both sprinted away and shared it nearby.

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#9 Butter Thief

My childhood cat loved to eat butter, so we had to seal up the butter dish immediately after use or he'd be in it. It got to the point that while my dad would be making a sandwich in the kitchen, the cat would knock something over in the living room so that the humans would go check on that and he'd have at least 20 seconds of unfettered butter access. Sneaky little cat. The same cat used to catch field mice, drag them to the center of our cul-de-sac and let em go. He'd catch them again before they got to the edges, but he would spend hours dragging them back to the middle. When he got bored he'd eat only a part of them.

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#10 Sweet Revenge

When I was young and stupid, I would grab my Doberman by the snout and fart on her nose...which typically resulted in her sneezing. One evening while watching TV, my dog walked right past me, stopped with her butt in my face and let one rip. She turned back to look at me. I swear I saw her smile.

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#11 That's My Toy

I had a large lovable great dane, about 140 lbs. One day my husband, my sister in law, and I were sitting in the living room watching my three-year-old niece play with the dog on the floor. At one point, my niece grabbed the dog's stuffed toy and walked away with it. The dog got up and followed her to where she stood in the corner.

My niece was standing in the corner playing with the toy, facing the wall, and my large dog was looming behind her. The dog turned back and looked at us grown-ups on the couch, then looked back at the toy. Finally, he turned his head and, while staring at us, he lifted his giant dog foot and punched my nieces head into the wall in front of her. She immediately exploded into tears, dropped the toy, and stood there sobbing and holding her forehead. The dog calmly and very daintily picked up the toy and took it to his bed.

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#12 A Dog With Tricks

My dog once outsmarted me. He tricked me into getting up to let him out on a cold winter morning... Only, as soon as I turned the corner, he jumped up into my warm spot in the bed, curled up real tight, and then studiously ignored me when I came back in the room. That smarty-pants. Best dog ever.

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#13 Ducks Playing Safe

I was once walking from my grandparents' house to the shops, and accidentally went the very long way, which happened to go past a creek (there may have been more water I couldn't see). I saw two ducks walk towards the road, and at the edge, one duck put its wing in front of the other duck to stop it. Then, they looked both ways, waited for a car to pass, and walked to the center of the road. I have never regretted not bringing my camera more.

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#14 A Crosswalk For Geese

On one edge of my neighborhood, there's a large retention pond I've lived there for about a decade, so from my perspective, there has always been a small group of geese who live along the shore or in the park somewhere. There have always been people living across the street from the pond who feed the geese (ugh, don't get me started).

The geese have been crossing the road for years, and people have been almost running the geese over for years. The road is the main thoroughfare in and out of the neighborhood, so it can get pretty busy. A few years ago, a stop sign with a crosswalk and then an extra crosswalk down the road were put in. Nothing fancy, just signs and paint on the road. The geese learned about the additional crosswalk and use it accordingly.

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#15 Chocolate-Loving Canine

We once came home to find my dog had ripped into a multi-pack of mini chocolate bars and sweets and gone to town on them. However, we couldn't bring ourselves to tell him off because he'd also placed a bar of unopened chocolate on my bed, my sister's bed and my parents' bed. I guess he thought if he shared the chocolate with us all we wouldn't be mad.

#16 The Horse Freer

My horse knows how to unlock gates with his nose. Most of the stalls have a slide lock that they usually just leave alone. Not Rex. We had to put a bottom lock on the door he couldn't reach. One day, one of the newer people locked him in his stall but forgot the bottom latch. Rex unlocked his door, then went to the other stalls and let the other horses out. Then he led them on a charge to grassy freedom.

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#17 Leaping For Corn

My dad and I would feed the deer corn in an automatic feeder a couple of yards away from the fence that we kept our horses in. We couldn't figure out why the corn was going so fast on particular nights. Then, we discovered a horse print in the dirt on morning filling the feeder. We put up a trail camera and came to find that one of our ponies was capable of jumping our quadruple-stranded barbed wire fence. It would do it at night to go eat the corn, then jump back over to the field without us ever knowing he was out.

#18 A Pigeon Jay-Walking

I once watched a pigeon jay-walk. It never once tried to fly. It just walked to the edge of the curb, looked both ways for cars, and then started walking. It got to the yellow line on the road and stopped again. It waited while a few cars went by, then looked both ways again and continued walking across to the other curb. It was fascinating. It must have learned by watching other people doing it.

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#19 One-Legged Scavengers

There was a flock of little birds outside of a French bakery in California. They would pick at bits of scones and croissants people threw away in the trash cans nearby, and many of them would approach people for scraps. We noticed one particular bird hopping around on one leg begging for scraps, and we gave it a little bit of our bread. As soon as it had the bit of food in its beak, I swear to God it looked right at me and dropped its other leg to the ground.

#20 Dog Outwits Human

This was my dog. I was eating a bagel on the couch and he was sitting on the floor next to me, just eyeing me down. You could tell he wanted some, but I wasn't giving into his cute persuasions. He calmly walked over the mudroom door and rang his bell that lets us know that he had to go to the bathroom. So I got off the couch, put my bagel on the coffee table and walked into the mudroom. Well, between the time I got up and walked to the mudroom door, he ran around, back through the kitchen and snagged my bagel off the table. I didn't even try to get it back from him, the slick bastard deserved his prize. I realized who was the smartest being in the house that day.

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#21 A True Einstein

We used to have two dogs: Lillian the Chihuahua and Einstein the Corgi. We had to feed them separately because Ein would gobble up all of Lillian's food, while Lillian preferred to graze at her own leisure like a cat. So, we set up Lillian's food bowl on a small desk in the corner of the living room, because Lillian could hop directly up to the desk to eat when she wanted, and Ein was too corgi-esque to make the jump.

This arrangement worked great for a while until one day we noticed that Lillian's food was disappearing faster than usual lately. So we started to monitor the situation a bit more closely. Then, we found out what was happening by quietly peeking around the corner when we heard some movement in the living room.

We watched Ein deliberately push out the chair under the desk, hop from the chair to the desk, gobble up ALL of Lillian's food, hop back down, then push the chair back under. It was the most devious thing I'd ever seen.

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#22 A Passive-Aggressive Doggy

My girlfriend has one rule: her dog is not allowed in the kitchen. Whenever he tries to break this rule, she puts him on the carpet right outside the kitchen. The second she turns her back, he will slide one paw forward like, two inches to barely touch the kitchen floor. Her dog is very passive-aggressive. Kind of like his owner.

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#23 Guardian Dog

I had a German Shepherd-Chow mix who was incredibly smart and loyal. She was a rescue our family picked up from a shelter when she was about eight months old. Her name was Jazz, and I have never seen another like her.

When my brother was about two years old, he learned to unlock and open doors. We had a fenced-in backyard with a large pool. We did have a sturdy cover on the pool at this time because it was the middle of winter, but some water seeped on top of the cover, like most covers, if you were to try to walk across it.

One day, my brother opened the back door and headed straight for the pool. The lady who helped clean our house saw what was happening through the window over the sink. She screamed, and we all ran outside to go get him. What we saw was my wonderful dog stand in front of him, gently take his hand in her mouth and lead him away from the pool.

She was incredible.

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#24 Little Mews

When my big orange tabby cat wanted me up to feed him breakfast, he got into the habit of coming into the bedroom and meowing loudly around 5 a.m. I soon cured him of that by getting up and quietly locking him in the bathroom for an hour or so while I got some more sleep. Sure enough, after a few times, he stopped waking me up with those loud "MEOOOWS!"

But I found I still would wake up early for some unknown reason with the cat on the floor by my bed staring at me expecting breakfast. It wasn't until one morning when I woke up really early and was just lying in bed thinking of getting up when I heard the smallest meow you could ever hear—just a little tiny kitten like "mew." He then waited a minute or two and then repeated. He basically did this nonstop at irregular intervals just within hearing range so I wouldn't know that he had woken me up.

Smart cat.

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#25 A Monkey With An Arm

When I was in kindergarten, we went to the zoo. The first enclosure was a big area with what I think were chimpanzees; I don't know, it was too long ago to remember. There was a sign that apparently said you had to be silent as to not disturb the monkeys. This one kid Frederic didn't shut his mouth, so a monkey just grabbed a peanut and threw it over 70 yards to hit the kid right in the head. That shut him up.

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#26 Doggy Doo-Doo Prank

My mom yelled at one of our dogs and chased it around the house for going #2 in the kitchen. Later, she went to put on her shoe and squished her way into a huge one. The dog sat at the top of the stairs watching. I still crack up remembering the huge screech my mom put out!

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#27 Karma Serves You Right

When I was about 11 or 12 years old, I was with my family on a beach. There was a seagull there that had stolen a sandwich from our beach blanket. It had grabbed the sandwich, flown away, and landed about 100 feet from us.

So I picked up a racquetball and tried to hit the seagull with it. I missed but was close enough to startle the seagull. It flew into the air, swooped back down, picked up the ball, and proceeded to drop it like, 200 yards out at sea.

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#28 Cats And Lasers

My cat likes laser toys. We kept him entertained with one for several months. When we moved we lost it, but then after a couple of months we found it. Almost immediately after shining a bright red spot on the carpet, he looked at the person holding the laser pointer, and now all he wants to do is bite the actual laser light thing, not the spot.

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#29 One Step Ahead

My brother's dog figured out that the light actually comes from the laser pointer. When he "loses" it, he will look right at the pointer in your hand until you turn it back on, then try to catch the dot. I figure that's at least one step ahead of most dogs.

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#30 Cancun Conspirators

Cancun. There are these little ninja crows everywhere. Small and sleek. They take up posts on the umbrellas, one per peak. So, I was listening to them squawk and I noticed they have a particular sound for 'food'. If anyone of them spotted open food or an open tray, they would make this little 'qwaak' sound, and if they heard the 'qwaak,' their neighbor would repeat it, and so forth until all the birds knew about it. They had another sound for 'carried food.'

These birds would organize their 'attacks' based on where the food was in their little network. Open food was hit by one bird following another, each taking a piece until it was gone or until somebody shooed them away. But the carried food, that was a two-parter. Some would swoop in low, facing the server, and of course, the server would tilt the tray back to protect it. That's when the flankers would hit, dropping from up high, to snag what they could while the server was distracted.

Brilliant approach, and from what I could see, very effective. They got a little something almost every time. It was amazing to watch, I had no idea birds could co-ordinate and communicate like that. Sneaky little birds. Kept me entertained for hours.

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#31 Embarrased Cat

I don't really know if this applies as "calculated", but I have seen a cat get embarrassed. I live down south in the US where green tree frogs are abundant. I had a cat that would stare out of the window, as they do. One night there was a tree fog, on the outside of the window. Towards the top. My cat crept up, stuck a paw towards it halfway, then stopped before touching the glass.

She did it again. Then on the third try, she quickly touched the glass with her paw, realizing the frog was on the outside. I swear on my life this cat turned and looked around the room to make sure no one else had seen this happen. When she saw me looking at her, her eyes got wide and she ran off. That may not be what was going through her head, but I like to think so.

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#32 Keeping Poise

I had a cat who would do this. She always tried to be so poised. If she ever did anything clumsy, she would look around. If anybody saw it, she would immediately start grooming herself.

"That clumsy thing that just happened wasn't me! I've been here the whole time, making myself look beautiful."

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#33 "Sic 'em Butch"

I worked at a pet store. We had a guard dog. A mean-looking pit bulldog. When customers would show up before the store opened and bang on the door to get in, the owner would say, "Sic 'em Butch" and the dog would run out of the back, barking and snarling at the front door glass until the customer went away and waited for the store to open.

One day, I was in the back of the store, and a customer came rapping on the front glass to get in early. Nobody was in the retail area of the store, the dog was in the back and didn't hear the rapping... But, the store mascot parrot was on his perch in the front of the store, and suddenly, called out, "Sic, em Butch!" The dog came running, snarling and chased the customer away.No humans were involved inside the store. I just sat in amazement as I watched the whole thing.

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#34 You Rang?

Each time the doorbell rang, my cat would run and hide behind the furniture next to the door, slip out the door as soon as I opened it and run straight for a small hole under the fence where she knew I couldn't catch her. She'd be back after a couple of hours of being an outdoor wildcat.

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#35 You've Been Duped

My dog Aries wasn't allowed to sleep in bed because he was so big and there was just no room. One night, Aries woke up my dad and started pacing around, acting like he wanted to go out. So my dad got out of bed and walked him down the hallway to the backdoor to let him out. The second my dad touched the door, Aries turned around and bolted back to the bedroom. He jumped in bed, got under the covers and laid next to my mom, taking up all the room. I think my dad just slept on the couch for the rest of the night because he was so impressed with his planning.

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#36 Lucky Cricket

This won't ever see the light of day, but a cricket rode around on my turtle's back for over 24 hours. If he's that smart, the cricket deserves to live. We set him free to propagate his genes.

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#37 A Ruthless Cat

My oldest cat likes to torture insects. She catches them, brings them to the center of the kitchen and gives them a head start. She then hunts them down and brings them back. She'll remove a limb and repeat the process until they give up.

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#38 Charlotte The Pig

We had a pot-bellied pig when I was young. Charlotte was fat and sassy as heck. She'd take out our potato bag from the pantry, hide every potato from the bag around the house, and then just wait. For two months, we'd have her coming up to us with a potato in her mouth, randomly. She wasn't scared or worried or anything, she'd let you take it away, but as soon as you had your hand on it, she'd turn her head ever so slightly and twist off a full mouthful of potato. She didn't have the leverage to eat them herself, so she'd hide them until she could get one of us to help.

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#39 A Dog With Wisdom

My oldest dog constructed a staircase from moving boxes to get on our pub-height dining room table. They were in the same room but not near each other.

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#40 Smart Crow

A land scraper I know found a baby crow and raised it before releasing it. He took it around in his truck while mowing lawns all summer one year. After he released it, the crow would follow him from job to job and just hang around. Fast forward a few years the crow would still show up, but mostly just at lunchtime. The crow knew his routine and just stopped by for the good part: lunch.

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#41 Good Cat/Dog Relations

My friend and her brother were at school and really excited to know that their mom made a pineapple upside-down cake as their after-school snack since they both did well on tests recently. She mentioned how eager the dog was to get it, so she pushed it all the way into the corner so the dog couldn't get to it. As they got in, they were too late—they watched as the cat finished pushing the cake off the edge of the counter. The dog immediately ate it. I feel like that cat and dog should have had their own movie by now.

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#42 Peter The Bus-Riding Dog

Sadly I never witnessed this, but when my father in law was young, he had a dog called Peter who would regularly catch a bus into town and then home again. Apparently he'd wait patiently for the bus of his choice, letting the ones he didn't want pass by, before trotting on and taking a seat.

He'd get off in town, about four miles away, and presumably, just mooch around for a bit before getting the correct bus back. Occasionally my father in law would have someone say, "Oh, I saw Peter in town the other day..." Clever boy.

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#43 Evil Parrot

It sucks that this will probably not be seen by many, but I babysat for a woman who had an African Grey parrot and two dogs. The parrot would say, "Wanna go out?" and the dogs would get all riled up, excited to go. That's when the bird would laugh and say, "Suckers." That thing was evil.

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#44 Problem Solving

One day I went to the park with my son and we saw a bird in a pond. It caught a large fish and tried to swallow it whole. But the fish was too large for its throat. So this bird flipped and spun the fish around in its beak a few times. Then a look of recognition flashed in its eyes as its brain finally registered the impossible large size of the fish. It casually dropped the fish back to the pond and walked away. No regret! No hard feelings! Nature is so wonderful sometimes.

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#45 Discriminatory Bears

Drop bears in Australia have the ability to distinguish a poorly prepared tourist from an experienced local.

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