Wedding Guests Who Didn’t ‘Forever Hold Their Peace’ Share The Aftermath
There’s nothing more nerve-wracking in life than your wedding day. You have the perfect outfit lined up to wear. All of your friends and family are present to watch this spectacular moment. You look deep into your significant other’s eyes. When the priest states, “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” you expect nothing to happen. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case with some weddings.
You might only expect to see it on TV, but some weddings get disrupted by various objections. When it happens, many people, including the bride and groom, don’t exactly know how to respond. Whether or not the couple goes through with it, that particular moment will stick with them forever.
We scoured the Internet to find some real-life stories of folks throwing their two cents into the ceremony. You wouldn’t believe who exactly made their voices heard at such a memorable event. Don’t let these incidents give you second thoughts on your ceremony, though.
#35 Read The Sign, Sis!
My sister was marrying this terrible guy. He was a cheater, took money from tip jars, had like five kids, and was an ex-con. He was acting like he was a good godfearin’ angel of a man around my sister. My other sister, me, and my brothers decided we were going to plaster pictures of him with other women on some signs, and we held them up during the ceremony.
#34 Heads Or Tails?
My uncle went to his best friend’s wedding and the groom asked my uncle to do him a favor. When the minister asked if there were any objections my uncle stood up and claimed he did. The groom said well, Ok, I’ll flip a coin to settle this. Then he flipped a coin and said, Oh well, guess I’m getting married. The groom hadn’t told his bride beforehand and after she was pretty mad.
#33 Walk The Plank
When my neighbors got married, they had a pirate themed wedding on a tall ship anchored in the harbor. They had met in fencing class and are also some of the most eccentric people I’ve ever met. When the officiant asked the question, one of their fencing buddies stood up and yelled that the bride deserved better, and the groom was nothing but a swashbuckling good-for-nothing. So the groom challenged him to a duel, they fenced their way up the aisle and the groom threw him over the edge of the boat.
They’ve been just as entertaining to live next door to ever since.
#32 A Trifecta Of Love
Attended the wedding of a friend of mine, it was smallish with like 100 people. Anyways, ‘speak now or forever hold your…’
Bride’s girlfriend: I’m in love with you!
Bride/groom: We love you too!
Dead silence followed by laughter a good 30 full seconds later
It turns out they had planned this. I knew they were in a polyamorous relationship as did many of the people there. The priest did not know. All in all, cute and funny though it was shocking for a minute there.
#31 Fishing For Trouble
My husband and I got married in a public park, near a bay that we grew up fishing in.
Mid-ceremony, a little fishing boat motors on by, with two guys in it. They are probably about 80 yards away, holding beers. One says “Look, it’s a wedding.” About a minute later, the other yells, “SHE DON’T EVEN LIKE YOU!” My mother-in-law yelled back, “DON’T MAKE ME CUT YOU AT MY SON’S WEDDING.”
Forever immortalized in my wedding video. That’s what I get for having a wedding in a public area.
#30 Enjoy The Silence
I was at a beach wedding. The officiant was using a small microphone/speaker setup but (a) it was set too low and (b) the wind was blowing pretty hard so it was difficult for everyone to hear her.
So, at the beginning of the ceremony, she asks everyone to stand and she goes into her speech. And yeah, it dragged on a little bit. So after four or five minutes with everyone still on their feet, she gets to “and if anyone has any objections, let them speak now or forever hold their peace…” and in the silence that follows, one woman’s shrill voice rings out from the crowd:
“Can we sit down now?!?”
#29 A Hidden Ring
My dad is a minister. He once had a lady stand up in the church and say that the marriage couldn’t go forward because she was still married to the groom.
#28 In Your Neck Of The Woods
My wife’s grandmother was a sweet woman who was battling dementia and Alzheimer’s. When it came to that part of the ceremony, she blurted out, “Women aren’t allowed to marry people!” (Our officiant was a female minister). After a short pause and some shushing from the family, she then exclaimed: “BUT HE LOOKS LIKE AL ROKER!” I’m a pasty Irish boy, for what it’s worth.
#27 Rendezvous In China
Priest: “Any reason why these two should not be wed?”
The girlfriend of best man: “THAT AIN’T YER KID IN THERE!!”
Best man was sleeping with his fiancee since the grooms two-month trip to China. He thought he was great at hiding it from his girlfriend. He was not. Think three relationships ended there and a few more friendships.
#26 South Of The Border
Not my wedding, nor my piece that didn’t get held.
The morning before his wedding, my best friend’s crazy uncle (you know, that one black sheep uncle that everybody seems to have), shows up at his door. “You don’t have to do this. We’re two hours drive from Mexico, here’s the keys to my car, the tank is full, and here’s ten grand in cash.” My buddy laughs and closes the door on him.
Later, during this very fancy, very prim and proper Catholic wedding, it comes to the ‘anybody here’ part. Immediately that uncle stands up in the pew, in the back, starts rattling his car keys as loud as he can, and yells “TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN, BOY!”
#25 A Breakfast Mishap
My favorite was a wedding I went to for a friend where when they asked this question the father of the bride unloaded a fart that echoed off the church bench so loud that everyone stopped and just looked at him.
The bride started laughing so hard that her face turned bright red and she had to sit down. Ten minutes of her laughing so hard she didn’t make a sound while the rest of the church laughed. Finally, the dad stands up and says “Look I had a bagel this morning, it didn’t sit well”. The mother of the bride hit him but laughed and everyone laughed again. Was probably the best wedding I have ever seen.
#24 Throwdown At The Aisle
At my cousin’s wedding, it was a full-on, two-hour long Catholic affair with hymns, blessings, verse readings, etc. Anyway, the priest asked the question and my cousin’s brother stood up, adjusted his shirt, stared at my cousin getting married for what felt like forever, grinned then slowly sat down.
My cousin getting married went completely insane, ran down from the altar and socked him right in the nose, screaming, “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING!?”
And that’s how I was a part of a MASS brawl.
#23 Keeping His Word
This might sound bizarre, but once, I went to a distant relative’s wedding. When the priest said ‘if anyone wants to oppose…” a guy, who was drunk, stood up and yelled, “I do”. He then created a huge commotion and managed to punch the groom in the face, sending him to the ground. Then the cops arrived and took him away. Later, I learned that he was the bride’s ex and had vowed to her when they broke up that he would ruin her wedding.
#22 A Son’s Denial
My god son objected at my wedding. He screamed “nooooo” at the top of his voice once the registrar asked the question. Luckily he was only one at the time so we all had a good laugh and carried on. The photographer managed to get a great picture of the exact moment everyone started laughing. Poor little bugger.
#21 Timeout In A Trunk
I saw someone object once. It was an outdoor wedding and the guy performing the ceremony asked if anyone objects and someone stands up and say “I do! I object!”. He was promptly grabbed by a couple of guys and thrown in a trunk. That was a fun wedding.
#20 Grandma Knows Best
Attended my cousin’s wedding, he was getting married to a woman who was all about the money and glamour and preferred going out and drinking to taking care of the daughter they already had. But they tied the knot anyway.
Soon as the “speak now” line was spoken, my grandma made the loudest “Ha!” and mumbled something. It was well-known that grandma didn’t like the bride one bit. The acoustics of the church didn’t help at all either, it was so loud. The bride and her mother both stared daggers while the rest of us tried to contain our laughter because it was Grandma and that’s what she does.
The next day both the bride and her mother went to my grandma’s house uninvited and they had a verbal brawl, someone got shoved out the door and a pot was broken.
The silly woman left my cousin two years later. Good riddance.
#19 Gunfight At The O.K. Corral
I got married in March. We had a Wild West Wedding complete with antique pistols and a saloon reception.
When that line was said (as was the plan) my Man of Honor stepped out of the wedding party line and objected.
He was then shot on the spot by my husband (unloaded antique pistol, so it just made a loud noise)
My new brother in law then dragged him off to the side where he remained for the rest of the ceremony.
There is a great photo of us at the front with me clutching my pearls while my husband stands with six shooters in each hand asking “anybody else?!”.
#18 Heads Will Turn
My friend Dan, at his mother’s wedding to stepdad number one, he cleared his throat twice as loud as you could possibly imagine. His mother’s head span round like the girl from the exorcist, the death stare she gave him was intense, he said nothing more and the wedding went ahead. His point was made.
#17 Worth 1,000 Words
At a friends wedding, when the question was asked, another friend’s girlfriend sitting at the back wasn’t paying attention and stood up to take a picture immediately after the question had been asked. Good times!
#16 A Hurtful Truth
I had to let my buddy know that I had been sleeping with his fiance for years. I never expected them to actually get married or stay together, as we were close to 30 and she was 18 when they got together, so I didn’t feel bad for doing it until I saw him standing there in front of everyone. I couldn’t let him ruin his life. He hates me now, to be expected, but I still feel like I did him a solid at the end there.
#15 That’s Ice Cold
When I was about 15, I was at my uncle’s wedding. When they asked if anyone objected, my dad slipped ice down the back of my shirt. I preceded to jump up startled and everyone turned to me in shock. I sit back down without saying a word and my dad laughed like a hyena. Everyone was very confused.
#14 Law On Their Side
My friend’s older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a Judge who was a friend of theirs.
He and his fiancee thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell, “I object” to which the judge yelled, “Overruled!”. It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don’t think some of their family members got it.
#13 A Message From Above?
My wedding. Got married in a two-hundred-year-old chapel. It had these tremendously heavy doors behind the alter that in my lifetime of going to mass there, I’d never seen opened. Just when the priest asked for objections, a gust of wind blew both sets of doors wide open. It took about six men to force them closed again. The priest just calmly looked up and said, “Okay. Okay. We hear you.” Then he raised one eyebrow at the two of us. The wedding went on as planned, the marriage did not.
#12 Wild Is The Wind
How do you know, for sure, that you have raised a good-humored and easy-going adult? You fart at her wedding riiiiight at the crucial moment—like really rip a cheek-flapping, pew-brapping tooter at the one marked pauses in the ceremony—and she laughs, like sit down on the floor and bring the wedding to a halt laughs.
She’s a good egg.
#11 March Of The Crabs
A few years after I graduated from college, a distant friend from high-school asked if I would stand up in her wedding because one of the members of the wedding party had backed out. I said sure, happy to do so because I would be at the wedding anyway. I show up at the wedding as the replacement member of the wedding party and assume my place at the front of the church during the ceremony. At the point in the ceremony where the minister asks people ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ this person who I replaced in the wedding party shows up at the chapel, points to the happy couple and says, “I got crabs from them”. Seems the happy couple had relations with this person sometime before the wedding which is why I had to replace that person in the wedding party.
NO JOKE: the appetizer at the wedding reception was crab cakes. You can’t make this stuff up folks!
#10 Left At The Altar
Heard from my Dad, a former priest:
Dad: “Anyone who knows a reason why these two should not be married should speak now or forever hold their peace.”
Bride: “Yeah I do. He was in bed with my bridesmaid last night’” slaps groom, walks back down the aisle.
Dad: “Well, I think obviously we can’t continue. Thank you all for coming.”
#9 Leggo My Eggo
Funny related story: I was at a wedding of a close work friend. Beautiful wedding, everyone very happy. Lots of cute young bridesmaids who were wearing lovely two-piece outfits (a top and a skirt) but together they looked like a dress. One of the girls (about three years old) kept running out into the aisle in the church, and lifting up her skirt. Her parents, bless them, are quietly trying to make her stop doing this and to sit back down. They were successful for a bit.
When it gets to the all-important ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ section, the girl slipped out of her parents grasp, ran into the aisle, pulled her top and stuck her belly out, and yelled ‘WAFFLES!’. The entire church cracked up into hysterics, bride and groom included. What’s best is that it was all being video recorded, and the photographer managed to get a photo of it happening. The girl is about eight now, they are saving the evidence for her wedding/21st birthday party!
#8 A Newborn’s Intuition
When my parents got married, I was about a year old. They had a courthouse wedding, I was on my mom’s hip. When the judge asked if anyone objected, I started crying. They have been divorced for 20 years now.
#7 A Military Sendoff
Not my story, but told by the priest who officiated at my sister’s wedding.
A military chap was getting married and all his colleagues came in dress uniform which included swords. When the question was asked you could apparently very clearly hear them all pull the swords out by an inch or so and then put them back when the priest carried on, obviously no one objected. Nice touch.
#6 Not A Joking Matter
My own wedding last October.
My then-fiancée had planned a little joke with the groomsmen and the officiant, which is totally like him. The joke was for each groomsman and groom to have a shot glass in their pockets, so when the officiant asks “do you take this woman to be your wife”, my husband would pause the ceremony, remove a flask of Crown from his pocket, and fill the shot glasses so that he could take a final shot as a “single man” before the “I Do” part. Everyone thought this was clever and hilarious… besides my mother. She found it tacky and insulting.
The officiant then asks me “Will you take this man as your husband?” Before I could answer, my mom pipes up “Ugh, WHY?” (which is ironic, given her feelings on my fiancée’s little joke). Everyone turns and stares right at her, including me (while trying not to break my smile). My awesome officiant doesn’t miss a beat and proceeds as if she said nothing.
The rest of the wedding was an absolute BLAST, and the issue was never brought up until the day after. Best day ever!
#5 A Fine Replacement
Our groomsmen stopped the wedding during the whole, “does anyone object?” portion. During this time they huddled up and flipped a coin, gave me the go ahead. Wife loved it, as she said, “Wouldn’t have expected less from y’all”!
Though during the huddle we had time to realize the maid of honor left my ring in the back. I tossed her my graduation ring while people were distracted. Good times.
#4 Pants On The Ground
The best man at a random wedding I went to interrupted the ceremony at this stage. He then pulled his pants down and told a joke while waving his butt. Fortunately, the bride, groom and eight of us at the Registry Office thought it was mildly funny. The couple are still happily married and have two kids. They will be having an upgraded wedding next year in Hawaii. So it’s a good story.
#3 I Spy A Contradiction
It’s silly but during my friend’s wedding, they did like a little skit during that part. Backstory, my friends and I are a bunch of nerds.
If anyone objects to this…
Someone stands up and just shouts OBJECTION! from phoenix wright, some people laugh, some older people were mortified, it was great.
#2 Liquid Holding Of The Peace
My friend was getting married. I was best man. The words are spoken “does anyone have good cause for why these two should not be wed?”
Out of the crowd I hear, in a very southern accent, the words, “I LUV ERRR.”
Everyone looked back. It was a drunk guest who thought it would be a funny joke. He was just laughing and laughing. He was escorted off the premises.
#1 Cheaters Never Win
The bride cheated with me a week before and the day before and thought the man should know.