People Share The Obvious Red Flags They Overlooked Because Their Partner Was Hot
They say that love is blind, but sometimes it’s that very notion that ends up hurting us in the long run. In the beginning stages of a relationship, much of the connection stems from our physical attraction to another person. Often, it is their appearance that initially catches our attention, and our feelings only deepen the more we get to know the person. Particularly, in cases when we feel we are dating someone who is out of our leagues in the looks department, we might be a little too willing to overlook some personality flaws for the sake of continuing the relationship.
But, as they also say, looks can be deceiving— and just because you are physically attracted to someone doesn’t necessarily mean you are compatible with them. Just take it from these people, who recently took to the internet to share stories about the obvious red flags they chose to ignore just because their partner was hot.
#1 Gaming On The Go
He got into a car wreck because he installed a PlayStation in his car. He and his friend were playing on it while he was driving.
#2 Self Diagnosis
One day, she turned to me and said: “My doctor disagrees, but I’ve decided to go off the medication.”
#3 Permanent Mistake
He had his own name tattooed on himself. I brushed it off as quirky—it’s gotta be a joke, right? There’s no way a real person could be that comically narcissistic, right? Long story short, he eventually started playing recordings of himself singing and playing guitar… while we were intimately involved. The cherry on top was that he never reciprocated and was by far the worst I’ve ever had. Don’t even get me started on the emotional disappointment.
I’m ashamed to admit that our “relationship” lasted almost a year because I was in denial that someone so good looking could be such an irredeemable pile of worthlessness.
#4 Punch Drunk Love
My ex and I had an argument as we were going to bed. Realizing that we weren’t getting anywhere, we decided to deal with it in the morning. I fell asleep but she kept fuming, punching me in the kidneys while I was already deep asleep. I woke up unable to breathe. I don’t react well to violence, so I just got dressed and left the apartment for the night. She apologized in the morning and we talked it out. In some warped logic, she said that since she is so petite, hitting me was not a big deal. Nah, it is a big deal and there is no justification for violence.
#5 Missing The Message
A woman sent me a Facebook message that read, “It looks like we have the same boyfriend,” and instead of being smart about it and talking to her, I talked to him about it. Since I had a key to his place, I figured she was just jealous or whatever.
Months later, he asked me to see if I could figure out what was wrong with his computer. He left me his logins and everything I needed to try and figure out what was going on. I proceeded to find hundreds of videos of him and other women along with Craigslist ads with pictures of the both of us saying he was looking for someone to join us. I had no knowledge of any of this. The worst part was that he was a scummy sheriff for the county we lived in.
#6 Dad Knows Best
Her father told me days before we got married that she was a severe narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but herself. Thinking back, all I had were red flags, and no green ones at all.
#7 Oh Baby
He moved way too fast and kept pressuring me to have a baby with him. I only knew him for four months. OH BOY. He even made me take a pregnancy test in front of him during our breakup because— get this—he thought I was pregnant and was going to keep the baby from him!
#8 2 Busy 2 Text U
She was always on her phone, but never replied to my texts.
#9 Intoxicating Relationship
I didn’t think anything of it until I started to reflect back on it about a month into the relationship. We literally went out to bars every single night we were together. It was a consistent thing that went on without fail for three months.
She would pick me up from work and already have a case of beverages ready to go in the back. I would go visit her at her place and she would have a bottle of wine on the go. The biggest red flag should have been the first two nights we ever officially hung out together… I picked her up from her friend’s house because she needed a way home. The entire way, she just kept telling me how much she wanted me. She couldn’t even keep her eyes open… I told her how uncomfortable I was because she was so tipsy at the moment. The next day, I told her nothing happened and she would tease me for not making a move. It was such a huge conflict in my morals.
It took me three months to finally walk away from that, but I’m glad I was able to. No one was worth that kind of mental game.
#10 Stop Schooling
He held my hand, looked deep into my eyes, and wistfully protested, “Don’t finish your schooling in the city an hour away, I’m afraid you’ll meet someone and leave me.”
What is that Bojack quote? “If you are wearing rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like… flags.”
#11 Two-Timing Ex
She said, “Don’t post pictures of us online, my ex owes me money and won’t give it to me if he sees I’m with someone.”
Turns out, she was still dating him. We found out about each other, obviously.
He and I talked it out and became friends. She went on to cheat on more guys.
#12 Self-Involved Sabotage
She was super into her looks. She wore lots of makeup, talked negatively about other women’s looks, watched the Kardashians as much as humanly possible, and scrolled through Instagram constantly. I can’t even remember what we ever did while we were in the same room together. As soon as the intimacy got boring, our relationship was over. Makes sense now, but at the time, I tried to make it work. I had no idea what to do.
#13 Crazy Eddie
I dated a charismatic man who was so much fun. Let’s call him Eddie because that’s his name. Eddie was the life of the party. He had wild stories for days. We would sit at a bar and he knew someone everywhere we went. Only men though. Most of his stories involved a crazy woman. I didn’t fully realize that until later.
Eddie ended up getting tipsy one night. He very aggressively kept me in his apartment by force for hours and hours. I thought he was going to end me. I tried calling 911 and blurted out the address and fast as I could, but he grabbed my phone before I could finish and sinisterly grumbled to the dispatcher, “She’s fine.” He took my phone and my keys. He really roughed me up. I escaped and he was charged with assault, false kidnapping, interference during an emergency and disorderly conduct. Don’t trust guys with more than ten crazy girls in his past.
#14 Severely Sheltered
I dated a silver spoon narcissist who I helped pick up an IKEA book shelf off Craigslist. On the way home, she was so stressed at the thought of buying something secondhand she kept convincing herself that she could do so. “Yes dear, this shelf will help your books defy gravity far more nobly than some homeless person’s books.”
#15 Game Over
Very early on, he raged at a stranger in an online game because the person took his main character. He blamed the guy for sabotaging the entire game for our team because or composition was so fragmented.
Later, I discovered he had massive body hang-ups to the point where he couldn’t handle giving or receiving physical attention without shutting down emotionally. In that sense, I didn’t even get to benefit from the attractiveness.
Much later, I discovered that kindness is the sexiest trait you can ever have.
#16 Model Relationship
She tried to make out with my best friend, but he’s gay so it didn’t work out. She broke up with me when she got her modeling contract in NYC. My mom said that our relationship didn’t count because we were only together for two months, but my dad was like, “Wrong, my son dated a model.”
#17 Re-Writing History
He told me he was writing a book about himself viewed through the lens of women that he’d been intimate with. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was a big red flag that spelled “NARCISSIST.” He thought of other people, particularly women, as a cast of characters in his life.
He also insisted he was a devout Christian but said several things that implied that he thought God was more like his peer. I’m not religious myself, but I’m pretty sure I know how that chain of command is supposed to go.
#18 Loneliness Is So Attractive
“I’m not looking for a relationship. I don’t have a lot of friends, and I never talk to my parents.”
She was a very attractive and sweet girl. Life dealt her a series of bad cards and I thought I could help her through it. It never worked out for her and it’s sad that this is all that some people will ever experience. She ended things with me fearing that she would hurt me. I’m not sure how I felt about it at the time, but she probably did me a favor.
Last I talked to her, she was severely depressed and still going through some stuff. I offered her my ear if she ever needed someone to talk to and she contacts me every once in a while.
#19 Still Hung Up
When we moved into our new house together, she hung up her clothes on all of my new, matching clothes hangers and left me with her tangled pile of mismatched oddball hangers.
I almost put all of my stuff back in my car and drove away.
#20 Stupid Pretty
She could barely hold a conversation for more than a sentence or two but wow, was she beautiful. Seriously, one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met, but I still dated her for about ten months. I should clarify— she didn’t have a problem or anything. We met in college. She just had very little useful knowledge of any kind.
I learned a lot about what I value in a relationship from this woman.
#21 Ordering For Two
When he tried to tell me what I could order at dinner.
#22 Hacking Into The Past
She had her brother hack my PC, email and social media accounts to dig up correspondences I’ve had with girls before I had even met her.
#23 Multiple Sides
She’s got borderline personality disorder. She’s a good person but can’t handle any kind of mild, normal life stress. She explodes into fits of pure white-hot rage at the drop of a hat. I take a deep breath before opening the door when coming home from work, not knowing which version of her is waiting inside. It’s gotten worse over the years and she refuses to recognize that she has any issues. It’s always everyone else.
Just get out, you say? Sure, but I will not abandon my kids to this woman without me there to protect them. They need me. My life is over. I live for them.
#24 Following On FaceTime
My favorite is how he would make me FaceTime him on my drive home from his house to make sure I didn’t go anywhere else. I wouldn’t hold it up and look at him; instead, I would just lay it on my passenger seat. He wouldn’t let me hang up until I walked into my bedroom and proved I was alone.
#25 No New Knowledge
She just seemed to have no understanding of why I read non-fiction books or watched documentaries. I was considering getting into a relationship with her and I even met her parents and all; but eventually, it dawned on me that she had absolutely no interest in learning about the world or how it worked outside of her own life.
The physical chemistry was electric though…
#26 In Another Life
On our second date, she told me we were soulmates and that we were lovers from a past life. She vividly described our living arrangements in a barn on the German countryside.
#27 Milking It
I helped her get rid of a fully curdled glass bottle of milk that was just hanging out in her bathroom. It was a pretty good indication her family had a hoarding problem. That, and all of the garbage that was everywhere in their house.
#28 Tragically Traditional
He was very old fashioned. I’m talking, “SERVE me dinner after you cook all of it, do the dishes, and sleep with me every night, regardless of if you have a fever or had a rough day.” After we broke up, I contacted him because he had my vintage crock pot that belonged to my grandma, who had recently passed away. I said that he could just leave it outside and I could get it without bothering him. He never answered me.
He also had this pattern of not being able to stay single. He was in a serious three-year relationship and met someone just a few days later. He started dating someone three days after we broke up. From what I know, he’s still the same way.
#29 Stuck On Steroids
He took six supplements and protein shakes a day, casein before bed, and argued that there are legitimate reasons to use steroids. He also was a Leo and advocated that ghetto areas of the town should essentially be labor camps. But that opinion came out way later into the relationship.
#30 Drunk And Disorderly
After dinner on our second date, she asked me to go to an adult club with her. That wasn’t the red flag though, mind you, if you’ve ever been to an adult club with a hot girl, you know how much fun that can be. The red flag was while we were at the adult club, she got belligerently tipsy, and at one point accused me of taking money from her purse.
She texted me the next morning apologizing for her behavior and admitting that she shouldn’t have acted up, so I chalked it up to a one-time thing. Unfortunately, it became a pattern: get too tipsy, pick a fight with me over something non-existent, then apologize the next day.
#31 Taking Note
While cleaning our apartment, I found a notebook under our bed. I didn’t know what it was, but I took a quick peek. The first and only page I opened to was a hand-written mantra about how physical intimacy should be used as a device for control in a relationship, complete with scenarios and dialogue.
We didn’t last long after that. The relationship had a lot of problems. But instead of just ending it (she was weapons-grade hot and I was dumb in love for the first time), I instead slowly shut down over time until the relationship dissolved.
I used to despise the guy she started dating right after me. They married just a year after. Many years of maturing and gaining wisdom later, I just pity him.
#32 Gotta Have Faith
She was dumb as a rock. One time we were crossing the street at a crosswalk on a busy road and I told her, “It’s okay, we have the right of way, we’re pedestrians.”
Her response? “Actually I’m Methodist.”
I wish I was lying.
#33 Abducted Angel
He called me an angel and said that he wanted to lock me away in order to keep me pure. He didn’t want me to go outside and told me that I should stay away from everyone but him because they’re all out to get me.
#34 Raging Over Ranch
She showed up 45 minutes late to our first date. She was also tipsy out of her mind. Then, she made a scene in the restaurant about them not having any ranch dip for her fries.
She proceeded to pull a ranch packet out of her purse.
#35 Serious Relationship
She didn’t like jokes. She took everything seriously.
#36 Cold Blooded Breakup
She told me that she was unable to live with anyone but herself, and any relationship we had would end in her breaking my heart. We dated for four years, and in that time, she fulfilled every warning that she had been warning me about. She eventually did break my heart. She chose to break up with me the moment I returned home after being with my dad who just had his bladder removed due to cancer.
Her: “How’s your dad?”
Me: “Exhausted and terrified. I hope he has the strength to live a few more years.”
Her: “Good. So this relationship no longer works for me, you have seven days to move out. I told you that I’d break your heart one day.”
#37 Pet Cemetery
After seeing this woman for three to four weeks, she told me her home didn’t feel right for the first year she lived there. Then suddenly, it dawned on her that it was because she didn’t have her dead cats buried there. She dug them up at her old house and put them in her new back yard.
#38 Prior Engagement
Turns out, her relationship with her ex was horrible because he was working overtime to make money to buy a ring. She got engaged and just stopped talking to me.
Also, all of our mutual friends told me not to get involved with her. She was able to convince me that they all hated me. It wasn’t until a couple of months after I stopped talking to her and confronted an old friend that found out the truth. They didn’t hate me. They left me alone because she had told them I hated them.
#39 Group Dates
My ex literally dragged me and seven OTHER DUDES to the movies together.
They were all her “friends” and we all wanted to see the same movie, so why not? Well, I only wanted to see this movie because she wanted to. The dude I was sitting next to didn’t even know what movie we came to see. The dude beside him knew the name but not any of the plot or actors or anything. I thought this was fishy but eh, whatever.
She would constantly have different dudes stay the night at her house when I wasn’t there because “they were too tipsy and couldn’t drive,” or “they visited too long and live too far away to drive so late.” Or my favorite: “He’s too sad to be at home right now.” I just let it all slide under my radar because I’m a moron.
No surprise to you, she was sleeping with like, every dude in town it seemed.
On the bright side, the dude sitting next to me at that movie ended up being my best friend later on, so it’s kind of a win.
#40 Walking On Eggshells
She always overreacted and blew up whenever something bad happened.
We used to get in fights and I would have to walk on eggshells, basically groveling just to try and calm her down.
Finally, we got in a pretty bad fight and I started groveling again. With the advice of some friends, I saw how pathetic I was being. I sent her a message explaining why I was so hurt, and that it was the last she was ever going to hear from me. I then blocked her number.
I haven’t talked to her since. I’m still trying to find my self-worth. It’s a process, but I feel more secure in myself than I have in a long time, and that’s enough to keep me moving forward.
#41 Weighed Down
He broke up with me at ten months because he didn’t love me “anymore.” Six weeks later, he wanted me back. I was still in love with him, so I took him back. Eighteen months later, he still hadn’t told me he loved me again, even though we lived together for a year. Things went okay for a while after that, but then I developed PCOS with really intense insulin resistance and gained 30 kg or so.
All of a sudden, we stopped being intimate. It used to be five times a week or more, but it dropped down to once every few weeks. For ten months of our relationship, we didn’t get intimate with each other at all. He wasn’t affectionate in the slightest and would only kiss or hug me if I initiated. It continued for a long time, almost every night, even though I’d told him it was really bothering me. He’d just ignore me and act like I was the one who did something wrong.
After four years, I left him. As much as I miss the great friendship we had (which was pretty much all it was by the end), I’m so much happier. Everyone around me has commented on how much better I seem. I made a really, really difficult decision, but it was the best one.
#42 Abusive Break Downs
I had an ex who would constantly do some weird stuff like drive to one of three different graveyards at night. Depending on if we argued, she’d stay there until I found her. It got really emotionally and physically draining and I also lost two jobs because of this. When the relationship got real salty, she got super plastered and told me I could find other girls. I politely declined and told her that I had no intentions of doing that to someone I loved and that she was, in my opinion, the most beautiful girl.
Fast forward two years, she told me I was constantly gaslighting her. Everything was my fault and apparently, I never loved her.
Looking back? I wouldn’t do it again, the girl was a 10/10 but quite literally ruined my brain and developed the most ridiculous trust issues towards everyone. I got blamed for it all but luckily the girl I’m with now is a bit more understanding and doesn’t do the same toward me.
#43 In Too Deep
My ex got mad at me at a friend’s pool party and made me leave with him (for a two-hour drive). The next day, he told me he’d been so mad he wanted to drown me in the pool. I dated him another year and a half before we broke up.
#44 Dead Serious
She was in school to be a mortician, which I found strange initially… but when we got intimate with each other for the first time, she insisted that I didn’t move or talk. Like I was dead. I was okay for the first few time,s but she got like, super angry if I would break character. Yikes!
#45 It’s The Little Things
“Why would I put away my shopping cart? People get paid for that.”
*Proceeds to leave it in the middle of a parking spot.*
I ended up putting it away myself anyway, but my goodness.