People Share The Most Ridiculous Reason They’ve Been Dumped

Love is a fickle thing. One day, your relationship is amazing and you feel like you’re on top of the world with your partner, ready to conquer anything; then the next day, everything comes crashing down and you get dumped for reasons you don’t even understand. Here are the most ridiculous reasons people have been dumped by their partners:

#1 That’s Just the Way It Is

I was 15. He was 22. It was a primarily online relationship but we didn’t live far from each other and we planned to meet. I genuinely thought I loved him for a time, but our conversations were either naughty or him saying sad stuff about himself and me reassuring him all the time. It was emotionally exhausting and I was already suffering from my own depression.

Then, I found out a boy my own age, who went to my school, who I’d had a crush on for literally years, might like me and I started talking to him. I didn’t even have confirmation that he liked me (it was literally just my friends saying they catch him looking at me sometimes), we were purely friendly at this point, but talking to him was always pleasant and fun and made me feel good.

When I realized that my heart sank every time I saw my boyfriend was online, meaning I’d have to talk to him and listen to him call himself names and stuff. I knew I had to end it. But beyond that, I didn’t want to cheat on him and start building something new with this other dude while still being with him. So I told him. And I was honest and said that I wanted to take a chance with this other guy my own age. I don’t really feel bad about it either. What else could I have done? Stay in a depressing emotionally draining relationship? Stay with him but cheat so I could feel happy sometimes? No. I was 15.

12 years later and I’m married to the guy I left him for.

#2 The Frustrating Things

 My friend has been dating this woman for over a year now, and they still won’t call each other girlfriend and boyfriend. But this man is 39 freaking years old! It doesn’t stop with these guys. It’s so weird; you have to sort of slide into a relationship. You can’t just ask someone on an early date: “Do you want to try and see if we can have a relationship?” and then you’re a couple until you break up.

I met a woman from Thailand when I was 23, and she wouldn’t even kiss me before I asked her to be my girlfriend. It seemed awkward at the time, but I actually like it a lot more. To me, it’s idiotic that you share intimate details of your life, and then have to wait months and months to “have the talk.”

#3 Catty Drama

My ex’s cat was named “Ben.” The girl I was dating’s cat was named “Bundles.” One day, I called “Bundles” by the name “Ben” instead. She asked me what I just called her cat. I thought about it and then remembered that was my ex’s cat’s name. I laughed and told her and she was super unimpressed. She broke up with me the next day.

#4 Far From Normal

I was pretty religious, but there was just something that made me uncomfortable being with him that I couldn’t put my finger on. He was one of the first guys I really dated, so I didn’t quite have a grasp on what was normal in a relationship or how to speak up when you’re uncomfortable in a situation, especially when you don’t know why. So I took that feeling I had and processed it as a sign from God that this wasn’t gonna work.

Turns out, locking a girl in your car and refusing to unlock the door until she kisses you is not a thing normal people do. Or when she’s said repeatedly saying how much she hates being tickled, but you still pin her down and “tickle” so hard her ribs are sore. If he wasn’t also religious, I wonder how far it would have been pushed.

#5 Better Off

This is what happened to me and a few Mormon friends of mine. This is a specific story here: a friend of mine was engaged and she told him that God decided that he wasn’t right for her anymore. She told him that they needed to part ways like, days before the wedding that he paid for out of pocket already. Let’s just say it didn’t end on cordial terms, but at least she’s better off now.

#6 Money Over Everything

This has and will always take the cake for me. My college girlfriend’s dad won one million dollars in the state lottery over winter break. She broke up with me over the phone, saying: “Now that I’m rich, I can’t afford to date regular people like you. That’s really the only thing wrong, you’re just regular.” But what she doesn’t realize is large sums of money doesn’t make her “rich,” unless she uses it wisely. Most people who have won the lottery go bankrupt later because they don’t know how to handle large sums of money.

#7 Spoiled Brat

“Dumped” might be extreme, but on a first date, a girl asked me to go buy her popcorn literally as the movie started. So I did, but before I went, I whispered as I was getting up: “You want butter on that?” I brought it back and she said: “Is there butter on this?” I said, “Yes, I asked and you said yeah” and she said, “No, I specifically said no…” I thought she was joking or something, it was like a Seinfeld bit. So I said, “Well, maybe this just isn’t going to work out.” And she said, “I think you’re right. Thanks for nothing.” And she freaking left. But she took my popcorn. She should have thanked me for that.

#8 One Single Word

I was dating a guy whose parents didn’t like me. It was a long-distance relationship, and so we mostly chatted online but also made occasional phone calls. So we were talking on the phone, and at one point I said, “You shouldn’t have to choose between me and your parents…” The conversation continued and we decided to break up. We stayed friends.

Something like 10 years later, we were talking online when the subject of our break up came up. Turns out, he thought I had said, “You should have to choose between me and your parents…” and decided that he wasn’t going to do that. I would never give someone that kind of ultimatum, that would be ridiculous. It blew my mind that a single misheard word caused us to break up, and we didn’t realize it for 10 years.

#9 Regretful Miscommunication

I was dating a girl in college. After a month or so, I told her that I loved hanging out. We were out somewhere and she looked at me funny, but  I smiled and we carried on with the date. Not long after, she suddenly had issues meeting up and I eventually heard through a friend of hers that she didn’t think it’ll work out. I decided not to pursue the issue even though I thought things were going great. Roll on six odd years later and we bumped into each other. One long conversation later and it turns out she thought I had said I loved her and she thought it was all too soon. So all of that could have been averted if we had a conversation about, it but nevermind.

#10 Two-Way Street

Not me, but one of my friends who’s a senior in high school got dumped by her boyfriend who she dated for almost two years. He dumped her because he didn’t want to go to the school dance. A few days later, he texted her to tell her that he wanted to get back together but she declined. He could have just told her that he didn’t want to go and still be with her or just go to the stupid dance.

#11 The Evil Twin

A woman I dated before I met my wife had a fraternal twin brother. Early in our relationship, she took a weekend trip to go visit him and his girlfriend. The day before she left, things were great. The next Monday when she came back, she broke up with me. She said her twin brother convinced her that I wasn’t right for her even though he never met me. I was hurt and angry at first but then realized that if she is letting her twin brother control her relationships to this extent, then I probably dodged a bullet and a lot of grief. I met my future wife a few months later so it all worked out.

#12 Left Hanging

The guy I was dating broke up with me because he had family problems. I was all like, “I’m so sorry. I’m here if you need me.” Two days later, I find out he lied and asked out one of my best friends. She said yes. About a week later, I asked him why he dumped me and he left me hanging. I just thought that was so shady of both of them. It would have been a difficult conversation but I think if he just talked to me about it I would have been okay.

#13 Revenge Body

She wanted to pity date a guy to not hurt his feelings, even though we were already together and exclusive. This was temporarily before she had let him down kindly. Spoiler alert, it just ended in two ticked off guys and a sad girl. She spent a week apologizing to me but I didn’t give her the time of day. After that, I started working out, and I’m already in decent shape, but I lost 10 pounds and decreased my body fat percent from 16% to 13%. The goal, in this quarantine, is 10%, and I’m getting there!

#14 Out Of My Hands

I dated a chick in my early twenties. We partied a lot at the time. One night, I refused to get into her car and go for the drive home since we were obliterated. She got upset and said screw you, I’ll be fine on my own. I received a call from her 36 hours later—she’d been bailed out of jail already. “You are a freaking jerk, it’s your fault I went to jail, I am breaking up with you.” I hung up and giggled.

#15 A Total Hypocrite

On the surface, it sounded okay. My girlfriend and I were fizzling out. But when she dumped me, she said it was because I was not religious enough. She wanted to go to church every Sunday and for major religious holidays. I was okay with her going but I was conflicted about religion at the time so I didn’t want to go. So that is what she said when she dumped me. It seems like a decent reason. What made it ridiculous is that about six months later, she was dating the president of the college atheist group.

#16 Get A Clue

Because I wouldn’t drop the restraining order on him. Apparently, me calling the police on him to get him out if my house, putting a restraining order on him because he was trying to end me, and then calling the police on him when he broke the restraining order didn’t mean we were broken up. It took standing in front of a judge to extend my restraining order for him to tell me, “Whatever witch, it’s over.” Because I guess I was just joking with everything else…

#17 Canadian Coffee

Apparently, I gave her too much anxiety when I bought her a “coffee” one morning. I gave her the drink in front of my locker in high school before class started. but I didn’t even buy her a coffee; it was a hot chocolate. Where I’m from in Canada, getting someone a “coffee” can mean just any drink. I got her a hot chocolate because she was a picky eater and didn’t like coffee or tea. But I liked her and wanted to surprise her with a warm drink on that cold day. She broke up with me the same week.

#18 Quick Diversion

Not dumped, but shut down. I asked her out and she sort of freaked out/ “Like… on a date? A date-date?! Oh… I want to say yes, but I can’t. Every time I’ve dated a guy I liked, we ended up hating each other. I want to, but I can’t. So… I know! You’re my gay friend! I can’t date you, because you’re gay! Awesome! I have a gay friend now! Oh, I’m late for class! Bye!” I was like “What…..what the heck just happened?” The other people of our social group were similarly confused.

#19 Not Worth It

My first girlfriend told me once that I loved my dog more than her. I said that I did and she didn’t talk to me for a week, which at the time felt like an eternity. We ended up getting back together for another month. She broke up with me because she found these guys at the flea market who were hitting on her and she gave them my number. They called me to “fight for her” and I said no.

#20 Discriminatory Undertones

I’m not black but I’m olive-complexioned and I get very tan. I was rejected once because I was “too dark.” And then, whenever there’s an online thread like “What unattractive features do you find appealing,” and someone answers “When the girl or guy is pale,” I’m like get out of here. In what universe is being DARK universally acceptable and pale is not?

#21 Young Love

My fifth-grade boyfriend dumped me over Xbox Live. “It wasn’t working out Candice, every time we pushed you wanted to camp, every time we rushed C you went to A, every time we time we called an airstrike you wanted a care package.” And the list goes on and on. It wasn’t meant to be. In his defense, we were both really young and our priorities were definitely not straight.

#22 A Losing Game

I finally grew a spine and started thinking with the big brain upstairs. We got into an argument over trying to initiate intimacy. I was trying to do everything she told me to but I still got blown off, so I showed my frustration. I said, “What do you want me to do? I’m trying to do everything we talked about and you keep pushing me away even more now.”

She said, “You are a 25-year-old man, you should just know what I want, how I want it, and when I want it!” So I replied, “Let me get this straight, you want me to just know exactly what you want and exactly when and how to go about it?” She replied, “Yes.” I said, “Babe that’s called reading your mind, and no one in the world can read minds.” I came home from work, at midnight mind you, and was told to pack my stuff and move out. I’m impossible to deal with, apparently.

#23 Picky Eater

This happened when I was 21, and the girl was 22. She was Hispanic, and I’m white. We were in the phase before a relationship, so I guess we were seeing each other? Anyway, we got along great, and to this day, I still think she is just an amazing person with a heart of gold. We were out to eat one night at Applebee’s, and the conversation of food came up.

We discussed our favorite foods, what we didn’t like, etc. She mentioned something about trying new things, specifically things like Rocky Mountain oysters, bull testicles, frog legs, etc. I’m a relatively picky eater, admittedly, so I told her I didn’t think that I could try any of those things. The rest of the night went on just fine, and I didn’t think anything of it.

A couple of nights later, when I was talking to her on the phone, she said she didn’t think we should see each other anymore because she believed that I’m prejudiced against other people’s cultures since I won’t try any of their traditional foods. I was kind of blown away, but she had already made her mind up, so I wasn’t going to stop her. I still keep in touch with her from time to time, even though she now lives 3,000 miles away.

alwaysmyfault

#24 Tattoo Police

One of my exes dumped me on Christmas because I got a matching tattoo with my sister on my shoulder. He told me that he thought girls with tattoos in that spot are “trashy.” It was my second tattoo. He bought me my first. It was ON MY LOWER BACK. Turns out, this was just another manipulative tactic to control me. He dumped me a few other times for asinine reasons before I finally left.

#25 Holding Me Back

My ex wanted me to drop out of my Master’s program six months before graduation so I could work at Walmart for the rest of my life. And it hurt his feelings that I had a higher degree than him. So because he was being ridiculous, I had no choice but to dump him. Couples should want to help each other move forward in life and always be there for support and whatnot. What a jerk.

#26 No Support

“You didn’t help me or support me with anything.” I spent most of my time doing her job on the horse farm and doing extra work on top of that so she could focus on competitive riding. Jokes on her. My significant other is so much freaking better than her. All I regret is the time I wasted trying to make her life better.

#27 Personal Vengeance

My kindergarten boyfriend dumped me for another girl I lost a footrace to on the playground. I’ve always been super competitive so I never forgot. I moved to a neighboring school district in elementary school and by high school, I became a pretty decent runner. I eventually competed against and beat this girl at a track meet. There has never been sweeter revenge. 100% she had no clue, but it didn’t matter to me.

#28 Turning Tables

I told him I didn’t like Star Wars. He was really into it. And by that, I mean he watches the movies very often and has every single one of the pop figure things related to Star Wars. Around the fifth time of watching a movie with him, I couldn’t lie anymore and told him that Star Wars wasn’t my thing. I asked if we could watch something else.

He freaked out and I ended up walking home because he was starting to throw things. In hindsight, him throwing things over me not liking something he did was probably a hint that he wasn’t a great guy. He’s now in the army and dating someone whos underage. Oh, how the tables turn.

#29 Give Me Your Hand

I didn’t hold her hand in the car at night during a storm on the way to dinner. I had also never been to the area and was unfamiliar with it. On that night, she did me a favor by breaking it off. What a nut. I was going to end it the next day because of that being an issue, but she beat me to it. Obviously we had some other issues, but that ultimately was the argument that ended things.

#30 Conflicting Personalities

We were both 25. Apparently, I was too serious for my age. I was just doing my undergrad, reading and cracking cold ones with the fellas on the weekends. She was more of a party-girl, worked as a bartender and was really into the nightlife. I was (and still am) calmer than that; a few drinks and good conversation is good enough for me. I’m not really an ”in the club” person.

Looking back, I’m pretty sure what she wanted to say was: ”You’re too boring for me” or ”We’re too different.” But she ended up saying I was too serious. It did sting a bit and had me reflect on how I behave around people. Am I too negative or reserved? Stuff like that. While we had different interests, those differences did give us a lot to talk about. I liked her relaxed perspective on things.

#31 Not The One

In high school. I’m missing my left index finger, and we were holding hands while walking through the halls between classes. She abruptly let go of my hand and said that it was just too weird, and the relationship wasn’t going to work out. We’d been dating for like four hours at that point. It hurt at first, but it made me realize she wasn’t the one for me. The one for me would accept me no matter how many fingers I have.

#32 Makes No Sense

I couldn’t find the right pair of stockings he liked, solely for his interest in ripping them during our moments of intimacy. When I told him to purchase a pair he liked, he dumped me, claiming I wanted a sugar daddy and not a boyfriend.  This ties in with the time a girl dumped me because she thought I was spending too much time with “that guy.” It was my brother. Who she had met.

#33 Lessons Learned

No reason at all. He decided to move to Australia for a while (if that was even true) and our last conversation was me telling him something like “Have a safe flight, message me when you have Wi-Fi.” He said okay. It’s been seven years and I never got that message. Maybe it’s for the better. The ghosting hurt, but it made me realize what’s important in a partner.

#34 No Longer Interested

Some context: This was an online sort of thing, through Xbox Live. I’d met him on an FPS game, saying he needed help getting through some enemy waves around him. So, I joined the party and soon enough, we began going out by two to three months. This soon turned into a year and a half long-distance relationship. Now the main story: I hadn’t been online for like two weeks, and when I finally went on, I was once again invited to a party. He gave me some bad news: “I’m gay now, so I don’t like you like that anymore…” etc. He already had a boyfriend! Well, that’s all.

#35 Not Out Of Line

My college boyfriend was exposed to swine flu. Being immunocompromised, I requested that we not see each other in person for a few days. He got super upset at me and it precipitated our breakup (which was imminent, honestly, but this moved things along). Now, swine flu didn’t amount to much in America, and he insistently mocked me for it for years, calling me crazy (we tried to stay friends for a while afterward, but there was bitterness). And yes, I was overly cautious in retrospect. But in light of all the stuff going on now, I don’t think I was that out of line.

#36 A Menial Argument

About a year into our relationship, my girlfriend sends me a picture of her brother making a weird face. I tell her that he looks like a baby about to vomit. She tells me that when a baby pukes, it’s called spit-up, not vomit. At the time we were just playing around, but it escalated. We didn’t break up, but we didn’t see each other for a few weeks. All because we disagreed on what to call baby puke.

#37 That’s Ageist

We had been dating about a month and were carded at a bar. She looked at my ID and saw I was almost two months younger than her. She was mortified and said she doesn’t date younger guys because of how immature they are. We went out one more time and that was it. Jokes on her. I’m WAY older now and still immature!

#38 Talk About Ungrateful

A girl once asked me if I wanted to go out to eat. She did so in person. She saw that I was wearing my nursing scrubs from school. I told her a had a gift card from Chili’s that we could use. She drove us there. When we got there, she started going ballistic on me about what I chose to wear for the date. She said I could have gone home and changed first.

She then said it was really cheap to use a gift card on a date. She walked out of the restaurant. So did I. She got in her car and left me. As I walked down the road, she drove up beside me and yelled, “Get in this car!” I refused. I walked for two hours back to my truck. I never talked to her again. She lived in my neighborhood.

#39 What Could Have Been

We had been seeing each other for six months. I told him I wanted a commitment, and he told me I was asking for too much and that he “wasn’t ready to be in an actual relationship.” It broke my heart. I really liked him, we never fought and he treated me well. I never thought of us as anything less than a couple. At least there wasn’t any significant drama involved, though I still dwell on what could have been.

#40 Virtual Love

I bought my girlfriend one of the World of Warcraft expansion packs for her birthday. She started playing again—like she really got into it—and I hardly saw her. She’d play all night and would come to bed as I was getting up. To be clear, that made me want to dump her. But, what ended up happening was she started playing with her ex and it apparently rekindled their feelings for each other, because she dumped me after a couple of weeks of this and got back with him. But, by that time he had moved away, so their relationship was entirely limited to questing. They soon broke up again after like a month of this. At the time it was horrible, but now I can’t help but laugh.

#41 Just Text Me

At 16 years old, my then-girlfriend was mad my parents wouldn’t let me go over her house anytime I wanted. She even went on Myspace and messaged my mom to tell her how I am old enough to make my own decisions. Because of all this, I couldn’t “be there for her.” Mind you, we went to the same school, and we had computers and texting. This was in 2007-ish. So if my 16-year-old self couldn’t hang out every day or weekend, my bad. She later cheated on me and then broke up with me!

#42 The Real Reason

She didn’t have one. After three years of dating, she couldn’t even muster up a reason at the time of dumping me. Turns out, there was a reason. I found out two months later after I was just starting to move on that she cheated on me with a random person on a night out. I had no idea that random person was someone I thought I was friends with.

#43 Unshakeable Rumors

My best friend had a crush on me, so he told my boyfriend lies about me to get him to break up with me. Then, my best friend continued to explain to me that my boyfriend was cheating on me with other girls and a few days later, he asked me out, to which I rejected him after my boyfriend and I talked it out. I found out he lied to everyone including friends just so he can ask me out. So, in essence, the stupidest reason why I was dumped was because of rumors.

#44 A Boring Rollercoaster

Back in high school, a female friend asked if I wanted to start dating immediately before school ended for the day. I said yeah. Immediately upon returning to school the following morning, she broke up with me. I said okay. I don’t know why she asked me out and I don’t know why she dumped me. It was a short, boring rollercoaster.

#45 Spilling Nerds

I mean, he dumped me for a ton of bad reasons that he felt the need to tell me about later, but technically, the immediate cause was candy. I got candy for cheap from my work and often brought it to his place. He knocked over a jumbo box of Nerds that scattered all over his floor. He started shaking with rage. I thought he was joking as I grabbed a broom to clean them up, and he just started screaming and dumped me. In retrospect, I’m freaking glad he did.

#46 The Moaner

I called it off with a guy because on our first date, we kissed but he was a loud kisser. Like… moans and all. He asked me to be honest because we got along really well. I told him it was just something that I couldn’t handle. He was a comedy writer on a TV show, so I kind of laughed and said he could use it on the show. It totally reminded me of something Seinfeld. I laughed so much. We don’t talk. We didn’t ever talk after that.

#47 Way Too Soon

I quit a customer service job that I was miserable at. I was making $11 an hour there, but I got a job at Taco Bell the same week making $10 an hour with more flexibility and hours. Still, I was told that I wasn’t thinking in the long-term or considering an actual career that I could have to start a family with her. We were 20 and 21, and we had been dating for three whole months. I’d say that’s a little too early to bring up stuff like that.

#48 True Story

A girl I was dating randomly showed me a notebook which had the picture of a hot shirtless guy playing basketball on the front (he was jumping up for a slam dunk)… and his abs could be seen. She said to me: “Do you have abs like these?” I pulled up my shirt to show her and she said, “I can’t date someone without abs like these.” We broke up after that. True story.

#49 Outward Impressions

I dated a girl from the town next over for a bit in high school. She told me that some guys from her school saw me driving my truck with the window down and my arm hanging out “trying to look all cool.” They were making fun of me. She was friends with those guys and figured that was a good enough reason to not want to be seen with me anymore.

#50 Greek Tragedy

It hardly counts as being “dumped” but I was recently unmatched on a dating site when a girl with a graduate degree in Greek and Roman mythology. She asked what Greek mythos I liked and I mentioned Phanes from the Orphic creation myth. She started going on about how Phanes was a prototype for patriarchy because most of the rest of the world has female creation mythos and not male. When I pointed out that Phanes is hermaphroditic and neither male or female, poof—we were unmatched. People are weird with their dating litmus tests.

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