People Reveal The Secret They Learned About Their S.O. That Made Them Rethink Everything

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When you’re in a serious relationship with someone, married or otherwise, one of the core bonding elements is trust. You have to trust that they are honest with you about who they are, what they do, and how they think. That’s why finding out a secret that they have, regardless of whether or not they meant it to be a secret, feels like a betrayal. Some secrets are innocent, but others are quite serious, and may leave a person wondering if they even know who they fell in love with in the first place.

These internet users share all kinds of secrets they learned about their partner, and they range from gushy, positive things to downright disgusting behavior. Some might even leave you wondering if your own partner is hiding something from you.

#1 Living A True Double Life

One weekend, we were supposed to go out on a date and he stood me up. I couldn’t get a hold of him at all. I was freaking out, thinking he was in a ditch somewhere!

It turned out, he had gotten married over the weekend to the girl who had given birth to his child. I never knew about her.

Faeula

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#2 A Dirty Past Will Come Up Sooner Or Later

A year in, I found out she lied to me about getting an STD test. It turned out she had more than one STD, which somehow I tested clean for.
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#3 The Matter Of Credit

Her terrible credit score.

I guess I never had a reason to ask until it came time to buy our home.

Guess who’s name the house is in?

lapekes

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#4 A Pathological Liar Or Utterly Delusional

She would lie about tiny, inconsequential things. It made me question my own perception of truth and self-instinct. Eventually, I caught her in a lie, and she denied it even when presented with full proof. It wasn’t something huge, but it was something that opened my eyes a little.

deruvoo

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#5 When His Plans Take A 180 Degree Turn

Out of nowhere, after a year of being married, he said he wanted to join the Marine Corp. He also wanted me to drop out of law school, birth his babies, take care of his mother, and a run a household all while he was deployed. Hard pass.

superslakher

| Humaverse

#6 A Secret Son

About one year in, he told me he was about to get full custody of his son. I didn’t know he had a son.

#7 This Guy Is The Ultimate Manipulator And Creep

I found a hidden folder on his phone. He blackmailed girls for their nudes and also stole nudes from others. He pretended to be someone else and sent dirty messages to them. He constantly made me feel like I was crazy or overreacting.

#8 How A Person Treats People On The Road Says A Lot About Them

We were driving home from dinner separately. Without knowing it, she cut me off by merging into my lane last minute without using a blinker. I was annoyed at first, but when I recognized it was her car, it made me feel very strange.

#9 He’s The Kind Of Guy Who Was In Musicals

My wife and I both love musicals. Whenever we’re in NYC, we catch a Broadway show. If a good show tours to our city, we catch it. On one date, I offhandedly told a story about when I performed the Wizard of Oz in high-school and she froze, with her eyes wide. “You performed in musicals?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Oh, I had no idea. This will take me a while to process.”
She was pretty quiet for about 20 minutes. Then she said, “Okay. That’s fine, I just never knew I was dating a guy who was in musicals.”

Never figured out why it threw her so much, but that was that and it never bothered her again.

Weed_O_Whirler

#10 A Pile Of Lies

He lied about where he went to undergrad. I suspected it while the relationship was still going on, but after he moved out, I found some of the stuff he left that included transcripts from a different university. It wasn’t even in the same country. I’m fairly sure most of the stories he told about his childhood were lies.

#11 Sealing The Deal About Having Kids

I’ve always wanted kids but I’m nervous about the idea. Like… when do I do it? What if I’m bad at it? Will I miss my freedom?

Three years into my relationship with my fiancé, we were at a cookout and there was a little girl there. He was running around playing with her, being goofy, playing tag, and he was just so, so good with her. It occurred to me I had never seen him interact with a child before. He lit up in such an amazing way and that’s when I realized I absolutely want to have kids with this guy.

Esosorum

#12 Managing Mental Illness Is A Necessity

She just recently got diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. It made me look back and realize that a lot of her actions and anger stemmed from that. She just started on mood stabilizers and has found a great therapist to help her work through everything, but it would have almost been a deal breaker if she didn’t try to actively manage it.

Austin_RC246

#13 His Wife Is Smarter Than He Ever Imagined

My wife and I got married quickly without getting to know each other much. She was raised in a Mormon home and I had converted to Mormonism at 18. We played the roles of “provider” and “nurturer” in our marriage according to the teachings of the faith.

I left the faith about six years ago. She stopped attending about two or three years ago. The very difficult conversations we had when I left made us talk about things more than we ever had before. We dove deeply into so many aspects of our life, marriage, and desires for the future.

I realized, after years of marriage, that she was actually an incredibly smart, dynamic woman. I loved her a lot before this. I always thought she was amazing. But because of the dynamics of each of our upbringings, and the dynamic of the faith, I never realized how intelligent she was. I ask her opinion on things all the time now.

We left our faith, ditched most of our baggage from our sexist upbringings, and I realized how great of a lifelong companion I have.

minimallyviablehuman

#14 Suddenly All His Ticks Just Clicked Into Place

He told me from the very get-go that he was diagnosed as Aspergers in grade school, but I just brushed it off because I knew many people who halfheartedly claimed to have Aspergers.
A couple of weeks ago, I was lying in bed while he was putting away one of his pocket watches in his holding box. He was doing it in such a meticulous way. For some reason, it just hit me for the first true time that he is 100% on the spectrum. It made me think back on the times when he had done things that absolutely infuriated me but had no idea he did something wrong. Suddenly, I could see that he wasn’t being manipulative or underhanded in those moments; his brain simply works in a different way than mine, and he even tried to warn me of this. I just chose to disregard the information.

He is always willing to meet me halfway, even when he doesn’t understand why something bothers me. He acknowledges how I feel and he stops doing whatever it is that is bothering me. He is the goofiest, most eccentric ball of love I have ever met, and coming to terms with his Aspergers has made me love him even more.

lostatsea73

#15 Now That’s A Weird Secret To Keep

He was always very secretive and a little paranoid. One example: I learned about 15 years into the relationship that his birthday is not in May like he said, but in November. When he moved to the US from England in the 1970s, they had written it down incorrectly in his passport and he never changed it to his correct birthdate. I still don’t know why.

GorditoCat

#16 Classic Projection

There are a ton of things that I discovered over the years, but the biggest one was how he had lied about his ex-partners. He talked terribly about them and would make them all sound like cheaters. It turns out, that’s not the truth at all. They were none of those things and I found out the hard way that he was the problem all along. We have broken up and gotten back together many times over the past six years, but I eventually ended it for good.

BlondieCakes

#17 He Went From Measured Lover To Hopeless Romantic

He is a hopeless romantic. In the first year of our relationship, he kind of kept me at arm’s length, emotionally. I always felt he had more power in our relationship because I fell in love early and was more clingy, while he seemed more measured and in control of his feelings.

Well, we’ve been married for just over three years now and I’ve discovered he has the heart of a poet. He is far more sappy and romantic than I ever was.

He will make an effusive declaration about how beautiful he finds me or how much he adores me, and it catches me by surprise each time. It still blows me away how much he blossomed and the way he shared with me a side of himself that wasn’t very apparent for a long time. Every time I think of it, I blush a little thinking about how wonderfully silly he is. It further cements my conviction that I am the luckiest woman in the world.

projectedwinner

#18 Old Lies Die Hard

I found out two years into our marriage that he had lied to me about sleeping with other women. I had no expectations for developing a relationship at the time, but I did ask him to be honest with me if he was hooking up with anyone else. I guess he didn’t believe that I wanted honesty, so he never said anything.
He was also indulging in adult beverages excessively. I didn’t see him often enough to realize that. It wasn’t until later on that I saw how much money he was spending on his addiction. We ended up in counseling because I didn’t want to just walk out, but I felt so betrayed to learn all of this so long after I had committed to him.

MrsAnthropy

#19 The “Act” Of Faith

After three years of marriage, she tells me she’s not really a Christian and it never connected for her. A year of soul-searching led her to Judaism, but it took me forever to get over the fact that I never really asked her if she was a Christian and that she played the part for seven years.

Marc-Resay

| Humaverse

#20 Not The Most Husbandly Thing To Do

I learned that he had slept with my sister on the weekend that we had gotten engaged.

It sure would have been nice to find something like that out before the wedding… But nope, a week after my daughter was born, I stumbled on the news.

nottelling9841 

#21 She Never Realized That He’s Lucky To Just Be Alive

My husband and I have been married for nearly a year now. I just found out the other day that when he was born, he had a very low chance of survival and shouldn’t actually be alive today. I had no idea, and it really makes the relationship that much more precious.

HoboTheDinosaur

#22 Her Weird Habit Blew His Mind

She gets in the shower before turning the water on.

Falkaane

| Humaverse

#23 Talk About A Closet 90’s TV Series Fanatic

Shortly after my boyfriend moved in with me, I stayed home sick from work. I normally left before him each morning. I walked in on him ironing his shirt watching Saved by the Bell. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, he went into great detail about his likes and dislikes of the whole series. I also learned that he likes 90210 and Melrose Place. He’s a pretty high profile banking executive. I could not have been more surprised. I decided to keep him.

#24 Swimming Isn’t For Everyone

This didn’t make me reevaluate, but it was an eye opener for sure. We were on a shore excursion during our cruise vacation. We went snorkeling in the Dominican Republic and jumped off the boat into about 20 feet of water. We had fins, masks and snorkel gear on. I snorkeled ages ago and I’m a fairly strong swimmer, so I headed straight to the bottom to look around.

After a few seconds, I realized she was nowhere to be found. I went back up to find her thrashing around like a small blonde bobber in rough seas. She said something about not feeling well because she had accidentally swallowed a bunch of water through the snorkel. I helped her back on the boat and sat her down. She was looking a bit green around the gills but she was okay. She waved me off, telling me to get back in the water. So off I went thinking she’d join me when she felt better. She never got back in.

We returned from our vacation and three weeks later we were kind of rehashing the snorkeling incident. A lightbulb valiantly lit up in my head. After 30 years with her, I never knew she didn’t know how to swim!

bigly_ballz

#25 They Missed Out On Years Of Fandom Together

We were together four years before she told me she was obsessed with Star Wars. Like wow, since day one, we could have been going to midnight shows all dressed up.

ScreamerA440

| Humaverse

#26 One Very Good Reason To Change To An Open Marriage

I found out that he was LGBT. We married late in life. We stopped getting intimate with each other (he had lots of excuses) and my self-esteemed plummeted. I found LGBT videos and chats on his computer. I confronted him and it was confirmed. I found a support group for “Mixed Orientation Marriages” and we now have an open marriage. We both date guys. We’re best friends sharing a home and life together. It’s not how I expected to be living, but most of life is that way.

I’m lucky. Many women find out while the kids are still at home or after 30 years of marriage. We have been married seven years and I’m really open-minded when it comes to stuff like this.

Actually, he’s the lucky one!

phazer08

#27 The Kind Of Love Dreams Are Made Of

We were together for two years and I was going through depression. I thought that no one cared; I only saw the bad in people, including my girlfriend. I was thinking of leaving her.

Later that day, I was in my bed just staring at the ceiling and she came home from work. When I asked her why she wasn’t at the office, she told me that she asked for a day off just to stay with me. She prepared hot chocolate and bought my favorite cookies.

We just sat there, having hot chocolate and cookies and watching Doctor Who.

That day, I understood that she did care, more than anyone else. I decided to marry her.

My depression is mostly gone thanks to her. I am a very lucky man.

Alessio891

#28 The Truth About Unicorns

About 10 years into our 14-year marriage, I found out my wife thought unicorns were once real but now extinct. “You know, like wooly mammoths,” she’d say.

#29 If You’re Judgmental And You Know It, Clap Your Hands

Three years into a relationship, I found out he was incredibly judgemental. Basically, he met my friend’s boyfriend and HATED him based on his first impression of him. I questioned him about it later and it was the first time I realized that he was super judgemental. When I called him on it, he was like, “Yeah, I am. Are you just noticing that now?”

#30 He Was Living Another Life Right Under Her Nose

He took a medical leave of absence from school and never mentioned it to me. We were living together for over a year at that point. He pretended to get up and go to school each day. I never found out where he was actually going.

justnocrazymaker

#31 Selfishness Runs In The Family

I found out that her father, who was a doctor and the sole provider for her family, needed a kidney ten years ago. He had asked her mother and she said no. He died soon later because his wife turned her back on him. This was all explained to me as though there was nothing wrong with the story.

And then, all of the arguing about things that she didn’t understand, and all of her selfish moments, reached a moment of perfect clarity, and I decided that I had to get out of there.

BlueKnightBrownHorse

#32 Not The Job He Thought She Had

The club she claimed to be a bartender at was actually a gentleman’s club that she danced at. Sadly, I found out through a friend. Super embarrassing when you find out through a friend that your girlfriend is an adult dancer.

hatethiscity

| Humaverse

#33 The Humanitarian Of The Year

Those brown paper bags that she has in the backseat all the time? Yeah, those are little care packages she gives to homeless people. I totally melted and married her as fast as possible after I found out.

ArnenLocke

#34 A Serious Case Of Road Rage

My boyfriend got cut off on the road by another car. After that, he proceeded to cut her off. She then went to the right lane and we could see her eye to eye. He threw a cup right into her window, sped past, and laughed. I was shook.

Honestly, he always had anger issues and he promised to me that he wouldn’t have road rage like that ever again, but it really changed the way I saw him.

Prettymuchshan

#35 Not One But Eight Secret Children

This happened to my mom. A few years into their marriage, my dad said he needed to tell her something. He told her that she needed to promise not to get mad, which obviously made her mad. He proceeded to tell her he has eight children back in his home country, the youngest of which is just one year older than me. My mom said she just didn’t know what to feel anymore. Needless to say, the marriage didn’t work out. He cheated on her repeatedly throughout the entire time they were together.

DiscombobulatedTae

#36 So Much For All That Science In Her Life

She doesn’t believe in evolution even though she has two science-based degrees and is working on a third.

Atheist101

#37 He’s Too Close To Mommy

He’s a massive momma’s boy, in an unhealthy and weird way. Too much has happened to really get specific, but it has ranged from her inviting him to a “sunset dinner on the beach,” to her adjusting his t-shirt in public. He’s 22 and hasn’t lived at home for over six months at this point. He refuses to see it, and she can do no wrong in his eyes. If I say anything at all, I’m accusing him of being in love with his mother. Frankly, I’m still trying to decide if I want to be with him anymore.

FormaldehydeX

#38 For The Love Of Pets

My husband is serious about never wanting pets.

But he cuddles with everyone else’s so I’m still hoping.

domesticatedfire

#39 Not The Man She Thought He Was, Literally

Six years after I married who I thought was the man of my dreams, I found out he was a transgender woman. I tried to make it work; we even have a kid. But ultimately I’m straight, so it didn’t work out.

ayriana

#40 The Hairy Truth Comes Out At Long Last

My wife and I have very little boundaries. Often, while we’re having a conversation in our room, if one of us needs to use the bathroom we’ll just follow each other and continue talking. If the conversation is good enough, even going #2 won’t hinder our dialogue. However, there are times when my wife is in the bathroom and locks the door. I always thought it was weird, but it didn’t bother me.

We’ve been married for nine years now. We’ve grown up together. Graduated together. Traveled together. We know each other so well and have nothing to hide from one another. Or so I thought.

This all changed one day. I was feeding our kids’ lunch and she was in the bathroom. Unbeknownst to her, she did not lock the door. When I walked in on her, I witnessed something that I never thought I would see. Something that lived in the back of my head, but I didn’t think it could be real…

She was shaving her upper lip. She is Puerto Rican and has a little peach fuzz that you can’t even really notice, but she was shaving it like it was a full on mustache! She looked at me with this embarrassed look and I thought to myself… “What else is she hiding?”

I don’t know that I’ll ever look at her the same again.

Kaito_Scythe

#41 With Values Like Those, It’s No Wonder He Hid Them

When I had my first child, the pregnancy wasn’t a surprise or an accident. We talked about it and planned it out. He got a little overbearing during the pregnancy, like insisting on breastfeeding without even discussing it with me. I chalked it up to new dad nerves, not knowing any better.

But that was only the tip of the iceberg. He believed that children were completely and totally a wife’s responsibility. He wouldn’t change a diaper. He wouldn’t pick up the baby when it cried. He wouldn’t get up in the middle of the night. He expected me to work a full-time job, plus do all the parenting.

At that point, I was confused and appalled but I told myself he just needed time to adjust.

I realized how delusional I was when the baby got sick while he was on a fishing trip. The doctors thought the baby had meningitis. I called and asked him to come home. He refused. He’d paid for two more days of fishing. He didn’t want to lose the money.

rusty0123

#42 An Unlikely Skill Set

I found out that my heavy-metal-loving, dry, sarcastic, funny, trendy, skateboarding, tradie 35-year-old boyfriend knows how to BUILD AND SAIL YACHTS!

It’s just so totally the opposite of what you would imagine he’d be into when you look at him.

I didn’t really re-evaluate much but I did ask myself, do I really know him at all?

sharkieclarkie

#43 She’s Not Much For Change

Two years in and I’m learning that she wants to live in our hometown indefinitely.

#44 The Feeling Isn’t Grief But Relief

I discovered 20 years into my first marriage with two children that my wife and I had something in common. We both prefer women. Turns out, she had been having affairs with other women since the beginning. Funny thing is, when I finally caught her, the overwhelming emotion was one of relief. I had been killing myself to fix a relationship that could never be fixed.

#45 Now She Knows Why The Bathroom Always Smells So Bad

My boyfriend throws his used toilet paper into the trash can, not the toilet.

yodelingmaster

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