People Too Scared To Break Up With A Crazy Significant Other Share The Aftermath
Break ups are tough. No matter what the situation, someone is bound to get hurt. Many of the following stories showcase the ugly side of a split and serve as examples of what not to do. Don’t be discouraged, though—not all of the stories end in suffering and heartbreak. Sometimes, it just takes a little time, growth, and maturing for two people to discover that they were really meant to be after all.
So sit back, relax, and read through these real-life tales of what happened when someone was too scared to break up with his or her crazy significant other. They’ll either make you happy to be in your current relationship, give you the motivation to end an unhappy one, or help you see that even the worst stories sometimes have a happy ending.
Don’t forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!
#1 Five Years Is A Long Time
He genuinely seemed to love and care for me. Even though I didn’t love him as much, we still thought we could make it work. We had a fairly inexpensive wedding, moved in together and took care of each other. He paid the bills, I cooked and cleaned, and we both put up with each other’s stuff. It was a decent arrangement in both ways.
Then, one day I discovered his HIV medication and he told me he’d been on it for over five years. That’s longer than the amount of time we’ve known each other. He lied every day for five years, and that’s what I’m dealing with now. My test came out negative, somehow, but it still feels like a deal breaker. Nothing will be the same as before and he’s fully expecting for it to go back to how it was before I found out.
#2 Happy Ending
My significant other and I were so totally opposite in our life choices when we first met that we both questioned whether we should continue dating or not. After deciding to see how things would work out, we eventually got married. Three kids and four grandkids later, we are now preparing to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. It’s been a wonderful life.
#3 Watch Those Red Flags
We met in May, then married in October. We had two kids, then divorced after six years. She wanted the marriage and I didn’t say no. I wanted to be married, have kids, and own a home, but I wasn’t sure if I should have pursued all of that with her. There were some red flags, but I hadn’t yet found my voice. I didn’t advocate for myself.
The first year of our marriage was good. Then, I saw the cracks in her lies. I suspected she cheated on me. She previously said that she’d cheated on every boyfriend she’d ever had (one of those red flags). Things just weren’t adding up. For example, he would often go for a walk with our neighbor at 12:30 a.m., then not come home until 5 a.m.
We tried to work things through. We went to counseling for a year or so. I was still fighting for that married life. Then, I didn’t get into a commissioning program in the Army. Our relationship went downhill with a quickness after that. I moved out. It was a “trial separation.” We had picked up counseling again. All of the issues came from me, apparently. My communication. My parenting.
Then, I found concrete proof she’d cheated on me two years into our marriage (with an entirely different person), and that she was continuing multiple relationships, while still “working on us.” During the next counseling session, I dropped the bomb. “What about this guy (who happened to be her first cousin)? Or that guy? Or that other guy? Surely, if you want to make it work you wouldn’t be sending steamy texts to these other guys?” The therapist asked if I could work through this, to refocus our sessions, or if I still loved her. No and no. I was tired of the lies and gaslighting.
#4 Didn’t See That Coming
He and I had a very tumultuous relationship for the first few years together, due to emotional immaturity and trauma on both our parts. He was my “rebound” after my first true heartbreak, and we started dating way, way too soon. We fought often, broke up once or twice, and I constantly thought about leaving even after we’d moved in together. Still, I’d grown dependent on him in ways I now see was unhealthy, and while I did have feelings for him, part of me was just scared of being alone.
When he shocked me by popping the question, my stomach dropped and I physically wanted to run. Every fiber in my body was yelling “no, no, no” at that moment, but his proposal speech was so beautiful and heartfelt, and he was so vulnerable and open, that I muttered a bewildered “yes” before I could even process my feelings.
Having to call our parents immediately to share the news was just torture. Honestly, looking back on that moment, I have no idea why I wasn’t just honest with him, but there was a part of me that did love and care for him, and I don’t know, exactly, but I wanted to see if we could work ourselves out together, even though it all felt so hopeless and wrong.
We’ve been together eight years now, married four, and I’m so happy to say that we are the perfect partners for each other. We’ve both grown so much on our own, through sheer will and HARD work, and in that process, we’ve also grown together in ways I couldn’t have imagined. He is the most insightful, self-aware man I’ve ever met, and he loves me more than I ever felt I deserved. And through him, I learned how to love, genuinely and (to the best of my abilities) selflessly. He is truly my other half in life, and without him, I would be so lost.
I’m so grateful that the part of me that was scared and hopeless and wanted to run away screaming decided to stay; to wait and see if we could grow together, to see what life we could build together. The journey has been more painful and more difficult than anything I’ve ever faced, but it’s also been the most precious and humbling and life-affirming experience in every way. As a wise man once said, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
#5 Know When To Hold ‘Em, Know When To Fold ‘Em
I dated this guy for three years before learning that I was his rebound relationship. It explained so much of why it was fantastic for the first six months and then got progressively worse. He basically was trying to be rude so I would break it off. However, I kept thinking that he would eventually be awesome like he was in the beginning. It took another two years before I realized that it was never going to get better, so I dumped him. My life has improved dramatically after leaving. Seeing his current relationship, I am so, so, so glad we didn’t end up together.
#6 Money Breaks It
We’d been together seven years. We’d had some great times, and though she was somewhat selfish and lazy, I figured I could do a lot worse. I’d hurt my back whilst on a ’round-the-world tour (that I exclusively paid for) that culminated in me proposing at the edge of the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately, my back got worse when we returned and I lost my job one month after the wedding.
As I’d spent all of my savings taking us around the world, getting married, and buying us a house, we quickly ran out of money. I struggled with being unemployed and in pain. She coped by going out with her friends most nights and after several honest conversations, it became obvious she would not be providing any support, whether emotional or physical, etc. It came to a head when I offered her $100 (my only birthday money) so that she could go on a pre-planned weekend break. She complained it wasn’t enough.
#7 Sometimes It Works
My wife and I were on and off constantly in our early twenties. I’d break up with her, then she would come over in a trench coat with nothing underneath and get me back that way. She actually has mental issues—severe anxiety and depression—but she didn’t know it then. I really liked the good times, but when she went ‘crazy,’ I really didn’t want any part of that.
I couldn’t leave her because I felt she was just misunderstood… But even though my family didn’t want me to marry her. I did, though—I proposed with my own free will and everything. Now, she has been to doctors and therapy and she deals much less with anxiety and depression. I’m so happy I’m with her right now. She is my best friend and my lover. I truly expect to spend the rest of my life with her and be happy!
#8 Love Trumps All…
My wife and I had a falling out a couple of months back. It was the lowest point in her life. I had come home later than I had told her I would mainly because of a small accident on the roadway. When I was five minutes late, she was already texting hateful stuff and really getting under my skin. I informed her of the accident but she would not accept it as a valid reason.
So, when I got home 30 minutes late (with 20 of those minutes involving no responses from her and her not picking up her phone when I tried calling) we got into it. She started to shove me, which was nothing since I could see the drinks she had next to her. Then somehow, it transitioned into punching my nose. I snapped and stormed off.
My heart dropped and I ran outside to see my wife crying as she walked upward on our small hill. It took two days of her begging before I would talk or even look at her. My mindset had changed after months of questioning why we were together. When we talked, I just asked questions and she would answer them.
She came to the conclusion that she was still messed up from her mother passing away in a car accident six years back. She’s now two months sober and sees a professional every week to help with the grieving. She’s still my best friend and no matter what she will never lose me or the support I offer. She’s my soulmate.
9. Sometimes It Just Doesn’t Work
I knew a couple of months into the relationship that I didn’t love her. She came from a terrible home situation, and she was severely depressed with a borderline personality disorder to boot. I felt so sorry for her. I honestly worried that if I left her, she would hurt herself. She had two little girls who needed someone stable and normal in their lives. I was afraid that I would be letting them down if I left— who else was going to help them if I didn’t?
Before we got married, she cheated on me, but she was in such denial about it that she managed to convince me that it didn’t happen. We fought almost daily. We screamed at each other, and she would get so angry that she would take things that were important to us like her wedding rings, our marriage certificate, gifts that I’d bought for her, and attempt to destroy them or throw them away.
I wasn’t at all attracted to her. She could sense that there was something wrong in our relationship and she constantly made comments to me about how I didn’t love her and didn’t want to be with her. Towards the end, our fighting got so bad that it was sometimes physical. Never punching or hitting, but shoving and grabbing one another. I felt like I was losing control of myself.
I ended up in therapy and had a relapse (I am a recovering addict, and had been clean for three years when she and I got together). After we had been married for a while, she started bringing men around: “friends from work.” She swore that nothing was happening with them, and by this point, I was so detached from reality that I honestly didn’t much care one way or the other.
I finally had a breakthrough in therapy where I realized that her reaction to how I lived my life, is not my problem. We split up, and I spent the next six months spiraling deeper into my addiction before I started to come out of it. I have since remarried, to someone I do love with all my heart. But I still have nightmares (this is not hyperbole—actual, real-life nightmares, my current wife will tell me some mornings about how I was screaming, in my sleep) that I am still stuck in that horrible, abusive, loveless relationship.
There simply isn’t enough time for me to adequately express all of the different ramifications of that relationship. There was only one positive thing that came out of it, and that was that I learned that you cannot “settle” for a relationship. The person with whom you intend to spend your life has to be someone who meets all of your criteria, or you will never be happy with them.
The negative consequences, on the other hand, are apparent in my everyday life even now: in my relationships with other people (especially my current wife); my finances; and my own general psychological well-being. Please… don’t stay with someone unless you’re sure.
#10 Sticking It Out
Three years ago, I was so certain she was not the one for me simply because I was bored and wished I could kiss someone else. Well, one beautiful road trip vacation was all it took for me to realize we are perfectly meant to be together. We’ve been married for almost two years. I couldn’t be happier that I stuck it out and am confident in saying she is the one for me. Probably the best decision I ever made.
#11 Nasty Aftermath
My dad tried to break up with my mom after they had been together for two years. She burst into tears when she realized what was going on and he chickened out. For a while, she’d try to avoid anything that’d trigger him to try breaking up with her again. Eventually, he gave up and figured, “Well, been together this long, I guess we’ll get married.”
They were married for 20+ years, had a few kids. They stayed together mostly for us, despite clearly not getting along with each other at all by the end. Now, they are divorced, and they can’t even talk about the other person without going into a rage. It’s fun. The moral of the story is: marry someone you’re absolutely sure you want to be with for the rest of your life.
#12 Change Of Opinion
I tried to break up with my wife twice while we were dating. The first time she didn’t even realize it. The second time she talked me out of it. We’re married now and have kids. I’m extremely happy with how it worked out. We have two girls and I couldn’t be happier. She helps me to be a better person.
#13 A Long Time To Wait
It was terrible. I never planned to really date her for all that long. When the thought of marriage went through my head, I just figured it was the next step, so we got married. It was alright, but it eventually got worse. I thought about how I would likely outlive her and never wanted to break her heart. Almost twenty years passed like this. Trust me, just make your decisions and live by them. You are not saving them from pain by waiting.
#15 Different Decision
I was so close to being stuck in a bad relationship. The wedding was called off two weeks beforehand (which came with its own set of backlash) and although it sucked at the time, it was almost certainly the best outcome for both of us.
#15 Leaking Soul
Technically, I’m not “now” married, but I was married to a person I knew (without any doubt) was a huge mistake to marry. I tried to back out last minute but was guilted into going on with it due to the amount of money that was spent on the wedding. I lasted two years before realizing that I had to get out for everyone’s sake. It was a nightmare, every day. I felt like my soul was leaking out every minute of that marriage. Now, however, I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I feel like I’m lucky to have left when I knew I needed to.
#16 Divorce Before Marriage
Similar story—I was married to a girl for ten years. We just didn’t fit together. Literally, we were like a Kenny Rodgers song, talking about divorce before we were even married. I take the blame because I should have been strong enough to permanently break up before we married. But as time went on, I realized she was the only woman who could truly make me happy. Nine years of marriage and three great kids later, we are somehow still in the honeymoon phase. Keep your head up people, there’s a reason for everything.
Well, it’s just after one in the afternoon and we’ve only hissed at each other twice today, so I’d say we’re pretty on pretty good terms. We only have nine more years until the kid flies the nest, which means we’re not doing so bad as parents either. Little by little, we’re making this thing work. That’s what marriage is about. Don’t give up.
#18 Wait For The Full Circle
We fell back in love. I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I want to be with him forever now. I feel like we are built into one another, like those trees that grow together and would die if separated. It wasn’t that neither of us knew how to break up, it’s just that neither of us was sure if breaking up was right. Maybe we were just too lazy to want to start over with someone else.
For a while, we were bounded by financial ties and kids, but now it would be easy to go our separate ways. After going through all the bad times, now that the worst stresses are gone, I’m glad we came around full circle to enjoy life again. The best is going on vacations with him, that’s how I know I’m with the right person.
#19 Risky Business
We’ve been together for 11 years, and have been married four. We nearly split twice in the years before we were married. We grew together, changed together, and now we can’t survive without each other. We love each other and are the perfect partners in life. Sometimes, I think that things could have been more exciting and passionate elsewhere, but why take the risk of being alone or with a worse man? I already have someone who respects me and has the same goals in life.
#20 Family Getting Involved
It’s horrible. I’ve done things that I regret and I have no idea how to get out. I couldn’t break up with my significant other and instead went and got married… My mind doesn’t know how I can ever get a divorce. My family loves my spouse more than they love me. I fear that if I divorce her, they will choose her over me. I don’t even know what I would do it because it would break my spouse’s heart, but honestly, I am not happy.
#21 That’s One Way To Do It
I thought I was going to be stuck in my relationship when I was in my early ’20s. I didn’t know how to break up with her, so I made her break up with me. Phew. It certainly wasn’t a good place to be in. I could have avoided all the hassle if I had just been more straightforward, but that’s just not how I operate in general.
#22 Got Out Relatively Quick
I’m not married anymore. The marriage lasted nine months and involved moving to the other side of the planet. When I got out of it, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The fact that I felt relieved after could only mean that I saw the relationship as a burden for all of that time. I am much, much happier now.
#23 From Another Side
My dad is miserable. He rarely sees his kids, he’s constantly verbally abused, and his my brother has been practically turned against him by my abusive mom. Once my younger sibling moves out, I really, really hope he divorces her because he’s a good man, but he has gotten so messed up by that wench. I feel like he feels a sense of obligation to help raise my brother even though my mom rips him apart.
Now, my brother believes that any criticism my dad gives him on his behavior is just “ablist and bigoted.” The only reason I rarely see him is because I like to keep minimal contact with my mom. When I can see him alone, it’s great. He even says that we get along quite well when my mom isn’t around. Please save yourself, dad.
#24 Sometimes It Works
We had been together for four years and because he was going into the military, we got married. I regretted it for a bit because it was difficult at first and we had a lot of problems. We’re about to have our ten-year wedding anniversary soon and I’m totally happy. We both grew up a lot, learned to communicate better and became better people for ourselves, and each other. If I hadn’t married him or if we’d split up, I would be missing out on so much now. Especially with our son.
#25 Creatures Of Habit
It really hasn’t been pretty—it’s been ten years now and I got married young. We have a baby now. It wasn’t just not knowing how to break up with her, I just did not know how to say no to anyone. Needless to say, with this nature, my 20s have been stressful, both maritally and otherwise. Eventually, I started to grow a spine and develop a voice, not just with her but as a person.
We had a watershed relationship moment a few years back. I spoke about many things, but I just couldn’t quite tell her this. I still do not have the heart to say it. So how does it feel in the relationship? Well, humans are strangely able to adapt. Even if you do not love your partner, you care about them. And life goes by… until you fall in love and you want to be with someone else. What do you do then? What is the moral thing to do? I have no idea. It has been a living hell these past few months.
#26 That’s A Bad Sign
We married because she was pregnant. My kid is already six. But she had depression for two years, so she had no job and such while I, on the other hand, kept working 60 hours a week. She’s doing okay now, but now I’m kind of depressed. Life feels stale and boring. I never have the energy to do things. I keep hammering about her getting a job since I’m kind of going insane, but she’s slow with everything.
#27 Suffocating Stability
How do I get out? When I say I love you, I don’t mean it. It feels more like I’m saying, “I care about you enough to not leave.” I would have broken up with her earlier, but she had to move in with me within a few months of us dating, after getting kicked out from her parents. We never really had time apart at the start of our relationship. She’s gotten overweight and she doesn’t spend money wisely, but she does nothing to change it, even after I voiced my concerns multiple times through the course of our relationship. We’re coming up on two-and half-years now and it just feels like I’m suffocating.
#28 You Had It In You All Along
Sometimes, people need to be faced with hard reality before they’re able to mobilize and do things for themselves. I was this person. I didn’t think I could survive (financially or otherwise) without my ex. But when push came to shove and I had no choice, I was more independent than I had ever known I was capable of being.
#29 Just Dreaming
It’s not like we don’t get along, I just think every day how much better things could be for me and how much more fun I could be having. It’s depressing sometimes, but at least we don’t have kids.
#30 Slow Burn
I guess I’m the minority in this situation, but I’d say things are great. I met my wife in college and after a year I tried to have the break-up talk. I fumbled through it and she cried, so we ended up staying together. Six months later, we graduated and I suggested we get an apartment together. I remember a big part of it was because of the money we’d save living together.
Two years after that, I proposed. Her family had been putting a lot of pressure on us for a while. We’ve been married 12 years now and have three kids. I love her a ton and we just each compliment each other perfectly. She balances me out and together life is just easy. Maybe since I never went through the crazy instant dazzling connection, things just slowly built up to something amazing.
#31 In A Movie
I’m not married, but he’s talked about buying a house for us sometime in the future, so I’m sure he’s pretty serious. I’m honestly not that into my boyfriend, but don’t know how to break it off. It’s complicated by the fact that he hired me at his small business and now provides about three-quarters of my income. Also, my mother adores him, but I think it’s because he’s rich and she knows he can take care of me.
Also, I don’t really have any good reason to break up other than this sinking feeling every time I go over to his house that I would rather be doing just about anything else. And he’s, by most measures, just about the perfect man—he’s smart, good looking, independently wealthy, and cares about me a lot; so if I’m not happy with him, what the heck will make me happy? Is it smart to give all that up because I find him kind of boring? I keep feeling like I’m in a cheesy rom-com where I’m about to marry the rich jerk, but there’s no cute nice guy out there ready to crash the wedding.
#32 Maybe Leave?
I regret not breaking up with her. We have two kids that I wouldn’t trade for the world. She’s a self-entitled person who enables my kids to be brats. She’s lazy and destroys everything around her. I regret marrying her and staying with her. At this point, I have no idea what to do.
#33 Professional Help Helps
I very nearly went through with the marriage. He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t that bad either. I felt like I’d disappoint so many people if I cut it off. I talked to a counselor and finally realized that, if I wasn’t really happy with the idea of spending my life with him, that was a good enough reason to break up with him. It was, of course, painful.
I had plenty of people unhappy with me over it, but I’m so glad I did it. It was like I’d been living deep underwater and finally swam to the surface. Years later, I ended up with someone who I have not once regretted since. Even when I’m absolutely livid with him, there’s not a single part of me that would prefer a life without him in it. It’s worth it, I promise.
#34 Don’t Be This Guy
I was on the receiving end of this scenario. My husband did this, but I didn’t find out until almost 20 years and two children later. 18 years into our marriage, he told me we were getting a divorce and that he was deeply in love with a woman he met 16 years earlier (when I was pregnant with our first child). I love my kids and wouldn’t change that for the world, BUT if it were possible to do it again in some alternate timeline, I wish he’d have broken up with me.
It hurt more than I could have ever imagined to find out that my entire adult life was, in essence, based on a lie. It took a lot of work for me to be able to trust anyone again. My husband’s love for me was something I had always thought of as part of the foundation of the life I’d built. To discover that foundation was false ripped my confidence to shreds.
I started second-guessing EVERY decision. I stopped trusting my own judgment about almost everything. I went from being a very intelligent, confident, independent person to… something far less. It took years to regain myself. We’re both happier now, but I’ll always wonder how things could have been if he had he been willing to do the right thing back then instead of making a commitment he didn’t really want.
#35 Let Yourself Be Happy
I got together with a girl when I was 21. We fought constantly. She started a pattern of telling me how worthless I was, and that if I left her, I’d never find anyone again. This led me to be miserably unhappy, but also more and more concerned about being alone for the rest of my life. She learned my insecurities early and used them against me.
Four years later, we got married. It was a lavish affair with around 300 guests. I sat by myself for most of the night, knowing I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I spent the next eight years more unhappy than I’d ever been. I was controlled every single day. Anytime we went out with friends or family, she put on an act that I was in charge of all decision-making so nobody knew what my life was actually like. I was too ashamed to tell anybody the anguish and regret that I lived my life in.
I finally found the courage to leave, and it was difficult… Over the course of three or four months, I had packed a bag maybe four times. Each time, I caved in to my fear and insecurity. The day I walked out was the most liberated I had felt in my life. I am now with an amazing woman who loves me for who I am, and we would do anything to make each other happy. My advice: if you are unhappy, find the inner strength to break it up. If you don’t, it won’t get any easier.
#36 Abuse Is Serious
It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to break up with him, I just didn’t get around to it before the whole wedding ball was rolling. It was supposed to be a simple civil service. I didn’t realize he had manipulated me into planning a wedding in three weeks. I pulled it off, and also, everyone loved the wedding. I was tipsy, wearing a stupid frock my mother insisted on, and I had loads of lovely friends over, so it was a nice day and I didn’t really care. I had some niggles—his jealousy was always pretty nuts, but I figured he would grow out of it since he got his way about the stupid wedding.
I will say for myself, I’m not stupid. I’ve been in abusive relationships, I work pretty much constantly with domestic violence sufferers, so I can spot abuse a mile away. It really is different when it’s you and when there are others invested in the relationship. What followed was years of abuse, pain, and suffering.
I’ve tried to break up with him multiple times, but he does stuff like drive into trees. Luckily he’s been on tour for the past eight months or something. We’ve been living in different countries long enough for me to get perspective, and realize that not only did I not love him, but I also don’t even really hate him. I just don’t care anymore.
#37 Grateful For The Change
My girlfriend wanted to break up with me because I drank too much. I convinced her it wasn’t a big deal and we stayed together. A few months later, I got my third public intoxication citation and I already had a DUI. She was going to end it, but again somehow I convinced her not to break up with me. But this time, I got sober. I’ve now been sober for five years and we’ve been married for two. Life couldn’t be better. I have no idea how I got so lucky, but as a friend told me one time: don’t question the blessings, be thankful for them.
#38 You Count As A Person
It’s not even a self-esteem thing, but I know I have other options who would treat me better. I just don’t like hurting people (even if they are not good to me).
#39 Lots Of Other Factors
I did this because there was religion involved, a pregnancy, and I had zero life experience at that point. I tried to say “maybe we could just live together for a while?” But parents and the religion (we both grew up Jehovah’s Witnesses) made that virtually impossible. She bought a ring and gave me a deadline to propose… the next weekend.
The marriage was horrible. I still think she’s a horrible person. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in life. I tried to keep it together, for religion’s sake, for eight years. Since we split, (and I left the cult) I’m infinitely happier. She still tries to suck any happiness away from me in any way she can, which sucks, but not being in this “forced” sham marriage is the best thing I can imagine.
I’m now remarried (going strong on about three months), and while the concept of marriage scares me, I love my new wife genuinely, and we had lived together for five years first. It was a little bit of natural progression, but also something I’m seriously happy with.
#40 No Reaction Is A Big Deal
We had a good thing going, but it slowly went downhill. We were engaged and at the time I proposed, it was a great idea. I suppose by the time I moved in at her behest, it was already heading downhill, but that sped up the process. The burden of her constant work stress, poor financial condition, and feeling suffocated led me to check out.
She didn’t come home one night and I knew that was it. Luckily, my old roommate had a spot open up that weekend and when she came home the next day, the first thing I said to her was, “I’m moving out.” She couldn’t have cared less based on her lack of reaction. Granted, she already had her next sugar daddy lined up and moved in with him less than a month later. So yeah, I was supposed to be married last month. I bet I would have been divorced by the end of the year.
#41 Go With Your Gut
Oh, honey. Oh, sweetie. Let me tell you a story about a good man. He was smart, of excellent pedigree, incredibly good looking, and he worshipped the ground I walked on. He was so good to me. I thought I loved him, but really, I loved the security. As time went by, I grew restless and angry. I would lash out at him because he was doing everything for me and I still wasn’t happy. So I thought it was his fault. I was a horrible person because I didn’t love him. I liked him and I respected him, but I didn’t love him.
It took me too long to realize that that was the problem. Eventually, I cheated on him and got caught. I deserve everything he said to me. I think I cheated to find a way out because there was no real reason to leave. I just didn’t love him. It is the biggest regret of my life. Not because I wish we were together, but because he is a good man, and I was a coward.
He never deserved someone like me. I’ve taken it as a lesson. I know I will never hurt someone like this again because it stays with me. It’s been almost seven years, and we’re both better off. But I live with my shame and my regret for what I did to a good man. You should leave. You’re doing both of you a disservice.
#42 Force Doesn’t Help
I’m the significant other who wouldn’t take no for an answer, so we got married. Long story short, it didn’t work out. I learned it’s bad to force things.
#43 If She’s Not For You…
It’s not great. I love my kids but I’ve realized that my wife will never make me happy. She tries sometimes, but overall, she’s incredibly selfish. She bought two horses but yelled at me when I needed a new truck. I’m struggling with whether or not to stay married. We’ve gone to counseling, etc, but she is just not the person I want to spend my life with.
I’ve almost cheated on her just to force her to kick me out, because when I tried to divorce her the last time, she broke my nose, then threatened to ruin my career… which she could do, since she outranks me in my school district. She’s also told me to end myself a bunch of times, during my struggle with post-traumatic stress.
Yeah. Don’t marry because you THINK it’s the right thing to do. Marry someone who makes you feel whole. Sometimes love feels good, sometimes it feels bad, but it should make you feel like you’re where you belong. Sometimes I forget how miserable I am. Writing this out was depressing. I’m going to go hug my kids, then stare at the clouds and ponder my bad life decisions.
#44 What Could Have Been?
This is a great question because I’ve wondered over the years what would have happened. I ended a relationship with a wonderful person. A good, smart, kind, successful, smart person. I genuinely cared very much about him, but it just didn’t feel right. I don’t know how to explain that. It just didn’t. Everyone was devastated—our families, our friends…
I got accused of being unfaithful, but that wasn’t the case. Everyone made me feel bad. And I didn’t end it just for me, I did it for him too, so he could find happiness with someone else. Now he’s married and seems genuinely happy. I can find comfort in that, but I guess I’ll never know if we could have been truly happy together. FYI, I’m alone now and not dating.
#45 It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Worst Of Times
I’ve been with my wife now for two years. We’ve been together since I was a freshman in high school, so about 17 years now. We broke up a few times during that period. Have I had my doubts over the years? Yes. Do I regret some things? Yes. Would I want to change anything? No. We have gotten through quite a bit together, a lot of ups and downs. She’s seen me at my worst and I’ve seen her at her worst. We’ve worked through it together.
It literally makes me sick when we are away from each other. She just went away with her mother for a week and my mood tanked. My buddies thought I was going to feel “free.” I genuinely enjoy her company. We’ve both experienced life without each other and have always come back to one another. Trust your instincts.