January 26, 2023 | Jess Silverberg

People Share The Unwritten Rules Of Being A Man And A Woman

As humans, we strive to establish a "right" way of doing things in order to maximize order and minimize chaos in our society. Over the years, this has led to the development of certain generalizations that are specific to both genders, male and female. Most of these are unwritten rules are, for the most part, universally accepted by everyone; however, they are always subject to updates due to the changing times. People around the world took to the internet to share the unwritten rules of being a man and woman, and it seems like everyone is roughly on the same page. Do you agree with their opinions and perspectives? Keep reading and judge for yourself:


#1 Generosity Pays

Be generous with your closest friends. Buy them an occasional beer or their favorite soft drink without "keeping score" of whose turn it is to pay. I make a lot more money than my best friend. We don't talk about it and I never throw anything in his face, but if I want to go to a baseball game with him or take a road trip he knows that "not being able to afford it" doesn't have to be a reason for not going. He's my bro and I've got him covered.


#2 Help Your Girls

If another lady walks past and you notice a spot on the back of their pants or skirt, tell them, but do it discreetly. Recently, I noticed a passenger had a spot on her pants. I wrote her a note and slipped it to her as I was collecting trash from the carriage. Half an hour later, I saw her again and she had on a different change of pants. She was super thankful.


#3 When Loaning Money...

If somebody loans me money it's my job to remember to pay back, not theirs to collect. I once heard a saying: "if you loan somebody money and never hear from them again, consider it money well spent." It makes me feel better about a pretty good sum of money I'm never seeing again.  Until they pay you back, just assume they never will.


#4 The Nod Code

Upwards nod means we're friends and I'm acknowledging you. Downwards nod means I don't know you but I'm acknowledging you. This is so true to the point where if you reverse it by accident, you won’t get acknowledged. I was extremely tired and broke the code by upward nodding to a stranger and they looked at me confused. They just walked away without giving me a nod. It took me until I got home to realize my mistake.


#5 Tell Her

Do you see a girl with her skirt tucked into her tights, tissue stuck to her shoe, or lipstick on her teeth? TELL HER. This happened once in college when I was working retail. I was leaving the store's restroom and one of my coworkers, who was always a nasty witch to me for whatever reason, had tucked her skirt into her underwear. I debated whether or not to say anything, and then went with my gut and alerted her of the situation. She was always super nice to me after that.


#6 Guy Code Basics

Guy Code: 1) Don't try to get with someone else's partner. 2) Always give at least one space for urinals. 3) Head nod. For #3—we got some new neighbors recently and he just stares in disgust as if you insulted him whenever you nod at him. I think we're going to fight soon. I've tried down nod, up nod, and even verbally said hello a couple of times. All he does is stare like an idiot.


#7 Let Them Be Kind

If someone offers to pay, you should ask them if they are sure. If they are, then it is rude to further reject what is supposed to be a kindness on their part.

"I got the bill."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

"Thank you."


#8 "I Won't Tell Anyone"

When a girl says, "I won't tell anyone," what she really means is: "I won't tell anyone except my best friend." Sometimes I want to go "My friend does..." to someone who I know will have no idea who I'm talking about and will not care. Or, "anyone but my spouse". My wife and I do this... but maybe it's just because we're already best friends anyway...


#9 Light The Beacons

If you hear anything about a girl having a thing for your bro, you tell him immediately. I don't care if you're in the jungle with no cell phone service, you walk back to the nearest cell phone tower and let him know so he can get with her. LIGHT THE BEACONS and my man shall answer.


#10 Moving Rules

If your friends help you move, you are expected to: 1) be packed already, and 2) provide pizza and drinks. If you're one of the friends, the trick is to have your own cut-off time, and if it makes you feel better, to make up a reason why you need to leave. “I can be there at noon, but I have a dentist appointment at 4 p.m.” If you say this ahead of time, they will think, “Cool, we should be done before 4 .p.m.” It won’t be, but it won’t be your problem. That way, it doesn’t much matter what stage of packing they are in—you help, you leave.


#11 More Guy Code

Guy code 1) Never try to get with a friend's past flame without explicit discussion and permission. 2) Gas your friend up when their crush is present. 3) The driver gets the AUX cable until responsibility is delegated. 4) Heart-to-hearts are for after 3 a.m.


#12 Friend Or Enemy

My girlfriend was telling me last night that she always carries an extra pad or tampon because you’ll never know when another woman may need one and not have one. She said it’s an unwritten rule for women that even if you hate the person, you will give them one if they need it. It got me thinking about what other unwritten rules have I not heard of.


#13 Girl Code Basics

Girl code: if something is fixable within five minutes (make-up, something stuck in teeth, small things on appearance) you tell her and help her if needed. if it isn't fixable on the spot, you keep your mouth shut and ESPECIALLY don't point it out to others.


#14 Universal Laws

The last slice of pizza or last pop can always goes to who paid for it. If you all chipped in, you don't have to ask, but you have to tell. And never take both in the same hangout, no matter what the earlier rules say.

Never mess with the music in another person's car. I don't care HOW bad you think their taste is.

If you know someone else had a regrettable hookup... no, you don't. Not even if you fall out and become enemies. You don't remember.


#15 More Girl Code

I only had one chance to exercise this girl code rule, but once I was passing a girl in the lobby of a building and she told me that she had just gotten a straight perm and was waiting for the rain to pass before she went outside. So I let her share my umbrella for four to five blocks while we walked to a bus stop together. I would do that for any woman if it happened again.


#16 The Bro Favor

When your best friend passes away, you have to delete his internet history. Common courtesy. Or better yet, forget formatting the drives. Leave instructions to 1) have your hard drives disassembled, 2) have the discs magnetically scrubbed, 3) have the discs thrown into a grinder, and 4) have the powder scattered at sea with your ashes.


#17 Never Kiss And Tell

I've always abided by "a gentleman never kisses and tells" and even with my closest friends have usually tried to keep things to broad strokes. But in my experience, most women tend not to abide and will go into minute detail about ALL OF IT.


#18 Help Each Other Out

If you see another girl in an uncomfortable situation, you try to get her out of there or at least let her know that you got her back. I've done it for everyone, from my sister to my friend's moms. One time at a school event, my best friend's mom somehow ended getting unsolicited touching from another parent with boundary issues and I quickly made an excuse up that I needed help at the concession stand. No one is too old or too young to do this!


#19 Wingman Appreciation

"Thou shalt never hold a bro's wingman duties against him." When you're chatting up a girl, I don't care how unattractive the friend he's flirting with is, or how bad his flirting technique is... When he's distracting the air defenses to give you a clear run at the target, you do not insult his flying.


#20 Heavy Lifting

As a guy who lifts weights and has brought some of his other male (and two female friends) into the fold—you never, EVER, slander another person's weight on any lift. If your friend is 250 pounds and only benches 135 but is trying his butt off, then you never make a sound other than howling intense encouragement at them. The rule in my basement is, everything is heavy to SOMEBODY. As long as you're giving it your all, then the number is irrelevant.


#21 Silence Only

Silence at the urinal, man. I will not speak to you unless I require immediate medical attention and you appear to be a doctor. If possible, I will take a urinal at least one urinal away from anyone else, and select spacing to maximize the number of potential guys who needn't stand shoulder-to-shoulder.


#22 Need Better Friends

Lightly picking on each other is a sign of endearment, but you should always be trying to build each other up. Don't put someone else down just to make yourself look or feel better. Everyone wants to feel important and the center of attention sometimes. Don't go for someone that your friends are deeply invested in, even if it's not going to go anywhere. I wish I had friends who followed any of these.


#23 My Ride, My Rules

Recently, I went to San Diego comic con with a couple of friends of mine. One of them is notorious for being extremely picky in his taste of music. I drove both ways for three days in a row, paying for gas as well—I should at least get a choice of music. Instead, he insults my music choice and changes it every time he gets the chance. Guess who isn't getting anymore rides for a few weeks?

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#24 Rules To Giving Compliments

If you're a stranger, particularly if you're a guy, only compliment the things you wouldn't get slapped for touching. Hair and clothing? Great. Facial feature or tattoo? Maybe. Sensitive body areas? Shut the heck up. I also do not condone or encourage touching strangers, especially their eyeballs.


#25 The Female Consideration

This is going to sound weird as a guy code thing as it’s actually a bro thing to do for women:

If I happen to be walking somewhere at night (think grocery store parking lot) and I’m behind a woman, I always scuff my feet or something so that she doesn’t get freaked out by a man popping out of nowhere. As a fast walker, I will usually also slow my pace so she doesn’t think I’m trying to gain on her or anything. Women’s lives are filled with these safety-related mini panic attacks, and as a guy, I try to do my best to not cause them.


#26 On Male Intimacy

At least two pats on the back when hugging another guy. No sniffing their neck either, it is kind of frowned upon.


#27 How Males Hug

Guy code: when greeting someone and you're not sure if they're a hugger, always shake their hand first... it allows them to throw up the other arm for a hug if they're down for it.


#28 The Human Code

I just go by "human code." If you look homeless and hungry I will buy your food. If you drop stuff I'll help you pick it up even if you didn't need help. I will always let one person cut in front of me in merging traffic. If you start telling a story in a group and everyone starts talking over you, I will say, "And then what happened?" and listen even if no one else is. I always leave a public bathroom cleaner than I found it. My life motto is don't be a jerk. Doesn't matter the gender.


#29 Your Shots, Your Toast

The person who buys the shots makes the toast. Too many times I've seen someone buy a round of shots, and someone else jumps in with a toast. If you want to make a toast, buy everyone another round! My stepfather still won’t shut up about my buddy that hijacked his toast. Every time we mention said friend, he'll say: “Oh, you mean the jerk that tried to drop a toast on my round.” Totally get it, don’t break this rule!

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#30 Situational Notifications

Generally, I tell someone about anything they can fix right away. Spinach in their teeth? Tell them. Toilet paper on the shoe? Tell them. Shirt on inside out? Tell them. Getting kind of fat? Shut the heck up. Don't like their new haircut? Shut the heck up.


#31 No Filter

Never admit to checking out someone’s girlfriend or spouse. This just happened to me. My husband and I went on vacation with another couple. We all got tipsy and the husband's friend goes, “Dang your wife has a nice bum! My wife could learn something from her!” They laughed but this is not something you say to two women in bathing suits. Uncomfortable all around.


#32 Even More Girl Code

If a girl, stranger or not, needs a brush, chapstick, a hair tie or a tampon, you are immediately obligated to supply her with it if you have it. If a girl has pockets in her dress, you must always compliment her on the pockets on her dress so she can stick her hands in them and model them for a minute. If you see another girl looking upset, scared or uncomfortable because some dude is trying too hard and being creepy, you jump in the convo like she’s your best friend and generate some story to get them away without an explanation. “Look what I found, come here,” And completely ignore the guy.

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#33 Sisters Before Misters

I'm engaged now, but when I was single, I refused to ever get even slightly involved with a guy one of my girlfriends had been romantically involved with in the past. Even if my friend claimed it "wasn't a big deal" or that she was fine with it. I know that at the end of the day if you truly care about your friendship, you won't go after their ex-flames. Even if the two were never "official."

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#34 The Bro Discount

If you sell a buddy a car (or anything of value) cheaper than normal because they are a friend, that friend must offer to sell it back to you before offering it to the general public.


#35 Friends Don't Trash Talk

I have a friend who's girlfriend is the overinvolved type. We went on a school trip to another country and she did not go. Every night, our co-ed friend group would meet in one room and all hangout, and the girlfriend didn't like that her boyfriend (my friend) was on the same bed as another girl. Most people just started talking trash about her but I felt extremely awkward and would never do that myself. It must not feel great for the boyfriend either.


#36 Good Sportsmanship

This mainly applies to younger people still in high school. If you're hanging out with friends and go to get a soda or something, you bring one for your friend who can't always afford it. Also for people who skateboard or bike or any other sport like that. If your friend can't afford new parts but needs them, you give him some of your old stuff when you replace it if it's still got some life left. I try to do this with bearings and very occasionally decks if they're in decent condition and wheels. It helps keep a good image in the sports community and helps people out.


#37 My Petty Sister

Cue my sister: she carries two kinds of pads and tampons for backups. For the people she likes, she carries the fairly nice stuff that she uses herself. For the people she doesn't like, she carries the cheapest, nastiest dollar store tampons and pads you can imagine, made out of cardboard and orphan tears. Yeah, my sister is petty.


#38 Match The Gas

If you borrow a buddy's pickup to move a couch, BBQ, dresser, whatever it is, you return it with a full tank of gas, regardless of how much was in it, to begin with. Actually, this is just common courtesy and extends to any vehicle you use that is not yours.


#39 Bro Defenses

When guys get to a bar or a big party, the first thing they do is instinctively scan the room for signs of any potential troublemakers. Usually, the telltale sign is a very loud, rowdy person who is drinking a lot. Once that person is spotted, every guy in there keeps their eye on him throughout the evening. Often in the presence of such a troublemaker, you’ll see guys making eye contact and nods of acknowledgment to other guys they’ve never seen or met before. This is the silent way that we say, “If this jerk starts something, I got your back.”


#40 Hook-Up Culture

I used to have a "Don't hit on friends ex's rule." I have since amended it to "Check with a friend to see if it's cool if I hit on their ex." I've done this because of the whole hook-up culture we seem to be in now. I don't want to hurt a friend by dating someone they were really in love with, but if it was just a one-night thing, then I don't want to totally write the girl off.


#41 Car Problems

My grandpa gave me a car. When my brother needed it, I gave it to him. When my sister needed it, he gave it to her. When it needed brakes and exhaust work, she took it to the junkyard and kept the money. I'm still bitter. That car had enormous sentimental value. It was a 1990 Oldsmobile ninety-eight. It was so freaking cool. Ugh.


#42 Bro By Proxy

If you encounter a bro’s family member or close friend, or significant other, and that person needs your assistance in any way, it is your bro obligation to do everything you can to help. You are your bro by proxy in that situation. For example, I saw my friend’s girl at a bar once and she had been left by her ride. She was sloshed and wasn’t thinking clearly (she didn’t normally drink and was upset about something). I got one of my female friends and we took her home. She was feeling sick, so we put her on the couch in the living room and kept an eye on her until the wee hours in the morning. She was fine in the end.


#43 Have Their Backs

Have your boy's back in an altercation, fight pr argument. I'm not saying 100% of the time step up for them; sometimes people do dumb things and deserve the consequences. But if the need arises, you should have their back. Even if it just means stepping up beside them to look intimidating.


#44 Just Be Helpful

I have a good friend that makes quite a bit more money than I do. When I got laid off due to a myriad of health issues, most of which were the kind that needed referrals to UofM. I could not drive anymore, could not work anymore. He took me to every single appointment. If there was a game on of the NHL or NFL variety, he took me to those to help me get my mind off things. He helped me apply for low-income housing, disability, and paid my rent and utilities until said disability came in. I paid him back of course with my disability back pay, but he is the best bro I have ever known. And to his wife as well she helped a lot too. Great people.

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#45 Do It For The Bro

Should a bro pass out in a weight lifting accident, a bro will add at least 100 lbs to the bar before reporting the incident. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve done this for bros. Happens more times than you think. When you lose count, that's when it starts to look suspicious, though.



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