Probably the worst-case scenario for anyone in a relationship is walking in on the person you love being unfaithful to you. What do you do in that situation? How do you react? The following people have unfortunately been through it all, and this is what they had to say about it:
#1 The Bobby Pin
I found a blonde bobby pin on his nightstand when I only used brunette ones. I already had a bad gut feeling about his new blonde coworker... I’ll never forget that heavy stomach and lightheaded feeling of having my worst fear basically confirmed. I was pretty much trembling and wasn’t capable of talking, just holding my tears. My hands were a bit shaky too. I wanted nothing but silence. One of the worst feelings ever.
#2 A Complete 180
My wife of six years got a new job in medical device sales and was out of town for three weeks straight for training. The first two weeks went okay but she had never traveled before, so it was difficult for both of us. I have several friends who work in the industry, and they all pretty much paint the same picture—lots of drinking, lots of hooking up.
It's okay, not MY wife. She would never. But the next time we spoke I could tell something was wrong. She had been talking about this guy quite a bit in our conversations so I asked about him. Oh, he's nobody. Just another rep from another state in training with her. Regardless, that afternoon I got a text from HIM, explaining that my wife had told him that I was asking about him, and he decided to text me to reassure me that he was married, had three kids, nothing was going on. I bought it.
And then, the night before she comes home, it happens. At 4 a.m. I get a phone call from her, but in my slumber, I sent it to voicemail. She was absolutely wasted and had dialed my phone instead of his and left a voicemail. The voicemail consisted of explicit details of their encounters that week and since they would be traveling together in the future, the continuation of more encounters was promised.
I got out of bed, walked down the hallway to our daughters rooms (2 and 4 at the time), grabbed both of them and brought them to bed with me. I held them tight while they slept on each side of me, while I cried the remainder of the night, not for me, but for them because their world was going to get turned upside down in less than 12 hours.
I then got out of bed, logged onto her computer and, after a little investigative sleuthing, I forwarded every iMessage, every picture as well as the voicemail she sent me to his wife.
#3 No Justice For Dad
I fought and fought and fought for my kids. She was suffering depression, was a borderline addict and she traveled overnight on average 150 nights a year... everything that those girls didn't need to be around. But as the father, I already had that going against me and the courts still sided with her. She makes double what I do, yet I still pay her child support.
#4 The Roommate
The first two minutes were just pure silence as we all stared at each other. Finally, I said: "Get out of my house." The next five minutes, she got out of my house while he stayed on the bed. Fast forward to me screaming like a lunatic, crying, and basically letting it all out. He did absolutely nothing but sit there and take it. He was my roommate.
#5 That Girl
I didn’t walk in on it happening, but I saw it coming and did everything I could to stop it, including telling my girlfriend that if the woman I suspected her having a thing with came to my apartment while I wasn’t there, it was over between us. She constantly told me nothing was happening between them, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
When I was out of state for a funeral a week later, I went through the Google Home app and noticed recordings of the Google Home speaker being used after midnight. I listened to them and heard the recordings of my now ex-girlfriend and the other woman using my Google Home. I came back home four days later and asked my girlfriend as we laid in bed next to each other if anyone came to the apartment while I was gone.
She looked me in the eyes and said no. I said, again, was that girl in my apartment WHILE I WAS HOME FOR A FUNERAL? She continued looking me in the eyes, lying inches away from me and said no. I picked up my phone and played the Google Home recording, and asked her, “Then who the heck is this?”
She was a deer in the headlights. She couldn’t speak for five minutes. I told her she was a liar, a manipulator, and a coward, and I told her to get out.
#6 A Woman's Intuition
My ex always stayed up way later than me because of his shift patterns, so I’d gone to bed around midnight and he was up watching TV. For whatever reason, I couldn’t sleep well that night. I was in and out for a couple of hours. At about 2 a.m., I heard the bedroom door slowly open. I’m guessing he couldn’t see that I was awake in the darkness. Then he inched the door shut so it didn’t make a noise. I heard him put on his shoes and the front door slowly, carefully opening it and closing it.
He came back around 4 a.m. to find me sitting on the sofa. I just knew and his reaction confirmed it. We broke up that night but he was never brave enough to admit to that occasion of cheating or the dozens more that came before it. That I had to find out from others. Then, because we’d just signed a tenancy agreement, I had to live with him for almost a full year. Best. Year. Ever.
#7 A Case Of The Ex
This was so long ago that it is almost funny to think about it because it made me a better person... I truly believe that. In college, my scumbag boyfriend's ex-girlfriend was in town and we were all at a party together—they were from the same hometown and had a lot of mutual friends. I got tipsy and left, he told me he was staying and would come over in an hour.
I had a lot of friends there too who were keeping an eye out. I got home and immediately got a call from a friend that they snuck off together to his apartment (we lived in the same complex so it was about a four-minute walk away). I sprinted back to his place, my best friend sprinting after me and walked into his room to see them. My best friend ran in and punched the girl in the face.
All pretty much a blur after that... some yelling, crying, punching a wall, then I just went home and cried a bunch. About 10 years later, I wouldn't trade it for anything—it was a sobering experience and it made me stronger.
#8 Better Off
I found out he was cheating on me for four months while he was miles away. I was just angry as heck and punched a wall in my house. The morning after I found out, I went to work and I asked my boss to transfer me to another state... a few weeks after going to another state, I met the love of my life. And now we have a puppy and getting a house together.
#9 The Hulk Smash
I walked in and she was acting very nervous. She also wouldn’t let me walk to the room. It clicked and I got literal tunnel vision. Such a strange sensation. I don’t remember too much, but the outer edges of my vision were black and I could only hear my own breathing. I guess I pushed her aside like she was a broom (thankfully didn’t hurt her).
Then I went into the room and realized he was in the bathroom. What I remember is I opened the door like a regular person, but she says that I Hulk-smashed the door open with my fist. I grabbed him and calmly escorted him out of the house without saying a word. He was bawling like a 12-year-old girl. I closed the front door, turned around, and told her she had an hour to get all of her stuff and leave. I watched Sports Center until she was gone.
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#10 Three Months
I honestly thought I was in a great relationship with my significant other. One day after work, instead of heading home I headed to her place to surprise her. She's quiet, so I didn't hear anything until I got to her bedroom. And there she was, with the supposedly "really gay" roommate. They didn't even notice me just standing there for a solid five minutes until he looked at me and stopped. She was about to say something to him when she noticed me too.
It was pretty awkward for a couple of minutes. I think I blanked out. I looked around and saw the picture of me and her on the nightstand. I went and grabbed it and was looking at it. She had been cheating on me for over three months. I remember putting the picture of us down again and getting to her front door. I don't remember the three hours I roamed the streets just totally out of it. My phone had died so I grabbed a cab that was driving by and went home.
#11 No Biggie
We went on a brunch date after I stayed the night at her place. Some Irish dude was flirting with her while we ate and drank. I got up to use the washroom at some point. I was halfway through when she walked out the door holding hands with the dude from the bar. I wasn't even mad. I even waved as she left. I calmly sent a text saying we were done, which she didn't respond to until the next day. Apparently, I was overreacting, according to her. I laughed, hung up on her, then left to join my friends on the week-long camping trip we had planned.
#12 Pure Rage
Pure rage. I walked into my apartment hallway with them making out. I punched him. He fell down the apartment stairs. I punched him more. My friends dragged me inside. Then, it was my friends keeping me inside while they begged the cops to not arrest me. The dude said he didn’t wanna press charges since he knew he messed up. After the adrenaline wore off, it was mostly a lot of crying.
#13 Equally Responsible
I am a guy. It was my girlfriend of four years. The other person was one of my very best friends. It was my birthday. He went with her down to my car to get some cards from my car. They were taking a long time. I went to check on them and witnessed what I witnessed. Then I punched him in the mouth. They were both equally responsible and equally jerks.
#14 How I Deal
She left her Facebook open on my laptop that I let her use for school. We were together for four years and an engagement. During the affair, I paid her taxes and paid to remove her wisdom teeth all while she messed with the guy I " didn't need to worry about" in our bed... in our room... that I paid rent for. It really felt like getting hit by a bus; I couldn't breathe, threw up multiple times, and finally slept when I passed out tipsy.
#15 Channel The Anger
I distinctly remember thinking: "If I run fast enough and lift heavy enough, I won't be able to cry." I had attended a personal training session that morning, so when my trainer saw me again a few hours later, he knew something was wrong. We started boxing lessons a few weeks later. It helped with aggression. I now have a killer uppercut.
#16 No Happy Endings
I didn’t walk in, but I was helping her study and grabbed her phone from between us to Google something. I was immediately greeted with a long string of explicit texts with her “friend.” I set her phone down and left without a word. I sat in the fetal position beside my car in the parking deck for a good hour before I could even process it. We broke up later that day, she married him less than a year later, and they’re divorced now. No happy endings for anyone in that story.
#17 Get Out Of There
I pretty much found out when there were boxers in the washroom. We are both females. She came home from wherever she was and I put everything in the living room so she would see it as soon as she walked in. She walked in the front door, saw tears down my face, looked at the stuff and then just walked back out. The next thirty minutes were filled with tears, packing my stuff up, and getting the next flight to Washington.
#18 Razr Reveal
I didn’t walk in on them but my then-boyfriend called and asked me to drop off his phone at his work. I went to retrieve the phone and it vibrated, so I looked to see who it was. I found all sorts of communication from a woman that was NSFW. This was back in 2008 and my ex had a flip phone. I snapped it in half and threw it out.
#19 The First Time
I cracked the plaster on the wall with the back of my head. She said she was sorry, so sorry, that she didn’t want it to end things between us. I told her to leave, she eventually did. That...was the first time we broke up. Strangely, the others weren’t as bad, because I had already been through it. Still bad. But the final straw made it very easy to walk away.
I worked for a few months, saved everything I could, then moved across the country. The last text I got from her was: “Where are you? We need to talk. I’m coming over. Everyone’s telling me you moved but I know they’re lying.” I never have snappy comebacks and I never get revenge. But tapping the word “California” into my cheapie Nokia, and then sending it from the sunny streets of Venice to the icy winter hell of Minnesota is one of the best feelings I have ever had, after being hurt. It all started to get better from there.
She married an idiot knuckle-dragging caveman misogynist. She saw me on a TV show once and sent me a picture of herself in an effort to smooth things over. Time had not been kind.
#20 Google Spy
I didn't walk in on it but just found out Thursday that my wife had been seeing someone. FYI, Google tracks freaking everything on your phone and she used voice to text a lot so I could hear her messages... Confusion, pain, rage until I was numb. Over the next 30 minutes, I was yelling and the wall got punched a few times. I broke a remote.
#21 You've Changed
I walked in on best mate with my girlfriend of 7 years. I felt intense anger, I was yelling at him to get out and a fight broke out. Noses were broken, then he left. Overwhelming sadness, disbelief and then crying from me. She kept profusely apologizing, then she got overwhelmed and worked up herself into a crying fit. She locked herself in the bathroom. It took me a long time to recover from that. It changed me forever.
#22 On The Laptop
I didn't actually walk in on anything. I knew there was a guy that she texted back and forth which a bit. I had asked about it but she always wrote it off with a variety of excuses and I didn't push it because I thought that I should actively trust my wife. One day, she went out to lunch with her sister who came into town. I just got a strange feeling that I needed to look at her laptop. The first email I saw was a flight confirmation to where he lived. Then I found the record of their Facebook video chats which were all followed by "I love you" back and forth.
My first reaction was to try and find a reasonable explanation. Once I quickly realized that there wasn't one I didn't know what to do at all. I slammed the laptop, then felt bad for slamming it because I knew the hinge was already in bad shape. I started pacing around my apartment running my hands through my hair. I knew that was cliche but I didn't know any way to express what was inside so I think I defaulted to what I knew.
I texted her and told her that she needed to come because I wasn't okay. When she came in she hugged me and asked what was wrong. I still wanted to believe that it was all a misunderstanding so I asked about the flight and why she hadn't told me. She knew she was caught and basically sat there while I yelled for a while. Eventually, I couldn't take her not saying anything so I left to take the dog out and tried to calm down.
#23 A Deep Cut
It was like time stopped like in a Wes Anderson movie. Everything was slow motion. He was passed out naked in his bed with some chick who told me to close the door. His housemate was rambling something frantically in front of me but I was not there. I remember getting into the car and driving to a park, sitting in the driver's seat until I burst into tears. It was incredibly disassociated. It broke my heart but I wasn't conscious when it happened. I relate it to a deep cut. There is a few moments of nothing until the blood starts to pour out uncontrollably and the excruciating pain starts.
#24 Fiery Revenge
They didn’t notice me when I walked in. I let them finish. Then I set her car on fire, with all her stuff inside. I made the dude run away naked while I threw rocks at him until he was too far away to get hit. To top it all off, this was the day I got back from deployment. That was probably one of the worst days of my life, but I'm better now.
#25 Seeing Red
I just saw red. I dragged him out of the bed and threw him down the stairs naked. I kicked him out of the house and had him run naked. I walked up, grabbed my stuff, ignored her pleas and left. The dude was an acquaintance of ours so knew about us. He wasn't innocent and neither was she. I was absolutely heartbroken.
#26 Life's Too Short
We had kids and my youngest was 10 months old. I didn’t want to be a single dad raising three little kids on my own. I thought we could fix everything because we were married. Looking back, I should have kicked her to the curb and saved myself a lot of unnecessary stress. She got to the point where it was like having a teenage daughter and I was constantly having to question her every move. My dad later died and I decided I just couldn’t continue to try. Life is far too short.
#27 Coming Home To That
Lots of screaming and cussing from him. I had walked in on that, in my bed, with my friend, when I had just worked a 20-hour shift, I was officially done. I also went to the hospital because when I tried to pack his stuff, he headbutted me and broke my nose. So glad that jerk face is gone. I should have pressed charges but I just wanted him out of my life.
#28 Birthday Surprise
On my birthday, I got sick so I couldn’t go out and celebrate, but my now ex-wife had arranged a big celebration with lots of friends, so she went out. I just went to bed and slept. 2 a.m. rolled around and she climbed into bed which woke me up. She didn't notice though. She then started texting and trying to take nude pictures to guys.
I saw, because I was awake, took the phone from her, then went through everything. She had multiple dating apps, was texting as many as 20 other guys and sending them naked pictures. All of them were taken while I was at home either in another room or sleeping. The next 30 minutes were her sitting in silence and me packing my stuff to go to a hotel for the weekend. And then the following few weeks were spent with her telling me it was all my fault.
We’re not together anymore, clearly.
#29 A Single Flash
I never walked in on her, but I found out she'd been cheating on me when she was upstairs taking a shower. Her other boyfriend sent her a text and it flashed up on the screen, and I saw enough to know. I had about 15 minutes to sort it. I quite angrily piled up all her stuff and got angrier and angrier. She came downstairs and was surprised to see me so angry. I am a very, very calm person. I told her to remove everything of hers within a week and she didn't then I'd no longer be responsible for it.
#30 Good Boss
I stuck them in the bedroom and trashed everything she owned that could be destroyed by hand. I had just gotten her and the guy she cheated with a job at the place that I worked at so I called our boss. At that point, I was weirdly calm and I explained what happened and that I wasn't going to be in for a week. My boss was cool with it and covered for me. I miss that job sometimes.
#31 A Different Kind Of Cheat
This is hard to talk about, but I’ll do it. About two years ago, my wife of eight years was constantly working out... or so I thought, trying to lose the pregnancy weight. Seeing that I could lose some weight, I decided to join in. Well, I went one day when she was at the gym and what do I see? Her car was in the parking lot but my wife was nowhere to be found.
I walked around and she was at the Tropical Smoothie eating and working on her laptop. I asked her what she was doing there instead of working out. I’ll never forget that she whispered, “I don’t eat terribly every meal... I love you, but walk over to that elliptical and do it.”
Days went by and I worked out like crazy. I lost some weight and then it turned out my wife got a prescription for Adderall. She so, so cheated.
#32 Starting Over
I drove home from work at 2 a.m. because I knew what was happening, but she didn’t know I knew. I walked in, tossed my keys down, walked in and said: “You stupid idiots.” They both shot up, she hid in the bathroom, and I told him it was best for him to leave. After explaining to her why she was a stupid idiot, I walked out the door and went back to work. The whole ride back (about 20 minutes) I was just trembling with anger. I got back to work and just started crying. It was rough, but it got better as time went on. This was like 5 months ago. Since then, I’ve moved to a new city and am enjoying life more than ever.
#33 Making A Scene
My stepdad walked in on his second wife with another woman. They were living on a facility with the Texas Department of Corrections and the woman was another guard. He threw her outside naked and then spent the next couple of minutes arguing with his boss to let her back in because the trustees were all staring.
#34 Surprise Party
Well, it was a surprise birthday that my ex threw for me. Later on, I walked into my bedroom and caught my ex-best friend on top of him. I closed the door, walked away and poured myself another drink. I kicked them both out the next morning. I probably shouldn't have even let them stay the night, but whatever. Surprise party indeed.
#35 See You Later
I didn't walk on in him but... I did catch my abusive ex-husband cheating on me with multiple women the day before he deployed to Afghanistan for a year by opening his iPad and finding all the messages he'd sent.
I went totally frozen, then had adrenaline shakes I couldn't control. I called him (he was at physical training) and told him I wanted to file for divorce before he left the next day. I took screenshots of every single conversation, just in case. Then I took a shower, put on my makeup, did my hair, and packed all of his stuff into a bin that I put on the front porch.
#36 It's Just Allergies
I knew something fishy was going on. He was hiding his phone, being extra weird about his screen. He was outside on the back porch talking to his "friend" for half an hour, so I went out to check on him. I confronted him once he came back inside. All his lies weren't adding up. I felt so weak with rage and anger like I could just pass out. We talked for a while; I don't even remember what he said (it didn't matter, it turned out to be a lie anyway). I cried so hard my chest felt like it had been ripped open. Pretty sure I never actually slept that night. I had to make excuses about allergies at work the next day to cover my red swollen face and occasional tears.
#37 Laughing Like A Villain
Honestly, I just laughed like a maniacal villain. He told me he’d cheated after we broke up, after having dated for six months. He broke my heart, I was furious, etc. Basically, he told me he was being eaten alive by the secret and he had to come clean. I laughed in his face and I told him I would never, ever forgive him. He’d have to live with that forever. Almost five years later and he still asks for my forgiveness every so often.
#38 I Drove All Night
Equal parts anger, sadness, and emptiness. Uncertain of what to process first; the fact that my life was forever changed in the blink of an eye, or anger that someone so close to me could betray me so thoroughly and completely. It sucked. It was really confusing, not just because I didn't understand why, but because I really didn't know what to do first. Start moving my things? Yell? I went for a drive and called a friend.
#39 Return Policy
We had just moved in together. I got off work early and knew immediately whose car was parked outside. I walked in and they were in the bedroom. I walked to my safe, started unlocking it and they both jumped up and tried to calm me down. I pulled out the engagement ring I was waiting to give her, and just said: "Hey, I got to take this back; tomorrow’s the last day I can get a refund." I called some buddies we took it back. We went on a three-day bender, then went back and got my stuff.
#40 Such Nonsense
She told me she slept with her ex while we were walking to my house. I felt like I got punched in the gut, I felt nauseous and my vision legitimately went kind of fuzzy. After about a couple of minutes of silence, she started going on about how she felt awful, used and manipulated by her ex. Being extremely naive and having fallen in love with her, I started comforting her. I had just been told I was cheated on by my girlfriend at the time and I comforted her. Such nonsense.
#41 Just A Young Lass
I went blank and instantly I felt everything go to heck. It was similar to that drop of your stomach, surreal feeling you get when you find out someone passed away... But I was also really angry. If I’m honest, that moment changed me. I was but a young lass; so young... he was my first love and he fooled around with my best friend.
#42 I Don't Love You
My first "true love," someone I honestly thought was my soul mate, ended up fooling around with some dude. We started messing around about four years later and she had a boyfriend. I was the side-dude. I was madly in love and I tried to convince her to leave him for me because I didn't enjoy what we were doing. Then she laid it out for me: "I don't love you. You just provide what he can't while he's away. The attention, etc." It ruined me. I'm in a great relationship now and I'm happy.
#43 Last Bite
I didn't walk in, but in the middle of making our dinner, I saw a text on her phone from my best friend talking about the last time they fooled around... I ended up finishing my mac n' cheese before saying anything because I was freaking hungry and I wanted one last good meal before stuff exploded. I ended up breaking things, yelling, and throwing her out.
#44 Thick Skin
I found out by hacking her Blackberry. She had multiple ex-boyfriends throughout our marriage. I experienced 30 minutes of head-spinning and my whole world disintegrating. It took me five years to get over the horror. I'm happy now though and stronger. It's on her, not on me. It wasn't really about me. I don't trust as easily, but I don't let the past destroy my future. I survived the ultimate betrayal, and I could do so again if necessary. It hardens you.
#45 How Do You Stop It?
HOW DO YOU AVOID THIS? You can be married for 20 years, have kids, never see any signs, and still not be safe. No amount of trust is enough. Commitments don't stop people from doing things, they just make semi-decent people feel obligated to apologize after. I don't know how to live in a world like this. There is no trust. How do you stop it?
#46 The Worst Heartbreak
I used to work at a middle-of-the-road paper company. My fiancé was the receptionist and I worked in the warehouse. Everything seemed fine to me but apparently she was unhappy. I knew they were friends but didn’t think anything else of it. I mean I trusted her. Well, I found out the dude who I thought was just her friend told her he loved her and kissed her. I blew up, got super ticked off. I punched the dude and she dumped me. I tried to win her back but eventually had to move on. She ended up with that dude and they have two kids now.
#47 Surprise, Surprise
Back then, I had a group of friends, and my boyfriend started going out with us. We were all inseparable. One day, there was this party I said I couldn't go to, so they went without me. I said I was okay with it. Later that day, I ended up being able to show up at this party, but when I got there, I came into a room and found my best friend and my boyfriend fooling around. They didn't see me. I took that chance to hatch my ultimate revenge plot. I took pictures of them and sent it to everyone we knew, so they would know the truth of how shady they really were. Then, I went home and never spoke to any of them again. It's been two years I think. Now, I realize I'm much better without them. We were a mess.
#48 Let Me Heal
I was pretty much just shaking, so I walked my bike home and just went... "Huh, well that sucks" She kept trying to call the house phone but I wasn't answering. It's worse when they try to fix it and come crying at you at work, school, home... Just tick off. You cheated. We're done. It's like a fuse blew and that's it... The connection is terminated for that level of betrayal. Now leave me alone so I can heal and find someone else.
#49 Murderous Rage
I found out via her leaving her Facebook open. Murderous rage. Spite. It's been five years and the dude still better hope I don't run into him; I'm not sure I could control myself. Everyone knows about her and how she did me wrong. A part of me hopes that the guilt is burned into her conscience, just haunting her... but she probably doesn't even care. She never did.
#50 A Clean Break
Not 30 minutes, but things just kind of went black for the next couple of days. It was actually a really clean break though since nobody ever heard from him again, but I do wonder what happened to him from time to time.