Children Reveal The Exact Moment They Realized Their Parents Are Stupid
When we’re little, we tend to think our parents have all the answers. That’s why it can be a tough pill to swallow to find out that they actually don’t. What’s even tougher is figuring out that your mom or dad might have a few screws loose up there—they may be missing some common sense, logic, or even general intelligence.
Not everyone is a genius, and you certainly can’t pick your parents. But it’s one thing to be smarter than your parents, and a whole other thing for them to be stupid. Sometimes, their intellectual faults are endearing. Other times, their ways of thinking are so outrageous you want to scream. If you’ve ever found yourself living with parents who are terminally stupid, know that you’re not alone.
#1 No Amount Of Explaining Could Have Worked
I asked my mom for the Super Mario All-Stars game on the Super Nintendo for my eighth or ninth birthday. She had no idea what I was talking about, so I explained what the game was. For those who may not know, it had all the original NES Mario games, Super Mario World, and one other Mario game that I think was previously unreleased.
The SNES was still new, so games were expensive, but that was literally all I had asked for. A couple of weeks went by and I didn’t really think much about it. On my birthday, I came home from school to a big wrapped box, much bigger than the game. I tore into it and opened up the box to find an old Nintendo. Next to it were cartridges for the first three Mario games. I was so confused. I thought I had been so clear with my request.
Mom: “It’s exactly what you wanted!”
Me: “…it is?”
Mom: “Yes! I took your Super Nintendo to the swap meet and traded it in for the games that you wanted!”
It’s been over 20 years and she hasn’t gotten any better.
#2 Maybe She’s Book Smart
That’s not even the best part. The following Friday, she drove again to the grocery market and parked right next to her “stolen” car, which was a champagne-colored Mitsubishi Diamante. She commented on how similar the car looked to hers but made nothing of it. A few days later, the cops called us to let us know the car was in the grocery store’s parking lot one block away.
#3 And That’s How You Dig Your Own Grave
My dad crashed his car at 8 a.m., on his way to work, because he was surprised at a naked woman streaking across the road. When the police turned up and asked what happened, he explained that he ended up crashing as he wasn’t sure if he really just saw a naked woman, or if he was still tipsy from the night before. And that is how he lost his driver’s license. Oddly enough, there was a naked woman, AND he was still tipsy!
#4 The Internet Runs On Normal Business Hours Only
In high school, our grades were posted online. My dad wanted to check on how poorly I was doing. I told him the internet was closed because it was after 5 p.m. He actually believed me. That gave me enough time to go into my account settings and change my password so he wouldn’t be able to access my grades. He eventually found out, but still… I can’t believe I almost got away with that one!
#5 Flat Earther, Say No More
My dad is an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther. He thinks he’s very smart (a good example of the Dunning-Kruger effect). He’s also very stubborn. He got into an argument with my brother and me about whether it was possible for us to travel faster than the speed of light and other physics stuff. His reasoning was, “They did it in Star Trek, it can happen in real life.” Not joking.
#6 The Miracle Of Mount Rushmore
After leaving Mount Rushmore, my mom was unusually quiet. I asked her what was wrong and she said it wasn’t what she was expecting. She said it was impressive and all but she was a little sad to learn someone had carved the faces into the mountain rather than finding it that way naturally… I couldn’t help but laugh.
#7 Fundamentally Misinformed About How The World Works
#8 Never Let Dad Play With Fire
Years ago, I was building a potato cannon, which my father was uninterested in, thinking it was just stupid… until he saw me working on it in the garage. I had the cannon in the vice and I had just put in an electronic barbecue igniter that I wired to some bolts inside to get a good spark. Suddenly, he got very interested. I just managed to get a perfect gap and he said, “Wait, let go of the button for a second.”
He sprayed Quik Start (basically aerosol ether) and said, “Okay, hit it now!”Nothing happened. Both ends of the cannon were open, so it was just a tube and the Quik Start he sprayed, dissipating in seconds. “Okay, hold the button for a sec.” I was not even thinking about what he was about to do at that moment—he aimed the spray right at the live arc and created a fireball that came straight for his face, burning his one eyebrow and corner of his mustache. I can’t imagine what he thought was going to happen.
#9 One Word: Priorities
They gave my college fund to a preacher so he could send bibles to Nicaragua. A strange man knocked on their door one day and gave this whole spiel about how he was on a mission to spread the faith and help the poor communities heal through prayer. My parents, being rather devout, was so moved by his story they offered him my college fund to help him out. Despite promising to get back to them on his progress, he never did—he just disappeared into thin air… with my college fund.
#10 Some Common Sense Would Do Her Good
My mom said she just couldn’t figure out why my aunt didn’t like her. She had borrowed $100 from my aunt to buy us food and instead bought on adult beverages with all of it. She later stole another $20 from her to buy a DVD, then hit my dad in the face with a frying pan. I was six years old at the time and even I could figure it out. The fact that she was a grown woman and genuinely had no clue just proved she was incurably stupid.
#11 When Being Gullible Becomes Dangerous
My mom once got a scam call on her home phone. The callers were speaking to her in English. It’s important to note we’re not from an English-speaking country, but I lived abroad in an English-speaking country for a while, so I knew the language. They told her that her computer had a virus and that she had to give out her information etc. She believed them, but thankfully she told them that they were probably looking for me, as I worked with computers and spoke English. I’d never been so happy about this coincidence. It could have gone very wrong.
#12 A Question For The Ages
My mom asked whether World War I or II came first. Enough said.
#13 Mexico, The 51st State Of America
She was fully convinced that the country of Mexico was made the 51st state of the USA in the ’60s. No, she was not confusing New Mexico and Mexico. When faced with reality, she said that it was a widely taught fact when she went to school in the ’70s. I told her I found that hard to believe and she got really upset with me.
#14 The Case Of The Missing Son
My parents are well educated, but this was one of the stupidest things I’d seen them do. I was in the basement playing video games and went upstairs at some point to my parents frantically looking for me. They were in that anger-relief kind of state and told me they’d been looking for me for hours. They were even about to call the cops.
Here’s the thing… I had my phone on me the entire time and had received no calls, texts or messages from either of them. Also, none of them ever went down to the basement to check if I was there, otherwise they would’ve seen me. I couldn’t have really left the house either because I wasn’t old enough to drive at the time. I don’t know what was going through their minds but it definitely wasn’t common sense. I would’ve loved to see the police officer’s face if they actually came.
#15 Some People Will Never Understand The Internet
#16 Conspiracy Theories Got The Best Of Her
My mom got mad at me for getting a flu shot. Apparently, she thinks the government uses them to track and poison people. I was 30 years old at the time. I’m all for a good conspiracy theory, but that one was ridiculous. I have a history of getting pretty sick during flu season, so this was something I felt I actually needed. Too bad, mom.
#17 Throwing Money Down The Toilet
#18 Memory Does Not Work That Way
My dad introduced me to someone I’d never met.
Dad: Do you recognize this person?
Dad: But… she held you when you were a baby!
#19 A Serious Brain Fart
I was at dinner with my parents when my mom started feeling really unwell. We took her to the emergency room for chest pains and she was diagnosed with Type-2 diabetes. The physician was asking my mom about her family medical history and if anyone had diabetes in her family. My dad, a little tipsy, asked if his family history would affect her. They’re obviously not blood-related. The physician just looked at him for a few seconds and then said no.