People Share Why Their Ex Is An Ex
Relationships can be difficult to navigate. Finding someone who you are attracted to and enjoy spending time with isn’t always easy, but it’s exciting when it does happen. At the start of the relationship, things are often great. You’re getting along and everything you do together feels fun and new. However, as time progresses, those feelings can sometimes begin to waver.
Things you once found endearing about your partner slowly start to irritate you. You fight more than usual. It becomes increasingly clear that this isn’t the person you are meant to be with. It’s disappointing, but breakups are part of life. Though you may question your decision to call off the relationship, usually it’s in your best interests. Just take it from these people who recently shared they their ex is an ex.
#1 No Patience For The Patient
I was in the emergency room with kidney stones. I didn’t know it was kidney stones at the time, I just knew I was in the most pain I’d ever been in. She got upset because I wasn’t paying attention to her. Seriously? I’m in an emergency room hooked up to an IV with pain killers flowing through me, half-conscious because of the morphine, and apparently, I’m a jerk for not paying attention to her.
It came to a head when I asked her to get a nurse because something didn’t feel right (they had given me something I was allergic to and I was starting to have an allergic reaction). She said, “Fine, I’ll just be your babysitter.” At that point, I just told her to go home, since her negativity was making me feel worse. She got all angry, threw a fit, and left in a rage.
The next day, I didn’t even call her for a ride back home when I got out of the hospital. I called my aunt and had her drive me home. The moment I got home, I started packing my stuff. If you have to be the center of attention and can’t feel any empathy whatsoever, you’re a garbage human I don’t want anything to do with.
#2 Robbed Of Love
I was nearly robbed. Before the story came out, she said, “Darn, I didn’t know that your great grandparent’s medals were stolen.” It turned out, she hired two guys to rob me because I told her my brother was having a serious asthma attack and I’d be at the hospital. She wanted to show me that she found the medals.
#3 No Making Up
I realized it was a toxic relationship when he got mad at me for not wearing makeup.
#4 Unhappy In Hometown
He wanted to get out of his home town. I moved there years before and enjoyed every minute of it. He wanted to expand his wings, I wanted to stay put. As much as I loved him, I had to let him go. I wouldn’t have been happy where he ended up, and he wouldn’t have been happy staying where we were. It’s been nine years and both of us are happily married to other people. I met a man who loved routine as much as I do, and he met a woman who was hungry for adventure. Things just work themselves out.
#5 Online Opportunities
My friend sent me a screenshot of the secret OKCupid profile he used to look for flings.
#6 Punch Drunk Love
My girlfriend was verbally abusive on a regular basis. She would also get physical when she drank too much. She wasn’t really strong enough to hurt me seriously, but when the person you love starts trying to sucker punch you, it is really frustrating. I still miss her a lot. Some days she was wonderful and the sweetest person ever. Others she was bitter, angry, and would do anything to try to get a reaction out of me by insulting me.
I started to become my insecure high school self after a while and had to give up. She dealt with a lot of really horrible abuse in her past and I didn’t want to ever be the next abuser because of my own anger and frustration so I had to let her go. I still miss her. I still love her. Wish things had been different.
#7 Controlling and Coniving
Not really an ex, but someone I dated for a month or two. We started talking about marriage and having kids after the third or fourth date. She would call me in the middle of the night because she needed help with something that any fully functional adult should be able to do by themselves, i.e. stuff like lifting a 10-pound object from the floor and placing it on a counter.
I finally broke it off when she told me to cut out any and all ties to one of my best friends because I was not allowed to talk to other girls while we’re dating. She ended up stalking me for like six months and even threatened to end me in my sleep. I’d switch my phone off and she’d send me 80+ messages that usually evolved from trying to guilt trip me into taking her back to borderline psychotic ranting and empty threats.
#8 Rushing To The Aisle
I knew him for about three months and he wanted to know when he could ask my dad to marry me. He thought six months of dating would be good and he had our whole life planned out. We were both only 17 at the time. Now he just bad talks me on Twitter.
#9 Strange Sneeze Fetish
He had a sneeze fetish that he obsessed unhealthily over. In my sleep, he’d ball up cat hair and try to put it into my nose. I didn’t know he was doing this to me until I had a nasty sinus infection and had to get it flooded out at urgent care. Out came small balls of cat hair. The final straw was cheating on me with a girl who had a bigger nose than me. She was his ex and he just couldn’t get over that nose despite the fact she was literally psychotic. They were perfect for each other. Not my loss, but it was my mistake ever trying to be tolerant and understanding of him. Makes great material for the biography I’ll never write.
#10 Long-Term Lasagna
I dated her for almost a decade and our time together made me a better person. I’m grateful for the time we shared and don’t regret it, but I’ve made my peace and spent nearly two years swallowing that bitter, gargantuan pill. I wish her the best and view her in warm regard, but I don’t want to be her friend or even cross paths with her ever again. Getting over the breakup had to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and picking that scab just to keep up the meaningless platitude of “we can still be friends” would be a waste of both of our time.
#11 Message From Mom
He had his mom text me to break up with me just before a big vacation we were going to take together. We were both adults. Also, his dog was extremely aggressive towards me (but I would be too if I hadn’t been walked in two weeks).
#12 Knives And Ketchup
She stabbed me during an argument about whether ketchup should be kept in the fridge or the pantry.
#13 Jobless And Lonely
He constantly belittled me because he was jealous of my success. He had no ambition or job. He thought having a homosexual affair outside of our heterosexual marriage shouldn’t count because at least he came home at the end of the night. It was all my fault because I visited my family once and he was lonely.
#14 Screenshot Sabotage
I had been considering breaking up with her for a while because she would lie about little things that made no sense lying about. She never cheated or anything, but she would do anything to get more attention from me and other people. I started noticing this when one night she sent me screenshots of her text messages between her and her dad.
I had known her dad for a while and the things he was saying in these texts were awful. They were things like “You’re worthless” or “I wish you weren’t my daughter.” If there was one thing he showed it was how much he loved his two daughters. I was kind of skeptical when she sent me these because he would never say that stuff, but obviously, I couldn’t just come out and tell her I didn’t believe her because if it was true, then I’d be a terrible person.
I thought she was changing her contact info and texting herself in order to make it seem like it was her dad who was sending that stuff. Anyway, this happened a few more times in the next few weeks and I was just there for her trying to be a good boyfriend because there was always the chance that it could be true.
Well, one weekend she went to a concert with her friend and afterward, she was tipsy. We were FaceTiming and she told me that I was still in love with my ex. Immediately, I was like, what are you talking about, and she responded by telling me that I texted my ex telling her I still loved her. She said she had a screenshot, so I told her to send it to me and there it was, a screenshot of me telling my ex I love her.
The problem was that I never sent that and it was obvious she texted it to herself She made it look realistic though because she even went out of her way to use the exact contact picture I had for my ex which was a very unique dumb picture. The moment this happened, I knew the screenshots of her dad weren’t real and I proceeded to break up with her the day she got back. That is why she is my ex.
#15 Too Much Distance
The distance became too hard for us, more so for her, and she ended it with me as it was hard dating across an ocean. We’re still friendly though and chat every now and again.
#16 Aching With Anxiety
I knew my anxiety was getting worse. I didn’t want to put her through it. She didn’t want to be put through it, I know. She and I broke up a few months ago. I just had no contact with her. I hope she finds someone who wasn’t as broken as me. Maybe in a while, I’ll be better and we can talk again. But until then, I’m going to try to not talk to her.
#17 Disappearing After Family Death
Boy, was I in love with her. We got a nice place together, had the same schedule, the same hobbies, and it was great. We were set to graduate college and I honestly felt like it was a dream come true. Then, one day, her brother’s body was found in his apartment 1,000 miles away up in Seattle. He was wound up in bad stuff and had been missing for weeks. It was terribly sad.
She flew up to Washington to get his affairs in order. I told her I’d go with her, and it’s my biggest regret that I didn’t. She stayed in Washington while I had this huge apartment, our dog, our furniture, our vehicles… I kept trying to reach her, but nothing. By the time cellphones and the internet became prevalent, I tried other ways to find her. I even flew up to Seattle to see if I could locate any trace of her.
All I found was her brother’s tombstone in a cemetery. I paid my respects and left. She was gone. Never came back. I’ve tried finding her on social media. But I’ve come to the conclusion that; as much as I loved her, she had her own path to follow. And I love her just the same. I hope she’s still out there, and happy. I miss you, sweetheart. I’ll never forget you.
#18 Cutting It Short
I wasn’t that important to him. He’s never made time to see me and when he did, he’d blow me off. He’d cut the time short with me to keep his commitments but I never once did that to him. He was also incapable of doing the fundamental basics of any relationship, platonic or otherwise.
#19 Testing Her Trust
I had a few ex’s before this one, but she was the most serious. Her phone would make texting sounds at odd hours of the night. I asked her about it and she said, I don’t know what you’re talking about. She took a shower, I went through her phone and saw she’d been texting with her ex. I didn’t break up with her because I was immature and had never dumped anybody before, so instead, we stayed together for another six months.
She went out of town to visit family at some point. I went to a bar, got tipsy, ran into a female friend of mine who was also tipsy and made out with her, in front of, unbeknownst to me at the time, one of her co-workers. She dumped me as soon as she came home. If you’re reading this and you need to hear as much: trust is everything! If you don’t have it, you have nothing.
#20 Fed Up With The Put-Downs
She was emotionally abusive to the point where I couldn’t hang out with her without her putting me down about something. Also, she was a liar and a cheater. I put up with it for six years and I won’t EVER waste time on someone like that again.
#21 Suffering In Silence
She was probably the most weak-minded woman I’ve ever dated. Like, she was so quiet and complacent, that I probably could have smacked her in the face and she’d say sorry for doing whatever she did to get slapped. It was frustrating because when I wanted to talk, like really talk about soul-searing life stuff, she’d never open up and would merely just want me to keep talking so she could just listen. I’d try to get her to open up but she never had anything to say and whenever we went out she’d latch onto me like a scared child.
#22 The Orange Juice Fight
I bought orange juice the week before and he drank it all without any regard that I might want some. I bought more and asked him to make sure he left some for me. When the yelling started, I tried to leave the kitchen. He’s over six feet and outweighed me by 120 pounds. He forced me to stay there while he yelled at me for several hours and wouldn’t let me leave.
He then slapped my hand because I was pointing at him. To add insult to my injury, he spent the week giving me the silent treatment. After three days of that, I was done. The day he wanted to discuss it, was the day I’d written the check to the lawyer and it was the best decision I’ve made in my long, long life.
#23 Not Ready To Grow Up
I was too immature to be ready for the seriousness of a real adult relationship. We got together my first year of university and we were together for almost five years. I never seemed to grow out of that university person who wanted to hang out with his friends and just enjoy life. She was much more mature and ready. We ended up buying a house and moving in together. Six months later, it was over.
I just wasn’t ready to be a grownup and that’s what she needed and deserved. She is now married and has moved to a major city a few provinces over. She started her own business that was initially just a hobby when we were together. As far as I know, she’s doing well and I hope her days are filled with nothing but happiness. She was a great person. Thankfully, I’ve grown up and can give my current significant other the benefit of the learning and growing I did as a result of my last relationship.
#24 Bye, Bye, Birdy Killer
He threatened to hurt baby birds and told me he did out of anger. He demanded I’d be completely obedient to him in the moment of anger. He kept texting me constantly about how he was trying to scare and intimidate me to get me away. Later on, after we broke up, kept texting me on various social media accounts and it was pretty creepy, honestly. Random stuff about inner anger. I knew within a year of that relationship that things were going to end, but there were several other behaviors that made it worse.
#25 A Phoney Excuse
Two days before he was supposed to fly in to visit for Valentine’s Day, he admitted to making out with someone else in the hopes that I’d break up with him. When I didn’t, he said he couldn’t handle a long distance relationship (he never brought it up as a problem before). A three-year relationship ended in a sudden 10-minute phone call. I told him to have a nice life, hung up, blocked him everywhere possible, and haven’t talked to him since.
Two days later, I met a drool-worthy older guy who likes to travel, isn’t a couch potato, and treats me like a gem. It took him some time to get over a break-up of his own, but we’re dating now and enjoy each other’s company more than I can say. I’ve never had so much to lose in a relationship. It’s wonderful but also freaking terrifying.
#26 Never Enough
All he cared about was himself. What I did didn’t matter to him. Working full time, going to school full time, making sure he had dinner, and making sure everything was good for him just wasn’t enough. In general, I wasn’t enough. I couldn’t even keep his attention when we would go out. It made me feel like I was meaningless in his life.
#27 Misery With No Company
I loved him but I realized that no matter what I did, I could never truly make him happy or pull him out of his misery. He thought we were drifting, and I didn’t want to put him in more pain by keeping it alive for longer than it had to be. I still love him, but I could never give him what he needed. I wish the very best for him: someone who can help and love him, and show him that misery isn’t the only way.
#28 Forever Fighting
We fought every day. It was mentally draining. I couldn’t fool myself into believing that the good moments were worth it anymore. I realized that I was looking forward to the evenings she had night school. It wasn’t a big leap to realize I would be happier without her.
#29 Terrifyingly Toxic
We were young and both toxic people. We fueled each other’s fire in the worst way possible. The physical chemistry was amazing but we fought and broke up more than we got along. That was several years ago and we’ve finally reached the point of being civil, but it was scary there for a while.
#30 Her Last Mission
She was in the military, and I was an engineer. We had been going out for quite a bit before, and we decided to settle down and become more serious, talking about kids, etc. She was considering changing jobs, and I was too. We both quit and started on our future. I took some of the money I got to go to the other side of the world to visit my father, and she went on a flight for one of her last missions.
My flight arrived, hers didn’t. I got the news when I arrived at Singapore airport. I took the first flight back, but it didn’t make any difference; they found the wreckage shortly afterward. No survivors. That was a long time ago, I was 20-something, and now I’m 40-something, with two kids, and about to get married. As a lot of people here say, “Life moves on.” Still, it still hurts a little bit to talk about it, but oh well.
#31 Justifying His Love
She had really low self-esteem. I had to constantly reassure her that she was beautiful and she always asked if I still loved her or why I loved her. When you have to constantly justify your love to a girl, I find that often times, you stop loving her. Last summer, I went on a trip to a different country without her, while she went on a different trip. During our trips, I had a lot of fun, but evidently, she did not, as she texted me a lot about how terrible she thought she was and, unfortunately, I got tired of it.
We were on vacation and supposed to be enjoying our time in new countries. Hearing her beat up on herself and having to justify my love over literal hours on the phone got the best of me. I ignored her rants for the rest of the time I was out of the US and had an absolute blast with the people who went with me. Soon after we got back home, we got into yet another trivial argument, and realizing how much fun I had without her, I broke it off. It sucked and still sucks sometimes for both of us, but I’m at least a lot happier of a person because of it. And I hope she’s doing okay too; she was really angry with me afterward and I don’t know if she’s ever forgiven me.
#32 Escape Route
She didn’t really see me as a person, she saw me as an escape route to working. She just wanted to get married so she could live off of me and not work. I didn’t really agree with that because we don’t live in that kind of economy.
#33 The Hobby Hangup
I just got dumped by her a month or so ago. She wouldn’t respect my job or my hobby with cars. Tensions just increased over the last three months and eventually, it ended with a discussion about a petty argument. Apparently, her expectations differed from mine, and that’s okay. But what I couldn’t get over is the pure lack of respect towards my hobby.
You just can’t lightly toss aside your significant other when he comes to you excited about something. Yes, I know you don’t understand a word of what I am about to say, but out of support for me, just listen and nod your head gosh darn it! Anyway, I’m starting to feel glad it’s over. Things will gradually get better.
#34 Too Soon To Move In
We were friends for over 10 years. Eventually, we tried the relationship thing but unfortunately lived in two different cities. We went long distance for a year—she worked nights and weekends which was tough since I work a normal 9-to-5. She left me with an ultimatum: either I let her move in WITH me in my city or I move near her family in a completely different state.
I wasn’t ready to have her live with me, as I never had the opportunity to live on my own before. Things were always good because we only saw each other for a few days at a time so we never had the chance to argue or fight over anything. I figured moving in together without having a “normal” relationship in the same city first was a bad idea. She took it as me not loving her and not being committed, which couldn’t be further from the truth. We still text once in a while but seems like there’s no point to it now. Timing is everything, I suppose.
#35 Content With Co-Parenting
I was unhappy, lonely, and pretty sad… I felt alone all the time. We struggled at having kids at first, but then we were eventually able to have a kid. That’s when I realized I couldn’t raise a kid in that kind of environment. We are way better friends and have, what I feel is, an incredible relationship where we don’t hold each other to expectations. It’s actually been way more supportive than I ever felt in our marriage.
#36 Forced Out
He was emotionally abusive. He made me feel guilty when I would hang out with my friends over him. We constantly hung out with his friends though. We “had” to go out every weekend and he would throw a fit if I didn’t feel like going anywhere. He never cared to ask how my day was. When I was sick, he didn’t care for me but expected me to take care of him. I stayed with him for six years and probably would still be with him if he hadn’t broken up with me over the phone.
#37 Runaway Bride
She just straight up ghosted me a month before the wedding. I stalked her a bit on Facebook because who wouldn’t want answers? Turns out, she moved across the country and was already with someone else. It sucked, but she is someone else’s problem now and my life has taken a weird, weird turn since then. I’m with someone so much better.
#38 Catty Behavior
He got mad at our cat because she woke him up while he was sleeping. He threw her and I got mad. I told him I would never have kids with someone who does that to any living creature when upset.
#39 Always Angry
I couldn’t really control my anger issues and at one point, she didn’t want to deal with it. I’ve never hit her and she said she’d stick with me through it, but I can’t blame her for leaving. I would find something small very annoying and proceed to go into a silent state for the following three hours. I didn’t want the break up to happen but from it, so I’ve stopped all that.
I’ve become laid back and it’s all thanks to her. We don’t speak anymore but I wish she would know that because of her and the relationship, I was able to become a better person. Honestly, if I can go back to our relationship with the knowledge that I have now, I would do anything to win her back. Very impossible now, but that’s okay. I’m okay now.
#40 Cross-Country Cheating
We were in a long distance relationship. It wasn’t working out for him though, so he broke up with me. We still kept daily contact, however. When he came back to visit, he told me that he missed me and so we hung out the entire week he was there. I was pretty sure we were going to make it work and get back together (that’s what I was hoping for).
Turns out, when he went back to his other country, I found out, by luck, that he was actually in a relationship with another girl. So yeah… he cheated on her with me… The best part? This was a girl that I had some red flags with and he was actually dating her while we were still together. Yup… Felt like a complete idiot and that’s how he became my ex forever.
#41 Unrequited Love
He went for drinks with a girl he had pretty much been in love with since school. He hadn’t seen her in 10 years but he insisted it wasn’t a date and I had nothing to worry about. Then he went out with again, this time, behind my back, then another time when he finally admitted his feeling to her. I kept telling myself not to worry, thinking he could never hurt me like that. But then one day, she confessed her love to him. He had a choice to make, and he chose her. I was devastated, but after some time to heal, I realized I deserved better than someone. To him, what he did wasn’t cheating because we were never official.
#42 Convinced Of Cheating
She was convinced that I was cheating on her. Her mom made her mind up that I was cheating on her. Her coworkers gave her advice on how to deal with my cheating butt. Her friends were telling her to leave me for cheating on her. The final straw was her mom sitting down and grilling me for cheating on her for 30 minutes straight in front of my ex’s friend I just met. The twist? I have never cheated at any point in my life, full stop. I am not currently cheating. I will never cheat. That’s not who I am.
#43 Battling With Booze
She loved to drink, though I didn’t know it at the time. I thought we were just drifting apart. I thought I didn’t like her friends or the city we lived in. But really, it was that she loved to drink and get tipsy. I couldn’t really handle it. We stayed close after the break-up, and I saw how the drinks basically ruined the rest of her relationships too. In the end, it ended her.
#44 Money-Saving Mode
He wasn’t happy when we weren’t traveling. He became distant and angry all the time. He wouldn’t spend money on anything and expected me to spend for both of us which left me in a really tough spot financially. He then told me off. If I couldn’t save in his timeline, he would go traveling without me. He ended up cheating on me twice, both times in between trips when we were in “money saving mode.”
I think he’s still dating the last person he cheated on me with, but the girl knew about me and left her fiance for him, so I think they deserve each other. I’m so much happier now though. I was from the moment we split. And the guy I’ve found now… I wasn’t a fraction as happy with the ex as I am now every day.
#45 One-Sided Love
He told me he loved me in the middle of the night. He woke up out of a dead sleep, after three weeks of casually hooking up. We didn’t make it official until we tried an open relationship. I fell hard in love with him. Dude was and is my best friend. No one made me laugh harder, love harder, smile harder than him. We broke up after almost two years because he was unhappy with himself and he couldn’t love or feel. There is always a spot in my heart for him.