People Share The Single Most Stupid Thing They Believed Growing Up
Kids are imaginative… and gullible. Growing up, they tend to think up a lot of pretty outrageous and nonsensical things. It’s only once they’re older that they realize how embarrassing their obliviousness to reality really was.
But that’s just the way a kid’s mind works. When we’re young, we believe everything we’re told because we just don’t know any better. We end up fabricating stories to explain what we don’t quite understand, and that’s totally okay.
Speaking from personal experience, I used to believe buffalo wings came from a buffalo. Such a belief is tame compared to the ones below, which internet users shared online. Prepare for some pretty great laughs:
#45 Sleeping Japanese Style
When I was about four years old, my older sister told me that since the population of Japan was so high, Japanese people slept sideways on their beds so they could fit more people.
When I was 13, I went to a sleepover and suggested we all sleep “Japanese style” on the bed so that everyone could fit. So embarrassing.
I remember watching the series finale of Friends when I was 10 years old. My parents kept saying it was the last episode ever.
After it was over, I went to bed and cried. I thought that once a TV show was over, it would never be shown on TV ever again. I thought that I had just witnessed a part of history that would never be seen again in the future. My mom had to come into my bedroom to console me.
She eventually told me that Friends would air again in re-runs.
My dad owned a lot of gold jewelry. When I asked him where he got all of it, he replied, “I’m a pirate.” After intense questioning from me, and more nonsense from my dad saying that my uncle was his first mate and that he retired the pirate life when he married my mom, I was sold.
I went to school the next day and bragged to everyone that my dad was a real pirate. My teacher questioned me about it, and I became extremely defensive. I told her, “You have no idea what you are talking about.”My mom got a call from my teacher that night, saying she was deeply concerned about my “overactive” imagination and that they should look into therapy for me. My mom, sensing that my father was somehow involved in this, brought both of us into the room and explained the situation.
To this day, I’ve never seen my father laugh as hard as he did that day.
My mother convinced me that meatballs grew on trees when I was six years old.My aunt had a tree that grew this brown, textured fruit that looked liked meatballs from a distance. This tree was protected by a giant wasp nest. My mother and aunt got tipsy one night and convinced me that the wasps protected the meatballs and that they were harvested like honey. They said you had to put the wasps to sleep first, then quickly gather them.
I fell for it hook line and sinker and about a month later, I threw a tantrum at my teacher because she wouldn’t believe me. I got sent to the principal and was even held in an emergency parent-teacher meeting over this.
My mom lost it laughing in the meeting and had to explain the situation.
When I was seven years old, I accidentally went into the girl’s bathroom and heard a girl peeing. I didn’t see anything because she was behind a stall door, but I immediately noticed that the sound of her pee hitting the toilet water was different.
At the time, I had heard that boys and girls were different down there, but I didn’t know how they were different.I instinctively came up with a hypothesis that seemed reasonable at the time: Girls do both #1 and #2 out of their butts.
I used to think that there was a legal age for caffeine. When I was in high school, I saw a small kid buy a coffee from McDonald’s and told him that it was illegal. My friends still make fun of me for it.
I grew up near the mountains. On major mountain roads, there are pull-outs with signs that read “30 Minute Chain Up.” Sometime in middle school, I learned that those signs meant you could stop for 30 minutes to put snow chains on your car, not that you would be chained up for 30 minutes as punishment for parking there.
#29 What Really Happens To People Born On February 29th
I thought that little people (like Peter Dinklage) were so small because they were born on February 29th. I figured that since their birthday only came round once every four years, they would only grow to quarter size.
I was fortunate enough to have a computer when I was growing up back in the early ’90s. We had a few games on floppy disc that I played all the time, but I always wanted more and couldn’t convince my parents to buy them for me.One day, my ridiculous self thought, “If I just scribble out the name of the game on the disc, that should do the trick!”
I told my dad about my idea and he just shook his head. He was probably ashamed of the fool he was raising. I wasn’t discouraged though. I grabbed a pen and scribbled “Ghost Busters” on a copy of some flight simulator game, popped it in and fired it up.
When I was around six years old, my uncle told me that kids who misbehaved would not get weekends. Instead, the week would restart and the weekend would be skipped over.
My parents found out that my uncle told me this, and they decided to go along with it.I only found out the truth when one day, I accidentally dropped food all over my dad’s car when he was picking us up from school. I felt so bad, trying to clean up the mess, but my mom saw and told my dad. When we got home, he told me that, unfortunately, I lost my weekend.
Thinking it was Monday, I woke up early, got dressed and walked to school. I arrived at a completely empty building and was as confused as ever. My parents ended up searching for me, calling relatives, and luckily finding me outside the school gate.
I don’t remember ever seeing my mom so mad before.
I always heard people say “it went down the wrong hole” when they choked on something, so I automatically assumed that humans had separate “holes” for food and drink. I thought that whenever we swallowed, our bodies just automatically sorted it out.When I was 12 years old, I swallowed a french fry and it went down awkwardly. I told my mom that it must of went down my drink hole and she became super confused. She later explained to me how swallowing actually worked.
When I was a pre-schooler, my mom told me that you weren’t allowed to ride a motorcycle or get tattoos unless your mother was dead.One day, outside the grocery store, I saw a big, tough-looking dude covered in tattoos, straddling the loudest motorcycle ever. Five-year-old me went up to him and asked, “Hey. Is your mom dead?”
When I was eight years old, I read this article in The Enquirer about flying carpets. I totally thought they were going to be released for mass production. Oh, how I wanted to be rich enough to buy one.
I thought colors were, at one point, discovered or invented and that before then, we lived in a black and white world. I learned the truth in class one day after raising my hand and asking the teacher if she knew when color was invented. Everybody laughed at me.
We got off topic in math class one day after someone cracked their knuckles. Someone asked the teacher what made that sound, and people started coming up with all kinds of theories. I had actually read about knuckle cracking before and explained to the class that the noise was actually a release of tiny little air bubbles in the joints.My teacher looked at me with a look of utter contempt on his face and said, “Air? What are you, stupid? It’s the bones hitting together.”
I never spoke up about anything in his class ever again. I also printed an article about it at the end of the year and left it on his desk with “WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID?” written across it in red Sharpie.
My birth parents split when I was four years old. My mom remarried a guy who, while an amazing stepdad, was profoundly the polar opposite of my dad. So, any chance he got, my dad would say something outrageous to me that he knew would make me doubt my sweet-natured stepdad.One time, out of the blue, my dad asked me what type of beer my stepdad drank. I told him that he drank Rolling Rock. My brilliant dad then said this:
“Oh, Rolling Rock! I’ll tell you something amazing about Rolling Rock. Have you ever looked at the can? It has polar bears frolicking under a waterfall, right? Well, here’s why that is: In Pennsylvania, where they bottle Rolling Rock, they maintain a nature preserve that is full of nothing but polar bears. Well, once a month, they send a bunch of mean men inside the area with the bears and they chase them around in jeeps and trucks. Then, once they’re certain that they all have upset tummies, they herd them all into this big pool of water at the top of the waterfall. The moment those bears get into the water, they starting barfing everywhere. Then, the men at the bottom collect the barf water with barrels. And THAT is how they make Rolling Rock beer.”
Even as a young child I questioned this story, but there was always just a tiny part of me that wanted to believe my stepdad was unknowingly drinking polar bear excrement.
#9 What’s The Difference Between A Human And A Camel?
When I was a kid, my teacher said humans were mammals. I wasn’t paying much attention and heard her say that humans were camels instead.
Being the lover of fun facts that I was, I told everyone I knew that humans were actually camels. No one ever corrected me. This went on for years until one day, I heard someone say that humans were mammals again and it all clicked.
My grandfather used to have three serving spoons with the German Luftwaffe emblem stamped on them. During World War II, he was stationed out in the Middle East, and throughout my childhood, he used to tell me a story of how he and a small group of fellow soldiers came across a German tank. For two whole days, they played a game of cat and mouse, battling against the tank until finally, it ran out of ammo and they were able to overthrow it. Once they captured the crew, they searched the tank and my grandfather found the spoons inside, keeping them as trophies of the victory.
Years later, my grandfather passed away. Shortly after his funeral, I was talking to my grandmother and I mentioned the spoons that my grandfather had enjoyed so much. I’ll never forget her words:”German tank? Don’t be bloody stupid. He bought those spoons at an end-of-war sale in Cardiff.”
My dad made me believe that peanut butter came from squeezing squirrels. He also told me that white milk came from white cows, chocolate milk came from brown cows, and milkshakes came from shaking the cows.
When I was nine years old, the lady that was taking care of me at the time was driving me down the interstate. I rolled the window down and she said, “Boy! You better roll that window up before a snake jump in here and hit me! You see the way them snakes be jumping back and forth across that road!”
For years, I believed that snakes actually jumped into vehicles and attacked motorists.
My dad told me that writing Chinese was as easy as putting a lot of lines together. “Anyone can do it,” he’d say.
Being the young and naive kid that I was, I thought that meant if I just put some lines together, I would be writing Chinese. I got excited and starting drawing a bunch of lines together to form what I thought were Chinese characters. I took it to my dad and asked him what the words meant. He looked at me dumbfounded and said that it didn’t mean anything.
For years, I was really confused as to why my dad couldn’t read Chinese but I could.
My parents got a new VCR that had a programmable recording feature. I found this feature and saw that you could select a future time and date. Not knowing what it actually did, I briefly thought that we had the ability to watch TV that hadn’t aired yet.
My dad told me that I could have a pet chipmunk or squirrel if I caught one. He told me the key to catching one was to shake salt on their tail because they would always stop to lick the salt off.
My brother and I would spend hours a day running around the yard with a bucket and a salt shaker.I think the last time I tried was when I was like, nine years old. I never really thought about it again until I was 15, and it was mind-blowing to realize it was all just to keep us busy outside.
My sister used to believe that guerilla warfare literally involved gorillas. She’d hear on the news about guerillas attacking and thought that a rampaging troop of gorillas was attacking various towns.