The Unwritten Laws Of ‘Bro Code’. Men Reveal Secrets Only Other Men Will Understand

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Throughout history, several codes of behavior have been in place to keep things in check. From dinner etiquette to dating practices to fraternal orders— we’re accustomed to them. One of the most prolific modern forms of etiquette to exist, however, is the ‘Bro Code’.

This was first introduced by comedian Jerry Seinfeld back in 1991 when he stated, “If one man should suddenly have an opportunity to pursue a woman, it’s like these two guys never met each other ever in life. This is the male code.” The Bro Code gained steam with the release of the popular CBS sitcom, How I Met Your Mother. To many out there, Barney Stinson is king of the Bro Code.

Nowadays, this is almost the norm between male friends all around the world. We took to our community to find out some secrets that only men know about well… being men.

#25 A Change Will Do You Good

When we don’t notice a subtle change in your appearance, it’s not because we’re not paying attention to you. Unless the change is big, we’ll literally just assume that we were imagining whatever was before. This applies to men and women.

“Dude, you didn’t even notice that I got my ears pierced?”

“Oh, you didn’t always have those pierced? My bad….”

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 #24 Dodging More Responsibilities

Men aren’t really bad at the chores they seem bad at, usually we just do a bad job the first few times so you won’t ask us again.

I hate cooking with my girlfriend and her mom because they’re both amazing in the kitchen and micromanage everything. I’m not as speedy as them so they always give me a hard time and eventually I’m demoted to dish duty. About a year ago I decided to cook like I have two left feet and was using them to dice vegetables. They don’t ask me to help cook anymore.

But, I still can’t get out of dish duty.

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#23 The Girl Is Mine

The amount of unspoken competition between guys when an attractive female enters the room. It might not be 100% obvious off the bat but every guy in the room is competing against each other to impress her. Nobody says anything and there’s no head nod or handshake or anything that we give each other. It’s just an automatic competition that gets started among the other men as soon as she walks in the door. Ladies with boyfriends: Try this next time you’re in a group. Bring one of your friends who’s at least decently attractive and try to organize a group event.
Go to a bar or something as a group. All the other dudes will know you’re taken but will know your friend is single. Watch how the other men in the group talk to her and behave when she’s there, then organize the same group outing again but without your single friend. I guarantee the behavioral difference will be very noticeable. Some men don’t even realize when they’re acting differently or trying to “compete”. It’s almost like an involuntary response that just happens whether you want it to or not.
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#22 Sink Or Swim

Men pee in sinks.

Not “ALL men pee in ALL sinks”— but anything that resembles a urinal becomes a urinal thanks to desperation and/or laziness.

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#21 No Regrets Here

Ok ladies, do you remember the time you asked your fella to go do something with you that he didn’t want to do? He said yes anyway, right? And then he accidentally did something embarrassing and you decided to stop asking him to do that with you, right? Yeah, that wasn’t an accident. If you take me shopping for fabric I’m going to ask the person behind the counter how much leopard print fabric she thinks I’d need to make some new thong underwear for myself.

#20 You’ll Never Walk Alone

We all have feelings. No matter how stone cold someone looks, they have built up emotion that just needs to be let out through conversation with someone who cares to listen.

I went through a really bad time a couple years ago and was holding it in. No one knew that anything was wrong with me until a stranger at a bar put his hand on my shoulder and asked, “Is everything OK, bud?” and I immediately burst into tears. We went outside and talked for a while. He may have saved my life by just asking if I was okay. So, now I go out of my way to do the same for other men that have that familiar look in their eyes.

#19 Sit Yourself Down

Useless fact, but there are a lot of us out there who pee while sitting down, and prefer to for two key reasons:
Our streams are completely unpredictable, and some of us have noticed and actually care that when you pee into a toilet it is bound to splash.

If you’re a guy and you’ve ever woken up at 3 am to take a leak with nothing but your boxers on I know you’ve felt that spray. That is nasty.

So stop emasculating us for sitting down when we pee, it’s easier and more sanitary.

CrimsonViel

#18 Gift To Be Simple

Anytime you ask us what we want as a present for any occasion, the answer will always be, “I don’t know”. For whatever reason, that question will always catch a man off guard. Just skip the middleman (heh) and buy us what you think we’d like. Odds are it’ll be something better than what we’d think of in a panic

Her: “What do you want for a present?”

Me: “I don’t know…”A balloon animal?……fuck wasted one of my wishes”

MrMeeseeklookatme

#17 Making Memories Of Us

I can’t speak for anyone else because I’m very sentimental and emotive guy but we typically do enjoy those romantic things, whether it be romcoms, being complimented, and being the little spoon from time to time. A lot of guys are too proud to admit it or think that it goes against their portrayal of their masculinity but secretly, we love it.

#16 A Speedy Exit

That a man can be woken up showered shaved clean clothes out the door in 15 mins with a coffee in hand and feel good. Tell your spouse to be ready in 15 mins and an hour later you may be out the door.

#15 Lemme Mansplain Something To You

When I mansplain it’s not a power trip. I’m just so goddamned excited at the opportunity to share some of the useless knowledge that I have bouncing around my head it just comes out like a deluge of verbal vomit. I also mansplain to men, they return the favor.

Yes, I know how it sounds to you, no I can’t help myself sometimes.

#14 Let My Hair Down

Yes, we notice your hairstyle after a while. No, we don’t say anything about it because we aren’t the ones that wear it. If I don’t like how your hair looks, well, why say anything? I know you’re gonna get it redone in three to six months again anyway.

#13 Silence While Doing The Business

We don’t talk to other men, make eye contact, or acknowledge other men in the restroom. Generally, you keep your eyes to yourself, do your business and get out. It’s generally frowned upon to hold a conversation with another man in the restroom. If there is conversation it’s usually awkward conversation and the real conversation can occur again once both parties are outside.

#12 A Tough Battle With Oneself

Every choice I’ve ever made, whether it be succeeding in school, or getting good at a video game, or learning to draw, has been in the pursuit of having worth because as a man, I was not born with any.

I believe this is the reason suicide is more prevalent among men. Society doesn’t respect men if they don’t create value. Men have to work to be valued, and if they can’t make value, society dismisses them as worthless.

It’s a constant pressing on the back of your mind, “If you lose your job, you’ll lose your worth and everyone will abandon you.”

The earliest example I have of this feeling was before I was 10. I wanted to be a dog because I saw how people loved dogs without the dog having to do anything except be itself, and I wanted that.

#11 You Don’t Want These Problems

Men solve problems. It is how we are wired. Come to a man with anything resembling a problem we will try to solve it. Women don’t understand this. They want to vent about a problem just for the sake of venting, where men instinctively see a problem to be solved.

#10 Walking With A Purpose

If a man is walking and takes an unusually wide step, then resumes his normal gait, it’s because his scrotum is stuck to his leg and he’s trying to unstick it without sticking his hand down his pants.

#9 Tim Allen Is Pleased

We can condense an entire sentence down into a single grunt (combined with intonation and body language). An example from a recent road trip with my parents:

Me: So the service station is coming up soon, shall we stop there for dinner?
Dad: Yeah, I think so.

What my mum heard:
Me: Grunt?
Dad: Grunt

#8 A Million Thoughts At Once

When you ask what we are thinking about, and we say “nothing” it’s not that we aren’t actually thinking about anything. It’s that we don’t want to explain the train of thought that leads us to think about something absolutely ridiculous.

The other day my wife and I were in the car together and she asked what I was thinking about.

She had recently dyed her hair red, and I it reminded me of Ivy from Batman. I remembered the Uma Thurman scene from one of the old movies and pictured my wife in her place walking over a bunch of half-naked dudes. I got jealous of my own imagination and tried to figure out how many of those guys I could fight. Well, I am not good at fighting so I had to give myself an advantage of some sort. At this point, my wife asked what I was thinking about and I said: “How to fight ten half-naked guys at once”. She was confused and asked me to explain. It would have been much easier to say, “nothing”.

#7 Nodding Off

The sacred head nod. Head nod down is for acknowledgment, head nod up is for recognition. As in: a downward head nod says I acknowledge you exist and we have noticed each other existing. An upward head nod says hey, I know you. What follows after an upward head nod is completely dependent on the level of familiarity.

#6 Here Comes A New Challenger

Every stupid activity is competitive. Even when going for a run alone you see a light pole and a car driving towards it and your mind says: I have to reach the pole before the car or I’ll die. And then you run.

#5 Appreciating Beauty

Just because a woman is viewed as ‘hot’ doesn’t automatically mean we’re attracted to them. Case in point: Scarlett Johansson. Oh, I’ll freely admit, she’s beautiful, but for whatever reason, I don’t find her attractive. She’s just ‘not my brand.’

#4 Take A Swipe

Dating apps are completely different for us. Pretty much every time I match with a girl on Tinder, she’s the only match I’ll get all week. Meanwhile, she’s vetting me against the ten other guys she’s matched in the last five minutes.

It’s hard not to be a little bitter every time I hear female friends talking about how ridiculously easy it is for them to find dates on Tinder.

CREATIVELY_IMPARED

#3 Easy As Pie

Every guy, regardless of background, race, sexual identity, religion, nationality or taste in music has at one point in his life happened upon a marvel of woodwork and said to themselves, “I could do this.”

W8sB4D8s

#2 Riddle Me This

We have zero comprehension of hints or tips. If we ask a question we expect a direct response. If you want us to do something, tell us precisely what you want done and that’s what will happen.

If you ask our opinion you’ll get it… there are no hidden meanings etc. We say what we mean and mean what we say.

#1 Social Media Fail

We get almost zero social media interaction. Unless you have the physique of an underwear model or you’re super famous most guys get zero to two interactions of any kind on social media.
I was talking to a girl and she said she would delete any tweet or Instagram that didn’t get ten likes in the first five minutes. My wife complained about “only 30 people” liking some post she made. I told her the only posts I’ve EVER made with that many likes were when we were getting married and the birth of our son.
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