Crazy In Love: These Messed Up Relationships Put Reality TV To Shame
People can go a little crazy when they’re in a relationship—but crazy doesn’t even begin to describe these disturbed people. These messed up love stories take “drama” to the next level. Where’s Maury when you need him?
#1 Caught Swiping
I was single and on Tinder. One day, I was scrolling through and made a disturbing discovery. I saw my sister’s boyfriend on there. I thought, what the heck is this? And then I came up with a plan to get revenge. I made a fake profile to catfish him and talked to him for a bit—it was obviously him, and I got his number.
Showed it to my sister and she broke up with him. Mission accomplished, jerkwad.
#2 Put Me in, Coach
I was a P.I. for five years, I had a few exciting cases. One incident was of a coach who was sleeping with one of the female players. One of the players who was benched hired me to document the coach for sleeping with one of the starters on the team. The coach and the player were careful with how they arranged their meetings.
It took me a bit to document it, but ultimately I got the information. Fast forward a week later, and the papers reported that the coach had resigned to work in the family business…fast forward another week later, the story broke with all the evidence I had collected. I was not named in the story as I had requested not to be.
#3 Full Dance Card
I met a girl online, and we dated for a few months. Turns out she was temporarily separated from her husband, and she started seeing another guy (me) without anyone else knowing—but it got worse. I then found out that she was also cheating on me and still married when the wife or girlfriend of the third guy she was messing around with spray-painted her car when she was caught at his house one night.
The police called me to figure out where I was that night, and then told me she was married, but not to the guy she had been spending the night with.
#4 Misleading Photos
I met a guy online, and in all of his pictures, he had a tight-lipped smile. When we met in real life, I couldn’t believe my eyes. He had not one whole tooth. What teeth he had were yellow stumps. He also did not have all of his fingers. It was a rather traumatic experience because I was caught off guard and didn’t know how to respond.
If he had been upfront about it, I would have felt way less awkward. I am not in a hurry to get back online.
#5 The Guilty, But Honest Lover
I was working at a wedding when I was younger. I was running the bar at the reception, which was very close to the hall the weddings were at. We were told that the reception would begin around 4 PM. It was already about 3ish and I was packing fridges, the usual barman things, while one of the male guests was still sitting there drinking.
I asked if he was not joining the reception, to which he replied something along the lines of “When I have the courage.” He downs his drink and leaves. 10 minutes later he’s back looking extremely disappointed. Guy orders a drink, and less than 30 seconds later another guy who’s dressed extremely well (turned out to be the groom), walks in, punches him in the back of the head, and leaves.
This dude just picked his drink up and sipped it further. I eventually found out that this dude had downed his drink, walked into the reception and admitted to sleeping with the wife on her hen night and again the night before the wedding. He was never invited to the wedding. He just felt the groom needed to know.
So, he found out where the wedding was, suited up and dropped the info mid-ceremony.
#6 Let It Go, Dude
My ex-husband went off the deep end when I left him three years ago, despite the fact that he was cheating on ME every step of the way. Anyway, I moved 1,000 miles away and began to restart my life. One day, about a month after leaving him, I checked my mail and saw that I had a huge, heavy envelope in the box. When I opened it, I was horrified.
It was photos of me doing allllll the activities of my daily life, but the photos were clearly taken from afar, and without my knowledge. Immediately, I contacted my attorney. It turns out, my ex was hoping to catch me with someone else, because he wanted to try to sue me for abandonment. It was awful, and it took me a long time to feel safe and secure in my new home.
#7 Family Matters
I know someone who was a junior detective. This one case he had was an absolute mind-bender. So this guy had been cheating on his wife (the client), with her brother. Except—she claimed she didn’t have a brother at all and grew up as an only child. So naturally, they were really curious to find out who this “brother” of hers was.
When they questioned the husband, he said that the guy who claimed to be his wife’s “brother” said, “We’ve known each other for so long” and “I grew up with her” and all that jazz. At first, my friend assumed it was probably a long lost brother or something, but then when the husband was asked to describe the guy—get this. He described the wife’s father.
According to the wife, her father wasn’t there during her wedding and was replaced with her uncle instead. The husband hadn’t met him before. He was cheating on his wife with her father! Absolutely wild.
#8 Outed by Pie
A friend of mine was married to this guy for six months. He seemed like a nice guy. He had a violent history and spent a few years in jail, but she claimed he had changed. After six months, she learned that she was so, so wrong. He threw a knife at her because she didn’t want him to eat a pie she had just baked.
Later, she learned that he was also regularly poisoning her dog. The dog survived and is fine, but the marriage, not so much.
#9 Self-Esteem Booster
I met a girl on Tinder. We had fun but in the end, it didn’t work out. After a few months, there just weren’t any feelings. Then, she shared the most horrific story I’ve ever heard. She told me that the last guy she dated off of Tinder was once so drunk that he urinated and pooped in the bed while she slept beside him.
And that wasn’t even the worst guy she’d met! Since then, I see myself in a lot more positive light.
#10 Gotta Go Fast
I broke up with her at her house, but she decided to follow/race me back to mine. As we were both driving, she sped past me going 20 MPH over the limit in the wrong lane trying to get to my place first. She almost got into a head-on collision with another car. We get back to my house. I’m trying to figure out how the heck to get rid of her without hurting herself/me/my property.
After she yells at me for an hour or so, cries, smacks herself, tells me not to do this, etc. She grabs a box of Nerds from the coffee table and hurls it at me. She missed me, but the box of Nerds exploded into my couch. She stormed off…and then basically harassed and stalked me for months. Plus, there are still Nerds in that couch.
#11 Bros Catfishing Bros
A friend of mine was Catfished to an insane extent. Apparently, he had been dating this girl on Facebook for the longest time (around two years) and one night at a party got drunk and made out with a mutual friend. However, it was just a drunken fling with no attraction and as it turns out—he told the online girlfriend. The revenge she took was so, so horrific.
She proceeded to lock him out of his Facebook profile (since he had given her his password) and for the next two hours following she uploaded every single intimate photo he had sent her. Literally. Cover Photo. Profile pic. Shared multiple photos of just my friend, in multiple positions and angles. Sometimes with a cowboy hat. Other times with a ribbon around his lower regions.
Needless to say, we all saw a bit too much of him. And then the real truth came out. Turns out at the end of it all, the girl wasn’t real. It was a group of guys playing a really sick prank on him. He’s all good now though.
#12 No Harm In Being Sure
A friend of mine was dating my cousin, and she suspected him of cheating on her. So to see if he would really be capable of such a thing, she made a fake Myspace (yes it was back in the day). She found pictures from the Internet of regular girls his type and compiled together the ones of girls who looked similar enough to be mistaken as being the same girl.
It was actually pretty talented of her. Every picture was of a different girl, but you would have thought they were all the same. I have no idea how many man-hours she put into this account, but she friended my cousin and talked for a while, then asked to meet up. When my cousin said ok, my friend promptly broke up with him. It was total entrapment, but it got the truth out, so kudos to her.
#13 Dial-Up for Drama
I only remember bits to this story so forgive me. When I was about 7 years old my mom was on AOL (about 1996) and had previously met a couple guys online, before online dating was known to be common or dangerous. She started talking to this one guy and eventually he planned to fly to where we lived and meet her.
This is where my memory gets sketchy, as she has only told me the story while drinking with me. He had claimed to have his doctorate degree and told her he had published a well-known book. She searched for the book and eventually she searched it in some online database (I want to say library of congress?) and found nothing. His lies before they met got worse.
Something led my mom to go to the police and they said he was actually a wanted man for previously killing or attempting to kill women. The police used my mom to catch the guy at this point, he agreed to fly down here, and she was having him meet her at her office. When he arrived, the authorities were there to apprehend him.
#14 Femme Fatale
I was getting ready for a first date with a girl I had been talking to over FaceTime for a few weeks. I was about 10 minutes away when she started texting me weird questions, asking me things like what kind of phone I had, and what kind of car I was driving. I said that was a weird thing to ask, and she flipped out and canceled the date.
Out of curiosity, I drove by the place where I was supposed to pick her up, and what I saw made my blood run cold. There was a car sitting there with heavily tinted windows. A very sketchy looking guy got out of the car I tore out of there. I ended up calling the cops. It turns out this girl would pick up guys online, and then her roommates would rob them at the meetup point.
#15 Stranger Danger
I used to be on Meetme, specifically for their skeeball online game and to try to make some more friends. I was talking to one guy, and I told him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, as I’d just dumped my last ex. One day, he texted me asking what I was up to—and then told me he was outside the lounge where I was just chilling with some friends and smoking hookah.
Apparently, this guy looked up my info and found me on Facebook, and then looked up the lounges in the area based on a photo I had posted. He wanted me to come outside, refused to come in to meet everyone, and when I told him no and that my friends felt like it wasn’t safe for me to meet him alone—which I vehemently agreed with—he lost his mind.
He was yelling at me, telling me my friends don’t know him and that they were too cautious, etc. I told him that if he couldn’t come in and be friends with everyone, we couldn’t be friends. That was the last I heard from him. Looking back, I think he might have been trying to kidnap me or something. The whole refusing to come in and wanting me to go outside alone was kind of a huge red flag.
I wound up deleting my Meetme after that whole ordeal. The skeeball game was amazing, but between that guy and some German dude calling me his treasure and wanting me to move to Germany and become his wife randomly, I was pretty done with it all.
An acquaintance of mine once went on a date with a future criminal. Apparently, the person seemed more or less normal online, besides being really into guns, which isn’t that weird, since this was in rural Iowa. They didn’t have a second date though, and a while later there was a news story about someone who tried to shoot up a Pokemon tournament. One of them was the guy she had met.
#17 Desperate Measures
One guy that I met online faked his own death. His “mother” texted me, saying he had died by suicide. I was devastated until I realized he was using a fake account and pretending to be his mother so that he could get with two of my best friends simultaneously without them knowing that they were dating the same guy.
#18 Fifth Time’s The Charm
I’ve been through it all during online dating. I think I am a decent looking dude, but I’m awkward and goofy and never liked meeting a girl out at a bar or something because I felt like I had to be someone else and not myself. All my official relationships have been with girls I have met online, and there have been some doozies.
With the first girl ever met online, we ended up getting engaged…until I found out she had a Facebook profile under a fake name and was dating someone else for a few months at the end of our relationship. The second girl I met online? We ended up going to college together and moved in together for about six months until she cheated on me.
Then there was the girl I dated for a few months. We had a great relationship, but it ended because she was moving to Florida to be with her family. With another girl, we dated for 4 months and then I broke up with her on New Years’. My feelings for her just ended out of nowhere, and it really confused me. Finally, after all that, my luck turned around with the last girl I met online.
We are living together now, and have been together for over a year. I moved to a different city to be with her, and got a great job there as well. Our awkward, introverted, goofy selves complement each other, and I can fart in front of her. She’s the one.
#19 Err…Living in Denial Much?
My sister didn’t see anything wrong with her husband moving to another state, leaving her to stay at my parents’ house, and only seeing him when she flew to visit (he was in the army). She didn’t see a problem when girls would post Instagram and Facebook photos of her husband completely drunk at a party when he told her he was at work.
She didn’t see a problem when he made huge purchases (a sports car, a four-wheeler) that they couldn’t afford without telling her. She also didn’t see a problem when he told her she should get breast implants. Nope, never saw a problem. She didn’t realize it was a mistake until he sent her divorce papers. They were married less than a year.
I for one wasn’t surprised. I tried to tell her a marriage that started with a proposal when both parties were in relationships with DIFFERENT PEOPLE was doomed to fail but she didn’t listen.
#20 Taking the Term “Blind Date” a Little Too Far
Not sure this counts since the date didn’t actually happen, but I was set up on a blind date through an online service. We planned to meet at a restaurant. I got there first and since it was a nice day out, I sat down on a bench outside the restaurant. He ended up calling me on his way over and I told him where I was sitting. He was still on the phone when he started walking up to the building.
He took one look at me, hung up the phone, and walked back to his car. I tried to call him back, thinking something must have happened, and he didn’t answer. No more answers to calls or texts afterward.
#21 Second Time’s the Charm
My parents got divorced after 22 years of marriage when my mother cheated. My dad felt bad and hurt, but acknowledged that he might have been part of the problem due to his emotional distance. So, he wanted to work through the issues with therapy and stuff. She agreed to try and work through them as well—but it was all lies. She cheated again a week later.
The divorce was messy…
I was in an on-and-off relationship with this girl for a while. I never wanted anything serious, then disaster struck. My mom was killed and I went into a deep depression and this girl was there for me. Her mom had died of cancer about a year earlier and I guess we really bonded over that. It pushed us much further emotionally than we ever should’ve gone.
We ended up doing a courthouse marriage. I knew within the month that I had messed up. But I didn’t want to just give up and get divorced. Once the emotions of my mom’s death passed, I realized how toxic she really was. She was an incredibly unstable person and ended up just taking me into an even deeper depression.
We divorced about a year ago (after being married for about ten months), and I was immediately much happier. Marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly, but people also shouldn’t force themselves to be in unhealthy relationships. We all make mistakes. Don’t waste your life with someone that doesn’t deserve you.
#23 Not a Nice Man to Know
My sister had a civil marriage. Then they moved extremely far away—to the middle of nowhere—because he got a good job there. My sister never finished college and he would remind her about it. She would get super depressed and he wouldn’t believe her. She got sick once and he told her since she didn’t go to the DMV that day she wasn’t allowed to go to a theme park we were planning on going to that weekend. He would demean her whenever she couldn’t get a job or even an interview, and she applied to practically everywhere within a 50-mile radius.
He called her stupid in front of me and when I confronted him, he told me to mind my own business. If he wasn’t twice my size I would have decked him. She left him after about a year because he’s obviously a raging maniac. When she left, he told her she has nowhere to go and if she went to stay with our mom she would just be a burden like me. I was like 19 and in college at the time. He’s a rude idiot but at least she got the car and the dog.
#24 It Isn’t You, It’s Me
My friend’s sister got engaged after eight months of being in a relationship, and got married four months later. Everything seemed fine for the first five months, but after that the husband started acting differently. He wasn’t chatty, his good morning/goodnight kisses became dull, etc. His wife would ask if everything was okay and he would say “I’m fine” every time. She didn’t want to push him, so she waited for him to talk about what’s bothering him.
One evening after eating dinner, the husband said he wanted to talk about their relationship. Before he could say anything though, he started crying. He cried for a few minutes and then told her he’s gay. The girl filed for divorce and after the divorce was settled, she wasn’t mad at him anymore, so she went to see him and forgave him. They became good friends and she helped him become comfortable with his sexuality. She even helped him come out to his close friends and then to his family.
Five years later, the girl is now engaged to another man and expecting their first child. Her ex-husband is now very happily married to a man for almost a year now.
#25 The Doctor Is out (of Existence)
My very good friend Ben’s dad has always had an online girlfriend called “Dr. Sam.” She was the reason Ben’s parents divorced about 12 years ago. I don’t know the story of early Dr. Sam, just that she claimed to be a doctor of some kind, and also had some kind of cancer. Steve (Ben’s dad) sent Dr. Sam all kinds of money. Enough that his wife divorced him.
When those little hands-free phone headsets came out, he got one and was on the phone with her literally every second of the day. She would make him talk to her cats on the phone, and he’d be places like the grocery store, meowing into a headset no one could see. He tried to visit her many times, but every time he had his tickets squared away, she’d come up with the most ridiculous excused.
Her cancer would come back and she’d need emergency medical treatment, or (I kid you not) her pet tiger would bite her and she’d go to the hospital. Steve is a high-ranking naval officer. When he had to go to Afghanistan a few years ago, he sent his cat to live with Dr. Sam. She had it put down immediately, because “he wasn’t happy.”
Eventually, Dr. Sam claimed to have died. I wouldn’t believe a word of this if Ben’s mother hadn’t confirmed all of it.
#26 Marrying a Stranger
My mother-in-law got married the first time when she was very young. She left him a month later when she found he was a raging alcoholic. She had no idea because her family was extremely over-protective, and they were never allowed to spend time together alone before they got married. Who knew spending time with someone could be the key to knowing if they are a good partner??
#27 Holiday Fling
I was blindsided. We lived together for a year, about an hour from my hometown. We relocated, upon her request, to my hometown prior to our marriage so that when we had kids, we’d be close to family. We had a house we loved, a dog we loved, jobs we both loved—or so I thought. We got married in October.
Less than a year later, she went to visit her sister over the Labor Day weekend, and I couldn’t attend due to work. She came back the Tuesday after Labor Day and told me she’s living a lie and someone else’s dream, so she needs a divorce. I had no idea. Our divorce was finalized in January. She married someone her sister was friends with, who she met on that trip I was unable to attend in September.
#28 Playing the Game
I met a girl on Xbox Live when I was 17, playing Black Ops 2. We ended up exchanging Instagram handles, and eventually phone numbers. She was in Texas & I am in Washington. After about six months, we started to do long distance dating, as we’d both taken an interest in one another. However, I had to accept that I was probably never going to meet her due to the distance, so I broke things off after a few months.
Apparently she didn’t like that. Two days later, I came home from school to make a bizarre discovery. She was sitting on my front porch with her bags. She packed up her life and moved to Washington because she wanted to be with me. We ended up dating and living together for three years until she left me for another guy who she met on Xbox while playing a game that I bought for her.
#29 Call of Booty
I met a girl playing COD Zombies and realized that she was in my city due to her area code. Long story short, she would come over to my house every Thursday for “game night,” where we played Skyrim for about 5 minutes before taking off all of our clothes. It was awesome, honestly. I called her my “Call of Booty.”
#30 (Don’t) Meet the Parents!
We grew up on a ranch. My brother’s girlfriend came from the city, but during visits to the ranch, she would dive right in, helping our mom around the house and participating in all the stuff we did—horseback riding, ATVs, etc. She claimed (and appeared) to love it. My brother was so happy his city gal was compatible with the ranch lifestyle he grew up in, even though he was working in the city and their life would be in the city.
He just loved that she was able to connect with him that way and more importantly, with his family. They dated for about 18 months, made many visits to the ranch, and all seemed well. She insisted that she wanted to have her wedding at my parent’s home, and my folks went all out, had both families there, and everyone had a great time.
The next morning, we had a send-off breakfast for the couple, and they headed to the airport for their honeymoon. My mom and the bride’s mom were visiting later, and the bride’s mom mentioned she’s glad my mom had no hard feelings that her daughter and my brother would no longer be coming out to the ranch. My mom’s jaw dropped.
She was like, “What do you mean?” Bride’s mom said, “Oh, I thought ‘Laura’ told you that having the wedding here was her gift to you to have your son home one last time with all his family here.” My mom went as white as a sheet. We all were stunned. We were confused as to whether my brother knew this, and more importantly, had agreed to it.
My other brother (who had his own history of family drama) texted our big bro saying, “Is it true that this is your last time visiting mom and dad?” And big bro texted back, “what are you talking about?” Middle bro said, “Ask your new wife.” Needless to say, the honeymoon never happened. It turned out that his wife had been hiding her belief that that man leaves his family behind and becomes part of the woman’s family.
It was fully her intent to never visit my parents again, to spend all holidays at her parents’ home, to have any future children only have relationships with her family, and on and on. My brother literally had no idea these were her beliefs/desires. To this day I don’t know if she was evil or just clueless.
They remained married for about a month until the divorce was final, but my bro never saw her again after the day-after-wedding-day.
#31 The Groom with Way Too Many Mistresses
My boyfriend was friends with a guy who was getting a quickie marriage and needed witnesses. We agreed and went inside the little reception room, where the preacher, bride, and the groom were lined up waiting on us. The preacher started his thing and I noticed a woman come in and lean against the back wall. She looked pissed, standing with her arms crossed.
Preacher: “Is there anyone here today who objects to the union of **** and ****? Please, speak now.” The couple looked back at us and we both smiled. Suddenly, the bride’s attention turned to the woman in the back of the room. Bride: “What the heck is she doing here?!” The woman quickly raises her hand, looking at the old preacher.
Woman: “I object! I don’t agree with this marriage!” The bride glares at her. Bride: “Shut up! Wait your turn! It’s my scheduled day! You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first!” The woman had to be dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming and spitting at the bride. After the reception, my boyfriend’s friend explained that he was originally in a relationship with the bride. After ten years together, he started sleeping with her sister, the woman. They were close sisters, but eventually, both ladies got pregnant by him simultaneously.
They fought each other like cats and dogs for the next several years until the two cousins became school-aged and best friends. Neither one of the sisters would give up the man and he wasn’t sure which one he loved more, so he kept seeing both women. Last I heard they were all still together, but the two sisters had teamed up to take down his pregnant mistress.
#32 I Quit!
My dad got back from his honeymoon, with his first wife, and went back to work. He came home and something felt off when he walked in through the door. She wasn’t there when he got home from work, which was very odd for her since she got off work earlier than him and was always home when he got back.
When she got back, he mentioned that it was out-of-the-ordinary that she had been out and asked if she went somewhere. He wasn’t accusatory, just curious because it never happened, but she dodged his questions at first. Eventually, after he got suspicious of her dodging a simple question, she admitted that she’d quit her job, and when he asked why, she said she didn’t need to work.
So, she was planning on using him as her cash cow. He doesn’t remember how the conversation went exactly since it was 30 years ago. He tried counseling and asked her to get her job back, but she always brushed him off and never took him seriously. He threw in the towel seven months later and she started trying to fix things, but it had been seven months of him trying to fix things and she had shown no interest.
He filed for divorce and went on to achieve his lifelong dream: he dated and then married his middle school crush, my mom. They are now 28 years strong.
Less than a year into actively trying to get pregnant, my husband got discouraged, gave up and started staying out until 4:15am with his “coworker.” He posted selfies on her couch on snapchat and even went as far as asking her to marry him once he could get rid of me. He had two biological children (my step-children) that he abandoned at home with me while he was out doing this.
But that’s not even the worst part. The icing on the cake was that on my favorite holiday, while holding my brand-new baby nephew in front of his entire family, he told me he wanted a divorce. I was gone in two weeks, left everything to him, and vanished. New number, new address, everything. Best choice I ever made.
#34 Too Young to Run
The second time I got catfished was the last time I tried to meet a girl online. I was a junior in college and had been talking to this girl a few states away for weeks online. She claimed to be 19 (I was 20) and she was a cute redhead in the pics she sent me, so I chatted her up regularly even though she lived far away.
At some point, she surprises me with her plan to take a bus out to my university and spend the weekend hanging out and partying with me. When I picked her up at the bus stop I barely recognized her. She sort of looked like the cute redhead I had pictures of, but waaaaaay younger, like she could be the daughter of the girl I had been talking to online.
I played it cool, trying to be a gentleman, but quickly decided that spending the weekend partying with what appears to be a 14-to-16-year-old would be a bad idea. I told her that there were no good parties on the docket and took her home to my parents’ house where I figured we could lay low until Sunday when I could shuffle her back onto a bus and be rid of the jailbait.
Well, late the next evening while we were sitting on the living room floor watching a movie with my parents, the phone rings. I answered the phone to hear a crying woman pleading to know where her daughter was and if she is ok. That’s when it hit me…I was somehow harboring a freakin’ teenage runaway. Not a good look.
I got the girl on the phone with her mom and started grabbing all of her stuff and putting in my car. Apparently, her mom had found my phone number on their phone bill and traveled to my school looking for her daughter. I promised to meet her on campus with her daughter ASAP. Well, we didn’t even make it out of the driveway before the police cars showed up.
The cop looked at me, then pointed to the girl and said, “Is that her?”, and I replied, “Yeah, take her home man” and that was it. Luckily for me, I think this girl may have had a history of running away from home because they didn’t ask me a single question or anything, they thankfully just took the girl and left.
Then my mom came out into the driveway asking why the cops were there…I had some ‘splainin to do. And then, when I returned to school, all of my roommates and neighbors told me that the campus police, local police, and state police had been scouring the campus for me and an underage runaway. I spent the next couple weeks explaining to everyone I knew how I got hoodwinked by an internet girl and that the police had the story wrong.
#35 The Confusing Groom’s Son
When I was 13, we went to my second cousin’s second wedding. Everything is going great. They even got past the speak now or forever hold your peace part. They wrote their own vows, but before my second cousin’s fiancé/wife could even begin her vows, his son got up announced to the entire room that she was cheating on his dad with her drug dealer and he couldn’t let his dad marry her.
My second cousin yelled at his son to either sit down or leave. The son left and my second cousin married her anyway. Five years and one baby later he finds out it was true and they separated but were too under the influence to be able to afford a divorce. Finally, he got married a third time—and that’s where things get truly insane. Before he could go through with it, his new wife-to-be had to pay for his divorce from his second wife!
At least their wedding had no objections. They moved to Missouri and this time, instead of separating or asking for a divorce, he decided he didn’t want to be married anymore and just moved back to Cali to get back together with his second ex-wife. Yep family dinners are a little awkward.
#36 Red Alert!
A friend of mine had been married about six weeks. She had just moved in when they returned from the honeymoon, and she was rearranging furniture, organizing closets and doing other such chores one day while he was at work. She started pulling some of his boxes down from a closet shelf to make room for her things. Suddenly, a box fell down accidentally. Its contents were utterly disturbing.
It was filled with hundreds of explicit photos. She divorced her new husband immediately and reported him to the military police (they were both in the military).
#37 Dodged a Bullet
I met the girl of my dreams on Tinder. We bought a house together after nine months of dating. Five years later, on one completely random afternoon, I got home from the dog park to find all of her stuff packed. She told me, with zero warning, that she was moving out and getting her own apartment. 18 months have passed since then. She’s now a raging alcoholic and sees a therapist 2-3 times a week.
#38 Karma Chameleon
He begged me to have kids. I wasn’t ready but I thought he loved me. We had money, insurance, he was my high school sweetheart, seven years together, first year married…so I thought, why not? Two miscarriages later, I caught him sending explicit messages to his best friend’s girlfriend. As I read through the messages, my heart broke.
The first one started with how horrific my miscarriages were. He thought I was infertile and was looking for a way out. Turns out there were issues on his end not mine. I talked to him a decade later and he thinks God punished him for what he did to me and that’s why he never had children. I have a daughter now. Karma is real.
#39 Not You, Just Your Green Card
My uncle got “green card married” to a Mexican woman he met online, convinced that by the end of the two years before she could become a citizen, she would fall in love with him and want to stay with him. She made it very clear that wouldn’t happen—she just wanted to bring her kids over and needed a good samaritan to help. Well, once she started dating people after their marriage, he realized he was wrong, and they divorced.
But that was just the beginning of the wife’s troubles: she and her kids got sent back to Mexico. Honestly, my uncle is 100% at fault. He’s a misogynistic neckbeard who tricked a woman who was very clear with her intentions into thinking he was a supportive friend and ally. In reality, he just wanted to make her dependent on him and force a relationship on her.
#40 Sunburnt and Stupid!
We dated for five years but on the honeymoon we had a big argument over my liberal use of sunscreen. She refused to wear any because of “chemicals” and I liberally use it due to my pale skin. We seriously argued over this for a good hour and she refused to even go into the pool with me because of sunscreen chemicals. After a scuba adventure together, she could hardly walk because she got so burnt on her legs whereas my skin didn’t change.
She then tried to convince me that it was all my fault because I didn’t force her to wear the sunscreen and that the honeymoon was ruined! It was then I realized I picked the wrong person. After a few more psycho arguments (mad at me because of something in her dreams, mad because I didn’t remind her to bring an umbrella) I had to call it quits. I can’t stay with someone who constantly blames me for their own problems.
Luckily no kids and I got back everything I brought into the marriage.
#41 The Last Straw
I divorced him when I realized that no matter what I did he was never going to change. I let him walk all over me and cheat on me for years and kept thinking if I just did more, was more patient, a better wife etc, he would realize his mistakes. Example: He would cheat. I would catch him. A huge fight would break out.
He would manipulate me into it somehow being my fault he did it. You don’t love me enough, you’ll never trust me again, you didn’t have sex with me that one time back in 2006 and I felt rejected. Somehow I would have to make it up to him and prove to him I trusted him. I’d forgive him and work my butt off to be happier, nicer, more understanding.
But after a few months I would just catch him all over again. Then, I finally hit my breaking point. he convinced me he had really changed. He wanted to be a family, the whole package. Of course, I ended up pregnant. It turned out to be high risk and I was hospitalized often. Only allowed home with bed rest. Even then he wouldn’t stop running around on me.
I lost 45 pounds, my hair started falling out, I was too weak to even walk. My own family thought I was dying. He didn’t even care. So at one point I was sitting by myself and I just realized. I was done. He was never going to change. And it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t fix whatever was broken in him and I was done trying.
It took six months after the baby was born before doctors would let me go back to work. I moved out. Spent a few years alone, swearing off men. Now I’m with a fantastic man that loves me. The divorce is still dragging on. My ex tried a lot of dirty tricks when he found out I was leaving. I laughed in his face at every one.
He doesn’t get it. At one point I seriously thought I would die. I thought my kids would be left alone with only him to take care of them. After going through that, nothing he could do could bother me. Ever. So anyway. That’s my story. Hope it helps.
Back in the early 1980s, I was engaged to a young lady three years my junior and had a bit more than $20,000 in savings. Everything looked promising with a new career in the Army and a new family life. The wedding went off without a hitch. I was looking at a vacation of about three months between exiting the Navy and entering training for the Army.
But when my recruiter contacted me over my security clearance, things went south. My credit report did not match my questionnaire. There were three credit cards with a $14,000 balance I hadn’t mentioned. Turned out my wife opened up a charge card at our bank, then got a couple of store cards around town. She purchased some serious clothes and jewelry, but the real kicker was that she bought a horse.
She took lessons as a child and decided this was going to be her new thing. There was the price of the animal, riding gear, saddle and tack, vet bills, stable fees, and so on. I ended up dumping a big chunk of my savings into paying down these cards, then amending my questionnaire responses. I treated this as a bump in our relationship, but things got dark very soon.
My ship date was coming up and things had to be done before I started training. I was in good physical shape, but I was facing Boot camp, AIT, Airborne school, ranger school, warrant officer selection and advance training—basically 18 months of utter insanity. If I got through it, I was a Warrant Officer, but if I dropped the ball along the way, I would not only be enlisted, but junior enlisted in a job they would decide for me. In theory, I could end up a line cook in some chow hall at Camp NoWhere.
About a week later, the phone rang. It was about the horse. No one was taking care of the animal or cleaning the stable, or even feeding the poor thing. The stable had covered down for the sake of the animal, but now were charging $350 a week for the extra services my wife was supposed to be doing. She was leaving our apartment every day, and I assumed it was for riding and care of the animal, and for the first week she was. The second week, she was lawyer shopping. She wanted out. She must have gotten wind of what happened at the stable and didn’t come home that night. The next day I got served with papers.
Total marriage time: 47 days.
So, I ended up with an apartment with four months on the lease, no car, and a horse. I found a new home for the horse. I had to defer my ship date and it took 14 months to settle the divorce. My security clearance was approved two days after the papers were filed. I shipped the next day. In the end, I had two pair of pants, three shirts and a pair of shoes that had no business on anyone’s feet. I was working two minimum wage jobs, 14 hours a day, paying down debt, lawyers fees, rent and sometimes eating only to get by.
In Airborne school, I met a cadet. We’d get together on holidays, between training, long weekends. When I finished training and got my warrant, she flew across the country to give me my first salute. I gave her a silver dollar as per tradition. Two months later, she received her commission, to which I saluted her, and returned the silver dollar. Married that Christmas.
We’ve been together 31 years.
#43 Hitting the Big Time
I guess I can contribute. I’m keeping this intentionally vague just because of the nature of things. My family member is a P.I. He was working a case a few years back. Hired to catch a spouse cheating, so normal case to have. Well, this initially typical case ended up kind of turning into a case dealing with a hitman being hired against the client by the client’s cheating spouse.
I deactivated my Facebook for a while until things blew over at the suggestion of the P.I. and law enforcement, since the P.I. and I share a family name. I was happy to oblige. I was a bit scared because of the hitman and all. Kind of funny, but I didn’t realize it was made into a kind of a TV special thing until we were watching the show over a year later and I noticed that the story seemed a bit familiar.
Then it showed some clips of the cheating spouse’s home and I recognized it. I sometimes traveled with my relative to help with the case. Plus, there was a good taco place down the road, so I wasn’t going to turn down a trip to get tacos. The TV special was a bit vague on how they were able to connect the hitman to the cheating spouse in court, but really it was due to evidence that the P.I.—my family member—collected and turned over.
They wanted to include that, but the P.I. relative did not want to be on TV.
#44 On the Job
My significant other had a stalker who would send him flowers. We would come out to our front garden to find notes or gifts—it was a secured area—once got a glassine envelope left at the front door with strange white powder in it. Nothing happened to us, so it probably wasn’t harmful, but still really weird and frightening.
I prayed that was the end of it—but little did I know, the nightmare was just beginning. Crazy letters started getting sent to neighbors about how awful I was, that I was a thief or even worse. This went on for a couple of months, so we hired a guy who came highly recommended by our attorney. Boom! Caught ’em. It turned out to be a married woman who had a bad crush on my husband. We didn’t press charges, but we had the attorney scare the living heck out of her.
That was the end of it. I’m sure this wasn’t the most difficult case he ever had, but he was so quick with the result—it was mind-blowing that our life was put back right so quickly.
#45 Mommy Caught Someone Under the Hot Tub Water
One of my ex’s best friends had a destination wedding in Mexico. Both parties stayed in a huge mansion house overlooking the water. I wasn’t in the wedding party but I was in a hotel close by. The night before the wedding, the bridesmaids and groomsmen stayed up late partying. Everyone passed out but at midnight or so the bride’s mom woke up because she heard the living room speakers, which hadn’t been turned off.
She happens to hear noise coming from outside and she goes out there…to find the maid of honor in the hot tub, doing it with the groom. The maid of honor had been raised by the bride’s mom, basically like a second mom thing, so she was shocked, to say the least. They had just bought a house too.
The wedding never happened and I enjoyed my vacation and returned the dress. Super after the fact, but I did some research and last year they made up, got married, and had a kid. I feel bad for the girl for not just kicking him aside.
#46 It’s Like I Don’t Even Know You
I found out that the man I’d been involved with for six months had not one, not two, but three aliases.
#47 The Maid of Honor Who Said…
I went to a co-worker’s wedding and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the other woman and that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears and the groom immediately tried to get with the Maid of Honor, but she told him she wasn’t going to hurt the bride further and that he needs to go away.
The bride is doing much better and is now a manager here and I haven’t heard from the groom in over a year. The Maid of Honor and bride are on speaking terms, but I don’t think their relationship is going to ever be what it used to be.
#48 More Than He Bargained for
One woman I was hired to investigate was married to a guy who made a decent living. He wasn’t mega-rich, but he likely made around $250K a year. He started to suspect his wife was cheating on him, so we tailed her for the weekend. It was only one weekend, but we quickly discovered that she was selling herself on Craigslist and Backpage.
We caught over 13 men coming in and out of her motel room that weekend and found her ads online.
#49 The Ceremony that Will Make Your Jaw Drop
My buddy had a wedding about 15 years ago. We thought he had found the perfect woman, she was so nice all the time, hot as a bonfire, and from what we understood from manly banter as well as her own jokes at the poker table, amazing in bed. Wedding time comes round, “Does anyone have a lawful objection?” His dad objects because he hadn’t found a way to tell everyone that he cheated on my friend’s mom—but it got so much worse.
The other woman was the bride’s mother. The bride was my friend’s half-sister. Apparently, the dad had only seen pictures of the girl as she grew up and only he and her mom knew the truth. A DNA test later confirmed it. Now my friend is in therapy because “the best love and lay of my life was my sister!”
#50 A Familiar Face
Being a P.I. is super interesting in a lot of ways, but it can also ruin lives—your own included. A couple of years back, I was investigating something on Adult Friend Finder and discovered pictures of a close friend from high school who I had a massive crush on. Her husband had uploaded pictures of her, including her face, to try to meet women.
A lot of guys will do this, use pictures of their wives to try and set up a threesome, and then tell the other girl the wife wants him to meet with her first. My friend had no idea they were on there. It ruined her marriage and her friendship with me. I didn’t care about what she and her husband did in the privacy of their own home, but she couldn’t look me in the eye after it.
We hadn’t been close after high school but it messed with sort of future friendship, which makes me sad. When I did tell her about finding that stuff, she admitted that her husband had cheated on her in the past, before they were married. I have no idea why she stayed with him.
#51 Just a Little Innocent Fun
I got hired by a wife to see if her husband was sleeping with his secretary. We followed them, recording them going into his single-bed hotel room at 10:20 pm after a nice dinner and leaving together the next morning at 8 am. I think that it’s a slam dunk, but the wife’s reaction was heartbreaking. She suddenly went into total denial. She told me it proved nothing and that they could have just been working late.
Okay lady, you’re the one paying me.
#52 All the Better to See You With, My Dear
A woman I know had to get a private investigator as part of her divorce. The husband had been cheating, but in order to get infidelity as part of the divorce hearing, there needed to be a witness who saw him go to the other woman’s house after 10 pm and stay there for at least an hour. It was a slam dunk, probably because the P.I. was so unassuming.
She was like a 50-year-old woman who you never would’ve guessed was a P.I.
#53 Somebody’s Watching You
My ex hired a P.I. against me to find anything and everything he could to try and twist it around and make it look like I was an unfit mother. He was trying to win a custody battle. The P.I. sat outside of my house, taking pictures and videos. He followed me in public and took videos and pictures. He gleaned anything he could from social media.
My friend tagged me in a post that said something like, “Drinking Friends, ASSEMBLE!” and that was presented as evidence that I was an alcoholic. Heck, I am the DD more often than anyone! We ended up settling before the trial came, so thankfully this folder of photos of me attending a street dance, *gasp* dancing, and printouts of any references to alcohol made on Facebook did not get presented in open court for me to defend every single action.
Unfortunately, he does present this “book of shame” to parent mediators, counselors, and anyone else he thinks should believe that I’m an alcoholic horrible mother. This left me with lingering paranoia and distrust, no surprise. I have had to leave public venues for fear that I’m being watched. Nothing has damaged me more than this.
#54 We’ve Got Ourselves a Runner
My boyfriend literally ran away. We got back from a gig and I went to put some ice cream in the freezer only to hear footsteps and the door slamming. Ran out and he was legging it down the road. Not only is it my worst breakup, it’s my weirdest.
#55 You Should Have Dropped the Girl Instead of the Class
I left my girlfriend’s dorm room to go to class. When I get there it’s been canceled. I decided to go back to her room—I couldn’t believe what I found. I could hear her hooking up with another guy (she was very loud). Even worse? I knocked on the door and she actually answered, thinking someone was going to ask them to keep it down.
#56 Who’s Dating Who?
My ex kept treating his dance partner better than me—would take her out for drinks to try ones she hadn’t before, took her shopping with him, post photos of her online, etc—but wouldn’t hold my hand in public, nothing about me on social media whatsoever. It’s totally fine, but if you go on and on about how great your dance partner is and making it seem like your girlfriend doesn’t exist, it doesn’t feel great.
I have no issue with female friends or dance partners, but don’t pay for dinner and drinks with them and then have your girlfriend pay for every single date night. I dropped $70 for a movie night, $40 of which were his drinks. Dude still hits me up whining about how we could’ve worked out, how he misses my cat, etc. I dumped him over a year ago.
#57 The Jerry Springer Like Wedding
My wife dragged me to a wedding that I did NOT want to be at years ago but I’m forever grateful that she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. The bride’s LOVER spoke up at that moment and yelled, “I’ll be damned if I’m going to keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of garbage!”
This deranged old redneck proceeds to come at the groom WITH A PISTOL threatening to shoot him if he doesn’t give her up. It wasn’t a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people, but every single one of them went screaming and running. Maybe two people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife’s hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
#58 The High Cost of a Broken Heart
We’d been together for three years. She borrowed several hundred dollars from me a week before we broke up, knowing the whole time that she was going to do it. When she broke up with me, all she did was tell me that she didn’t love me anymore. No discussion, no explanation, nothing. She then kept the breakup secret, moved to another city, mooched off of my friends, trashed their apartment, and worst of all?
She nearly killed their dog.
#59 Give Me The Money!
My dad got remarried after having been divorced for five years. I would have been all for it, but this whole situation didn’t feel right. He met this woman in another state on a business trip and would travel up to see her every weekend. They knew each other for six months before getting engaged. The engagement only lasted three months.
My brother and I tried telling him about all the red flags, telling him to take his time. My dad is very well-off financially, and we kept trying to explain to him that things were moving too quickly, and she seemed like a gold-digger. She moved her whole family from their hometown to the city my dad lived in, including their elderly grandmother who needed constant medical supervision.
Before they were even married, the pantry was full of expensive food from Whole Foods, instead of the cheaper unbranded things we got from the local grocery store. He bought new furniture and had the house repainted, all at his bride-to-be’s request. The marriage lasted all of two weeks. She made one, despicable request, and my dad ended it on the spot. She had the gall to ask my dad to leave everything to her in the will and to write me and my brother out. Only then did he realize she was in it for the money.
The next day he had the marriage annulled.
#60 If You Liked It, Then You Should Have Put a Biscuit on It
An old college friend was coming over to visit, so my partner asked, “Where are your biscuits?” I told her I didn’t have any, and she said, “You know, when someone comes over, you should have an array of snacks, like biscuits, to offer them.” I understood her point, but he was my friend, and I told her that he wasn’t coming over for biscuits.
She asked me what I’d offer him, and I said that I had some homebrew. Two days later she says: “Anyone who doesn’t have biscuits doesn’t respect friends and family,” and breaks up with me. This is not during the first two weeks of the relationship. This is when we were engaged. Needless to say, I was an idiot to be with her, and we never married. Thank God!
#61 You Should Really Get Out More… Without Me
She started encouraging me to go out without her more often. She’d never done that before and usually couldn’t stand to be apart from me. In retrospect, there were a lot of warning signs, but I didn’t notice any of them. Meanwhile, she was basically in a year-long relationship with one of my best friends and I was utterly oblivious!
#62 The Joke’s On Her
I canceled on a party her friends were having because I worked late. My boss let me out a few hours early because it was dead. So I went to the party. I got there and asked her cousin where she was. Her cousin said, “Oh, she’s in her car out front on the phone.” As I walked away to go to the car her cousin panicked and said “NO! WAIT! SHE’S IN THE BATHROOM!”
I knew she was lying, so I jogged to my girlfriend’s car out front. I looked in the window and she was pantless doing stuff with two other guys in the back seat. That was ten years ago. Now she’s a mother to four fatherless children and I’m engaged to her beautiful ex-best friend.
#63 No Trespassing
She was out of town for a week with her mother, and her last paycheck was coming in from the job she’d just gotten fired from. She asked me to go to their house and check on her cat, as well as look to see if the check had come in the mail yet. I find the cat, snap a pic, and check the mailbox. Nothing there. Alright, whatever, I guess I’ll leave.
Then, her grandmother sees me from across the street—yes, she owned the house across the street from the family. She says it’s cool if I go in the house since they know me by this point. Okay, cool. I’ll just see if it came recently, and her dad had picked it out of the mailbox. Nope, not in the pile in the living room. Okay. Whatever. I leave.
Two days later, I get a text from her about how her family is freaking out because somebody went into their house. I ask why they freaked out, since I went into the house, and her family knew I did. Cue more freaking out and accusing me of abusing their trust to break in while they’re gone. Even though I had permission…
A week passes, the whole while I’m getting constant texts about how I’m a piece of trash for not respecting their privacy, and that her dad had a video of me going into the room where they kept their guns—even though I had no idea at the time they even HAD such a room. Also, claiming that I never had permission to enter. After a week of this, she FINALLY asks her grandma, who confirms my story that I’ve been saying the whole time.
The worst part? Then she expects me to act as if nothing happened. I was afraid I was going to get thrown in jail for a false claim when I was trying to be a good boyfriend! I tried to keep going, but I quickly realized that over that week I’d lost all sense of love and trust I felt for her. So I broke it off.
#64 Now the Only Thing I’m Sick of Is You
When I was 21, I started dating this guy who was about 30. He was just awful, would insult me constantly, couldn’t take no for an answer, and was insanely jealous and suspicious. Finally, I broke up with him. His reaction was utterly chilling. He stole and broke my iPod. Then, he texted me nearly a year later to inform me that he was getting married to the perfect woman and was so much happier.
Then, six months after that, to inform me that she cheated on him and they split up. He wanted a hookup, I declined. He claimed he had nudes of me from when we dated and threatened me with them. I told him he was pathetic. He’s sporadically texted me since then, but I never reply anymore. Maybe my nudes are out there somewhere, but whatever.
#65 Inexperience Isn’t a Crime
She told me she had to break up because she was going to jail. Three days later I got a call from a friend of hers saying, “No, she broke up with you because you’re a virgin.” Years later, she has three kids and is single again. Karma is like that.
#66 Put it Off
When I told him that I didn’t have the money for a wedding right now and we needed to push it back a year. He said, “Well if we don’t have it now, we’ll never have it.” I suggested we just go to the justice of the peace, and he said, “No, I want a real wedding.” He and his family didn’t have the money to even help…so he expected me to pay for my own wedding by myself.
He had some friends over a few days later, and I was having a call with my bridesmaids, and I overheard him say, “Oh, I stay out of all that stuff…the wedding is for her, you know.” It was the first time that I had ever heard him outright lie to someone about something so trivial and dumb. So I did what I had to do. I broke off the engagement the next day.
I’m not trying to go into debt for one day. He finally confessed that he wanted to get married because he wanted something in his life that was secure. I was like…and what was I going to get? A bag of problems is what. I am so thankful for my wandering ears overhearing him talk to his friends.
#67 Can’t Tell the Difference
We moved into a house together and things were a little on the rocks, but I figured I could work a little harder and she would too. I had my doubts as she was a control freak and really only took what I said about things at face value—really saw that later on after we split. We had a huge fight about the living room paint color.
She said it was just awful and couldn’t put up with it. We went round and round about it for a week or so until I finally just decided I could concede on this one, but that I got to choose the bedroom color. She described it as a cream color, but like adding too much creamer to coffee. “Disgusted” was her word for it I want to say.
Anywho, I’m standing in the paint aisle on my day off and utterly exhausted from a week of work and remodeling. I’m dead tired and she’s combing through the paint swatches. She finds the color and we get it mixed. We end up in an argument in the car as I’m opting for bed and she wants to paint. I told her it is better to do it during the day so we can open the windows and let it air out better.
It was currently raining and I didn’t want watermarks. It escalated and grew until she finally just got so pissed that she left. I decided to be nice and start painting the opposing window wall to at least show her I heard her thoughts. I got it all mixed up and dipped the roller. Rolled over once and it all hit me at the exact same time—I was sick of her and her controlling attitude. I was done feeling like an ass for things I didn’t do wrong. I was tired of living her dream life.
You know why it hit me? That paint was the exact same color as the wall.
#68 Bull in a China Shop
He was the kind that never apologized and bought people with expensive gifts every time he’d mess up. When he did that to me, I broke up with him and refused to take his gifts. He was very confused and kept asking why I wouldn’t go back to him, since he bought me so much good stuff—and didn’t understand even after I lectured him, becoming increasingly angry with my (friendly!) refusals.
Then he threw the things against the wall and rammed his head through the window. Broken glass and blood everywhere. I called an ambulance and his family, and after that, I noped out of the relationship for good. Nowadays he’s married, but our mutual friends say he’s still in love with me (and doesn’t hide it from the wife)…he asks them questions and tries to set up “accidental” encounters.
I asked them not to share information about me with him anymore.
#69 Living in an Accelerated Timeline
I got dumped. What’s remarkable about it was her method: Not telling me at all. We had been together for three or four weeks, and one day I was just coming home from work, and I saw her walking with another dude. I confronted her in front of him. I asked who he was, and she said, “Oh hey, this is my boyfriend.” I replied: “Uhmm haven’t we been in a relationship for like a month now?”
Her response made my blood run cold. She said, “Ugh I guess, but we clearly broke up yesterday evening.” I was so confused. We didn’t break up that evening; we just had a minor squabble about how we should spend more time together. I was working 12-hour shifts that week. We even kissed when I was leaving her place, and she told me, “I love you.”
I was so astounded I couldn’t even be mad. Forgot about her in a few weeks and moved on with my life.
#70 Moral of the Story
I caught my ex-fiancee on New Year’s. I posted pictures of us, exclaiming how I was excited to spend another year with her. Sadly enough, her other boyfriend saw the post I tagged her in. He was awfully upset as well. I still sympathize with him because I know how it feels. Don’t cheat on your partner. It tears people up inside.
#71 Bold Move
He told me he had to go to Minnesota for a couple of months on business but actually bought a house there and was planning on tricking me into moving there with him. He flew me out to visit a couple of weeks after he left and took me to do all the fun things. He pointed out all of the great job opportunities in the area and the great schools for kids.
A few more weeks and I visit him again and it’s the same thing, but he’s lined up an interview for me at a brewery he knows I like this time, and tells me he thinks we should move there. I told him there was zero chance of me moving to Minnesota and he freaked out and told me he already bought us a house. Needless to say, we broke up.
#72 Pay Attention to Red Flags!
A friend recommended that I check out Tinder for dating, as I was having absolutely no luck on PoF or OkCupid. I matched with this really cute girl from a nearby large city, and we chatted for a few weeks before deciding to meet up on Halloween. I drove down and discovered that she lived in one of the high-end areas of the city.
She told me to park in Garage B, under her building. So, I parked my car and walked up the stairs to the street-level sidewalk. I texted the girl to let her know I’d arrived, and she walked out of the apartment building in a glorious sundress. She was gorgeous, and everything her photos depicted. She was all smiles, hugged me, and said she’d like to go for a walk in a public park.
We walked to the park, and chatted for about an hour, when all of a sudden, she got all serious and said, “Why are you yelling?” I got confused and said that I wasn’t aware I had been yelling. She insisted that I was screaming our conversation. I guess that was the first red flag? The conversation kind of died at that point, and she said she had some shopping to do, and asked me to join her.
So we went to one of those high-end shoe/purse stores. As she was trying on shoes, I told her that they looked nice. She then said, “What, you have a foot fetish or something?” Red flag number two? At that point, I told her I’d wait outside. It didn’t occur to me at the time that she was looking for someone to buy her these things, so I inadvertently weaseled out of that, I guess.
I felt kind of bad, so I asked her if she was hungry, thinking I could somehow salvage this bizarre date. She suggested a wine bar across the park. This was where the real horror began. Her first glass of wine was a full glass, and she was probably 5’2” tall, and maybe 110 lbs., max. She gulped it. One gulp. A full glass of red wine.
She told me I could be a hottie if I worked out. And she was insisting that she’d never sleep with me on a first date. This is when I suspected red flag number three? Ok, fine. She got her second glass, and once again drank it all in one gulp. She was starting to slur her speech. She told me she had problems having a boyfriend keep up with her sex drive.
She then asked if I was circumcised, and basically told me that I needed to get that “fixed” before we slept together. I rolled my eyes, looking for the waiter to ask for bill and peace out. She got her third glass of wine and gulped that too. She told me not to let her have more, or she might end up doing something she regrets with me later.
I told the waiter we were done and asked for the bill. The girl absolutely freaked out, knocked over her glass, and then said, completely deadpan, “You didn’t ask if I wanted another glass,” to which I responded, “You asked me to not let you have a fourth glass.” She started yelling, “No man tells me what to do!” Fourth red flag.
I got her the fourth glass, and by the time she finished, she was wasted. Like trashed. She was slurring and could barely keep her eyes open. She needed help to get out of the chair, and I had to carry her purse and shopping bags. We were walking distance to her apartment, but I decided to hail a cab. I was holding up this girl when the cab pulled up.
She immediately puked on the cab. The cabbie got out. He was absolutely furious and threatened to call the cops. I was freaking out, I offered to clean it up and tip well. We went to a nearby store where I bought sanitation wipes and cleaned up the cab as best as I could, as well as the girl. I was afraid the cabbie was going to call the police.
We got back to the apartment, and the doorman saw us and recognized the woman. He gave me a knowing nod as if he’d seen this before. Yet another red flag. In the elevator, she asked me to look in her purse to find the key card that she needed to get the elevator to the 13th floor. When I was digging around in her purse, I found a loaded revolver, with no safety on.
Glancing at her hunched form, I decided to unload the revolver and put it at the bottom of her purse for safekeeping. We got to her apartment, and I led her to the bathroom and told her to get cleaned up. I also said I was leaving, as she was obviously not well. As I was walking out the door, she walked out of the bathroom…naked, and with a dribble of vomit on her.
She asked, “I thought you were gonna join me?” I ran out of her door, but she followed me out into the hallway, screaming for me to come back. One of her neighbors’ doors opened to see what was going on, and I was concerned that I was going to get arrested for domestic violence or something, so I went back to her and told her it was okay, that I was only pretending to leave, and that we were going to have a great night together.
She calmed down and let me lead her back into the apartment—then I slammed the door behind her and ran for it. I then quickly ran down the hallway to the opposite end to a stairwell and ran down two flights of stairs before I realized I was out of shape, and could not run the entire 13 floors. I hopped on the elevator and pressed the first garage button I saw without thinking…Garage Level A.
Well, Garage A is private resident parking. I needed a garage opener, or that key card in her purse, to get in and out to street level, and back to my car in Garage B for visitors. All the doors were locked, except the ones leading to a private sitting area surrounded by an 8-foot fence. I was desperate and wanted to go home, so I decided to hop the fence…and guess what was waiting for me on the other side?
A city cop. I relayed a shortened version of my story, except for the revolver part, and he started cracking up and said he believed me because no one could make anything this stupid up on the spot. I got back to the street entrance to Garage B, got in my car and had myself a little screaming session. I blocked this girl’s number and unmatched her from Tinder.
I then decided to drive home and drink myself stupid for the evening.
#73 Road Trip of Regret
My ex-wife cheated on me, lit my house on fire, took my daughter to Puerto Rico without telling me, abandoned her daughter, ran away to Barcelona and shacked up with a guy, came back and expected me to forgive her…that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, you could say that was a bad breakup.
#74 The Naked Truth
I was 17. He was my first everything, pretty much. Eight months into the relationship, lying naked in my bed, he says, “I don’t love you. I never did. I just wanted to have fun.” I’m almost 30, and I’m over it, but I still wonder what the heck made him do that.
#75 Stake Out for an Unfaithful Nurse
Had a suspicion that the wife was seeing someone else. She had been acting “off” for about a week. We would be sitting on the couch and she would get text messages claiming to be from a female friend, yet she would always set the phone face down. A few nights later she tells me that she is going to go cover a shift for a nurse co-worker who just had a miscarriage and that she would be working late.
That night I woke up out of a dead sleep with my heart racing, with just a feeling that something was wrong. I snuck over to her side of the bed, took her phone and went out into the living room to go through her text messages. Sure enough, she had detailed plans to meet up with some guy at a hotel to hook up. I took photos of the texts with my phone as future evidence.
I went back to bed, returned her phone and just laid there contemplating my next steps. I finally just laid awake for about four hours until it was time for me to get up for work. I knew they were planning on meeting in the afternoon at the hotel, so when I arrived at work I told my boss that I needed a half-day and possibly a few days off afterward. Then, I set my plan in motion.
About an hour before their planned meetup time, I drove to my brother-in-law’s house. I let him know what was going on and asked to borrow his truck so that I could witness their arrival with my own eyes. He made me promise not to confront them. I showed up at the hotel parking lot and about 30 minutes later, they both arrive in his truck.
She was dressed in her work outfit. After they went in, I snuck around to his truck and deflated all his tires (not slashed because that’s a bigger crime). She had carefully planned to cover her tracks. She took our two kids to the babysitter dressed in her scrubs to appear like she is going to work. Then drove her car to the parking garage to have him pick her up there, knowing I might drive by her work to see if her car was there.
I left the hotel, went back home, piled every picture we had ever taken together along with photos of our kids on the kitchen table. I packed a bag for myself and the girls and drove down to my hometown to stay with some friends. On the way there, I called the hotel and asked to be connected to the room under her name.
She answered and I don’t remember exactly what I said, but something to the effect of “I know where you are and I know what you’re doing…” She wasn’t really phased until she heard our girls in the backseat laughing and singing. Then she broke down and begged me to come back. I told her we needed a few days away and that they deserve a better mother than her and hung up.
She called me constantly and I just sent it straight to voicemail for the next few days.
#76 She’s a Sharp One
I drove from San Diego to Chicago in two days after my fiancé attacked me with a chef’s knife because I caught her in a lie (yes, she cheated) and told her I was leaving. She called her friends and family over, saying that I hit her, citing MY blood as evidence. Said friends and family threaten me and my family in the coming days before the threat of legal action brought it to an end.
After a few days, fiancé begs me to come back, claiming that she had stopped drinking and was taking anger management classes. In the months after I returned home, I found out more dirty details. One of the guys she cheated with threatened that he would tell me about them, so she stuck him with a paring knife.
Her “gay” friend had to go to the hospital after she slashed his neck with a broken piece of sunglasses. Also, she was arrested a few months after I left in an incident unrelated to the above for felony, domestic battery, and vandalism. She consistently emails me saying that she wants us to move forward, that we need to talk about what happened, and that we were both to blame for her cutting me.
I’ve blocked her on my phone and Facebook, where she used to send me explicit messages and beg me to come back.
#77 The Bride Did What With Who???
My older brother and sister have always been super close. They’re both much older than me, so I always felt like the third wheel in sibling stuff. When my sister started dating this guy that she met at college seriously, I could tell something wasn’t sitting right with my brother. I could hear him crying at night and he was missing work a whole lot. She was a big part of his life.
I figured he was upset that she wouldn’t be moving back home after college. Eventually, it all blew over, but I could tell he still wasn’t right. My sister’s boyfriend eventually proposed to her and she said yes. Her fiancé was a software engineer for an investment firm, so he was loaded. Their wedding seemed like a fairy tale—but we had no idea what was coming.
We all thought it was going to be the wedding of the decade. On the day of, my brother is nowhere to be seen. My parents were starting to get concerned, but they kept quiet because they didn’t want to ruin my sister’s big day. Everything was absolutely perfect. As we sat and watched the 40-hour long Catholic ceremony, we heard a car come to a screeching halt in front of the church. Everyone turned their heads towards the door, waiting to hear a crash.
A few moments later, the church doors open and it’s my brother. It’s a big church, so I didn’t have a good view, but I could hear people gasping. I knew something juicy was going down. As my brother got closer, I noticed why everyone was in such shock. He was completely naked and drunk. He stood in front of the front row and slurred, “I object” like they do in the movies. It was there that he broke down and admitted his love for our sister.
He revealed that they had been sleeping together for several years. My jaw was on the floor at this point. My mom was hysterical and my dad held my mom with his eyes closed. My brother then went on to reveal that he had gotten my sister pregnant and that he was broken over her decision to abort. He said he still wanted to start a family with her and that her fiancé didn’t deserve her.
Several of my uncles dragged him away as he screamed about his love for my sister. Upon learning this news, the priest canceled the ceremony and the wedding was called off. My sister’s fiancé didn’t say a word. He just left and we never saw him again. I still talk to my sister, but her and my brother have been excommunicated from the family.
My parents even went as far as taking them off their wills.
#78 Who Are You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Own Eyes?
Go to the gym, no headphones! That’s cool, the house is five minutes away. Pull up in front of my house and see work buddy’s car out front. Walk in the house through the open garage. My son is coloring at kitchen table. Ask him “Hey bud, where’s your mom?” He points at the stairs. Walk to stairs…and my heart sinks. I hear moans and movement.
Up to this point I had suspected the worse but never had proof. Knew I had to go look and catch her or she would say I was overreacting and tell me it wasn’t what I thought. Walk upstairs and hear them in the spare bedroom. Walk in the room and say “well this is awkward.” They freak out and try to grab clothes and tell me nothing is happening.
I walk out to my car and have ex-buddy chase me out and tell me to hit him. I go to my command (I’m in the military) the next day. Report him and have the command force him to call his wife that day and let her know. I am now divorced and much happier!
#79 Strange Encounter
We had been together for five years. She started dating someone else for the last five months of our relationship. I work night shift as a police officer and I only found out because I realized I left something at home when I left for work and went home to get it around midnight and this random guy was sleeping in my bed and my girlfriend was nowhere to be found—she was making a run to Walgreens.
#80 Spare Some Change
At a food festival, standing in line for like ten minutes for some French toast thing. He ordered first and got his food, but when it was my turn, I realized it was cash only, but I only had my debit card. He turned to me and basically yelled, “Wow, what are you going to do?” After being together for ten months, cohabitating, and splitting everything 50/50, even though his salary was double mine, he wasn’t willing to spot me $5 for French toast, and he had to call attention to it loudly in front of the whole line.
Then we walked away from the vendor with him chomping down on his French toast and me empty-handed. It seems trivial, but if I had just stood in line with someone I love or even a good friend, I would have just covered them. It gave me the impression that he would never really have my back. I could never see him the same after that, and we broke up the next month.
#81 The Vengeful Groom
I heard of a local wedding where the church service was absolutely beautiful and the reception was near perfect. After the speeches to the Bride and Groom, the Bride spoke in appreciation for all friends, family, and her new husband and their excitement for life together. The Groom was last to speak. He thanked everyone for being so good to them, and then apologized for what was coming next: a bombshell.
He explained that the night before, his bride slept with his best man and that he was filing for annulment immediately. He also explained that he felt it best to proceed with the wedding while he made his final decision. He also suggested that the Father of the Bride, who paid significant amounts towards their wedding, hold both his daughter and the best man financially responsible. Then he walked out.
#82 The Bride Everyone Hated
My friend (groom) was getting married to this awful girl we all hated. They broke up during the rehearsal dinner after arguing about the order the groomsmen would stand in (she wanted her brother higher in the order). Wedding still happened the next day, even though they were “broken up.” We all show up to the church not knowing if the bride would show or what the heck would happen.
She shows up, pastor asks for the objections, and her mom objects—yells something about how the groom is a piece of garbage and isn’t welcome in her family. Mom leaves the church and dad and brother leave after her. Bride is just standing there staring at the groom with a real smug look on her face and says, “Told you that you should have put my brother second in line instead of fifth.”
Pastor doesn’t know what to do, but just kind of keeps on trucking and eventually they’re married. Drank a ton at the reception, we all did. Also, they’re divorced now, didn’t even make it a whole year. Never saw that coming…
#83 Casper the Ghost
I dated a guy I worked with at a restaurant. He was a bartender and I was a server. We’d hooked up after a few months of heavy flirting. It was extremely casual (I thought) and only went on for a few weeks. Then, for reasons unknown but likely mundane (like he liked someone else, I believe) he decided to call it quits, but his method for doing this was absolutely insane. He tried to “ghost” me, as in to quit responding and otherwise acknowledging that I exist.
Now, that is doable when you communicate mostly by phone/email to get together, but WE WORKED TOGETHER, on the same shift! So this ghosting would result in bizarre instances where he would work service bar, I would ring up drinks for my tables, and he would stand there and act like I didn’t exist, standing there right in front of him and asking him to make the drinks I rang up, which he wouldn’t do because that would break the illusion that I didn’t exist.
This inexplicable behavior went on for weeks. Someone must have finally asked him why he was acting so weird because after several weeks he finally sat me down and gave me this overly wordy apology about how he hoped I wasn’t too crushed and heartbroken, but he didn’t see us working out. I informed him that I was never heartbroken as our time together was never very serious. He seemed let down at my lack of pining away for our lost love.
Anyway, literally a week after that conversation, I met and started dating the man who would eventually be my husband. The girl the previous guy liked dated him briefly, then ghosted him (and quit too, so it was actual ghosting, not pretend) so he tried to revive our heavy flirting routine to no avail. It wasn’t the most psycho experience, but considering we were all grown adults in our late 20s at the time, it was just bizarre.
#84 Close Call But No Call
I got really sick last March out of nowhere, and doctors initially thought it could’ve been colon cancer. I was only 23, so this obviously had me shaken to my very core. They expedited everything and about a week after I first went in for my symptoms, I was getting put under for them to take a closer look and get biopsies.
My girlfriend knew what time the procedure was and roughly how long it would last. When I came to, I turned my phone on and was blown up from friends all over the US, and the world—so the middle of the night for them—asking me what the results were and how I was doing. No text from my girlfriend. About an hour later she texted me saying, “Are you serious?” and I asked what she was talking about.
She responded that someone dinged her car door at work. I didn’t respond. She then asked me how the procedure went and what the results were. She knew I was upset and said she figured I’d just tell her later. With my symptoms, the doctor’s told us if it was colon cancer, it would have to be pretty bad at this point, but yet she was fine with waiting an entire day to hear how I was. Luckily it wasn’t cancer.
I broke up with her not long after.
#85 A Long-Term Relationship is Worth Long Distance Calling
I dated a guy for one month short of three years. Everyone, including me, thought we’d be a forever couple. He talked about engagement and marriage within the first eight months—right up to A WEEK before it all ended. We were lying in bed, and he told me, “I can’t wait to be engaged by this time next year.” Fast forward a week.
Everything was normal, we went on a nice date night, he spent a couple of nights at my house, and went home. Everything seemed fine. We texted like we always did for a few days until he said he needed to discuss something. Long story short, he texted that he needed a break. I said I understood and would respect that.
A week later he calls me and says, “You aren’t going to like what I have to say.” I asked if he was breaking up with me and he said yes. Dated for almost three years, and you break up over the phone? I asked if there was a reason. “I haven’t loved you for the past six months.”
#86 Way to Break the Relationship
I was on a “break” with my girlfriend at the time. Got a text from a girl that I had mutual friends with and we knew each other kind of well—started having dirty conversations, talking about sleeping together, etc. Turns out my girlfriend had gotten a burner phone with a different number and was the one sending me the texts the whole time. She was not pleased.
The breakup was not pretty.
#87 Sharing Is Caring
I got dumped in the worst way. She was moving to another city four hours away and tried to keep it a secret until the last minute when I overheard one of her family members talk about it. She could have just told me and worked it out.
#88 Points for Preparation
I got a “Please take me back” speech that she had written on no less than 15 index cards from which she read it. Writing on both front and back. There were footnotes and additional scribbling on the sides.
#89 Should She Stay or Should She Go?
She dropped around to my place hours later than she said she was going to on a Saturday, which was a common theme with her. Sensing I was annoyed despite me trying to deny it, she hits me with, “No, I think you’re upset because you know I can’t be your partner anymore.” Okay…that’s news to me, but okay…so we talk about it for the rest of the afternoon.
It’s now Saturday night. We hang out. She stays the night. She initiates sex. We fall asleep. She hangs around on Sunday…all day. It’s now Sunday night. No sex, but we sleep together. I wake up on Monday, leave her at my house and go to work. I get through work, go home, and she’s STILL THERE. I’m confused as heck at this point and tell her kindly that I might need a bit of alone time to process things and she gets offended.
Weirdest and saddest weekend of my life.
#90 A Conversation Waiting to Be Discovered
I picked up his phone to change the channel on Chromecast. It unlocked and opened the Messenger app where he was making plans with my roommate to hook up while I was at work the next day.
#91 Pawn Stars
When I was a senior in high school, I broke up with my boyfriend. He had recently given me an (ugly) “I love you” necklace. After we broke up he asked for it back. I was out of town and said I’d give it back to him when I got home. He started leaving rude voicemail messages on my phone, so I was like, screw you I’m not giving back the necklace. So I told him I pawned it, and backlash ensued.
More crazy phone calls. He had his crazy flavor of the week call me and cuss me out. Then HIS DAD started calling me and threatening me. Lots of crazy over an ugly fake gold necklace.
#92 A Tale of Two Babies
This was many, many years ago…lying in bed post-lovemaking, as we were both in a loving mood, I tell him that I’d found out that day I was pregnant. He kind of laughs, I ask what was so funny—and his response made me sick. He says, “Kerry told me today she is pregnant” (he was 21 training to be a chef; Kerry was 18 and just starting training to be a chef).
I asked why that was funny and he says it’s because it’s his. I got up, got dressed and went home. Spent days crying on my mum’s shoulder. Two months later, they got married, Her parents had insisted. He and I had been together just over a year (he had been seeing her for a month on the side). My daughter is the absolute love of my life, he decided to cut all parental ties with her before she was born.
Kerry and her parents wanted it that way. My mum was an absolute rock for me those first few years.
#93 Get Your Head in the Game
We went out to lunch, she wasn’t even able to hold a conversation. I had to repeat myself multiple times because she was so enticed in whatever hilarious thing she was reading. I asked her what was so funny and she just kept saying nothing. As I was on my way to dropping her off at her place, her phone, sitting in the cupholder, started ringing.
The number wasn’t registered in her contacts. I went to answer it expecting a telemarketer or someone who simply had the wrong number with the intent of messing with them to have some fun. I went to grab the phone. She has never had a problem with me answering calls like that before, she even found it entertaining. Anyways she freaking attacked me, started screaming at me, and ripped the phone from my hand.
We didn’t speak for the rest of the ride, needless to say, it was obvious what was going on. Shame. Turns out it was my only friend at the time. Lost two people I thought I could trust that day.
#94 The Interrupted Objector
I attended a wedding as a guest of a family member and when the pastor said, “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” the doors busted open to the sanctuary and a man appeared and started to say, “I do!” but two huge ushers, one who was my date, quickly grabbed the guy, before he could say anything, under the arms and literally lifted him up off the floor and carried him out. The wedding continued as normal.
It turned out the guy was the ex of the bride. It was the strangest sight that I ever saw.
#95 The Real Ex-Files
He tried to convince me that while on a camping trip with his cousin, they came across a dead “bigfoot.” While poking the bigfoot with a stick, people in decon suits from the CIA came upon them and made them leave the woods because it was top secret info, blah blah blah. He then proceeded to tell me that the CIA began following him, and they recruited him to carry out hitman-type missions for them.
He wasn’t a teenager when he did this. He was 25. No, he is not schizophrenic. He is, however, a sociopath and a conspiracy theorist. When I dumped him, he stalked me and almost got me fired from my job. He would call my department non-stop and hang up if anyone but me answered the phone. He’d drive around the parking lot and blow up my work phone and cell.
He sent creepy letters to a guy I was seeing. He’d show up to a local bar I hung out at…. he lived 45 miles away and had no friends in my town.
#96 Holiday Fling
I was blindsided. We lived together for a year, about an hour from my hometown. We relocated, upon her request, to my hometown prior to our marriage so that when we had kids, we’d be close to family. We had a house we loved, a dog we loved, jobs we both loved—or so I thought. We got married in October.
Less than a year later, she went to visit her sister over the Labor Day weekend, and I couldn’t attend due to work. She came back the Tuesday after Labor Day and told me she’s living a lie and someone else’s dream, so she needs a divorce. I had no idea. Our divorce was finalized in January. She married someone her sister was friends with, who she met on that trip I was unable to attend in September.
#97 The Meet the Parents Franchise Gets Dark
His mom made a birthday meal for me. The night before the meal, he verified what kind of cake and frosting I wanted to have. On the day of, he was being dodgy over text about not wanting to go his parents’ place to eat. Since I knew they made a special dish just for me, I showed up on the time we had agreed to beforehand.
Barely five minutes after I arrived, he showed up in a state of distress. He accepted a phone call from his ex-fiancé and left me with his parents for ten minutes while talking to her in a different room. When he got off the phone call, he came over to me, looked me straight in the eyes and told me, “This is a nightmare.”
I got up and thanked his parents for preparing the meal (that hadn’t yet been served) and asked him to come outside with me. He dumped me on the driveway of his parents’ house at my own birthday celebration.
#98 A Not So Holly Jolly Christmas
My fiancé left me two days before Christmas. She told me she needed to move out for a bit and get space. That she was moving to her friend’s house. This went on for a week, until, because we have a family Apple plan, I looked up her location. And she was not at her friend’s house. I’m now a single dad of a one-year-old and she’s moving out West with him…
#99 You’ll Pay For This!
The beginning of the end of my marriage was when my husband tried to kill me. For a while, he’d had a mistress with an insatiable appetite for lousy, overpriced mall jewelry and lingerie designed to impress a 400-pound sack of crap such as herself. I knew her quite well. She was a con artist and not a very nice person.
My husband took out credit cards and store accounts in my name and drained his entire retirement account for this bum. At a certain point, my credit was so trashed that he couldn’t do any more damage to it even if he actively wanted to, so he decided to arrange to have me killed before I could find out about it and divorce him. Luckily, I found out in time to prevent it from happening.
I am still suffering from the consequences of his actions to this day. I still have a garnishment that I can’t afford to fight for about $8K ($1K per month), plus another $16K in various stages of collection. On top of all that, the loser didn’t pay his spousal support, so I can’t even afford a lawyer to challenge any of this stuff in court.
Needless to say, I left him because I found this whole thing very impolite!
#100 What Goes Down Must Come Up
My husband’s parents got a divorce after many, many years of marriage. He said he knew that his parents weren’t really happy for a long time. He also said they went to family therapy together at one point, but ultimately chose to part ways once both of their kids were out of the house. As soon as my husband (the younger of the two) went off to the Army, they divorced, and both later married other people.
In the years that followed, these two could never get along for anything. They absolutely HATED each other. At our wedding, we had to take separate family pictures with the dad and his new wife and then with the mom and my sister-in-law. It was insane! Cut to about two years after our wedding. Out of the blue, I get a phone call one day from my father in-law’s wife of 10 years.
She is in hysterics. She had caught him in bed…with my mother-in-law! My husband would not believe it until he talked to his father and confirmed that this had indeed taken place. That was over 10 years ago. Shortly after that incident, my in-laws both divorced their new partners and they have been back together with each other ever since.
My mother-in-law now has all of their old family pictures up on display everywhere, and just acts like the divorce never happened. If you met them and saw them together today, you would have no reason to doubt that they had simply been together for over four decades like any other couple their age!
#101 On-Again, Off-Again
Well, funny story. My parents were high school sweethearts and were married for 22 years. Then, they got divorced when I was six years old. My dad remarried and had another kid, then got divorced again. My mom never did. Fast forward about 30 years. I got married. My parents were in the same room for the first time in 30 years…and I couldn’t believe what happened. They were flirting with each other like teenagers!
I have video of it. It really is pretty amusing to watch (until I remember it’s my parents). They have been “dating” again ever since I got married. That was more than five years ago. They are virtually living together, and both of them think it’s funny to allude to their sex life around me so that I’ll be embarrassed—which still works, despite my age.
#102 The Feeling Is Mutual
A friend of mine was married for nearly thirty years, with two kids. As she put it, they had been “playing divorce chicken for a decade” before they finally went through with it. For all those years, they knew that they weren’t happy, yet there simply weren’t any concrete reasons to get divorced in all that time. They never fought, and actually got along very well. They just weren’t in love anymore.
A few years ago, they finally decided it was time. They went out for drinks one evening and hashed out how to divide up their assets. They agreed on a fifty-fifty split. They got a lawyer to make everything legit and, a few months later, they got divorced. The ex-husband rented out a house just a few blocks away from where they had always lived, so that the kids could easily walk back and forth between mom’s and dad’s places.
About six months after the divorce was finalized, the ex-husband set his ex-wife up with a new boyfriend. They now go on double dates, and even go to parent-teacher conferences together. It is bizarre.
#103 The Married Guy
I witnessed this a few months ago. Random guest stood up and proceeded to basically declare his love for the bride and pour his heart out saying that it should’ve been him up on the alter that day. The whole room went dead silent. The bride went red with embarrassment and the groom went red with anger. The best man promptly called for DJ/MC to start playing music.
But I haven’t even gotten to the worst part: All this was in front of the random person’s wife. It didn’t go down too well.
#104 Back to the Old Drawing Board
My parents split up recently after nearly 30 years of marriage. My dad had always been a jerk—so when they finally divorced when I was 18, it was no surprise. He had been cheating for years and I think that he was the one who finally asked for it. I think my mom stayed with him for all that time because she simply couldn’t afford to start her life all over again from scratch. She spent her best years putting my dad through school, and wasn’t highly educated herself.
She had no other family members around or anyone who could help her, either. There were definitely some confidence issues that kept her around for that long, even though she knew all along that she deserved better.
#105 An Insatiable Thirst for Disaster
My current girlfriend got divorced after 20 years of marriage. About 10 years in, her husband started to drink more and more as time went on. She picked up the slack and tried everything she possibly could to turn their fortunes around. She worked her butt off for seven years trying to address his drinking problem, because “my husband was my best friend, and you don’t abandon your best friend when they are in trouble.”
She tried all she could, but he just drank more and more in spite of her best efforts. By the end of it, he had devolved into a shell of a mean man and she left as soon as their youngest child was old enough to drive. She was extremely sad over the whole thing. He died a mere 120 days after the divorce became final. Now she lives with constant feelings of guilt, even all these years later.
#106 Mr. Wrong
My parents got divorced after over 20 years because my dad was (and still is) a psycho. My mom just couldn’t take it anymore. On the day after their wedding, my mom slaved over the stove all day to prepare their first married meal together. She was super proud of it—but my dad’s reaction was chilling. They sat across the table from each other, and my dad threw a glass of ice water at her face in protest of how he thought it tasted. He then started laughing about it.
He also demanded sex whenever he wanted it. He worked constantly and never talked to us kids. He missed every single recital we ever had, as well as most football games. He picked on my little brother constantly, to the point where he would feel the need to hide whenever he came home. My mom fought with him constantly about how he couldn’t communicate and was emotionally checked out of our lives.
When I moved away at the age of 19, I told him that I knew he’d never been there for me and that it was too late to have a relationship. He replied that he could have assaulted me when I was a kid but chose not to, so he must not have been a horrible dad after all.
I’m so glad that my mom got away from that lunatic once and for all.
#107 The “Best” Man
The best man at my step-sister’s wedding “objected.” It happened at the rehearsal the night before. It was a very large wedding and the rehearsal was bigger than a lot of weddings. The minister was going over the vows quickly while giving instructions on what to do. When he said something about objections, the best man interrupted saying he had to put a stop to this.
He was in love with the bride and was sure she felt the same way. My sister and everyone else were horrified. It caused plenty of chaos and confusion. As far as I know, after that, neither the bride nor groom ever spoke to him again.
#108 Love Thy Neighbor
My breaking point was when, on the day my son was born, right there at the hospital, my girl dumped me for the rich neighbor she had apparently been having an affair with for a long time.
#109 Missed Encounters
At a wedding of a college friend of my husband’s, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there—and extremely worried.
My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the “introducing Mr & Mrs” thing—ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed—lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him.
She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly—her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “Well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed—he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.
#110 Bringing Down the House
I tried to get my ex-wife served with divorce papers, only to learn she had vandalized and abandoned our former home in response to my leaving.
I went over to find almost all of my clothes had been bleached, along with our new living room set. The new dining room table and chairs had been gouged. Weeks worth of trash and raw food had been left out. The refrigerator had been turned off, leaving hundreds of dollars worth of food to rot. The whole place smelled like death.
She had also taken all of the electronics (probably to hawk), my passport with stamps in it from around the world, and the painting I had inherited from my beloved grandfather who had passed away (she knew this would hurt me the most).
All said and done, there was $7,000 in property damage and another $1,500 in stolen property. I filed a police report but sadly, not much was done about it.