Moms Share The Dark Secret They Know Their Child Is Hiding From Them
Kids are sneaky, there’s no doubt about it. However, the same can also be said for parents — in fact, they have years of experience being sneaky, and they know a whole lot more about our sneakiness than we think.
Your parents probably know about all the stuff you try to keep secret. After all, they were also kids at some point. Mothers were asked to reveal to the world what secrets they knew about their children, and the responses range from heart-warming to downright hilarious. From every conceivable point of view, here’s a massive compilation of parents knowing exactly what their kids were up to.
Don’t forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!
#1 She’s One Heck Of An Avid Reader
My 9-year-old pretends to go to sleep when I put her in bed but a soon as I shut her door, I hear the bedside lamp click on and her nightstand drawer open so she can pull out a book to read. I can’t even be mad. She loves to read and I can’t discourage that.
So every night, I check on her again, put away her book and turn off her light. She has to know it’s me doing that but she has never said a word.
#2 A Boundary-Pusher From The Start
Whenever our son isn’t allowed to touch something, we firmly say no. He usually tests us out a bit by moving his hand very slowly towards the forbidden item while looking at our faces. He simply waits for the exact moment we tell him no. It’s so funny.
He’s now figured out a way to circumvent the system. He looks the other way while slowly moving his hand towards the forbidden item.
Surely, if he can’t see us, we can’t see him, right?!
Well, we are onto him!
#3 The Opposite Of A Treasure Hunter
My nine-year-old stepson leaves treasures for the rest of the kids to find. He has no clue that everyone in the house knows it’s him leaving the treasures. He will find a something like a pretty rock shaped like a heart to leave for one of the girls, or find an old coin and leave it for his brother. He swears it’s a “backward pirate” who does it. I love that he has such a giving heart.
#4 Bashfully Affectionate
I have a three-year-old daughter who comes into my room every morning and stays in bed with me for 30 minutes before we get up. She just started doing this new thing where if I fall back asleep, she will kiss my cheek and tell me how much she loves me. It’s a small thing, but I love that she does this even though she thinks I’m asleep.
There are a lot of hard things about being a parent, but her sweet little voice telling me, “I love you so much mommy” makes it all worth it.
#5 Hey, It’s Real To Him And That’s All That Matters
I know his hiding spot for hide and seek. I know exactly where he is, every time. Heck, I can even see him—I mean, behind the stroller isn’t the greatest hiding spot. I hear him too, as he always answers my exaggerated “Are you behind the couch?!??!?” with a “No!”
But I’ll still look for him everywhere, until he creeps out and shouts “BOO,” so I can be ever-so-surprised.
Toddlers can be fun if you play along.
#6 Diapers And Snoring
I know when my 19-month-old nephew hides in the corner, it’s because he’s going #2. Don’t worry, he’s still in diapers.
Also, my 15-month-old daughter always pretends to be asleep. It’s a test to see if I’m leaving right away. If she snores, I always stay put until she stops because then, even if she’s not asleep yet, she’s calm and relaxed.
#7 Justice Served
My seven-year-old has been coming home increasingly upset throughout the school year. I thought it was a problem with other kids, but it turns out, her teacher has been the issue the entire time. She’s been actively terrible to my daughter in front of the other students.
We had the issue rectified. My daughter is in a new class, and she’s all smiles again when she gets home. Make sure you stay on top of your kids’ school situation. It’s the thing you dread having to deal with as a parent, but it’s definitely workable.
#8 Middle School Relationships
My 12-year-old daughter has tons of internet friends, and often role plays with them. I know she has an internet girlfriend. She won’t say anything about it to me for some reason (we’re very close, so I’m really surprised by this).
The internet girlfriend has my daughter’s name on her Instagram page with lots of hearts and a date, so I have to imagine that’s when they started dating. It’s cute, it really is; but she would NEVER admit it to me for whatever reason.
#9 Love Her Through Her Struggles
My daughter is a vegan. Almost entirely. She also has struggled with an eating disorder. We’re in counseling and she’s okay right now, but sometimes she eats non-vegan food items. We don’t talk about it. I don’t call her out on it either. The way I see it, she’s doing her best and none of us is perfect… especially me.
My husband and I are meat eaters. I cringe every single time someone tells us we should “make her eat what we’re eating.” Like, butt out, people. I’ve also struggled with addiction and believe that in this mess, we’ve taught her that she has a choice about what she puts in her body. I think that’s a very valuable lesson for a teen to learn.
#10 Your Secret Is Safe With Me
The list is so long, but right now, it’s the ever-growing pile of things he is hiding under his bed. He doesn’t know that I know about his little stash.
I get a lot of “Don’t tell Dad.” If I kept every secret, I’d be the only eyes and ears of the house.
#11 Cookie Jar Chic
My five-year-old thinks she is being so sneaky when she grabs cookies out of the cookie jar. I always hear the ceramic lid sliding around in there, and she always creeps past the door like a clumsy ninja. I pretend not to notice though, because why the heck else would I have a cookie jar in the first place except to have cookies stolen from it?
#12 Mom To The Rescue
I’m a mom of two boys. They don’t tell me everything, but they tell me most things. If it means something to them, I want to know. This has led to me being able to tell when something is bothering them.
Last week, they were bothered about another kid getting bullied at recess that day. We spoke with a teacher and it stayed anonymous so my son didn’t have to worry about getting targeted. I don’t always bring it up, but when they get home from school and something is just a little off, I can tell immediately. I think it will be important as they get older.
#13 Veggie Liar
My seven-year-old was telling us she was eating her veggies at school but it was super difficult to get her to eat any at home, so I knew she was lying about eating them. I told her I would rather find out the truth from her than from her teacher. This went on for weeks.
Finally, one day, I put lemon juice on all her veggies and asked her how they were when she got home. “Oh they were delicious, so yummy,” she said. When I called her out on her lie and told her what I did, she was floored. “MOM, how could you do that to me? That is so mean!”
I told her that I would always know if she was telling the truth or not… because I’m her mom.
#14 Like Father, Like Son
I recall a time when my wife and I were in counseling together. Our counselor told us how she had caught her son browsing adult video websites. Being open-minded, she waited until an appropriate moment to discuss it with him, warning him that certain sites will ask for payment and that he should be careful. Without missing a beat, he said: “Don’t worry mom, I just visit the same free websites that Dad does.”
#15 Swearing Bandit
I found out my three-year-old daughter really likes the “s” word. On my list of things that I actually care about, this is way at the bottom. I did confront her eventually, though.
“Are you saying grown-up words?” She lied and said she wasn’t. I told her that the “s” word was a grown-up word and that we could only say that word at our own house.
I’m choosing my battles. Mom of the year over here.
#16 Flushing The Evidence
Our five-year-old son does not like eating chicken. Whenever we have chicken for dinner, he spits it in the toilet and flushes it. He doesn’t think I know, but it’s obvious when visits the toilet 12 times during every meal.
No, we’re not just letting it happen. We’ve discussed it with him and he’s aware that it’s not okay. He still tries, but sometimes he holds back because he knows he’ll get into trouble. He’s healthy and eats fine otherwise. He’s just trying to get out of eating something that isn’t his favorite.
#17 Out Of The Closet?
Not exactly sure why, but I had a feeling my son was LGBT years before he came out to me in his teens. I always made sure to keep the offensive slurs out of our home when he was younger and his friends were never allowed to say them either.
I always told my son that there was never anything he could do or tell me that would make me love him less, no matter what. When I reiterated that sentiment to him this past summer he said, “That’s so good to hear because I want to tell you that, for a while now, I’ve been thinking I might be LGBT.” I stood up, hugged him and thanked him for telling me.
All I ever want for him is to be happy and to be loved.
#18 Cereal Genius
When I was little, I would grab the boxes of cereal my dad had just bought, carefully open them upside down, take the bag out and cut a tiny hole in it. I would remove half the contents, put them in a separate container, and hide them. I would then put the half-empty bag back in and tape the bottom closed so, to my brother, it looked like there was a new box of cereal.
This was so my older brother wouldn’t eat all of the cereal before I got any. Apparently, my dad found my stash and knew what I was doing, but he let me keep doing it because of how smart the idea was. This went on for like, a year before my brother realized what I was doing. I like to think he thought that cereal boxes didn’t have that much cereal in them, so he didn’t see anything wrong. Good times.
#19 A Total Dad Move
When she was a toddler, I would let my daughter think she wasn’t being directly supervised sometimes to see what she would do. When she did something she knew was wrong, she would look around first to see if she was going to get caught. I’d let her start doing her thing (so long as it wasn’t inherently dangerous) for a moment or two, just long enough to see the satisfaction on her face, then I would jump out and shout: “Daddy is ALWAYS watching!”
I’ve done this enough that when we host slumber parties, my girl tells all the other kids they have to follow the rules because “Daddy is always watching.” She follows the rules on her own but she is willing to keep her friends in check too.
#20 Note Passing Problems
My son doesn’t think I know he passes notes through Google Docs at school. They’re all on Chrome Books. Plus, thanks to Google, everything is time-stamped. It’s the least sneaky place ever.
I got a couple of good laughs over his notes too, but I just pretend like I’m too dumb to know anything about computers and the interwebs.
#21 Poof! I’ve Disappeared!
My one-year-old will close his eyes if he knows he’s doing something naughty. I’ll catch him doing something, tell him to cut it out, and then he’ll close his eyes and continue doing it, but with a huge smile.
#22 Born To Be Wild
My three-year-old daughter has been slipping in her “heavy metal voice” at school when they’re singing songs together. Her teachers were freaked out when the song “Going on a Bear Hunt” was belted out in a heavy metal growl. My wife was a bit perplexed about where she learned it. I claim to not know, but I’m sure she knows. I find it hilarious and awesome. Her metal nickname is Metal Maggie.
I’m raising two future metalheads. You’re welcome.
#23 Naughty But Talented
I’m aware that my 14-year-old daughter writes somewhat explicitly in her science fiction stories. She doesn’t want to share them with my husband and I. We don’t want her to learn that we know because, despite the explicit content, her writing is really good and embarrassing her will only discourage her creativity.
#24 Smooth Criminal
My four-year-old son always wants to bring something home with him whenever we’re out. He would often try to take things from other people’s houses.
I told him that it’s not okay to take things that are not his. I thought that was that until recently I noticed him start to hide the things he takes. He puts the stuff in his pockets, under his shirt, or wrapped in his blanket. He thinks he is so sneaky, but he is terrible at hiding anything. He thinks I don’t notice the huge bulges in his pockets.
#25 Vanishing Child
Every single morning for the past three years, when my five-year-old wakes up, he hides somewhere in the bedroom and yells “Mom, come here!” I’d go upstairs, walk into the room and say, “Oh no! Where is my son?!”
Most of the time, he is under the covers, so I’ll go lay on the bed and he’ll jump out. Sometimes, he switches it up and hides in other spots. He thinks he has me fooled.
I’m going to be very sad when the day comes that he stops!
#26 The Understanding Mom
My 16-year-old daughter got tipsy at a house party for the first time. I overheard her crying on the phone with someone, saying she was disappointed in herself. After hearing how upset she was and remembering how we judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else ever could, I decided to let it be.
#27 Bad White Liar
My six-year-old son has started lying about little things, like what he ate for breakfast or if he cleaned his room. He has an incredible memory. He remembers stuff with freakish accuracy. But he’s not so great under pressure, so all I have to do is ask for details. If he takes a moment to answer or can’t answer at all, I know he is lying. I find it humorous because usually, kids that lie actually have extra details planned for their fib.
#28 Future Professional Poker Player
My son is five years old. When we play Uno or Crazy 8s, he is terrible at hiding his hand. He either turns his back to me so I can see his cards or just lays them on the floor in front of him. He often wants to play until he wins, so if I don’t feel like playing Uno for a solid hour I’ll use my knowledge of his cards to let him win.
He also often “forgets” to flush the toilet and wash his hands after he uses the bathroom.
“Did you flush the toilet and wash your hands?” I’d ask.
“Yes,” he’d say.
“So there won’t be anything in the toilet if I go look?”
“Oh, oops I forgot! How did you know?”
#29 Just Wait It Out
I have a two-year-old son. When he wants to do something I’ve already said no to (which is usually climbing on things), I know he pretends to forget about it until he thinks enough time has passed. When he thinks I’m distracted, he casually does whatever he wanted to do in the first place.
He’ll get in trouble for not listening, but I love the kid’s grit.
#30 Quick! Fix It By Making It Worse!
When I was around five years old, I used to remove little pieces of the blue wallpaper from a wall in our living room. I noticed that there was a major color difference and wanted to fix that before my parents saw it. I tried to hide it by coloring the empty pieces of the wall with a blue marker. Five-year-old me was actually very proud of this solution at that time, although my parents noticed it the second they walked into the room. We still laugh about it till this day.
#31 Rehearsing New Words
When learning a new word, our 18-month-old runs into the kitchen and practices sounding out the word, thinking that we can’t hear him. Then he comes back into the family room to deliver the final product.
#32 These Are My Rocks
My four-year-old daughter is obsessed with rocks. She has an extensive rock collection that my brother and I helped her build. When her little sister swallowed a rock from it, we made her throw out the entire collection. However, when we weren’t looking, she got back. She keeps it hidden in her closet and I only know about it because I found her playing with it once.
#33 It’s The Thought That Counts
Whenever my five-year-old daughter is making me a surprise, 9 times out of 10 it’s a cut-out heart with I LOVE YOU MAMA written on it. If I guess what it is before she delivers it, she gets mad.
#34 Midnight Snacker
My mother told me that she knew I did illicit substances, but she said that since my grades were fine and I was keeping up on all of my extracurricular activities, she didn’t see a problem.
#35 Transgressions Trash Can
When I was growing up, my dad’s house had a hole in the hallway wall that was well above our heads. We could still reach it enough to throw stuff in it, so that’s where we hid candy wrappers, bad school papers, etc. He never said anything to us about our secret hiding spot, so we always assumed our secrets were dropping under the house and were gone forever.
He eventually went to patch it up and before he did, he said, “I want to show you guys something.” He lifted us up to peer into the hole of our sin while laughing hysterically. It wasn’t even a foot deep. There was a cross beam right under it that we couldn’t see, so everything we were tossing inside was extremely visible from an adult height.
#36 Near Perfect Frame
When I was little, my sister and I used to occasionally got into pretty big fights. Our punches left bruises, and we’d get in trouble if there was evidence. She was really annoying me one day, so I got the brilliant idea to bite myself and blame it on her. One problem with that — there are more than five years between us. There’s quite a bit of a difference between a five-year-old’s teeth marks and a 10-year-old’s. I was astounded when my mother somehow knew that my sister wasn’t to blame. She never revealed her secret.
#37 Faking Sick Fail
I set alarms on the Amazon Echo. When I left the room, my daughter canceled them and I heard her snicker: “No school tomorrow, hehe.” What she didn’t realize is I also have an alarm clock and my phone. She’s five years old.
#38 Effective Indirect Parenting
I know that he’s watching YouTube videos about Minecraft on his phone when he’s supposed to be sleeping. I make a bit of noise in the hallway an hour after bedtime and listen for the sound of him putting his phone away. Then, ten minutes later, there’s undeniable sounds of sleep breathing. I don’t always want to “catch” him. He needs to be able to get away with some things.
#39 God’s On My Side
My mom would ask me every day if I ate my whole lunch and I’d say yes. I felt bad about lying, but I was in too deep at that point. When it was time for our first confession at Catholic school, I told the priest everything. As part of my penance, I had to tell my mom. I told her and said that she couldn’t be mad because I was already cleared in the eyes of God. I could tell she was angry, but now that I’m older I realize she was less concerned with the lunch and more concerned with how I was able to get away with lying.
#41 Did I Say That Out Loud?
My three-year-old daughter doesn’t understand that whispering to herself isn’t the same as thinking in her head. She loves to call people idiots under her breath and giggle, not knowing we can all actually hear her.
#42 Risque Search History
When my wife revealed to our seven-year-old son that we could see everything he has searched on any device, he got terrified and embarrassed. The worst thing we found were YouTube searches for stuff like “people showing their butts” or “smooching.”
#43 She’s All Grown Up… In Her Mind
My seven-year-old thinks that she is too old to be tucked into bed or cuddled with, but she still wants to be. So she tells me that she’s cold and needs me to warm her up. We live in South Louisiana. I’ll take any excuse to cuddle with her.
#44 Post-Bedtime Mockery
I’m a single dad of twin girls. My kids like to make fun of me before bed. I kept hearing a lot of laughing coming out of their room every night. So one time, I cracked the door open to eavesdrop. They were taking turns imitating and mocking me with hypermasculine voices, saying stuff like: “EAT YOUR FOOD OR I’LL THROW AWAY YOUR TOYS.”
My favorite was “GET DRESSED OR IM SENDING YOU TO JAIL!” This has been a pasttime since they were about three years old. They are now six years old each and still do this together on a fairly regular basis before bed.
#45 No You Won’t
When I was a kid, I used to watch surgery videos a lot. I wanted to see how breast implants were done, but I didn’t want to feel like I was watching adult videos, so I watched a video of the operation on a man. A few days later, my dad told me to clean my room or he’d tell my mom what I looked up on the computer. Then I realized I would never be able to explain myself.