Guys Share The “Bro Secrets” Girls Don’t Know About

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From a girl’s perspective, it may seem that it’s a whole lot simpler to be a guy. According to stereotypes, guys have no emotion, they don’t engage in drama, and they have a neutral opinion about a lot of things, including the outfits their girlfriends are debating between. But is that really the case? Guys from around the world took to the internet to share the “bro secrets” that most girls don’t know about. A lot of these “bro secrets” are ones that guys learn as they grow up and nestle into their roles in society. They are completely unspoken and not found in some textbooks or other educational resources. If you want to unlock the male mind, keep on reading—you might just learn something about them that you never knew of before.

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#1 He Likes You Too

Your “guy friend” would date you if given the chance. That’s why your significant other hates him. And all guys know this when they see him. There doesn’t even have to be any obvious hints or details, we just know. And we know every time. It’s just best not to argue this one with us, ladies. It isn’t that we don’t trust you, we just definitely don’t trust them. On the other hand, from my experience being the “guy friend”, just because I would, doesn’t mean I’m going to try.

#2 Silent Bonding

We can spend hours with our best friends and not say anything of significance. This conversation happens once a month: What did you guys talk about?—Nothing. How’s his wife?—I don’t know, good I think. Are his kids enjoying their new school?—What new school? You spent six hours with him, you really talked about nothing exciting?—We tried to make the best possible baseball team using only names that start in “R.”

#3 Make Us Feel Special

We like to feel special as well. Man, this hits really close to home. I constantly tell my wife how much I love and support her, but I never really hear it from her. Then when my band goes out for shows and people come up to me later to tell me how good we sound, or how well the show went, or how hot I was on stage, she gets mad. Communication is key.

#4 Two Brains, One Problem

No people bond tighter than two men talking about something nobody else in the world cares about. This is what “boy talk” is all about. I’m a gamer and my best mate is in Singapore. A new patch came out so we were sitting on voice comms doing nothing. We were trying to figure out how the new numbers changed our gameplay and optimizing really minor stuff none of you care about. But specifically, to the two of us, it’s the most interesting and consuming thing in the world to talk out our pointless ideas with each other.

10 minutes later, we realized one of our gal friends was in the voice channel and we were like, “Oh my God, spy!” and she said, “Yeah, I’ve been listening to your boring boy talk this whole time.” That’s when I was like oh, right. Even half a planet apart, with no facial interaction, hand gestures, etc., Male bonding is completely uninhibited. Don’t need anything but two working brains and a problem to ponder.

#5 Avoiding The Awkwardness

Fathers often don’t teach sons about the birds and the bees. They just expect sons to learn it elsewhere. My “talk” came up on the way to a pro baseball game when I was about nine years old. The family mentioned something about an adult dancer. My dad looked back in the car and asked: “Do you know what that is?” I said, “Yeah, I do,” and that was that. We never talked about it again.

#6 I Don’t Care

When I say, “I don’t care,” it means….”I don’t care.” To elaborate: “I am filled with apathy. Being forced to contribute to the conversation or solution would be the only disagreeable outcome for me.”

#7 Regular Soap

Do you know the meme with the couple facing opposite sides? Yeah, well, it’s accurate as heck. 99% of the time, when you think we’re having some thoughts about really deep issues or cheating on you, we’re just thinking about random stuff like: “Do bald guys shampoo their heads or just use regular soap?” So stop worrying. (By the way, I think most bald guys just use regular soap).

#8 Multiple Streams

We don’t miss the toilet seat on purpose or due to bad aim. Sometimes the stream is hard to direct, and sometimes there’s more than one. The double stream is a nightmare. When that happens I just let it go and accept I’m gonna have some cleaning to do. Don’t even get me started on the triple stream. That one is impossible to deal with.

#9 Riding Compliments

Almost nobody ever compliments men. A simple compliment can make a guy’s week. We’re starved for it. Seriously. I met a girl this weekend and when I took my glasses off, she said that she loved my eyes and thinks they’re beautiful. I’m going to be riding that one for a while.

#10 Screensaver Mode

We can come home from a long day at work and be perfectly happy sitting quietly not speaking a word at home watching TV or eating dinner with you. We’re not mad or upset at you, that is just the way we are.  I call that “screensaver mode.” I’m a little bit introverted and my job, unfortunately, has me talking to people the whole day, so when I come home, I like to be left alone.

#11 Peace And Quiet

Men are perfectly capable of hanging out with their best guy friends… and just sitting there not saying a word. Like, my neighbor can come over, just sit on the couch and watch football while I’m in my recliner. We don’t need to communicate. We both just want to sit and watch football in peace. He can’t do that at home because he has kids, a wife, two dogs, etc. Most of the time, our communication involves yelling at the TV. For some reason, this baffles a lot of women.

#12 “I’m Fine”

“I’m fine” doesn’t necessarily mean I’m fine right now, but I will be eventually and if you keep bringing it up, it’s going to make it worse.  “I’m angry, but I recognize that my anger is irrational, unreasonable, unjustified, or not worth fighting over, and I need time to process my emotions. I want to get over it on my own.” Or, the other 70% of the time, I’m actually fine.

#13 Side-By-Side Time

“Side-by-side time” is when you are engaged in an activity with someone else, but not necessarily talking to them. You bond through the shared experience of the activity, not by talking to each other. This is why so many guys reminisce about shared experiences and tell stories about things they did together. I also happen to think that side-by-side time is why guys like games so much. I game online with my good friends frequently, and we rarely get past “how are you” in terms of personal chat, but we all love it. The same goes for watching sports, playing board games, etc.

#14 Dad Bod Disadvantage

When we tell you we’re trying to lose weight, we aren’t asking you to compliment our bodies. We’re bringing it up because our uncles have quadruple bypasses and the doctor told us we have high blood pressure. Don’t get started with the “Oh I love dad bods” statements.  No lady, we’re going to die if we don’t do anything about it.

#15 Mind Is Blank

If a guy says he’s not thinking about anything, he really means it. My wife will frequently ask what is going on, believing that I have something weighing on my mind or that I am upset, but nope, the mind is blank. Quiet is just sometimes nice. Other times, it’s something mind-numbingly boring or absurd and you don’t want to articulate it. Case in point, I was recently doing math in my head regarding leveling my Runescape herbalism up to 99. Not really gonna explain that.

#16 Riding The High

We are suckers for compliments. Most attractive women receive compliments on a regular basis, even if they don’t want it. Most men never get complimented on their looks or style. This makes it so much more precious when it happens and it means a whole lot. We will ride the high of a random compliment for weeks, and even years later. If it pops into our heads, we will smile and it will still put us in a good mood.

#17 Appearance Matters

We look in the mirror and think, “I’m actually not that bad looking.” It’s not all the time, but for the guys that have trouble, try looking for things you like about yourself as opposed to the reverse. For a lot of guys, the highest point of self-esteem is experienced after shaving or getting a haircut. We care about how we look, too.

#18 The Troubleshooting Process

We will open the hood of the car and stare at the engine even if we have no clue where that noise is coming from or what it means. After a couple of minutes of that, we’ll announce that it might be a random part we remember the name of and it should be checked out by a mechanic.

#19 Still Insecure

I think it’s not often addressed that guys, just like girls, also deal with their fair share of insecurities, body dysmorphia, and pressures from society to act and look a certain way. It’s just that openly talking about it and dealing with those emotions is more shameful and less accepted. I tried to talk to one of my closest friends about my struggles with eating disorders and she pulled the “women have it worse” card.

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#20 Rejection Hurts

That dating and dealing with rejection makes a lot of men feel unwanted and unattractive. Some of us have just given up too and that’s why we ignore your “hints.” I’m so tired of having to muster up the courage to only get rejected again. I just want a hug from someone that wants to be with me. I guess I’ll just be lonely and then eventually pass away alone. At least I have my cat.

 #21 Cupping Water

We cup the water in our hands by our chest when we shower and then let it all out when it starts to overflow. I sometimes use both hands, and in an attempt to try and make the loudest sound possible, I aggressively throw my hands away. This is something I’ve always done and never think about it when I’m not actually showering.

#22 Not So Different

We’d like to be spoiled sometimes.

We enjoy hearing we’re handsome.

We like hearing our efforts are appreciated.

We would like to feel secure, too.

#23 Catcalling Welcome

I love showering my boyfriend with compliments. Also, whenever he gets out of the shower, I always catcall and whistle at him. I didn’t do it a couple of weeks ago because I was not paying attention. After he got dressed, he sat next to me and asked if I was okay. I said, yeah, why? He explained that I didn’t whistle at him and thought I must be mad. I said no, but he looked a little sad. I asked if he liked it when I did it. He sheepishly smiled and said yeah. It made me so happy that such a silly thing made him feel good about himself. Now, he comes out and strikes a pose and I yell and go wild. I love him.

#24 What Do You Think?

When you ask, “Does this outfit look nice,” and we say yes to all 13 of them, it’s not that we’re lying. It’s usually that we don’t care what you wear. Or sometimes, I like going with, “I like it, but what do you think?” She’s obviously got an opinion she’s dying to share. It quickly becomes obvious which one she prefers, then you can share that it’s your favorite too.

#25 Boy’s Don’t Cry

We’re scared to break down. Sometimes, when it feels like the whole world is on your shoulders, it’s scarier to think what would happen if you asked for help and no one knew what to do rather than asking for help at all. Also, crying. I don’t know about you guys but I literally cannot cry even when I’m faced with a lot of issues. It kind of sucks because it’s healthy to cry, but now I’ve forgotten what it’s like and I’m almost scared to cry because people may think I’m weak. It’s weird. I miss being a kid.

#26 Slight Jealousy

My girlfriend of two years broke up with me last spring. Following the break-up, I naturally went to my friends for support, because not having her in my life means I’d have a void there. I tried to get closer to my friend, but it seemed like she was growing more distant. I learned recently that it was because she thought I was going to rebound onto her. I didn’t know how to tell her that she wasn’t interested. But wait! It gets even more frustrating. The reason she thought I was rebounding onto her was partly due to me complimenting a haircut THAT SHE ASKED ME ABOUT. She sent me a Snapchat, saying, “Notice anything different?” to which I responded with something along the lines of “Nice haircut! It looks really good.” If that’s flirting, then everything is.

#27 The Nod Etiquette

When men walk down streets and see each other, we usually just nod, as a way of saying “I’m doing well, my fellow dude.”

Nod up = acknowledging a friend.

Nod down = acknowledging a stranger.

#28 Gorillas Are More Important

Wife: Why didn’t you tell me Jeff was having a baby?!

Me: Oh yeah. I forgot.

Wife: When did he tell you?!

Me: (shrug) A few months ago or so.

Wife: I don’t know how you don’t tell me these things immediately…

Me: We probably started talking about how strong gorillas are and I forgot.

Mostly nothing is that important to us. Except how strong gorillas are. That stuff is crazy.

#29 Let Us Slay The Dragon

When you ask us to do something difficult for you (open a jar, fix a thing, move something heavy, drive a long distance, etc.), and we seem to struggle, don’t stop us. At that point, we have to get it done. Let us slay the dragon for you (and for us). The exception is finding stuff. You lost your phone. You’ll most likely find it. I have no idea where it is, and I’d rather be fixing a thing.

#30 A Surprise And Nothing More

If we randomly surprise you with flowers or some gift for no reason, it doesn’t mean there is an ulterior motive or that we are trying to get forgiveness for something. So when you make a big deal and try to roast us with questioning, or say things like, “Wow, why can’t you be more like this more often,” all you are doing is sending the signal to the man’s brain: “Do not do the thing again that brings her suspicion on you.” Besides, we know if it becomes expected, then it becomes a chore and we are treated as some sort of failure when we don’t do it.

#31 We’re Emotional Too

Sometimes, men can be emotional too. It does hurt when a girl leads us on and it does hurt when she doesn’t tell us the truth. A lot of girls try to play it off as something a guy just has to take, but it can actually affect us.

#32 Romance Is A Two-Way Street

We wish you’d talk to us if you’re interested. Romance is a two-way street… Mostly because we have no clue if you are interested or just being nice and we’re tired of worrying about how bad it would be if we made a move and you were just being nice. Honestly, at this point, it’s easier to focus on becoming rich so you can just get a mail-order bride.

#33 Take It At Face Value

There usually isn’t a meaning behind how we act, take it at face value for what it is. It drives me insane that my wife and her friend overanalyze every little comment or text about the guys her friend dates. If he is a jerk, he is a jerk.

#34 Worm On A Water Slide

We take a long time to shower because… We’re trying to redirect the stream of water toward the clumps of your hair on the wall. Because that’s gross to look at. It takes a while without an adjustable shower head. We do have a filter or sieve thing we put over the drain to catch all the hair. But there is still hair on the wall for some reason. And it is our duty to splash the wall so each strand squiggles down like a worm on a water slide.

#35 The Secret To Male Confidence

Okay, here’s the big one: You wake up in the morning, you roll out of bed and fumble your way to the kitchen to pour yourself some cereal or make coffee, but you’re out of milk. You throw on whatever clothes you have to, in order to not break the law or freeze to death. Then, you stumble down the road and into the nearest shop for milk. Then you return home and eat your cereal. At no point do you give a single care about what you look like or what people think about you. If they actually care, they’re jerks and you don’t have to care about them. And that’s the secret to male confidence.

#36 Bathroom Ratings

If you come to our house and the bathroom is spotless, including the sides and area around the back of the toilet: you can rest assured that you are well-liked and high in the pantheon rankings. If the bathroom is half-messy and half-clean, you are low-ranked and just passing through.

#37 No Details Given

We rarely discuss our intimate lives with other men. The most we are likely to say is, “Yeah, we did it” if it’s a one-time thing and nothing if we are in a relationship. We never go into detail. It’s doing each other a favor because we know the other person doesn’t want to hear that stuff.

#38 Touching Is Appreciated

Guys like being touched. I like it when a lady keeps her hand on my thigh when we are driving, or rubbing my head when we’re laying on the couch. Pretty much just any contact. My wife is the opposite and it sucks sometimes. I can truly understand why dogs and cats look for back-of-the-neck scratches and head scratches.

#39 Go With Burgers

We really don’t give a heck where we go to dinner most of the time, we just want to eat something. We are blank slates when we are hungry. Burgers are a good option. It is also usually the cheapest item on the menu by quite a bit at the mid-range nicer restaurants, and big enough that we can say we are too full for dessert and don’t need an appetizer. So we can get the 12 dollar dinner and a cola, you can get the salad to start, a fun 25 dollar entree, and a drink and we are still holding it under 75 bucks.

#40 No Problems

After you and your bro argue, as soon as you hang out again it’s all good, no issues.  That’s it. If there’s a problem, we settle it and draw a line under the whole thing. It only becomes an issue if there’s unfinished business. This reminds me of my high school freshman year. My classmate and I got into a fistfight in the woodshop class. I can’t even remember what it was about.

We fought and then got separated by other classmates before the teacher had returned. A few days later, we found out we lived in the same neighborhood and started hanging out. We ended up becoming best friends. We’re still really good friends to this day and even laugh about the whole thing from time to time.

#41 Boys Vs. Girls

I knew someone that spent time working at an all-girls school, then worked at an all-boys school. She said the biggest difference she noticed was how conflicts were handled. With girls, it lasted a long time, there was a lot of subtle (verbal) jabs, and social standing was a big part of it too. For boys, it usually played out pretty quickly, more often coming to physical violence, but after that, it was done, to the point where they could become friends the next day.

#42 Cuddling Is The Best

The one thing I want most of all from a woman is cuddling. I can spend time alone being productive, but an empty bed at night with no cutie to put my arms around is what’s killing me about being single. I hug my bedsheets and think about women. We love cuddling. We love someone thinking about us too and doing random acts of kindness. We appreciate help with things even though sometimes we may not ask for it.

#43 Meaningless Topics

When you ask us, “What are you thinking about,” it’s often popular culture, video games, comics, movies, science and if an F35 could defeat a red dragon. That said, I don’t think it could, with the plating and all. Maybe the concussive blasts might do it? But definitely not the fire of said missile blasts. Interesting topic to be sure.

#44 Just Hanging Out

When guys hang out, all we do is hang out. No gossip is involved… usually. If I am spending the night at a buddy’s house playing LAN, that’s all we are doing. We ain’t talking about what happened at school, work, etc. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. The best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

#45 No Gossip, Just Golf

Men can frequently spend hours together and not talk about anything significant. If your husband or boyfriend went out to play golf with his buddies and you ask him afterwards, “What did you talk about?” He’s probably not lying if he says, “Nothing.” He didn’t go golfing to gossip, he went golfing to play golf.

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