Women Share What They Find Most Confusing About Men

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Men and women are not wired the same, and that is an evolutionary fact. This different “wiring” can have a real impact on the way each gender thinks and behaves. Women from across the world took to the internet to share the things they find absolutely baffling about men, and it probably won’t be hard for people to relate to the points they make.

To give you a taste of what you’ll come across in this article, some of the things that the women agreed upon were that men are: 1) selective listeners, 2) unattentive to details, and 3) terrible texters. Perhaps some male readers out there might be able to shed some light onto some of these mysteries and clear up some of the confusion.

#1 He’s Been Feeling E-Motions

Why do men dismiss women as being overly emotional, or use PMS as some kind of insult, when they scream and shout when their beloved football team loses? Grown men cry at the World Cup when their team gets knocked out. I just don’t get how some of them can’t accept that being upset about something, or crying, is a valid emotion that everyone feels and is perfectly normal. Men who do cry can be seen as “too girly” or “not a proper man” when actually they are giving normal responses to things that are sad.

Lunar_Raccoon

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#2 Details Shmetails

Why do men rarely ask for further details? My husband and his friend made plans to have a game night, starting at 5 p.m. That was all the information they provided. Should we bring any games? Are we eating there? Are we meant to bring food? How many people are we feeding? Who is going to be there? Nothing. He knew nothing.

CeleryRoot1983

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#3 Where Do They Come Up With This Stuff?

I haven’t noticed this with girls, but I have noticed that my husband will just stare out into space with severe concentration. I’ll be like, “What’s wrong, babe?” and he will say something like, “If all of our pets attacked me at once, do you think I could fight them off?” I’ve seen other guys do this too, it’s just so fascinating.

peachy-bunnyy

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#4 Thanks For Tuning Me Out

Me: “Hey, I don’t want to nag but can you take out of the trash?”
Him: “Yep!” Then I see the trash still sitting there the next day.
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#5 Friendships Are Different With Men

Most men seem to know very little about their friends. My husband was friends with a guy for years and didn’t know how old he was.

#6 Ego Over Convenience

I hate how men absolutely refuse to ask for help. Back when we had no smartphones, we were trying to find my friend’s street and this guy I was with preferred to walk aimlessly for 30 minutes before I had enough and dared to ask someone for directions.

#7 Who Needs A Plot Anyway?

He scrolls through the channels on TV, sees a movie, doesn’t know when it started, has zero context about the plot, but watches the rest of it anyway.

drflanigan

#8 All It Takes Is A Little Thing Called Paying Attention

Their sheer lack of attention to detail sometimes blows my mind. Case in point, the other day I gave my husband instructions to go to Office Depot, where I had called ahead to have them hold an external hard drive that was on clearance. I said to him, “It’s a 1 terabyte external hard drive called My Passport. I told them you were coming and I gave them your name already. They’ll have it behind the counter.”

When he got home, he was like, “Well, that was a mess.” I’m responded, “You’ve got to be kidding me? Why?” He explained, “Well, I got there and I couldn’t remember what I was picking up. I told them you called and that it was something you plug into your computer. They had no idea what I was talking about.” A woman apparently held up some box from behind the counter and asked him if that was what he was looking for and he was like, “I don’t know.” She rang it up and saw that it was on clearance, so they figured out that was the hard drive he was trying to pick up. Seriously, it couldn’t have been any easier.

goroncityblues

#9 What’s Really Going On In The Bathroom?

Why does it take men so long to go #2? Do they not have enough fiber in their diets? Maybe you’re just sitting there playing on your phone? Most men I’ve met spend at least half an hour each time they go #2. If a woman spent half an hour on the toilet, you’d be worried that she passed out in there or something.

liberty285code6

| Humaverse

#10 Fights That Mean Nothing

Guys can go from fighting and beating each other up to suddenly being friends again. Are they really friends, though? Are they just taking their frustrations out on each other?

#11 Get The Priorities Straight Please

Why is it that if I send you a message that has three plus parts, you only respond to the least important part? If I’m like, “Hey, I saw our mutual friend while running errands. Let me know what you want for dinner, I’m about to go pick it up. And did you take out the trash?” I get a response like, “Oh yeah, Dave? Haven’t seen him in a while.”

SoleiVale

#12 No One Thinks It’s For You, Man

Why are guys so apprehensive about getting feminine products for their daughter, wife, or girlfriend?
| Humaverse

#13 Flowers Are For Everyone

Why don’t guys like flowers? They’re nice, pretty to look at and make the room smell nice. I want to buy flowers for all my loved ones but men don’t seem to care at all about flowers.

#14 Get Your Hygiene In Order

I can’t figure why so many guys are totally okay living with bad personal hygiene. I know there are dirty, smelly women too. but there are so, so many guys with greasy, dandruffy hair, horrible untreated acne, oily skin, super long nails, horrifying breath, and overpowering body odor. And they wonder why girls don’t flock to them…

sapunec7854

#15 Insatiable Obsessions With Cars

Why are so many of you so into cars? I just don’t get it. You don’t need to go 0 to 100 in three seconds when you live in the suburbs. Actually, no one who isn’t a racecar driver needs to go that fast. Also, it’s kind of odd how you can be in the middle of a conversation and get distracted, like, “Yeah, work was okay and I had this really big—WOW LOOK, A LAMBORGHINI!—presentation but I think it went okay.”

#16 No Wonder Rabbits Have So Much Energy

I will never understand my husband’s lack of deductive reasoning with his own body. For example, he always complains he’s tired in the middle of the day. He never eats breakfast, so I’ll make him a smoothie as I’m making mine in the morning. He drinks it without complaint. Then at night, I’ll ask him, “How did you feel today? Were you tired?” He’ll reply, “No, I had so much energy! It was awesome! “

The next morning, I went up to him and said, “Here’s your smoothie and a small lunch so you’re not tired!”

He then said, “I don’t eat rabbit food.”

justgoup420

#17 Healing Must Be So Lonely For Men

For the life of me, I don’t understand how guys process raw, post-breakup emotion without the emotional support offered by friends or family. How do you heal properly?

#18 Insensitive By Accident

I’ve heard multiple times that men are more direct when it comes to communicating. So, a conversation can go like this between two men:

Guy A: Today was horrible. I got bombed with work by the boss last minute, five minutes before I was about to leave.

Guy B: Well, you don’t really have a choice do you? He’s your boss…

Guy A: Yeah… Let’s go out for some pizza, I could really use some relaxation time.

Guy B: Okay.

Now, here’s the same conversation between a girl and a guy:

Girl: Today was horrible. I got bombed with work by the boss last minute, five minutes before I was about to leave.

Guy: Well, you don’t really have a choice do you. He’s your boss…

*Girl gets angry because, in her eyes, the guy is being insensitive to her feelings.*

My question is, do guys ever just think before they speak sometimes? I know they’re more direct and all, but do they ever consider that their words can sound insensitive to girls, especially to girls who don’t know that guys are more direct? This problem has led to many heated arguments between me and my dad because I’d think he was being insensitive until my mom explained to me what was really going on.

denatured_enzyme_

#19 Not Everyone Has The Gift Of Good Gift Giving

I don’t know if this has just been my experience or what, but it sure seems like being good at giving gifts is a gendered trait. I have never dated a man who was good at giving gifts. It’s frustrating because often they will go out and grab something last minute as a peace offering during a holiday rather than put legitimate time and effort into finding something their partner will appreciate. You KNOW Christmas is on the same day every year, so why not start thinking about what you are going to give your partner, maybe before Boxing Day?

AlaskanOverlord

#20 We Have Cabinets? Who Knew.

When we buy groceries, he’ll put away all the cold items, then take everything else out of the bags and leave them on the counter until I finally break and put them away myself.

#21 Emotional Intelligence Is Important

There is an extreme lack of emotional intelligence in some men. I don’t know how they get through life completely oblivious to the people around them. Like, a girl could be crying next to a guy and he’ll say, “Oh, I didn’t know she was upset.” I’ve had to take men aside and tell them, “There is something wrong with your friend.” They can’t take hints from body language, vocal cues, facial expressions, or even major context clues. You’ve got to hit them over the head to get their attention for some things.
You have to suggest to them that maybe there’s something wrong with their coworker friend who’s been out of work two weeks straight. Things that should be obvious. This definitely doesn’t apply to all men, but the men it does apply to don’t seem to find a problem with it. Many people say women needed to be more direct. They don’t think of understanding people as a skill they could just learn. They honestly seem to believe that people who can communicate in many different ways are the ones with poor communication skills. I really can’t understand how any men have meaningful relationships like this. To me, it’s indicative of some sort of learning disorder or even borderline sociopathy.

#22 Not All Talking Is Flirting

Whenever I’m being friendly towards a guy, he ends up thinking I’m flirting. It’s just a friendly conversation, but it usually gets misinterpreted as flirting. Why?

Irilis 

#23 Travel Plans: The Ultimate Secret

Men don’t share travel plans with each other. My good guy friend of mine (let’s call him Pete) mentioned to me that he met this guy and they became really close friends. Pete would be at his house for hours each day watching football or playing video games. At some point, he told me he hadn’t heard from his friend in a couple of days and he became worried.

After a week of not hearing from him, not replying to his texts, calls, etc., Pete thought his friend just didn’t want to hang out anymore. He felt pretty upset. After about 10 days, Pete called me and told me it was just a misunderstanding. His friend had gone on a 10-day cruise and he didn’t have WiFi the entire trip.

In the four to five months that they were friends before this cruise, that conversation never came up once. Not even a simple,“Oh, I’m going on a cruise next week,” or anything. This situation is just so funny to me. Not only would my friends and I have talked about it, but they would have helped me pick outfits, pack my suitcase, etc. The difference between men and women.

kaylaswan

#24 What’s So Bad About Washing Your Hands?

Why don’t a majority of men not wash their hands after going #1? Like, I know the entire ordeal has to take longer than 3.8 seconds, Kevin.

#25 Bad People Need Friends Too

This is probably my own life experience but the guys I’ve known have been more okay with their friends being bad people. They’ll always shrug it off and say, “That’s just them,” and never actually stand up to them or cut them out. My female friends are much more likely to “curate” who is in their lives. Why is this?

PeppermintLane

#26 Skincare Is For All Genders

When their skin is crusty and breaking out but they still refuse to use skin care products like facial masks to fix it because they find them too feminine? Buddy, everyone has skin, it’s no big deal using those products.

#27 “You’re Beautiful Without Makeup”

Why do men I get into a relationship with constantly tell me to “relax ” and don’t worry about anything when it comes to my body or my looks? I’m kind of high maintenance and look like the type of woman that men stereotypically want. But when I’m in a relationship with them, they don’t want me to keep up, or keep trying so hard. How many women have heard, “You don’t need makeup on, you’re beautiful without it,” and then discover the women they fantasize about actually look like Barbie dolls? I wear extensions, lashes and I spray tan. And I feel great about myself. But the men I’m with always seem to undercut my efforts and tell me to stop. Even when I know they got with me because they thought I was beautiful that way. I don’t think it’s insecurities. Do men have a different preference for women they are in a relationship with than the women they drool over? Help me out.

#28 We Don’t All Want Bad Boys

I just cannot fathom why guys think girls want “a bad boy.” None of the girls I have ever met actually want that. It’s only portrayed online or in the media. It’s true that a lot of guys and girls both want a cool partner. But hooking up with a jerk is usually only something short term. Guys, I have news for you. If a girl wants to be in a long-term relationship with a jerk, then there’s something wrong with her.

Justhavingag00dtyme

#29 And He Says, “No Comment”

I don’t understand why a high number of men can’t tell me if another guy is attractive or good looking. They respond with, I don’t know, I’m not gay, as if you have to be homosexual to tell if someone looks good. I figured that this is only a thing for men with very fragile masculinity; mature men don’t have a problem with it. However, I have never met a woman who responded in such an inane way. Maybe someone can explain why it’s so hard for certain men?

Cladalina

#30 Not Buying The “Ball And Chain” Bit

Why do guys go through all the trouble and effort to make a major decision to marry a girl? They go out, spend a fortune on an engagement ring, and thoughtfully plan a proposal. Then, around his buddies, he acts all bummed out and says his life is over. YOU BOUGHT THE RING, MAN!

#31 Men Think They are Allergic To Serious Conversations

Men never initiate any serious conversations about important emotions or just things going on in their relationships. My friend, especially when either of us is clearly upset, will just let it sit and fester until it gets unbearably worse. I have to do all the “we need to talk” stuff to prevent it from getting that bad. Why do I have to do all the work?? How could you just think it’s going to magically get better on its own?? I just stopped doing it because it was just so much work.

[deleted]

#32 His Friends Know A Completely Different Version Of Him

Men completely change around their friends. They talk a big game about women and how we all turn into crazy girls once we get around our pals, but men do like, a complete 180. They turn from wonderful men to completely horrible people in two seconds flat.

usernameMT88

#33 It’s My Face And I’ll Smile When I Want To

Why do men who are complete strangers tell me to smile? This is my face! It makes me want to jump on them and gouge their eyeballs out while screaming, “Why don’t you smile?”

CindeeSlickbooty

#34 Swim Trunks Are Underwear

Some men wear their underwear under their swim trunks. Why?

Hei_Lap

#35 Help A Sister Out

This year I was followed around the grocery store by a man and when I told him to stop, he yelled at me in front of at least five other men (no women were around), none of whom did anything. On several other occasions, men have watched me being harassed by another man and no one ever takes action. They just watch it happen then stare at me after. What’s that all about?

#36 Three Years Later And He Still Doesn’t Know Where The Forks Are

Men are so terrible at finding things. I’ve lived with my fiancé in the same apartment for three years, and he still doesn’t know where things are.

thatlosergirl

#37 If You Don’t Love Her, Leave Her

Why is it that guys can go through months of being in a serious relationship before he realizes he doesn’t want to be serious with that person? It takes women much less time to determine that and we don’t generally take serious steps until we know. It has happened to me twice and to many many other friends of mine.

medwd3

#38 It’s All In The Details

Their complete lack of noticing details in their partner’s physical appearances. If I change my hair or makeup, my significant other cannot tell a difference and to me, it’s a drastic change!

BinkyBil

#39 Common Courtesy Isn’t Just A Gentleman’s Game

Why do a lot of men feel so uncomfortable when a female holds the door open for them? It’s just common courtesy. I’ve had multiple times where they won’t go through until I do.

#40 As He Lay Dying

A lot of men I know don’t go to the doctor or hospital when they need to because of some toxic masculinity nonsense that tells them that men just need to “tough it out.” Apparently, admitting pain is the same as admitting weakness. An ex-boyfriend of mine was in the hospital for a spine issue and needed surgery.
He was in so much pain, but he refused to admit that to the nurse. Eventually, I told the nurse outside the room that he was just hiding his pain from her, and she gave a big sigh. “This happens all the time,” she responded. She later walked back into his room and told him:
“You know, our hospital does not give out medals to patients who refuse pain meds. And no one gets a T-shirt for refusing an epidural. So what’s it gonna be?” He gave up his tough guy act and took the pain medicine, and was finally comfortable.

#41 Competition Is In Their DNA

Men hurt themselves in idiotic ways for fun and bragging rights. For example, I saw two grown men punch their hands in a fire ant bed and leave them there, glaring intensely and cussing at each other, just to see who could stand it longer. No money was wagered. They were just doing it to prove they could be better than each other. When they couldn’t agree on a winner, they did the same thing with their feet.

I have never seen a woman do anything like that. Not to say they never do, but the vast majority of dumb competition injuries I’ve seen have been with men.

a_kindness_of_ravens

#42 On The Topic Of Body Hair

I wonder why some of the guys at my school think that leg hair is gross, while having leg hair of their own.

Emma_akward

#43 Purses Are Convenient

I don’t understand why men don’t carry purses. It’s convenient.

fartymosscoane

#44 Housework Is Not Just A Woman’s Job

To put it succinctly—what’s the deal with men not doing housework? I mean, of course, it sucks, but everyone thinks so. Men living alone can usually manage a house pretty well, so the knowledge is there. But somehow, a house with a woman in it works differently. It seems so many men have trouble thinking that maybe the sheets need to be washed once in a while or the kitchen floor needs to be mopped. Even having a cleaner doesn’t really solve the whole problem because it seems to be only women who know how to find, hire, schedule, and tell them what to do. I have seen so many women who are the messy ones in the relationship do the majority of the housework once they are partnered, so it’s not just that women tend to be neater or more concerned with their house.

zazzlekdazzle

| Humaverse

#45 Who’s Playing The Games, Really?

It’s common for men to claim women play games when it comes to dating or hookups, but in my experience, as a bi-woman, I’ve found that men are just as guilty of this, if not more. I am a pretty straightforward person and have never understood tricks like playing hard to get. I’m especially clear when I just want casual relations, and yet most men still seem skittish of this, sometimes at their own expense.
It appears that no matter how transparent I am, many assume I have the ulterior agenda of trapping them into an exclusive relationship, which I find both egotistic and hilarious. I’ve talked about this, at length, with some female friends and we’ve concluded that the only reason we play games is that we feel pressure to be our male partners. If we don’t, we are judged for our directness no matter what it is we are expressing, be it the possibility of romantic interest or a desire to keep things casual.
It’s all rather confusing when you’ve heard countless men in your life complain that they wish women were clear about what they want as if they are the sole actors responsible for over-complicating the dating scene. I know there are women who do play games because they feel like it, but many of us seem to feel trapped into doing so. Men often fail to recognize that (due to social norms/patriarchy etc.). They hold the majority of the power when it comes to deciding the boundaries of their interactions with women, and this can obligate women to act in a way that caters to this power imbalance.
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