Ladies Share How A Man Ruined Their Chances With Them
The dating scene is a minefield. Sometimes, it’s incredibly fun, while at other times, it’s a complete disaster. Dating for women, in particular, comes with a plethora of obstacles and challenges. Everyone looks for something different in a partner. It often takes a while to get to know someone and determine whether or not they’re the right match for you.
However, occasionally, you come across someone who does or says something so alarming that you’re immediately certain that person is not the one for you. It may be within a few seconds of meeting him, or after a few dates—either way, when you know, you know. Just take it from these women, who recently shared stories about how a man ruined their chances with them.
#1 Interested In Intellect
The first red flag was how antsy he was to get me on the phone. He was so antsy I almost didn’t call him. The deal breaker for me was when he said: “You’re not like most women, you can actually understand the complex subjects that I like to talk about. Most women are too vapid and dull to compete with my intellect.” Barf. Gentleman, if you have to state that you possess an above average intellect, you don’t.
#2 A Wrinkle In Time
He told me that I’d look like I was 13, if not for my wrinkles. He managed to insult me for looking too young and too old at the same time. I’m 24, for reference. When I looked offended, he said, “Oh! Don’t worry, I like that you kind of look like you’re 13!”
#3 Condescending Conversation
I went on a date with a guy and every time I would ask about details of his job or education, he would say things like, “Let me see how I can dumb it down for you…” or “I’m sure you won’t understand any of this, but…” I was so offended. That’s not even the worst part, though. When the check came, I whipped my wallet out to pay for the bill, just be done with it, and he said, “Oh no, I’m sure I make more than you do, don’t worry.”
#4 Whacko At Work
One time, a creepy guy got a hold of my number while I was at work. He said he was new to the area and that we had interests in common. He immediately started texting me about how he knew I would be a great girlfriend and how he couldn’t wait for me to meet his family. He knew that I walked to work because he had seen me once, and one day he texted something like, “I can’t believe you haven’t been assaulted yet. Your dad must have really protected you.” I had to very firmly tell him that I wasn’t interested and luckily he never tried to bother me again.
#5 Seeing Clearly
I went out once with someone who brought a pair of glasses to our first date and asked if I would wear them for the entirety of our relationship. He already knew I didn’t wear glasses, so he had gone ahead and put in fake lenses for me. When I asked why, he said, “I always imagined myself marrying someone who wore glasses.” Also, he told me that he found the glasses on the floor at the movie theatre. Lucky me!
#40 A Romantic Getaway
He picked me up in a stolen car and we got pulled over by two cops who recognized the plates. I explained that it was our first date and they let my mom pick me up. The full story: I was 16 when I met the guy at school. He asked me out on a date and we decided to go out for dinner and a movie. So we’re driving to the Olive Garden and this officer pulls us into the parking lot of the Red Lobster that’s next to it. A cop comes up to us and he asks for the guy’s license and registration.
After ten minutes, another cop car pulls up, so now there are four guys in total. We’re there for maybe an hour. The first cop explains that the plates match a car reported missing from a local lot and that the deed to the car had someone else’s name on it. Another cop asked me to step out and I told him it was our first date. I made it clear that we went to high-school together and that I really didn’t know him all that well. He let me show him some of the texts from my phone between us and I called my mom who corroborated my story. The guy’s dad was a pastor of the local megachurch, so they let him off easy.
#7 Just Winging It
I met a guy at a wing restaurant after I got off of work. For the majority of the time that we were there, he talked about his ex-wife. After he finished eating, he asked if I wanted to get frozen custard or see a movie. I told him I’d rather watch a movie (due to my dietary restrictions) and, since I didn’t know the area well, I’d just follow him to the theater in my own car. Instead of driving to the theater, he drove to the custard place. He didn’t even mention the movie again. He just ordered himself a big custard.
#8 Problem With Pigeons
He attacked a pigeon. We were acquainted with each other through work and it was our first date. We were in a park, walking along and talking, until suddenly, one of the many pigeons walking around the fountain wandered near us. The guy stopped what he was saying mid-sentence, and then took a running kick at the pigeon. The pigeon was too fast for him and took off, landing just a couple of feet away. The guy took it personally and went running after the pigeon, again, repeatedly trying to kick it. Finally, the pigeon ended the standoff by flying up to a tree. The guy took off his shoe and threw it at the pigeon, which at that point had felt pretty confident in his tree.
The shoe missed, so the guy picked up his shoe, put it back on, and started walking back to me, sulking and swearing under his breath. All of this happened in a matter of minutes. When he first kicked at the pigeon, I said something like, “Leave him alone. What are you doing?” But after the full-on pigeon brawl, I was just in shock. When he came back to me, he was panting and wiping sweat from his forehead, but he acted as if nothing had happened. He started talking about where we should have lunch.
I finally said, “What was that?”
He looked at me like he was really confused, “What?”
“The thing with the pigeon.”
He just shrugged. “I don’t like pigeons.”
#9 Early Planning
For our first date, we went for coffee. He spent the majority of the time telling me how we’d eventually move to a big property and have many kids. He even said that we will try right away for a family as soon as we’re married.
#10 Flexible Arrangements
A boyfriend of a few days told me I should start gymnastics again. I asked why and he responded with, “It’d help you lose weight.” I was 110 pounds.
#11 A Huge McStake
He took me to McDonald’s. That wasn’t the problem, though; it was the way he acted like a jerk to the cashier. He also stopped by his mom’s apartment to have a loud argument with her and his sister, so that was awkward.
Another guy I went out with turned out to be a huge racist.
There was also the guy I met at a bar who told me his plans to get rich by adding music to websites.
#12 Baby And Beer On Board
On our first “date,” he picked me up with his baby in the backseat and he had an open beer in the cupholder.
#13 Horsing Around
We were chatting and he seemed cool until he said: “I’m basically the real-life version of BoJack Horseman.” He then could not comprehend why that was not an attractive comparison, even after boasting that he had seen the whole series four times.
#14 A Werewolf Warning
He told me he was 250 years old. He chalked up his longevity to being a werewolf. I laughed it off as I thought he couldn’t be serious. He didn’t think it was funny.
#15 A Biting Response
He bit me. I was talking to him at a bar and he seemed cute, but then he started running his fingers through my hair and moving closer to me even when I backed away. I told him repeatedly to stop touching me, and that it would turn me off if he kept coming on so strong. His friend also noticed and told him to back off. Then, out of nowhere, he just bit me. He was STILL confused when he tried to follow me home and I told him he would not be spending the night with me.
#16 Trashy Boyfriend
He took me back to his place where he hadn’t taken the trash out for weeks. The whole place smelled like actual garbage. I got out of there as fast as possible and still associate the strong smell of garbage with him, twelve years later.
#17 Cranberry Juice Confusion
I was at a party dancing with my friends.
Him: “Hey gorgeous, what are you drinking tonight?”
Me: “Cranberry juice and vodka.”
Him: “So you must be on your period—cranberry juice is good for that.”
#18 A Sobering Experience
He was cute and he offered to buy me a drink. I told him I was the DD for the night and that I could only have a Shirley Temple. He then repeatedly insisted that I get something spiked instead. He actually got angry when I told him that I really couldn’t. In his frustration, he started going around saying out loud that girls are easier when they are tipsy. He also called me a witch.
#19 Steering Clear
On my second date with a guy, I drove to his house and picked him up. While chatting on the way to the restaurant, we merged onto the highway. Though it was completely normal and uneventful, he said, “Do you hate merging?” I responded, “No… Why would I feel any type of way about merging?” He replied, “Most women hate merging. I guess it’s scary for them. Driving is a lot for most women.”
Okay, we’re done here.
#20 Boxed In
We went to a Denny’s and after our date, he walked me to my car. I had just started the engine when I heard him floor it and box my car in with his. He parked right behind my bumper so I couldn’t get out. He got out of his car and knocked on my window. I rolled it down about one inch because he was seriously scaring me. He said he felt like he needed to let me know that he was very interested in me. I had gotten the feeling that he had little to no experience with women due to the constant nervous laughter every time we barely touched. I told him, okay, and then he left. The next morning he texted me and I told him I wasn’t interested and that he shouldn’t do stuff like that. Luckily, I never heard from him again.
#21 Poor Service
He was rude to a server. She was a teenager and it was probably her first job. He threw the straw she handed him and demanded she lay it on the table instead of hand it to him. The poor thing looked like she was going to cry. I left immediately but not before handing her $20 and giving her a little pep talk. He got kicked out a little bit after I left and then arrested when he tried to kick the door in. Stupid jerk.
#22 Just Breathe
I chatted with a guy for a bit on Match.com years ago. At some point, we decided it was time to meet up. We agreed to go to a local bar. After about three drinks, I knew it wasn’t going anywhere because it was a total one-sided conversation, on his part. When it was time to leave he told me he couldn’t leave yet. I was confused.
“Oh, I didn’t tell you… I have a breathalyzer in my car and can’t drive yet. Can I come to your place and hang?”
Nope. I left him standing next to his car and went home.
#23 Say Cheese
We went on a dinner date and he ordered Swiss cheese on his sandwich. When he received the sandwich, he pulled it apart, then yelled at the waitress. He went on about how he specifically asked for Swiss cheese and they gave him the cheese with holes in it again. I am not exaggerating. It was done then and there.
#24 The Wrong Line
I wore my favorite striped sweater on a first date once. One of the first things he said to me was, “Huh… I thought girls weren’t supposed to wear horizontal stripes because they make them look fat?”
#25 Arms Of An Angel
He played “Angel,” by Sarah Mclachlan on repeat. By the fourth time, I knew I had to either put out or get out. I just had to get away from that song.
#26 Rude Ride Sharing
He was being rude to the Uber driver. He talked to them as if they were his inferiors. As if! I told him right then and there that we would catch separate Ubers back to our cribs. I was NOT feeling his entitled attitude.
#27 Unlabeled Recordings
He recorded our hookup without my permission. We were very casually dating. I was watching his cat as he toured Europe. I was doing laundry at his place during a storm and the satellite went out. I started digging through DVDs to watch and found that there were a bunch of them unlabeled. I popped one in and totally freaked out. There I was.
#28 Keeping It In Check
He wanted to split the check at dinner so that in case he didn’t get a second date, he wouldn’t be out too much money. Just to be clear, asking to split the check is fine. Saying his reasoning out loud was the main reason he didn’t get a second date.
#29 A Lot To Take On
I met this one guy from a dating site, and he told me that I was “a lot to take on because of all the kids and stuff.” He somehow expected I would understand that he was really doing me a favor by interacting with me. I did not.
Me: Fresh out of my PhD program, working a job that was okay, still making plenty of money to live in the city, fully supporting my kids including insurance and everything else, renting but paying all my own expenses, and pretty much debt-free aside from about $10,000 of student loans left over from my Master’s program.
Him: No degree, making only a quarter what I do, and openly unashamed about the fact that he was planning to file for bankruptcy soon.
But yeah, I was a lot to take on.
#30 Under The Influence
I was a server at a restaurant. While I was pouring water, the guy told the gal: “So for my second DUI…” She looked up at me, politely asked for the check, and left five minutes later. Good for you lady. If that wasn’t for her, she was nice about it but clearly ended that date. Lesson: don’t brag about DUIs. Don’t even drink and drive for that matter!
#31 Teasing About Tattoos
I went on a date with my old high school crush when I was in college. Red flag #1: he insulted my tattoo. Why agree to date the punk rock chick from high school if you’re going to bag on her tattoo? Red flag #2: when we got to the bar, I went to the bathroom and came back to see another girl in his face, yelling “What is your problem? You’re calling me spoiled because I’m from Highland Park? What gives you the right?”
Funny, because he was bragging about needing a financial advisor at dinner. I told the girl, “Oh don’t worry, he insulted me on the way up here! Sorry about him.” Then I made him take me home.
#32 Unwanted Hand Holding
Well, a boy recently RAN in front of me to open a door, then did this thing where he tried to hold my hand randomly. It gave me a really creepy vibe, so now I’m avoiding him. It’s pretty hard though since he sits next to me in all my classes.
#33 Stay In Your Lane
He drove like an utter jerk. He picked me up to go on our one and only date and for the entire ride, I was horrified. He would drift in and out of adjacent lanes in his giant SUV—not changing lanes, mind you, just not giving a freak about staying in his own lane. He didn’t check his mirrors or signal or anything. In my mind, the date was already over before we even got to the restaurant.
#34 Heavy On The Texting
He was constantly texting me at work while I was dealing with a crisis. He wouldn’t say anything other than: “Hey. Hey. Hello? You there? You busy?” I had already talked to him about this at least twice and then I just exploded. We’d only been seeing each other like a month.
#35 Catty About Being Catfished
I chatted with this guy for a couple of months before we met up. He asked me out and I told him to give me some time to think about it. He was cute and bought me flowers. So sweet!
The next time we hung out in person, we had a fun outing planned. However, on the train, he said some weird stuff like, “You have thunder thighs,” and “You have a mustache.” That same day, he said he thought I kind of catfished him because I’m lighter in person. Er, okay. Awkward things to say to someone you’re going out with.
#10 Ghosted While In Bathroom
He got so tipsy that he forgot I was with him. He left the restaurant when I went to the bathroom. Um?!
#37 No-Dancing Zone
This guy was giving me eyes across the room the entire time. I could tell he was building up the courage to speak to me, so I waited to give him a chance. Later at the party, I stood around with my girlfriends trying to look approachable and my favorite artist came on. I started to dance and this freak walked over to say the worst thing imaginable: “Stop dancing right now.” I mean can you imagine? You had infinite choices of what to say and you say that??? Boy bye. We walked away immediately.
#38 Three-Dimensional Mistake
Despite the fact that I did not express any uncertainty about it, he continued to explain what “3D” stood for. It’s something I assume most people already know, but I guess he didn’t assume that. I was studying to be an engineer, so when he gave his explanation, I just had to chuckle. But hey, at least he gave me this story to use whenever I need a perfect example of mansplaining.
#39 No Shot
I was texting him the other night. I’m pretty sure he was texting and driving but I wasn’t completely sure, so I didn’t ask. His job involves lots of driving to different stores and checking up with supplies. We were talking about our day and he proceeded to tell me that he’d had 12 shots earlier that day. When I got mad, he assured me it was fine because he’d slept it off and only had a hangover now. I don’t care how great of tolerance you think you have, you should never drive tipsy and endanger other people’s lives.
#40 Persistent Co-worker
He asked me in the break room at work if I had a partner and I said no. The second I got back to my desk, he started pinging me. He gave me his number and I felt like I kind of had to text him because he knew I had seen the message. He then asked for my Instagram so he could “stalk” me.
He tried to ask me to lunch that very day. He texted me at 6 a.m. the next morning, asking how I slept. Never did he ask if I was even interested in dating him. I said I would go to happy hour with him but that was before I realized how freaking persistent he was. No thank you.
#41 One Bad Black Friday
We met up on Black Friday. There was absolutely no connection at all, and if I’m being honest, when I saw him I wanted to turn around and run. After I got done at Walmart (I was buying a Christmas tree), he said he didn’t want to go to lunch. I said that’s fine, I need to get some more shopping done anyway. “We can meet up another time,” I said.
This fool followed me to the next store and then started yelling at me in the middle of the parking lot saying I was a witch, just because I wouldn’t let him come home with me. It just went on and on. I got in my car and drove away, obviously. I couldn’t drive home because he followed me for about half an hour and continued to call me over 50 times. The messages he left… Man, the red flags were flying high on that one.
#42 Fed Up With The Frogs
He told me he hurt frogs in his free time with cherry bombs. He said that because they are an invasive species, it’s okay to hurt them.
#43 A Failed Pitch
He took me to the Cheesecake Factory. He ordered a Long Island iced tea, then proceeded to tell me about a pyramid scheme involving a multivitamin that he thought would “cure” my sibling’s cystic fibrosis. He showed me a lengthy promotional video for it, then told me that he would never get his future children vaccinated because he believes it causes Down Syndrome.
#44 The Literal Tree Hugger
We were out walking in nature when he decided to go and hug a tree “to feel the energy.” Yeah, it’s a no for me, guy.
#45 Proud Audi Owner
We went out for a drink the day after Christmas and he was ranting about how his parents didn’t get him the floor mats he wanted for his Audi. His mom could have gone to the Audi dealership and gotten him a gift card, but she didn’t. When I offered to pay for half our cocktails, he laughed and told me he makes way more money than me, and that he would pay. So I let him, and he drove his Audi home tipsy. It’s a shame it didn’t work out because, you know, he had an Audi.