Women Share What They Think Would Suck About Being A Man
Society these days has a lot of qualms with men, and not without just cause either. As a gender, men are not oppressed. They don’t have to deal with feeling unsafe, they get paid more for the same jobs as women do, and they have had most, if not, all the power for most of history. However, just because all of those things are true doesn’t mean that being a man is 100% amazing.
Some things about being a man are not all that great. There’s no doubt that men could go on all day about their specific issues, but it’s interesting to hear it from the women’s side as well. In this article, women from around the world share the things they definitely wouldn’t like about being a man, and they are pretty spot on.
#1 Men Have Feelings Too
#2 Protecting Women Is Part Of Their Job
#3 Society Does Not Accept Men Who Are Stay-At-Home Dads
#4 All The Random Gifts Are Nice
#5 Gross Is Gross To Everyone, Including Men
Honestly, probably people just assuming that you’ll do all of the gross stuff that no one else wants to do. Fixing up the car? Unclogging the toilet? Cleaning out the spider webs in the attic? Scrubbing the mildew out of the bathtub? Guys are just expected to do it all without complaint because that’s the “manly” thing to do. As a woman, I find it pretty unfair.
#6 You’re Only Creepy If You’re Not Hot
#7 Men’s Formal Wear Doesn’t Work In Hot Weather
#8 Their Lack Of Emotional Support Is Very Unfortunate
Emotional unavailability of other men. As a woman, I definitely face a lot of hardships that men don’t have to deal with. But when I’m at my point of breaking, sobbing and inconsolable, I know I can message one of my friends (usually one of the girls) and cry about it. They, in turn, will listen to me and really connect with me. They will tell me how horrible the person who did that is, how difficult it must be to deal with, and how strong I am for persevering in the face of adversity.
On the other hand, I’ve spent my life trying to be a non-judgmental source of venting for my male friends and I’ve found that they always end up either thinking I’m into them romantically or expressing how grateful they are for something they get so little of. Guys are told to just suck it up and push their emotions down, and I think it is harmful to all of us.
#9 Watch Out For The Crazies
#10 Men’s Bathrooms Sound Like A Nightmare
Being in a crowded urinal. Everyone has their privates out, standing next to each other. Like wow, just make stalls. Why have them just out in the open? Maybe men are there staring at each other and there’s no privacy. It’s worse if it is a CROWDED bathroom. You’re probably just trying to look straight forward and ignore all the guys near you. Difficult.
#11 Are You Man Enough To Be My Man?
#12 Many Women Consider All Men A Threat
Having to watch what you say or how you present yourself in fear of being called out for some sort of harassment. For example, my husband told me that when he was at the mall by himself the other day buying me an anniversary present, he was walking behind two teenage girls. They ended up going to the same store he did (Bath and Body Works, out of all places).
He said they kept glancing back nervously at him. My husband is the sweetest, funniest man I know. He’s also a bigger guy, with a big ol’ beard. And obviously, he couldn’t say, “Oh hey, don’t worry! I won’t hurt you.” They ended up bolting out of the store and he lingered in there, just so they wouldn’t be scared or anything. I couldn’t imagine having to be so conscious of how I’m perceived.
#13 Defending Your Family Honor All The Time Is A Drag
Depends on the situation of course, but I have seen some really awful expectations of what a “real man” should and should not do. Granted, it’s gotten better, but in some circles, it’s still really bad. I remember being 20 years old and a bunch of us were trying to convince our guy friend not to go out and get into a fight with some guy that could clearly kick his butt.
My friend broke down and said he had to, as the guy had messed with his older brother and if he didn’t step up, he wouldn’t be much of a man. This guy wasn’t breaking into his house or anything, it was just over some disrespect between the guy and our friend’s brother. That is messed up. He shouldn’t have to feel obligated to do that.
#14 Being Short Is Not A Great Situation For Men
#15 The Judge Is On The Mother’s Side
#16 There Is No Lacking In Expectations
The overwhelming amount of assumed relationship expectations based on how our society has dictated it should be, among other things. For example, the assumption that men have to make the first move. It would be nerve-wracking. I don’t care how confident you are; that whole bit at first of trying to discern if the other party likes you, then trying to figure out how to ask without being a total creeper is a stressful endeavor.
There’s the assumption that the man should pay for all expenses during a date. Men also have minimum wage jobs and feel lucky to eat out every once in a while. Sometimes women make plans to go eat somewhere and when the server comes and asks “Together or separate,” they look at the man and say “I’ll meet you at the car.”
Men have been conditioned to pay during a date even though they know that a relationship is supposed to be 50/50. There’s also an expectation that the man is supposed to be good in bed. If the man isn’t well endowed or isn’t great at bedroom intimacy, women may very well dump him and move on, regardless of if the man is a genuinely good guy or has a good personality.
The assumption that men can’t be friends with women, or do something nice for them, without there being some sort of romantic expectations. The fact that if a woman says no to a man’s advances, a good, respectful man will back off and leave the woman alone, but she will be viewed as strong and courageous. Now if a man says no, granted the good, respectful females will leave him alone, but he will be viewed as if there is something wrong with him. Weak. Crazy to even consider turning her down.
#17 Physical Contact Is Off-Limits For Men With Other Men
#18 The Pressure Of Being The Breadwinner Is Real
#19 That Scientifically Proven Lower Life Expectancy Must Be Rough
Dying seven years sooner. It’s a scientific fact at this point—men don’t live as long as women. It has something to do with the fact that men have higher levels of testosterone in their bodies than women. Testosterone has been linked to some health issues, as well as a tendency to seek risk and be violent. Estrogen, on the other hand, offers protection against some of those health issues.
#20 Being Chubby Isn’t As Welcome Being A Man
#21 Social Support Is Lacking
Honestly? Not having as big of a support system. I see a lot of dudes struggle with homelessness and child support payments and there’s a huge lack of government and social support while women can pretty much get help instantly from numerous different outlets. Also, I think in general our society has very little sympathy for men who are struggling compared to women.
#22 Alimony Is A Bummer
Having to support a family and then getting screwed over in a divorce. Fathers get the worst visitation and custody situations possible. I’ve watched too many of my close male friends just get shafted in custody agreements and then have to pay ridiculous amounts of alimony on top of the child support they are required to pay.
#23 Facial Hair Can Mean Shaving Every Day
Shaving every morning! I can’t imagine doing that. Honestly, I’d prefer having my period every month! If I mess up the shave, my face will be busted and it seems painful and itchy when it grows back too. There are also some men with patchy facial hair, so if they don’t shave, they have to go through their days being self-conscious about looking unkempt.
#24 Working Class Men Get The Short End Of The Stick
Young men and boys are being deprived of educational opportunities due to empowerment rhetoric omitting disenfranchised males from impoverished communities and the advocacy for female empowerment has taken precedence. It’s particularly prevalent among the working class demographic whose aversion to higher education and contempt for being patronizing by teachers has persevered.
I was strongly encouraged to enter tertiary education but my male working-class peers were consigned to menial jobs; some teachers felt this was justified. The acrimony between institutions and the working class male demographic needs to be alleviated, universities have an obligation to dispel the preconceptions that they only accept upper-class people and women. The education disparities should be a cause for concern in an age where equality is paramount.
#25 It’s Not Always About Getting A Girlfriend
The fact that anytime you talk to a girl by yourself, everybody thinks you’re trying to flirt with her. News flash—not every male-to-female interaction is rooted in intimacy or romance. Guys and girls can just be friends. That’s why sayings like “He’s like a brother to me,” or “She’s like a sister to me” exist.
#26 Make-Up Isn’t An Option For Men
#27 Toxic Masculinity Is Bad For Men Too
I always think about the fact that as a lady, I’ve always been allowed, for the most part, to like whatever I wanted. Britney Spears, Barbies, and dresses were all cool, but it was also always totally fine for me to dress like a tomboy and play with GI Joes, even if they were “meant for boys.” If young boys want to be into Barbies and dresses, then they are shamed. If you listen to “girly” music or read “girly” books, then you are shamed. It has always seemed unfair, and it doesn’t help that “toxic masculinity” is so prevalent in American society. The idea of having to always keep your masculinity in check seems tiring and sad.
#28 Guys Actually Are Interested In More Than One Thing
The idea that you must want bedroom intimacy all the time must be so demeaning. I remember a friend of mine was messaging a guy she had a thing with, asking him to come around that night. He replied to her, saying, “Nah, I’m tired… I got stuff to do tomorrow, maybe another time.” She started complaining to us about it, calling him a jerk and all these other bad names. She kept pushing him to come over and she was getting annoyed that he didn’t want to.
When I was like, “Hey, I don’t know if that’s okay for you to do, like if the roles were reversed this would be really creepy,” she got really quiet and wouldn’t talk to me. I just think it must suck to always have people assuming you’d be down for anything and not understanding when to stop. Guys have other interests too.
#29 Some Men Aren’t Physically Strong, And That’s Okay
Being expected to be more effective at physical labor or do more dangerous work.
#30 In A World With No Compliments…
#31 Salary Is Everything
#32 Empathy Matters
#33 But Not All Men…
The fact that half the population seems to think all men are predators or misogynists. They mock anyone who says that not all men are like that. They think it’s naturally built into them and that men that aren’t like that don’t exist, but they also expect men to be able to control it and not be like that. So which is it?
#34 Male Instincts Are Brutal
I took testosterone for two weeks and was BLOWN AWAY by what I felt, thought and saw while under its influence. I cannot imagine how hard it is to live in the world and maintain oneself with all that DRIVE underneath everything all the time. It’s like, your mind is constantly forced to look forward, and your body just wants to beat things up all the time.
#35 Chivalry Doesn’t Sound Fun
#36 Men In Skirts Is Not Acceptable In Society
#37 Men Need Their Own Revolution
The expectation to provide or always be in control. Women have had their reckoning with expectations, and we’re told that we can be whatever we want to be. In many developed countries, the average woman can be a homemaker or in a “pink” collar job, or they can work in typically male-dominated fields. We have widened the net for our possibilities and our options.
While pressure is still on femininity, there are avenues and support systems to pursue other options. We used to be defined as only what we could be in traditionally feminine roles, whereas now we can have identities of our own. Men haven’t had that revolution. The expectation to provide, to prove their own capabilities, and therefore their masculinity, is enormous.
Many men define themselves solely on their occupation, or their salary, or even the caliber of partner they can “pull.” Their identities are wrapped up in other things. I think it’s these pressures, these enormous expectations (imposed by both other men and women), that contribute to toxic masculine behaviors (violence, substance abuse, abuse of power).
#38 Some Dads Will Never Know Their Kids
The thought that I could have a kid and never know about it… Pregnancies, especially unplanned, really suck for women. But, ya know, at least I’d know I was pregnant and it’s guaranteed to be mine.
#39 Female Stalkers Are Just As Unwelcome
My partner was stalked and threatened by a woman, something that was frightening and traumatizing for him, and a bunch of his guy friends basically said, “Women are throwing themselves at you, what are you complaining about? You should be glad! Are you really scared of a woman?” I’m glad that if someone stalked and threatened me, people (especially other women) would at least validate my distress.
#40 Getting In Trouble From Defending Themselves Against Abusive Females
When I was in high school, my dad got remarried to a woman with a ton of emotional baggage. She was would start fights with anyone who would take the bait. They got in an argument one night, and she started to shove him. He put his hands in his jacket pocket so that there could be no confusion of him hitting her. It must have been difficult for him not to defend himself out of fear that he’d be blamed for the whole situation.
When he refused to engage, she started threatening his kids. He called the cops. They came, listened to the story, and my dad WENT TO JAIL. She was alone in the house with all of my siblings (I was out of town that night). My dad is a big teddy bear—I’ve never seen him in trouble with the law until that night.
I got him out of jail the next day and then worked with him to send my younger siblings to live with my mom in Utah. He had a criminal record for having his and his children’s lives threatened. That was really messed up.
#41 Cool It With The Niceness
Not being able to be nice to kids is the hardest. I’m a big, bearded white guy, so I learned this lesson early. I was a waiter at 18-years-old and one day I had a table with maybe five to seven people, including a precocious six-year-old girl. When I was taking drink orders, she ordered for herself a sweetheart-tart, which was a non-alcoholic frozen drink for kids.
When I dropped off the drinks, I gave her slushy thing first and said, “Here you go sweetheart” flippantly, thinking I was being nice to the kid and mildly clever referencing the drink name. The mother turned into momma bear, grabbed my arm and basically growled at me, saying, “SHE’S NOT YOUR SWEETHEART!”
Of course, now things were supremely weird because, I mean obviously, it goes without saying that I was just being nice. It’s my job to be pleasant to people. I’m at work, not cruising a playground in a trench coat. The whole table wouldn’t make eye contact with me the rest of the meal and the momma bear made sure to leave no tip. So lesson learned: I’m not nice to kids unless they are relatives. It is really unfortunate because I’m great with kids.
#42 Guys Are On Their Own Out In The World
Not having the same level of connection with near strangers of the same gender as women do. It’s hard to explain, but I find myself watching out for other women a lot and they do the same for me. I’ve had other women walk with me somewhere if they noticed a person following me. I’ve been comforted in a parking lot while sobbing my eyes out by a woman who I didn’t know. I might be wrong but I’ve never heard a man share a story like this. It seems really freaking lonely.
#43 Primping Is Just For Girls
#44 Not A Man’s Decision
#45 Women And Children First
Being indirectly told that my life is dispensable and less important than a woman’s or a child’s. We saw it with events like the Titanic with “women and children first.” Also in war. We also see it all the time in movies where men happily and gladly end their lives for our sake and get labeled a “hero” for it. I think that would mess me up a lot.