People Share Their ‘And That’s Why They Shouldn’t Get Married’ Stories

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Have you ever been in attendance at a wedding that you knew would end in disaster? One where the bride was cold, the groom was bored, and arguments popped up left and right? Was what was supposed to be the “happiest day of their lives” littered in red flags?

If you have been to one of these dreadful celebrations, you know the pain of silently watching two people throw away thousands of dollars on a relationship destined to fail. Most people aren’t willing to speak up when the officiate says “speak now or forever hold your peace.” However, there are some warning signs so obvious it’s hard to imagine the bride and groom didn’t see them coming themselves!

If your bride throws a glass at your head, that’s probably a good signal to call off the wedding. If your groom is yawning during your wedding vows, that’s probably a sign that you should probably end things right there. Still, these experiences and worse have happened at many wedding ceremonies that somehow continued on to the painful end.

These folks decided to share some of the most monumental “these people should never get married” moments they’ve experienced at catastrophically awkward and disturbing weddings for our enjoyment. So, enjoy!

#35 Not The Best Way To Kick Off A Marriage

My friend was getting married to his neighbor. I hardly knew her, didn’t know he was into her, the wedding was rather sudden.

They were both from very religious families; she had gotten pregnant after they were intimate once in “a moment of weakness” and their families pressured them into the marriage. At the wedding, they barely looked at each other, they argued (though with enough taste to do it quietly and away from most guests) over several details, and the bride got very inebriated (had I mentioned yet that she was pregnant?). The baby was born with dark hair though both my friend and his wife were blond. The DNA test confirmed the baby wasn’t his and they divorced less than 6 months after the marriage.

MartijnCvB

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#34 Well, This Is Super Awkward

The bride wouldn’t stop hugging my husband, who, unbeknownst to us, was her “first true love.” He thought they were good friends, all HER friends knew that she was in love with him and were shocked that he showed up for the wedding. My husband was clueless. She was clinging to him and crying. It was horrible and we bolted as soon as possible.

streamstroller

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#33 Second Time Is Never The Charm

They had split up a couple of years previously because he didn’t know his own limits and got violent. When they reconnected years later, it was on the understanding that he would never sip again.

I found him chugging spirits behind a bush at their reception.

RepetitiveDolphin

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#32 Thank God They Called This Off

My niece was 27, a top-tier lawyer, a beautiful woman, and marrying a thrice-divorced 42-year-old who has a somewhat mysterious means of support. He was a very attractive man, seemed aloof, and her parents were gritting their teeth; they didn’t like the guy. We flew in the day before the wedding and after the rehearsal party, I had a few minutes alone with my niece. I have always been her favorite aunt. All I did was ask her, “are you sure you want to marry this man?”

The floodgates of emotions erupted; she started bawling, she wasn’t sure, she didn’t know what to do, she hugged me sobbing. I calmed her down, got a glass of wine in her and she told me that about a week ago she had an epiphany and she realized this guy was not right. But now she was afraid to back out with all of the money, travel, planning, etc..

Long story short, we had a midnight meeting with her parents and she called off the wedding. Yes, it was very difficult, the groom’s family went ballistic, thousands had already been spent by the guests and my sister, but all of the people close to her were relieved.

longleglady

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#31 Dang, The Least She Could Do Is Smile

My best friend since middle school was getting married. He is really good at piano and singing, so he wrote a song and sang it to his wife at the reception. He was super nervous but he killed it. EVERY woman was in tears, it was such a lovely song…

Except for the bride. Stood right next to the piano with what I interpreted as a forced smile. The attention wasn’t on her for 5 minutes…

Divorced 2 years later.

mpschan

#30 Now Is Not The Best Time For This

When the best man’s speech talked about how much he was in love with the groom, how they had been together since long before she showed up, and if there was any truth, justice, or beauty in the world it would have been the two of them being married.

redheadedlibrarian

#29 Not Much Room For Imagination Here

The groom spent most of the day running around like crazy making sure everything was perfect, whilst the bride spent a lot of time (and shared knowing glances) with the best man.

Baby_Dinosaur_Yoshi

#28 Come On, Don’t Do That To Your Guests

It was raining outside (in Southern California, no less) and the groom was in the hallway screaming and yelling at the bride that they would still have the wedding out in the rain. She kept saying over and over, “we can’t do this to our guests…” and he refused to back down. We were there for several hours while this went on and all of us awkwardly hung out in the reception area listening to the echoes of the argument.

Brandy_Alexander

#27 That Sure Escalated Quickly

The groom looked bored throughout the entire wedding. He fought back a yawn during the vows but everyone saw it. He was with his best man the entire reception and barely sat down with her. A month later, the bride found out he was sleeping with his ex and actually was with her 2 days before the wedding. He actually invited her to the wedding and she sat at a table just smiling while she knew what a cheater they both were. Nasty divorce.

Unknown

#26 If Relationships Are All About Trust…

The wedding couple came to see me about a month in advance of the ceremony to choose music for the occasion.

They couldn’t agree about anything from the processional to the recessional, and everything in between. She wanted the organ to be soft as she entered, and he wanted the organ to be big and “triumphant” (his words).

On the actual wedding day, long before the event began, he came up to the organ with his best man and offered me a “tip” if I’d do it his way and play a big organ piece instead of the softer, smaller-scaled entrance she preferred. I told him we needed to honor what had been agreed upon and not change it at the 11th hour behind her back.

Back2Bach

#25 Holy Smokes, This Guy Is A Disaster

It was a disaster from the start, although it was the most extravagant wedding I have ever attended. Well over $100,000. Cocktails before the reception and the groom was smashed. One of the brides’ best friends from out of town complimented him on how great his eyebrows looked and he replies back with “WTF are you trying to say about me?!” Then he tries to kick her out even though she was just being polite.

After that fiasco, he keeps going and it was time for cutting the cake. So normally you just cut the cake and maybe rub a little into each other’s faces. Nope, he baseball pitched the cake straight into her face. I’m not exaggerating, everyone went completely silent. The bride runs out of the reception bawling her eyes out and her father follows. Her brothers start to get in his face but it was quickly calmed down. Once she returns, the groom decides it’s time to make an apology over the mic. You can guess how much of a disaster this turned out to be. Incoherent nonsense.

As the night is ending, the groom is outside with her brothers and dad trying to fight all of them. Yup, the marriage was annulled the very next day.

heyuitsmeme

#24 So I’m Guessing The In-Laws Are A Nightmare

The parents’ speeches. One side was a heartfelt, tender acknowledgment of the couple and how they had grown with each other through the years. The couple had been high school sweethearts who married in their late 20s.

The other side had what felt like a 10-minute speech on how wonderful their son was, with very little acknowledgment of the bride. Was very one-sided. Struck me as odd.

firefly232

#23 God, All That Work For A Jerk

All of her Snapchats and social media photos in the final weeks leading up to the wedding were of her running around doing every last errand, staying up until 2 am finishing decorations, making all the final phone calls and organizing stuff while he watched sports. Then on the weekend of, she was running around setting up everything while he got tipsy with his groomsmen in the hotel for the entire day before the wedding (it was a destination wedding so everyone was there a day early). He was so hungover that he almost missed the wedding. His vows were a single sentence and hers were uncomfortably intense and long-winded about how she “loved him more than life itself” and “he has her whole soul now.” She had prepared thoughtful surprise after surprise for him during the reception (which again, was uncomfortably overkill), while he wouldn’t even help her set up his own wedding.

Billie_the_Kidd

#22 Probably Shouldn’t Have Gotten Her Boozey

My wife was a bridesmaid at this wedding. I videoed and was going to edit the footage together for them. After the wedding and drinks, the wedding party went to the couple’s favorite bar for more “celebrating” with the core group of friends. Few more hours of sipping and the bride was so inebriated, and the truth started coming out.

She started trashing the groom and anyone else that got in her way (my wife included). She ended up calling her ex-husband at 2 am and telling him she had made a huge mistake (I took the phone and told him she was tipsy. He understood). The night ended with us shoving them in the limo that was supposed to take them to their hotel and hoping for the best because we were all sick of it.

KashN

#21 So, Why Did They Get Married Again?

Leading up to the wedding, he didn’t call her his “fiancee.” It was like he avoided the term or something. He also didn’t fully change his address to their new place, and only really moved in with her because she insisted.

The biggest red flag, though, is how much he complained about her in subtle ways and overt ones, regarding the same exact sets of issues that (shockingly!) didn’t resolve upon marriage.

abqkat

#20 This Is A Super Strange Duo

Heavy involvement with the church strong-handed an old pair of friends into getting married. They were fresh out of college and had been together since middle school. The bride was very sad and mellow on the day of the wedding. She was physically there, but mentally checked out. Exasperated sighs, forced smiling, and feigned excitement, I understand being a blushing bride doesn’t compliment everyone’s personality. She even paused walking down the aisle with a look of sheer panic, but was “guided” by her soon to be father-in-law. The groom, on the other hand, was serial-killer calm. He was ushering people in calling them “coach” and “judd” and it was strange. His vows were almost like a comedy sketch alluding to their colorful differences. At the reception someone discretely mentioned to him that the bride was crying and he scoffed, insisting it was probably because her special day is almost over. It was also rumored he picked up a catering waitress.

haymadpix

#19 Gosh, That Poor Groom

The groom flinched every time she moved her arms near him. It was painful to watch. They are still married and he no longer speaks with any of us.

GiggleNSchnitz

#18 Okay, Somebody Get This Groom To Shut His Mouth

He announced that “they were knocked up, YAH!” to everyone without her even in the room.

Then watching them, besides the ceremony itself, I don’t think they even said a word to each other the entire night. They obviously sat together at dinner but talked to all the “friends” around them.

Then there was no first dance, someone actually said, “scratch this first dance, lets party” and then like 3 people poured onto the dance floor.

It was terrible.

billbapapa

#17 Just Something To Take The Edge Off…

Outdoor ceremony and reception in a barn type thing. The bride was clearly out of it during the ceremony. Just had a happy, dopey, complacent look on her face while the minister was talking. Then she came to taste the forbidden Mary Jane with her old friends throughout the reception. Groom never liked it. It was like she was disappearing from him. They split 8 months later. Expensive mistake, but the food was good.

cleverever

#16 He’s Only Kidding… Right?

At the after-dinner… the groom was asked why they got married… he said, “well, tax season is coming up.”

t**tchops

#15 This Seems Super, Duper Extra

A friend of mine got married to a girl he’d met on a Christian dating site after knowing her for only a month. She also lived 200 miles from him, so they really hadn’t gotten to know each other.

My friend has been a church-goer all his life, but he’s not a crazy evangelist or anything. It’s just a nice, boring Presbyterian church.

Anyway, the wedding was at the bride’s church. I can’t remember the name, but it was a small, country church out in the Midwestern corn fields.

In the church, we sat, as usual, friends of the bride on one side of the aisle, friends of the groom on the other.

The ceremony began and all went well for a time, until, during the minister’s prayer, the bride became overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit. She closed her eyes, raised her hands in the air and began speaking in tongues.

This caused most of the people on the bride’s side of the aisle to become similarly taken with the spirit, and they began standing and waving their arms and speaking in tongues.

PaulsRedditUsername

#14 This Is The Worst Kind Of Bridezilla

I went to a wedding for my wife’s coworker. She took her sweet time getting ready and made everyone wait an hour to walk down the aisle. It was her perfect day for the sake of it being her perfect day. She wasn’t in love and just wanted to get married. Everyone there knew it. Even the mother of the bride made comments like; “well, it’s the Jackie show.” Implying that it wasn’t really about the marriage. My wife and I predicted it would last 6 months. It turns out we were right. She was “very upset” her husband was cheating on her but the entire time she was cheating on him. Just a sham and completely pointless event.

DelRMi05

#13 So, None Of That Lovely-Dovey Stuff Was Real

They were over-the-top clingy to each other. Not like a normal couple that has a special day, but more, “look at how much we are in love. Really. Totally in love. Absolutely. Can you tell?” I had known them for a few years already and it was definitely off. I later found out that he had laid down “rules” for the marriage the day before, and she had been thinking of running during the whole ceremony but was too afraid of him. He became a real piece of work shortly afterward, beat her up, caused a miscarriage and divorced her after spending all the money they had been given for the wedding.

Sevarra

#12 Oh, The Wisdom Of Our Elders

At my best friend’s wedding, the groom’s dad was dropping some things off at the church. Just to make small talk, I said: “Bob, are you ready for the big day?” He said, “Well, you know what they say, everyone’s gotta have a first wife.”

ThesolutionismeNAT

#11 Did Everyone Forget Whose Special Day It Was?

At the reception, the groom spent the whole time going around with his mother and the bride was sitting alone. My friend group went to hang out with her for a while, but we had to leave early to get home (long drive) and I don’t think anyone else paid much attention to her after that. They separated after 2 months.

skleats

#10 Honey, It Will Always Be Too Soon For That Story

A bridesmaid got up and told a “funny” story about how the bride lived with some other guy during a break from the groom.

renotime

#9 Something Just Feels Off…

Everything was stilted.

The decor was beautiful, the wedding party was dressed to a tee, bride and groom both happy-cried during the vows, there was a limo service, reception had an awesome dinner and short speeches.

But it all felt like it was scripted that way. Almost like watching a movie wedding rather than a real one. Don’t really know how to place exactly what was off, but I think there was just something about the bride and groom, like they were acting.

The_Foe_Hammer

#8 I Would Have Called Off The Wedding Right There

My cousin’s soon-to-be-husband was more concerned with perfect wedding day photos than her grandmother. Her grandmother was 90 years old, walked only with assistance, and was having trouble getting to the spot where everyone was standing for the wedding photographer. While my cousin, dress and all, is trying to get her grandma over to stand with everyone else, her groom is screaming to just, “Forget her! Forget her! WE WON’T HAVE PERFECT LIGHTING IF WE WAIT FOR HER!”

My cousin is a very family-oriented person and it mortified her, especially because, in her words, he had never yelled at her before. Mortified her worse because they did take pictures without her grandmother, who died a few months later.

Ilunibi

#7 He’s A Little Too Proud Of His ‘Catch’

While celebrating their engagement with everyone, the groom got tipsy and started talking all possessive about his bride. Like this is how you keep a woman. When you meet a woman like her you gotta lock it down fast with a ring, like it’s a cage or something. Pretty obvious red flag, but she was determined.

vitriolic_amalgamati

#6 Talk About Cold Shoulders

Yeah, the bride spent most of her day hanging with her family and the groom spent most of his day with his. There was very little mingling. In fact, the only interaction I had was to shake his hand at the very end of the reception and wish them good luck. He shrugged at me.

zerbey

#5 So What I’m Hearing Is That She’s A Priss

Was before the wedding, but I saw the bride complain about how “cheap” he was for proposing with his grandmothers ring instead of buying her a new one. According to her, she said yes, but he “better actually buy her a ring” before the ceremony.

Unentertained

#4 Oh Yeah, That’s Definitely A Red Flag

This isn’t really something I noticed off-hand… it was really blatant, but I was the only one who saw. I witnessed the very tail -end of an argument where she grabbed the half-finished cocktail out of his hand and smashed the glass against the side of the building.

MZ603

#3 All He Wanted To Do Was Mingle

Last summer, my then-fiancé and I went to his cousin’s wedding. The groom (cousin) was very happy, positively beaming during the ceremony, the bride marched her wedding party up the aisle with a sour look. It was bizarre.

After the ceremony, the bride was micromanaging the photos, the welcome drinks, the catering, and when the speeches ended (before the food) she stood up and said she wouldn’t be a traditional woman and she wanted to do a speech. She didn’t have a speech. Whatever she said was not memorable. She ran to the buffet, then drank heavily with her bridesmaids. After food, she and her husband walked around to talk to all the guests. She was determined to get around everyone whereas he wanted to linger and chat, so she literally dragged him around after a “Hi, how are you, nice to see you, bye!” As the music started, she was with the bridesmaids watching the empty dance floor, he was at the bar with the groomsmen. He wasn’t smiling anymore.

flowerpuffgirl

#2 If You’ve Accumulated That Many Meltdowns…

A lifelong friend was getting married. The normal traditional wedding where the bride and groom don’t see each other on the wedding day leading up to the ceremony. The bride comes back to the house where he’s staying and has a total meltdown over something stupid. They are yelling at each other through the bedroom door since he’s not allowed to see her… this was one of many meltdowns she had during the time they dated.

MindlessMe13

#1 Yep, This Is A Cause For Concern

From the beginning, she wasn’t really involved or excited about the wedding plans. She just didn’t care. The groom planned most of the wedding which was at a mountain resort across the country (her home state). It wasn’t an easy wedding to get to. His friends and family had a long flight and then drove three hours to get there.

They were doing pictures before the ceremony and the bride disappeared into the woods. No one could find her for about an hour. People started to panic. The groom was thinking he’d have to call it off. He was planning a speech. Finally, the wife of the best man tracks her down. The bride is crying and we all assumed it was cold feet. The wife of the best man said, “Don’t marry him if you’re not sure, who cares what people think. It’s not fair to him!” But the bride shook her off. After all, everyone made such an effort to be there she didn’t want to disappoint people.

So they went through with it. Most everyone close to the groom (including the groom) knew they should not have married. But it was like being on a train at full speed and not being able to get off.

spamelove

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