Single People Share Their Biggest Dating Struggle Right Now

Let’s face it: dating in the 21st Century is no walk in the park. Terms like “ghosting” and “benching” have popped up and continue to terrorize single people on a daily basis. As if dating without those horrible trends wasn’t hard enough… From having to sift through online profiles to navigating busy schedules, it can be hard to find the time and energy to dive into a relationship.

There are plenty of people who silently struggle to make sense of modern dating. It could be that they’re afraid of rejection, or don’t know how to interact with strangers they “match” with. Or, they might just be too engrossed in their own lives to care about pursuing a significant other.

No matter what the reason, there’s always some sort of barrier that prevents some single people from finding true love. These forever-alone single people share some of the dating issues they’ve encountered that have forced them to stay single!


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#37 Get A Job

Nowadays going on a date is SO expensive. Dinner? Drinks? Bowling Alley? Movies? I can barely afford it for myself, let alone another person! I need a job. Staying in all the time gets boring and loses appeal for the person I’m seeing.

Humaverse Contributor

#36 Home Is Where The Heart Is?

I want to date girls, but I can’t afford to move out. It’s super embarrassing to bring people back to my parent’s house. My parents also told me I’m not allowed to bring girls over either. I don’t really know what to do. I’m kind of in a standstill.

Humaverse Contributor

#35 The Internet Hasn’t Made Everything Easier

Online dating. On the surface, it seems great in that you can meet people online without having to physically see each other. The trade-off is the utter mountain of nonsense conversations and completely shallow profiles.


#34 The Major Downfalls Of Being A Wallflower

I constantly feel like I’m just a party trick. I can hold a conversation and crack a witty joke or reply, but most of the time, I’m silent. I feel as though if I started dating someone, they’d soon discover that I’m just an empty void. I fear to overstay my welcome in someone’s life and being revealed for the truly bland person I am.


#33 I’m Not Exactly A “People Person.”

I don’t put myself in scenarios to meet other people. I go to work; then I go home. The only time I come into contact with someone new is at a store or restaurant, but it would be very inappropriate to hit on someone who HAS to be there.


#32 Tinder Is A Three-Ring Circus

I hate feeling like I have to entertain women on Tinder to stand out. I understand that “Hi there. How are you?” is boring, particularly when 500 other men are in your inbox using that same opening line, but having to come up with a zinger, pun, or memorable pickup line for every new woman I match with is tiring. I want to connect with someone, not dance like a trained monkey for them.

Women just have too many potential matches for them to wade through. It’s exhausting for a guy to have to constantly fight to be noticed among the horde of mindless, horny dudes.


#31 It’s Time To Get Serious

I don’t want to date anyone I don’t see a serious future with. This makes it way too easy to pick at minor faults in people, and quite unfairly too.


#30 What’s So Bad About Staying Single?

I’m maybe a bit too comfortable being single. I got a good thing going on right now. I operate on my schedule, I do what I want and when I want, and I’m able to be self-absorbed.

It’s nice—I don’t put much effort (or any at all) into dating because I’m happy right now.


#29 I Guess It’s Better Safe Than Sorry

I have no idea how to read whether women are trying to flirt with me or not. I always just err on the side of caution and assume they aren’t. I see it happen to others and I understand what things are done, but I just don’t know how to apply it to myself.


#28 All The Odds Are Working Against Them

Almost every girl I meet has a boyfriend or husband.

Many people I meet can’t answer their phone or respond to a text.

Many people cancel plans or don’t even show up.

The ones that finally get past these initial stages are often busy that I can barely see them.


#27 I’m Not Saying She’s A Gold Digger… But Is She?

I had just entered my 30s. As I get older, it feels like dating is getting increasingly more casual. I also feel like I’m too old to keep dating women in their 20s. It kind of becomes a power issue when you have a well-paid job, a sizeable home, a nice car, and are seeing someone that is still going to school, working minimum wage jobs, and are still a decade or so away of being able to independently live the lifestyle you offer. Not that it’s a huge deal breaker, but it makes it hard to tell how much of a woman’s interest is in my actual person and not just in what I have to offer financially.

In my age category, it’s usually divorced moms everywhere, and I’m not looking to take care of someone else’s child. It is like I missed the train to figure that out when I was just broke, and all I had to offer was an outgoing attitude and a dirty sense of humor.

Maybe I’m just a snob with trust issues and should just get over it. I haven’t figured it out yet.


#26 Pretty Much Everyone Sucks At Tinder

Online dating sucks for a billion reasons. I find myself getting inordinately frustrated with common patterns that I see on profiles, like primary pictures that use Snapchat filters, or using photos with multiple people in them.

There are the profiles that have nothing but “Just ask!” below them, as well as the obvious bot models with a “Call Me” number along with their profile picture. There are also people whose entire profiles read like they have an ax to grind, rather than saying anything remotely interesting about themselves.

The whole experience is truly soul-crushing.


#25 It Only Goes Downhill From Here

The dating pool gets worse in your late 20s, especially if you’re very average looking like me. The only women interested in me outweigh me by 100 pounds or have four kids. Also, girls on Tinder are the absolute worst. Why does every single girl want someone to go on adventures with and must include their love of tacos in their bio? It’s not quirky and fun.


#24 I Didn’t Sign Up For A “Yeah.”

I hate always being the one who has to initiate contact and to keep the conversation going. It gets so frustrating when I go on a dating site, and I write a long message only to get a single “yeah” back. It’s even worse when I finally get a conversation going, and the only thing they talk about for the past ten messages is themselves.

Maybe every two years I’ll go on a date. I’ll have a great time, send a nice message saying how much I enjoyed their company, and ask to meet up again. But nope, I just get that vague “Yeah sure,” then get ghosted a day later.


#23 There’s Virtually No Way To Win

I’ll meet a girl I like, go out on a date with her and have an amazing time.

I want to see her again soon, so I’ll text her and wait about a week before asking her out again. Sounds normal right?

But after the first date, even after having a blast, I get nothing: very little communication, and a total about-face.

Weeks go by, and I give up. Not without feeling like the most worthless human being on the planet.


#22 If You Think Your Workplace Anxiety Is Bad

I have an incredibly hard time reading interest. Multiple times, my female co-workers have looked at me incredulously because a pretty girl was flirting with me (according to them) and I didn’t try anything back. I just immediately think, “Oh she’s nice. That’s a nice person,” because I’m not going to be the creepy guy that hits on nice happy people.

I have a type, and it’s slim pickings where I live.

I also have a simple routine: I get to work at 6 a.m., I get to the gym at 2:30 p.m., I get home at 4:30 p.m. None of these things yield any chances to meet or talk to women I’m interested in, and I don’t know where to go or what to do to meet the girls I’m interested in anyway.


#21 Being Single Is An Introvert’s Paradise

I have a difficult time connecting. As an introvert, it’s very rare that I find someone attractive, interesting and mentally stimulating who I want to spend my time with.


#20 The Supernatural Frequency Of Unnecessary Ghosting

The ghosting culture. The fact that you had a good date or two and then all of a sudden they just stop talking to you.

It’s annoying and immature. If you’re not interested, just tell me. I’m a big boy; I can take it.

It’s just the culture of online dating; I can’t stand online dating.


#19 What Does A ‘Match’ Even Do?

I deleted Tinder in favor of Bumble because I thought it would be better. It has been worse. At least I got matches on Tinder. So far I have no matches on Bumble.

On a similar note. I don’t know what to say when I do get a match. Everything I can think of is either too boring, super cringy, or possibly sexist.


#18 This Might Be Pushing Healthy Boundaries

I’m pretty outgoing and chatty, but I love my alone time and not having to interact with other human beings. So, part of me wants to go on dates and spend time with someone I like, but only when I feel up to it. Another part of me is like, “What if he wants to call me frequently? What if he wants to see me every weekend? What if he wants to text throughout the day?” I worry I’ll get sick of someone because of that. So, I think I sometimes sabotage my dating efforts by not being as open as I should and maybe seeming a little uninterested even when I am.

I don’t know; my dream marriage would be like Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter. When they were married, they lived in adjoining connected houses. Like, I can see the person and be with them, but then retreat to my own house afterward and do whatever I want.


#17 As If Being Gay Doesn’t Make Dating Hard Enough

Being a straight-acting, 5 out of 10 at best, really socially awkward gay man makes it impossible to date anyone.

I am not up to the general appearance standard of being gay, I don’t have much in common with most gays, I am not a social person, and I suck at human interaction.


#16 Can’t You Let A Man Dream?

The struggle would be trying to “keep it casual.” No one in their 20s or early 30s wants to be in a long-term relationship. And I don’t mean to sound like I’m just someone that no one wants to be around. I have a pretty steady friend-with-benefits thing going on and I go on a date from Tinder or Bumble around once a week or so. Am I crazy for wanting a wife, Yellow Labrador, and possibly a child?


#15 No One Has Time For These Ditzy Dates

I have a real hard time finding people with similar interests and good communication skills. I’m not super well-versed in pop culture, and so I don’t pick up on the references people like to bond over. I’m a good conversationalist; I like discussing art, culture and above all, literature and foreign language. The guys I’ve met in the past year have been pretty self-absorbed, and the conversation usually ends up being one-sided.


#14 So… Maybe The Problem Is Me

Maybe I’m the problem.

I’ve been playing by selfish rules. I’ve blown off plenty of great people or let relationships prematurely die because I thought that I could do better and didn’t want to “settle.” But then again, if a woman were to do the same thing to me, I’d convince myself that person was the right one for me. I have no problem rejecting others for the slightest thing, but I get hurt if I’m rejected myself.


#13 Come On, Ladies, We All Know The Answer

None of the ladies are gonna say it? Creeps. Creeps are the worst part about dating right now. It can be really hard to gauge a man’s creep factor over text, so I’d get pumped up for dates only to be disappointed.


#12 As It Turns Out, Relationships Are Hard


I’ve spent my life coming up with reasons not to get into a relationship and investing in school and investing in a career. No options near me. I’m not going to live here for very long. Got some injury I’m bouncing back from. Excuse after excuse. And now, I’m like, ten years behind the game and not sure how to learn to play without wasting people’s time.

Sometimes I fear I’m so far behind it’s not worth trying to catch up.


#11 Forced To Play Pointless Games

I’m told I have to play hard to get and stop coming off so eager. But I hate playing games. If I want to text a guy right after a date to let him know I had a good time, I’m going to do it. I’d be flattered if someone texted me soon after seeing me… But, some people think it makes me look needy.

I hate these stupid dating games.


#10 All The Single Ladies!

No one will introduce me to single women they know. I can’t go out after work because I always have a second shift and get off late. When I do go out, I somehow always wind up at an event with couples. Online dating is terrible. And the few times I’m able to meet a single woman, she’s either ten years younger than me, or there’s no mutual interest.


#9 That’s What You Get For Trying To Unplug

I got rid of all social media but most dating sites require some form of it, so just getting the chance to talk to someone or meet someone is a real struggle. At this point, I’ve just given up dating and figure it’s safer, happier, and financially responsible for living single.


#8 If You Weren’t Raised Into Romance…

Growing up in an environment where dating is frowned upon, I’m not entirely sure how to get started or go about meeting people in that regard. I’ve become great friends with a lot of people, but I genuinely don’t know what the next step is that separates great friendship from romantic interest.


#7 Drifting In The Oh-So-Dreaded Friendzone

Getting put in the friend zone, but still thinking there’s a chance to get out of it and not taking a chance at another potential date because of it.


#6 Well, That Didn’t Help Their Insecurity One Bit

The fact that I know my lack of self-confidence is the main reason I’m single, but my anxiety keeps me from trying to pretend to be confident.


#5 If You’re Going To Fail, At Least Go Down Sabotaging Yourself

I’m confident in some things, but dating isn’t one of them. If someone told me that I had to make the commencement address at Princeton next year, I’d probably shrug and go, “Alright, I can figure that out.” But talking to the cute girl at the bookstore? My gears go into overdrive, and I either try way too hard or not hard enough. I want to impress and end up sounding like an insipid ass, or I pretend to be casual and appear aloof and disinterested. These are all really just forms of self-sabotage.


#4 What’s The Big Deal About Babies?

I’m a 25-year-old male, and I don’t want kids, ever. Period. No discussion. No “Oh you’ll change your mind.” I’ve yet to find a woman who is okay with this. Every woman I’ve met has at least wanted the option to remain open. But I can’t lie like that. Just recently lost a girl I believe is perfect for me, but I can’t look her in the eye and tell her I’ll have a kid with her eventually.


#3 If Everyone Was More Honest, We Could Avoid This

I get too attached too quickly, and in the age of online dating, which I enjoy, it can be a problem. I read someone’s profile, and we talk a bit, and I’m really into them, then I don’t get a reply from them for a week, and it hurts. I understand that people have different preferences and I don’t expect everyone to be into me, but I don’t know. It would help a lot if you just said so.


#2 There’s No Way To Escape These Guys

Clingers and creeps: both very effective deterrents that aren’t isolated to one part of town or type of venue. I fly solo a lot, so maybe the chill dudes think I don’t want to be bothered, but the weirdos seem to think I need their full attention.


#1 So, Maybe A Relationship Just Isn’t In The Timeline


I have been alone most of my life. My father taught me at a young age to suppress my feelings. I can be sweet with a girl, but once things get heavy, I tense up, get very anxious and essentially screw something up. A lot of women expect men to take charge in certain aspects. It’s hard to let down those walls I’ve built up, and no one has the patience to help me through it. It’s devastatingly lonely.