People Share The Most Embarrassing Wedding Blunder They’ve Ever Witnessed
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Weddings are meant to be a celebration of two people who are very much in love. For the most part, the ceremony ends up being a beautiful and memorable occasion where lots of laughter, smiles and even some happy tears are experienced by all. However, that is not always the case, and what is supposed to be a joyous day can easily turn into a nightmare.
Whether it’s because of the guests, the wedding staff, the couple’s family, or the bride and groom themselves, weddings can turn awkward and a little uncomfortable. There might be ways to avoid those dreaded results, though—people took to the internet to share their wedding no-no’s, and their advice is definitely valuable. Read on, especially if you have a wedding coming up in the near future:
#1 Third Time’s The Charm
My uncle Rob got married at the same place to two different women, 15 years apart. My father said, “Hey Rob, after the third time, do you get your own parking space or something?” The bride’s family were not impressed.
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#2 An Unfortunate Consecutive Series Of Events
Don’t get stupidly inebriated and lift up the bride’s skirt while the groom is going for the garter on her leg. Don’t puke all over the DJ’s soundboard and in his bag. Don’t almost start a fist fight with childhood friends. My friend Jorge did all this at my buddy’s wedding. It’s all on tape.
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#3 Keep The Ex-Wife Out Of It
Do not bring up the subject of the groom’s ex-wife, especially in a speech. I witnessed a terrible best man’s speech where he basically bashed the groom’s prior marriage and said that he hoped his next one turned out better. It was a truly painful speech.
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#4 When The Majority Of Guests Can’t Afford To Be A Guest At The Wedding…
Don’t have a ridiculously expensive wedding at a resort and expect all guests to front the cost. My wife and I were invited to a couple’s wedding in Jamaica. The cost per person was $1,000 for four days, not including food or airfare, during a busy tourist season. It was also a themed wedding, and not a fun theme like Renaissance garb, either, but some kind of Italian luxe theme where everyone had to match.
You had to show up to someplace, get fitted for the style, and buy the suit or dress. For a guy, it was about $350, but depending on the women’s size, it could go up to $1,200 for a dress. This was just to be a guest. We declined, along with a majority of those invited. The bride gave everyone a hard time, especially because the $1,000 per person was ONLY if some minimum purchase was reached.
I just didn’t have the estimated $5,000 or the vacation days to go. They had the wedding anyway, but out of the several hundred they planned for, only 30 came. The groom had to change his best man twice because his first two couldn’t pay the steep fees required. The couple took it as, “Well, now we know who our REAL friends are…” The marriage lasted seven months. I forgot why they split up.
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#5 Don’t Mess With The Bride
My mother-in-law stood up at my wedding reception and said, “This marriage between Henry and what’s her name is never going to last.” I am “what’s her name.” Don’t do that. I’m still angry 13 years later.
#6 Leave Those Flowers Alone
Don’t pick up all the flowers the flower girl drops. They’re meant to stay on the ground and you will ruin the wedding video footage.
#7 Relatives With Baby Fever Have Got To Go
Don’t grill the bride and groom about when they are thinking of having children… They’re paying for your drinks, is it so hard to just say congratulations?
#8 Include The Bride And Groom With The Wedding Bets
Don’t organize a wager amongst the guests. Don’t bet on how many weeks the marriage will last. Don’t make a side bet about who’s going to cheat first. But if you are going to do it, make sure everyone has a chance to bet, including the bride and groom.
#9 Leave The Bickering For Another Day
I once did photography for a wedding. During the family photographs with the bride and groom, the bride’s mother and father were put on opposite sides because they were divorced and not behaving. The mother was intoxicated and during the photo, she was yelling over the heads of the bride and groom, insulting her ex-husband. The bride was in near tears and we had to stop taking pictures until they could get the mother to calm down. It was the last wedding I ever photographed.
#1o An Absolute Wedding No-No For Guests
Don’t wear a white dress if you’re a guest. This is an unwritten rule that must be followed. White is for the bride and the bride only. If you choose to wear white yourself, prepare to get some nasty looks from other guests. No one likes a girl who tries to steal a bride’s thunder.
#11 The Drama Is Always The Most Memorable
If you are a bride or groom, don’t make a scene. It will be what nearly everyone will remember about your wedding. My wife and I had a small ceremony with just our parents, my sister and her husband. We were in a small dining room for the reception and the AC had broken earlier in the day. They had repaired it in time for dinner, but it was taking a while to cool down.
The parents started getting ornery but some strong drinks later, we were all laughing, dancing, and sweating up a storm. Talking with the family later, they were all surprised that my wife and I didn’t pitch a huge fit about the temperature. They were pleased too, as it would have been the only hitch in an otherwise awesome day.
On the other hand, my sister and her husband were married and had a cousin announce her pregnancy over the microphone after dinner. My sister tried to ask her quietly to just leave, but she made a scene before doing so. Then, the groom’s best man got into a fight with his fiancee and she tried to drive off crying but backed into a tree, despite being sober. The fiance was inebriated and threatened to fight people who tried to get him outside to cool off.
#12 Be Careful What You Say About The Bride
I’m from a very, very conservative background. I wore a halter top dress but had a jacket over it. The best man’s family gossipped at my wedding about how horribly immodest my dress was. They called me rude names. Don’t call the bride names. Even if you think it, keep your mouth shut.
#13 Silence During The Ceremony Is Best
Don’t leave your phone notifications on. The couple spends hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on a videographer. The sound of your “Baby Got Back” ringtone will ruin the videographer’s footage and the couple will hate you forever. Take it from my experience. I was the culprit.
#14 One Wedding At A Time
Don’t use your best man speech to propose to your girlfriend. It’s not your time in the spotlight, jerk.
#15 Babies And Brides Don’t Mix
If you are a bride or groom, DON’T HOLD ANY BABIES. They are going to go #1, #2, or vomit all over you and you don’t want that captured on camera.
#16 Worst Maid-Of-Honor Ever
At my brother’s wedding, the bride’s sister (the maid of honor) threw a huge tantrum and put the bride’s veil in the bathroom trash can right before the ceremony was supposed to start. Don’t do that.
#17 The Sacred Cake
Don’t stick your finger in the cake. Actually, don’t stick your finger in any cake, you freaking weirdo. If anything, only the couple has the rights to do that!
#18 Father-Of-The-Bride Making It Really Awkward
Don’t give a long speech about divorce and irreconcilable differences being inevitable. I was at a wedding where the pastor was the father-of-the-bride, and he talked for a good 10 minutes about all the couples that came to him for a divorce. It was the most uncomfortable thing in the universe. In the end, his point was that all couples will have irreconcilable differences and, I don’t know, I forget what his point was. Something about acceptance or working hard. But I clearly remember squirming and sweating.
#19 Sister, What Did You Do?
Don’t tell the bride’s sister that her toddler looks just like the groom. You will cause drama and you will be blamed for the wedding (and families) being ruined.
#20 Not The Right Time To Share That Ugly Secret
Don’t drink too much and tell the bride that the husband cheated on her when they were dating… It did not end well for me or the groom.
#21 Psych!
#22 The Bride Had Quite The Run
This is the most cringe-worthy wedding story I know of: the bride was known to be quite the lover in her past life, so it was a big deal that she was finally “settling down.” The best man decided to channel her prior promiscuity in his speech. At some point, he ordered her previous lovers to return the keys to her apartment. One after the other, a bunch of men went up and deposited a key in a hat. It didn’t get weird until the end when an elderly man with a walker slowly went up. After him, a very young boy bounced up to the astonishment of most of the gathering. That was over 18 years ago. I still remember it.
#23 Throwing Things At The Bride And Groom Is Never The Right Move
When I was ten years old, I went to my cousin’s wedding. There were trays of lace-wrapped rice tied up into little balls with bows. They were about the size of hacky sacks. I asked my dad what they were for and he just said, “You throw it at the bride and groom as they are leaving.” Well, as soon as the doors opened and they were leaving the church, I threw a 100 mph fastball of rice and nailed my cousin in the eye. She dropped to the ground and started crying, and my dad smacked me upside the head almost simultaneously. Not my finest moment.
#24 The Groom Already Chose His Girl
If you’re a bridesmaid, stop hitting on the intoxicated groom in front of the bride. I was at my boyfriend’s cousin’s wedding a few years back. His cousin was the groom and he danced with everyone—men, women, servers, bottles of beer, etc. The bride didn’t mind; she knew her new husband loved being the life of the party and she was just relieved to be able to take some breaks.
The problem arose with one of her bridesmaids, who kept wanting to dance with the intoxicated groom. He didn’t mind at first until she kept asking for every single dance. At that point, it was actually starting to creep him out and he kept trying to get people in between them. She refused to dance with her actual date, her boyfriend, for the entire reception in preference of the groom.
Eventually, everyone started to get uncomfortable with her behavior because she was starting to grab on to the groom and dance very close to him. Finally, her boyfriend had enough. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her outside. Everyone stopped the party for a few minutes to watch them fighting outside.
No one could actually hear what they were saying, but it was obvious that the boyfriend was hurt and the bridesmaid was trying to defend herself. It ended quickly with the boyfriend storming out of the venue and her chasing after him. The other bridesmaids followed but came back a couple of minutes later without the couple. Everyone had a good laugh and then the party continued. We found out later they broke up that night.
#25 Well-Behaved Dogs Only
When my best friends got married, they brought their dog. The dog kept whining during the ceremony as a relative held her on a leash. When they decided to let her go, she walked onto the grass behind the bride and groom and took a huge #2. It was pretty hilarious, but the bride was not impressed. So don’t bring a dog, I guess.
#26 Photographers Are At Weddings For A Reason
Don’t get in the way of the photographer or videographer. If you want a shot of the couple so bad, ask for a copy. Chances are, the couple paid a decent amount of money for the professional, and they would rather their picture come out without your head in the corner. Also, as much as they’d appreciate your iPhone shot, they probably want the professional’s copy more.
#27 Watch What You Wear
Don’t wear the same dress as the bridesmaids when you’re not a bridesmaid. Everybody’s going to think you’re trying way to hard, even though you didn’t intend to give off that vibe at all.
#28 Don’t Speak Too Long
Speeches (including the one officiating) should last no more than five minutes. People are there to witness a marriage, not listen to people go on.
#29 No Kids Allowed
Don’t bring your children if the couple requested an adults-only wedding.
#30 In Case You Get Cold Feet…
Don’t tell either the bride or the groom, “You can still run!” or anything that’s negative about marriage, really. Don’t burst their bubble just because your marriage is miserable.
#31 The Wayward Ways Of A Five-Year-Old
#32 Don’t Be a Party Pooper
If your sibling is getting married and you fly in for the wedding, do not refuse to take family pictures. You are part of the family and you should include yourself in the pictures. Also, don’t say, “That was torturous!” or “I’ hate weddings” in front of your sibling’s new in-laws. You will look like a brat and, no, unlike your father and mother, the new in-laws will not defend your behavior. And, finally, get off your darn phone. It looks really disrespectful in pictures.
#33 Military Attire Not Recommended
If you’re in the military, DO NOT show up in your dress uniform! It’s the bride and grooms big day, and the uniform is going to attract a lot of attention. The only exception is if the bride and groom specifically requested you or others to wear your uniform.
#34 Not All Weddings Are Open Bar
Don’t complain about there not being an open bar. Seriously, maybe the bride and groom don’t want to have to pay thousands of dollars for their guests to get out of control. Especially if its a wedding on a budget.
#35 Guests Should Never Try To Control The Wedding
At a wedding I attended last year, someone (who was not even someone in the wedding party) tried to change the song for the bride and groom’s first dance… without consulting them. The mother-of-the-bride and a family friend overheard and intercepted. Still, that person kept trying because she didn’t like the song they chose. The father-of-the-bride, who was never one to make a scene, ended up having to pull her outside during the first dance and give her warning that they will kick her out if she didn’t stop her nonsense. Yeah… don’t try and change the wedding plans if you aren’t the bride or groom.
#37 That’s The Last Speech He’ll Ever Give
My twin brother got married almost two years ago. I was, naturally, the best man. I’ve always been the more charismatic and outspoken twin so everyone was expecting a wild and funny best man speech. This put a lot of pressure on me to think of what I was going to say. I had a few ideas but they weren’t very good.
I tried some material out on some friends and there was one joke that I told that always seemed to get laughs. On the night of the wedding, my cousin came to my table, where I had been pounding adult beverages with a few of my closest friends, and informed me that they were ready for me to give my speech.
I took the stage and started my speech with, “Let me ask you all a question.” Everyone was looking at me. “How many of you have an inseparable bond with someone? Someone you can’t imagine life without?” Some people in the audience that have been married for 50+ years raised their hands. “Let me stop you right there. You don’t know anything about inseparable bonds. We were together in the womb. That’s forever. You can’t break that.”
You could almost taste the awkward silence that followed. I quickly wrapped up my speech with a bunch of lovely stuff and took my seat. No one (myself included) knew what to say or do to react to that. In my defense, it sounded a lot more playful and funny in my head but the execution was terrible. I’d like to be able to say I was not sober when it happened, but I had only just gotten started. My mother refuses to believe that I wasn’t inebriated just so she can cope with spawning such a terrible human being. There is a running joke among my family that I’m never allowed to give a speech again.
#38 Wedding Planning Is Hard
Don’t criticize the decor, dresses, food, or whatever. I have been trying for three months to plan a perfect wedding and it sucks. Just getting a venue that will let you leave the runner on the floor long enough to avoid a long gap between the wedding and reception, or getting a caterer who cares that peanuts will kill the groom is impossible. Unless TLC is following the bride with a camera, it will not be perfect.
#39 Cake Does Not Belong On Anyone’s Face
Don’t smash the cake into your spouse’s face. It’s rude.
#40 Those Flowers Are Not Yours To Keep
Don’t take home flower arrangements (unless the bride and groom allow you to or encourage it). My mom has owned a flower shop for 17 years and often times, most of the centerpieces are used at the wedding brunch the next day or given to specific family members. My mom makes brides sign a contract detailing payment and if they will get a discount for returning the vases. The family is put in a sticky situation if a boutique flower shop is expecting to get 10 to 20 vases back the next day. My mom has gotten several calls asking for discounts or cheaper versions of the flowers to be sent out the next day if the guests take them.
#41 A Tacky Money Grab
For future brides and grooms, don’t book a two-week long honeymoon in Japan, have a wedding reception for 100+ people at Maggiano’s with a cash bar, then have a dollar dance during your reception in a region where dollar dances aren’t traditionally done. It ends up looking like a tacky money grab. Weddings are expensive. I get that. I got married two years ago with a strict budget of $5,000 for EVERYTHING. And we still covered the cost of drinks for our guests and managed to find a venue that offered all the aesthetics we wanted.
It took a few months of research, but we made it work. If you’re so hard up for cash that you can’t afford your venue, drinks for your guests, and your honeymoon, then you should probably rethink your reception venue. And I know that dollar dances are traditional in some areas. They are not traditional where I’m from, and combined with the couple’s lavish honeymoon plans, equally lavish reception venue and a cash bar that charged $10 for a glass of wine, it looks like a desperate grab.
#42 Treat People With Kindness
As someone who is currently working during this pretty busy wedding season, I would give advice to anyone at a wedding. Don’t be a jerk to the waiters, waitresses, or anyone working at the wedding. I know it’s your friends’ and families’ special day but we are trying to provide our best service to make it as special as we can.
Working days can last around 12 to 15 hours on busy periods for us. Just because you may be having a three-course meal being paid for by the couple, doesn’t mean you have the right to treat us like slaves. Treat workers like you would anyone else and the service will most likely improve.
#43 Creamer Can Ruin The Day
Don’t pour creamer all over a bridesmaid’s ridiculously expensive dress. The photographer backed into the wedding party’s table and spilled an entire container of half-and-half all over the dress I paid $250 plus another $50 to alter. She turned, glanced at what she’d done, and just shrugged. I took it to the cleaners the next day and they told me to throw it out. Creamer doesn’t come out of cheap satin. I walked out the door and stuffed it in a garbage can. I confronted that photographer and she now owes me $300.
#44 Don’t Be A Bridezilla, Just Don’t
Don’t be a bridezilla. I run audio for weddings and wow, a bridezilla will ruin the whole wedding for everyone in attendance because if they don’t conform to her rules. I did one wedding where the band had to be there all day. They didn’t get anything to eat until just before they had to play, and they were dismissed for a complimentary lunch.
The bride in question requested that the drummer stay and announce the people coming up to give their thoughts on the marriage. Odd, but he accepted and did as such. Finally, it was time for the band to go on. The drummer then said he was going to grab a quick sandwich before they went on. She exploded, yelling about how “she paid them to go on at EXACTLY at 9 p.m.”
When the drummer countered that he had not been paid to announce her family members, she burst into tears about how her entire day had been ruined and if he was happy with himself. She ended up being a whiney brat to everyone around her and ended up pouting in the corner. It got to the point where the band had to play an extra hour outside of the agreed time to keep her from losing her mind again.
#45 The Preacher Didn’t Deserve That
One thing you should probably not do is yell at the preacher after the ceremony. At my uncle’s wedding, someone from my step-family did this. She was always kinda weird and different (in an attention-seeking, sobbing at Christmas, constantly complaining, gothic, no manners, “nobody understands me” sort of way).
So she was sitting next to the guy who performed the ceremony, who also happened to be a good friend of my uncle. He was trying to make uneasy conversation. First, they talked about the wedding, then about the food, then about her problems in high school. At some point, the poor guy just happened to make a slight comment about today’s youth that wasn’t even directed at her.
The girl, thinking she was the implied subject of his remark, BLEWS UP, yelling, “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. HOW CAN YOU JUST JUDGE ME LIKE THAT?!” She even started cursing at him, saying he was a heartless jerk, etc. Meanwhile, the bride and groom were cutting the cake. To make matters worse, she didn’t even apologize, saying SHE didn’t deserve to be that humiliated.
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