Parents Share The Exact Moment They Realized That They’ve Raised A Monster
Parenting is no easy gig. There’s no instruction manual for how to properly raise a child. Most moms and dads try their best to shape their kids into kind, decent members of society. However, there are times when all the parenting tips and tricks in the world can’t fix a child. Some children seem to be born wild, chaotic, mean, or malicious… and their parents are forced to deal with the disaster that they created. These are the sort of kids that make parents ask: Why me?
Can you imagine dealing with a kid who calls strangers ugly? How about a child who pours paint thinner all over your garden, or a child who believes she’s a vampire… and likes to bite the kids in her class? Sure, every kid has their quirks, but these little weirdos take strangeness to the next level. These parents took to the Internet to share the moment that they realized they were raising a monster!
#1 Well, At Least The Others Turned Out Okay
When my sons were 12 and 13, the older one stole $600 from my wife and I. He gave the younger one half. When they were caught and everything was said and done, the younger son told us that we didn’t have the right to take “his” money from him because he didn’t steal it. That was when I knew. Now ages 19 and 20, the older son has long grown out of it.
The younger one has never stopped stealing and lying. Before moving out, he told me that he has always resented me for locking things up and not letting him take whatever he wanted from us. It amazes me because we raised all four of our kids the same way and the other two have always been good kids. Oh well, you can’t win them all.
#2 Wow, The Level Of Pettiness Is Admirable
My five and ten-year-old were having an epic verbal war in the living room which ended abruptly after I shouted various generic parenting noises in their direction. My five-year-old son then walked confidently into the kitchen, took a picture of his brother off the fridge proceeded to dispose of it in the bin. Utterly monstrous behavior, of course, but honestly I was secretly impressed with his top passive aggression.
#3 Wait, You Think This Is Cute?
Years ago, my wife and I had a very heated argument. Our daughter overheard us and came into the room just as things hit their peak. My wife rushed into the bathroom crying. I was left sitting on the bed feeling low, listening to my wife sob on the other side of the door. Our daughter looked up at me with a smile and said, “Mommy’s crying.” Then, she proceeded to laugh loud enough for her mom to hear. And with that, I was in trouble for something entirely new.
#4 So, You’re A Spoiled Little Brat
Our 13-year-old son decided to steal $200 that was hidden in my desk one week before Christmas. He then spent it all in one day on candy and yelled at us for confiscating whatever was left of it. He also told us it was our fault for leaving money in the house. To confirm that he is a horrible person, he told his mom that he doesn’t like seeing anyone else happy, which is why he broke his one-year-old brother’s things.
#5 Ouch, That Must’ve Hurt
My kid was 12 years old at the time. We were driving his friend home after a sleepover and they were taking turns roasting each other in the back seat. At one point, my kid said, “Your parents probably knew you would stutter, that’s why they named you A-aron.” Yes, his friend did have a stuttering problem. No, his friend did not take it as a joke.
#6 Yeah, You Kinda Did This To Yourself
To teach my kid the value of money, we’d give her snack money every day. We later found out that she was just giving it away not understanding the value of money at all. After a few long deep conversations where I had to admit I became a capitalist poster boy, she started to understand that money has a value; that it can be hard to get and that it’s even harder to keep.
Fast forward a few weeks later: we ran out of milk and I only had my card on me. Plus, our local shop would only accept card purchases over $10. I figured I’d ask my darling angel little girl if I could borrow $1 for milk and put it back tomorrow. “No. No, you can’t have my money, Daddy,” she said to me sternly. “I earned it and you need to learn that money doesn’t just fall from the sky. You can’t just go around giving everything away as pretty soon you’ll have nothing.” Either I suck at parenting or I’m really good at it.
#7 Okay, Son, Where Did You Hide The Duck?
I have two sons. One is 11 and the other seven. The seven-year-old is… special. Highly intelligent and very social, but also engages in a lot of deep thinking. One Sunday morning, he came up to me, out of the blue, and said: “Dad, how do ducks work?” I replied, “How to what? What? Ducks? Huh?” in a half-sleep state. Before I could work out what he wanted to know, he said: “I guess if I open one up, I’ll find out?” and walked away.
#8 Is That All That Video Games Are For?
“Daddy, can you get me this game called The Sims?”
“Sure, surprised you’ve heard of it…”
“Oh yeah, Suzy says it’s so much more satisfying killing people instead of the pigs I kill in Minecraft.”
“Is your main reason that you play video games? So you can kill things?”
“Well, keeps me from doing it in real life, so I don’t see the problem with that.”
Then she winked at me.
I still don’t know if she was just messing with me.
#9 Are You Actually Mocking Me?
My husband has a habit of messing with me. As I was stepping into the shower, he threw ice cold water down my back and I let out a shriek. My 18-month-old then came running in from her bedroom, looked me dead in the eye and screamed “AHH!” in this overly dramatic, whiney voice. She did it three more times after that. The little brat ran in from the other room just to mock me. Red flag? Likely.
#10 You’re Getting Written Out Of The Will
When my sons were in their early teens, we were chatting about how kids often become the caregivers of their parents once their parents get older. One of them offhandedly remarked that they’d look for the cheapest nursing home at which to park me. The sad part is, he seemed super serious about it. I know it’s not a required duty, but it’s always nice to think your kids have your back. Mine apparently don’t.
#11 Hey, He’s Grateful For What He Has…
My three-year-old was given a small Fisher Price trampoline for his birthday. It’s like, three feet in diameter. A few months later, we got invited to take him to Sky Zone, which is a giant indoor warehouse that is wall-to-wall trampolines. It’s awesome. My wife turned to my son and said, “Hey buddy, do you want to go to the trampoline place?” Without missing a beat, my kid rolled his eyes at her, jerked his thumb towards the Fisher Price one, and said, in the most condescending tone a three-year-old could muster, “I have one.”
#12 Goodness Gracious, Would You Please Stop Climbing
Before my son could crawl, he learned how to climb the extra tall baby gate. Before he could walk, he climbed the window sill. Before he could run, he climbed the bunk bed. Before he could open an applesauce container, he learned how to unlock the front door. I’m not sure what moment made me think “Yep. He’s a monster.” It might have been when I almost witnessed Harambe 2.
When we were at the zoo, I ducked down for ten seconds to tie his sister’s shoe. When I looked up, he had one leg over the barrier, ready to go say hello to the gorillas. Or it might have been when I resigned myself to the leash. I brought it home and prepared for the protests beforehand. Instead, he declared himself a puppy dog, made his siblings play police with him for two hours while he “sniffed out the bad guys,” then gleefully showed me how easy it was for him to take the thing off. I give up.
#13 No, Pal, That’s Not How That Works
We had our young cat fixed and she just slept all day after coming back from the vet clinic. After watching the cat lying around all day, my 11-year-old son asked in a very concerned voice: “Do you think she is sad because she can’t have babies?” My seven-year-old son then followed up with another question: “So, if she doesn’t recover, would we get a cash settlement?”
#14 Yeah, You’re Supposed To Feel Sad
My parents’ dog died and I had to explain to my kids that he passed away. My kids grew up with this dog. He always in their lives and we were all really upset as expected… except my youngest. At some point, he asked, “Wait, that’s sad, right?” Um yes, the correct emotional response here is sadness. He was six. I keep an eye on that one.
#15 Woah, Kiddo, That’s Going Too Far
Lovely little girl: “Daddy, you’re fat.”
Me: “Yes, I do have a big tummy.”
Lovely little girl: “Daddy, you’re ugly.”
How does one respond to that from a five-year-old? Also, she told my wife that she wants to put her in the garbage bin and never see her again. We’re English and garbage isn’t a word we really use! All this while we enjoyed a family holiday last week.
#16 Man, This Kid Is A Mess
At about 15 months old, my daughter was beginning her potty training phase. She discovered that we liked it when she went #1 in the potty, to which she immediately decided the potty could be replaced by any container she could find. The next day, she delicately removed all the clothes from her dresser drawer, pulled out the drawer, then sat and went #1 in it.
Two months later, she stacked toys on top of her high chair and climbed Mount Dangerous to get to the top of the fridge where I was keeping a box of red velvet cake mix. She mixed it with water, ate some, decided she didn’t like it, then began to rub it into her carpet… her very white carpet ( we live in a rental home). She’s nine now and she’s still nuts.
#17 Awesome, I’m Raising A Maniac
When my son was six-months-old, he had a nasty virus that he gave to me. It was the second night of no sleep and he was crying inconsolably while I tried to rock him to sleep. I was so exhausted and miserable that I started sobbing too. He stopped crying, looked at me, and laughed. My first thought was “Oh good, I’m raising a maniac.” At least he stopped crying.
#18 No, You’re Not A Vampire, Honey
It’s relatively normal for t0ddlers to bite, right? You let them and then teach them it’s bad later. Well, when my sister was 11, my mother was called to our school because she was biting all the boys in her class. Hard. Also, she was saying she was a vampire, that she loved them all, and was going to turn them into her personal zombie army. Of course, she was joking, but what kind of joke is biting people?
#19 Sure, Let’s Crush Strangers’ Self-Esteem
We were shopping in a grocery store and my four-year-old looked at an employee and said, “Your lips are ugly.” She didn’t give an explanation, she kind of just blurted her out. The employee thought it was just one of those darndest things kids say, so she let out a laugh. My daughter was having none of it and asked, “Why are you laughing? I’m telling the truth.” I had a long talk with her afterward about being polite.
#20 That’s Not Funny, Little Guy
My mom found out she was raising a monster when we were out baby clothes shopping with my pregnant aunt. My aunt’s first baby had died a few days after birth. My brother asked her: “Why are you buying clothes for the baby when you don’t even know it’s going to live?” My aunt burst into tears and my mom pulled him by the ear to scold him in a corner.
#25 Did You Really Think That Would Work?
Oh man, too many to list. The most recent is when my son shot me with his Nerf gun directly in my eyeball. My eye still hurts a week later. A couple of weeks ago, my other son went #2 on the floor and put a donut on top of it to hide it. He thought it was the perfect solution and kept doing it all around the house. I’m raising a bunch of savages.
#22 Oh Man, You Really Screwed Up
My little brother poured paint thinner all over my mom’s flowers one summer after my dad accidentally left it on the deck (we were repainting our exterior). I’m just relieved that he didn’t drink it. Still, it was definitely an “Oh my god” moment because my mom probably spends 100 hours or more on her flowerbed, not to mention hundreds of dollars every spring and summer. It was a big deal.
#23 Do You Want Me To Go To Jail?
My 11-year-old son recently called 911 and said I slapped him. Child Protective Services came and it was a cluster. It was so well orchestrated, he even took a picture of himself with a red mark on his face. It eventually got debunked although he still won’t admit it. He’s not allowed to use the house phone without supervision anymore.
#24 Yep, There’s No Hope For Her
Today, my three-year-old dipped her cantaloupe in ketchup and ate a whole plate of it. I told her not to do it because it would make her tummy feel bad later. She didn’t care and just kept doing it. A few hours later, the worst that I had expected happened. She had a horrible case of upset stomach for the next couple of days. We’re strict with her diet now.
#25 Great Place To Cause A Scene, Guys
A day before Thanksgiving, I went to the grocery store with my kids who were then six, three, and one. Everyone was ready to be done for the day and we just had one more stop to make: I needed rum to make a cake.
The scene occurred in the canned foods aisle where everyone and their dog is jostling for green bean casserole supplies.
My oldest: Can we go home after this?
Me: Almost. After this, we just have to go to the adult beverages store.
My oldest: The adult beverages store? What’s that?!
Me (as every judgmental biddy turns to look): It’s a place we need to go and please don’t say that so loud.
My oldest smiles. I can see the wheels turning in her head as she looks me dead in the eye and screams: ADULT BEVERAGES STORE!
My middle kid then follows her lead. My kids are nuts and I love them.
#26 You’re Never Getting Another Loaner, Pal
Three years ago, I loaned my son my car for his newly pregnant wife. They just gave it back. They never cleaned it once. It had so many leaves on the outside, I had to vacuum it to wash it. That’s when I found that the surface was covered in mold (inside and out!). He also didn’t pay for the taxes for two years so I’m not sure what to do about that…
PS. I have a car for sale, cheap.
#27 Oh My Gosh
My three-year-old granddaughter was visiting us. We were playing. With a huge smile on her face she said, “Pawpaw, I’m gonna stab you in the mouth.” As I looked at her a little shocked I asked, “Why my mouth?” She looked at me with a smile that would light the world and said, “So no one can hear you scream, silly.”
#28 No, We’re Not Signing Up For That
My kid and I walked passed this Tae Kwon Do place that I’ve always wanted to sign her up for. After months of refusing, she finally said, “Yes, I’ll sign up.” We walked a little further down the street and she mumbled, “Then I can beat up Isabella.” We didn’t sign up. I didn’t realize my daughter had devious intentions teeming in her mind.
#29 It’s A Good Thing, Guys!
The night before my younger baby brother came home from the hospital, I had a dream that I was holding him on the upper deck of a cruise ship and I threw him off into the ocean. When he came home and I got to hold him, I saw he was a harmless baby, so I decided my dream was nonsense and said: “I would never throw you in the ocean!” You could imagine the looks on my parents’ faces.
#30 Is She Over It Yet?
My wife’s mother passed away unexpectedly. No disease or anything. My wife was, of course, devastated. The day after, I woke up to hear my wife on the couch, just bawling her eyes out. I walked out to comfort her. Our ten-year-old daughter stopped me in the hall. “Why is mom crying so much?” she asked. “Well, her mother just died,” I explained to her. “But that was yesterday…”
#31 No More Toys For You, Buddy
My wife and I gave our son a plastic baseball bat for his birthday. We didn’t realize it was a bad idea at the time. The plastic ended up being pretty hard and not just some cheap, weak material. Well, one day I walked outside to see my younger five-year-old daughter screaming and running away from my eight-year-old son who was holding the baseball bat and whacking her wherever he could.
He was wearing my jeans, had a bandana on, and a baseball cap on backwards. He kept calling himself a cool kid and wouldn’t stop whacking her. I ran over and stopped him while my wife took our daughter inside to get an ice pack. I took the bat away and asked him why he was hitting her, and he said: “Because I’m a cool kid and cool kids show their siblings who is the leader, Daddy.”
He got grounded for a week. After that, he told me he was very sorry. But, he wasn’t finished… A month later, I found him running around in a ninja costume from last Halloween with a plastic sword, whacking my daughter again! I ran over, stopped him, and my daughter ran off. When I asked him why he hit her this time, he said: “Because it’s fun.”
He got grounded for a very long time, and then I realized he needed counseling. He is now 20 and my daughter is 17. My son had come over for dinner one night and somehow that was brought up. He denied the entire thing even though before that, he said he remembered counseling! I just hope he doesn’t raise his newborn son to be a karate master or a gunslinger.
#32 You’re Going To Be A Casanova, Son
I was picking my son up from daycare the other day. I’ve always known him to be a bit of a flirt, but I got to see it in full action. One of his teachers came to give him a hug and he brushed her off at first. Then, he gave her such a big hug after she had worked for it. She was all happy about getting her hug and escalated it into swinging him around and tickling him.
He was going for just that though, I could tell. He knew exactly how to get what he wanted from her. He’s three years old. I was watching and realized this kid knows he’s cute, likes attention from girls, and isn’t afraid to use his looks to get it. I’m in trouble when he hits his teen years. He’s going to be a total heartbreaker, and maybe not in a good way.
#33 Thanks For Clearing That Up, Mommy
My five-year-old was eating some chocolate, and I told him not to get any on the floor because Sadie, my family’s dog, would eat it.
Him: Then she’ll die?
Him: Mommy, I thought you don’t like Sadie.
Me: Well yeah, I don’t.
Him: And you don’t want her to die?
Me: Well… You can dislike someone, but that doesn’t mean you hate them enough that you want them to die.
Him: Oh. So, it’s okay if you don’t like someone? You don’t have to kill them or anything, right?
Him: Oh. Okay. Thanks, Mommy.
Had he just been going around expecting to kill people he didn’t like? I’ll never know.
#34 Yikes, I Hope You Made Her Clean It
My daughter was naughty as a preschooler. We used to put her in the kitchen for a timeout. We had a safety gate on the doorway and as long as nothing was cooking in there, it was like a holding pen for her. Well, she started to ask to go to the toilet as soon as she was put in there. At first, she was allowed to go, but pretty soon it became clear she was just using the toilet as an excuse to get out of the timeout early.
The first time I told her she could go to the toilet after timeout (which usually only lasts a few minutes). she proceeded to go #1 on the kitchen floor in retaliation. She has a terrible temper. She’s 15 now and that temper is still there. Living with her is like being in an abusive relationship. We are thinking of taking her to a therapist because we’re afraid that one day, she’ll just spiral out of control.
#35 Sweetie, That’s A Super Creepy Request
My six-year-old has always had weird interests. She asked me once to show her pictures of what’s inside our bodies. I showed her diagrams on Google, and she said, “No, I mean inside of a REAL body. Like a lifeless person.” I showed her some random picture of an arm surgery and she was begging for more. I mean, I think that’s a red flag.
Also, whenever we’re driving somewhere, she always asks me to stop so she can look at dead animals on the road. When my childhood dog died, she tried to sneak and look inside the bag while I was bawling. We’re really pushing her to go into the medical field and not the serial killer field. It’s okay to be concerned about death, but obsessed with it? That’s a different story.
#36 Oh, So Many Red Flags
My brother was always the naughty one. Shoplifting as a kid, mouthing off at school, etc. But I think they realized he was a genuinely bad person when he stole a bunch of stuff out of some old guy’s cabin and then burned it down so he wouldn’t get caught. Spoiler alert: He got caught because he pawned everything he stole at our local pawn shop. They had his name and caught him on camera.
#37 And Everyone Thought It Was Cute? Heck No
My sister’s older girl is a saint, but the little one is a psychopath. One of the worst was last year when one of my sister’s ureters broke and she had to get a tube from her kidney out of her body and into a bag while said ureter healed. She was pretty ill and was hospitalized for a bit more than a month. Anyway, the second night that she was back home, our little kid PULLED the tube out of my sister’s kidney, requiring her to get emergency surgery.
The little girl’s excuse? She KNEW doing that would hurt mommy, but she was getting SO MUCH attention from daddy since she got home… The worst part is that my sister and brother-in-law thought it was cute… My older niece would have never gotten away with something like that, so I don’t really get why they spoil the younger one so much. I know she’s my niece, but I just can’t see past those behaviors and like her. She’s six, by the way.
#38 You’ve Got A Skewed Idea Of Humor, Sweetie
My son told me that pouring hot water on daddy would be so, so, so funny. When my daughter was much younger, she and my ex’s son talked at great length about how fun it would be to chop me up, cook my body, and throw me away. I’m not sure where they got those ideas from; maybe they’ve been watching too much TV unsupervised.
#39 Hey, He Tried To Make You Happy
My six-year-old daughter told me to shave that thing off, my goatee. A couple of days later, I did. I asked her, “Do you like it?” She then made a bit of a face and said, “No, I didn’t know your chin was so small.”
#40 This Must’ve Been A Long Car Ride
Three-year-old daughter deliberately screaming to wake up her four-month-old sister. For five hours. During a long car ride.
#41 Wow, Thanks For Making It Worse
My son decided, in the grocery store parking lot, that it would be “fun” to scream “YOU’RE NOT MY MOMMY! WHERE’S MY MOMMY? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!” He had this evil smirk on his face as I panicked and tried to explain what could happen if someone heard that. He started yelling it louder. Luckily, there weren’t many people around.
#42 Oh, You’re Evil, Alright
My son blithely told me he wanted to play the documentary Under the Curve for his classmates because he was trying to convince them the world is flat. He admits he knows it is not, but he is trying, actively, to CON them into thinking it is. He has no endgame, he just wants to manipulate people for no reason. I don’t think that’s a very good sign.
#43 Um, It’s Time For An Exorcism
This chilling conversation with my then four-and-a-half-year-old daughter happened:
“Mommy, do you love me?”
“Of course, my darling! I love you forever and always, no matter what!”
“Even after I end my little brother?”
She had a sweet-as-pie smile on her face and serious look in her eye.
#44 This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
I watched my younger son walk out on the porch, pick up a plastic whiffle bat, look at his older brother sitting on the porch steps, look back at the bat, and then haul back and crack his brother’s head like Babe Ruth popping one out of the park. I could watch his thought process in five seconds time: Bat. Brother. Bat. Hit. No hesitation.
#45 Man, That Must’ve Been A Rough Moment
I had a neighborhood kid babysitting for my little ones after school. She had some of her friends over and they got into our cabinet where we kept all our adult beverages. We told her mom about it and she very indignantly told us we were lying. About a month later, her dad came to the house with a bottle of kirschwasser, a couple of cheap gold necklaces from my wife, a spare key to our house and an old checkbook from a closed bank account. He apologized profusely and I remember him saying, “I never thought my kid would be the bad kid in the neighborhood.” It was painful to see.