People Share The Single Most Stupid Thing They Believed Growing Up
Kids are imaginative… and gullible. Growing up, they tend to think up a lot of pretty outrageous and nonsensical things. It’s only once they’re older that they realize how embarrassing their obliviousness to reality really was.
But that’s just the way a kid’s mind works. When we’re young, we believe everything we’re told because we just don’t know any better. We end up fabricating stories to explain what we don’t quite understand, and that’s totally okay.
Speaking from personal experience, I used to believe buffalo wings came from a buffalo. Such a belief is tame compared to the ones below, which internet users shared online. Prepare for some pretty great laughs:
#45 Sleeping Japanese Style
When I was about four years old, my older sister told me that since the population of Japan was so high, Japanese people slept sideways on their beds so they could fit more people.
When I was 13, I went to a sleepover and suggested we all sleep “Japanese style” on the bed so that everyone could fit. So embarrassing.
#44 Emergencies Everywhere
#43 The End Is The End, My Friends
I remember watching the series finale of Friends when I was 10 years old. My parents kept saying it was the last episode ever.
After it was over, I went to bed and cried. I thought that once a TV show was over, it would never be shown on TV ever again. I thought that I had just witnessed a part of history that would never be seen again in the future. My mom had to come into my bedroom to console me.
She eventually told me that Friends would air again in re-runs.
#42 My Dad Is A Pirate
I went to school the next day and bragged to everyone that my dad was a real pirate. My teacher questioned me about it, and I became extremely defensive. I told her, “You have no idea what you are talking about.”My mom got a call from my teacher that night, saying she was deeply concerned about my “overactive” imagination and that they should look into therapy for me. My mom, sensing that my father was somehow involved in this, brought both of us into the room and explained the situation.
To this day, I’ve never seen my father laugh as hard as he did that day.
#41 The Car’s In Charge
#40 Meatballs Grow On Trees
My mother convinced me that meatballs grew on trees when I was six years old. My aunt had a tree that grew this brown, textured fruit that looked liked meatballs from a distance. This tree was protected by a giant wasp nest. My mother and aunt got tipsy one night and convinced me that the wasps protected the meatballs and that they were harvested like honey. They said you had to put the wasps to sleep first, then quickly gather them.
I fell for it hook line and sinker and about a month later, I threw a tantrum at my teacher because she wouldn’t believe me. I got sent to the principal and was even held in an emergency parent-teacher meeting over this.
My mom lost it laughing in the meeting and had to explain the situation.
#39 The Insane Power Of One Refrigerator
When I was young, my parents told me that if I kept leaving the refrigerator door open, I would freeze the whole world and no one would like me.
#38 What Actors’ Lives Are Really Like
I used to believe that all TV commercials were live and that the actors had to come back and do the commercials over and over again during every break.
#37 The Black Market Is Literally Real
I thought the black market was an actual place. I could never understand how the cops couldn’t find it.
#36 There Are Foreign Children On The Other Side Of Pac-Man
#35 Girls Pee Out Of Their Butts, Apparently
At the time, I had heard that boys and girls were different down there, but I didn’t know how they were different. I instinctively came up with a hypothesis that seemed reasonable at the time: Girls do both #1 and #2 out of their butts.
#34 It’s Called Makeup Art
33 He Was Too Smart To Walk
I thought that Stephen Hawking was in a wheelchair because he was too intelligent. Like, his brain was damaged from being so smart.
#32 Woman Are Storing Extra Fetuses All Around The Body
#31 The Legal Age For Caffeine Is 13
I used to think that there was a legal age for caffeine. When I was in high school, I saw a small kid buy a coffee from McDonald’s and told him that it was illegal. My friends still make fun of me for it.
#30 Parking Punishments
#29 What Really Happens To People Born On February 29th
I thought that little people (like Peter Dinklage) were so small because they were born on February 29th. I figured that since their birthday only came round once every four years, they would only grow to quarter size.
#28 The Philadelphia Eagles’ Have A Side Project
#27 Being President Comes With Certain Death
It made me wonder why anyone would even choose that career to begin with.
#26 The Power Of The Pen Is Mighty
I was fortunate enough to have a computer when I was growing up back in the early ’90s. We had a few games on floppy disc that I played all the time, but I always wanted more and couldn’t convince my parents to buy them for me.One day, my ridiculous self thought, “If I just scribble out the name of the game on the disc, that should do the trick!”
I told my dad about my idea and he just shook his head. He was probably ashamed of the fool he was raising. I wasn’t discouraged though. I grabbed a pen and scribbled “Ghost Busters” on a copy of some flight simulator game, popped it in and fired it up.
I was disappointed.
#25 Weekends Are Only For Good Kids
My parents found out that my uncle told me this, and they decided to go along with it.I only found out the truth when one day, I accidentally dropped food all over my dad’s car when he was picking us up from school. I felt so bad, trying to clean up the mess, but my mom saw and told my dad. When we got home, he told me that, unfortunately, I lost my weekend.
Thinking it was Monday, I woke up early, got dressed and walked to school. I arrived at a completely empty building and was as confused as ever. My parents ended up searching for me, calling relatives, and luckily finding me outside the school gate.
I don’t remember ever seeing my mom so mad before.
#24 How Swallowing Food Actually Works
I always heard people say “it went down the wrong hole” when they choked on something, so I automatically assumed that humans had separate “holes” for food and drink. I thought that whenever we swallowed, our bodies just automatically sorted it out.When I was 12 years old, I swallowed a french fry and it went down awkwardly. I told my mom that it must of went down my drink hole and she became super confused. She later explained to me how swallowing actually worked.
#23 There’s Only One Way To Ride A Motorcycle
When I was a pre-schooler, my mom told me that you weren’t allowed to ride a motorcycle or get tattoos unless your mother was dead.One day, outside the grocery store, I saw a big, tough-looking dude covered in tattoos, straddling the loudest motorcycle ever. Five-year-old me went up to him and asked, “Hey. Is your mom dead?”
The guy looked at me and said, “Yeah.”
I was shocked that my mom was right.
#22 Mass Produced Magic Carpets
#21 What Year Was Color Invented?
I thought colors were, at one point, discovered or invented and that before then, we lived in a black and white world. I learned the truth in class one day after raising my hand and asking the teacher if she knew when color was invented. Everybody laughed at me.
#20 Joke’s On You, Coach
We got off topic in math class one day after someone cracked their knuckles. Someone asked the teacher what made that sound, and people started coming up with all kinds of theories. I had actually read about knuckle cracking before and explained to the class that the noise was actually a release of tiny little air bubbles in the joints. My teacher looked at me with a look of utter contempt on his face and said, “Air? What are you, stupid? It’s the bones hitting together.”
I never spoke up about anything in his class ever again. I also printed an article about it at the end of the year and left it on his desk with “WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID?” written across it in red Sharpie.
Take that, Coach C.
#19 The Best Driving Advice Is Always From Children
I believed that if you stopped at a “Stop Ahead” sign, you wouldn’t have to stop at the stop sign, because you stopped ahead of time.
It was eternally frustrating watching my parents not take this incredibly obvious shortcut.
#18 The Worldwide Gender Conspiracy
#12 Healing A Broken Heart With Stories
My birth parents split when I was four years old. My mom remarried a guy who, while an amazing stepdad, was profoundly the polar opposite of my dad. So, any chance he got, my dad would say something outrageous to me that he knew would make me doubt my sweet-natured stepdad. One time, out of the blue, my dad asked me what type of beer my stepdad drank. I told him that he drank Rolling Rock. My brilliant dad then said this:
“Oh, Rolling Rock! I’ll tell you something amazing about Rolling Rock. Have you ever looked at the can? It has polar bears frolicking under a waterfall, right? Well, here’s why that is: In Pennsylvania, where they bottle Rolling Rock, they maintain a nature preserve that is full of nothing but polar bears. Well, once a month, they send a bunch of mean men inside the area with the bears and they chase them around in jeeps and trucks. Then, once they’re certain that they all have upset tummies, they herd them all into this big pool of water at the top of the waterfall. The moment those bears get into the water, they starting barfing everywhere. Then, the men at the bottom collect the barf water with barrels. And THAT is how they make Rolling Rock beer.”
Even as a young child I questioned this story, but there was always just a tiny part of me that wanted to believe my stepdad was unknowingly drinking polar bear excrement.
#11 How To Make Your Butt Smaller
I thought excrement was stored in your butt cheeks and if you went #2 too much, your butt would deflate.
#10 A Lot Goes On In North Carolina
I used to believe that “Inc.” stood for “in North Carolina.”I live in North Carolina, and my dad told me that was what it meant. I believed it for an embarrassingly long time.
I still cringe when I think about it.
#9 What’s The Difference Between A Human And A Camel?
#8 Good Old War Stories Get Them Every Time
Years later, my grandfather passed away. Shortly after his funeral, I was talking to my grandmother and I mentioned the spoons that my grandfather had enjoyed so much. I’ll never forget her words:”German tank? Don’t be bloody stupid. He bought those spoons at an end-of-war sale in Cardiff.”
#7 Peanut Butter Comes From Squirrels
My dad made me believe that peanut butter came from squeezing squirrels. He also told me that white milk came from white cows, chocolate milk came from brown cows, and milkshakes came from shaking the cows.
#6 Ground Traffic Control
#5 Watch Out For Snakes On The Highway
For years, I believed that snakes actually jumped into vehicles and attacked motorists.
#4 Learning Chinese Is Easy-Peasy
#3 One Way To Time Travel Is Through The VCR
#2 Use Salt To Catch Chipmunks
My brother and I would spend hours a day running around the yard with a bucket and a salt shaker. I think the last time I tried was when I was like, nine years old. I never really thought about it again until I was 15, and it was mind-blowing to realize it was all just to keep us busy outside.